still monster

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/52100767.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply,
Rape/Non-Con
Categories: M/M, Multi
Fandom: ENHYPEN (Band)
Relationships: Kim Sunoo/Nishimura Riki | Ni-ki, Kim Sunoo/Yang Jungwon
(ENHYPEN), Kim Sunoo/Park Sunghoon (ENHYPEN), Kim Sunoo/Sim
Jaeyun | Jake, Kim Sunoo/Park Jongseong | Jay, Kim Sunoo/Lee
Heeseung, Kim Sunoo (ENHYPEN)/Everyone
Characters: Kim Sunoo (ENHYPEN), Nishimura Riki | Ni-ki, Yang Jungwon
(ENHYPEN), Park Sunghoon (ENHYPEN), Sim Jaeyun | Jake, Park
Jongseong | Jay, Lee Heeseung
Additional Tags: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Supernatural
Elements, Non-Graphic Smut, Loss of Parent(s), Other Additional Tags
to Be Added
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2023-12-08 Updated: 2023-12-12 Words: 6,299 Chapters:
3/20
 still monster
by bleikursen

Summary

A special gift was given by mother to all her sons. And now, perfect Riki was going to get
his. This was supposed to be a good thing - his older brothers looked forward to it too. Only,
things don't go as planned.

The story of how six unhuman beings survive through a curse, with the help of their new
leader, their angel.

Notes

guys, i doubt i'd update this,, but please tell me if i should continue //thumbs up//
 the beast

It was suffocating, the stench was consuming him and all he could do was quiver in fear as
the large form of a wild animal stalked him.

...

It was the fifth time in a week that Riki had the same dream, or could it be considered a
nightmare? He scratches his head, sighing in tire. No matter how many hours he slept he
never seemed to feel rested. His feet reach the bare floor, the coolness wakes him up better
than any alarm clock. He stares at the off-white wall, focusing on the sounds around him. He
could hear the murmurs of that bastard Sunghoon, who was most probably in the garden
again. Riki doesn’t understand why the man enjoyed talking to the plants so much,
sometimes he’d be up all night chatting to them, and unfortunately the garden was right
outside Riki’s room and he’d be forced to stay up hearing the disgusting whispers Sunghoon
spewed. The crispy frying of eggs from the kitchen takes his attention next, he supposes it
was Heeseung on breakfast duty, he always made the simplest dishes.

Realizing time was running, Riki hurries up, rushing on his school uniform, he groans when
the tie doesn’t work out and just huffs, whatever, even if his tie was put on wrong – no one
would care. He fixes his hair to make sure it looked presentable and he’s flying to the shared
bathroom. He almost barfs when he notices his red toothbrush was wet.

“who the fuck used my fucking toothbrush!?” he screams, an awkward Jaeyun peeks in,
“sorry, it was an honest mistake”

Riki doesn’t understand why his mother decided it was a good idea to create Sim Jaeyun, the
idiot was an absolute lost cause. Riki was the youngest, and the only one who came out a
success.

He glares at Jaeyun, the ‘older’ one smiling too wide at him before disappearing. Riki grits
his teeth and breathes in and out. He couldn’t let his anger control him, he had to prove he
was the perfect one. Tonight was finally when he was going to receive his blessing.

Jongseong smiled warmly at the man entering his office, “Sunghoon! Good to see you, did
you sleep well?” he fixes the loose papers, deciding he’d just shred them.

Sunghoon’s eyes tremble, he glances once at his brother, and then the ceiling, and then the
bookshelves.

“tonight, hyung, tonight um- Riki-ah will- blessing… good thing”

Jongseong nods understandingly, stirring a spoon in his tea. He fixes his thin-framed glasses,
so he could examine his younger brother’s odd self.

“yes, it’s a good thing, Sunghoon”

“mm… no…” Sunghoon is fervently shaking his head, he’s pacing around the office now, “s-
supposed to be good- b-but… not… something wrong with… perfect Riki… something bad
for us all”

Jongseong furrows his eyebrows, putting down the teacup. He stands and goes towards the
stressed Sunghoon, “tell me” he only says.

“_______ told me, __ told me that- bad thing coming- tonight, Riki in danger… perfect Riki
is danger” Sunghoon calms a little when Jongseong rubs his back.

“do you know who is coming?” the older asks, his voice deep and so loud yet silent in the
emptying office.

