EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE THE LOST KEYS TO MANAGEMENT First Cornerstone Emotional Literacy

Being real & true to yourself:

Builds Personal Power; including self awareness, inner guidance, respect, responsibility & connection. Recognising, respecting & valuing the inherent wisdom of feelings.

1. Emotional Honesty
-- When pure sincerity forms within it is outwardly realised in other peoples hearts (Lao Tzu). -- Feelings are indispensable for insight & good judgement. -- To remain honest with yourself & to respect the wisdom of both the heart & head. -- Emotional honesty makes you real & true to yourself. -- We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.

2. Emotional Energy
-- Your first & foremost job as a leader is to take charge of your own energy & then to help orchestrate the energy of those around you Drucker -- The top characteristic for acquiring & holding great power in organisation is energy, endurance and stamina
-- (Calmness X Energy) (Tension X Fatigue) = Motivation

3. Emotional Feedback
-- Every feeling is a signal -- If we happen to over react to anger or any other feeing, we are being driven by impulse -- Excuses: a) Yes, I shouldnt have said what I did, but you know how jealous I am b) Yes, I shouldnt have said what I did but you know what a temper I have c) Yes, I should have answered back but I am a coward

3. Emotional Feedback2.. Acknowledge & feel the emotion -- Listen to the information or feedback the emotion is giving you -- Guide the emotional energy to constructive response. EQ in action If I took responsibility for

4. Practical intuition Seeing with Heart

-- People with high levels of personal mastery cannot afford to choose between reason & intuition, head & heart anymore than they would choose to walk on one leg or see with one eye Peter Senge -- Intuitive feelings fuel reasoning -- One of the biggest impediments to effective decision making today is that all the literature & all the consultants have recommended that emotion & passion be taken out of management. They think that strategy is purely analytical exercise CK Prahlad -- The most irrational assumption-that people should behave rationally and unemotionally- Dean Trosjold, Simon Fraser University Business School -- (Attentiveness + Questioning) X Curiosity = Practical Intuition

The second Cornerstone Emotional fitness

Being clear & getting along: Builds inspiration of self & others including authenticity, resilience & trusting relationships. Just as physical fitness builds strength, stamina & flexibility of the body, emotional fitness builds corresponding qualities of heart enables to expand your circle of trust or trust radius positively co-related to profitability & success handing pressures and problems in healthier, more open and honest ways.

5. Authentic presence
-- Of late authenticity has become an admired & sought after trait among business leaders & managers -- Being real & connecting through Inquiry & dialogue (Attentiveness X Concern) (Ulterior motive X entitlement) = Authentic Presence. -- Shake things up, probe, prod, enquire, advocate, be real & receptive, honest - watch the results. This is emotional fitness in action. Taking inquiry & dialogue seriously. -- There is a big difference between showing interest & really taking interest Michael P Nichols In Lost Art of Living.

5. Authentic presence.2..
-- Having the courage to forgive yourself & others. -- Getting to the Heart of the Matter. -- Write a letter from your private self to public self.

6. Trust Radius
-- What bridges of trust have you crossed from time to time in your life & work? take a few moments right now to recall one or two such experiences. -- How do you become one of the wealthiest people in the world? One way is to trust yourself & those around you so much that you give away 70% of what you own & in the process make thousand of your managers & employees millionaires. That is what Bill Gates did with Microsoft & Sam Walton did at Wal-Mart. -- Mitsubishi Corporation Emphasising immense value of Trust Networks

6. Trust Radius..2..
-- Trust becomes the glue that holds relationship together & frees up honest dialogue. -- Lack of trust effort in protecting, doubting, checking, weighing & inspecting. -- The overheads of distrusting or wary relationships are enormous Michael Hammer -- At Arthur Anderson trusted business advisors -- Technique & Technology are important but adding trust is the issue of the decades Tom Peters. -- There is little trust without believability. -- Extending your Trust Radius; a) Sit down while you are interacting with other people b) Dont make any time urgent movements

7. Constructive Discontent
-- Once Alfred Sloan in a board meeting about to make an important decision I take it that everyone is in basic agreement with this decision and everyone nodded in assent. Then I suggest we postpone the decision. Until we have some disagreement, we dont understand the problem. -- Constructive value of discontent.

