We’re beginning a new series called “The Road to Recovery”. This series is going
to talk about how to handle and how to overcome the HURTS in your life, the
HABITS that are messing up your life and the HANG-UPS that cause pain in your
life. Hurts, Habits, Hang-ups.
Our theme verse for this series is Isaiah 57:18:
God speaking, “I have seen how they acted but I will heal them, I
will lead them and help them and I will comfort those who
mourn. I offer peace to all near and far.”
❖Question: What do you need recovery from?
THE FIRST STEP:
‘R’ STANDS FOR _________________
Realize I’m not God. I admit I am powerless to control my tendency to do
wrong things and my life is unmanageable.
Do you ever stay up late when you know you need sleep?
Do you ever eat or drink more calories than your body needs?
Do you ever feel you ought to exercise but you don’t?
Do you ever know the right thing to do but you don’t do it? Do
you ever know something is wrong but you do it anyway?
If your answer is yes to any of these questions, welcome to the human race. Just
like anybody you may or may not know, you need recovery.
I. THE CAUSE OF MY PROBLEM: ________________
All of us have this sin nature that compels us to do the wrong thing. The fact is
that we will always have this sin nature as long as we live in this fallen world.
Even after you become a Christian, you still have desires that pull you the wrong
way.
The cause of all your problem is this: I want to play God. What it means is that
you simply want control over everything. The more insecure you are, the more
you’re driven to control. The more insecure you are, the more you want to
control yourself, control other people, control your environment.
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY
HOW DO WE PLAY GOD?
1. We try to control ___________________. You want to control what
other people think of you. We don’t want people to see the real us.
2. We try to control ____________________. We use a lot of tools to
manipulate each other. We use guilt, fear, praise, silent treatment, anger
and rage to control other for our own ends.
3. We try to control __________________. We act like we don’t need
anybody’s help or like we don’t have problems at all.
4. We try to control __________________. Think of how much time and
energy you spent running away from pain? We try to avoid it, deny it,
escape it, reduce it, postpone it.
II. THE CONSEQUENCES OF PLAYING GOD
5. _____________. When we try to control everything, we become afraid.
We’re afraid somebody’s going to find out who we really are, that we’re
not really okay.
6. _____________. It’s frustrating trying to control everything, because the
bottom line is that you just can’t.
7. _____________. It’s tiring playing God. Trying to control everything and
pretending you’ve got it all together takes a lot of energy.
❖ Question: If you’re in a constant state of fatigue, always worn out, ask
yourself, “What pain am I running away from?”
1. _____________. When you try to play God, that’s one job description
you’re guaranteed to fail at. You can’t forever hide your weaknesses. You
can’t forever run away from pain. You can’t forever deny you’re not okay.
“You’ll never succeed in life if you try to hide your sins. Confess them. Give
them up. Then God will show mercy to you.”
-Proverbs
28:1
THE FIRST STEP TO FREEDOM
 III. THE CURE

The first step on the road to recovery is to admit your powerlessness. The Bible
says that in admitting weakness we find strength. Admit your powerlessness and
admit that you can’t do it on your own. You need help. You need God.

1. Admit your powerlessness to______________________. You may still

remember how painful it has been, but resentment does not change
anything. What is past cannot be undone.

2. Admit your powerlessness to ___________________. You are

responsible for your actions, not for other people’s actions. Controlling
other people has never led to real success.

3. Admit your powerlessness to

___________________________________ _________________. Good
intentions are not enough. Willpower is not enough. How many times
have you tried and failed? You need a source of power beyond yourself.
You need God.

“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

-James 4:6

_______________is the power to change. Grace is the power God gives you to
make the changes in your life that you need to make.

Question: What needs changing in your life? What hurt, or hang-up or habit have
you been trying to ignore?

God knows everything you keep inside. God knows things you have been
denying. You know it yourself. You just have to admit it. Be honest and face a
problem you have been ignoring for a long time.

The first step to freedom is admitting that you need freedom. The first step to
recovery is admitting that you need recovery. The first step to recovery is
admitting whatever it is you need to recover from.