Sunghoon can see a shadow in his peripheral. He doesn’t want to look, he’s scared. But his
older brother was asking him something, so he tries to turn his head. His breathing is shallow,
his trembling eyes shaking more and more as he forces himself to focus. The shadow moves
and Sunghoon screams, immediately falling to the ground and shutting his eyes. Jongseong
watches the younger with disdain. It was really unfortunate that his mother’s strongest
blessing went to the weakest creation.

“don’t stress, Sunghoon, I’ll talk to mother” he walks back to his table. He hums a tune,
Sunghoon’s sniffling stops.

“the flowers told me…” he starts, “air is thick and end is near”

Jongseong smiles. The end is near? He sure hopes so, it’s been too long.

“where’s Jungwon?” Heeseung makes a sound of irritation, “that stupid kid said something
about escaping… that fool, he’s bonded to this home, he can never leave… don’t worry, Riki,
he’ll be here tonight for your ceremony”

The dining room was dark, too gloomy for breakfast Riki thinks, the candelabra was a bit of
an overkill too. But he doesn’t comment on that.

He takes a large bite of his toast. Heeseung’s eyes were closed, he couldn’t open them (rather
he shouldn’t), but his senses were strong and he asks, “what’s wrong, Riki? Is there
something on my face?”

“no” Riki was honestly terrified of all his brothers, but he’d keep Heeseung on top – he was
the oldest, he witnessed the creations of the rest of the siblings, and he suffered the most
when mother had disappeared for ten years.

“do well in school, Riki” Heeseung waves a goodbye and closes the door. Riki really doesn’t
understand why he has to go to school, he’d never need math in his future. The purpose of his
life did not include studying in 12th grade. But he wallows and shrugs it off, walking the
boring roadway to school. Today would be his final day anyway.

The whole way his mind is occupied with the blessing he’d receive. He’s excited about it for
sure, but he’s most excited to see his mother, he hadn’t seen her ever since he turned five. The
image of her is blurry, but he holds on to the pieces – her eyes were hazel, her hair was
smooth and long, she always smiled and her stature was tall. He missed his mother.

Riki reaches hell soon. When he walks in the building, he’s immediately gawked at. The
students didn’t like him, it was sort of human nature Riki supposes, to dislike or even fear
things that weren’t human enough – the uncanny valley or something like that. He always
had pretended to not be bothered by such unluck, but as the years passed by he couldn’t
ignore the pain of being unwanted. He tightly holds the strap of his decaying backpack and
makes his way to class.

When the school day starts, not a single soul reacts to him throughout – this was every day,
sometimes Riki craved to create havoc and have people look at him, speak to him. He’d
never done so for fear Heeseung would hit him as discipline. With a final demeaning thought
he packs his bag, ready to go home. He takes a few glances at the faces of his classmates and
the surroundings of the classroom, he’d gotten used to the space, to the chatters of the
students and the mix of smells – he almost felt sad that today would be his last day.

His final… day. His mind quietens.

Surely it’s okay to do something unconventional on his final day, right?

No, no, no! what am I thinking!?, Riki shakes his head, he could not defy Heeseung’s
demands. He stomps through the hallway, students unknowingly making space for him to
pass. He clicks his tongue, he felt everything irritate him – a tap on his shoulder. Without
thinking much, he turns to glare at the human, from both annoyance (you want to interact to
me now? When I’m leaving?) and curiosity (who are you?).

A stranger, Riki knows everyone’s face in school – but this one is new.

“hey! Sorry for stopping you, but your shoelaces were untied… don’t want you tripping on
them” he was eye-catching, his skin was pale with cheeks dusted pink. He aura and scent was
just so different, there was no way Riki hadn’t seen him before.

“are you new?” he finds himself asking without thanking the stranger first.

“oh, I am! I started school today! Nice to meet you, I’m Kim Sunoo” the boy reaches out a
hand, a large smile adorning his sociable face. Riki had never experienced proper human
contact. He grabs Sunoo’s hand a bit too excitedly.
“Riki” his throat dries out, the more he held Sunoo’s warm palm, the more he stared at the
hazel eyes – he felt… odd, he felt familiar, “mother”

“mother?” Sunoo managed to get his hand back, and now he’s staring wide-eyed at Riki,
“huh?” this was uncanny, this felt unsafe. Sunoo notices a flash of red in the other’s eyes.