7. Constructive Discontent..2..
Awareness what really matters to you & others. Problem exposure dialogue about frustration and irritation can identify relationship blocks, excessive costs, wasted time, injustices, poor quality under efficient projects and processes. Applied Empathy our empathy is to put to test in times of difficulty can you stretch to understand the value of diversity & difference in others & draw upon this as an aid. Trust environment real open & honest.

7. Constructive Discontent..3..
Inclusion and participation integrate the needs of people for respect, to be heard, to contribute. Creative collaboration constructive discontent. Learning in Action the person who grabs the cat by the tail learns about 44% faster than the one just watching Mark Twain.

7. Constructive Discontent..4..
Challenge & Engagement genuine interest in work. DxDxM>S D Discontent: about how things are right now. D Direction: a clear path or open direction. M Movement: specific steps or actions which act like emotional magnet. S Statuesque: representing the firmly established beliefs, rigid attitudes & strongly held mind sets of your group or organisation or resistance to change. In great teams conflict become productive Peter Senge.

7. Constructive Discontent..5..
Companies that create the future are rebels. They are subversives. They break rules Gary Hamel & CK Prahlad Seeing the Future
First..HBR.

When two people in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary Williaj
Wrigby Jr.

Join a dialogue by talking slowly & calmly. Stay open when things heat-up; He is not really yelling at me, he is yelling for himself.

7. Constructive Discontent..6..
Engage the EQ of the whole group. I appreciate how you feel or if I were in your shoes I would probably be just as angry, once more please. Listen harder Balance advocacy & inquiry. Identify cooperative possibilities. Say no when mean no; our role models should be six years old- they talk straight. Deal productively with anger; irritation, passion, discord are part of caring dialogues. They are investment in conversation. Be willing to acknowledge that there are cynics.

8. Resilience & Renewal

-- We rise to great heights by a winding staircase Sir Francis Bacon -- How many different ways human beings get changed over a lifetime. -- Deeper changes, the ones that last longest are emotional. They anchor us & liberate us. -- Millions of people face fires, tornadoes & floods. I am curious about you. What have you faced? What is your life story? -- Adversity builds character of crisis tamed, tragedies faced or averted, help arriving at the last moment or not arriving at all.

The character of Great People:

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly JFK Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm Winston Churchill No one can make you feel inferior without your consent Eleanor Roosevelt Success is 99% present failure Soichiro Honda To make a living is no longer enough. Work also has to make a life Drucker Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city George Burns, US Comedian

The Third Cornerstone Emotional Depth

-- Builds core character & influence & calls forth your potential, integrity & purpose. -- Life & work seems to flow like a river at times swirling high against the banks & at times free from wind & storm. -- What about you: Do you live only on the surface of your life? Or do you drive through the depths? -- Emotional intelligence cannot thrive or expand without emotional depth. -- Character is higher than intellect.

9. Unique Potential & Purpose

-- Identify your unique potential -- It is never too late to be what you might have been George Eliot -- What specially are my greatest strength & talents? -- What are the most important relationship in my life (Role set) -- Who is the person who has had the greatest positive influence on my life? What was it about the person that was exceptional. -- What am I most proud of in my life? -- Start a page my personal purpose in life is

10. Commitment, Accountability & Conscience

Future generations are unlikely to condone our lack of prudent concern for the integrity of the natural world that supports all life Rachel Carson, Silent Spring -- as one editor observed A thousand words from her, and the world took a new direction . -- such is the power of purpose backed by emotional commitment. -- Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak, courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen Winston Churchill PX(C+A)>R Purpose X (Commitment+Accountability)>Resistance --Wisdom is knowing what to do. Virtue is doing it David Starr Jordan Forbes Magazine -- When there is no wind, row Portugese Proverd

