Shadow

Magic
A SHADOW WORK
GUIDEBOOK

TAYLOR AELINA
 Dear Soul,
I'm of the belief that we're all infinite,
spiritual beings having a temporary
human experience. We have WAY
more power within us than we are
conditioned to believe. There are
pieces of us that get buried &
forgotten as we travel through out this
life. This guide is meant to help you
uncover those parts of yourself to
understand the whole of who you are.
.
Earth is our playground where we get to feel the warmth of the sun
caressing our skin. We experience the feeling of a belly laugh so deep, we
nearly piss our pants. It's the place where we get to explore our deepest
desires and a beautiful rainbow of emotions. Earth also happens to be a
school that facilitates our souls' higher education. It teaches the lessons we
need for our individual & collective growth. Sometimes in life, you're the kid
at recess trading Pokemon cards & eating pudding cups. Other times you're
the kid getting smacked in the face with a dodge ball, or being laughed at
because you got double-dog dared to lick a pile of ants. Earth is a space of
duality. There's a contrast between the light & the shadow, masculine &
feminine, inhale & exhale. Both sides of the coin are equally important, yet
as a society, we're taught that one is better than the other. We're taught to
fear the unknown and never peak into the dark. Yet, there is so much
opportunity for expansion and growth when we decide to befriend our
shadows instead of painting them as monsters.

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@TAYLORAELINA
What is the shadow?

Your shadow consists of the hidden

Ever wonder
part of you that you can't see. They're
considered “undesirable”, “dark”, why you....
“unworthy” or “unlovable” by society.
They get labeled as such by cultural Eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s in one sitting?

conditioning, your family, peers at

school, religious upbringing, teachers,
Always have one too many drinks?
self-talk, etc. These parts remain
unhealed and can be extremely
uncomfortable for us to acknowledge, Scroll through social media for hours?

experience, and accept.

Don't always follow through with things?

From a young age you start to
psychically cut off parts of yourself.
Separating from your best self i.e. Attract emotionally unavailable people?
kindness, courage, & your sense of
humor. And you dis-identifying from
Feel resentful or angry?
your worst i.e. jealousy, rage, pettiness.
This surgery of the soul happens so we
can be accepted, fit in, and be "normal". Blow up at seemingly small things?
When these get severed from your
being, they get tucked away. Lurking
Have a hard time with boundaries?
below the surface, waiting to leak out
into your life any chance they get.

That my dear, is your shadow waiting to be noticed.

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@TAYLORAELINA
What is the shadow?

Examples of Shadow
Aspects
Anger or rage Jealousy & pettiness

Suppressed shame or guilt Loses identity in relationships

Trouble expressing your sexuality Feelings of abandonment

Overly sexual Feels alienated or misunderstood

Trouble being vulnerable Struggles with depression

Oversharing Anxiety

Overly competitive Overly rebellious

Perfectionism Takes destructive risks

Suppressed creativity Overly compliant

Judgmental of self or others Always plays it safe

Trouble expressing emotions Victim mindset

Difficulties with intimacy Have a hard time asking for what you

Has a hard time taking action need

Always in your head Addiction (it comes in many forms:

Issues with boundaries food, drugs, alcohol, shopping, social

Tries to uphold the "good girl" image media, sex, video games, nicotine)

Negative reaction to not getting your

way

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Creating the shadow
Your shadow starts in childhood,
according to psychologists. Based
off my experience with shadow
work, your shadow can start as
early as the womb. This is because
there is a powerful energetic
exchange that occurs with our
biological mothers while we are
developing & being carried in the
womb for 9 months.

While these earlier points are typically the starting space for our shadows,
not all shadows are created this early. Sometimes they’re born through our
adolescence, teenage years, and adulthood. These shadow aspects can
come from toxic relationships, toxic friendships, family situations, abuse or
assault, a global pandemic, being bullied, not having our needs met, etc.

As humans, we have basic needs that have to be met for our survival. These
include physiological needs, safety & security, and a need to belong. As kids,
we more freely express ourselves without fear of judgement, until we receive
cues from our environment that suggest we should do otherwise. If we
expressed traits that were viewed positively, we got praise & felt
acceptance. When we expressed traits that were viewed negatively, we got
punished physically, verbally, or sometimes ignored. We are hardwired for
survival and in order to survive, our brain likes to avoid the pain, whether it
be emotional or physical.

