75 shadow work prompts for self-discovery
and acceptance
The importance of shadow work
How to do shadow work: 3 tips
What are shadow work prompts?
75 shadow work prompts
Bring your shadow into the light
Whether you know it or not, you hide part of yourself.
During childhood, an adult reprimanded “undesirable” behavior, like being curious,
and you now don’t ask questions when you have them. Or you experienced a
traumatic event that you work hard to hide, repressing your feelings and avoiding
any discussion on the subject.
This part of you that lives in the dark is your shadow shelf. You relegate certain
traits, memories, or behaviors to this hidden place because it’s easier than
confronting them. You might feel like you’re protecting yourself, but avoiding
negative feelings can keep you from healing and becoming your whole self.
This part of you that lives in the dark is your shadow shelf. You relegate certain
traits, memories, or behaviors to this hidden place because it’s easier than
confronting them. You might feel like you’re protecting yourself, but avoiding
negative feelings can keep you from healing and becoming your whole self.
Many who want to unpack the shadow self seek help from a mental health
professional , often in the form of talk therapy or eye movement desensitization and
reprocessing (EMDR) therapy . With the help of a professional, you can safely
unpack past traumas , explore your fixed mindset, and manage the emotional
implications of this kind of self-discovery .
Complement therapy with at-home practices for healing and growth. Shadow work ,
or the act of uncovering your unconscious mind, can help you reflect on your beliefs
and experiences. This often comes in the form of journaling or quiet self-reflection .
These shadow work prompts can light the way.
The importance of shadow work
Shadow work branches from psychologist Carl Jung’s idea of the shadow self :
another way to describe the unconscious mind, which is responsible for human
needs like eating, drinking, and avoiding pain. Jung described the shadow self as
the more primal, less socialized version of the self — one that feels socially
unacceptable emotions things like greed, laziness, and anger.
Pushing the shadow self down might be your instinct. But studies show
that suppressing your feelings can lead to more anxiety and decreased well-being .
Instead, get in touch with all parts of who you are with shadow work.
Like many forms of self-awareness building, shadow work helps you better
understand yourself. You focus solely on unpacking the buried parts of you — the
aspects of your personality you’ve hidden. You can uncover formative memories or
traits you’ve deemed undesirable, face them, and realistically consider the roles
they play in your life.
This work is crucial to your personal development journey because it provides
insights into your reactions and behaviors. You can interrogate why you bury certain
parts of your personality, and when you get to the root, you can start uplifting
instead of repressing yourself. Maybe you tie a negative perception of your sense of
humor back to a time when people put you down after sharing a joke. From there,
you can work to crush this false idea and start making people laugh again.
How to do shadow work: 3 tips
The idea behind shadow work isn’t to expose yourself to painful memories or feed
into toxic traits. It’s about learning more about all parts of your personality,
including positive traits and the things you want to work on.
Here are three tips for approaching this practice safely and productively:
1. Get a shadow work journal: Journaling is an excellent way to encourage self-
reflection because it lets you put your thoughts in writing and work through them in
real time. Using self-discovery questions, you can perform at-home shadow work
exercises and reflect on the observations on the page.
2. Share your practice with a professional: Get the full benefits of shadow work by
combining independent work with professional support. Share your desire to perform
shadow work with a therapist or coach, who can help you explore the hidden parts
of yourself with more guidance. They can help you reflect and set goals that bring
you out of the shadows.
Avoid shaming yourself: Focus on self-acceptance while doing shadow
work. This is an exploratory exercise aimed at fostering growth, not one that
encourages shame or lowers your self-esteem. As you work, track negative
sensations that come up in your body. If you feel uncomfortable, it may be
time to take a break or ask a mental health professional for help. And if you
sense you’re not prepared to do this work now, wait until you’re ready. There
are lots of other ways to learn more about yourself.
What are shadow work
prompts?
Shadow work prompts are questions you ask yourself that push you to uncover
repressed thoughts or feelings. You can respond to shadow work questions by
journaling, jotting down related ideas, and processing the emotions that arise. You
can also work through these prompts with a mental health professional or trusted
friend — a good option if you want a third-party perspective.
Like most prompts, shadow work prompts give you a starting point for deep thinking.
Instead of posing the difficult-to-answer question, “What parts of myself do I hide?”,
prompts provide a way to approach this inquiry from different and unexpected
angles. You’ll explore meaningful relationships, formative moments, and inner
desires. Together, they can uncover facets of your shadow self.
75 shadow work prompts
Shadow work journal prompts uncover a holistic view of your abilities, dreams, and
insecurities. These questions touch on all aspects and stages of your life, from your
inner child to career goals. Here are 75 prompts that will help you explore the
richness of your existence and uncover thoughts and feelings you might hide.
