+For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence

and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or

disagree?

1. Opening (4 sentences)
1 – Context
There is no doubt that humans’ cognitive and social competencies are shaped
at an early age.
2 – Narrow (teachers vs parents)
Two parties that are instrumental in children’s development of these
attributes are undoubtedly teachers and parents.
3 – Paraphrase
Some people believe the former actually has a greater bearing on the process
than the latter.
4 – Answer
While the role of the school in helping children become more intellectually and
socially advanced is irrefutable, I would argue that parents are of no less
importance.
 2. Body
Body 1 – teachers
1 – Topic: teachers are important
On the one hand, teachers play a monumental role in helping youngsters
become more intelligent and socially capable.

2 – Explain – intelligence
In terms of intelligence, the knowledge that teachers impart, especially in
primary school, is the foundation for/ precursor to people’s understanding of
the world and their ability to reason.

3 – Explain – social skills

In terms of social development, students are taught moral codes and social
etiquette / social mores, which decides how they are going to treat others
later on.

4 – Conclusion
Given all of this knowledge, it seems sensible why many think that teachers
are more important in how children think and behave.

Body 2 – parents are also important

1 – Topic: parents are also important
On the other hand, it would be imprudent to downplay the importance of
parents in children’s personal growth.

2 – Explain
While teachers indeed teach students a wealth of knowledge at school, their
efforts would be futile if this knowledge is not reinforced at home.

3 – Explain
Furthermore, children look up to parents as role models, which means if the
way their mother or father acts (S) contradicts the virtues taught in class, it is
unlikely that these values will be instilled in children.

4 – Example
For example, children who grow up with abusive parents are likely to adopt
the same aggressive tendency that they see in their household, regardless of
how they are taught to behave at school.

5 – Conclusion
This is a testament to how parents and teachers need to work in tandem to
best foster children’s growth.

3. Conclusion

In conclusion, the young’s development of intelligence and social skills

warrants the joint effort of both parents and teachers, and no one is more
important than the other.
Written by Thanh Nguyen (8.5 Overall, 8.5 Writing)