CHAPTER 4: MY DREAMS AND WISHES

JACOB BLACK

I have got to say, it is a great feeling to be in love. I

always knew someday Nessie n' me would have this sory of relationship,
but it feels so much better. Today we get to be alone, and I want to talk to
this girl! I know I've known her since the day she was born, but we never talk
about things; in depth at least. Nobody would be around to bother us, I could
focus on her, and I wouldn't have to mind my thoughts; her father was no
where near here. I smiled to myself, "What are you thinking?" She asked me,
and I felt my face get hot. She stroaked her warm fingers against my skin,
"Your face is pink." she giggled, and I couldn't help but smile wider. "You
don't want to know.." I told her, feeling embaressed. "No, I wanna know. Tell
me? Please." She asked, and the look in her eyes said it all, she really did
want to know. "Okay.. Uhmmm..." I began, but I really had no idea how to say
this without it sounding.. perverted! "Just spit it out, Jake." She pleaded, I
hesitated. "It doesn't sound right, it sounds.. perverted. But I don't mean it
the way it sounds." I confessed to her, and she smiled. She placed her palm
on my neck, and the slient 'I don't care' was enough to convince me she
meant it. "Well, I was just thinking since Edward wasn't going to be around, I
wouldn't have to mind my thoughts." I told her, and the pink heat returned to
my face. I heard her giggle, and I looked up. "Silly boy, thats nothing to be
embaressed about. I feel the same way." She explained, and I felt a little bit
better. I smiled back at her. "So, what do you want to do today?" I asked her,
curious for her answer. She's just like her mother, un-predictable. "I want to
hear more about you. And what you did before I was born. I want to know
everything!" She said, an oactve higher than normal. I smiled slyly at her, this
ought to be interesting. "Of course, what do you want to know exactly,
though?" I asked her.

We settled into her bed, prepareing ourselves for a day of talking, if my

stomach could handle it that long. "Okay," she said. "I hope you realize I have
a million and two questions, and I am going to be... bold about them. Im just
morbidly curious, so please don't take offense if they come out wrong." She
told me, I just smiled at her and nodded, signaling her to continue. "Okay,
how long have you known my mother?" She asked, and I smiled. "Easy." I told
her, "When your grandma Rene lived with Charlie, well lets just say Charlie
and my dad have been friends since the dawn of time." She giggled, "And
when Bells was born, I didn't know her. Not yet, anyway. But then Rene
moved to Phoenix with Bella, and she visited years later. My older sisters and
Bella were always stuck together when our dads went fishing. I was always
being 'watchted' by my sisters, so me and your mom were friends then. So..
Technicly... twenty years." I said, smileing. She nodded thoughtfully.

"When did you.. you realize you were in love with my mom?"
Renesmee asked me in a small voice, and this was the topic I really didn't
want to talk about, but I knew I would be talking about it anyway. I gave her a
weak smile, "When your dad left your mom. We spent so much time together,
and I knew she needed me like she needed your dad. I hated your dad for
that, I really did. But she didn't. So over time, I couldn't. But wait, thats not
what you asked. Sorry." I was rambleing now, I did that a lot these days.
"Okay, yeah. So when your family left Forks for like.. 6 months I think? Well
yeah, we spent a lot of time together. I just knew it was going to happen, and
I felt she was in love with me, too." I was rambleing like a fool! But, I have a
point to this. "Anyway, she didn't know it. And when your family came back,
she didn't talk to me much anymore. Its because your dad didn't want her
around. But when he finally let her come back around, I was drawn to her.
And well, I felt she was, too. Then I kissed your mom. She punched me.. and
it broke her hand." We both laughed at this. "Anyway.. when you were born
and I saw you, well.. you know that part." I concluded, and she was smileing
at me. "Heart warming.." she said in a quite voice, brushing her finger up and
down my arm. Anytime we were touching I felt this.. this electric current,
almost. It was like nothing else in the world. It was... the tension I felt, not
bad tension. Not even close. I was still thinking when I felt her press her lips
on mine, and a shock jolted straight through my body. She leaned back, and
smiled at me. "I love you Jacob Black. I love you with all my heart." She
spoke, softly and swiftly with sincerity flowing thick in her words. This made
my heart throb, I was trying not to cry. I know, silly isn't it? Me, Jacob Black,
crying. Well its true. "Renesmee, I will never care about someone the way I
care about you. You're the apple of my eye." I told her, and I wanted to roll
around on the floor. How cheesey could I get before she ran away screaming.
"I love you more than anything you could buy, make or find." Thats how the
rest of the hour was spent, us confessing our love for one and other.
Incredibly gooey, and tottaly cheesey, and she didn't consider running away,
screaming even once. It made me smile.
 She eventually fell asleep on my chest, and it was so cute. I kind of felt
bad, but I put her palm on my cheek so that I could watch her dream. And,
boy were these vivid dreams! I felt rude intrudeing like this, but I couldn't
stop watching. She dreampt of me. I was awed that this beautiful girl was
dreaming about a boy like me! I felt.. well I felt honnored. There was one part
of the dream where we were in my house. It was... interesting to see from her
perspective. It wasn't anything I had planned on doing with her. Yet. But
damn! This girl had quite the mind. I was utterly embaressed watching this, I
debated weather or not to let her dream to herself, but I found myself picking
her hand back up again, and again. Eventually I surrendered to my less noble
side and watched. There were flashes of black in every part of the dream,
and I didn't know what they were. It bothered me, not knowing, more than it
should have. As the black flashes became closer and closer together, I was
getting a better picture. "Gahh!" I groaned out lound, in anger. Of course it
was the Volturi, of course! She shouldn't ever have to worry about them.
Ever! I wanted to wake her up, to comfort her. Tell her it'll all be okay, but I
knew if I did she would be angry with me.

