Assertiveness & Self Confidence Power Point Slides

Corporate Training Materials

 Module One: Learning is not a
spectator sport.

Getting Started D. Blocher

Assertiveness and self-confidence

are comprised of important
interpersonal communications
skills and traits that can be learned
and practiced. This workshop will
provide you with many tips,
techniques, and opportunities to
try out your own skills.
 Workshop Objectives
• Define assertiveness and self-confidence, and list the four styles of communication
• Describe the types of negative thinking, and how one can overcome negative
thoughts
• Explain the difference between listening and hearing, and understand the importance
of body language and questioning skills in communication
• Define the importance of goal setting, and practice setting SMART goals for assertive
behavior
• Utilize methodologies for understanding your worth -- and the use of positive self-talk
• List reasons why a pleasing appearance and body language are critical for creating a
strong first impression
• Practice sending positive communications phrased as “I-Messages”
• Use the STAR model to make your case during a presentation challenge
• Display rapport-building skills through assertive methods of expressing disagreement
and consensus-building techniques
• Practice strategies for gaining positive outcomes in difficult interpersonal situations.
Module Two: What Does Self- Who has
confidence in
Confidence Mean To You? himself will gain
the confidence
of others.
What is Assertiveness? Leib Lazarow

• An assertive person is confident

and direct in dealing with others.
Assertive communications promote
fairness and equality in human
interactions, based on a positive
sense of respect for self and
others.
 What is Self-Confidence?
• Self-confidence is a belief in oneself, one's
abilities, or one's judgment.
• It is freedom from doubt.
• When you believe you can change things -- or
make a difference in a situation, you are much
more likely to succeed.
 The Four Styles
• THE PASSIVE PERSON
• THE AGGRESSIVE PERSON
• THE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSON
• THE ASSERTIVE PERSON
 Module Three: If you can find a
path with no

Obstacles to Our Goals obstacles, it

probably doesn't
lead anywhere.
Frank A. Clark
Types of Negative Thinking:
Overgeneralization
Global labelling
Filtering
Polarized thinking
Self-blame
Personalization
Mind reading
Control fallacies
Emotional reasoning
 Module Four: The one who
listens does the

Communication Skills most work, not

the one who
speaks.
Stephen R.
Covey
Strong communication skills are
essential for assertive interaction
with others. In this module we will
cover listening skills, how to ask
great question and body language
 Listening and Hearing; They
Aren’t the Same Thing
THE OCCASION FOR THE MESSAGE.
THE LENGTH OF THE MESSAGE
THE WORDS CHOSEN
THE VOLUME AND PACE
THE PAUSES AND HESITATIONS
NON-VERBAL CLUES
 Asking Questions
• OPEN QUESTIONS: Open questions stimulate
thinking and discussion or responses including
opinions or feelings.
• CLARIFYING QUESTIONS: A clarifying question helps
to remove ambiguity, elicits additional detail, and
guides the answer to a question.
• CLOSED QUESTIONS: Closed questions usually
require a one-word answer, and effectively shut off
discussion.
 Body Language
• Body language is a form of non-verbal
communication involving the use of stylized
gestures, postures, and physiologic signs
which act as cues to other people.
 Module Five: The Without goals,
and plans to
Importance of Goal Setting reach them, you
are like a ship
that has set sail
with no
destination.
Goal setting is the process that Fitzhugh Dodson
allows you to analyze and
determine what you do. Goal
setting helps you feel strong -- and
in control.
Why Goal Setting is Important

The process of setting goals helps to provide a

clear picture of your wants and needs so you
can chart your own life destiny.
 Setting SMART Goals
• SPECIFIC
• MEASURABLE
• ACHIEVABLE
• RELEVANT
• TIMED
Goals should also include the three P’s: POSITIVE,
PERSONAL, POSSIBLE
 Module Six: When you engage
in systematic,

Feeling the Part

purposeful action,
using and
stretching your
abilities to the
maximum, you
Identifying Your Worth: cannot help but
feel positive and
• Worth is defined as “sufficiently confident about
yourself.
good, important or interesting to Brian Tracy

justify a specified action”. People

with a sense of self worth exude
confidence in themselves.
 Creating Positive Self-Talk
• Use the present tense; deal with what exists today.
• Be positive – rather than affirming what you don’t want.
• Remain personal; self-talk must relate to you and you
only.
• Keep sentences short and simple.
• Go with your gut. If it “clicks”, then just say it. Self-talk
should feel positive, expanding, freeing, and supporting.
• Focus on new things, rather than changing what is.
• Act “as if”; give yourself permission to believe the idea is
true right now.
 Module Seven: Why not be oneself?
That is the whole
secret of a successful

