THINK BEFORE

YOU SPEAKING
 Speaking before you think is a bad habit that can get you into trouble and hurt
you in the most important areas of your life. Relationships will suffer or end, your career
will be stalled at a level far below your talents, and most importantly, you will have little
confidence in yourself.

Your speech shapes your life. Time and again you find yourself in situations where the
outcome depends on what you say and how you say it. Your words are a reflection of
who you are. If your words are getting you into trouble, you’re showing others the very
worst parts of you. You’re presenting yourself as being thoughtless, careless or just plain
hurtful.

Not only do your words create a positive or negative reaction in the world around you;
your speech influences your thinking and can alter the course of your future. Your words
are a way of underlining your thoughts and reinforcing them.
 When your words are harsh, negative, inconsiderate, or judgmental
then these are the aspects of your experience that are emphasized. It
won’t be long before you have developed the habit of always focusing
your thoughts on the darker side of life. You know what kind of a person
this will turn you into – a miserable, depressing and mean spirited
person who sees only the bad and not the good in others or in life.
If you speak before you think about what you’re going to say, you do not
take the time to consider what words you will use, what these words will
mean to another person, or how they will feel about what you’re saying.
You are also not thinking about what these words say about you as a
person or about all of the good things you may be neglecting to focus
on.
 To break the habit of speaking without
thinking you first have to accept the fact that
it is up to you to control your tongue. You
are responsible for what comes out of your
mouth.
Next, you have to diligently practice closing
your mouth as soon as you open it. I’m not
kidding. If you have this problem it means
that you are reacting to the people and
situations around you by opening your
mouth and talking. You are not reacting by
thinking. When you close your mouth, you
are breaking the pattern or habit and taking
control. You are giving yourself time to
consciously CHOOSE what you want to say.
The third step is to say what you really mean. This is critical and you have
to ask yourself if you are truly willing to do this. It’s easy to blurt something
out and then say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking”. By then the damage is
done. What you are really saying is that you are too lazy to put in the effort
to pay attention to your words. Saying you are sorry only has meaning if
you subsequently change your behaviour. Ask yourself if you are prepared
to think before you speak, to say what you mean, to stand behind your
words, and to take responsibility for them.
Here are some other ideas for putting power into your speech and staying
out of trouble.
Don’t talk too much. Excessive needless talking is usually a sign of
nervousness or stupidity. Before you say something, ask yourself, “Is it
true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” Speak only if the answer to these three
questions is YES.
.
Avoid talking about bad, unpleasant, destructive subjects. Most of this is just a form
of gossip whether you are talking about your friends or world events. Instead, talk
about the good things you’ve seen or want to experience. If you do have to mention
something unpleasant, use tact and gentleness, find something positive to say to
offset the negative, and be brief.
Praise liberally. Sincere compliments, thanks, and other appreciative words are
always welcome. Note the word “sincere”. The habit of giving honest praise not only
will win you friendship and love, it will train you to look for the good around you.
You’ll be amazed at how this rebounds in your life. The more genuine praise you
give, the more positively people will respond to you, the more confidence you’ll feel,
and the more successful you’ll be in your life.
Finally, speak calmly and as much as possible, avoid angry words. Angry words
create enemies, drain your energy, and make you ill.
There is a saying that the tongue is a good servant but a terrible master. Put effort
into controlling your words and it will change your life.
Supervisor: Israa B ahram

By: Abdullah Talib