THE ROAD TO RECOVERY

 Last week, we said, “All of us need recovery because none of us is perfect. The
world is not perfect. We’ve all been hurt, we all have hang-ups, we all have
habits we’d like to change. Everybody needs recovery.”
The root cause of all these is our desire to control things: control our image,
control other people, control our problems, control our pain. We, individually,
want to be God.
To break out of that, we have to get past DENIAL. Denial is what keeps us from
moving into recovery. And God’s antidote for denial is PAIN. Most of us never
really move into recovery unless we’re forced to move into it because there is no
other choice.
God uses three denial busters to get our attention and force us to recover from
things that have messed up our individual lives.
1. ____________. Illness, stress, we lose things that are important to us.
2. ____________. Pain is like a fire alarm. It goes off warning us something
is wrong in our individual lives. Sometimes, God confronts us through
other people, circumstances and pain to get our attention.
3. ____________. When all else fail, at some point, God just steps back and
let us feel the full impact of our stupid decisions.
THE SECOND STEP:
‘E’ STANDS FOR _____________________
Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has
the power to help me recover.
“Anyone who comes to God, must believe that He exists and
that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.”
-Hebrews 11:6
I. ACKNOWLEDGE __________________________
“Since the creation of the world, God’s invisible qualities, His eternal power, and
His divine nature have been clearly seen.” –Romans 1:20
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY
“The heavens declare the glory of God.” –Psalm 19:1
The real issue for most is not, “Is there a God?” The real issue is, “What kind of
God is He? What is He really like?”
II. UNDERSTAND ________________________
The second step in recovery is not just to acknowledge God’s existence but to
understand His character. Until we know what God is really like, we can’t trust
Him. Fortunately, God wants us to know what He’s really like. He came as Jesus
Christ, and He said, “This is what I am like.”
“Christ is the visible expression of the invisible God.”
–Colossians 1:15
If we read about Jesus and study His life, we’ll learn a whole lot about God.
1. God __________ about my situation. God knows about my hurts, habits and
hang-ups. He knows the good and the bad. God is aware of what you need even
before you ask for it. He sees the crisis in your soul. He’s not shocked. He’s not
surprised. He’s not even disappointed. He knows you.
2. God __________ about my situation. He not only knows about your situation,
He cares about it. The Bible says, “God is love.” Tender and sympathetic—that’s
the kind of God who knows you.
3. God _______________ me and my situation. Sometimes God changes you.
Sometimes He changes the situation. Sometimes, He changes both. He’s
definitely got the power to cause change.
“What is impossible for me, is possible with God.”
-Luke 18:27
This recovery series is about spiritual growth. Spiritual growth is the process of
expanding the windshield and shrinking the rearview mirror, so you can get on
with the present rather than get caught up in the past. How do you do that?
Acknowledge that God exists. Realize what He’s like: He cares, He understands,
He loves you and He wants to help you.
WHERE TO GET HELP WHEN YOU’RE HURT
 III. ACCEPT GOD’S _________________________

It’s not enough to just believe in God. You’ve got to plug into His power and that
takes more than just believing.

“For God is at work within you, giving the will and the power
to achieve His purpose.”
-Philippians 2:13

Willpower on your own is not enough. Good intentions are not enough. What
you need is God’s will and power to help you change. And God is willing to give
you that willpower.

What happens when I open up my life to God’s power? When I ask for the Spirit
of God in my life, what does it do? Does it turn me into some kind of a religious
nut?

“The Spirit that God gives us fills us with power, love and self- control.”
-2 Timothy 1:7

Don’t you want power in your life? The power to break habits you can’t break.
The power to do the right thing. The power to let go of the past. The power to
get on with the life God wants me to live.

Don’t you want love in your life? Real love. To be able to love people and have
them love me back because there are no more hurts and hang-ups that build up
walls.

How do I plug into God’s power?

BELIEVE AND RECEIVE. First, believe that God exists and believe that He does
know me and care for me and He has the power to help me. Then I receive Him
into my life—God, put Your Spirit in me.

“When you go through deep waters and great troubles I will be

with you. You won’t drown. When you walk through the fires
of oppression, you won’t be burned up.”
-Isaiah 43:2

