Sitarah Qumi.

- Component 1 Human Lifespan and Development – LAB Investigate how individuals

deal with life events

Coping with life

Life events are series of important events that occur in one’s life that can damage or help
them. This falls into two categories known as expected or
unexpected. Expected is something that is most likely to
happen like start and end of education as everyone has to be
educated and their education will finish when they leave
school. Unexpected life events are events that aren’t likely to
happen like an injury causing you to become disabled as you
had it come to you without warning. A life event could be
something effecting you physically, intellectually, emotionally
or socially. This could effect you positively or negatively ; for example marriage could be a
positive life event and bereavement is a negative one as you just lost a loved one however,
it depends on who is going through it as they may have different perspectives on the event
that has just occurred.

When one goes through a life event negatively, they are most likely to need support. The
support given can be split into 3 categories which are: emotional support, practical support
and informational/ advice support. The emotional support is split into two other categories
that are formal or informal. Formal emotional support is
from qualified people like doctors or nurses ( people with
jobs ). Informal emotional support is the support given from
friends and family as they may give you anything causing it to
be informal. Emotional support is also received from
councillors to help people through: grief, anxiety, self –
esteem and confidence. Information and advice is split into
two categories known as healthy and unhealthy choices. The
healthy choices are the one’s that help you positively and the
unhealthy choices are the one’s that damage your PIES
development. Practical support is : financial help, childcare and transport. Financial care is
help economically with money for everyday things. Childcare is help through children as if
their child has a disability they may need help with learning or something else depending on
what disability they have or what help the child needs. Transport is help or support through
transport depending on their circumstances as it may be harder for them to do as they may
need help with money which is why they all relate.

In this assignment I am going to compare the way that 2

people adapt and go through the same life event. The first
person I am going to interview in Mrs Prebble and the second
person I am going to interview is Mrs Thompson ; life event I
am going to write about is marriage. This assignment is going
to include how it effected them in their PIES and if it was
positively or negatively. It will also include which support they
were given and which problems they had to face.

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Sitarah Qumi. - Component 1 Human Lifespan and Development – LAB Investigate how individuals
deal with life events

Mrs Prebble.

How old were you when you reached this life event and did you see this as a positive or
negative event ; what do you see it as now, why?

She was 17 when she went through her first marriage and 42 in her second marriage and
right now she is in middle adulthood. At the time it was positive life event when she was
married first and got married again at 42. It had a positive impact on her most of the time
and her first marriage was hard and broke down as her husband was harsh and too
controlling but her second one is successful as her husband is very supportive as helps her.

Did this life event effect your PIES in a negative or positive way?

This life event effected her positively ( emotional and social) after 20 years it turned
negative and effected her intellectually as her husband came out to be very controlling . Her
second marriage was much better as her 2nd husband is helping her self esteem and
effecting her PIES positively.

Did you have to change yourself to adapt to this life event?

She had to change herself for her first marriage and took a lot of giving and taking and lots
of partnership as she wasn’t quite ready for this. Her second marriage was a positive one as
she has a good relationship and never argue. May not have as many social friends as she
does more things as a couple with her husband than with her friends.

How did you feel after this life event passed?

After her first marriage she was relieved as it ended but it didn’t put her down to get
married again as her second husband is very supportive and helps her and she has learnt not
to marry someone when you don’t fully know them yet.

Which type of support did you receive and how did the life event impact your life ?

Her mum was supportive and helped her get married both times and her sister and children
helped her in a positive way. She got married in a church for her first marriage and her
second marriage was in Cuba and she received support from her new husband.It has had a
positive impact on her life as she has learnt mistakes from previous relationship and has
understood more about her own needs a and her ability to do things. She learnt that not all
men are the same and you need to have a number of different relationships to take the
right person.

Would you describe it as an expected or unexpected life event and why?

It was expected as all her family was married and at the time it was a social norm to get
married however 17 was very young and not the right age to face such a big thing and her
2nd one was expected as she was supported by her family and then all went well.

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Sitarah Qumi. - Component 1 Human Lifespan and Development – LAB Investigate how individuals
deal with life events

Mrs Thompson

How old were you when you reached this life event and did you see this as a positive or
negative event ; what do you see it as now, why?

She was 26 years old and in her early adulthood. She had a qualified job as a teacher. At that
rate it was a good thing as she thought she was prepared on having children and getting
married as she was handling children at school but when she went through it, she had a
more full schedule. She is still married and is still in early adulthood but near the end of it.

Did this life event effect your PIES in a negative and positive way?

