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© Accepted 2020
Contents

What is Accepted? 3

Why Our Clients Love Us 4

The Background Essay 5

The Goals Essay 7

The Guitarist 9

Don’t Write Like This! 11

Sample Essay from an Admitted HBS Student 13

Sample Essay from Admitted HBS Student: The Mechanical Engineer 17

Executive MBA Essay 20

Epilogue 22

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What is Accepted?

Accepted is the premier admissions consultancy that offers:

● 1-on-1 consulting for business school admissions

● Expert guidance for all application components ​(​essays​,​ ​resumes​, ​letters of

recommendation​, and​ ​waitlist letters​)

● Interview prep

● Free resources – ​admissions guides​,​ ​articles​, and a​ ​podcast

● The Accepted Admissions Blog

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Why Our Clients Love Us
No matter where you live and no matter where you're applying, our expert admissions
consultants are ready to listen, mentor, and guide you as you prepare an outstanding med
school application that will get you accepted. You'll love us because you'll see from the first
phone call or email that we care about you and support you as you strive to achieve your goals
and dreams.

But you don't need to take our word for it. See what our clients say about Accepted…

"I did find out just over a week ago that I was admitted to HBS! Super exciting news – I
definitely would not have been as successful without your help! Thank you for the
practice and support – it was a pleasure working with you!"

“Just wanted to let you know that I got into Wharton! I am really shocked, and it is still
sinking in.”

“Thanks again for all your help. I have been admitted to Booth and am accepting. Your
help and guidance was outstanding and allowed me to focus my energy on presenting
myself in the best light, gaining the result we wished for.”

“Very happy to tell you that I have been accepted to Columbia! Your insight and careful
critiquing of my essays truly did the trick!”

“I was accepted at Kellogg and Yale!!! Super excited!!!! I am very happy all the hard
work payed off finally! Thank you so much for being supportive and helpful during the
journey.”

“I was invited to interview with every school that I applied to despite my low GMAT of
only 660. Now the results have started coming out and so far I have been admitted to
Tuck and Fuqua. There is no way I would have been successful without your invaluable
edits and mock interviews.”

Read more feedback on why our clients love Accepted.

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The Background Essay
Everyone was Korean in Seoul. No one was Korean in Prichard. Motorcycles and mopeds
crammed Seoul's roads. Trees and flowers lined Prichard's streets. In cosmopolitan Seoul, I was
a favorite son showered with attention from a large circle of extended family. In suburban
Prichard, knowing no one but my parents, I was the only Asian child in the neighborhood.
Indeed immigrating to the U.S. from Korea and settling down in a suburb of Mobile as a
twelve-year-old child dramatically changed my life. Uprooted from the people I knew and the
things I was used to, I felt lonely, helpless, and uncomfortable in my new surroundings.
However, I redirected the negative feelings into a force of strength that propelled me to excel
in academics. Furthermore, the immigrant experience gave me adaptation skills that helped me
as a foreign exchange student in Japan and as a businessman working with people of different
cultures and backgrounds.

Pampered materially and nurtured emotionally in Seoul, I lived with relatives close by and a
helping hand available whenever I needed it. My school, while stiflingly competitive and
committed to regular doses of corporal punishment, presented a system which I understood
and was familiar with. Although the neighborhood lacked open areas, it was a close-knit
community where children addressed the lady next door as "aunt" and housewives frequently
shared recipes. I was completely at home, ethnically, linguistically, and in every other respect.

My new life in Prichard contrasted sharply with my old one in Seoul. The neighborhood, while
serene, lacked the extended support network of friends and family I had back home. School
frustrated and demoralized me because I had learned only the first fourteen letters of the
English alphabet and a few basic words before our arrival. After a fourteen-hour workday in the
family restaurant, my exhausted parents were unable to help me. Further compounding my
difficulties, I experienced racial bigotry for the first time in my life. Ethnic slurs and insults,
which I managed to understand with rapidity, made me painfully aware I was different from
others.