Shadow work prompts for beginners
If you’ve never done shadow work before, you may want to start with more general
prompts and ease into the experience. Here are questions to support shadow work
for beginners:
1. What are my core values? Am I living by them?
2. What do I feel in my body when I am scared or anxious?
3. Do the people around me represent my values?
4. In what situations am I most hard on myself?
5. How would I describe myself? Is my description different from the one others
would give?
6. What makes me feel self-conscious?
7. Do I tend toward self-sabotage?
8. What was a time when I didn’t show myself self-compassion? Why?
9. Do I truly love myself? What would more self-love feel like?
10. What makes me feel guilty? Should I really feel this way, or did someone else
impose the idea?
11. What’s something I’m embarrassed to share?
12. What are my boundaries in different parts of my life? Do others respect them?
13. In what situations do I feel “less than”?
14. Would I rate my self-perception as primarily positive or negative? Why?
15. Do I generally have high self-esteem?
16. What would it feel like to have more self-confidence?
Shadow work prompts for
healing
Everyone has had impactful negative experiences or even childhood traumas in
their lives. Journaling about your shadow self with the following questions can help
you unpack those experiences safely:
17. What preconceptions did I have about myself as a child, and have they
changed?
18. What triggers lead to unhealthy habits or poor reactions?
19. What do I try to protect myself from?
20. When I think back on hurtful memories, what do I experience in my body?
21. What’s an experience that impacted me early in life? How am I healing from it?
22. Is there something I don’t forgive myself for?
23. What advice would I give my younger self?
24. Did my parents or mentors place unrealistic expectations on me as a child? How
do they continue to reflect in my adult life?
25. What values did I learn from adults as a child? How do I view these values
now?
26. What does my inner child need to hear?
27. If my shadow self lived outside of me, how would I view it?
28. What’s one thing I can do today to treat myself better?
29. Do I practice negative self-talk? How can I switch the narrative?
30. What affirmations could I say to reinforce my good qualities?
31. What does my inner monologue sound like?
Shadow work prompts for
personal growth
All shadow work aims to help you grow personally by knowing yourself better and
addressing pain or shame. The following prompts focus mainly on looking toward
the future and a more realized version of yourself:
32. What pain, shame, or heartbreak can I let go of?
33. What’s my purpose in life ? How am I fulfilling it?
34. Is my shadow self preventing me from reaching a goal?
35. What’s a behavior I could work to change? When does this behavior arise?
36. Do I make enough time for self-care ? What more could I be doing?
37. What advice would my future self give me?
38. Am I living up to someone else’s expectations or my own?
39. Who views me as a role model? Why?
40. What makes me feel unstable in life? Is there anything I can do to prevent this
feeling?
41. Is there something that stresses me out that I can let go of?
42. What is my biggest fear, and why?
43. Do I still feel aligned with my goals?
44. Where would I like to see myself in five years ? Is anything holding me back?
45. What are my inner motivations ? Are they healthy?
Shadow work prompts for your
professional life
Research from the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public
Health shows that a more satisfactory professional life leads to a better personal
one. It also found that the opposite is true — if you experience high stress levels or
instability in the workplace, your well-being may absorb the negative toll.
It may only be one facet of your life, but reflecting on your professional self can
inform all parts of you and indicate issues that bleed into other areas. Use the
following shadow work prompts to ensure your job aligns with the person you hope
to become:
46. Does my career trigger certain insecurities? Which and why?
47. Does my role align with my core values?
48. What responsibilities are challenging for me at work?
49. If I could change one thing about my job, what would it be?
50. Do I feel respected by my coworkers? Do any toxic behaviors affect me?
51. Are there skills I could develop to feel more confident at work?
52. Where do I see my career in three years? What about 10 years? Am I on the
path to that place?
53. What’s a professional experience that negatively impacted me? How did I
respond?
54. When’s a time that I overcame an obstacle at the workplace well?
55. How would my peers describe me?
56. If I could see my professional self from the outside, how would I view it?
57. Are limiting beliefs holding me back in my career?
58. What tasks do I dread most and why?
59. Is there anything I do to limit my success?
60. If I could shift my career tomorrow, what would I do?
Shadow work prompts for relationships
Relationship shadow work prompts help you understand how loved ones’ behaviors
may negatively impact your self-perception — both in the past and present. Use the
following questions to reflect on your current connections and consider how others’
thoughts and actions affect you:
61. What boundaries have I put up with people close to me? Why?
62. Has someone ever broken my trust? How did I respond?
63. Do I ever get into toxic relationships? If so, with what kind of people?
64. Does someone in my life shame me or throw my self-esteem into question?
65. Do I hold resentment or a grudge toward someone in my life?
66. How do I believe my partner/friends/family members see me?
67. What relationship behaviors trigger deep-seated fears?
68. Who am I the most vulnerable with, and what does it feel like?
69. When do I feel defensive in relationships? Why? How do I behave?
70. Have I ever felt rejected in a relationship? When?
71. What does it feel like to be heartbroken?
72. Who do I feel the safest around?
73. Can I honestly communicate my needs with my partner/friends/family
members?
