00:03 How do we raise self-reliant kids who have initiative, who are resilient, and

who could be problem solvers? 我们怎样才能培养出自力更生、有主动性、有韧性、能解决问题的孩子呢？

00:13 Kids who have the skills and the courage to step outside of their comfort
zone and take advantage of what life has to offer. 孩子们有能力、有勇气走出自己的舒适
区，充分利用生活所提供的一切。
00:24 I'm a mom to these three boys, and if you're a parent like me, you've
probably asked yourself those very same questions. 我是这三个男孩的妈妈，如果你是像我
一样的父母，你可能也问过自己同样的问题。
00:33 And while I'm sure that every caring parent wants those same things for their
children, I think we're going about it the wrong way. 虽然我确信每个有爱心的父母都希望自
己的孩子得到同样的东西，但我认为我们的做法是错误的。
00:44 We want our kids to be happy and successful. 我们希望我们的孩子快乐、成功。
00:49 So our instinct is to shield them from hurt and disappointment. 所以我们的本能
是保护他们免受伤害和失望。
00:56 We worry about their self-esteem, so we praise them for everything. 我们担
心他们的自尊，所以我们赞扬他们的一切。
01:01 We are concerned about whether or they fit in, so we indulge them. 我们担
心他们是否适合，所以我们纵容他们。
01:08 And we don't want them to fail, so we step in and take over. 我们不希望他们
失败，所以我们介入并接管。
01:14 And we do all of this in an attempt to curate our perfect life for them,
我们做这一切都是为了为他们策划完美的生活，
01:20 but what we're really doing is raising kids who are afraid to take risks
because they fear failure, 但我们真正做的是培养那些因为害怕失败而不敢冒险的孩子，
01:28 kids who lack the confidence in their ability to figure things out. 对自己
解决问题的能力缺乏信心的孩子。
01:34 and then young people who are afraid to launch into adulthood. 然后是害怕进入
成年期的年轻人。
01:42 More young adults are living at home and for longer stretches. 越来越多的年轻
人在家中居住时间更长。
01:49 And this was occurring even before the pandemic. 这甚至在大流行之前就发生了。
01:52 A Pew Research study found that 52% of young adults are living at home.
皮尤研究中心的一项研究发现，52% 的年轻人住在家里。
01:58 which is the highest percentage since the Great Depression.这是大萧条以来的最高
比例。
02:03 And what we're finding is that young adults are stuck between adolescents and
adulthood, and that's the generation of people that we're raising. 我们发现年轻人
被困在青少年和成年之间，而这就是我们正在抚养的一代人。
02:16 And in fact, we hear this in the language that young adults even use when
they have to make responsible adult decisions. 事实上，我们在年轻人必须做出负责任的成人决
定时甚至使用的语言中听到了这一点。
02:26 There's a term for it. 有一个术语。
02:27 Who knows what that is? 谁知道那是什么？
02:29 Adulting, yes. 成人化，是的。
02:31 The practice of behaving in a characteristic of a responsible adult. 以负责
任的成年人的特征行事的做法。
02:38 So, I am convinced that as parents and caregivers, we are missing out on a
great opportunity to raise kids who are resilient. 因此，我相信，作为父母和照顾者，我
们错过了培养有韧性的孩子的绝佳机会。
02:50 can and can take hold of their future kids who can step outside of their
comfort zone and do amazing things. 他们能够并且能够抓住他们未来的孩子，让他们能够走出自己的
舒适区，做出令人惊奇的事情。
03:00 Now these are skills that are necessary not only for them to lead fulfilling
lives and live out their potential but those are skills 现在，这些技能不仅是他们过上
充实的生活和发挥潜力所必需的，而且这些技能也是他们所必需的
03:11 that are also necessary for our changing world. 这对于我们不断变化的世界也是必要的。
03:15 So back to my original How do we raise self-reliant kids who have initiative,
are resilient, and can be problem solvers? 那么回到我最初的问题：我们如何培养有主动性、
有韧性、能够解决问题的自力更生的孩子？
03:27 I believe we do that by raising kids who can think and act entrepreneurially.
