Dance with your

shadow

Written by: LeQuitta Randolph

 * How to use this book *

Shadow work can get messy, its rough,

but establishing a relationship with
all of yourself is very rewarding, and
at the very least by the end of this
book, you will know why you react to
some of the things that you do,
when/why it all started, and you'll
naturally become more aware of
yourself.

When answering the questions be as

honest as you can. If you cannot form
or think of full sentences, simply
write the word or words that come to
mind when you read the question.
 CHOOSE A PAGE AT
RANDOM, AND ANSWER
THE QUESTION(S),
READ OVER WHAT YOU
READ? HOW DO YOU
FEEL?
CRYSTALS THAT ARE
GOOD TO HAVE WITH
THIS BOOK:
 *How the shadow is formed*

Your shadow, just like the shadow you

see when the sun is high in the sky,
is very much apart of you. Meaning you
can deny this aspect, but that will
not make yourself go away. Only
temporary, through suppression, but it
will eventually show. Think of your
shadow self as innocent. All it ever
did was exist and people came about
telling you that it's not okay to be
who you are, so you split yourslef
into two. You and your shadow.
 You, are all the traits your
parents, society, and your
environment deem acceptable.
Your shadow traits like envy,
anger, sadness, greed etc,
traits that someone made you
feel it was not okay to express
in this manner. Thus the
creation of the shadow self.

This integration of self is

the balance of life, like yin
and yang. Two necessary parts
of and in life. When you deny
your shadows needs thus begins
triggers.
 What are triggers?

A trigger is a reminder of a past

trauma. This reminder may also be
commonly known as a flashback. The
trigger may cause you to become
overwhelmed with fear, anxiety,
panic and frustration.
There are two different types of
triggers. The one I am talking
about is the trigger from a past
traumatic experience.
 What are triggers?

The other type of trigger is an

emotional trigger. This is when
you run into a controversial
topic like abortion, the topic
naturally sets some people off,
and that is okay. It is okay to
feel upset about things you do
not agree with, or with viewing
extreme content.
Think of triggers as a healing
wound, when you are triggered,
you reopen that wound again.
 What is shadow work?

Shadow work is the process of exploring

every part of yourself, that has been
disowned, repressed and rejected. It is
one of the most authentic paths to
enlightenment.

Shadow work is letting go of who you

should be, so you can be who you
actually are.
 "Unless you learn to face your own
shadows, you will continue to see
them in others because the world
outside of you, is only a
reflection of the world inside you"
-Loner Wolf
 DISCLAIMER
These questions are not meant to make you feel
judged in anyway. Asking yourself, and
answering these questions is a great way to
better address certain triggered areas in your
life.

This only works if you are as honest as

possible.

I am not a psychologist or therapist, these

questions will definately open the door to
some hefty emotions,but should you ever need
serious help in any way, please seek necessary
help.
Be honest, do you think
you are ugly? Why?
When did you first begin
to feel ugly?
How would you describe
ugly?
How often do you compare
your body, life, bank
status to other people?
How does that make you
feel?
What are you afraid of?
How do you feel when someone
gives you a compliment?
 How do you feel when someone
offers you help? Do you accept
help or pass?
How do you feel when someone does
something nice for you?
If someone tries to confront
you with a problem they have
with you, what is your first
reaction? Do you immediately
get defesive? Why?
When someone disagrees with you
or your ideas, what is your
reaction? How does it make you
feel? Why?
 Codependency looks like:

Attracts emotionally unavailable

partners.

Attracts Narcissists and tolerates

toxicity, people pleases, fixes,
rescues, hyper vigilance and lives on
high alert.

Struggles to set boundaries.

Fear of rejection or abandonment.

Feels they need to earn love

.
"proves" they are worthy of love.
Low self-worth and low self-esteem
 How to do shadow work
Shadow work is the understanding
of your unconscious desires and
patterns

Cultivate
Question
Self
yourself
Awareness

Get
some
fresh air
Practice
gratitude
 Give yourself time to make sense
of all the floating pieces. There
is no need to rush things into
place. Observve your options, and
then ask yourself: What truly
feels right for me? The answers
will come. Trust and believe.
 When you cannot control what is
happening, challenge yourself to
control the way you respond to what
is happening. That is where your
power is.
Your mind is either your best
friend or your worst enemy
-Karen Waddell
 Do you sabotage
opportunities, relationships
friendships and or jobs? In
what way and why?
 How does it make you feel
seeing or hearing someone
talk about their sucess? Why?
I AM NOT BEAUTIFUL LIKE YOU.
I AM BEAUTIFUL LIKE ME.
Has your fear ever stopped you from
doing something you wanted to do?
What was it? How did it make you
feel? Whats stopping you from doing
it now?
 "MY RECIPE FOR LIFE IS NOT
BEING AFRAID OF MYSELF, NOT
BEING AFRAID OF WHAT I THINK
OR OF MY OPINIONS"
-EARTHA KITT
 "GETTING YOUR SHXT TOGETHER
REQUIRES A LEVEL OF HONESTY, YOU
CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE. AIN'T
NOTHING EASY ABOUT REALIZING YOU
ARE THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN HOLDING
YOU BACK THID WHOLE TIME, THAT
YOUR LACK OF DISCIPLINE IS THE
ANSWER TO SOME OF THOSE "WHY NOT
ME" QUESTIONS YOU ASK."
-GTB
 How do you handle rejection?
How do you feel whenn you are
told "no"?
 Do you make time for
yourself? Do you feel guilty
when you treat yourself or do
anything for yourself?
Without Google, What is love to
you?
 Self care is also:

Not arguing with people who are

committed to misunderstanding you.

Not trying to change people by

lowering your frequency to meet
them on their level.

Standing in your own frequency and

letting people rise up to meet you.
-B.C
 What does intamacy mean to
you? How does that word/topic
make you feel? Why?
How do you feel about asking
for help?
Do you hold grudges against
people that could be let go?
Why do you hold on to them?
 What emotions do you try to
avoid?

Why are you afraid to let yourself

feel that way?
 What has fear held you back
from?

Do you blame yourself or others?

 Which villian do you most
relate to?

What aspects of you did you base

this on?
What friendship/relationships
do you hold onto that are
unhealthy?

Why do you hold them?

What are your bad habits?

Why don't you break

them?
If you could get rid of one
memory, which would you
choose?

How would this effect you?

What are you holding onto
that's hurting you?
When things are going wrong,
what is your reaction(cry,
rage etc.) Why?
 Breathing exercises can help you
cope anxiety, stress, fear and
more, clearing and calming the mind
so that it is free from anxiety,
fearful and negative thoughts.

*Breathing exercises to try*

Slowly inhale for 5 seconds

Hold for 5 seconds
Slowly exhale 5 seconds
 *Breathing exercises to try*

8-4-7 Breathing
Exhale deeply, loudly through your
mouth for 8 seconds(count down not
up)
Inhale through your nose for 4
seconds(count up to 4 not down from
4)
Hold for 7 seconds(count down)
Repeat until you feel calm
 I AM MAGIC AND POWER,
I AM HERE TO LIVE, LAUGH,
LOV, CELEBRATE, EXPAND,
AND CONTRIBUTE.
I AM MAGIC AND I AM
POWER AND IN THIS
REMEMBERANCE,
I AM FREE!
 I COMPOSE MY OWN VIBRATION.
EMOTIONS HAPPEN, BUT FEELINGS
ARE FED.
I HONOR WHAT MY EMOTIONS HAVE
COME TO TELL ME AND I
EMBRACE MY POWER TO FEED THE
FEELING THAT I WANT TO STICK
WITH.
I AM THE COMPOSER OF INNER
HARMONY.
REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE WATER
CRY. CLEANSE. FLOW. LET GO.
REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE FIRE
BURN. TAME. ADAPT.IGNITE.
REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE AIR
OBSERVE. BREATHE. FOCUS.
DECIDE.
REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE EARTH
GROUND. GIVE. BUILD. HEAL.
REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE SPIRIT
CONNECT. LISTEN. KNOW. BE
STILL.
 TAKE A MOMENT

I WOKE UP
I HAVE CLOTHES TO
WEAR
I HAVE RUNNING WATER.
I HAVE FOOD TO EAT.
LIFE IS GOOD
I HAVE A ROOF OVER MY
HEAD.

I AM THANKFUL.
 Stop telling your sadness

"GO AWAY. I DON'T FUCKING

WANT YOU HERE!!"

Start asking it
"What do I need to learn from
you?"
 When we experience a shame
reaction, we tend to respond in
one of three ways:

1. We run, hide and disconnect

from ourselves and others.
2. We attack the person who made
us feel shame to try to gain
control.
3. We move towards shame through
understanding, vulnerability
and connection.
 When we repress and deny things
about ourselves, they do not
disappear. Instead they can grow in
power and cause us difficulties.
How do you react when someone
you do not know piss you off?
Why? How do you react when a
family member piss you off? Why?

How do you handle a family member

disrespecting you?
 Recall as far back as you can,
when is the fisrt time you felt
unsafe?
What happened? Where were you? How
old?

What do you do now to feel

safe? What do you find
comfort in?
 When you see a happy couple or
family how do you feel?

When in a relationship, how do you

feel when your partner mentions
anything about the opposite sex?
Why does that make you feel that
way?
When things are going so good for
you,
do you tend to look for possible
things that could go wrong?

If a group of friends start

laughing as you are walking past,
do you feel insecure? Why or why
not
How judged do you feel on a daily
basis?

