𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙋𝙏𝙀𝙍 3

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Lovishdeep Singh <singhlovishdeep966@gmail.com> Sat, 2 Mar 2024 at 10:44 am

To: authorlovish@gmail.com

I sat in my balcony on chair. Chair next to me is empty. I ran my hands over the empty chair. I miss the person who used to sit here. I
sipped the warm milk I just prepared after having dinner. I had two packs of Maggie as dinner. Cool breeze hits my face. Although it's
month of June, cool wind at this season means ongoing rain. I took second sip of milk.
‘Yogesh!’ my mother called from behind. I got little startled at her sudden arrival. She sat on empty chair, ‘You visited lawyer today?’
I nodded without saying anything. She keep sitting there scrolling through her phone. She only came to my room when there is
something important to talk.
‘She asked for any alimony?’ My mother asked still scrolling through the phone.
‘No,’ I said. ‘She don't want any alimomy.’
‘She must be playing a trick.’ She announced.
‘There is nothing like that.’ I said.
‘She is very clever. I told you not to marry her. Kamini.’ She mumbled.
’Mom, stop abusing her.’ I said in a protesting voice.
‘Why you guard that kamini everytime?’ She asked angrily.
‘Because she had done nothing wrong.’ I said. My voice now became louder. I don't like someone say a word against Mahira.
‘She divorced you, was that good?’ She said.
‘Not good, but not bad also.’ I said
‘I think she had brainwashed you.’ My mother said. ‘I told you she was very clever, kamini.’
‘Please, stop calling her kamini.’ I said, my protesting voice was now turned in pleading voice.
‘You are gone from my hands.’ She declared and threw her hands in air. ‘Only god can save you now.’
She fumbled in her phone for next 2 minutes. I glanced through my eye corner, she had opened whatsapp in her phone. I turned my
gaze from my mother's phone to the flower pot in front of her. It has red rose plants Mahira planted once. It always remind me of her.
Sometimes I sit and talk with plant alone. Once an aunty in my opposite balcony saw doing me this and came to me to get the mantra I
used to grow plants.
‘See, she is beautifull. Haina?’ She said shoving her mobile in front of my eyes. It shows a photo of girl wearing bright red salwar suit.
We could use her in emergency to stop a train.
‘Why are you asking me?’ I said.
‘She is shimmy bua's neighbour. She is divorced too.’ She said.
‘So?’
‘Tell me date whenever you are free. I will fix a date.’
‘Fix a date? Why?’
‘You should see each other before marriage.’
‘Are you crazy? I don't want to marry this girl. Or any other girl.’ I said
‘You want to marry a boy then?’ She said.
‘No,’ I said and stood up to leave. She pulled my arm to.sat me down.
‘Whats wrong with her? She is beautiful and rich. Educated too, she passed twelfth.’ She said with pride in her eyes.
‘Twelfth? Mahira was MBA.’I said with pride.
‘Who teach their daughters so much? Only foolish. That's why they get spoilt.’
I choose to sat silence. More I talk, more I slip in pitfall.
‘So what do you think?’
‘About what?’
‘About this girl.’ She said pointing to the phone.
‘I have told you already. I don't want to marry her or any other girl. Just left me alone.’
‘Thats all because all those stupid books you read. I told a not to read them. They will turn you sadhu eventually.’ She said.
‘What? Why are you blaming my books? No one became sadhu by reading books.’
‘You don't want to marry. That means you are sadhu.’
‘Salman khan never married, he is sadhu too?’ I said.
‘Tarun never read any books. See how obedient he is to his parents.’
‘Can’t you think of some better person for example?’
‘But once—’
‘I don't want to marry any girl. Please left my room.’ I said interrupting her.
She stood up in instant such that her chair fell down and left mumbling to herself.
I pick up the fallen chair. Kept my empty cup down on floor I don't know I was holding and came to my bed.
I emptied my shirt pockets to soak it in detergent overnight. My hands reaches that creepy envelope again. I throwed it in dustbin. I am
not a social worker.
I soaked my shirt and pant in detergent and came back to my bed.
I turned on my T.V. it was showing a news of 18 year old girl eloped with 55 year old man. Gross.
I shut down the T.V. and my eyes. That word from letter keep revolving around my head. 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 I have done this too.𝘋𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨
𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳. This is exactly how I felt. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵. 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳. There are much similarities
between both of me and the sender of letter. I think how he must be feeling. Just like me.
Something happened inside me. I want to read this envelope again. I got up and took this envelope out of dustbin, opened it and read it.
This is not just a letter. It hides someone's pain. Someone's hope. Someone's trust towards me. Reality is how can I help her when I am
not able to help mine. I buried my face in pillow. Sometimes our slight mood swing get our whole life swinged. I can't stop my tears
from rolling and brought back to the day of tragedy. Our anniversary.