CHARISMA – The “IT” Factor

Listening Attentively Part 5

Coach Linda Hillman
Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching Group
www.destined2bu.com
coachlindahillman@destined2bu.com
Skype: coachlindahillman
Welcome
Please Introduce Yourself
AGENDA
• How Good of a
listener are you?
• Quick Quiz
• Roadblocks to
Effective Listening
• Levels Of listening
• Six Levels Of active
Listening
• Jump Start Your
Listening Skills
Are You A Good Listener?
• Make others feels
appreciated
• Save time by making less
mistakes and having less
misunderstanding
• Increase trust, incredibility
& cooperation
• Help solve problems more
quickly
Listening is…
“Listening is a commitment and a compliment. It
is a commitment to understanding how other
people feel, how they see their world”

“a compliment because it says to the other person:

I care about what’s happening to you, your life and
your experience are important.”
Matthew McKay and Martha Davis
Authors of How to Communicate
Quick Quiz
• Place a number value by A and B. Which one is
more closer to you. (i.e. if A is more your
character then place a 3 and place a 2 or 1 on B
depending on how close it is to your character.)
• At the end add up all your A responses and all
your b responses.

• What does this quiz tell you about your Listening

Skills?
Roadblocks to Effective Listening
• Listening takes effort
• Too much competition for our attention
• We think we already know what the person is
going to say
• There is a speed gap: How fast we talk and how
fast we listen
• We just don’t know how
 MORE IMPORTANT
We retain:
•10 percent of what we read
•20 percent of what we hear
•30 percent of what we see
•50 percent of what we hear and
see
•70 percent of what we say
•90 percent of what we say and do
Listening Levels
• The Non-listener
▫ Doesn’t actually hear at all
• The Marginal listener
▫ Superficial listener
• The Technical listener
▫ Actively tries to hear what the speaker is saying
• The Active listener
▫ Unquestionably at the most
powerful level of listening
Listening Levels
• The Non-listener
▫ The Know it all's
▫ Want to do it all, at least the talking
▫ Constantly interrupt
▫ must have last word
▫ Disliked or merely
tolerated
Listening Levels
• The Marginal Listener
▫ Not listening but planning what to
say
▫ They evade difficult presentations
or discussions
▫ They listen for bottom line
▫ They never truly understand
Listening Levels
• The Technical Listener
▫ Don’t make an effort to understand
speakers intent
▫ More logical listeners
▫ More concerned about content and
feeling
▫ Judge message on what’s said
Listening Levels
• The Active Listener
▫ Refrains from judging the speaker’s
message
▫ Focuses on understanding point of view
▫ Concentrates on the thoughts and
feelings of speaker (including what’s not
being said – as well as actual words)
Six Skills of ACTIVE Listening
• CARESS
▫ Concentrate
▫ Acknowledge
▫ Research
▫ Exercise
▫ Sense
▫ Structure
Six Levels of ACTIVE Listening
• Concentrate Completely on the
Speaker ONLY
▫ Take a deep breath
▫ Consciously decide to listen
▫ Mentally paraphrase what the speaker is
saying
▫ Maintain eye contact.
Six Levels of ACTIVE Listening
• Acknowledge The Speaker
▫ Eye contact
▫ Verbal responses
▫ Gestures
▫ Clarify and restate
Six Levels of ACTIVE Listening
• Researching
▫ Ask questions
▫ Give feedback
▫ Make comments
▫ Clarify and restate
Six Levels of ACTIVE Listening
• Exercise Emotional Control
▫ Pause to delay your response of reaction
▫ Think about your common areas not the
uncommon ones
▫ Imagine Yourself calm and relaxed
▫ Take action instead of reaction
Six Levels of ACTIVE Listening
• Sense The Non-Verbal Message
▫ Body language
▫ Facial expressions
▫ Voice inflections
▫ Voice tone
▫ Speed of talk
Six Levels of ACTIVE Listening
• Structure
▫ Indexing
▫ Sequencing
▫ Comparing

Listening is POWER used correctly.

Your Assignment: