The Basics of Effective

Interpersonal Communication
 What is communication?
 What do you think communication is?
How would you define it?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Four facets of communication
 Three are four facets in all types of
communication:
 Sender
 Receiver
 Information
 Behavior
 Four facets of communication
 In any communication:
 The Sender is the person trying to
communicate a message
 The Receiver is the person at whom the
message is directed
 A message is sent to convey information
 Information is meant to change behavior
 Shared symbols
 Sometimes when we communicate we
assume we are using shared symbols
when we might not be

 Think about the term “asap”, “as soon as

possible”. What does it really mean?

 Think about how the meaning might change

in the situations on the next slide…
 Shared symbols
 How might your meaning of “asap” change in
these situations?…
 Someone from another department calls. He
needs some detailed information asap; but you
are already rather busy.
 A coworker comes to you for help with an
assignment. She needs you asap; but you have
another job to finish before lunch.
 Your immediate supervisor, whom you like to
please, asks you to type a memo for her asap; but
you already have a stack of other jobs to finish.
 Shared symbols
 Someone from another department calls.
He needs some detailed information asap;
but you are already rather busy.

 In this situation, you might interpret “asap”

as “when I have finished all of my own
work and have a chance to get to it. It
might be tomorrow or the next day.”
 Shared symbols
 A coworker comes to you for help with an
assignment. She needs you asap; but you
have another job to finish before lunch.

 In this situation, you might interpret “asap”

as “after I have finished my own work, I
will help out after lunch”.
 Shared symbols
 Your immediate supervisor, whom you like
to please, asks you to type a memo for her
asap; but you already have a stack of other
jobs to finish.

 In this situation, you might interpret “asap”

as “I’ll do this now and finish my other
work afterwards”.
 Shared symbols
 In the previous examples, we’ve seen the
meaning of “asap” change from “in a few days”
to “immediately”.

 Many other words and phrases are also vague

and have different meanings for different people.

 Shared symbols are not always completely

shared. The message intended is not always the
message received.
 Why do we communicate?
 What do you think?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Why we communicate
• We communicate to:
• Share our ideas and opinions
• Provide feedback to others
• Get information from others
• Gain power and influence
• Develop social relationships
• Maintain self-expression and our culture
• and other ideas you may have thought of
 How do we communicate?
 Think of the many ways in which you
communicate…

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
How we communicate
 We communicate and build
interpersonal relationships through:
 Speech
 Writing
 Listening
 Non-verbal language
 Music, art, and crafts
 Choosing your medium
 Depending upon the situation, one method of
communication may be better than another.
 In person: one-to-one
 In person: meetings, small groups
 In person: presentations, large groups
 Letter
 Memo
 Note
 Email
 Voice mail
 Choosing your medium
 To determine the best medium for your
message determine:
 What you as the sender need to achieve
 What the receiver needs to know. What
the receiver wants to know
 How detailed, important, and or personal
the information in the message is
 Which behavior you want to influence and
how
 Choosing your medium
 How would you communicate…
 an organizational change in your unit
 the introduction of a new employee
 a change in someone’s job duties
 a reprimand
 notice of a meeting

Take a few moments to write down some of

your thoughts…
 Choosing your medium
 The best way to communicate…
 an organizational change in your unit by
memo and small group meetings
 the introduction of a new employee by
group and one-on-one meetings
 a change in someone’s job duties by
memo and one-on-one meeting
 a reprimand in a one-on-one private meeting
 notice of a meeting by memo and email
 Barriers to communication
 What are barriers to communication
that exist in any work setting?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Barriers to communication
 Some common barriers to interpersonal
communication include:
 Unclear process: The receiver and sender may not share the
same language, slang, jargon, vocabulary, symbols
 Chain of command: There may be too many layers that a
message passes through between sender and receiver
 Large size of an organization, geographic
distance: Large numbers of receivers require good message
sending methods
 Personal limitations: Physical and mental disabilities, and
differences in intelligence and education may interfere with mutual
understanding
 Barriers to communication
 Additional common barriers to
interpersonal communication include:
 Human nature: Peoples’ egos, prejudices, and traditions
can get in the way
 Conflicting feelings, goals, opinions: If people
feel on opposite sides of an issue they may not share
 Power: The idea that knowledge is power can lead to
information hoarding