“y- your eyes-”

Riki turns his back, “goodbye” he says in a rather gloomy tone and walks off in speed. Sunoo
is left there to watch him leave, even though the interaction had been one of the creepiest he’s
experienced – he also felt like he knew Riki.

A certain urge overcomes him. His breathing quickens and his lips upturn in an eerie façade.
Tonight he must meet him.

The school was nice, Sunoo thought, or rather he lied. He’d told that to his stepfather.

“see? Better than Buckchon isn’t it?” the older man said, turning the steering wheel with a
strong grip. Sunoo clutches harder on his emotional support stuffie. It was a small doll, the
first gift his mother got him. Sunoo notices the nervous glance his stepfather gave to it.

“S- Sunoo dear, maybe you need to leave your bear home next time-”

“Rilakie”

“huh?”

“her name is Rilakie” Sunoo knows he sounds childish, but his stepfather knew this! He
knows how much Sunoo loved the doll, how much it meant to him. The fucking geezer
knows that no matter how much he tried to distance Sunoo from the memories of his mother
– he won’t forget! He won’t forget his beautiful mother, her memorable scent and her words,

“my favorite boy, you are meant to love”

The adult takes a gulp, Sunoo swears he can see the sweat trickle down his chin. He fights
back a smile, he’s glad even after these years that his stepfather feared him. Because Sunoo is
a remembrance, a sight of secret downfall. His stepfather knew very well that Sunoo was
more than human.

It took 45 minutes approximately to reach home – that’s what his stepfather called it. Home.
Sunoo hugs Rilakie, staring up at the white simple house, it appeared bland, no human love
given to it. He glares at it, hoping the inanimate building could feel his despise.

“let’s go in, son”

His room was in the second floor, no other rooms were being used – left barren, like an
invitation for lost ghosts to live there. Sunoo makes sure to shut his door as loud as he can, he
wanted his only family to hear his despicable hatred.

Once he’s completely immersed in the only personal space he had, he lets tears fall. He
doesn’t cry, no sound comes out of his burning lips and he sniffles. His new room didn’t
console him. He rips off his tie, placing his stuffie on his bed after.

“Rilakie, do you miss mommy?” he whispers, imitating a small child’s tone. He begins
removing his clothes, slowly. His window was open, no curtains at all – and he sensed a
presence watching him.

Sunoo wanted to be seen, by anyone who could love him. He wanted love more than
anything, and he wanted to love back. He was meant to.

Without blinking his eyes, he stares at the vast greenery outside his wide window. He swears
he can make out something. Not a human, no. A beast?

Sunoo is naked, but he runs over without shame, his hands grasp the sill and desperately
stares. There was something there! What was it?

The trees were tall and so green, so green that it made the sky dark, the wind talks and
Sunoo’s stomach drops. His wet face dampens more with uncontrollable tears.

“who are you!?” he asks aloud. He hears a growl. Immediately Sunoo pushes himself back,
he shuts his window close. Stepping back, he almost trips.

An animal? Here? But they said there isn’t, deer maybe- but not whatever that was!

Strangely, Sunoo is excited. He wants to see the mystery animal, to hunt it down, to stalk it.
He makes sure to ask his stepfather for binoculars. In a new cheerful mood, he puts on his
pajamas.

Unbeknownst to him, the beast outside his window did not appreciate the sudden distance
Sunoo made. It wanted Sunoo to come out in the woods, the beast longed for his body.

But it leaves, it was busy tonight.

 new mother
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

An unknown fragrance takes Heeseung’s attention, he turns his head towards the smell – but
he can tell there was no one there. He furrows his eyebrows, confused as to why such a scent
reached this particular region.

He’s outside the manor he and his brothers call home. He is waiting for Jungwon to return.
As the oldest, Heeseung was responsible for all his younger siblings; things were easy for the
most part, except Jungwon. Little Jungwon was a menace ever since he’d been created.
Mother had given him the gift of control; she’d wanted him to be the ‘leader’ of their clan.
Heeseung had always despised that Jungwon had the gift that should’ve been given to him!
Didn’t he deserve more as mother’s first creation?

But alas, Heeseung was the brother of ‘stone and light’, he could not envy. Ignoring the scent
for now, Heeseung focuses his mind on Jungwon’s arrival.

“hyung” it’s Riki, the oldest knows he’s shivering.

“wear a sweater” he says with a calm smile.