74. Do I hide parts of myself from my partner or closest friends?
75. What don’t I want others to know about me?
Relationship shadow work prompts help you understand how loved ones’ behaviors
may negatively impact your self-perception — both in the past and present. Use the
following questions to reflect on your current connections and consider how others’
thoughts and actions affect you:
61. What boundaries have I put up with people close to me? Why?
62. Has someone ever broken my trust? How did I respond?
63. Do I ever get into toxic relationships? If so, with what kind of people?
64. Does someone in my life shame me or throw my self-esteem into question?
65. Do I hold resentment or a grudge toward someone in my life?
66. How do I believe my partner/friends/family members see me?
67. What relationship behaviors trigger deep-seated fears?
68. Who am I the most vulnerable with, and what does it feel like?
69. When do I feel defensive in relationships? Why? How do I behave?
70. Have I ever felt rejected in a relationship? When?
71. What does it feel like to be heartbroken?
72. Who do I feel the safest around?
73. Can I honestly communicate my needs with my partner/friends/family
members?
74. Do I hide parts of myself from my partner or closest friends?
75. What don’t I want others to know about me?
Bring your shadow into the light
Self-reflection is an important part of knowing yourself and setting goals that
reflect your values. Use exercises like shadow work prompts, journaling, and
the Johari window model to explore your inner world. The more self-
awareness you develop, the better decision-maker you’ll become. And when
you make choices and behave in ways that represent your core values, you
live a more fulfilling life.
8 General Self-Awareness Activities for
Adults
Understanding yourself better can show you what you want (and don’t) in all
aspects of your life and how these needs intersect. To get a clearer view of
who you are in a broad sense, use the following self-awareness worksheets,
activities, and ideas:
1. Journaling
Journaling is the act of writing down your thoughts. You can write about
your day, process anxiety, or use a self-discovery prompt to get the ink
flowing. Be as honest and unbounded as possible as you write, pouring
out a stream of consciousness. Make observations later and reflect on
what you wrote. Tracking trends and themes over time can make you
more aware of your triggers, insecurities, and abilities.
3. Mindfulness
Practicing mindfulness means centering yourself in the present moment.
And doing so on a regular basis can improve your self-awareness and
help you manage stress.Scan your body for feelings, tension, and
relaxation. Attune to your surroundings, activating your senses —-
listening to your environment or how the breeze feels on your skin.
You’ll discover where you hold stress in the body and how you return to
a more relaxed, aware state when stress recedes.
4. Self-awareness questions
Use self-discovery questions to explore yourself, whether you prefer to
write them down or ponder them in quiet moments. Try “What motivates
me?” or “How would I describe myself to others?” The answers to these
questions likely already live inside of you, and you can quickly gain
some self-awareness by extracting them .
4. Grounding techniques
Grounding yourself brings you into the present moment during moments of
stress or anxiety. Try using a grounding sheet to write down the things you feel
when you need to escape ruminating thoughts. You could also visualize your
thoughts floating away, directing your attention to a feeling, or focusing on an
object. This practice can make you more aware of your feelings and help
you manage stress.
5. Therapy or coaching
Working with a mental health professional or coach is an excellent way to learn
more about yourself. In therapy, a trained psychologist will help you unpack
past experiences and understand your behaviors. Some will provide tools
for regulating emotions and shifting reactions.
In coaching, you’ll tap into your inner motivations and receive pointed support in
creating a plan to make changes. You’ll set goals for self-awareness and outline a
clear path toward self-improvement , focusing on the future rather than the past.
6. Vision boards
Vision boards are virtual or physical spaces that you fill with inspiring images or
phrases. These tools can help you visualize an ideal future in every aspect — from
professional pursuits to places you hope to travel. Making a vision board puts you in
touch with your desires and can help you decide what your goals are .
7. “The 3 whys”
“The 3 whys” is an activity that encourages you to push deeper into what you
already know or feel . When you encounter a situation you’re unsure how you feel
about, ask “why” three times or until you reach the root cause of your feelings.
