Chapter Three: Understanding Your Communication Style

Chapter Three
Understanding Your
Communication
Style
Chapter Preview: Understanding Your
Communication Style
• Style bias and its effect on interpersonal
relations
• Benefits of understanding
communication styles
• Elements of communication style model
• Identifying preferred style
• Style flexing
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Communication Style
• Personality—thoughts, feelings, and
actions that characterize someone
• Communication style—patterns of
behavior that others can observe
Communication style is
an important aspect of personality

Communication Style
• Understanding your style….

– achieve greater self-awareness
– develop more effective interpersonal
relations
– greater sensitivity to and tolerance for
others’ styles
– essential for managing key relationships
self another person member of a
group

Fundamental Concepts
• Individual differences exist and are

important
– i.e., use of gestures, assertiveness
– each person has unique style
– identify by careful observation

• Differences tend to be stable

– Jung’s Psychological Types
– born with disposition that is nurtured and
strengthened over a life

• Limited number of general styles

– four basic styles
– similar characteristics within style

• A way of thinking and behaving

– not an ability
– a preferred way of using abilities or style

Communication Style Bias
• A common form of prejudice

• More likely if the other person has a
different style then yours
• Often not on the same “wavelength”

What You Can Do?
• Develop an awareness of your own

style
• Learn to assess the style of others
• Learn when and how to adapt your own
style to theirs
• “Speaking the other person’s language”
is essential for relationship skills
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Total Person Insight
By knowing our own communicating

style, we get to know ourselves better.
And we get along with others better as
we develop the ability to recognize—
and respond—to their styles.
Paul Mok and Dudley Lynch

Human Resource Development Consultants

Communication Style Model
• Two important dimensions of human

behavior:
– Dominance
– Sociability
• Remember: the style model describes
preferences, not skills or abilities

The Dominance Continuum
• Dominance
– The tendency to display a “take-charge”
attitude
– an important dimension in interpersonal
relationships
• Everyone falls somewhere on the
dominance continuum

The Dominance Continuum
Figure 3.1 Dominance Continuum
• more cooperative • give advice

freely
• eager to assist others • initiate demands
• less assertive • more assertive
• more willing to be controlled • seek control

Determining Your Preferred Style
• Step One:
– Identify where you fall on the dominance
continuum
• Rate yourself on the Dominance Indicator Form
• Ask four or five people who know you well to
complete it for you

Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form
I perceive myself as somewhat . . .
Cooperative Competitive
Submissive Authoritative
Accommodating Domineering
Hesitant Decisive
Reserved Outgoing

Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form
(continued)
Compromising Insistent
Cautious Risk taking
Patient Hurried
Passive Influential
Quiet Talkative

Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form (continued)
Shy Bold
Supportive Demanding
Relaxed Intense
Restrained Assertive

Where Should You Be?
• No best place to be
• Successful people can be found on all
points
• Both ends are necessary and important
at times

Being Flexible Is Important
• Low on dominance
– more assertive temporarily to achieve an
objective
– learn to be responsive without giving up
convictions
• High on dominance
– curb strong opinions and limit demands to
establish cooperative relationships

The Sociability Continuum
• Sociability
– tendency to seek and enjoy social
relationships
– measure of whether you tend to control or
express your feelings

Figure 3.3
Sociability Continuum • expresses feelings
Source: Gerald L Manning • open and talkative
and Barry Reece, Selling • enjoys personal
Today: Creating Customer
Value, Ninth Edition, associations
Copyright © 2004. Adapted
by permission of Prentice-Hall
Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ.
• controls feelings
• more reserved
and formal
in relationships

Determining Your Preferred Style
• Step One:
– Identify where you fall on the dominance
continuum
• Step Two:
– Identify where you fall on the sociability
continuum
• Rate yourself on sociability indicator form
• Ask four or five people who know you well to
complete it for you

Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form
Disciplined Easygoing
Controlled Expressive
Serious Lighthearted
Methodical Unstructured
Calculating Spontaneous

Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form (continued)
Guarded Open
Introverted Extroverted
Aloof Friendly
Formal Casual
Reserved Provocative

Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form (continued)
Cautious Carefree
Conforming Unconventional
Self-controlled Dramatic
Restrained Impulsive
Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value,
Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper
Saddle River, NJ.