Riki ignores the statement, “where’s Jungwon-hyung? I thought he cared about me-”, “he
does!” Heeseung hadn’t meant to raise his voice, but he did. This was everyone’s
responsibility, to love – but Jungwon failed time and time again to show it.

“he loves you as we all do… why don’t you go to the basement first, Riki? Get the
materials… I’ll find Jungwon before the clock strikes twelve” and Heeseung leaves, his
warm trench coat flying in the wind. Riki watches.

“he doesn’t love me at all, liar” Riki mumbles and returns inside. Once he’s in the warmth,
Jaeyun finds him, “Riki! Are you excited? I sure am!” he says, a large grin adorning his kind
face, “yeah hyung, I am” together they go to the basement.

The basement was dark and smelled of moss, they carry torches. Quickly they grab a box of
chalk powder, firewood and mother’s book of ‘gifts’. Jaeyun laughs when Riki tries to pick it
up, immediately slapping his hand away.

“stupid Riki, you can’t touch mother’s scripture” and Jaeyun grabs the rotting book instead.

Jongseong watched from his office, through the long grand window. He observed Riki and
Jaeyun leave the house and into the woods, to mother’s kirk. He supposed he should also be
heading off.

“come on Sunghoon, it’s time”

The fourth oldest had been there all day, in the corner hugging his knees.

“b- but-”

“oh, Sunghoon, I believe you wholeheartedly” Jongseong interrupts, fixing his suit and
walking towards the door, “I trust you, but there’s no proof is there? We’ll only know when
we do the ceremony”

“m- mother” Sunghoon gasps out in recollection, “what d- did mother say?”

Ah right, Jongseong told poor Sunghoon that he’d ask mother about his predicament. But
alas! Jongseong did not, because mother was like a ‘god’, untouchable and far away.

“she said to trust her”

And they go, together. Jongseong strode with confidence, and Sunghoon stammered back. He
felt deep in his heart everything would go absolutely wrong, but he had no power to stop it –
all he can do is rub his hands together and pray.

After an eight-minute-long silent walk, they reach the destination, it’s a random empty patch
of land. It had been used before in the previous ceremonies.

Jaeyun and Riki had already set up the main things, the symbol of a snake consuming its own
tail was made with chalk on the earth – though badly drawn, the message was clear. Wooden
torches were rectified around it, casting orange light to the atmosphere. Jaeyun held mother’s
holy word.

“give that to me” Jongseong demands, but snatches it from his younger brother’s hands.
Jaeyun glowers at the action but does not speak.

“it’s almost twelve, but Heeseung-hyung isn’t here” Riki mentions. He’s still in his school
uniform, almost attached to it. It would be the last time he’d wear it.

“d- don’t worry perfect Riki” Sunghoon says lowly, he doesn’t notice the scowl Riki gives
him at the mention of ‘perfect’.

“Heeseung is re- returning with Jung-won… the leaves tell me”

Riki rolls his eyes, the plant whisperer knew everything didn’t he? He huffs and folds his
arms. Five minutes until show time.
The delicious smell was slamming onto Heeseung passionately, he almost desired to go in
search of the subject. The thick woods did nothing to calm it.

“it’s mother” Jungwon remarks behind him, he walks with a limp and as such he was slow. It
annoyed him how his older brother did not care for his disadvantage, wasn’t the oldest
supposed to be most caring?

“mother?”

“yeah, but it’s not her”

“what does that mean?” Heeseung pauses and turns towards the second youngest, the boy
gifted with immense control.

“hyung… out of all of us you know best about mother’s mortality… she’s not invincible”
Jungwon can’t stop the cocky smirk that overtakes him, “she cannot always be our mother,
there needs to be a descendant, and it’s not one of us”

“how do you know this?” Heeseung has always been mild, never letting his emotions
overpower his face, but right now he experienced anguish.

“you probably thought I ran away when I left in the morn- but I didn’t, I went to give our new
mother a visit”

Heeseung makes a sound of pure shock, a gasp. New mother? That couldn’t be. His mother
was all knowing, though she wasn’t immortal – Heeseung believed she would find a way to
be!

“Jungwon, just fucking tell me how you know this-”

“Riki”

“Riki?”

“our sweet perfect little brother led me to him”

“what do you mean?”