 and other ideas you may have thought of

 Sharing your ideas
 Why and when is it necessary to share
your ideas?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Share your ideas to…
 State an opinion or position
 Give instructions or directions
 Announce a change
 Make presentations
 Participate in meetings
 Give information in emergencies
 Communicate the organizational mission,
vision, and values
 and other ideas you may have thought of
 Obstacles to sharing ideas
 What can make sharing ideas difficult?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Obstacles to sharing ideas…
 Your own shyness
 Fear of rejection
 Peer pressure
 Unorganized thinking
 Others possibly becoming defensive
 Physical disabilities (impaired sight, hearing, speech)
 Having to deal with aggressive people
 and others you may have thought of
 SHARE your ideas – a model
 State the main point of your message
 Highlight other important points
 Assure the receiver’s understanding
 React to how the receiver responds
 Emphasize/summarize your main ideas
SHARE – an example
State the main point of your message
“I’d like to talk to you about the new employee welcome program”.
Highlight other important points
“We need to discuss the new schedule, locations, and presenters”.
Assure the receiver’s understanding
“Do you need me to further clarify how we are making invitations”?
React to how the receiver responds
“I understand your concern about parking”.
Emphasize/summarize your main ideas
“To wrap-up, I’ll develop the schedule and make the room
reservations, if you can line up the guest speakers”.
 Getting good information
 Why is it necessary to get good
information from others?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Get good information to…
 Find out facts and details
 Get directions or instructions
 Try to understand another’s point of view
 Help someone solve a problem
 Resolve a team conflict
 Solve work problems
 and other ideas you may have thought of
 Obstacles to getting good
information
 What can make getting good
information difficult?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Obstacles to getting good
information
 Lack of trust
 Assuming you already know it all
 Jumping to conclusions
 Not valuing diverse opinions
 Weak reading skills
 Weak listening skills
 Weak questioning skills
 and other ideas you may have thought of
The power of listening
The philosopher Epictetus stressed the
power of listening in this quote:

“Nature gave us one tongue and two

ears so we could hear twice as much
as we speak.”
 Listen actively
 Prepare to listen by focusing on the speaker
 Control and eliminate distractions so that you
can focus on the message. Don’t do anything else
(writing, reading, email) but listen
 Establish appropriate eye contact to show
interest
 See listening as an opportunity to get
information, share another’s views, and broaden
your own knowledge
 Listen actively
 Create a need to listen by thinking about what you
can learn from the speaker
 Set aside the time to listen so that you won’t feel
rushed or become distracted by other responsibilities
 Don’t prejudge the message based on who is
delivering it. Focus instead on the content of the
message.
 Monitor the way you listen by asking yourself
questions such as “Did I really pay attention or was I
thinking about what I was going to say next”? “Was
there information I missed because I allowed myself to
become distracted”?
 That’s a good question!
 Close end questions limit the answer to yes or no
 Open end questions allow the responder total
freedom in answering
 Direct questions ask for specific information; limit
answers to brief fact statements
 Probing questions follow up other questions to
solicit additional information
 Hypothetical questions present a theoretical
situation to which receiver responds

See examples of each on the next slide…

Good question - examples
Close end question
“Did you attend the staff meeting this morning”?
Open end question
“What was discussed at the staff meeting this morning”?
Direct question
“Which topics were listed on the meeting agenda”?
Probing question
“Can you tell me more about the first agenda topic”?.
Hypothetical question
“What would you have done, if you had not had the
chance to present your idea at the meeting”?
 FOCUS on information –
a model
 Focus the discussion on the specific
information you need
 Open-end question to expand the
discussion
 Close-end question to get specifics
 Use active listening skills to understand
what you are hearing
 Summarize and close the discussion
FOCUS on information –
an example
Focus the discussion on the specific information you need
“I need to ask you about the computer meeting you attended
yesterday”.
Open-end question to expand the discussion
“What kinds of decisions were made regarding expansion of our
departmental system”?
Close-end question to get specifics
“Did the committee decide to buy Dell computers”?
Use active listening skills to understand what you are hearing
“What I think I heard you say was that the decision was made”?
Summarize and close the discussion
“So to wrap up, the system will expand and we will be using Dells.
Thanks for keeping me up to date”.
 Getting / giving feedback
 Why is it necessary to give constructive
feedback to others?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Give feedback when…
 Someone asks for your opinion
 Work errors occur frequently
 A coworker’s habits disturb you
 A coworker’s behavior has negative consequences
 There are unresolved problems
 and other ideas you may have thought of