我相信我们可以通过培养能够以创业精神思考和行动的孩子来做到这一点。
03:34 Kids who have the opportunity or have the skill set to view the world from an
entrepreneurial mindset. 有机会或有技能从创业心态看世界的孩子。
03:44 So let me tell you how I came to this conclusion. 那么让我告诉你我是如何得出这
个结论的。
03:49 So for more than 20 years, my work was centered around supporting adult
entrepreneurs. 因此，20 多年来，我的工作重点是支持成年企业家。
03:57 Providing them with training and technical assistance and resources to help
them start and grow their businesses. 为他们提供培训、技术援助和资源，帮助他们创办和发展
业务。
04:05 And something I would observe, we'd have two individuals come into our office
seeking assistance. 我观察到，我们会有两个人来到我们的办公室寻求帮助。
04:09 And on the surface, it appeared that those individuals were at the same level
in terms of resources, capabilities, skills, and business acumen. 从表面上看，这
些人在资源、能力、技能和商业头脑方面似乎处于同一水平。
04:21 But what we would find is that one individual would take that information and
go with it. 但我们会发现，一个人会接受这些信息并接受它。
04:26 And then the other individual would just seem to have trouble really getting
traction and getting going. 然后另一个人似乎很难真正获得牵引力并继续前进。
04:33 And what I realized was that it had nothing to do with skill or capability.
我意识到这与技能或能力无关。
04:40 What it came down to was the mindset of that individual. 归根结底是那个人的心
态。
04:48 And observing this got me thinking, 观察这一点让我思考，
04:52 how might I raise my children such that they can view the world like an
entrepreneur, 我怎样才能培养我的孩子，让他们能够像企业家一样看待世界，
05:01 that they would have the courage to step out and to change the world within
entrepreneurial lens. 他们将有勇气走出去，在创业的视角下改变世界。
05:11 So that set us out, my husband and I, on a 15-year journey to raise
entrepreneurial kids. 就这样，我和我的丈夫开始了 15 年的培养创业孩子的旅程。
05:18 And we really saw this come together when my eldest son Silas was nine years
old. 当我的大儿子塞拉斯九岁时，我们真的看到了这一点。
05:27 We have been living here in Maryland for about two years and my husband was
planning to travel 我们在马里兰州住了大约两年，我丈夫正计划去旅行
05:32 back to Colorado to And so Silas asked me, he said, hey mom, can me and my
brothers also go with dad to visit grandma. 回到科罗拉多州，所以塞拉斯问我，他说，嘿妈
妈，我和我的兄弟们可以和爸爸一起去看望奶奶吗？
05:40 And I said, 我说，
05:41 well, you know Silas, four airline tickets were not in the budget, but you
can go if you can buy your own ticket. 好吧，你知道塞拉斯，四张机票不在预算之内，但是如果
你能自己买票的话你可以去。
05:50 So he paused for a moment and he said, okay, well how much are airline
tickets? 所以他停顿了一下，然后说，好吧，机票多少钱？
05:55 And I said about $300. 我说大约 300 美元。
05:57 And so his next question, I have to say, it literally blew my mind. 我不得
不说，他的下一个问题确实让我大吃一惊。
06:03 So he said, okay, can I find free stuff on Craigslist and then resell it?
所以他说，好吧，我可以在 Craigslist 上找到免费的东西然后转售吗？
06:11 Yeah, I was like, yeah, you can. 是的，我当时想，是的，你可以。
06:16 And so then over the course of that summer, that's exactly what he did.
整个夏天，他就是这么做的。
06:21 You know, he would get online and research Craigslist. 你知道，他会上网研究
Craigslist。
06:24 My husband would take him to go pick up those things. 我丈夫会带他去拿那些东西。
06:26 And then I would help him take pictures and post them online. 然后我就帮他拍
照片发到网上。
06:30 But then he also did some other things that summer he hustled. 但那个夏天他还
做了一些其他的事情。
06:32 So he, he sold and baked, he baked and sold cookies. 所以他，他卖饼干，他烤饼干并
卖。
06:35 And then he also washed cars. 然后他还洗车。
06:37 and threw out that entire process. 并抛弃了整个过程。
06:41 My husband and I, we guided him along. 我和我的丈夫，我们引导他前进。
06:45 We were there to coach and encourage him, but we allowed him to take the
lead. 我们在那里指导和鼓励他，但我们让他带头。
06:52 When it was time for him to make his sales pitch, 当他需要进行推销时，
06:55 you know, 你知道，
06:55 we coached him on how to make But when it was time to knock on the doors, he
stood forward and we stepped back. 我们指导他如何制作，但到了敲门的时候，他站到了前面，我们
退了一步。
07:03 And that summer, he raised the money. 那年夏天，他筹集了资金。
07:05 He earned the money to purchase his airline ticket. 他赚了钱来买机票。
07:09 And he made a little bit more and he bought me a But, 他赚了更多的钱，给我买了一个
但是，
07:14 you know, 你知道，
07:14 I'm like, 我很像，
07:15 I don't know really who he was thinking about when he bought that gift if it
was like me or him, I don't know. 我真的不知道他买礼物时在想谁，是像我还是他，我不知道。
07:23 But think about the confidence that this put in him at nine years old, 但想想
这给他九岁时带来的信心，
07:29 that he could have a big goal and that he could persevere to achieve that
goal. 他可以有一个远大的目标，并且可以坚持不懈地实现这个目标。
07:36 Amazing. 惊人的。
07:38 But when I share that story with other parents, 但当我与其他父母分享这个故事时
07:43 many of them shake their head and say, you what, my kid could never do that
because my kids don't have the entrepreneurial gene. 他们中的许多人摇摇头说，你什么，我
的孩子永远无法做到这一点，因为我的孩子没有创业基因。
07:52 Well, being entrepreneurial is not genetic. 嗯，创业精神并不是遗传的。
07:57 It is a set of behaviors that can be learned when given the opportunity.
这是一组只要有机会就可以学习的行为。
08:05 Entrepreneurs are not born. 企业家不是天生的。
08:08 The skills and the experiences that cause a to be entrepreneurial can be
taught and it can be nurtured. 使人具有创业精神的技能和经验是可以传授和培养的。
08:18 Now, raising entrepreneurial kids is more than just teaching them how to
start a business so they can earn money. 现在，培养具有创业精神的孩子不仅仅是教他们如何创业
以便赚钱。
08:27 Raising entrepreneurial kids is really about preparing kids for life. 培养具
有创业精神的孩子实际上是为孩子的生活做好准备。
08:34 equipping them with everything that they need, 为他们提供所需的一切，
08:37 with the confidence, with the ability to speak up, to persevere, to have
tenacity, to bounce back from fear and rejection. 有信心，有能力说出来，有毅力，有毅
力，有从恐惧和拒绝中恢复过来的能力。
08:48 Those are the things that are required in our world to live to one's
potential. 这些是我们这个世界上发挥个人潜力所需要的东西。
08:56 In order for me to learn as much as I could about raising entrepreneurial
kids, 为了让我尽可能多地学习如何培养有创业精神的孩子，
09:03 I interviewed dozens of parents and kids to find out what they were doing.
我采访了数十位家长和孩子，了解他们在做什么。
09:09 I want to share with you what I learned, 我想与大家分享我学到的东西
09:12 and want to share with you five strategies that I'm actually doing, 想与大
家分享我正在做的五个策略，
09:17 that honestly I think every parent should be doing with their children to
disrupt our conventional way of parenting. 老实说，我认为每个父母都应该与他们的孩子一
起做，以打破我们传统的养育方式。
09:28 So number one, Don't give them an allowance That's right. 所以第一，不要给他们
津贴，这是对的。
09:34 That's what I'm talking about too. 这也是我正在谈论的。
09:35 Yes Don't give them an allowance instead 是的，不要给他们津贴
09:39 Challenged them to start a business to earn their spending money 挑战他们创业以
赚取零用钱
09:43 So this is my boys and this is how one of the ways that they've earned money
这就是我的孩子们，这就是他们赚钱的方式之一
09:48 their own spending money is they make bracelets 他们自己的花销就是做手链
09:50 and There is no better lesson around the value of a dollar that when you have
to work hard to earn each one of them. 当你必须努力工作才能赚到每一美元时，关于一美元的价
值，没有比这更好的教训了。
10:02 And through this process, 而通过这个过程，
10:03 our kids will learn confidence, financial literacy, public speaking, how to
convince people, all skills that are valuable for the world that we live in. 我们的
孩子将学习自信、金融知识、公开演讲、如何说服别人，以及对我们生活的世界有价值的所有技能。
10:14 So don't give them an allowance. 所以不要给他们津贴。
10:16 The next thing is make them pay for their wants, you know, key to
entrepreneurship is about personal responsibility and ownership. 接下来的事情是让他们
为自己的需求付出代价，你知道，创业的关键是个人责任和所有权。
10:29 And it is amazing how when you put the responsibility on someone else to buy
that thing that they said they really want it. 令人惊奇的是，当你把购买那件东西的责任推给
别人时，他们说他们真的很想要它。
10:38 Kind of shifts a little bit, right? 有点转变，对吧？
10:40 It really, really does. 确实如此。
10:42 It's no different with the kids. 和孩子们没有什么不同。
10:44 And so we actually started this quite early with our children. 所以我们实际上
很早就开始和我们的孩子一起做这件事。
10:48 So when Silas was about four years old, 所以当塞拉斯大约四岁的时候
10:55 And the boys would earn daddy dollars for doing things such as chores, for
exhibiting positive behavior, and for also reading books. 男孩们可以通过做家务、表现出
积极的行为以及读书等事情来赚取爸爸的钱。
11:06 And actually purchased his first bike from using daddy dollars. 实际上，他用爸
爸的钱购买了他的第一辆自行车。
11:13 He had to earn $250 and that allowed him to purchase his first bike. 他必须
赚到 250 美元才能购买他的第一辆自行车。
11:19 Now, yeah, you these are not real, real dollars, but to silence that 现在，
是的，这些不是真正的、真正的美元，但要让这一切保持沉默
11:25 experience of working hard to earn that money and to buy that bike was a very
real experience for him. 努力工作挣钱买自行车的经历对他来说是一次非常真实的经历。
11:34 Also, in 2019, our family decided to take a trip to Tanzania. 另外，2019 年，
我们一家人决定去坦桑尼亚旅行。
11:41 And so the boys were really excited about it. 所以男孩们对此非常兴奋。
11:44 And I said, now, if you want to go to Tanzania, you're dead and are gone.
我说，现在，如果你想去坦桑尼亚，你就死了，走了。
11:49 But if you want to go to Tanzania, you know what you got to do? 但如果你想去坦
桑尼亚，你知道你必须做什么吗？
11:53 What do you think I told them? 你认为我告诉了他们什么？
11:55 They're going to have to buy their own airline ticket. 他们将不得不购买自己
的机票。
11:58 Yes. 是的。
11:58 Now, the tickets to Tanzania were not cheap. 现在，去坦桑尼亚的机票并不便宜。
12:01 They were $900 apiece. 他们每人 900 美元。
12:04 But check this out. 但看看这个。
12:06 This is what I just loved was when I told the boys that they were going to
have to buy their own ticket, 这就是我最喜欢的就是当我告诉孩子们他们必须自己买票时，
12:11 Silas, remembering back to what he had done when he was about nine years old,
he said to his brothers, That's easy. 塞拉斯回想起自己九岁时所做的事，对他的兄弟们说：
“这很容易。”
12:19 Don't worry about it. 别担心。
12:21 I'll show you how to do it. 我将向您展示如何做到这一点。
12:23 Yes. 是的。
12:25 And sure enough, they worked hard over several months and they did just that.
果然，他们经过几个月的努力，终于做到了。
12:32 They were able to earn enough money by selling their bracelets that I showed
you earlier. 他们通过出售我之前向您展示的手镯来赚到足够的钱。
12:38 and they all were able to go with their parents to Tanzania. 他们都能够和父
母一起去坦桑尼亚。
12:44 So I would encourage you to make your kids pay for the things that they say
they want. 所以我鼓励你让你的孩子为他们所说想要的东西付费。
12:50 The next is to reduce their prosperity. 接下来是减少他们的繁荣。
12:54 Now let's admit it, kids today have a lot to of stuff, right? 现在让我们承认，
现在的孩子有很多东西，对吧？
13:02 And when you think about it, 当你想到这一点时，
13:04 I understand this need and this desire as parents to want to give our kids
experiences and things that maybe we did not have when 我理解作为父母的这种需求和愿
望，想要给我们的孩子提供我们可能没有的经验和东西
13:12 we were children. 我们还是孩子。
13:15 But when we choose a parenting style of overindulging our children, 但当我
们选择过度溺爱孩子的养育方式时，
13:20 by providing them with too much, 为他们提供太多，
13:23 too soon, for too long with no effort on their part, what we do is actually
raise young people who are self-centered and entitled. 太早、太久，而他们却没有做出
任何努力，我们所做的实际上是培养以自我为中心、有权利的年轻人。
13:37 And so when we instead, 所以当我们相反时，
13:40 in the 1700s, 在 1700 年代，
13:42 it's interesting because Frederick Douglas made a statement that I thought
was profound, even in the 1700s, because we're dealing with it today. 这很有趣，因为
弗雷德里克·道格拉斯（Frederick Douglas）发表了一个我认为即使在 1700 年代也意义深远的声明，因为
我们今天正在处理它。
13:51 And he said, 他说，
13:52 if you wish to make your son helpless, 如果你想让你的儿子变得无助，
13:55 you need not cripple him with a bullet but simply place him beyond the reach
of necessity and surround him with luxury and ease. 你不必用子弹打伤他，而只需将他置于
必要的范围之外，并让他享受奢华和安逸。
14:08 Still true today. 今天仍然如此。
14:11 Steve Jobs in a speech to some grad to graduate in a graduation speech told
the graduates to stay hungry. 史蒂夫·乔布斯在对一些毕业生的毕业演讲中告诉毕业生要保持饥饿。
14:19 And what we love about entrepreneurs is their hustle, and oftentimes that
hustle is rooted in a hunger for something. 我们喜欢企业家的一点是他们的忙碌，而这种忙
碌往往源于对某些东西的渴望。
14:28 But if our kids never want for anything, what's going to motivate them to