Jungwon begins walking, “it’s all about his gift, hyung. Sunghoon-hyung has been talking to
me about his gift, about how Riki is going to be danger. Naturally I decided to research”
Heeseung follows him, “mother came to me in a dream, she told me Riki’s gift is going to kill
her”

“you lie”

“I don’t, are you saying mother is a liar? You wouldn’t reject her claims would you now,
hyung?... let’s get to Riki’s ceremony”

This time Jungwon led their walk to the middle of the forest, Heeseung stayed behind.
“Jungwon! You made it” Jongseong notices the duo first.

“sure did”

Jaeyun sees the grim expression on Heeseung but decides not to mention it, whenever he
talked everyone hated it. This was a happy occasion, so he’ll shut up. Pressing his lips
together he takes a step back in the darkness.

“since they’re here, let’s begin” Jongseong pushes his glasses back, shooting Riki a look,
“stand in the middle will you?”

This entire time, Riki had been in an unknown space, sensing something unknown. Once
Jungwon and Heeseung appeared he felt peculiar. Maybe it was the way that Heeseung had
an odd look on his face, or maybe it was Jungwon’s proud appearance – he felt they knew
something he didn’t.

He stands in the middle of the infinite snake. His brothers surround him.

Jongseong flips through the pages, he carefully reads before starting, “eternal mother, we’ve
gathered tonight” Riki is unable to hear the rest, his body felt hot, an undeniable wrong was
occurring. His eyes can’t focus on anything, his head lolls down.

Sunghoon is beginning to feel jittery, his hands shake. The leaves, the bark, the grass, the
roots are screaming at him, telling him to stop the ceremony. But he can’t move – he’s
paralyzed. He can see the shadow gliding around them. It was here and it was Riki’s gift.

“my sons, it makes me so utterly happy to see you all together” a deep woman’s voice
thunders through. All the brothers immediately cast their eyes away from her, they could not
view her even by mistake – they were sinners, they dared not to. No one speaks.

“my Heeseung I know you worry about me, but you must trust on my power… Jongseong you
have used your gift perfectly to keep the family together… Jaeyun it is time you grow out of
your fear… Sunghoon your visions have always been correct and always will be… Jungwon
you are my most trusted and I believe you will know what to do with my reincarnation… and
finally for my Riki, your gift-”

So Jungwon did not lie, Heeseung wished he could cry. All these years and he could not even
look upon mother and embrace her.

“take my life” and just like that, Sunghoon watches the shadow appear in full view. Before
his very eyes was a thing, a large beast of sorts. His breathing turns shaky, his whole body
trembles.

Horns that rotated with thorns, abysmal eyes, muscled animal like body covered with thick
black fur, sharp hooves and a long mouth, full of large sharp teeth. It made a sound that could
not be explained in words. All Sunghoon could think of was it came from the depths of hell.
As it groaned the earth shook.
Jongseong hums, he wasn’t expecting this. Mother was to die. Next to him was Jaeyun, and
out of all of them he seemed most happy. This was most exciting to him; a beast thing was
here – the beast thing was Riki’s gift! What joy, he believes. All this time he’d been the only
one to hold the gift of animalistic wrath, and now Riki was to have it as well!

This beast approaches Riki’s body, respiring deeply, it was to finally have a host – a master. It
stands many meters above the boy, slowly melting into thick air that wraps around him.

Riki is overcome with this thing, all this time his mind had been hazy – but now, once this
thickness entered him, he sharpens and his body begins to contort. His bones crack inside
him and he shrieks, falling to the ground. He’s panting from the pain, tears form and he
cannot control the way his muscles tighten, forcing all his senses to focus on the pain.

The thick air has finally completely entered him and Riki stands, still breathing heavily.

“good” he hears his mother’s voice and he’s immediately staring up. His jaw drops but not a
sound comes out, he’s unable to form his voice when he sees mother.

She’s… beautiful.

She’s his god, his redemption.

Jungwon feels the splatter of heavy, lumpy liquid. It hits his hair and slides down to his face,
to his neck. This was blood wasn’t it?

Another splat and he detects the sudden retreat of mother’s enchanting energy. He slowly
fixes his gaze towards where Riki is supposed to be.

“no… no, no, no” Sunghoon is chanting, crouched on the ground covered in the grimy blood
of mother.

Riki is there, standing taller than he’s ever been, he as well is drowned in mother’s life.
Under him is a mass, something that used to be mother.

For a while everything is silent.

Until.

The mass begins to move. Jaeyun reacts first by walking forward, Jongseong follows behind
slowly.

