Interpersonal Communication
skills
Main Objectives
• Identify the elements of effective interpersonal
communication.
• Define “Communication”.
• Understand your “Communication style”.
• Identify “Barriers” to effective communication.
• Identify negative examples of non-verbal communication.
• Identify Strategies for dealing with difficult people.
• Identify examples of difficult people.
• Identify difficult coworkers. How poor communication
contributes to a negative workplace.
• Identify the importance of self-evaluation “Tactical thinking”
when dealing with difficult people.
• Define “Active listening”.
Interpersonal Communication
Robert Bolton
• Eighty percent of people who fail at work do so for one reason.
• They do not relate (communicate) well with others.
Communication Defined
• The exchange of: ___________
thoughts ,
messages or _______________;
____________, information
speech ________,
By _________, signals ________,
writing or by
behavior
___________
What is your Communication Style?
Communication Style Self-Assessment
It is important to be aware of your communication style
and also the communication style of those that you
are speaking to.
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Barriers/Roadblocks – What Gets in the
Way
Roadblocks can become strengths if we increase
our awareness of our own tendencies, and
acknowledge their impact on all our interactions
The primary responsibility of
effective interpersonal
communication lies with:
The Communicator/ Sender
_______________________
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Body Language
Understanding Gestures in Context
Examples of Body Language
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Body Language
• Hands on hips
• Known as confrontational
• A non-verbal challenge
Body Language
• Looking away
• Ignoring you
• Looking for escape route
• Preparing to fight or run
Body Language
• Rolling shirt sleeves up
• High stress or anxiety
• Getting ready to fight /start
• Foot direction
• Often indicates where the
person wants to be
One of the hardest to disguise
Difficult People
• Who are they?
• The most difficult person you have to
contend with is ______________
yourself
• Why are people difficult?
_________________________________
angry, upset, having a bad day
5 Ways to Deal with Difficult Co-
Workers
1. Be prepared for conflict(not fight)
2. Do not fuel the fire
3. Lend a helping hand
4. Get a third party involved
5. Move on
Managed Conflict Unmanaged Conflict
• Strengthens relationships and builds • Damages relationships and
teamwork
discourages cooperation
• Encourages open communication and • Results in defensiveness and
cooperative problem solving
hidden agendas
• Quickly resolves disagreements and
increases productivity
• Wastes time, money and human
resources
• Deals with real issues & concentrates
on win-win resolution • Focuses on blaming and fault
finding
Managed Conflict Unmanaged Conflict
• Makes allies and defuses Creates enemies and hard feelings
anger
• Is frustrating, stress-producing
and energy-draining
• Work in a positive supportive
environment • Is often loud, hostile and out
of control
• Is orderly, calm and
focused
Advantages of Conflict
• Conflict presents many positive aspects.
personal
• It can be an opportunity for __________
_________
growth
Remaining Professional Under Pressure
1. Personalize your service
Leave Ego Out
2. Be a L.E.O. (__________________)
3. Treat people with dignity and respect
4. See the other person’s point-of-view
5. Use active listening
6. Give people a way out that looks good
to them
7. Agree, then turn it around
8. Focus on your professional objective;
9. Role model what you want
10. Give before you get
11. Use positive self talk
12. Life is a marathon, not a 100-yard
13. Project professionalism. Use
professional voice and body language
to strengthen credibility
14. Be reasonable and rational
What Are Your Tools?
• You can gain or lose control by your:
verbalization
– _________________
– _______
body _____________
language
• Confrontation vs. cooperation – decide
what you want.
Problems that Inhibit/constrain
Professionalism
• Negative mind set = a bad attitude
• Lacking a positive belief of self
• Failure to take responsibility
• Lack of self-discipline
• Performing less than our best
• No goals
• Failure to be open to learn
• Only seeing our own view
• Being dishonest
• Avoiding Conflict
• Lacking self-confidence
• Lacking self-respect
• Treating others disrespectfully
Active Listening vs. Listening
• Active listening= understanding or
comprehending the intended message.
Speaker feels respected.
• LISTENING = hearing ( when you are distracted or not
interested )
Active Listening
• Gives them what they need and calms
them down because it makes them
respected
feel ___________
• It also empties their angry cup
• Active listening is ______
Hard ______
Work
• You learn a lot
• By listening you __________
motivate them to
listen
• People speak 100-175 words per minute
• We listen at about 300–400 words per
minute
• Here is how your message is received:
– What: _7_% verbal (words you use)
– How:__38_% is your voice (tone, intonation)
– Seen:_55_% is body language
Listening with Purpose
(Mental Discipline)
• Listen to more than words – how does the
person feel
• Listen with your eyes
• What are they saying and how is it said
• Physical Discipline
Speaking:
Projecting Professionalism
• What we say vs. How we say it
• Audience will only get __7_% from
__VERBAL____
• 38% by your TONE OF VOICE
• 55% is what they pick up VISUALLY
• Only _7_% is delivered by words you use.
• __93% by how you say what you say.
Six Steps to Manage Verbal Hostility
Positive _____
1. Use _________ self ______
talk
2. Ignore, deflect insults
3. Use a process comment
4. Use active listening
5. Make an agreement comment
6. State what you need.
How to Maintain Self Control
• Energy, effort and self-discipline
• Strengthen your self-confidence and self-
discipline
• Homework
Use Open-Ended Questions
• Make no suggestions
• Invite witnesses or victims to talk in
their own words
• Act as a memory prompt
• Get people talking
• Encourage full answers
• Help to get accurate information
How To Get Information
• Let the speaker talk 80% of the time
• Use their words when you ask subsequent
questions
• Do not interrupt a statement
• Ask speaker to confirm points
• Use constructive feedback not destructive
• Sandwich tip(c+c+c)
Examples of Powerful Questions
• What can I do for you?
• What do you think the problem is?
• What is your role in this situation?
• What is preventing you from….?
• Tell me more about that?
• Explain to me how you are feeling?
How to Meet and Greet Professionally
1. Set the tone
2. I.D. yourself and your organization
3. State the reason for the contact
4. Their reason for behavior
5. Make request
6. Inform them of your actions
7. Professional close
• THINGS you should take into
consideration
P = Positive
____________ belief in yourself
R = _______________
Responsible for who you are
O = _______
Open to the reality of life
F = _____
Fit for life: mentally, emotionally,
E = Empathy
___________: concern for others
S = Self
_______________:
Confidence build high tolerance
S = Self
__________________
Discipline
I = ______________:
Intelligence maintain expertise
O = On
__________:
Time Good time management
N = ________:
Noble high moral character
A =Assertive
___________: take control
Love
L = _______: yourself, others, your work
Thank you for your attention
Questions, Comments, Concerns