take action? 但如果我们的孩子从不想要任何东西，那么什么会激励他们采取行动呢？
14:36 So I encourage you to reduce your kid's prosperity. 所以我鼓励你减少你孩子的繁荣。
14:40 Next is to let them be delight-directed. 接下来是让他们以快乐为导向。
14:45 Entrepreneurs are lifelong learners. 企业家是终身学习者。
14:49 They learn to do, not simply to know. 他们学会做事，而不仅仅是知道。
14:54 And when we encourage our children to seek out learning for the things that
they are most interested in, 当我们鼓励孩子去学习他们最感兴趣的事情时，
15:00 they become learners who seek to learn to do because they're teaching
themselves as opposed to just simply pouring in information, 他们成为寻求学习做事
的学习者，因为他们在自学，而不是简单地灌输信息，
15:09 which is sometimes what we get in our education system. 这有时就是我们在教育
系统中得到的。
15:12 And so this is my son Isaiah. 这是我的儿子以赛亚。
15:16 his delight is drawing. 他的乐趣是画画。
15:19 And he spends hours drawing and he seeks out class, 他花几个小时画画并寻求上课，
15:22 teach him how to draw, 教他画画，
15:24 and he was recently awarded an award by the Smithsonian Museum of For
creating, 他最近荣获史密森尼博物馆颁发的奖项，表彰其创作，
15:32 thank you, 谢谢你，
15:33 yeah, this superhero from looking at a piece of art in the museum and he
designed this, but now Isaiah is designing logos for people. 是的，这个超级英雄是
在博物馆里看到一件艺术品而设计的，但现在以赛亚正在为人们设计标志。
15:43 So now he's, yeah, I love it. 所以现在他，是的，我喜欢它。
15:47 So, so give them room and space to follow their delights. 所以，给他们空间和空
间来追求他们的乐趣。
15:53 And then lastly, let them solve their own problems. 最后，让他们解决自己的问题。
15:58 Entrepreneurs are problem solvers, and parents, it is our natural instinct to
want to step in and help our kids solve their problems. 企业家是问题解决者，而父母，
想要介入并帮助孩子解决问题是我们的本能。
16:06 But when we do that all the time, we kind of squelch the potential that they
have to discover new things about themselves. 但当我们一直这样做时，我们就压制了他们发现
自己新事物的潜力。
16:19 It squelches their ability to go out and find the answers for themselves.
它压制了他们走出去为自己寻找答案的能力。
16:25 So, I want you to think about those five things as you begin to raise up
young people. 所以，我希望你在开始抚养年轻人时考虑这五件事。
16:33 And yeah, you know what? 是的，你知道吗？
16:35 It's very likely that my boys may not choose business ownership when they
grow up and that's 我的孩子们长大后很可能不会选择企业所有权，那就是
16:42 okay because whether a child chooses to build a company or become an
employee, 好的，因为无论孩子选择创办公司还是成为雇员，
16:50 it doesn't matter because every kid needs to learn how to think like an
entrepreneur. 这并不重要，因为每个孩子都需要学习如何像企业家一样思考。
16:57 And the sooner we do this as parents, 作为父母，我们越早这样做，
17:00 create an environment at home where they have the opportunity, 在家中创造一个
让他们有机会的环境，
17:04 in multiple occasions, 在多个场合，
17:06 to challenge their beliefs about what's possible within them, 挑战他们对自己
内心可能性的信念，
17:11 to step outside of their comfort zone, to take risk, to learn from failure,
to bounce back from rejection. 走出自己的舒适区，去冒险，从失败中学习，从拒绝中恢复过来。
17:18 Then the sooner we'll put them on the path of living out their potential to
lead very fulfilling and successful. 那么我们就能越早让他们走上发挥潜力的道路，从而实现
非常充实和成功的领导。