A critical analysis for Natalie Gontcharova’s Article

" What You Need to Know about Gender-Neutral Parenting"

Done by

Joyce El Bittar

File Number: 22025

Submitted for:

The course of Advanced Academic English

Dr. Maha Sourani

January, 2024
 In a rapidly evolving societal landscape, discussions around parenting have expanded beyond

traditional norms. The article, "What You Need to Know About Gender-Neutral Parenting,"

published on November 8, 2023, by Nathalie Gontcharova, contributes to this discourse by delving

into the principles and practices of gender-neutral parenting. Nathalie is the senior editor of

lifecycle content at The Bump, where she develops ideas, reports, writes and edits content about

pregnancy and new parenting. She is passionate about providing informative, nonjudgmental

service journalism for people who are navigating pregnancy or those topsy-turvy first months and

years. Her own pregnancy and parenting journey—one with many unexpected twists and turns—has

inspired her to want to help others find advice and solutions that work for them, so they can feel

supported along the way. Natalie earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in international affairs with a

minor in journalism from George Washington University and a Master of Arts in interactive

journalism from American University, both in Washington, DC. She has covered everything from

weddings to politics for publications including The Knot and Refinery29. Her reporting at

Refinery29 took her to the halls of Congress to cover issues that are important to new parents.

Between covering what parents care about and becoming one herself, parenting journalism was the

logical next step. She joined The Bump in 2023 and is excited to draw on her expertise and

experience to develop content that helps all types of parents feel seen and heard (Thebump, 2023).

The content of the article is informed by a growing movement towards inclusivity,

challenging binary perspectives on gender, and fostering open-mindedness in parenting. It addresses

not only the theoretical aspects of gender-neutral parenting but also provides practical tips and

solutions for navigating the challenges that may arise, including external pressures, implicit biases,

and the importance of community support. It also advocates for creating an environment that

supports children in exploring their identities without conforming to societal expectations tied to

gender.

With a focus on celebrating diversity, the article encourages parents to rethink traditional

approaches to child-rearing, valuing each child's unique interests and expressions. By providing
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insights into fostering empathy, creating gender-inclusive spaces, and navigating familial and

societal expectations, the article aims to guide parents on an ongoing journey towards embracing

gender-neutral parenting as a means of nurturing authentic and empowered individuals.

The article suggests using neutral colors when decorating the nursery, avoiding gendered

themes. This approach challenges the conventional idea of associating specific colors with genders.

It recommends using gender-neutral language, including pronouns like "they/them" until the child

expresses a preference, proposing that this practice acknowledges and respects diverse gender

identities.

Additionally, Parents are advised to provide a variety of toys and activities without adhering

to traditional gender stereotypes. This includes letting children explore interests in dolls, trucks,

kitchen sets, building blocks, and various sports or activities.

The article also encourages parents not to choose clothing based on traditional gender

categories ("boy" or "girl"). It suggests exploring gender-neutral baby clothes brands and allowing

children to develop their own color preferences.

Parents are urged to expose their children to diverse stories, media, and role models, including

those representing people of all genders engaging in various activities. The article suggests

LGBTQ+ children's books as a resource.

They are also advised to let their children express their feelings, play in various ways, and

explore different roles without restricting them based on gender expectations.

The article recommends challenging gender stereotypes by responding to gendered

compliments with non-gendered additions. For example, countering "strong like daddy" with "and

strong like mommy too" (Thebump, 2023).

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 While the idea of gender-neutral parenting aims to foster inclusivity and break away from

traditional gender norms, or so as it may seem to people, I cannot but have my own disagreement

toward this idea as it may inadvertently ignore the significance of acknowledging and respecting

inherent biological and psychological differences between genders. This opposing perspective

posits that a nuanced understanding of gender roles can be beneficial in providing children with a

well-rounded and comprehensive worldview, allowing them to navigate the complexities of society

more effectively.

Moreover, research in developmental psychology has consistently demonstrated that there are

inherent dissimilarities in how boys and girls may approach social interactions, learning, and

emotional expression (Lippa, 2010; Hyde, 2014). Ignoring these differences in the pursuit of gender

neutrality may hinder a child's ability to understand and navigate their own identity in a way that

fully acknowledges and embraces their unique attributes. Failing to recognize these distinctions

might deprive children of a comprehensive understanding of themselves and others, potentially

hindering their personal growth and development (Diamond, 2002).