If you have an interaction that felt off with your boss and are unsure how to interpret
your reaction, ask yourself why you think you felt that way. Suppose your response
is that your boss’ feedback felt too harsh. Ask yourself why you felt it was. Perhaps
it highlighted an insecurity you already have. With that self-knowledge, you can
approach future conversations with more clarity.
8. “Who am I?” worksheets
A “Who am I?” exercise is a tool therapists use to help their clients self-evaluate,
and you can download a worksheet version to explore on your own. In this activity,
you’ll first determine the critical parts of your identity, like being a software
developer, a compassionate person, or an amateur painter. You’ll then write what
each of these aspects of your personality means to you, learning to value who you
already are.
4 self-awareness activities at work
It’s normal to feel like your work life needs a boost. You might want to improve your
professional relationships, get a raise or promotion, or even shift careers . Practicing
self-awareness at uncertain times can help you understand your dissatisfactions
and desires. Here are four work-specific exercises:
9. Workplace personality tests
Workplace personality tests like CliftonStrengths or the Whole Person
Assessment help you understand how you prefer to work and what assignments you
thrive in. If you’re considering making a move in your career, whether up the ladder
or to a different role, becoming more aware of your abilities can help you choose a
route you’ll succeed in.
10. Goal-setting
Professional goal-setting allows you to identify changes you hope to make and
routes to achieve them, making this activity an incredibly effective tool for someone
feeling burnt out or lost. You can set daily, monthly, or even yearly goals to tackle
development opportunities and get to know yourself better.
11. Performance reviews
Performance reviews are constructive feedback sessions that can help you
understand strengths and areas for self-improvement. Take your next performance
review conversation as an opportunity to gain awareness about yourself with help
from an outside perspective. You could also use the Johari window model to help
others identify your character traits.
3 self-awareness activities for students
If you’re getting a master’s degree or considering furthering your education, self-
awareness exercises can help you pick a major or school. These self-discovery
activities can help you explore future pathways and recognize your strengths in an
educational setting:
12. “Sparks”
This activity refers to your interests, skills, and talents — in other words, your
“spark.” If you’re feeling lost and need a reminder of what your personal strengths
are, you can download a guide to try this exercise. Questions include, “What would
you do for the rest of your life if you could only do one thing?” or “When do you feel
happiest?”
13. Self-compliments
When you’re starting self-discovery , you might feel self-conscious or experience a
lack of self-esteem . Just like how the “sparks” activity can help you acknowledge
your talents, giving yourself compliments can remind you what you love about
yourself. Examples of self-awareness affirmations you might write include “I’m great
at math,” “I’m kind to my friends,” or “I like my sense of style.”
14. Thoughts-actions-feelings circles
A thoughts-actions-feelings circle encourages you to consider how what you think
leads to behaviors, which lead to emotional reactions and, finally, more thoughts.
When thoughts are negative, the resulting actions and feelings are, too.
Outlining your behavioral patterns in this circle teaches you to be more aware of the
impacts of your thoughts. With practice, it can help you intentionally think positively.
3 other resources to increase self-awareness skills
You don’t always have to look inward to perform self-discovery . Others’ stories and
insights can also help you learn about yourself. When you empathize and identify
with others’ narratives, you locate the similarities in yours, learning more about
yourself in the process. Here are three outward-looking tools for fostering personal
development:
15. TED Talks
TED Talks, which are engaging short-form lectures from experts on everything from
leadership to creativity, inspire conversation, ideas, and change. You can find talks
on nearly every topic, so you can choose to watch a few on something you want to
learn about yourself.
If you’re an entrepreneur struggling to launch a business, listen to an inspiring TED
talk from an innovator. It could remind you to take lessons from an unexpected
aspect of your life, like parenting, or lean into your vulnerability .
16. Podcasts
There’s a podcast on virtually every topic, making them an excellent resource if you
wish to explore new interests and learn more about yourself. Listen to a mental-
health-focused show to better understand the inner workings of your negative
thoughts, or find one about self-confidence and how to love your future self. Insights
from self-aware people can give you the problem-solving skills you need to curb
biases and check in with yourself.
17. BetterUp articles
BetterUp’s blog contains a wealth of articles on well-being and the workplace.
These articles can address questions like how to establish a better work-life
balance, improve your inner dialogue, or develop an intentional self-care routine .
They’re your guide as you explore yourself.
Make self-awareness a habit
When you reach roadblocks in your life, self-awareness activities can help you
explore the problem and learn how to use your strengths to overcome it. But you
can, and should, make self-reflection a regular practice, even when things are going
well.
Ask yourself what’s working and acknowledge the value of the positive aspects of
your life. You’ll improve emotional intelligence and decision-making skills —
fostering a lifestyle and interactions that align with your desires and needs.