At first it had a positive impact as she was more aware of her PIES and made sure she was
healthy in an emotional, physical and intellectual way however her social development went
down a little as she was spending more time with her husband and not as much with her
friends making them distant.

Did you have to change yourself to adapt to this life event?

She had to change a couple of things but they weren’t so big after she got used to it
eventually. These things were like getting used to being with someone and helping each
other out like with chores. However, her husband had to get used to it more as they had
made a schedule together on when they meet after they finish their jobs. Mrs Thompson
also included that the biggest thing she had to adapt to was trust as now they shared their
private life and had to trust each other a lot so they know that they are both loyal to one
another.

How did you feel after this life event passed?

She understood what it is, how important it is and how your marriage can impact other
people’s lives without noticing. This is because if her marriage had went negatively the first
time it could have impacted the children in her class as when enter the class they may feel
like they can’t become successful due to the negativity being set of from the teacher.

Which type of support did you receive and how did the life event impact your life?

She had gained support from her friends but most of the support was from her family and
school colleagues and the children she was teaching. This life event had a positive impact on
her life as she understood more about the development of children and was able to give
advice to the children’s parents who were going through this life event and how they can
change themselves to help their children through their PIES development as well.

Would you describe this as an expected or unexpected life event and why?

She had thought of this as an unexpected life event because of the way that her future
career had influenced on her making her think that she was in no need to get married and
she can be an independent woman instead.

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Sitarah Qumi. - Component 1 Human Lifespan and Development – LAB Investigate how individuals
deal with life events

Mrs Prebble

Her physical development through this life event was effected at first positively as she was
playing netball at that time but eventually turned negatively as she stopped and started to
gained weight as she felt comforted at home causing her to do less exercise and this could
also increase the chance of someone becoming obese. However, she later on became
pregnant making her move around more so she could be in a healthy lifestyle for the benefit
and safety of the baby and herself. The physical development of her second marriage was
not effected however after her pregnancies she was starting to gain a little bit more weight
as she had stopped playing netball causing her exercising

The intellectual development on her first marriage started positive as they both accepted
each other making her feel safe however, over the years her husband had become more
controlling and changing her daily activities. This affected her negatively as she was
eventually at the point that she was chased with a knife. This must have given her fear
destroying her sense of safety and making her wonder how he had changed into such a
person. When she divorced she went and got married again and now she is with someone
who isn’t threatening and controlling (helping her positively) which is now helping her
intellectual development and she learnt that all men are different and you need to know
them properly to get married before one of them.

The emotional development over the event of marriage was starting positive as she was
happy to be with someone and she felt safe with but over the years she developed fear
against her husband making it negative as her husband was becoming really controlling and
started changing her schedule and stopping her from going to certain places. When her
husband chased her with a knife she was terrified and regretted marrying the man and so
she got a divorce. She still wanted to marry and was supported by her mother and children
causing her to be encouraged to think positive about this life event. When she married
again, she was positive as her husband is helpful and accepted her the way she is and didn’t
make her have to change herself. This helped her gain her happiness and feel confident
again about her life choices.

The social development of Mrs Prebble was positive in her first marriage however she was
becoming more distant to everyone due to her husband’s controlling her schedule and
stopping her from going out. She was still communicated with her family through her phone
but she was meeting them less often in a physical way like going to their house. When they
eventually divorced her relationship with her friends and family had come back to usual. Her
mother and children had given her informal support from her family to get married again
which can also fall into advice. This encouraged her to remarry and when she did her social
support was effected negatively but only a little as she still talked to her friends and family
but also stayed more with her husband which made her feel happy.

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Sitarah Qumi. - Component 1 Human Lifespan and Development – LAB Investigate how individuals
deal with life events

Mrs Thompson

Her physical development before marriage she was was positive and healthy as she was a
teacher and she had to drive to school. This caused her to move around more as she had to
help her students and teach the students that even moving around is being healthy.
However, when she got married her husband had a job near her workplace as well so they
moved into the new area. This was both positive and negative as it caused her to do less
exercise so she gained a little bit weight which was not noticeable however it also improved
her gross motor skills.

Intellectually, her development was negative and then positive as before the marriage she
thought of herself of an independent woman as she didn’t want to be dependent on
someone throughout her whole entire life. However, later on when she went through this
life event, she had changed her mind as she realised getting married involved trust and you
didn’t need to depend on someone. This helped loosen her stress as she realised not all
marriages were the same and they didn’t have the same outcome. At this point she had felt
positive as she noticed that everyone goes through life events differently as they all have
different perspectives.