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Creating the shadow
For Example,
When you didn’t get your way as a child and expressed anger through a
tantrum, you more than likely got sent to your room, spanked, or yelled at by
your parents. Your brain created the the view that anger is a potential threat
to your need for safety and security. Therefore as an adult, you might have
a hard time expressing anger because it was viewed as a negative
behavior. This may cause you to shove it down until it boils to the top and
you end up exploding at the Starbucks guy over a forgotten straw. As
children we unconsciously assess our situation, then adjust our behaviors to
make sure our needs are satisfied. The traits that get rejected & tossed out
of our awareness lead to the creation of the shadow self.

Just as we can feel rejected as children, we can often sense energetic

rejection or stress when we are in the womb. The type of connection you
had to your mother in the womb is very powerful, regardless of your
relationship now. We know that everything that a woman consumes on a
physical level effects the development of her baby. The same goes for her
energetic and emotional state. If the conception or pregnancy term was
accidental or unwanted, your mother was in life-threatening or dangerous
situations, she was young, there were complications with the pregnancy or
birth, you were a twin & the other twin died in utero, your mother was
assaulted, abused, abandoned etc., these all left an energetic imprint. Just
as you can imprint emotions like love & joy by talking to a baby in the
womb, feelings of fear, anger, grief, guilt, shame, or abandonment can also
be imprinted while in the womb.

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 What is shadow work?

the process of exploring the hidden depths of your subconscious and spirit. By
doing this work, you create space to be able to live more freely, authentically,
and deeply connected to who you ACTUALLY are. By bringing the shadow to the
surface, you can explore it and integrate it's positive attributes into who you are.

You already posses the skills to see the
shadows in others. One time or
another you've noticed a friend harshly
judging someone's appearance. It
probably made you feel awkward or
uncomfortable but you chalked it up to
their own insecurities. What your friend
was doing is called "projection". And
you were able to observe them
projecting their shadow onto someone
else. It's much easier to see the
shadow from an outside perspective,
but the difficulty lies in being able to
recognize these shadow aspects in
yourself. The shadow can be elusive
and your natural defenses are
designed to keep your shadow
repressed and out of sight.
Awareness & Honesty
That's why awareness and
honesty are so important. You
have to have a certain level of
self-awareness and be ready &
willing to be deeply honest with
yourself. This is the key to going
farther than you've gone before.
Awareness of your shadow is the
first, and sometimes more difficult
step. You can't explore something
further if you aren't aware of it's
existence in the first place. A lot of
these prompts and exercises will
help you gain greater awareness
so you can dive deeper within
yourself.

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 What is shadow work?

a practice. It's something that you will do again and again. That's because life is
constantly changing and so are you. Think of yourself as a computer and
shadow work as your software updates. You need them to run smoothly, and you
know that this won't be the only update your computer will ever need.

The only constant in life is change.

Observation & Compassion
Even when it feels like you're "stuck" just
remember; we live on a giant rock
hurling through space, so we are
ALWAYS in motion (even if it doesn't
feel like it). Change doesn't always
have to be balls-to-the-wall. It can be
subtle, gradual, and sometimes
undetectable while it's occurring.
Change can also be messy, dramatic,
and painful. Take caterpillars for
example. They have to break
themselves down completely, through
a digestive enzyme, before they can
emerge as a butterfly. If you were to
cut open a cocoon during this process,
you'd reveal a less-than- appetizing
caterpillar soup.
Think of yourself as caterpillar soup
while you're going through shadow
work. You're going to be fragile and
liquid on the inside even though you
have a crisp shell on the outside.
Cultivating self-compassion is a
critical component for shadow work.
You're bringing parts of yourself that
you didn't know existed to the light.
You might find things that you don't
really like about yourself. Being able
to observe without judgement is
going to keep you sane during this
process. Your mental health is top
priority, so make sure you're showing
yourself some love and kindness.

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 What is shadow work?

uncomfortable, painful, and honestly kinda brutal. If you're not going into the
gut-wrenching depths, you're not doing it right. With that being said all of the
answers you're seeking often lie within this space. You know how in every movie
about finding treasure there's always a dramatic adventure? Yeah, this is it.

