Session 7:

Resolving
Conflict

By: Kaitlyn Loosle

 Why is this topic important?

– “The family is the center of life, and it is the key to eternal happiness” –Elder L. Tom Perry
– Satan knows that the most effective way to disrupt the Lord’s work is to diminish the
effectiveness of the family and the sanctity of the home
– Left unresolved, conflicts destroy family relationships and cause sorrow among family
members
How to Resolve
Conflict
Approach Parent-Child Problems
with a Christlike Attitude
– What are some attributes of Christ?
– Show love and a willingness to resolve conflict
– Have a spirit of compromise
– Uphold values and standards
– Encourage children to make right choices
– Impose consequences
– Tenderly plead with them when they are about to make serious mistakes
– Don’t give in to manipulation
Listen to Understand

– Use good listening skills

– “a soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words
stir up anger” -Proverbs 15:1
– A child’s angry feelings often dissipate when they feel
understood and respected
– Parent may find that their own perspective changes
 Refuse to Argue

– Christ is the perfect example

– “The more supreme the goodness, the more it seems to attract revilers - and the less it seems to
revile in return” – Glenn Latham
– Contention becomes short-lived.
– Communicate expectations, give children choices between acceptable behaviors, and impose
consequences that were previously agreed upon with children
 – Reprove a child “betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by
Follow the Holy Ghost” and then show an “increase of love”

Scriptural o
o
betimes= quickly or soon
sharpness= clearly or distinctly
Guidelines for – James E. Faust says, “any reproving should be done gently in an

Reproving
effort to convince the one being reproved that it is done in their
own interest”

Children – After disciplining, follow up by expressing love, show appropriate

physical affection, and sometimes engage in an enjoyable activity
Selectively Arbitrate Conflicts
between Children

1 2 3 4 5
Take a neutral Give the children Use good You can suggest Help the children
position the responsibility to communication solutions, if needed carry out their
solve the problem skills soluion
Problem-Solving
Model
Five-Step Model

State Explore Brainstorm Select Carry Out

State Positions Explore Brainstorm Select a Solution Carry Out the
• Each person states Underlying Possible Solutions • Evaluate each Solution
their position or Concerns • Each person suggests suggestion and create • Carry out the plan
preference without solutions without a plan • Make modifications, if
• Explore each position
fear of interruption, being attacked or • The responsibilities
in greater depth needed
attack, or ridicule ridiculed for carrying out the
• Sometimes the • Examine the concerns
• Each person proposes plan are agreed upon
solution becomes with each position
how they could
obvious during this contribute to the
process plan/respond to the
concerns
• Every solution is
written down
President Thomas S. Monson’s Story

Throughout Jack’s life, he and his father had many serious arguments. One day when he was 17,
they had a particularly violent one. Jack said to his father, “This is the straw that breaks the camel’s
back. I’m leaving home, and I shall never return.” So saying, he went to the house and packed his bag.
His mother begged him to stay; he was too angry to listen. He left her crying in at the doorway.
Leaving the yard, he was about to pass through the gate when he heard his father call to him.
“Jack, I know that a large share of the blame for your leaving rests with me. For this I am truly sorry. I
want you to know that if you should ever wish to return home, you’ll always be welcome. And I’ll try to
be a better father to you. I want you to know that I’ll always love you.”
Jack said nothing but went to the bus station and bought a ticket to a distant point. As he sat on
the bus, watching the miles go by, he commenced to think about the words of his father. He began to
realize how much love it had required for him to do what he had done. Dad had apologized. He had
invited him back and left the words ringing in the summer air: “I love you.”
Continued…

It was then that Jack realized that the next move was up to him. He knew the only way he could ever
find peace with himself was to demonstrate to his father the same kind of maturity, goodness, and love
that Dad had shown toward him. Jack got off the bus. He bought a return ticket and went back.
He arrived shortly after midnight, entered the house, turned on the light. There in the rocking chair sat
his father, his head in his hands. As he looked up and saw Jack, he arose from the chair and they rushed into
each other’s arms. Jack often said, “Those last years that I was home were among the happiest of my life.”
We could say that here was a boy who overnight became a man. Here was a father who, suppressing
passion and bridling pride, rescued his son before he became one of the vast ‘lost battalion’ resulting from
fractured families and shattered homes. Love was the binding band, the heeling balm. Love so often felt, so
seldom expressed…
Ours is the responsibility, yes, even the solemn duty, to reach out to those who have… strayed from the
family circle.
“Never let a problem to be solved
become more important than a
person to be loved”

-President Thomas S. Monson