Another concern surrounding gender-neutral parenting is the potential erasure of nuanced

gender roles in socialization. An exclusive focus on neutralizing gender distinctions could lead to a

lack of guidance for children in understanding societal expectations and norms. According to

sociocultural theorists, gender roles play a vital role in shaping individuals' identities and behaviors

within a given society (Bussey & Bandura, 1999; Martin, Ruble, & Szkrybalo, 2002). By embracing

a more nuanced understanding of gender roles, children can be better equipped to navigate social

dynamics, relationships, and expectations, ultimately contributing to a more well-rounded and

adaptable approach to life.

Critics argue that children raised in a gender-neutral environment might experience identity

confusion as they navigate a world that often operates with clear gender distinctions. The concern is

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that, without a traditional framework, children may struggle to understand their own identity in

relation to societal norms.

Children raised in a gender-neutral environment might face external pressures from a society

that is not universally accepting or understanding of this approach. This could lead to feelings of

isolation or difficulty in integrating with peers who may be raised in more traditional settings.

There may be resistance from cultural or religious communities that strongly adhere to

traditional gender roles. Families practicing neutral gender parenting might face challenges in

maintaining cultural continuity or integrating within communities where such practices deviate

from established norms.

Critics also argue that neutral gender parenting might not provide children with sufficient role

models to understand and navigate gender-specific challenges. Exposure to diverse role models can

play a crucial role in helping children form a well-rounded perspective on the complexities of

gender dynamics.

Despite good intentions, there could be unintended consequences of neutral gender parenting

that emerge over time. These might include unforeseen psychological, social, or emotional

challenges that children may face as they grow and enter different phases of life.

Moreover, the religious opinion on gender assignment to parents varies across different faiths

and denominations. Generally, religious perspectives on gender assignment to parents are rooted in

traditional beliefs and cultural values. Many religious doctrines emphasize distinct gender roles and

norms, considering them integral components of moral and spiritual guidance.

From a religious standpoint, the refusal or rejection of gender assignment to parents aligns

with preserving sacred traditions, maintaining cultural continuity, and fostering a sense of identity

and belonging within the faith community. This perspective contends that adhering to established

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gender roles is not only a reflection of religious teachings but also contributes to the transmission of

moral values.

In various religions, the emphasis on specific gender roles is seen as essential for creating a

harmonious and morally grounded society. The resistance to neutral gender parenting within a

religious framework is often grounded in the belief that these gender roles are divinely ordained and

contribute to the overall well-being of individuals and communities.

For example, within certain Christian denominations, there may be a focus on biblical

teachings that outline distinct roles for men and women within the family. Similarly, in other faiths,

such as Islam or Judaism, there are specific guidelines and expectations regarding the roles of

mothers and fathers in raising children.

In summary, the religious opinion on gender assignment to parents is often supportive of

maintaining traditional gender roles and opposes the idea of neutral gender parenting. This

alignment with religious teachings is considered crucial for upholding moral values, preserving

cultural continuity, and fostering a sense of identity within the religious community.

Rejecting gender-neutral parenting carries significance within religious contexts as it aligns

with the traditional beliefs and cultural values embedded in various faiths. Many religious doctrines

emphasize specific gender roles and norms, considering them essential elements of moral and

spiritual guidance. Within a religious framework, the refusal of gender-neutral parenting is regarded

as a way to preserve sacred traditions, maintain cultural continuity, and nurture a sense of identity

and belonging within the religious community. This perspective asserts that adhering to established

gender roles not only mirrors religious teachings but also plays a role in transmitting moral values,

offering children a structure for comprehending their roles within the divine order as dictated by

their faith.

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 References:

1. Lippa, R. A. (2010). Gender differences in personality and interests: When, where, and why?

Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 4(11), 1098–1110.

2. Hyde, J. S. (2014). Gender similarities and differences. Annual Review of Psychology, 65, 373–

398.

3. Diamond, M. (2002). Sex and gender are different: Sexual identity and gender identity are

different. Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 7(3), 320–334.

4. Bussey, K., & Bandura, A. (1999). Social cognitive theory of gender development and

differentiation. Psychological Review, 106(4), 676–713.

5. Martin, C. L., Ruble, D. N., & Szkrybalo, J. (2002). Cognitive theories of early gender

development. Psychological Bulletin, 128(6), 903–933.

6. https://www.thebump.com/author/natalie-gontcharova

7. https://www.thebump.com/a/gender-neutral-parenting