Explore how much of that perceived

judgement is real and how much is
imagined
 When you have an idea, do you run
it by a few friends to get their
opinion first, and if they do not
like or understand it, you will not
pursue, or do you take action and
see where it leads to? What is your
reaction and why
How do you feel about your mother?
Father? Why?
When we repress and deny
things about ourselves,
they do not disappear.
Instead they can grow in
power and cause us
difficulties.
 Signs you need shadow work
-High anxiety and impulsive
-Dwelling on the past
-Low self esteem
-Constant, recurring negative
thoughts
-Gossiping about others
-Lack introspection
 What's the one thing you
know you need to do but keep
avoiding?
 The dark side of you The dark
side of you is all the things
you bury deep inside of you.
Both positive and negative, it
represents out deepest fears and
insecurities as well as your
unrealized potential aka your
"hidden potential". Your
challenges and weaknesses that
you have, but do not want to
acknowledge or address are
within this darkness, as well as
the gifts and talents that you
hide from the world out of fear
of rejection and criticism.
"Everything that irritates us about
others, can lead us to a better
understanding of ourselves."
-Carl Jung
 YOUR SHADOW IS HERE FOR A REASON.
NOT SO MUCH TO TERRIFY OR IN, BUT
TO HELP YOU VALIDATE YOU BUT TO
HELP YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE AFRAID OF,
AND TO TEACH YOU HOW TO TAME YOUR
FEAR
-HELEN ROSENEN
 BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE;
YOU'LL END UP HAVING MORE, IF YOU
FOCUS ON WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE, YOU
WILL NEVER, EVER HAVE ENOUGH.
HEY WARRIOR

KEEP GOING
 I ACCEPT MYSELF AS I AM IN THIS
MOMENT.
I AM FILLED WITH IDEAS AND THOUGHTS
THAT WILL LEAD TO ABUNDANCE.
I TRUST MYSELF.
I DO NOT LIMIT MY BELIEFS, SUCCESS
OR WORTH.
I HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE MY
STORY.
I USE MY MISTAKES AS STEPPING
STONES.
I ALLOW MYSELF TO BE HAPPY.
I AM SELF-RELIANT.
I AM CREATIVE .
I AM PERSISTANT.
 "Depression you gave me the rope
and dared me to end my suffering.
You talked me out of amazing
moments in life. I allowed you to
steal my joy, my light and my
energy. Unreal thoughts, false
rejection. I'm scrambled inside,
confusing day from night, time is
flying by but I am detatched and
cold, and all I know is I am alone.
They say they are there for me,
just call if you need me, but
speaking isn't easy. Depression
doesn't want company so I'll walk
the mile cold and alone. I looked
at my reflection and saw a weak and
fragile being, how could this be
me." -L.R
 WHAT YOUR EMOTIONS ARE SAYING;
BITTERNESS-SHOWS YOU WHERE YOU NEED
TO HEAL, WHERE YOU'RE STILL HOLDING
JUDGMENTS ON OTHERS AND YOURSELF.
RESENTMENT-SHOWS YOU WHERE YOU'RE
LIVING IN THE PAST, AND NOT ALLOWING
THE PRESENT TO BE AS IT IS.
DISCOMFORT-SHOWS YOU THAT YOU NEED TO
PAY ATTENTION RIGHT NOW TO WHAT IS
HAPPENING, BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING GIVEN
THE OPPORTUNITY TO CHANGE,TO DO
SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN YOU
TYPICALLY DO IT.
ANGER-SHOWS WHAT YOU'RE PASSIONATE
ABOUT, WHERE YOUR BOUNDARIES ARE, AND
WHAT YOU BELIEVE NEEDS TO CHANGE IN
THE WORLD.
DISAPPOINTMENT-SHOWS THAT YOU TRIED
FOR SOMETHING, THAT YOU DID NOT
GIVE INTO APATHY, THAT YOU STILL
CARE.
GUILT-SHOWS YOU THAT YOU'RE STILL
LIVING LIFE IN OTHER PEOPLE'S
EXPECTATIONS OF WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.
SHAME-SHOWS YOU THAT YOU ARE
INTERNALIZING OTHER PEOPLE'S
BELIEFS ABOUT WHO YOU SHOULD BE(OR
WHO YOU ARE)AND THAT YOU NEED TO
RECONNECT WITH YOURSELF.
ANXIETY-SHOWS YOU THAT YOU NEED TO
WAKE UP, RIGHT NOW, AND THAT YOU
NEED TO BE PRESENT, THAT YOU ARE
STUCK IN THE PAST AND LIVING IN
FEAR OF THE FUTURE.
 "Our shadows hold the essence of
who we are. They hold our most
treasured gifts. By facing these
aspects of ourselves, we become
free to experience our glorious
totality; the good and the bad, the
dark and the light."- Debbie Ford