Looking the Part appearance. If one is

a greyhound, why try
to look like a
Pekingese?
Dame Edith Sitwell

A person who has a strong sense of

personal worth makes a confident,
positive appearance.
 The Role of Body Language
Body language is a form of non-verbal
communication involving the use of stylized
gestures, postures, and physiologic signs
which act as cues to other people.
• EYE CONTACT.
• POSTURE.
• EXCESSIVE OR UNRELATED HEAD, FACIAL,
HAND AND BODY MOVEMENT.
 First Impressions Count
• BODY LANGUAGE
• DRESS AND GROOMING
• HANDSHAKE
• BODY MOVEMENT
 Module Eight: The way we
communicate with

Sounding the Part

others and with
ourselves
ultimately
determines the
quality of our lives.

Feeling and looking the part would Anthony Robbins

not be complete without voice.

Given that we know that 38% of
communication effectiveness is
governed by voice quality,
improving your overall voice
message delivery is worthwhile.
 It’s How You Say It
• Breathe from your diaphragm
• Drink plenty of water to stay hydrated; avoid caffeine because of its
diuretic effects
• Posture affects breathing, and also tone of voice, so be sure to stand up
straight
• To warm up the tone of your voice, smile
• If you have a voice that is particularly high or low, exercise it’s by practicing
speaking on a sliding scale.
• Record your voice and listen to the playback
• Deeper voices are more credible than higher pitched voices. Try speaking
in a slightly lower octave.
• Enlist a colleague or family member to get feedback about the tone of
your voice.
 Sounding Confident
• PITCH - Pitch means how high or low your
voice is.
• VOLUME - The loudness of your voice must be
governed by your diaphragm
• QUALITY - The color, warmth, and meaning
given to your voice contribute to quality
 Using “I” Messages

An “I” message is a statement specifically

worded to express your feelings about a
particular situation.
Module Nine: Powerful It takes me at least
three weeks to

Presentations
prepare an
impromptu
speech.
Mark Twain

Presentations made by assertive,

self-confident people can achieve a
desired outcome.
 Using STAR to Make Your Case
• S = Situation
First, state what the situation is. Try to make this no longer than one
sentence.
• T = Task
Next, briefly state what your task was. Again, this should be no longer
than one sentence.
• A = Action
Now, state what you did to resolve the problem in one sentence.
• R = Result
Last, state what the result was. This will often use a combination of the six
roots.
 Module Ten: Communication
is both a science

Coping Techniques and an art.

Mark Sanborn

An assertive, self-confident person

uses a variety of coping techniques
to deal with the challenges of
interpersonal communication.
 Building Rapport

Rapport is the relation of harmony,

conformity, accord, or affinity to support an
outcome
 Expressing Disagreement
Representation systems determine by the brain
give us cues about how individuals process
information. People can be classified as
predominantly:
• VISUAL. (The things we see)
• AUDITORY. (The things we hear)
• KINESTHETIC. (The things we feel, touch, taste
or smell).
 Coming to Consensus
• P - Present outcomes
• E - Explain evidence
• G - Gain agreement on outcomes
• A - Activate sensory acuity
• S - Summarize each major decision
• U - Use the relevancy challenge
• S - Summarize the next step.
Module Eleven: Dealing The ability to
work with
with Difficult Behavior people is as
purchasable a
commodity as
coffee or sugar,
but I’ll pay for it
Each of us can probably think of at least more than any
one difficult personality with whom we other ability
under the sun.
have had to deal, either at work -- or in John D.
our personal lives. With a strategy, it is Rockefeller
possible to learn what the person does
to annoy you, and what you might be
doing to aggravate the situation.
 Dealing with Difficult
Situations
• Removing virtually all positive attributes about
the person. (“He was my worst hiring
mistake…”)
• Defaming him or her (We build consensus with
others against the person)
• Explaining the person in negative terms.
 Key Tactics
Three strategies will help you gather facts and
use targeted strategies to deal with the person
or the situation.
• ACTIVE LISTENING
• NOTE TAKING AFTER A DISCUSSION
• WRITING YOUR COMMUNICATION
 Module Twelve: Courage doesn't
always roar.

Wrapping Up Sometimes
courage is the
quiet voice at
the end of the
Words from the Wise day saying, "I
will try again
• SHARON ANTHONY BOWER: The basic tomorrow.
difference between being assertive and being Mary Anne
aggressive is how our words and behavior Radmacher

affect the rights and well being of others.

• CAL LE MON: Assertiveness is not what you
do, it's who you are!
• ROBERT COLLIER: Your chances of success in
any undertaking can always be measured by
your belief in yourself.