Where Should You Be?
• No best place to be
• Successful people are everywhere
along the sociability continuum
• There are some commonsense
guidelines to follow if you fall at either
end of the continuum

Being Flexible is Important
• Low sociability
– may need to be more expressive to avoid
perception of indifference or unconcerned
• High sociability
– may need to curb exuberance if more
formal environment is required

Communication Styles Model
• The model represents four

communication styles:
– emotive director
– reflective supportive
• Two factors:
– dominance sociability
• Model will help identify your most
preferred style

Figure 3.5
When the dominance
and sociability
dimensions are
combined, the
framework
for communication
style classification
is established.
Figure 3.5
Saddle River, NJ.

Figure 3.6
The emotive style
combines high
sociability and
high dominance.
Figure 3.6
Saddle River, NJ.

Emotive Style
• Displays spontaneous, uninhibited

behavior
– Talks rapidly
– Uses lots of hand gestures
– Expresses views with enthusiasm

Emotive Style
• Displays the personality dimension

described as extroversion
– Enjoys being with others
– Tends to be upbeat and active
– Likes informality
– Uses first names

Emotive Style
• Possesses a natural persuasiveness

– Combination of high dominance and high
sociability
– Finds it easy to express point of view
dramatically or forcefully

Figure 3.7
The director style
combines high
dominance
and low sociability.
.
Figure 3.7
Saddle River, NJ.

Director Style
• Projects a serious attitude
– Communicates a no-nonsense attitude
– Often gives the impression he or she
cannot have fun

Director Style
• Expresses strong opinions

– Uses firm gestures and tone of voice
– Communicates determination

Director Style
• May project indifference

– Finds it hard to abandon formal
approaches in dealing with people
– Not easy to communicate warm, caring
attitude

Figure 3.8
The reflective style
combines low
dominance
and low sociability.
Figure 3.8
Saddle River, NJ.

Reflective Style
• Expresses opinions in a formal,

deliberate manner
– Never seems to be in a hurry
– Expresses measured opinions
– Emotional control is a common trait

Reflective Style
• Seems preoccupied
– Rather quiet
– Appears aloof or hard to get to know

Reflective Style
• Prefers orderliness
– Uses and appreciates an agenda
– Enjoys reviewing details
– Likes to make decisions slowly

Figure 3.9
The supportive style
combines low
dominance
and high sociability.
Figure 3.9
Saddle River, NJ.

Supportive Style
• Listens attentively
– Good listening comes naturally
– Appears patient and caring

Supportive Style
• Avoids the use of power

– Relies on friendly persuasion
– Likes to display warmth in written and
spoken communication

Supportive Style
• Makes and expresses decisions in a
thoughtful, deliberate manner
– Appears low-key in decision making

Identify Yourself?
• Nobody conforms completely to one

style
• Only one dimension of personality
• Only deals with behaviors that others
can observe
• May be able to identify the style least
like yourself

Variation Within Your Communication Style
• Communication styles also vary in

intensity
• Model features zones that radiate
outward from the center
• These dimensions might be thought of
as intensity zones

• Boundary between zones not a

permanent barrier
• Under certain conditions, people will
abandon their preferred style
temporarily, a process called "style
flexing"

Figure 3.10
Communication Style
Intensity Zones
Figure 3.10
Saddle River, NJ.

• Zone I
– Display unique behavioral characteristics
with less intensity
– May be more difficult to identify the
preferred communication style
– Not be as obvious in their gestures, tone of
voice, speech patterns, or emotional
expressions

• Zone 2
– Display behavioral characteristics with
greater intensity
– Can sometimes observe behavior change
when upset or angry

• Excess Zone
– Characterized by a high degree of intensity
and rigidity
– Can also be labeled the "danger" zone
– Often inflexible and displays a lack of
versatility

• Extreme intensity in any quadrant can

interfere with good human relations
• People may move into the excess zone
when:
– they are under stress or not feeling well
– they feel threatened or insecure

Behaviors Displayed in the Excess Zone
• Supportive Style
– Attempts to win approval by agreeing with
everyone
– Constantly seeks reassurance
– Refuses to take a strong stand
– Tends to apologize a great deal