The mass is a person. Mother’s reincarnation? It coughs, wiping the ichor off the face.

Riki watches the happening under him. He recognizes his new mother. He immediately drops
onto his knees.

“it- it’s you” he stutters out; it was Sunoo. This was him. Riki wipes the excess blood off of
Sunoo’s face.
 “hm? What the hell is happening?” Sunoo asks, his voice too weak, his mouth full of black
fluid. He was naked, bare. This was his birth, whatever he was before was no more – but he
didn’t know this.

“what a turn of events” sighs out Jongseong, taking off his glasses to wipe off the thick blood
from the lenses, “new mother”

Heeseung moves forward finally, he needed to see. When he reaches the object he crouches.
Carefully he touches Riki, “let me see” the youngest oddly growls, the sound of a predator.
Heeseung desired to hit him almost, “please Riki” he pleads instead, “we all deserve to
experience new mother”

Riki cannot comprehend the situation as he must, but he still understands his ‘rank’ and
slowly begins to depart. Sunoo shivers when he leaves, but immediately calms when another
pair of hands touch him.

“are you hurt?” Heeseung asks, he begins to open his eyes. He blinks slowly.

“I think I’m okay- but- but what’s going on?” Sunoo asks, he wonders if this was a hyper
realistic dream. A while ago he’d been snuggling with Rilakie and now he’s here.

“you’re…” Heeseung cannot believe it, their new ‘mother’ was male and so very young. His
whole being looked absolutely wrong for the role – but somehow, from the light of the
burning fire, he sees hazel eyes.

“I wanna go home”

The fragrance, it’s a sudden appearance. But the scent that had been troubling Heeseung is
back – and it came from the reincarnation of old mother.

Chapter End Notes

ended up writing some more

 to love
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

He’s covered in a soft body towel, the icky black blood stains its innocent cloth. He’s sat on
the emerald green divan, and right under him, on the ground was Riki, watching (staring) at
him with wonder. He meekly touches him over the white coverage, Sunoo can barely feel his
body warmth.

“your name, it’s Sunoo right?” he whispers the question, careful with his volume. Sunoo
nods, he’s unable to think.

Two of the other brothers are in the lounge with them, the moonlight takes Jaeyun’s attention.
He walks over to the picture windows and shuts the drapes, the candlelight was to be the only
thing to give illumination. He looks over at Jongseong, waiting for him to say something
about this situation. The older gets the message, clearing his throat a little before speaking,

“Riki, you say you met new mother at school?” the youngest nods and Sunoo flinches at that,
“why do you refer to me as… that?”

Jaeyun shifts from his place, slightly eyeing his brothers. He carefully studies new mother –
he’s definitely shocked about everything, but in all honestly he’s excited as well. The idea of
a new ‘leader’, a new ‘god’ who is different than the one before. Jaeyun is curious as to how
Sunoo is, what his opinions are and his way of loving.

“new mother? Well, it’s simple isn’t it? You’re replacing old mother” Jongseong answers
with no good explanation. His tone is almost rude and Riki didn’t appreciate that.

Sunoo doesn’t seem too surprised or fazed – just disappointed. He holds the towel closer to
him.

“isn’t it too soon?” he whispers. Everyone perks up at those. Soon?

“oh… so you knew?” Jongseong says, folding his arms, “and here I was, thinking you were
an innocent victim of mother’s prophecy” he manages to chuckle in good faith, “it’s late, I
suggest we all talk in the morn” as he’s about to leave the lounge, Jungwon walks in. He eyes
the second oldest before speaking to Sunoo,

“mother, the water’s warm now”

Sunoo stands, but his legs are shaky. Riki helps him, “um, let me carry you-”

“no” Jungwon interrupts, “you should also go bathe Riki, I’ll take mother”

Jongseong doesn’t approve of how his brothers seem to accept their new ‘mother’, but he
cannot be against this. He silently leaves to his office.
Jaeyun had stayed in the lounge for a reason. Both Sunghoon and Heeseung had decided to
retire to bed, trying to avoid their new leader. Jaeyun was mostly fascinated, he wanted to
talk to Sunoo. So while Riki and Jungwon were throwing words at each other, Jaeyun picks
Sunoo up. Carefully he places his arm under Sunoo’s knees, whispering, “let me take you”
Sunoo easily settles in his hold, thanking him.

