Designing Rites of Passage for Boys

By Robert Neuenschwander

Current Problem
Few (if any) true initiations into adulthood are active in the West Ones that remain are
Small Ineffective Limited to closed groups

World Without Rites

Solid sense of adult identity needed for a healthy society Absent rites cause
Diffuse ritualization
Knowledge gained from any available source

Peer initiation Unconscious self-initiation

This leads to
Distorted self-images Violence Lack of vocational direction

What is a Rite?
Ronald L. Grimes - While rites-of-passage programs are partly intended to build self-esteem, they also focus on practical matters that can be a challenge to young men and women. Instruction is often provided in topics such as financial management, sex education, nutrition, personal hygiene, and decision making.

Remaining Rites
Religious Baptism, confirmation, bar mitzvah, christenings, first communion (often occurring at a younger age), vision quest Graduation (high school, college), completion of Boy Scouts, athletics and sports, military Quinceaera / Sweet Sixteen / major birthday, start/end of puberty, dbutante balls Moving out of home, first major job, marriage

Group

Personal - Teen

Personal 18+

Negative

Gang initiation, hazing, random risk taking

Anatomy of a Rite
Part 1 Separation
A focused detachment from a previous way of living Cutting away of childish actions and beliefs

Part 2 Transition
Longest/most intense phase Learning about life, responsibilities, work with mentors

Part 3 Ceremony/Incorporation
A public declaration that rites test have been completed New adult is ready to be a full adult member in the community This is the main (and mostly remaining) focus in modern West

Constructing A Rite
When is it time?
Often around the onset of puberty

Are you making these statements or questions?

I want more out of my life. I am struggling with issues or problems I do not know how to solve. I do not even know if there IS an answer. I do not like the way the men I see act and I want to find a way to be different. I would like to have a place where I can be totally myself and be respected for it. I want to be a leader.

Rite Teachers
Boy is provided with a number of successful and powerful mentors, wellknown community leaders Some adult women involved in the beginning, mostly men at the end Mentors become responsible for character development

Rite Tests
Boy is provided with ongoing challenges Physical
Constructing, exploring, adventure into the unknown Being a man involves work and effort

Mental
Puzzles and situations where thought is needed before action Being a man involves wisdom and foresight

Rites with Heart

Emotion-laden challenges Though with a guide
Often a mentor that has bonded with the boy Mentor there to provide encouragement and onthe-spot insights

Emotions/values to face: fear, grief, empathy, love, valor, courage, honor, sacrifice, peace

Rites Involve Groups

Not a solo act Rites take place in groups
Trusted set of brothers-inarms Someone to lean on, going through same experience

Later ability to recognize who has passed rites tests

Secret Knowledge
Traditions/instructions are passed down
Family, community, religious

The roles of a successful man:

Community leader
How to add value to his home and neighbors

Husband
How to relate to women

Father
How to raise sons properly

Names
Boy is given or decides on a new name
Mikey becomes Mike
Bob becomes Robert Childhood nicknames are dropped

Part of discarding the boy

New identity to confirm new role

Victories
Boy earns physical representations of his successes
A reminder of a test being passed Emblem, badge, item from the test itself Example Boy Scout badges

Rite Completion
A community ceremony, where boy is judged and encouraged by parents and mentors Young man makes a public declaration of:
Who he is What he seeks His goal in life / what he has to offer the world

Post-Rite
When the rites are done, they are done

Boy joins the men as an equal and is treated as such

New man can now
Build his own home
Find a wife Raise a family Add his voice to community discussions

Rite Impact
If rites of passage are emphasized, the result will be:
Men who can define their role in life Men who know who they are and where they are going in life Men who are independent but can still accept guidance from elders Men who can properly relate to women Men who are fit and prepared to raise children Men willing to pass on their knowledge to the next generation

Current Models
The following websites are some of the organizations attempting to revive modern rites of passage: http://www.aliveadventures.com/ http://www.ritesofpassagevisionquest.org/ http://www.thecornerstonespath.com/

http://www.thresholdpassages.org/
http://www.ymaw.com/

Works Consulted
Crossroads: the quest for contemporary rites of passage. (1996). Open Court: Chicago. Grimes, R. (2000). Deeply into the bone: re-inventing rites of passage. University of California Press: Berkeley.

Gurian, M. (2009). The Purpose of boys. Jossey-Bass: San Francisco.

Hill, J. and Daniels, P. (2008). Life events and rites of passage. Omnigraphics: Detroit.

Lewis, R. (2007). Raising a modern day knight. Tyndale House Publishers: Carol Stream, IL.
Websites on previous page also consulted.