Constructive feedback focuses on facts not people, solving

problems instead of placing blame, and strengthening
relationships instead of “being right”
 Obstacles to giving
constructive feedback
 What makes it hard to give
constructive feedback?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Obstacles to giving
constructive feedback
 Separating the person from the problem
 Others becoming defensive or angry
 Fear of negative consequences (especially if the other person
is a supervisor)
 Dealing with potential conflict (especially if the other person
is aggressive)
 Avoiding hurt feelings
 Preserving relationships
 Not having all the facts and jumping to conclusions
 Choosing the right time so that the other person is most
receptive
 and other ideas you may have thought of
 STATE feedback – a model
 State the constructive purpose of
your feedback
 Tell specifically what you have observed
 Address and describe your reactions
 Tender specific suggestions for
improvement
 Express your support and respect for
the person
STATE feedback – an example
State the constructive purpose of your feedback
“I’d like to give you some feedback about your training style so that your
evaluations will be more positive and you will enjoy it more”.
Tell specifically what you have observed
“I notice that you rely heavily on your notes”.
Address and describe your reactions
“I feel as though you are unsure of yourself when you read”.
Tender specific suggestions for improvement
“I can help you develop a PowerPoint presentation so that you can use
the screens as a cue instead of being tied to your notes”.
Express your support for the person
“You know a lot about the subject. With practice you can become a good
trainer”.
 Body language
 Nonverbal communication, known as “body
language” sends strong positive and negative
signals. This is how much it influences any
message:

Words 8%
Tone of voice 34%
Non-verbal cues 58%
Message 100%
Body language includes…
 Face
 Figure
 Focus
 Territory
 Tone
 Time

Each of these is described in the following slides…

 Body language - face
 Face includes:
 Your expressions
 Your smile or lack thereof
 Tilt of the head; e.g., if your head is tilted
to one side, it usually indicates you are
interested in what someone is saying

What message are you sending if someone is

presenting a new idea and you are frowning?
 Body language - figure
 Figure includes:
 Your posture
 Your demeanor and gestures
 Your clothes and accessories such as
jewelry

What message are you sending if you are dressed

casually at an important meeting?
 Body language - focus
 Focus is your eye contact with others
 The perception of eye contact differs by culture.
For most Americans…
 Staring makes other people uncomfortable
 Lack of eye contact can make you appear weak or not
trustworthy
 Glasses may interfere or enhance eye contact

What message are you sending if you are looking at

other things and people in a room when someone is
speaking to you?
 Body language - territory
 Territory focuses on how you use
space. It is also called proxemics.
 The perception of territory differs by culture.
Most Americans are comfortable with an
individual space that is about an arm’s length
in diameter

What message are you sending if you keep moving

closer to a person who is backing away from you?
 Body language - tone
 Tone is a factor of your voice
 Pitch is the highness or lowness of voice
 Volume is how loud your voice is
 Emphasis is your inflection

What message are you sending if during a

disagreement you start speaking very loudly?
 Body language - time
 Time focuses on how you use time.
It is also called chronemics.
 Pace is how quickly you speak
 Response is how quickly you move
 Punctuality is your timeliness

What message are you sending if you are

consistently late for meetings?
 Ideas to walk away with…
 People are always communicating
 The meaning intended by the sender is
never exactly the message gotten by
the receiver
 We can help to overcome barriers to
communication by being aware of them
 Verbal and non-verbal communication is
important in sending our messages
 Test yourself…
1. Communication is defined as the interchange of thoughts or
opinions through shared symbols.
True___ False___

2. The four facets of interpersonal communication are sender,

receiver, information, and behavior.
True___ False___

3. Unclear process; chain of command; large size of an

organization or geographic distance; personal limitations;
human nature; conflicting feelings, goals, opinions; and
power are examples of barriers to communication.
True___ False___
 Test yourself
4. Describe the steps of the SHARE model for giving good
information – share, highlight, assure, react, emphasize:

5. Describe the steps of the FOCUS model for getting good

information – focus, open end, close end, use, summarize:

6. Describe the steps of the STATE model for giving constructive

feedback – state, tell, address, tender, express:

7. Describe the the six aspects of non-verbal communication (body

language):
 Test yourself… - answers
1. Communication is defined as the interchange of thoughts or
opinions through shared symbols.
True

2. The four facets of interpersonal communication are sender,

receiver, information, and behavior.
True

3. Unclear process; chain of command; large size of an

organization or geographic distance; personal limitations;
human nature; conflicting feelings, goals, opinions; power are
examples of barriers to communication.
True
 Test yourself… - answers
4. The steps of the SHARE model for giving good information are:
 State the main point of your message
 Highlight other important points
 Assure the receiver’s understanding
 React to how the receiver responds
 Emphasize/summarize your main ideas

5. The steps of the FOCUS model for getting good information are:
 Focus the discussion on the specific information you need
 Open-end question to expand the discussion
 Close-end question to get specifics
 Use active listening skills to understand what you are hearing
 Summarize and close the discussion
 Test yourself… - answers
6. The steps of the STATE model for constructive feedback are:
 State the constructive purpose of your feedback
 Tell specifically what you have observed
 Address and describe your reactions
 Tender specific suggestions for improvement
 Express your support for the person

7. The the six aspects of non-verbal communication (body language):

 Face – expressions, smile, tilt of head
 Figure – posture, demeanor, gestures, dress
 Focus – eye contact
 Territory – use of space
 Tone – voice pitch, volume, emphasis
 Time – the use time