Shadow work is typically done through

questioning our thoughts, feelings,
assumptions, beliefs, and emotion.
We'll dive into questions like: Why do
you believe this? Why do you feel this
way about this situation? And so forth.
Shadow work can take many forms
and not every form suits every person
or even every shadow. Some
modalities of working with &
integrating the shadow include:
Journaling
Meditation
Breath work
Mirror work
Therapy
EFT tapping
Hypnosis
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Centered & Neutral
It's important that you start your
shadow work centered in yourself
and in a neutral state of mind. This is
where meditation will be your friend.
If you are in a pretty fragile or
emotional state, save the shadow
work for another day. Shadow work
will crack you wide-open and expose
some very vulnerable parts of you.
It's a good idea to find ways to
ground yourself & keep centered.
Again, shadow work is never easy,
especially when it involves trauma. If
exploring your shadow brings about
pain, suffering, or fear that you feel
you can't handle, seeking a
professional can be helpful.
Shadow work tips
Pay attention to reoccurring thoughts and patterns.
Shadow work starts by observing your instinctual habits and patterns.
This includes your everyday habits, patterns, thoughts, emotional
reactions, and responses. What do you notice about these patterns?
What can you learn from these patterns? How often do they occur?
Are they related to anything else?

Get out of your head & review.

Our brains are working overtime these days. So when you notice a
pattern or start making certain connections in your head, record them
so you don't forget or miss any cues. Use the note pad or voice memo
app on your phone for this. Getting everything out of your head is an
important step because it allows you to go back later and review it
from a more objective perspective. This is where some of your biggest
breakthroughs might come from. If you have an opposition to this, ask
yourself "why is there resistance around getting out of my head?"

Print this out or do the prompts in a separate journal.

Shadow work journaling works well in a stream of consciousness way.
Whatever words want to come out onto the paper, let them. Don't
worry about your handwriting, if what you're writing makes sense, or if
it's on topic. Just write out as much as you can. Try not to censor what
you're writing and don't stop to edit anything. If you can't go deep
enough on a question, ask what's stopping you? The point of shadow
work is to question everything so you can find out why you do what you
do.

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Shadow work tips
While you journal...
At the end of these prompts it's going to be helpful to read back what
you wrote. Do this immediately after writing, then do it again when
you're in a different head space. I usually do this second review a few
hours later, the next day, or sometimes even a week later. This will help
you reflect back and make more objective connections. Look for
keywords, different tonalities, patterns in your voice or handwriting, and
other patterns in your answers.

What can you learn from your answers? What lessons are hidden
between the lines? What can be said for the words you left out or didn't
say? Do the words you write convey how you actually feel? Why or why
not? If not, what's holding you back from writing how you truly feel?

If you censored yourself, go back and answer the questions again until
your answers align with how you ACTUALLY feel about that topic or
question. If you felt like you had to respond a certain way, what made
you feel like that? Where else in your life do you notice you do this?

Practice deep breathing and/or mediating on the questions and

answers. Notice what sensations you feel in your body as you answer
or read back your responses. Take some deep breaths and allow them
to be there and write these down too. If a certain phrase, word, or
response triggers a certain emotional reaction, ask yourself what about
it is triggering? Then allow it to be present in your body.

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Shadow work tips
After you journal...
Give yourself some space to come back to where you're at. Have
some grounding and self-soothing tactics on hand that you can rely
on. Shadow work can be hard on us and sometimes make us feel a
little ungrounded or overwhelmed at times. You're dealing with a lot of
emotions, so be gentle with yourself.

You can cuddle up in a blanket and listen to your favorite songs, eat a
healthy snack, sit outside in nature, go for a walk, take a bath, or talk to
a friend, family member, or other trusted individual about your
experiences (if you feel comfortable doing so).

Have a go-to affirmation or mantra that makes you feel good when
you repeat it. Something light, encouraging, positive, or comforting. Be
sure to repeat this after your shadow work session to practice some
self-compassion. It can be really easy to fall into being hard on
yourself after a shadow work session.

Practice forgiving yourself and others (when you're ready to do so)

after shadow work. Most people, yourself included, do the best they
can with the level of resources, awareness, and knowledge that they
had at the time. This doesn't make excuses for anyone, but it makes it
easier for you to let go and be kind to yourself.