S E S S I O N 2 OF 8:
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY WHERE TO GET HELP WHEN YOU’RE HURT
 We have a tendency to get stuck in life, We get stuck in relationships. We get
stuck with habits. We get stuck in grief. We get stuck in anger. We get stuck in
our work. We get stuck in a sexual relationship. And once we’re stuck, we start to
feel guilty that we’re stuck.
And then our guilt turns to anger. Then anger turns to fear and, eventually, fear
turns to depression and we resign, saying, “I give up. I can’t change.” And the
cycle starts all over again and we get stuck further.
How do you break out of that stuckness? The first step towards recovery tells us
to admit that we’ve got a problem and we’re powerless to change that on our
own. The second step, on the other hand, tells us that while we are powerless,
God is powerful and we can plug into His power to be able to push towards
recovery.
It is not enough, however, that we know that God can help you. You have got to
take action. You have got to make a decision. You have got to walk across the
line.
THE THIRD STEP:
‘C’ STANDS FOR ______________________
Consciously choose to commit all my life and
will to Christ’s care and control.
“Come to Me all you who are weary and overburdened and
I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me
for My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
-Matthew 11:28-29
I. WHAT KEEPS ME FROM DOING THAT?
1.____________ will keep me from admitting I need help.
“Arrogant people are on the way to ruin because they
won’t admit it when they need help.”
–Proverbs 18:12
Maybe you’re not ready for this step. Maybe you’re not ready to say, “I give
control and care of my life to Christ.” All you need is a greater amount of pain.
God will gladly allow it to get your attention.
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY
2. ____________ will keep me from taking this step.
“Problems, far too big for me to solve, are piled higher than my head.
Meanwhile, my sins, too many to count, have caught up with me
and I’m ashamed to look up.”
–Psalm 40:13
There is no sin that God does not want and cannot forgive. He wants to help you.
Don’t let pride or guilt keep you from taking this step. He wants to forgive you
and relieve you from your guilt.
3. ____________ will keep me from taking this step.
We are most often afraid of what we might have to give up. What will happen
when God is in control of my life? The fact is that we have been controlled all the
time. It’s just that you choose who you’re being controlled by when you let God
control your life.
Freedom is choosing who controls you. When you give your life to the care and
control of Christ, He sets you free.
4.____________ will keep me from taking this step.
Worry keeps you from surrendering your life to the care and control of Christ.
We confuse the decision-making phase with the problem-solving phase. If you
confuse them, you will never make a decision. You have to make the decision
and then solve the problem.
5.____________ will keep me from taking this step.
“I want to believe but my faith just seems so small.” Look at what the Bible says,
“If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, nothing will be impossible for you.”
You may say, “I’ve tried this before and it didn’t work. I’ve tried giving up my life
to God and it just didn’t work. It’s probable that you just didn’t understand what
it all involved. The thing is, commitment has a very huge involvement in the
process.
II. HOW DO I TAKE THIS STEP?
What are important things involved in taking this step?
1. I accept Jesus as my _____________. I need to be saved. I realize I need Him
in my life. “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved. What does it mean?
It means committing myself to Christ.
LETTING GO
 2. I accept _______________ as my standard for living. “Believe in the Lord
From now on, there is a manual that I’m going to live my life by. It’s the Bible.
God says that the Bible is the standard with which you evaluate your life around
you.

“All Scripture is inspired by God and useful for teaching the faith and correcting
error for resetting the direction of a man’s life, training Him in good living.”

3. I accept ______________ as my strategy and goal in life. What does God

want me to do? Seek first God’s will. You don’t even have to understand it. “God,
I’m living my life on Your terms because You made me for a reason. You have a
purpose for me and I want to fulfill that purpose You made me for.”

4. I accept _____________ as my strength. No longer do you have to rely on

your own strength. Things work better when they’re plugged in. When you are
plugged into the power of God, you’re not so tired all the time. God says, “I will
give you My power to be all I want you to be.”

“I can do everything God asks me with the help of Christ

who gives me the strength and power.”
-Philippians 4:13

Jesus says, “I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens
the door, I will come in and fellowship with Him.” Jesus stands at the door and
knocks, but He’s a gentleman. He’ll not beat the door down. Step three of the
road to recovery requires us to open the door. The key that unlocks the door is
willpower—a different kind of willpower: the willingness to accept God’s power.

Recovery check:

Have you humbled yourself down to admit that you’re not perfect, that you have
hurts, hang-ups and habits you need recovery from and that you are powerless
to help yourself towards recovery?

Have you truly realized that God does not only exist, but that He cares about you
and He is powerful to help you recover from your hurts, hang-ups and habits?

Are you willing to accept Jesus as your Savior, and commit your life to His care
and control?

