INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

Objectives:
To enhance participants’ capacity to appreciate and gainfully utilise:
• The Concept of ‘Interpersonal Skills’
• The Importance of Good Interpersonal Skills
• Key Determinants of Interpersonal Skills
• Key Undesirable Conduct
• Key Desirable Conduct
• Tips for impressing &/or influencing others

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Introduction

• Interpersonal communication deals with relationships between

people, usually in face-to-face settings.
• Interpersonal communication is the primary way relationships are
created, maintained, and changed.

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Nature and definition
• Considers and responds appropriately to the needs, feelings and
capabilities of different people in different situations; is tactful,
compassionate and sensitive, and treats others with respect..

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Definition
• Interpersonal skills are the skills that a person uses to interact with
other people. Interpersonal skills are sometimes also referred to as
people skills or communication skills.

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Nature and definition
• Techniques, proficiency/abilities (Approaches/strategies) to relate,
associate, interact &/or cooperate with others
• An aptitude to intermingle, fuse with, mix and/or blend with others
• Capacity to work together, get along, put up with and/or connect with
others in a mutually beneficial manner.

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Characteristics
• Formality: Amount of distance between the people defines the type
of relationship, from formal to intimate.
• Accessibility: Openness, willingness to exchange information (self-
disclosure).
• Reciprocity: Certain behaviors are called for in the relationship and
others are prohibited; each person has expectations which must be
fulfilled.

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Importance of IPSs
• Easy conflict management
• Friendly/homely and enabling work environment
• Teamwork/participatory approach
• Effective communication.
• Efficiency and effectiveness

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Importance of IPSs
• Better customer service
• Smoother operations with stakeholders
• Better PR/Image

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Characteristics
• Commitment: Degree to which each person is uniquely a part of the
relationship.

• Spontaneity: Freedom or lack of freedom to engage in spontaneous

behaviors, free of role expectations of the other.

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Key Skills
• Empathy
• Building Trust
• Active Listening
• Communication Styles
• Dealing With Difficult People
• Assertiveness
• Conflict Management

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Key Skills
Empathy
• Valued currency
• Ability to put yourself in the other persons shoes to see things from
her or his perspective
• Create bonds of trust

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Key skills
Building trust
• Shared belief that you will depend on each other to achieve common
purpose
• Building relations requires building trust
• Trust is the expectancy of the people that they will rely on your word
• It is built through integrity and consistency

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Key Skills
Active listening
• The bottom line of trust
• A conversation is a relationship. Both speaker and listener play part ,
influencing each other.
• You cannot establish trust if you cannot listen

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Key skills
Active listening
• Active listening is particular way of engaging in a conversation in
which attention is focused primarily in one person with the listener
fully engaged and absorbing and responding to what speaker is saying
• Having a direct, friendly, and relaxed expression on your face ,conveys
the that you are listening attentively

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Key skills
• 5 Levels of listening
• Listening implies a choice. You must choose to participate in the
process of listening
• Listening occurs at different levels for different situations!

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Key skills
5 Levels of Listening
Level 1:Ignoring
Level 2:Pretending
Level 3:Selective listening
Level 4:Attentive listening
Level 5:Empathic listening

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Key skills
Types of listening
• Content listening
• Critical listening
• Empathic listening

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Key skills
Tips –Active listening
• Watch the non-verbal clues
• 7% Verbal reasoning
• 93%Non verbal e.g. body language, sensing others feelings and thoughts,
situational assesment

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Key skills
Listening tips
• Facial expressions
• Vocal characteristics
• Personal appearance

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Key skills
Listening tips
DON’T:
• Change the subject
• Discount the speakers’ feelings
• Let the speaker “hook” you into an emotional exchange
• Interrupt
• Give advice
• Interrogate

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Key skills
• Assertiveness: the ability to communicate your needs, feelings,
opinions, and beliefs in an open and honest manner without violating
the rights of others
• Different from aggressiveness

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Key skills

CLASS QUESTION

• How have you dealt with difficult people in your work place?
• How would you deal with difficult colleagues during the course?

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Key skills
Dealing with difficult people
• Chatterbox
• Put the blame on yourself rather than risk insulting your colleague
• “Ihave trouble concentrating while listening to your very
engaging stories.”

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Key skills
Gossip
• That which carriers both elements of truth and untruth
• Listen to your gossipy worker quietly but don’t become a gossip too
• Change the topic or say that you don’t feel right discussing someone behind
her/his back

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Key skills
The complainer
• Change whenever she/he begins to complain-make sure your
colleague gets the hint
• The delegator
• Make a statement it is only managers who delegate

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Key skills
Conflict
• It is inevitable
Ways of dealing with conflict
• Avoidance-pretend it is not there
• Accommodate it- sometimes at your cost
• Competing-work to get your way rather than clarifying and addressing the issue
• Compromise-give and take
• Collaborating-focus on working together

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Key skills
Other skills include
• Presentation skills
• Feedback skills
• Facilitation skills

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Some Common Undesirable Words/
Statements:
• “Whatever”
• “You Know” ( “You know what am saying”)
• “Anyway”
• "it is what it is“/ I don’t care
• “I”, &/ “My”
• "at the end of the day"
• I wish/ I guess/Apparently
• I want/demand
• Never/ No/Impossible
• Vulgar language/obscenity
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Barriers to IPS

• IN YOUR EXPERIENCE WHAT ARE THE BARRIERS TO INTERPERSONAL

SKILLS?

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References
• Hyes,J.(2004).Interpersonal skills at work.London,UK: Routledge

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