In the face of these obstacles, I started to question the purpose behind immigrating to the U.S.
Seeing my parents' exhausted silhouettes seven times a week, I began to understand the
motivation behind the move that forever altered my life: a chance at a brighter future in the
U.S. Because no one could help us, we had to help ourselves. Armed with this reinvigorating
realization, I began to hoist myself out of loneliness, helplessness, and discomfort.

Since my school did not offer remedial English classes for immigrant students, I began studying
with only the help of an English-Korean dictionary. Although I was focused and determined,
streams of below average grades accompanied my first year in school. Nonetheless, by
expending two to three times the effort of others, I started to notice signs of improvement. A
well-timed vote of confidence came from my seventh-grade reading instructor, Mr. John Smith.
In his class, the highest possible grade — a B — was given to only one student per school year.

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Aiming for that coveted prize, I managed to improve my grades from a D in the first semester to
the B in the final semester. At the year-end award ceremony, Mr. Smith specifically
commended my achievement in front of the student body. While I received many other
academic accolades in later years, no one validated my efforts and boosted my self-confidence
more than that short yet significant praise.

Although it has been fourteen years since I arrived in Prichard, the immigrant experience has
strengthened my character in ways that will be professionally and socially beneficial for years to
come. As an immigrant child, I learned how to transition from one culture to another. This skill
helped me when I had to make that transition again as a foreign exchange student in Japan.
Additionally, having experienced the degradation of ethnic bigotry, I have learned to be
sensitive toward different people and cultures.

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The Goals Essay
It is critical in the goals essay found in almost every MBA application to show that you have
clear direction and purpose based on experience and planning. Business school is not another
opportunity to "find yourself."

8:00 AM. July 1, 2030. The 23rd floor of the Bank of China Tower in Hong Kong. A woman sitting
behind the mahogany desk calls a Shanghai trader to buy 200,000 shares of Alibaba stock.
Moments later, she dashes into a video conference with Tokyo analysts. When the conference
finally concludes two hours later, the woman rushes down the stairs, hails a taxi to the Hong
Kong International Airport, catches a flight to Thailand, and ends her day with a meeting with
the CFO of Asus Computers.

I look forward to maintaining this busy schedule as a portfolio manager of an international

equity fund about ten years after obtaining my MBA. The Top School academic experience can
build on my public accounting training and my multi-cultural and multi-lingual background to
prepare me for work first as an equity analyst in the mutual fund industry and ultimately as a
portfolio manager specializing in Asian Pacific equities.

As a CPA and staff accountant with Big 4 for the past two and a half years, I have developed a
solid foundation in teamwork, analytical, and problem-solving skills. As a bilingual associate of
the Asia-Pacific Business Group, I specialize in auditing the financial statements of in-bound
Asian businesses. However, while Big 4 provides expansive career opportunities in public
accounting, I have reached a plateau in developing the analytical and management skills
necessary to achieve my ultimate career goal of money management. In public accounting, we
measure and examine financial transactions of the past. In contrast, money managers examine
the current attributes of securities and attempt to predict their future performance to
maximize return for investors. I crave that forward focus and challenge.

Furthermore, an effective manager in the 21st century must be well-versed in international

business transactions. Although I have utilized my Chinese language skills in servicing our Asian
clients and engaged in comparative technical analysis of U.S. GAAP and French, Taiwanese, and
Japanese financial reporting requirements, my exposure to and knowledge of broader
transactional issues such as international transfer pricing has been limited. Finally, as our audits
focus mainly on the clients' compliance with U.S. GAAP and foreign accounting and reporting
requirements, they provide deep dives and narrow windows; I want to learn about the "big
picture" of international business.