11. Applied Integrity

Core characteristics of Personal integrity a) Discussing what is right & what is wrong. b) Acting on what you have discussed. c) Saying openly that you are acting on your acting on understanding of right from wrong Dx(A+V)=I Discernment x (Action + Voice) = Integrity -- What do I stand for? -- What we together (partnership, group or organisation) can accomplish now or in future. -- What am I willing & not willing to do to achieve this success. What has no shadow has no strength to live Csezlaw Miloz, Noble Laureate

12. Influence without Authority

Your sphere of influence working at the boundary between chaos & order. Emotional Resonance; Energy, Information & Influence. When people feel that they give more to a relationship than they get in return, they feel distress & respond either a) They reduce inputs or b) They increase outcomes (demanding more) or c) They end the relationship.

12. Influence without Authority2..

Mentoring & Compassion; caring for persons, the more able & the less able serving each other is the rock upon which a good society is built Robert K. Greenleaf Harvard Business School. Lifes most persistent & urgent question is what are you doing for others? Martin Luther king Jr.(1928-1968) We may have all come on different ships, but we are in the same boat now - Martin Luther king Jr.

The fourth Cornerstone Emotional Alchemy --Sensing opportunities & creating the future. Builds conference including intuitive innovation, situational transormation & fluid intelligence. Work is an attempt to find an adequate alchemy that both awakens & satisfies the very root of being. Thomas Moore Care of the Soul

--

13. Intuitive Flow

The sixth sense is intuitive flow. There is something within you that knows

much more than you know

Co-author of Creativity in Business.

Rochelle Myers,

Intuitive managers are the people who

dream up new products & have a feel for what the consumer wants Weston H. Agar,
University of Texas.

If you want to go from here to there in

business, no straight line will take you

William Ahmanson, Chairman of National American Life Insurance Company.

14. Reflective Time Shifting

To unusual creative idea or unconventional way to boost effectiveness or solve problem How exactly would you put that into practice at this company. -- Flast Forward & Reflect back Better despite the risks, to leap into the future. And to do so sooner than later
John P. Kotter, Harvard Business School (10-15 years from now)

14. Reflective Time Shifting2..

Time Shifting Questions
a) Who

are my most important work colleagues & customers? b) How do I really know them as individuals with unique talents & potential? c) What specific ways do I help them better achieve their purpose & goals.

15. Opportunity Sensing

-- Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else & perceiving something different Albert Szent
Gyorgyl, MD., Phd., Twice Noble Laureate.

-- It is possible that most people working after the turn of the century will be working in industries that dont even exist now . Nicholas Imparto & Oren Harai, Jumping the curve

15. Opportunity Sensing2..

-- Either you learn to acquire & cultivate creative people or you will be eaten alive Leon Royer, Ex
Dir.3M

Z x (P + A + E) = OS Zeigarnick x (Possibilities + Awareness + Engagement) = Opportunity Sensing - Z is Z effect Your present capacity to stay open & crative for as long as possible. - When Z is zero it indicates a strong sense of closure & this can sabotage all other factors.

16. Creating the Future

The future never just happens. It is created

Will & Ariel Durant, The Lessons of History. Incremental changes are driven by intellect, it is short term limited in scope & tends to be reversible. In contrast successful managers & leaders take creative risks. They allow themselves & others to make mistakes. The future is not some place we are going but one we are creating John Schaar, US Sociologist

16. Creating the Future..2..

The future is not shaped by people who do not

really believe in the future

Leadership.

John W.Gardner on

Whatever made you successful in the past wont

in the future Lew Platt, CEO Hewit & Packard It is always fun to do the impossible Walt Disney If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now when? Teacher Hibel in the 1st Century As Mahaatma Gandhi said You must be the change You wish to see in the world

If not now when?