Week 11PPT

Conflict
Management

David, Jack, Blake, Waltis,

Makiah 
 Occurs when conflict moves past
Violence  verbal threats, abuse and attacks

20% violent episode in romantic

relationship

71% in unhappy marriages

20-35% in student dating relationships

David Brown/Marketing/Junior
 Patterns of Violence
• Tenet 1: Physical Aggression Is Almost Always Preceded by Verbal Aggression
• Small problems --> Big Problems

• Tenet 2: Intimate Violence Is Usually Reciprocal—Both Participate

• Both engage- Women- low power actions

• Tenet 3: Women and Children Suffer Many More Injuries

• Deal with it mentality

• Tenet 4: Victims of Abuse Are in a No-Win Situation

• Too much depending 

• Tenet 5: Perpetrators and Victims Have Discrepant Narratives About Violence

• Perpetrator sees actions differently 

David Brown/Junior/ Marketing 

Interaction Dynamics

“The interlocking interaction

of two or more people
determines the outcome of
the conflict.”

Jack Dutcher, Sophomore, Accounting.

Patterns of Interlocking Behaviors

1. Complementary patterns.
• Styles that are different but
mutually reinforcing.
• Engage vs. avoid.

1. Symmetrical patterns.
• Styles that mirror each other.
• Attack-attack.
• Escalatory spirals.
Jack Dutcher, Sophomore, Accounting
The Midrange Zone of Effectiveness

• Low productivity occurs when conflicts are not identified or when people
indulge in unrestrained emotions
• Venting Vs. Avoidance of Conflict
• Custody example 
• People have long memories for bad treatment

Blake Hamblin, Sophomore, I used to have a pet iguana.

Handling "Raw" Emotions

• Emotions are part of what it means to be a human

• Approach conflict as a "Warrior of the Heart"
• See conflict as unavoidable 
• See conflict as a dance or a mode of martial arts
• Handle conflict skillfully and with precision
• Aim for awareness and clarity

Blake Hamblin, Sophomore, I have used to have a pet iguana.

Express Anger
Responsibly Distinguish between
Verbally state your venting or
anger acknowledging
anger

Agree that you will Work to find

never attack each stimulus for the
other in a state of anger. (The solution
anger or fix)

Waltis/Senior/I hate reading

XYZ Formula for Clarity

• Formula that is made to be able to express anger without attacking

• When you do (X)

• In situation (Y)
• I feel (Z)

• When you do (X) in this specific situation

• I feel (Y)
• What I want instead is (Z)
Personal Responsibility for
Emotional Transformation 
1. Peacemaking 
2. Self-Change
3. Lifelong work in progress