A background in financial reporting and servicing Asia-Pacific business clients. The ability to
converse fluently in Chinese. An understanding of Chinese, Japanese, and American cultures. I
will bring these qualities to the Top School program and ultimately to my career in international
investment management. As a first step toward achieving my career goals, I have registered to

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take level one of the CFA examination in June 201X and plan to complete the entire
examination series upon graduation from Top Ten. Armed with the CFA certification and Top
School's international bent, strength in finance and management training, I will be ready to
place that call to the trader in China, conduct the videoconference with Tokyo, and visit the CFO
in Thailand.

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The Guitarist
This applicant puts his youthful academic difficulties in a context of developing determination,
discipline, success, and breadth.

The lights dimmed; the crowd began to hush. As I walked onto the stage, I saw that the club
was packed with people. The butterflies in my stomach awoke and began fluttering about, and I
felt the urge to turn and run off. In a dreamlike trance, I picked up my bass guitar and strapped
it around my neck. A spotlight cut through the darkness and focused upon the stage, blinding
me momentarily. I heard the drummer begin a four count. Suddenly the club came alive, and
resounding music filled the Whisky-A-Go-Go, where twenty-five years earlier, The Doors had
begun their musical career. An exhilarating sense of humility and wonder came over me as I
thought, "How did I get here?"

My career as a bass guitarist in a rock and roll band has had the greatest impact on my life.
Playing in a band was important to me because it represented a challenge: transcending the
familiar confines of my life and entering completely unknown territory. I wanted to meet
people from different backgrounds and go to places that I might never have gone otherwise.
The dark, mysterious atmosphere of a Hollywood night club was a far cry from the neat and tidy
math and engineering classrooms I had been accustomed to.

A year and a half before our appearance at the Whisky-A-Go-Go, bass guitar was about as
familiar to me as Swahili. When I started playing, it was hard for me to believe that I would ever
play for anyone outside of a garage, much less at a world-famous Hollywood club. I began
playing bass at the age of twenty, with only a rudimentary knowledge of music theory. My only
experience playing any kind of musical instrument was limited to two years of piano and one
year of violin during elementary school. When some of my friends formed their band, they
convinced me that I would make a fine bass player. (I believe their assessment was based more
on our friendship than on any real evaluation of my musical ability.) I consented, and we started
our first band.

We rehearsed in a friend's garage. Learning to play an instrument was difficult; learning to play
an instrument while learning how to play with a band was a test of sheer endurance and
willpower. However, through persistence, patience, and constant, never-ending practice, my
playing ability developed rapidly. We would practice three to four nights a week as a band, and
I would practice at least six nights a week individually for several hours. We played mostly
original music -- a creative challenge that required a great deal of teamwork and interaction.

My participation in "Hipbone" is an example of my determination to be well-rounded and to

improve myself continually in different areas: academics, the arts, and athletics. During college,
I took classes in math, economics and computers alongside classes in theater arts and English.
Prior to playing in a band, I had had only modest academic success. I initially entered college as

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an electrical engineering major, but soon discovered I did not enjoy the heavy emphasis on
science.

As a result, I was unmotivated, disillusioned, and found it hard to concentrate on any of my

studies. I was reluctant to change majors for a long time because, being an extremely persistent
person, I did not want to feel as though I had given up. At the beginning of my junior year, I
finally changed majors and coincidentally began playing bass. The end result of these two
changes reemphasized the importance of having a well-balanced life and pursuing activities
that I enjoy. My grades developed a steady upward rhythm, averaging 3.5 for my last two years.

The band progressed and began to play for live audiences. My first experience on stage was
nothing short of terrifying. Afterwards, people told me that our performance might have been
better had we not looked so much like frightened little children. Fortunately, we began to play
for others more frequently and with greater success, and actually began to entertain our
audiences as we became more confident in ourselves. As our successes grew, we began to
regard our music more seriously and played at literally all the major Hollywood clubs (The Roxy,
the Whisky-AGo-Go, Gazarri's, The Troubadour) and received airplay on several local radio
stations. The pinnacle of our career was headlining at Gazarri's for a crowd of over 300 people.