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@TAYLORAELINA
 Let's get it!
Getting ready to go deep!!!!
I've found that music & the breath have a profound way of wiggling
out suppressed emotions, sensations, and memories. Things in the
brain that you might have trouble accessing otherwise. Before you sit
down to write each prompt I'd like you to:

Be in a space where you will feel

comfortable crying, can let your guard
Have a safe space down, and will be undisturbed. If you're
not comfortable, you might have trouble
going as far as you'd like.

Turn off your notifications and just be

Get rid of distractions with yourself, your breath, your thoughts
and the music.

Set a timer for about 1 minute. Breathe in

through the nose, hold for the count of 4,
and exhale through the mouth. Repeat
Connect to the breath until the timer goes off. As you breathe,
focus on how the breath feels moving
through your body. Creating space for
emotions and thoughts to flow.

Find music Find music that gets you in your feels. If

Click the record icon to go to the spotify playlist
you can't think of any, I have created a
shadow work playlist that you can use.
Music and healing go hand in hand, but
the music that brings out emotions for
you might be different than what works
for me.

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Journal Prompts
Day 1
When was the last time you were dishonest with SOMEONE ELSE?
(Describe the scenario)
How did it feel in the moment?
How does it feel looking back?
Why did you feel the need to be dishonest?

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Journal Prompts
Day 2
Going back to Day 1's prompt, how do you think the situation would
have played out if you had been more honest?
Would it change the outcome, why or why not?
What would being more honest with others look like?
How would that change your relationships with others?

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Journal Prompts
Day 3
When was the last time you were dishonest with YOURSELF?
(Describe the scenario)
How did it feel in the moment?
How does it feel looking back?
Why did you feel the need to be dishonest with yourself?

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Journal Prompts
Day 4
Going back to Day 3's prompt, how do you think the situation would
have played out if you had been more honest?
Would it change the outcome, why or why not?
What would being more honest with yourself look like?
How would that change your relationship with yourself & others?

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Journal Prompts
Day 5
When was the last time you trusted your intuition?
Was it correct? How do you know?
How does it feel looking back?
Do you always trust your intuition? Why or why not?
What can you do to trust it more?

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Journal Prompts
Day 6
What are some of the best parts of your life right now? Describe them.
What are your underlying fears around them?
Why do you think those fears are there?
Do these fears serve you, why or why not?
What would it feel like if those fears weren't there?

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Journal Prompts
Day 7
When was the last time you did something you didn't want to do?
Why did you do it? What would happen if you didn't do it?
How did you feel in the moment? How do you feel about it now?
What effect did this have on everyone involved?
Would you do anything different should this situation arise again?

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Journal Prompts
Day 8
When was the last time you felt vulnerable (Describe the scenario)?
What did that feel like? Where did you feel it in your body?
How did the other person respond?
Was it the response you were expecting, why or why not?
How did their response make you feel? Why do you think that is?

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Journal Prompts
Day 9
What's your definition of love?
How do you personally feel about love?
What makes you feel that way about it?Has this always been your
feelings on love?
Does this serve you or does this hurt you? Why?

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Journal Prompts
Day 10
What's a trait you have that could be viewed as "negative"?
When does it come out & how often?
Describe the last time it came out, what was that like?
Can you see a positive aspect about this trait?Why or why not?
What would it look like if it was "positive"?

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Journal Prompts
Day 11
Describe the last time you manipulated a person or situation to get
what you wanted. How did that situation turn out?
How did you feel about it at the time?
How do you feel about it now?
What can you learn from this?

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Journal Prompts
Day 12
What person in your life are you the closest to? Describe your
relationship with them.
What do you like most about them?
What irritates you the most about them?
Why do you think these things bother you, are you projecting?

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Journal Prompts
Day 13
What person in your life do you wish you were closer with?
(Describe your relationship).
Why are you not as close as you'd like to be?
What part do they have in this?
What part do you have in this?

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Journal Prompts
Day 14
Describe your relationship with food & how you feel about it.
Is this a healthy relationship, why or why not?
What would you like to change about this?
What's stopping you from changing it?

