LETTING GO 01' [MOTIONAL STAT[s

Whal dot'S it ,,'~an tu IJe dd"'l.Siv~" A dcr~nsi>'e I, ader is une whu find~
it difficull I" tak~ dire<;ti"n, eUrre<!tlon, advice, fIr wnslructive criticism.
The individual may get upset and angry, but it is more Ihan likely that he
will simply explaJn and justiry his IJehavior with ratiunalizations, excuses,
and reasons , Whal he eannot do is say, "I an, wrong and need to make a
COIT<'Cllon. -
V", a uader, the problem ""id, ocinll dde""h'c is Ihat nothing can
change if tlw preSt'nl C"Ul"le i~ a lways d~rended, ",'en Ih"ugh il is ,n"ving
the trader in Ihe wrong direcW>II ,

A friend wh" si~~ on the I.>t>.~nl of directors of a pM,'me organization had"

serious proble", with a consultant that had been hire-d to manage its pub-
lie relations, When the members of the board trie-d w ten the consultant
what they wante-d, s he always look a defe"",ve (>Oi'IlUre. FrustroRxl and an-
gry, Ihc board cwntually d<'Cted w fire her. Their due( co",plaint ""as that
she spent all ur I'er (i,ne dcfe,,,liug hcr positiun and nul lislening 10 Iheir
conC~n'S, What they wanl,..1 I'cr lu du ..'as '0 acknuwle-dgc Iheir cunCen,s,
lrL<tead , she simply defended the stalus quo S<' that ""thing could be d"n"
to curre<!1 the prubl""'" presented by the board.
As a ddens;'·" trader, yuu will snrrn find YOUJ"S<'lf in a position
cumparnbl{' to the defcnsi,·c manag<'r and th{' pubUc relatio,,,, consul·
tanto If you an' not listcnin,o; and af" unable 10 acknowledg<, a prob-
le,n, you can e .peet Ihe fulluwing ('On""'-lllenct"S in your pror~'SSi"nal and
personal life :

• V,,'" ~ m o~t irnl''' 'Ulnl ,cJ ll(.ion ~hil'S wilt ~" rrcr. The I",,-,ple y"u
work anri Ii"e wilh n<>ed to lie alM to tell you when "u"wthing is wrong
or if ",,,neth ing is bothering the,,,. Iflhey cannot get you to hear them
l>ecause you are defending the stalus <lUO, they will e,·entually Slop try-
ing. Wh"n Ihey stop trying, they wiU shut you "uL F"r a trader, the ,ita!
linN< "r commullicati"" and 8UPJ"'" ..-ill ..-lIhe, and die.
When yo" admit Ihat yuu ha\'(' mad<" a miswkc " f tloa! Y"U nred
lu in'pro>'e a situation, II,,· p<-"-'Ple whu broughl you ttw prubl{'", will
imme<\iately stop their {'riti eL<"" aflack, or presentation , You ha,'e ad·
dres.'H!d Ihe .."""plaint and ""w e\'e,yone is on the !<alne teanL The
words, -You are right!- mend fencO'S, build support and tean, SPirit,
and lead to compromise .
• Yo" r Iradin g will no t imp","c, Nu traMr should """"iMr ]umsdf
incapable uf leaming U' improving, To fail 10 irrrprove meanS thai yo"