Relationship Checklist Workbook 2023

FREE WORKBOOK
YOUR
RELATIONSHIP
CHECKLIST
COUNSELINGRECOVERY.COM
A NOTE FROM
THE AUTHOR
WELCOME! I"M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE!
You've just taken a huge step in your healing!
My name is Michelle Farris, and I'm a psychotherapist in San Jose, CA.
Relationships are hard when you don't know how to take care of
yourself. Thinking of others first is a lovely trait but can bite you in the
who-know-what later.
This checklist will uncover the health of your relationships and will
likely identify relationship patterns that may surprise you. Remember -
no one including me has perfect relationships - we are all in the
process of learning and growing together.
The goal here is to identify areas of strength and challenges that you
may not be aware of right now. This is how we grow - by being willing
to dig a little deeper into what may need to change.
Change doesn't have to take years. Don't worry, you are not alone in
this process, I'm right here doing the work along side you!
So let's begin!
a r r i s
i c h el le F
M MICHELLE FARRIS
Licensed Psychotherapist
2
LET'S BEGIN!
Before you begin this exercise, start with the

videos that go along with this exercise.
Who Is In Your Life?

Think about the most important
relationships in your life right now (you can
always go back and use this exercise to think
about other relationships later).
These might be your relationships with:
Romantic partners or spouses,

Family members,
Friends, or
Bosses or co-workers.
With those relationships in mind, complete

the following pages for each relationship you
want to assess. For instance, write down each
person that comes to mind in the lines.
Don't second guess yourself! The value will

be in learning how certain people show up in
your life.
The Supportive Relationship Checklist

and The Challenging Relationship
Checklist will assess your relationships,
The Relationship Behaviors will assess
your own behaviors.
Growth isn't easy. Sometimes seeing the

truth of what's happening is painful. But
that doesn't mean you have to end the
relationship. Learning how to take care of
yourself is the next step.
WWW.COUNSELINGRECOVERY.COM 3
YOUR SUPPORTIVE
RELATIONSHIPS
CHECKLIST
Go through each item on the checklist. If you have a person in your life that fits the
description, place a checkmark in the box and add the person's name next to that
description.
makes me feel good about myself.
listens to me when I am struggling.
respects my boundaries and my need for self-care.
helps me even when it's not convenient.
doesn't expect me to give up my needs for theirs.
respects my opinions even when we don't agree.
supports having interests and hobbies of my own.
doesn't need me to do things their way all the time.
shows me that my feelings matter to them.
talks things out when issues between us come up.
COUNSELINGRECOVERY.COM | © 2021-2023
4
RESULTS FROM YOUR
SUPPORTIVE RELATIONSHIPS
CHECKLIST
These results are meant to highlight relationships that work. Be gentle with yourself: if you don't
have a lot of people on this list. Building up your support system may be your next step.
Who are you able to count on from your supportive relationship checklist?
Are there others who support you that don't fit those descriptions? How do they support you?
COUNSELINGRECOVERY.COM | © 2021
5
YOUR SUPPORTIVE
RELATIONSHIPS CHECKLIST
What does this checklist tell you about your relationships?
Were there any people on the list that surprised you? Please explain.
6
YOUR CHALLENGING
RELATIONSHIPS
CHECKLIST
Go through each item on the checklist. If you have a person in your life that fits the
description, place a checkmark in the box and add that person's name next to the
description.
makes me doubt myself and my abilities.
expects my support but rarely supports me.
has trouble respecting my boundaries.
gets annoyed when I need support or attention.
wants to control things and have the final say.
doesn't contact me unless they need something.
expects me to take care of them (so they don't have to).
has different values that make me uncomfortable.
dismisses my feelings instead of supporting them.
avoids working things out when problems come up.
7
RESULTS FROM
YOUR CHALLENGING
RELATIONSHIPS CHECKLIST
These results are not a judgment against you. If you have several people that are challenging for
you, focus on taking care of yourself as best you can.
What relationships are the most challenging for you right now?
Are there other people who don't fit those descriptions that are challenging for you? List below.
8
REFLECTIONS
What did you learn from making your challenging relationships list?
Are there any changes you might like to make as a result of this list?
9
YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
BEHAVIOR CHECKLIST
Go through each item on the checklist, Place a checkmark in the box next to any traits that describe
your relationship behaviors. Rate each trait from 1-10. If you rate something a 2, it's likely not a problem,
but anything over a 5 is likely something that needs your attention.
A gentle warning: not checking off boxes doesn't mean anything negative about you. When you can
acknowledge your own actions, you show bravery and your willingness to move past old patterns.
I balance helping others with helping myself.
I can recognize when a relationship isn't working.
I know my boundaries and how to set them.
I maintain outside my independence to minimize unhealthy dependencies.
I honor what I need instead of giving up my values.
I do not please others at my own expense or when it hurts me.
I can speak up when my feelings are hurt.
I trust my perceptions when things don't feel right to me.
I address potential conflicts as they come up, rather than waiting.
I can express my own anger directly instead of stuffing it down.
10
YOUR REFLECTIONS
What did you learn about your own relationship behaviors?
Which relationship behaviors do you find the most challenging?
How can you show yourself compassion while you deal with these challenges?
11
HOW DO THE PEOPLE IN
YOUR LIFE MAKE YOU FEEL?
Use this list of feelings to assess how certain people make you feel. For instance, different
people provoke different emotions depending how loving the relationship is. You may smile
when thinking of your best friend but feel afraid when thinking of someone who has hurt you.
JOY
ID
SA
RA
D
AF
SE
TR
RI
US
RP
T
SU
ANGER
EMOTIONAL INTENSITY SCALE
Serenity - Joy - Ecstasy