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Journal Prompts
Day 15
Describe your mother or mother figure.
Read that description out loud to yourself.
How does this description make you feel?
What tone is this description in? (happy, sad, angry, etc.)
Is there anything you wish you could change about this? Why?

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Journal Prompts
Day 16
Describe your father or father figure.
Read that description out loud to yourself.
How does this description make you feel?
What tone is this description in? (happy, sad, angry, etc.)
Is there anything you wish you could change about this? Why?

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Journal Prompts
Day 17
Describe your siblings.
Read that description out loud to yourself.
How does this description make you feel?
What tone is this description in? (happy, sad, angry, etc.)
Is there anything you wish you could change about this? Why?

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Journal Prompts
Day 18
Describe yourself.
Read that description out loud to yourself.
How does this description make you feel?
What tone is this description in? (happy, sad, angry, etc.)
Is there anything you wish you could change about this? Why?

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Journal Prompts
Day 19
Describe your romantic partner or ex if you're single.
Read that description out loud to yourself.
How does this description make you feel?
What tone is this description in & why? (happy, sad, angry, etc.)
Is there anything you wish you could change about this? Why?

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Journal Prompts
Day 20
Look back at each of the descriptions from day 15-19, do you notice
any similarities, patterns, or key words?
What do these descriptions tell you about your family relationships?
What do they tell you about how you look at relationships in general?
What do they tell you about your relationship with yourself?

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Journal Prompts
Day 21
Think about the person who has hurt you the most.
What emotions does this bring up for you?
Where do you feel this in your body?
What would you like to say to them & why?
What about this situation do you hold on to & why?

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Journal Prompts
Day 22
What part of you feels the most unseen?
Why do you think this is?
What would it feel like for this part to feel seen?
What responsibility do you hold in feeling unseen here?
How could you change that? What's stopping you?

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Journal Prompts
Day 23
What was the most difficult loss you experienced this year?
What emotions come up when you think about it?
What parts do you still hold on to & why?
Do you blame yourself for any part of this, why or why not?
What would it feel like to completely let go of this?

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Journal Prompts
Day 24
Describe a time you disagreed with someone's viewpoint.
Did you voice how you felt about this? Why or why not?
Did you expect them to conform to your beliefs about this, explain?
What scares you the most about allowing others to have their own
opinion around this topic?

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Journal Prompts
Day 25
In what ways do you feel judged by others?
How much of this is true and how much of this is perceived?
Do some of these judgements stem from how you feel about yourself?
In what ways?

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Journal Prompts
Day 26
What emotions do you have a hard time expressing?
When did you first start hiding these types of emotions?
What is holding you back from expressing them?
How does holding in these emotions effect your daily life?
If you allowed yourself to express them, what would that look like?

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Journal Prompts
Day 27
Think about your childhood, what is the underlying emotion you
associate with it?
What makes you feel this way about it?
Do your parents know how you feel about your childhood?
Why or why not?

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Journal Prompts
Day 28
What do you think about emotions like sadness and anger?
What makes you feel this way about them?
Think of a time in your childhood where you expressed anger or
sadness & describe the scenario.
Looking back, what do you feel about this now?

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Journal Prompts
Day 29
What does intimacy look and feel like to you?
What emotions come up when you hear the word intimacy?
Explore those emotions and why you feel that way.
When is it "appropriate" or "not appropriate" to be intimate with
someone? Why do you feel this way?

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Journal Prompts
Day 30
Think about yourself at a time when you were at your worst. Describe
yourself and how that version makes you feel now.
What lessons would you share with that version of you?
Write a love letter to that version of yourself & read it back.
How did that feel?

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 Other Insights
Notes
Don't forget to go back, review your answers, and add any additional
observations you've made.
Use this space to write down any additional insights you've gained
from the prompts in this workbook.

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@TAYLORAELINA
 You did it,

You've gotten a taste of what it's like to

Give yourself time go deeper. Allow yourself time to
process and accept your new insights.

Blaming yourself and others doesn't do

you any good. We're all trying our best
Forgiveness with what we've got. As you reach new
levels of awareness, you have new
insights. Learn to forgive yourself.

If you have any questions on what do to

What's next? next, feel free to DM me on Instagram:
@tayloraelina or email me at
tayloraelina@lovedbytheuniverse.com

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@TAYLORAELINA