S E S S I O N 3 OF 8:
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY LETTING GO
 In the previous sessions, we’ve looked at how we handle hurts, habits and hang-
ups. In the first week, we had the Reality Step in which we realized we all have
problems we can’t control and aid all by ourselves.
Then we talked about the Hope Step, wherein we truly realize the meaning of
God’s existence in our lives, how powerful He is and how He can help us and give
us the power to recover.
Last week was the “Commitment Step” where we made a decision and a
commitment to hand over our life, hurts, hang-ups, habits and all, to Jesus’ care
and control.
This week, we will deal with what we call the “Housecleaning Step”.
THE FOURTH STEP:
‘O’ STANDS FOR ____________________________
Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself,
and to someone I trust.
This step basically has everything to do with cleaning up the past, letting go of
guilt, gaining a clear conscience, learning to live guilt-free, which is the way God
wants us to live.
Guilt keeps us stuck in the past. Guilt keeps us from growing and from becoming
what God wants us to be. There are a lot of ways you react in your life that are
caused by unconscious guilt. We may deny guilt. We may repress guilt. We may
blame other people for our guilt. We may excuse our guilt. We may rationalize
our guilt. But still we feel the effects of it.
How do you get rid of guilt? The good news is that Step 4 in the Road to
Recovery is the key to relief.
“What happiness for those whose guilt has been forgiven. What relief
for those who have confessed their sins and God has cleared their
record.” –Psalm 32:1-2
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY
I. WHAT GUILT DOES TO US
1. Guilt destroys your ______________________.
You cannot be a confident person if you have guilt in your life. It makes you feel
insecure because you’re always worried, “What if somebody finds out?” As a
result, we are afraid of other people and our confidence is destroyed.
2. Guilt damages your ______________________.
Guilt causes you to respond to people in wrong ways. Guilt can make you
impatient and quick to anger. Guilt can cause you to spoil or indulge people.
Sometimes, guilt can cause you to avoid commitment in relationships.
3. Guilt keeps you __________________________.
If you always look at the rearview mirror, you’ll never get ahead. What guilt
does is it tends to replay in your head over and over again. Guilt cannot change
the past just like worry cannot change the future. It only makes today
miserable.
II. HOW TO DO THIS STEP?
1. Take a personal moral ____________________.
You get a pencil and a notepad, sit down, and ask yourself, “What is wrong with
me? What have I felt guilty about? What have I regretted? What am I
remorseful
about? What are the faults in my life that I need changing?” And you ask God to
help you out.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test my thoughts and point out
anything You find in me that makes you sad.” –Psalm 139:23-24
2. Accept ______________________ for my faults.
We cannot hide from ourselves the fact that “the greatest hold-up to the healing
for my hang-up is me.” It starts with being radically honest and saying, “I’m the
problem.”
3. I ask God for ________________________.
“If we freely admit that we have sinned, we find God utterly reliable.
He forgives our sin and makes us thoroughly clean from all
that is evil.” –1 John 1:9
How not to ask forgiveness from God:
• Do not beg.
• Do not bargain.
• Do not bribe.
COMING CLEAN
 4. Admit my faults _______________________.

“Admit your faults to one another and pray for each other so that you
may be healed.” –James 5:16

Why do I need to tell the other person? Because the root of our problem is
relational. We lie to each other. We deceive each other. We wear masks. We
deny our true feelings and play games. It isolates us from each other and
prevents intimacy.

God says revealing your feelings is the beginning of healing. If you don’t do that,
the more you hide it, the bigger it gets and it becomes internally exaggerated.
But when you risk honesty with one person, all of a sudden, this feeling of
freedom comes into your life.

Who do you tell? Important to remember:

• Somebody you trust.
• Somebody who understands the value of what you’re doing.
• Somebody who is mature enough that they are not going to be shocked.
• Somebody who knows the Lord well enough.

5. Accept God’s forgiveness and ________________________.

“All of us have sinned, yet God declares us not guilty if we trust in Jesus Christ
who freely takes away our sin.” –Romans 3:23-24

What happens when I take this step? How does God forgive?
• God forgives _______________________.
• He forgives _______________________.
• He forgives _______________________.