Acceptance - Trust - Admiration
Apprehension - Fear - Terror
Distraction - Surprise - Amazement
Pensive - Sadness - Grief
Boredom - Disguist - Loathing
Annoyance - Anger - Rage
12
HOW PEOPLE MAKE YOU FEEL
WHO ARE THE PEOPLE THAT MAKE YOU FEEL HAPPY?
WHO ARE THE PEOPLE THAT MAKE YOU FEEL SCARED?
WHO MAKES YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF?
WHO MAKES YOU FEEL ANGRY, ANNOYED OR RESENTFUL?
WHO DO YOU REALLY TRUST IN YOUR LIFE?
13
REFLECTIONS
Who consistently uplifts you in your life?
Who makes you feel bad about yourself or gaslights you a lot?
What did you learn from this? Were there any ah-ha moments?
14
WHAT'S NEXT?
What are your next steps that would help you to improve your relationships?
What skills would make you feel more confident in relationships? Example:
communication skills, managing anger, setting boundaries, trusting yourself, etc.
How have you attempted to work on these issues? What's worked and what hasn't?
15
WHERE DO YOU NEED HELP?
SELF-TRUST
When you struggle with doubt, relationships are
harder to navigate because you can't trust your
own perceptions.
Trusting others can't happen unless you know

how to trust others.
SETTING BOUNDARIES
Relationships need boundaries in order to stay
healthy. Without them, it's difficult to advocate
for yourself.
Setting healthy boundaries decreases

resentment and gives your back your time.
MANAGING EMOTIONS
When you can't manage emotions effectively,
you won't be able to cope with life on life's
terms.
Managing emotions makes resolving issues

possible and stress is easier to handle.
16
INTRODUCING
- ONLINE COURSE -
Learn how to create healthy relationships

without sacrificing yourself
GET STARTED
17
MEET THE AUTHOR “If you can remember
MICHELLE FARRIS
what happened without
Michelle Farris is a licensed psychotherapist and
anger management specialist in San Jose,
anger or resentment, it's
California. Her mission? To teach people how to
create healthy and satisfying relationships without
healed.”
sacrificing themselves.
Her practical skills are easy to implement quickly. HA V E Q U E S T I O N S ?

You can do this!
408-800-5736
6105 Snell Ave Su 101
She would LOVE to connect with you on Facebook, San Jose CA 96123
Instagram or Pinterest. Click the links below! mft@counselingrecovery.com
www.counselingrecovery.com
/COUNSELINGRECOVERY /MSHELLMFT COUNSELINGRECOVERY.COM

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FREE WORKBOOK

You've just taken a huge step in your healing!

My name is Michelle Farris, and I'm a psychotherapist in San Jose, CA.

Before you begin this exercise, start with the

Who Is In Your Life?

These might be your relationships with:

Romantic partners or spouses,

With those relationships in mind, complete

Don't second guess yourself! The value will

The Supportive Relationship Checklist

Growth isn't easy. Sometimes seeing the

makes me feel good about myself.

listens to me when I am struggling.

respects my boundaries and my need for self-care.

helps me even when it's not convenient.

doesn't expect me to give up my needs for theirs.

respects my opinions even when we don't agree.

supports having interests and hobbies of my own.

doesn't need me to do things their way all the time.

shows me that my feelings matter to them.

talks things out when issues between us come up.

What does this checklist tell you about your relationships?

makes me doubt myself and my abilities.

expects my support but rarely supports me.

has trouble respecting my boundaries.

gets annoyed when I need support or attention.

wants to control things and have the final say.

doesn't contact me unless they need something.

expects me to take care of them (so they don't have to).

has different values that make me uncomfortable.

dismisses my feelings instead of supporting them.

avoids working things out when problems come up.

I balance helping others with helping myself.

I can recognize when a relationship isn't working.

I know my boundaries and how to set them.

I maintain outside my independence to minimize unhealthy dependencies.

I honor what I need instead of giving up my values.

I do not please others at my own expense or when it hurts me.

I can speak up when my feelings are hurt.

I trust my perceptions when things don't feel right to me.

I address potential conflicts as they come up, rather than waiting.

I can express my own anger directly instead of stuffing it down.

What did you learn about your own relationship behaviors?

Which relationship behaviors do you find the most challenging?

EMOTIONAL INTENSITY SCALE

Serenity - Joy - Ecstasy

WHO ARE THE PEOPLE THAT MAKE YOU FEEL HAPPY?

WHO ARE THE PEOPLE THAT MAKE YOU FEEL SCARED?

WHO MAKES YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF?

WHO MAKES YOU FEEL ANGRY, ANNOYED OR RESENTFUL?

WHO DO YOU REALLY TRUST IN YOUR LIFE?

Who consistently uplifts you in your life?

Trusting others can't happen unless you know

Setting healthy boundaries decreases

Managing emotions makes resolving issues

Learn how to create healthy relationships

Her practical skills are easy to implement quickly. HA V E Q U E S T I O N S ?

/COUNSELINGRECOVERY /MSHELLMFT COUNSELINGRECOVERY.COM

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