I honestly miss the old us

I know very well that as days/months/years go by growth takes place and obviously
we in buck in changes… and I’m not saying changes are bad… I know you always talk
about changes as we grow, but can I not step in when I feel like this changes are
drawing us apart?

I thought growth was supposed to draw us together, as years goes on our love grows
deeper and we grow deeper… for example we have 2 pair of couples have been married
for 10 years, for the first couple their love is just like the first day they met,
they are more closer to one another and going strong. However with the second
couple things have died and they are at stage of divorce… (both this couples have
in buck in changes and growth)

For the second couple that things died years after, things didn’t just die in one
day like BOOM, but they died slowly by slowly… it’s the same when someone backslide
from their faith, it doesn’t happen immediately… from a point where they attended
all 4 services in a week/ or praying for an 1, they only start attending 3 then 2
then 1 service/ pray for 30 minutes then to 10 minutes then to 5 minutes eventually
they stop attending/praying… remember this is also a change, however the change
went from attending 4 services/ praying for 1 hours to not attending any services/
praying…

For the first couple changes also took place but it was the other way around,
making use of the same scenario… let’s say they were attending 4 services a week
they start attending 5 services/ prayed for an hour they start praying for 1h30
minutes, and obviously for this faith increases and they become stronger in their
faith… and remember with this also change took place…

Since you talk about growth comes with chances, which change is our relationship in
bucking in ? Cause I know for sure if things happen to die someday, they started
dying slowly days before that day… I honestly don’t want us to come at that stage,
that’s why I keep saying I don’t like the changes in our relationship. It is
drawing me away from you… from a point I was used to you to a point I’m unease…

I don’t know why you changed so much, I don’t if it’s cause you got me already so
you don’t need to impress me anymore, or you just got tired or this patient thing
has really gotten you cause you never really used to speak about this patient thing
a lot back than like you do now…. Now literally I get told about patience in
everything, now I have to be patient for you to love in action, I have to be
patient to get a text from that you are busy, I have to be patient for you to buy
me something… honestly somethings are just too small to require a whole long of
patience.. and the longer the wait the weary it gets…

In worldly dating there’s a phase they use, it states that a guy only treats you
well when he hasn’t slept with you yet.. as soon as they have sex the special
treatment ends .. I seriously don’t want you to operate like those worldly guys..
one of the reason I chose to date you cause I knew you were a Christian guy you
don’t operate like them and that a Christian relationship will be different… I
really used to be excited about our relationship in the beginning cause it was just
so different, I posted us frequently and most probably used to annoy my contacts….
However I started getting less excited and I think the last time I posted you was
on your birthday, and they are most probably thinking it ended in tears cause I
started getting texts from my exs thinking I’m single again and wanting me back,
just the other day a guy replied to my status saying “I’m too beautiful to be
single” it got me thinking and I started noticing the changes in my posts…

I just want the excitement back, I want to be obsessed with you again, I wanna love
you like I did the first time, I wanna be treated like I used to be treated, I used
to feel special… now I feel like a burden, like I’m irritating and annoying you,
that’s why I’m now cautious on asking you to meet up, cause now whenever you come,
you always say you are tired and complain the distance you walked… and I feel like
I forced you to come while you were supposed to be doing something unlike back in
the days you will come give me a hug and be like you bought for you your favorite
juice… I feel like I keep getting you your favorite snacks while you getting me my
favorite snacks has become history (I don’t think you know my favorite snacks
anymore) Just yesterday this guy bought for me my favorite snacks as an examination
preparation gift, I was was amazed, do you know how it will have hit differently if
it came from you, but then I thought again I probably got that cause I’m not his
girlfriend and he is trying to impress me, and the moment I became his girlfriend
I’m not gonna get that anymore… I guess that’s how you guys work…

I honestly don’t know if I made a point somewhere somehow but I just hope I did…
and this is not one of those expressive texts I always give you.. it’s just
something that I have come to notice and thought of sharing it for educational
purposes… how you take it and what you do with this it’s up to you… I’m not trying
to be controlling, to enforce things on you, or put all the blame on you.. I
respect you and I felt like you are really changing and perhaps maybe you are not
noticing it and I’m just trying to save our relationship