Recovery check: Let’s see if you can still recall the previous steps to recovery
we have discussed:

R-_________________________________________________ E-
_________________________________________________ C-
_________________________________________________ O-
_________________________________________________

S E S S I O N 4 OF 8:
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY COMING CLEAN
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY MAKING CHANGES
 S E S S I O N 5 OF 8:
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY MAKING CHANGES
 None of our relationships are perfect. In the very least, not all are ‘okay’. Now in
our sixth step in recovery, we’ll work on something relational, a “repair work”:
going back and try to repair some of the damage that others caused us and
repair some damage we’ve caused others.
THE SIXTH STEP:
‘E’ STANDS FOR _______________________________
Evaluate all my relationships, offer forgiveness to those who’ve hurt me
and make amends for harm I’ve done to others except, when to do so,
would harm them or others.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger along with every form of malice.
Be kind and compassionate with one another, forgiving each other, just as
in Christ, God forgave you. ” -Ephesians 4:31-32
I. I’M TO FORGIVE THOSE WHO’VE HURT ME
The first big question: WHY?
1. Because ___________________________.
When you have a hard time forgiving people, it’s usually because you don’t feel
forgiven. People who feel forgiven find it easier to forgive. People (even
Christians) who feel unforgiven find it difficult to forgive others. You need to
realize, “If God’s forgiven me then I need to forgive others.”
2. Because ____________________________.
It’s unreasonable, unhelpful and unhealthy. It’s irrationally a waste of energy.
You hurt yourself more than the other person. You’re resentment won’t hurt
him nor change him, it only hurts you. It has emotional consequences. It can
lead to depression. It can lead to unnecessary stress.
3. Because ____________________________.
Resentment blocks the feeling of God’s forgiveness in your life. You need to
forgive others because you’re imperfect and you’re also going to need
forgiveness in the future. A man once confided to a pastor, “Oh, I can never
forgive him. Never!” The pastor just replied, “Well, I hope you never sin in the
future.Because we all need what we don’t want to give.”
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY
The second big question: HOW?
1. Reveal _________________________.
You can never get over it until you admit that it hurts. You’ll never realize the
need to forgive until you recognize that you’ve been hurt. Hurt: you can repress
it, you can suppress it, or you can confess it. There’s no closure without
disclosure.
2. Release _________________________.
When you forgive them, you release them. You don’t wait for them to ask for
forgiveness before you do. You do it whether they ask forgiveness or not
because you’re doing it for your sake, not theirs.
3. Replace ____________________ with _____________________.
Let God settle the score. Because God is just, there will be judgment. So just
release the person in the meantime and focus on God’s peace rather than try to
get even. Relationships can tear your heart into pieces, but God can glue those
pieces back together and cover it with His peace.
II. MAKE AMENDS TO THOSE I’VE HURT
WHY? Because unresolved relationships are the _______________________
and they _________________ recovery from happening.
HOW?
1. Make a list of those I’ve __________________ and what I did.
Is there anyone I’ve broken a promise to? Is there anyone I’m guilty of over-
controlling? Is there anyone I’m over-possessive of? Have I been physically,
emotionally, verbally, mentally and financially abusive to someone? Is there
someone I have never appreciated? Is there someone I am unfaithful to?
2. Think about how you’d like someone to __________________ to you.
If someone were to come to apologize to me, how would I want it done? There
are three issues you need to look at:
• Time. You do it according to when it’s best for them, not according to when
it’s best for you.
• Attitude. Assume responsibility. Don’t try to justify your actions. Focus only
on your part. Make restitution where possible.
• Appropriateness. There are situations where it would be unwise to open
issues with the one you’ve hurt.
REPAIRING RELATIONSHIPS
 3. ______________________ your life.
Refocus your life on doing God’s will beginning with your relationships. The
point is, as long as you focus on somebody you resent, you’re allowing them to
control you. If you continue to resent the, you eventually resemble the person
you resent. What you focus on is what you become.

THE GOOD NEWS: God wants to deal with all that relational garbage in your
life and He knows how you can possibly handle it so He takes it off one layer at
a time.

“Put your heart right, reach out to God, then face the world again, firm and
courageous, then all your troubles will fade from your memory, like floods
that are past and remembered no more.” -Job 11:13-16

Ready to write down some names?

_____________________ _____________________ ____________________
_____________________ _____________________ ____________________
_____________________ _____________________ ____________________
_____________________ _____________________ ____________________
_____________________ _____________________ ____________________
_____________________ _____________________ ____________________
_____________________ _____________________ ____________________
_____________________ _____________________ ____________________
_____________________ _____________________ ____________________
_____________________ _____________________ ____________________
_____________________ _____________________ ____________________
_____________________ _____________________ ____________________
S E S S I O N 6 OF 8:
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY REPAIRING RELATIONSHIPS