Riki is appalled, “hyung-”

“go bathe, Riki” Jaeyun says, his tone not as friendly as it usually is. He looks at Jungwon,
“sleep well” and he takes Sunoo to the main bathroom of the ground floor.

It’s a big space, with a marble bathtub that could fit at least four men. The atmosphere is
filled with mist from the hot water. Jaeyun reaches to remove the stained towel from Sunoo.

“uh- d- don’t… thanks, I can do the rest myself”

Jaeyun blinks, he’s perplexed. He did not see the physical body as something to be shy about
– but he’ll respect new mother’s shame. He tells Sunoo where the soaps, shampoos and oils
were.

“I’ll bring you some clothes… it’ll be outside” Jaeyun watched as Sunoo slowly touched the
water in the tub. Even though he made a remark of leaving, he’s unmoving.

“is there something wrong?” Sunoo asks him, still holding the cloth close to him.

“you’re… interesting” Jaeyun begins, “I haven’t met with a lot of humans in my life – but I’d
assume they’d be pretty freaked in your situation… demanding for explanations and such”

“ah” Sunoo wipes his cheek, “maybe it’s because I’m not human” he smiles, “since I was
born, I’ve had dreams… dreams of you” he faces Jaeyun, “I’ve known you… but at the same
time, I don’t know you at all… isn’t that funny?” Sunoo chuckles and then completely turns
away, a sign for Jaeyun to leave – he does, with more questions than answers.

Heeseung was not asleep, he never really did rest his body. Instead he’s staring at his
reflection, at his faded grey eyes – Sunoo hadn’t been affected by his eyes, and it only
confirms what he was to Heeseung.

He desired to cry and mourn the death of his mother – the being who created and gifted him.
But he can’t, he’s unable to form the pearls of sadness. He glares at himself, he doesn’t blink.

She’s dead, she’s been replaced by someone younger than yourself… she’s no more, you’ll
never meet her again.

A loud crack pulls him out of his reverie. The mirror had a long slash, it contorts his
reflection and Heeseung shuts his eyes. All these years and he still couldn’t control his gift,
how embarrassing.

He gets up from his seat, and goes to blow out the single candle light. His heart stutters, but
he decides to go check up on Sunoo – their new mother. Just thinking – new mother – made
Heeseung’s soul darken. He pushes aside his thoughts, his main role as the oldest was to
welcome Sunoo and explain his role as their god and leader.

His personal room was on the second floor and it’s a slow walk to the ground floor. His
senses were heightened and he can hear Jaeyun speaking with Sunoo. Somehow he feels
nervous, but he fights through his fear and reaches outside the main bathroom. The duo is
silent.

“oh, hyung, I thought you were asleep” Jaeyun says first.

“no of course not” Heeseung responds, “I came to accompany new mother to his room-”,
“please just call me Sunoo” is the interruption.

“…”

Old mother had a name, but no one knew what it was – not even Heeseung. He somehow
found it disrespectful to use any other word to call mother. But Sunoo didn’t want to be
called ‘mother’, it was a confuzzling moment.

“I don’t know if I can do that” Heeseung says, “your name is sacred to you and must be kept
to yourself”

Sunoo laughs. It’s light and kind. Both Jaeyun and Heeseung freeze, amazed at the beautiful
sound – none of the brothers really laughed; evilly chucked, yes, but not a kind, youthful
laugh. It sounded too good to be true.

“why do you seem so unbothered?” Heeseung mutters.

“unbothered…” Sunoo repeats, “I’m not… unbothered… I’m just trying to cope… I don’t
understand anything – but I’ve known all my life that this was going to happen”

Heeseung can’t see how Sunoo’s face marred, how teardrops slid down his cleaned face. But
he hears the sadness.

Jaeyun wishes to comfort him, but he doesn’t – he doubted new mother would appreciate
that. All he can do is awkwardly say,

“I’ll go… in a few hours I have to be somewhere” and before he vanishes, he carefully looks
all over Sunoo’s being – memorizing. After he’s gone, Heeseung finally says,

“let me take you to your new room… I’ll tell you as much as I can” Sunoo can only follow.

“are you wearing mother’s nightgown?”

“mm, I suppose” Sunoo was, it was made of cotton and reached his knees, the sleeves were
long and the neckline deep. Heeseung’s fingers graze over his arm.
“ah… it fits you well”

They walk up the stairs, take a right, and then walk down a long hallway. Sunoo wonders
when Heeseung would speak. It was like he read his mind because he begins,

“mother is an unknown being, she is… was god to us, she created us from herself. I was her
first creation” he slows his steps so Sunoo could walk by him.

