The Influence of Parental Communication Style on the Quality of Parent-

Child Relationships: Based on Family Communication Theory

Tysa Meidina Alfiani1 , K. Y. S. Putri2

Communication Science, Faculty of Social Sciences, Universitas Negeri Jakarta

E-mail :

tysa_1410622014@mhs.unj.ac.id

kinkinsubarsa@unj.ac.id

Abstract

This study aims to explore the influence of parental communication styles on the quality of
relationships between children and parents, with reference to Family Communication Theory.
This theoretical approach provides a basis for understanding how patterns of communication
within a family can form the dynamics of parent-child relationships. Research methods involve
collecting data through qualitative methods with in-depth interview strategies to understand
parents' communication style and quality of family relationships. Research results show that
positive and open communication styles tend to strengthen the quality of child-parent
relationships, while ineffective communication can hinder them. The implications of these
findings provide insight into the importance of communication's role in building healthy family
relationships and provide the basis for the development of interventions to improve
communication quality in family contexts.

Keywords: Parent, child, family, communication, relationship

1. Introduction

Communication is the delivery and reception of messages or news between two or more people,
so that the message in question can be understood. Communication is also what happens when
given to a behavior. When someone notices our behavior and gives meaning, communication has
occurred, regardless of whether or not we realize it and do it or not. When considered, it should
be realized that it is impossible for us to not behave, because each behavior has potential for
communication.

Interpersonal communication within a family established between parent and child is an

important factor in determining individual development. The expected communication is
effective communication. Effective communication can lead to understanding, pleasure,
influence on attitude, improved relationships and such actions in the environment are expected to
foster effective communication between parents and their children, resulting in a harmonious
relationship.

Parents and children are one bond in the soul, No one can separate it. The bond in the form of an
emotional relationship between a child and his or her parents is reflected in behavior, including
in differences in religious beliefs even between parents and children, so a child is required to
respect the parent at any time. And Allah enjoineth mankind to serve Him, and to do good unto
both parents.

The role of parents in the family is critical to the child's physical development, intelligence,
attitude, behavior and physical development. Child development in the family depends on the
role of both parents in guiding, loving, loving and caring for their children to grow up. A
newborn child is like a white paper with no ink. This is where parents play a role in directing
children to have better abilities.

An ideal family is a family that provides a climate that supports optimal child growth. This can
happen if parents play a role and function in parenting, provide support, affection, and instill
positive values so that the child can grow and develop into a positive person.

Mothers play an important role in accompanying adolescents to process being positive

individuals and avoid behavioral deviations. This is because the mother is the first person to have
a relationship with her child (Notosoedirjo & Latipun, 2002). Mothers spend more time giving
physical attention and welfare affectively (Berk, 2003). Shulman & Seiffge-Krenke (1997) states
that in a family, mother is a source of empathy and emotional comfort for her children.

Family communication is an important factor in determining the child's poor health. If a parent
instills a good attitude toward a child, such as honest, noble, humble, courageous, then the child
will feel that he or she is precious, so that it will foster good behavior and behavior within the
child.

In this case, one thing parents should remember, that communication problems are a matter of
habit. It means that communication must be maintained continuously since the children are still
in their mother's womb until they grow up. Usually parents are unaware of communication with
their children, actually in children growing up, Because at that time parents were on the rise in
their career and parents' attention was heavily seized by their busy work and social activities and
the parents were fully entrusted because they would mature themselves.

The process of change in children is usually not parental aware, but is strongly felt by children.
By the time parents realized the shortcomings, things were already bad to save. Parents should
always be vigilant and try not to forget their communication with children, however busy they
are. Smooth and healthy communication within a family is the hope of every member of the
family, as individuals with other individuals are attached, interconnected and in need of each
other. Therefore, smooth and harmonious communication within the family is desirable for every
member of the family to continue well and intensively. Good communication in a family is
inseparable from the role of both parents, as both are examples of their children to live a safe and
prosperous life.

A. Family Communication Theory

Family communication theories are coherent accounts of family communication processes and
family relationships that provide explanations for phenomena of interests, which frequently are
the relationships or communication behaviors themselves or their outcomes for family members.
As such, family communication theories are central to any investigation of family
communication processes and of outcomes that might be affected by them. Family
communication theories stem from a number of different academic disciplines and are based on a
wide range of methodologies, ranging from critical to scientific. As a result, there is substantial
disagreement about the very nature of theory, the role theory plays in research, and the
appropriate methods for studying family communication. This entry provides an overview of the
theoretical approaches that are most frequently found in family communication research and
introduces a few of the more influential theories in some detail.

Research on family communication is not an exclusive domain of communication scholars.