Unfortunately, we did not have a long-term plan in mind and the excitement of performing
began to wear off. We had succeeded in drawing and entertaining fans, but not in attracting
offers from any major record labels. Problems and arguments began to surface, and one of our
players left the band. Eventually lingering conflicts broke us apart. We went our separate ways,
yet still remained friends.

My experiences in "Hipbone" stressed to me the importance of doing things I enjoy and having
a balanced life. I hope to realize these lessons at Top 10 B-School while acquiring a
well-rounded business education balanced by extracurricular activities and personal
development. Playing bass taught me to believe in myself and my ability at a time when my
academic record was suffering. Going from complete ignorance of bass guitar to successfully
performing for paying audiences in well-known clubs in the span of a year and a half has given
me the confidence and knowledge that I can succeed in anything to which I choose to dedicate
myself, including obtaining a business education and ultimately running my own business. My
GMAT of 700 indicates I have the raw ability to succeed at business school. I look forward to
using the creativity and tenacity I demonstrated in my rock and roll career to meet new
challenges at the graduate level and later in my career in marketing, consulting, and
entrepreneurship.

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Don’t Write Like This!
This writer spends enormous amount of time and space saying very little.

I retain information best when I have to apply that knowledge to actual situations. The type of
environment that Top School promotes fits the mold of my optimal learning environment. The
breadth of knowledge gained from the case method will provide me with an understanding and
background of many industries in addition to improving my verbal presentation skills. The daily
exposure to the expertise of other MBA’s will help me improve my relative weaknesses through
case study groups. I am highly optimistic about the program because of the strength and
diversity of the student body.

I was fortunate enough this past summer to speak candidly with a local Top School alum who
shared with me his experience in the program. Although he focused on a different area of
management than I intend to, we shared a similar perspective on the MBA experience. It was
refreshing to speak with someone who was deeply involved in the Top School curriculum who
wholeheartedly endorsed the program to me based on my background, expectations of the
graduate business school experience, and career goals. Like him, I don’t want to be pigeonholed
into a narrowly focused technical management career as I am now. Although, I am responsible
for the productivity and safety of 100-150 people on large commercial construction projects,
which is very fulfilling, my duties are still quite narrow in scope. I want to move into
management which may not happen on my current path. Top School will give me the breadth
of knowledge that I need to be successful as a manager. The "inside" information I’ve acquired
from students and alumni enhances my confidence that the program will provide the elements
that I consider essential to a successful and well rounded MBA experience.

I want a degree that is both universally respected and one that allows me flexibility and control
in choosing my career path. I am not seeking a finance degree despite the obvious strength of
Top School’s finance faculty, although that will be my concentration. Rather, I want a general
management MBA with a concentration in finance. I plan to use finance as my path through the
management ranks. One day I may decide to begin my own firm when a marketable idea comes
to me and the timing is correct. Regardless of my ultimate path, the generalist approach will
certainly prepare me to capitalize on opportunities as they present themselves.

I have become very interested in the field of information technology over the past several
years. Doors will open to people like myself as the Internet/PC/software, telecommunication,
and cable television industries converge. I feel extremely optimistic about the prospects in
these markets because of the increasing stream of new products and ideas flowing into the
marketplace. These companies need both financing assistance and management expertise to be
successful. The favorable market conditions and the exponential growth of Internet technology
indicates that this trend will not only continue, but most likely will accelerate. My experience in
making quick changes to adapt to fluid client expectations and general market demands will

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prove invaluable to my success in this field. The four years I’ve spent in the fast paced, client
focused commercial construction industry has prepared me for success in this exciting new
venture.