“she blessed us with personal gifts, gifts that are to protect each other from evil… at least
that’s what she told us” they reach the end, Heeseung turns the knobs and welcomes them to
the room.

“evil can be anything – humans, earthly ruins, religion… and other supernaturals”

Sunoo could barely make out anything in the room, it was dark and the only source of light
was the moon – it shone through the wide windows. The moon was the only familiarity.

“but we all have our own purposes… our own will to live. Mine is to protect mother, to keep
her happy and proud of us” Heeseung continued standing by the door.

“therefore, I want to protect you and make you happy… you’re different from mother, but
you still are her reincarnation and her gift to us… even though you may not feel anything for
us – we feel for you”

Sunoo is beginning to shiver, he doesn’t know why – was it Heeseung’s words? Or was the
room chilly?

“but I…” he sniffles, “all this time I knew this was going to happen – I’ve had dreams all of
my life, I know now they were memories- but I still… this is still too much… I want to… go
home”

There’s a pause.

“this is home… do not worry, your previous life will be nothing but a distant story” now
Heeseung moves, approaching the small, terrified Sunoo.

“different seeming you may be… but you’re still mother” Heeseung softly holds Sunoo’s
chin, making him face up. Once again he slowly opens his eyes to see Sunoo.

Even in the dark, his hazel eyes twinkle.

“unlike her… I can feel you” he bends down to kiss Sunoo near his mouth. It was surreal.
Heeseung felt this was the first time he’s ever felt mother, ever gotten the chance to show his
love.

“rest easy”
Sunoo doesn’t know how he made it to the bed, or how he fell asleep so easily. But when he
dreams, he’s taken back to his new home, with his stepfather.

He’s eating dinner, asking if he could get binoculars.

“I would love to buy it for you Sunoo… but shifting here has cost us a lot and I-”

The lights flickered and Sunoo knew he was the cause. He had always been gifted with a
strange ability. His stepfather turns white.

“yes, Sunoo… I’ll get it for you”

With the promise of binoculars, Sunoo skips to his room. Smiling, he lies down on his bed,
hugging Rilakie, his stuffie and most prized possession.

Rilakie. His favorite thing ever. Rilakie… is not here?

How?

Sunoo wakes up. He sees an unknown ceiling, his bed felt too soft and nothing smelled
familiar. Slowly he sits up.

In the morning light, Sunoo can see the large space which was to be his room. The walls were
painted in a rich yellow with maroon darkening the brightness at the ends. The floor was
carpeted with a thick covering, fascinating designs were on it, but Sunoo could care less.

There’s a large space dedicated for touching up his face and hair, with a pretty grand mirror
and makeup station – a feminine touch.

There’s a space for seats and a small glass table, a stuffed toy sits on it. Sunoo jumps off the
bed and runs to it.

It was Rilakie, how did it reach here? Sunoo hugs it deeply and he cries. He doesn’t care if
he’s on the brink of death, he wants to have his mother’s gift with him always – it’s all he
cares for.

A knock on the door makes him jump. But he says nothing.

“new mother~… oh yeah, Heeseung-hyung said you want to be called by your name, right?
Sunoo…” the voice was unknown yet known. Which of the brothers was it?

“I’m sure you’re hungry, let’s go eat… Jongseong-hyung cooked today, I think it’s pancakes-
he makes pretty good pancakes”

Sunoo doesn’t respond still.

 “I’m coming in” it seemed the one behind the door had lost his patience.

“you didn’t respond once so I thought you were still sleeping” it’s Jungwon, smirking like it
was his default expression.

“ah! You found your toy… Sunghoon-hyung got it for you” Jungwon is striding towards him,
Sunoo almost runs off. The other just felt so intimidating with his sharp gaze.

Jungwon stops close to him, studying him from top to bottom. He lets out a breathy chuckle,
“you’re too pretty to govern us… come now, dear mommy” he guffaws at his speech. With a
strong grip he holds Sunoo and takes him.

“today’s your first day, I hope you won’t mind how we show love” Jungwon’s words ring in
Sunoo’s head. Showing love? Those words seemed all too familiar to what his own mother
used to tell him. It felt like fate.

He’s meant to love, and this was his calling.

Chapter End Notes

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