Rather, academic interest in families and their communication exists in a number of academic
disciplines, including child development, family social sciences psychology, and sociology. As a
result, there exist many very different theories related to family communication that create very.
divergent accounts of family communication. Contributing to this diversity is the fact that as a
discipline, communication is a relative newcomer compared to other disciplines, which have
much longer histories of interest in family communication processes, their antecedents, and
outcomes.

Thus, most theories of family communication originated outside the communication discipline
and often share the particular assumptions and biases of the disciplines from which they
originated. Even among those theories used in family communication research that originated
from within the communication discipline, a majority was not developed explicitly with family
communication in mind, but rather in regard to interpersonal communication more generally or
in regard to specific communication processes that happen to also take place in the family
context, such as self-disclosure or uncertainty reduction. As a consequence, family
communication theories vary widely in the basic assumptions they make about what is important
for family communication, what explains communication behaviors, and what effects
communication has on other variables.
 2. Research Methods
This study used a qualitative method using a descriptive approach. Qualitative descriptive
methods are research methods aimed at describing social phenomena in a medium and
comprehensively using qualitative data. In this study, qualitative data were collected using in-
depth interviews. Interviews are data collection techniques directly conducted in direct dialogue
with intentionally selected participants to collect data and obtain accurate information in the
study. The study was conducted by interviewing five teenagers aged 19 – 21 who were children
with family involvement.
The study participants consisted of one male and four females from different family
backgrounds. The interview study used Whatsapp's media, which is chat with every session,
which is 40 minutes. Interviews are conducted using good and correct Indonesian language, and
respect the ethics and rights of participants. The interview was recorded and transcribed for data
analysis purposes.
3. Results and Discussion
Communication between parents and children is sometimes good and sometimes bad, but in this
discussion we will discuss more about how the role of communication in the family. By
interviewing sources, by asking several questions that will be discussed further in this chapter,
the following questions and answers from sources.

How would you describe your parents' communication style in your family and to what
extent do you believe it affects the quality of the relationship between you and your
parents?

1. The first question was answered by 19-year-old Syafira

My parents' communication style is very open, they're open if I say anything about
friendship, education, love, and any problems. They're not the easiest people to judge
either. I feel comfortable telling my parents anything. Of course, it really affects the
quality of my relationship with my parents, and on the contrary, it can make the
relationship between the two better.
2. The first question was answered by 19-year-old Cieka
My parents' communication used non-formal communication and directly, It had an
effect on my relationship with my parents who had so far tended to be relaxed, so I didn't
hesitate to tell them anything.
3. The first question was answered by 20-year-old Iecha.
My parents ' communication style in my family tends to be open and supportive. They
always listen to my opinions, give advice wisely, and create an environment where I feel
comfortable talking. I believe that this style of communication has played an important
role in strengthening our relationship. Openness and appreciation for each other's views
create a strong bond and mutual understanding. Despite the differences in opinion, the
 ability to communicate effectively has helped us overcome various challenges and
strengthen family ties.
4. The first question was answered by 19-year-old Sevian
I described the parental communication style in my family as open. My parents always
appreciated my opinions and feelings for the opportunity to participate in family decision
- making.
5. The first question was answered by 21-year-old Fajrina.
Quite a style of communication is effective because of mutual openness and I believe in
communication openness is one of the things that is very supportive for smooth
communication.

In the answer I got from the participants was the openness of parent-child communication, by
creating effective communication where it would promise communication between parents and
children who have tremendous contributions to positive behavior development opportunities.
Clearly, the goal of good communication between parents and children is to create a warm
climate of friendship, making the child feel comfortable to parents.

Do you feel any particular communication that can affect positive or negative situations in
parent - child relationships?

1. The second question was answered by 19-year-old Syafira

That affects positive or negative situations such as open attitude, because it is very
important to make children comfortable when talking with parents. In addition, parents
give good feedback to their children to make the relationship between the child and the
parents more positive. If parents always criticize and emotionally, it will make the
condition negative.
2. The second question was answered by 19-year-old Cieka
Yes, if communication is done the wrong way, it will certainly affect the parent's
relationship with the child, For example, a child's nature tends to be closed and harbors
all his own problems.
3. The second question was answered by 20-year-old Iecha.
Yes, I believe that positive communication can significantly strengthen the relationship
between parent and child. When communication is done with appreciation, openness, and
empathy, it tends to create a close, understanding bond. On the other hand, if negative
communication, such as lack of appreciation, lack of openness, or even aggressive
communication, can damage the relationship. Words and expressions chosen in everyday
communication can have a long-term impact on family dynamics. Therefore, awareness
of the importance of positive communication can help to build a strong and harmonious
foundation between the child and the parent.
4. The second question was answered by 19-year-old Sevian
Yes, I feel that certain communication can affect both positive and negative situations in
parent - child relationships. For example, when my parents used praise, support, and
 humor in communicating with me, I felt happier, confident, and motivated. On the other
hand, when my parents use harsh words, threats, or punishment in communicating with
me, I feel sad, angry, and depressed.
5. The second question was answered by 21-year-old Fajrina
Yeah, depending on the topic being talked about or the personal, For example, when I go
out all day and when I come home, I reach out and then my mother asks me to speak and
it tends to be negative communication.