I feel confident that my individual strengths and experiences will provide me with a good
opportunity for success during and after my time at Top School and will certainly add a unique
perspective to the MBA program that cannot be taught in a classroom. The focus on teamwork,
which draws high praise from your students, will be a tremendous opportunity for me to learn
from and share with the other MBA’s in the program. That contact will result in lasting
friendships and essential contacts when we all begin our post-MBA careers. I am satisfied that
Top School can provide the opportunities to smooth my transition from my current position to
a challenging internship and then into my post-MBA career. The MBA program will not only give
me the skills necessary to move into the management role I seek, but will also provide for
personal growth. The talents I cultivate at Top School will further sharpen the skills I need to be
an excellent manager, and strong leader in the area of information technology. I look forward
to the chance to study in a challenging and competitive setting comparable to the one I have
become used to at the ABC Company.

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Sample Essay from an Admitted HBS Student
This sample essay is from ​The Harbus MBA Essay Guide​ and is reprinted with permission from
Harbus.

The 2014-15 Harvard Business School Essay Question:

You’re applying to Harvard Business School. We can see your resume, academic
transcripts, extracurricular activities, awards, post-MBA career goals, test scores, and
what your recommenders have to say about you. What else would you like us to know
as we consider your candidacy?

Essay 16: The Author

Author’s Background: Finance & Media

Analysis:

The author sets the stage for the remainder of the essay by first presenting a notable
accomplishment of hers and then explicitly illustrating the entrepreneurial drive and diligence
she used to see it through. More importantly, the author’s opening introduces a theme –
storytelling – that is consistently interwoven through different stages of her life. The reader is
lead through the author’s childhood, professional and extracurricular experiences, along with
accomplishments, all the while being reminded of the integral role storytelling has played.
Beyond highlighting her gift, or passion for the art of storytelling, the author goes on to connect
this theme with her future career ambitions, as well as describe how this could also serve the
HBS community.

In 2012, I realized a life ambition – I completed my first novel, all while working full time at [Top
U.S. Investment Bank]. I could not wait to share it with the world and eagerly went in search of
a literary agent. But each agent I contacted declined to represent my novel.

Nevertheless, I was passionate about my work and was determined to put it into readers’
hands. In true entrepreneurial fashion, I self-published my novel through the digital platforms
Smashwords and Createspace. I worked with a promotional expert to organize a month-long
book tour to promote the book to prominent book bloggers and their readers. The result? My
novel has received multiple 5-star reader reviews, from Amazon to Goodreads, and was a
semifinalist for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award.

Storytelling is my lifelong passion; it saw me through a difficult childhood. After my father left,
my mother raised me as a single parent in [U.S. City/State], a rural Bible Belt town two hours
south of [U.S. State]. We did not have much money and that coupled with my bookishness

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made me a target for bullies. Books and writing were an escape; they gave me an avenue to
articulate the feelings of abandonment and powerlessness I otherwise did not want to express.
Writing made me happy and the more I wrote, the more my talent blossomed. I began to win
awards and my work was published in youth literary journals. These experiences made me
more confident, a key part of my success later in life. It all started with a pen, a notebook, and
my imagination.

Stories are an integral part of the human experience. They uplift and inspire, give us permission
to dream and to visualize what could be. Storytelling has been an integral part of my career,
from building financial models at [Top U.S. Investment Bank] that illustrated my expectations
for the companies that I covered to delivering a presentation to [International Daily
Newspaper]’s chief revenue officer explaining why reducing ad prices for tender house
advertisers would not lead to an increase in revenue.

My passion has also informed my growth as a leader; I believe my most impactful expressions
of leadership have been my efforts to help others write the narratives of their own lives and
careers. At [Top U.S. Investment Bank], I created an informal mentorship program for female
and minority interns and first-year analysts in the research division and led a “soft skills” class
to help new analysts handle difficult interpersonal situations. For four years, I’ve mentored a
young Hispanic woman through Student Sponsor Partners, a nonprofit that gives low-income
students scholarships to private high schools. Being a mentor gave me the privilege of guiding
another first generation college student along what I know can be a lonely, difficult path. This
fall, she started college with a full scholarship.

