T~ Troder

D<Jf.",iv.
"
lie ... are the nine st~ps In resl"",ding to ~"rre.;lion, adVice. ,!riti~ism.
and attack that Sid leamed;

I. List~n ""rdully without f~a,. R~m~mber thai the sl'cak~r is I"kill.'( a

risk in being open an~ l'on~'S1 "bout a pe<eei,'ed probl"", .
2 . ParapilrdS<' back to the sr><'ake,'s satisfa~1;on wha' you belie"e he or
sl,,, is trying 10 Idl you.
:1. Ask fo, confimlation that you have IlfOjl('fly undeffitood what Ihe
sp'eak"r has said.
~. If Ihere is a probl,·", inherent i" your perron" "nc.. , aeknowl,..tge il
with"ut ex~u."ffl, reaso".• , or Ju..titl~ati(Jll1!! . At this jloin~ it (]"e" not
matter if y"u are being wrongly a ccu......-l . Yuu n~,,<l to ()wn up to y"ur
pan in the matter and only your pan as they see it Realize that it is
their opiniun but that it may have value for you, Gems of good infomla-
t;on ma)' be mis.&:d if you block prople from exprC8Sing thei r opmion
Ewn une plN:e of ad,;cc cnn make all the difference in your perfor'
''''lUee .
~ . Work loward a ",utualty agreed upo" solu(.io". Ask for pole",ial solu ·
tions and ad'ice.
6. Make a con""it,,'enl to work on Ihe solulio",
1. Thank the sr>eaker for being witting to bri"g the prw le'" 10 light and
for hi.. help in ,."I''ing it On~e yuu ha .... rak,>n th ... ~"neilia\Ory step,
all of the potenUal ",'gative f.... lings that were In the ,,[>Caker wil! have
been neutra~zed, He will haw no reason left to r.... 1 that y"u are in the
wrong, that yo" have not be<>n listpmng, and that you ,,;11 not coo!><,r-
ate in correclmg the problem, You are "0"· pan of the solution .
H. F"lIow up and fullow thfl>ug.h. Once yo" have agreed upon a solution,
work on tt,e soluuon and k.,." updati,'l! 'he sll~akcr Orr you r prog"-""l.
This follow up is not only c ritical in soh'I.ll.'( the problem . but in buildm..:
a stro"ger 8C"'iC of I"n,mwork
~ . Reward y"u"",lf eacl' (i"'e you ,nake it Ihrough a s ituati"n in w),kh
the fe<'<lbac. k l~ negativ~ without r""oning tl> defensive nffi'l.

The purpose of tins rehearsal is to make yo" "omfortable with the pro-
Cffi'I or responding to eo"""tio", criticism, blame, or attack and automat-
ically ",spondin..: wilh a st,mel& of st"'''l\1h, If you do not have anyone
10 rchearse With, Shut y"urself in a roo,,, and ret'en"", oul loud or mcn ·
ta lly rehearse d ifferenl scenarivs until you f•..,1 prepared tl> Hoi resp"nd
defe'"<ively.