The answer I got from the participants was a sense of positive and negative attitude at certain
circumstances in family communication. Open or parallel communication of course the child will
feel valued, loved and cared for by his parents. As parents, they will know how to understand
and recognize and foster children's behavior so that they will become a generation that will
decide the future course of the nation and the mutual understanding between the two. Of course,
by accepting and accrue and swinging them with communication can lead to the development of
children's behavior to be positive, of course. It's quite different what happens to closed or
unequal communication within a family. This will cause the child to become closed, afraid,
unappreciated, lack of attention from his parents, and communication will not be a positive
learning process for both.

How does your communication experience with your parents affect your perception of
family relationships and the emotional support you feel?

1. The third question was answered by 19-year-old Syafira

My communication experience with good parents gave good perception from me to my
parents as well. Because the response they gave me made me not afraid to tell anything,
even like things I couldn't even tell because I knew they wouldn't be angry, but if I was
wrong they would tell me it was wrong and they would tell me it was wrong and justify
it. With such a thing I felt that I was supported by my parents.
2. The third question was answered by 19-year-old Cieka
My parents' communication was arguably quite active and frequently exchanged word
even though we had a long distance. I still feel the warmth in the family and they always
support whatever steps I take.
3. The third question was answered by 20-year-old Iecha.
My communication experience with my parents had a significant impact on my
perception of family relationships and the emotional support I felt. Open, understanding,
and compassionate communication has created an environment where I feel emotionally
supported. This not only strengthens family ties, but also provides a sense of security and
trust in living a daily life. Often positive dialogue and acceptance of my feelings and
opinions formed a positive view of family relationships. In the overall positive
communication experience with parents has become a pillar in building a solid
foundation for healthy and emotionally supportive family relationships.
4. The third question was answered by 19-year-old Sevian
 My communication experience with my parents affected my perception of family
relationships and the emotional support I felt positively. I felt that my family's
relationship was not strained and not too close to each other.
5. Third question answered by 21-year-old Fajrina'
So it's more open and it's easier to voice an opinion or disagree with it because there's
emotional support from parents.

In the answer to the emotional attachment felt by the child and the parent is important, in a
family, especially between parents and children, it is a tremendous contribution to both, because
the presence of effective and efficient communication that is carried out continuously can create
intimacy, openness, and openness. The more attention between the two and the parents is more
likely to know each other's emotional feelings.

Do you feel that there are certain aspects of parental communication that need to be
improved to improve the quality of family relationships?

1. The fourth question was answered by 19-year-old Syafira

That aspect of communication needs to be improved by better understanding the feelings
from my perspective as a child, because sometimes my parents still compare the present
to their time which is certainly different and irrelevant to the present. My parents, though
they give the best advice and support but sometimes they still put a little emphasis on
emotions. Such things need to be improved in order to improve the quality of family
relationships.
2. The fourth question was answered by 19-year-old Cieka
Aspects that need to be improved or implemented in a family, such as not using high
voice intonation, appreciating children's achievements even if they are small, Or like a
little thing to call someone else by affectionate call.
3. The fourth question was answered by 20-year-old Iecha
Values to improve certain aspects of parental communication. For example, it further
increases openness to encourage more in-depth discussions about the feelings and needs
of individual family members. Furthermore, better understanding and acknowledging
differences of opinion and giving room for expression without fear of being judged can
improve communication aspects. Therefore, improving the quality of this communication
can be an important step in improving the quality of the whole family relationship.
4. The fourth question was answered by 19-year-old Sevian
I feel that there are certain aspects of parental communication that need to be improved to
improve the quality of family relationships. For example, I wish my parents could be
more patient in communicating with me, especially when I make mistakes, have different
opinions, or have conflicts with them.
5. The fourth question was answered by 21-year-old Fajrina
Parents are expected to be more open to children and vice versa in communication so as
to avoid any misscom in the family.
Reidler & Swenson's (2012) study also showed that the quality of negative relationships between
parents and children associated with negative child behavior is often due to lack of parent-child
communication. In line with Rediler and Swenson's research results, McLaren & Sillars' (2020)
study also showed that effective communication can make others feel understood and perceived
understanding can improve relationship quality. In addition, communication operators can
engage in emotional support that can prevent relationship conflicts.

Could you give us an example of a particular situation or event that you think reflects the
influence of parents' communication style on the quality of your relationship with them?