Storytelling will be a part of my future career path; as an MBA graduate, my goal is to obtain a
position in strategy and business development at an entertainment company that specializes in
film or television. Long term, I want to start a multimedia and merchandising company with a
publishing arm (books and magazines) as well as film, TV, and digital operations. Using strong,
fictional heroines and informative lifestyle content, my company’s goal will be to educate and
inspire women to become their best selves. My particular focus is creating compelling,
multidimensional characters to inspire young women of color, who are constantly bombarded
by negative images of women who look like them in media.

I’m pursuing a Harvard MBA because I want to become a better business strategist and strong
general manager. Also, I want to further develop my leadership and presentation skills as I will
manage professionals on the content and business side; it will be my task to unite them behind
a shared strategic vision. Specifically, I want to learn how to motivate teams and individuals to
perform at their highest level, and to become more adept at persuasion and generating
“buy-in” from others. Harvard’s unique approach using the case method and emphasis on
leadership development will challenge me to grow in both these areas. I also feel that I have
much to contribute to Harvard’s community. My varied background in finance and media has
given me a unique perspective that will be valuable in classroom discussions and team projects.
I want to share my passion for the entertainment industry with my classmates by chairing the
Entertainment & Media club and planning conferences, career treks, and other opportunities.

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My background gives me the capacity for fearless thinking that is needed to meet the
challenges of the entertainment industry’s shifting landscape. A Harvard MBA will strengthen
that foundation and help me to become the kind of dynamic leader who can bring the vision for
my own company to life and be at the forefront of entertainment’s structural shift.

Time & Effort: “It was about 6 or 7 drafts. Not sure on the hours.”

Word Count: 805

This sample essay is from ​The Harbus MBA Essay Guide​ and is reprinted with permission from
Harbus.​ We highly recommend the book!

If you would like advice on responding to this year’s HBS essay question, (which is different
from the 2014-15 prompt) ​please read our Harvard Business School essay tips​.

Linda’s Comments:

I would hate for any of you to read this essay or any of the other essays in The Essay Guide,
which I recommend, and think “I’m going to tell a story just like this one!” Bad idea. Wrong
response.

The one take-away from this essay and the other successful essays in this book is that the
reader feels a little like s/he is meeting the author – not someone else and not some masked
being. Individuality is the common thread in those essays; it isn’t brilliant prose or incredible
writing. It’s authenticity and humanity. And yes, the authors are accomplished too.

You want your readers to feel like that they are meeting you — not someone else, not a
scripted piece of shallow PR devoid of personality and humanity, and not some phony combo of
you and the author of an essay in a guidebook or on a website. They really and truly want to
meet you!

So think about your story. And if you are reading this in the 2015-16 application cycle when the
question asks you to introduce yourself to your section mates, what would you like your peers
to know about you? Yes I know, the admissions readers are eavesdropping, but don’t let that
fact intimidate you. What would you really tell your peers, classmates, and future friends?
What part of your story would you share?

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Sample Essay from Admitted HBS Student: The
Mechanical Engineer
This sample essay is from The Harbus MBA Essay Guide Summer 2016 Edition and is reprinted
with permission from Harbus.

Author’s Home Country: United States of America

Author’s Previous Industry/Profession: Operations consulting, operations management
Author Gender: Male

Analysis:

The author focuses his essay on two themes – his professional experience as an operations
consultant and an experience which motivated him to go for an MBA. Through the essay, the
author is able to highlight his professional skills, achievement as well as give a clear picture of
his longterm career plans and his reasons for doing an MBA.