Emotionally, when she was not married she thought of herself as an independent person
and felt positive about it and when she was thinking of getting married she didn’t like it. Her
friends and family recommended that she should get married but she thought that marriage
would make her a weak person and not being able to make her own decisions anymore.
However when she went through it she was still independent but had to develop trust in her
husband. This caused her to become happy that she went through the life event with this
person.

Her social development before this life event was mostly positive and continued that way
because before this life event she communicated with her friends and family regularly and
when she got married she continued with her regular communication however it had
become a little less reasons due to her spending time with her husband. Her job was not
effected by her life event as her relationships didn’t change as she was at her workplace
most of the time unless she got sick. However, her relationship between her aunt and uncle
had become a quite distant due to her moving house as before she lived close and had
developed a close relationship which effected her negatively.

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Sitarah Qumi. - Component 1 Human Lifespan and Development – LAB Investigate how individuals
deal with life events

Comparisons - How well Mrs Prebble and Mrs Thompson adapted to marriage.

Both Mrs Prebble and Mrs Thompson have both successfully done well during marriage,
they had went through the same life event in different life stages. They also had some
similarities between them in the positive side like overcoming their previous opinions or
thoughts but they also had some negatives like the negative thoughts of men’s actions
towards them in the future like being controlled or restricted from certain things due to the
man’s thoughts on the relationship and how it must progress.

Mrs Prebble

Mrs Prebble continued her life event and ended up with a positive marriage when she
overcame her first marriage due to the negative actions her husband was doing. She was
able to adapt to this life event by ignoring the negative concepts of others and caring more
for the positives of her marriage like spending time with each other or travelling (being
happy) instead of worrying how their work may interfere with their relationship as trust was
a very big thing that she wasn’t used to especially after her first experience which helped
her develop emotionally. However she still couldn’t overcome some negative thoughts of
what her future may become and if the past will repeat itself leading her to divorce but on
the other hand it caused her to have a more healthy and stable relationship which can
impact positively on her mental health helping her develop intellectually. Her social
development stayed constant due to her playing netball before and after the life event
showing that she has the same freedom and that the roles that she plays as a wife isn’t now
effecting her relationships with anyone.

Mrs Thompson

Mrs Thompson’s thoughts almost overcame her decision for her life event due to her point
of view of the situation making her think that she will turn into weak and fragile person
stuck in her husband’s responsibilities. However, she overcame and adapted to everything
from the informal support received from family and friends as they persuaded her that the
life event will end up positive which is a similarity between both of them as Mrs Prebble’s
family also encouraged her to continue and get married again. Unlike Mrs Prebble, she knew
how to trust others which made her relationship form much easier and quicker. Her
constant thought on men having a negative effect on her changed making her adapt and
notice that she was emotionally becoming happy causing her to become less fearful and
regretting which was giving her a positive mental health status.

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Sitarah Qumi. - Component 1 Human Lifespan and Development – LAB Investigate how individuals
deal with life events

Conclusion- how they adapted to life events and the value of the types of
support given to them.

Overall Mrs Prebble has adapted well to marriage as she didn’t seem to have any problems
after her second husband and was able to cope with other people’s thoughts on her and life
event choices. She learned how to minimise the effect on her due to the assistance she was
receiving from her family and friends (informal support) and their opinions on her situation
was causing her to improve socially and build up her relationship and strengthen it. The
types of support that she was receiving were emotional support and advice/information.
The emotional support was informal as it was received by family and friends to boost her
confidence to get married again even though she had a bad experience through her first
marriage. The advice/information was also informal support proving that her family and
friends played a big part in her life event and her future choices showing that she has
developed a strong way for trust causing her stress levels to decrease majorly. I personally
think that they had played a big part due to knowing her the most and understanding how
she would feel in the situations.

Overall Mrs Thompson also adapted well to marriage when she learned how to face some
challenges and figure out the solutions like staying in contact with all her family members to
keep her relationship with them constant and strong. She noticed that she can change her
opinions and that they don’t have to stay the same making it intellectual development in a
positive way. Through this life event she also had emotional and advice/informational
support. The emotional support was given through her family and friends making it informal
as they helped her change her opinion on men and that they are all different. The
advice/informational support was also informal as it was also received from family and
friends as they persuaded her and gave her advice on what she should do in the future
which helped her make her opinion for going through the life event of marriage however ,
when she was going through this life event she felt very under pressure as she had
expectations that she had to reach but she was able to get over it by realising that they
were goals and not expectations. Most of the support was informal as her family and friends
reassured her and helped her go through this life event making their relationship stronger
increasing their trust in each other.

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