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GENERAL ENGLISH · GENERAL ISSUES · UPPER-INTERMEDIATE (B2-C1)

HOW TO BE
A GOOD
LISTENER
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1 Warm up

In pairs, discuss the following questions.

1. What do you find difficult when you are listening to someone for a long time?
2. What can people do to make it easier to listen when they are talking for a long time?
3. When you are talking, how do you know someone is listening to you carefully?
4. What do people do when they are not listening to someone very carefully? How do you know?

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HOW TO BE A GOOD LISTENER

2 Understanding the introduction

Read the following excerpts and number them in the correct order 1-9. The first one has been done
for you.

At its core, listening in a one-on-one conversation is about taking

to know what truly excellent listening looks like. Behavioural scientists have

an interest in another person and making them feel understood. There’s no universally agreed-
upon definition
found that good listening is one of the most important things we can do to improve our
relationships,
develop our worldview, and potentially even change people’s minds. So, what can we do to
become better listeners?
of high-quality listening, but some recurring features include attentiveness, conveying
understanding, and showing a positive intention towards the speaker.
1 It’s easy to tell when someone’s not paying attention, but it can be surprisingly tricky

This doesn’t mean you can simply go through the motions— researchers have found that merely
smiling and nodding at set intervals doesn’t
quite work. However, there is something slightly performative about listening in that it’s
important to show you’re doing it.

Now watch the first part of the video (00:00-01: 10) and check your answers.

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HOW TO BE A GOOD LISTENER

3 Scanning for vocabulary

Find words in the introduction that have the same meaning as the following definitions.

1. (adj.) hard to do or manage

2. (adj.) concerned with the way in which someone acts

3. (n) the attitude someone has about life which often depends on their way of
thinking, culture, and beliefs
4. recurring (adj.) happening again and again

5. Attention (n) the quality of listening or watching very carefully to understand as much
information as possible
6. Go throw (idiom) do something because it is expected of you not because you want to
or are interested
7. (adv.) meaning ‘simply’ or ‘only’ and used to show that something did not
need a lot of effort
8. (adj.) clearly doing the action that they are talking about or showing

4 Personalising vocabulary

Complete the following questions with vocabulary from the previous exercise.

1. Did you go to school with anyone who had Behaviour problems? What did they do which
made you think this?

2. What is it about your culture, your background and your beliefs that creates your World view ?

3. What can you do to show your Attention when someone is talking?

4. Do you have any dreams or nightmares? What happens in them?

5. Have you ever done a job where you had to but it wasn’t very important to you?

6. Which tasks do you find to do? Why?

Now in pairs, answer the questions.

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5 Focus on vocabulary
Part A: Match the vocabulary to the definitions.

1. clarification (n) a. make something, such as knowledge, an attitude or belief, a

natural part of how you act or think
2. curiosity (n) b. something which takes attention away from what you should be
looking at or thinking about
3. distraction (n) c. very close and personal

4. fulfilling (adj.) d. an interest in learning more information about a particular subject

or object
5. interject (v) e. do what you can to find what is needed to complete a task, even
when it’s difficult
6. internalise (v) f. the act of making something easier to understand

7. intimate (adj.) g. making you feel as though you have used your time well and
leaving you satisfied and useful
8. muster (v) h. interrupt someone while they are talking to make a statement
about what you think

Part B: Now complete the following sentences with a different part of speech or phrase connected
to the Part A word in brackets.

1. I’m just about to call Mark so that I can what time we are leaving in the morning.
He hasn’t been specific yet. (clarification)

2. I love looking around shops to look at antiques and . You can find some amazing
things if you look in the right places. (curiosity)

3. Can you stop clicking your pen, please? I’m trying to write this email and it’s really .
(distraction)

4. I volunteer at the nursing home once a month. I get a lot of from spending time
with the elderly people there and you hear some fantastic stories! (fulfilling)

5. After an from the judge, our lawyer seemed to lose track of what he was saying
and didn’t do very well with his questions. (interject)

6. I don’t think the company is going to involve the police, they will just deal with the problem
. I think someone is probably going to get fired. (internalise)

7. She had a difficult relationship with her parents which led to problems with later
on in life. She seems to be very happily single though. (intimate)

8. It’s probably not the best paint job on a car ever, but I think it’s good enough to
with my Dad. (muster)

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6 Watching for details

Watch the second part of the video (01:10-05:06) and number the words from the vocabulary section
in the order that you hear them.

curiosity (n)

intimate (adj.)

muster (v)

interject (v)

clarification (n)

1 internalise (v)

fulfilling (adj.)

distraction (n)

7 Understanding the video: Part 1

Watch the second part of the video (01:10-05:06) and answer the following questions.

1. Which two things can you use to show someone you are listening closely to what they are saying?

2. What is important to put away before you have an important conversation with someone?

3. What type of questions should you ask?

4. What is another good way to show you are listening?

5. If you miss some details, what should you do?

6. What does the video suggest you do when the person has finished speaking?

7. What are two benefits created when managers listen more carefully to their employees?

8. What does the video say is the possible result of trying to make someone agree with you?

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HOW TO BE A GOOD LISTENER

What is the meaning of the underlined words in the following excerpts?

1. A good conversation requires back and forth...

2. So try to stay present...

8 Extended activity: telling a personal story

In pairs, you are going to take turns telling a story about something that happened to you in your life.
You will take turns to actively listen to each other and show that you are following the story and are
interested in using the suggestions from the video in the lesson. First, you need to think about an
event that happened to you. Take some time to think about what the event was, what happened and
how you will explain it. Use the following questions to help you.

• Where were you when it happened?

• What were you doing there?
• Who were you with?
• What time of day was it?
• What was the weather like?
• What happened?
• What happened after the event? Did it change anything about your life?

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