I’m [APPLICANT’S FIRST NAME] and I have journeyed here from the hallowed grounds of
[APPLICANT’S U.S. NEW ENGLAND HOMETOWN], where I spent my formative years amid wild
dreams of achieving greatness by setting world records and winning the Olympics. As I’ve hung
up my [OLYMPIC SPORT’S TRADITIONAL SHOES] in favor of business shoes, those dreams have
evolved into a desire to achieve greatness in a different arena. Today, my dream centers on
helping companies leverage technology to propel their operations into the future, providing
unparalleled customer service and delivery, with an operational efficiency to match.

I graduated with a BS in Mechanical Engineering in [GRADUATION YEAR] and spent my first 3

years out of college working as an operations consultant. It was my job to walk into a
manufacturing plant and drive significant operational change – for example, I once spent 3
months walking the sticky floors of a milk plant in [MID-SIZED U.S. SOUTHEASTERN CITY]
helping plant management boost throughput by 30% in order to take on a new customer. We
accomplished this goal with zero capital spend, a feat many had believed was impossible. In our
projects, the biggest challenge was almost always convincing managers to reach for that extra
tad of unseen opportunity hiding within the operation, because oftentimes it was very difficult
to look beyond the daily struggles that plagued their operations. I worked directly with 5-8
person “rapid results teams,” coaching them on how to think about operational improvement,
motivating them to sprint towards it, and leading them through the analysis required to capture
it. I left those milk, water and oil sands plants with many enduring friendships and inspiring
operational victories borne from our journey from ambitious goals to concrete results.

I’ve spent the past two years working in supply chain management at a private industrial goods
supplier. I chose direct management because I wanted to drive these same inspirational
improvements in an operation I owned. My role was to manage and improve the operation,

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and through my experience, I learned the nuts and bolts of the supply chain industry. However,
my dream of innovating supply chain operations pushed me to consider transitioning to an
organization with an ambitious, transformative purpose. In fact, last year I had a unique
opportunity to reflect on what type of impact matters to me. This opportunity was my first ever
trip to [NORTHWEST AFRICAN REGION], the place of my family’s origin.

On the second day of the trip, I journeyed to [LOCAL NORTHEASTERN AFRICAN TOWN], a small
town nestled next an enormous active volcano that is surrounded by a wide expanse of rich
volcanic soil, which is used to make wine. This wine is sipped by adventure-seeking tourists
relaxing after a long day on the volcano, and thus the town’s two major industries, wine and
tourism, are sustained. When we arrived at the town, I was shocked to see it buried by an
avalanche of volcanic rock from an eruption [A FEW YEARS PRIOR]. As our guide lamented on
the dreary prospects of the Page 2 of 2 town, I was amazed to see just how important these
two industries had been to its development.

Through this real world example, I was able to clearly visualize the impact businesses can have
on their broader environment, an understanding that had not been as evident to me while
working in the larger, more complex American economy. For example, I had spent hours
walking among the dilapidated buildings speckling the warehouse district in Cleveland, but only
after my trip did I connect them to the decline of the Midwestern manufacturing industry.
Upon my return, armed with this broader perspective, I decided my next step would be to
attend business school. There I would gain the technical, operational and leadership skills to
make my transition to an organization whose goal was to drive change in its broader industry
and community, as those wine and tourism companies had done in [LOCAL NORTHEASTERN
AFRICAN TOWN OF FAMILY’S ORIGIN].

So, that is how I arrived in front of you today. My goal is to humbly learn as much as I can from
our section, our professors, and our experiences. I am excited to get to know you, and will
always do my best to support our section intellectually and athletically (we will be the future
section Olympics champions!).

How about yourself?

Word Count: 711

Author’s Comments:

While the initial draft of my essay did not take more than an hour or two, it was the revision
process that I spent a significant amount of time on. I think the most important part of the
essay writing process is to ensure that your story and personality come through – and this is
perhaps the most difficult part! To help with this, I had individuals who were not as familiar
with my story and why I wanted to go to business school provide me with feedback in addition
to those with whom I worked closely.

This sample essay is from ​The Harbus MBA Essay Guide​ and is reprinted with permission from

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Harbus.​ We highly recommend the book!