• Director Style
– Is determined to come out on top
– Will not admit to being wrong
– Appears cold and unfeeling when dealing
with others
– Tends to use dogmatic phrases

• Emotive Style
– Tends to express highly emotional opinions
– Is outspoken to the point of being offensive
– Seems unwilling to listen to the views of
others
– Uses exaggerated gestures and facial
expressions

• Reflective Style
– Tends to avoid making a decision
– Seems overly interested in detail
– Is very stiff and formal when dealing with
others
– Seeks to achieve perfection

Tips on Style Identification
• Focus on observable behavior
– The best clues are nonverbal:
• Gestures
• Posture
• Facial expressions
• Speech patterns

Tips on Style Identification
• Determine where the person falls on the

sociability and dominance continuums
– Your initial impression should not be
carved in stone, but should be a continuing
process
– Different situations will bring out different
behaviors

Versatility:
The Third Dimension
• Versatility
– acting in ways that gain a social
endorsement
– making others feel comfortable and
nondefensive
– independent of style and changeable

– can learn other styles

Versatility and Style Flexing
• Style flexing
– deliberate attempt to change or alter style
to meet the needs of another person
– temporary effort to act in harmony with
other communication styles
– important in many occupations

Total Person Insight
When we speak of interpersonal relationships
(as interaction involving at least two people),
we contend that no one can do much about
what we say and do. And because dealing
with others is such a major aspect of our
lives, if we can control what we say and do to
make others more comfortable, we can
realistically expect our relationships to be
more productive, or effective, ones.
David W. Merrill and Roger H. Reid
Authors, Personal Styles and Effective Performance

Strategies for Adapting Your Style
• Identify the style of the other person

• Think of ways to flex your style to gain a
social endorsement
• Several style adaptation strategies…….

Flexing to an Emotive Style
• Take time to build a social as well as a
business relationship
• Display interest in a person’s ideas,
interests, and experiences
• Do not place too much emphasis on
details
• Maintain a fast and spontaneous pace

Flexing to a Director Style
• Be specific, brief, and to the point

• Present the facts logically and be
prepared to provide specific answers
• Maintain fast and decisive pace
• Project strength and confidence
• Messages should be short and to the
point

Flexing to a Reflective Style
• Be well organized
• Be straightforward and direct
• Be accurate and realistic when
presenting information
• Messages should be detailed and
precise
• Speak slowly and systematically

Flexing to a Supportive Style
• Show a sincere interest

• Identify areas of common interests
• Draw out other’s personal goals and
views
• Listen and be responsive
• Do not be pushy
• Put priority on relationship building

Style Flexing: Pitfalls and Possibilities
• If sincere and honest, style flexing can:

– help build constructive relationships
– be a valuable and productive
communication strategy
– be especially critical when something
important is at stake

A Word of Caution
• Do not label others

– classify strengths and preferences, not
people
• Do not let your own label become rigid

Strength/Weakness Paradox
• There is no best communication style

– each has unique strong points
• People have problems when they
overextend the strengths of their style
• Customizing your style can require
learning to overcome your strengths

Summary
• Communication styles
– patterns of behaviors, observable to
others
– tend to be stable throughout a person’s life
– unique to each person

Summary
• Communication style bias

– problem in organizations
– barrier to good human relations

Summary
• Communication Model
– Dominance
– Sociability
• Communication Styles
– Emotive
– Director
– Reflective
– Supportive

Summary
• Style flexing and versatility are

important in dealing with varying
communication styles
• Keep an open mind about people
• Don’t use labels, typecast or judge

Chapter Three: Understanding Your Communication Style

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Chapter Three

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• Understanding your style….

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• Individual differences exist and are

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• Differences tend to be stable

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• Limited number of general styles

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• A way of thinking and behaving

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• A common form of prejudice

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• Develop an awareness of your own

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By knowing our own communicating

Paul Mok and Dudley Lynch

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• Two important dimensions of human

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Figure 3.1 Dominance Continuum

• more cooperative • give advice

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Cautious Risk taking

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• The model represents four

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• Displays spontaneous, uninhibited

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• Displays the personality dimension

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• Possesses a natural persuasiveness

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• Expresses strong opinions

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• May project indifference

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• Expresses opinions in a formal,

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