1. The fifth question was answered by 19-year-old Syafira

For example, it's like they always ask me what I'm doing when I'm out of the house to see
if I'm okay. This kind of thing makes me feel that my parents care about me and of course
it affects the quality of the strong relationship between me and my parents.
2. The fifth question was answered by 19-year-old Cieka
My parents are quite protective of their children, They've communicated to me if I travel
I have to give word and get home on time as agreed. So, if I don't give news at one time
and go home over the agreed time limit, then I have to be able to explain the problem of
why I got home so late, that my parents could understand that. For that reason, I think
every family must have their own style of communication and it greatly affects the
quality of their relationship between parents and children.
3. The fifth question was answered by 20-year-old Iecha.
For example, I faced challenges at school, and my parents' communication style played
an important role. My parents responded by listening without judgment, providing moral
support, and giving wise advice. It creates a comfortable environment. Their
understanding and supportive response not only addressed the problems at the time but
also strengthened our relationship. This experience reflects the importance of a positive
style of communication in building the quality of parent-child relationships, forming a
foundation of ongoing trust and openness.
4. The fifth question was answered by 19-year-old Sevian
Reflecting the influence of parents' communication style on the quality of my relationship
with them was when I entered a state university in Jakarta. My parents were very proud
and pleased with my results, and they praised me for congratulating and giving gifts.
5. The fifth question was answered by 21-year-old Fajrina.
Examples of communication that occurs during dinner at the dinner table, the
communication style that occurs will improve the relationship between the child and the
parent.

In the answers given by the participants that parent-child relationships can be optimized by
improving communication between the two. This is because communication will encourage
interaction, closeness, and influence the child's view of parents (Aryani, 2015). In the end,
parents need to have skills to communicate effectively to the child so that parents and children
have quality relationships, and parents can easily instill values to the child.

Family communication theory in this discussion is that communication between parents and
children has a very important role in the quality of family relationships.

a. Parents' Understanding:
1) Parents hold the role of the head of a family and the first personal formation in a
child's life.
2) Parents' personality, attitude, and way of life affect children's education indirectly
3) Parents are responsible for developing the overall child's existence, including physical
and psychic needs.
b. Communication understanding
1) Communication is the process of transmitting messages or information between
individuals
2) In communication, the similarity of meaning about a matter is essential for a
relationship to be communicative
3) Parent-child communication involves sending and receiving messages so that
messages can be understood
c. Parent - Child Communication Style
1) Authoritarian style of communication: Parents are in complete control, but can hinder
the child's openness.
2) Democratic communication style: Parents listen to children's opinions, build good
relationships, and appreciate children's opinions.
3) Permissive communication style: Parents lack supervision, The child may be out of
control.
4) Strong communication style: Parents are in control, but still pay attention to their
opinions
d. Effect of Communication Style on Relationship Quality:
1) Positive and open communication between parents and children builds trust and
affects cognitive, emotional, social, and social aspects. and a child's language
2) The diversity in communication styles between families determines the relationship
between parents and children
3) Parents' attitudes (affection, dominance, ambition, interest) affect relationships with
children

By understanding the importance of positive communication, We can strengthen the relationship

between parent and child and have a positive psychological impact on the child.

4. Conclusion
The journal discusses family communication theory, it examines how communication
occurs within the family so that the relationships and behaviors of communication
 between family members are central to the overall family dynamics. Therefore,
communication between parents and children has a crucial role in individual
development. Effective communication styles also affect better understanding, happiness,
and relationships. Therefore, parents who show a positive attitude (honest, noble, humble,
brave) form a positive perception in the child. Effective communication between the
child and the parent creates a harmonious relationship so that it can also affect a good
family environment for positive child development. Children feel valued and valued
when parents display good care and communication.

5. References

Caffrey, Louise and Freda Browne. "Understanding the social worker–family relationship through self–
determination theory: A realist synthesis of Signs of Safety." Child & Family Social Work 27 (2022): 513-525.

McLaren, R. M., & Sillars, A. (2020). Parent and adolescent conversations about hurt: How interaction
patterns predict four hicaccuracy and perceived understanding. Communication Monographs, 87(3), 312–35.

Pajar Mubarok, P. (2016). A positive parenting program to improve the mindful skills of adolescent parents.
Psychological Science Journal, 3(1), 35–50.

Reidler, E. B., & Swenson, L. P. (2012). Discrepancies between youth and mothers' perceptions of their
mother–child relationship quality and self-disclosure: Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 41(9), 1151–1167.

Riesch, S. K., Henriques, J., & Chanchong, W. (2003). Effects of communication skills training on parents and
young adults from extreme family types. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing, 16(4), 162–175.

Journal of Al-Ijtimaiyah: Media Studies on Islamic Community Development 105 ISSN 2654-5217 (p); 2461-
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INTERVENTION JOURNAL OF P-ISSN P-ISSN: 2085-4447; E-ISSN: 2579-4337 Volume 13, Number 1,
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