If you would like advice on responding to this year’s HBS essay question, ​please read our
Harvard Business School essay tips​.

Linda’s Comments:

I chose this essay from the Harbus collection because I know there many engineers applying.
Some — both in and out of their field– think of the profession as boring or common. But this
essay is neither boring nor common. I loved it because the writer comes to life, and his passion
and personality shine through. He doesn’t get bogged down in technicalities, industrial jargon,
or an alphabet soup of acronyms. He tells his story with energy and clarity, from his
perspective, and with a focus on his impact. Now that’s an example you can follow: Tell your
story with energy and clarity, from your perspective, and with a focus on your impact.

I realize that you are responding to a different question than the author did. Still, the goal is the
same. You want your readers to feel like that they are meeting you — not someone else, not a
scripted piece of shallow spin devoid of individuality and humanity, and not some phony combo
of you and the author of an essay in a guidebook or on a website. They really and truly want to
meet YOU!

So think about your story and perspective. What would you like the admissions committee to
know about you that they won’t know from the rest of your application?

© 2020 18 www.accepted.com
Executive MBA Essay

The MIT Executive MBA Students and Community are: Open, Collaborative and Inventive.
Please tell us why you are pursuing the MIT Executive MBA, and what you will contribute to
your classmates and the community at MIT. Include examples of success working with
organizations, groups, and individuals. For those reapplying, please highlight developments
since your last submission.

As a founder, board director, and executive officer of a growth-stage technology company, I

bring a unique set of experiences and a need for an innovative, transformative education that I
can apply to my business immediately.

As an executive with both immediate challenges and wide organizational influence, I am

particularly drawn to the action learning philosophy of the Sloan program. I am eager to
transform my own mind and create immediate positive impact across my organization. I am
inspired by the experiences of current students who implement their new learnings when they
return to the office on Mondays. I am eager to do exactly that. My business is significantly more
complex today than it was in the beginning when we provided a simple set of tools to small
teams. Today, we are a multinational organization that provides tools and training to large
enterprises seeking to implement Lean transformations of sophisticated processes in IT
operations and multiple other industries. Throughout this journey, I have constantly challenged
myself and my organization to learn, grow, and change. I seek to participate in this program as
another step in my personal commitment to learning and adapting to the needs of the future.
Now is the moment of maximum impact, whereby my organization and customers will be most
receptive to, and benefit the most from, lessons and experiments that I intend to bring back
and implement.

As a shareholder that has negotiated a significant amount of angel and institutional investment,
I am keenly aware that my investors seek a positive return on their investment. I seek to
prepare not only for the immediate needs of growth and complexity, but also for the
mid-to-long term opportunities that may accompany that growth, such as a change of control, a
liquidity event, or an opportunity to integrate my teams into a larger vision.
As a community leader, I seek to bring what I learn from the program back home and share it
widely. I aim to broaden my understanding of business practices and theory beyond my focused
experience in tech so that I may maximize the value of what I pass along to the aspiring
entrepreneurs, technologists, and leaders in my community who, with ever increasing
frequency, honor me by seeking my guidance and assistance.

Similarly, I have a strong desire to share my experiences and the details of my company and my
journey with my classmates. I understand how valuable it is to be completely transparent with
a group of peers who are eager to learn and share. I am excited to share my successes and my

© 2020 19 www.accepted.com
failures with them, open my business to their scrutiny, and make my organization available any
time it aids in the learning experience.

© 2020 20 www.accepted.com
Epilogue
You’ve taken the first step towards creating a successful application by exploring our sample
essays.

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Here’s how it works:

1. Explore our admissions consulting & editing services​ and find the option that best suits
your needs.

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3. Shoot us an email letting us know when you’ve been accepted. It makes our day!

Need help figuring out which service is best for you? ​Click here for more guidance​.

© 2020 21 www.accepted.com