She slept on for an hour or two, and I also slept. Rather drifted in and
out of conciousness. I was afraid to leave her to dream, to have her scared. I
was gaurding her mind. I felt like a total moron, but I didn't care. When she
did wake up I was out cold. But I must say, I love the way she woke me up.
"Jake?" She said quitely, about ten times. I didn't hear her. "Jakeeeee?" she
said once more, and nothing. "Babe?" she said. Ah, how I loved the sound of
that. "Jake, Babe, wake up." She said, a little louder. I heard her, but I didn't
move. "Awhh, baby. Wake up." She said, running her fingers through my hair.
I loved how she'd adressed me. It, ugh this sounded so school girl, it sent
butterflies through my stomach. "Baby, wake up." she said once more, and it
was then quiet. I figured she'd decided to let me sleep. Or... she fell asleep
too. I was morbidly curious, so I opened my eyes, and there she lay,
snuggling to my chest, awake, but unaware. I smiled to myself. She took in a
deep breath, and then 'huffed.' I brushed my hand against the lenghth of her
spine ever so slightly, and she sat up with a huge grin on her face. "You're
awake." she stated, and I nodded. "Sorry about that... I guess after watching
you sleep for an hour or two made me tired." I said, laughing. Her face went
blank as she spoke, "An hour or two? Jake, you should have woken me up!"
She told me, and I shook my head. "You're too cute when you sleep, I would
have felt like a criminal wakeing you up." She giggled at me. "Er, you mind if
we go to the big house? Im sorta kinda hungry." I told her, and then added
"Or if you want to hunt, I guess." She shook her head, "I want pancakes." She
told me with a big grin. "Of course you do, you pancake!" I told her,
wondering if my cheesey-ness would make her run. And... I was obviously
wrong. "Silly boy." She said, kissing me lightly on the lips. "Im going to
change, if you don't mind." She told me.

I put my fingers over my eyes pretending to peek. "I am not looking." I

told her sarcasticly, I heard her giggle at get up. I uncovered my eyes
because I thought she wasn't in the room. But god, was I wong! I felt like a
complete freak! And do you know what the worst part is? She looked straight
at me, straight at me! And I was looking at her. She just smiled at me, and I,
of course, freaked and threw a pillow over my head. She laughed at me. "I
am so, so sorry." I told her, my voice shaking. She laughed at me, again. "I
don't care, Jacob." she told me, and I was stunned. Completely and utterly
stunned. "You don't care that I just saw you naked?" I asked her, my voice
hoarse. "Nope." She said, popping the P like I did. "You know your father will
definently kill me if he hears about this, right." I told her, still with my head
under the pillow. Suddenly I felt her weight on the bed, and she was crawling
across it. Crawling! She was on her knees next to me, and she pulled the
pillow off my head, "I don't care. Ill stand in front of you." she told me,
grinning. I was prepared to say something, but I lost my train of thought
when she threw her leg over me, and was sitting on my chest. "Are you
attempting to drive me mad, Renesmee?" I asked her, trying to maintain a
even level to breathe at. As if sitting on me wasn't enough! She leaned
forward, an inch from my face, and whispered "Maybe I am, or maybe im
trying to do something else." and then she kissed me. I was trying to think
about what she just said, but I couldn't. This type of kissing, it was new.
Oddly enough I liked it. I didn't try at it, I was still attempting to desipher
what the hell she'd just whispered to me! And then I got it...

She was going to drive me insane. In the literal sense, I suppose.

Aswell as the sexual sense. "Renesmee, what the are you doing?" I asked her,
my voice thick with supprise. She smiled at me, "Im not trying to do
anything." She paused, thinking. "Oh, oh no. Im sorry. I gave you the wrong
impression, didn't I." She got off the bed and went to stand by the door, she
looked so guilty. I jumped out of the bed, and to her side. I felt so bad that
she felt needlessly guilty over my immigination. "No, no. Its okay. Don't worry
about it, you can give me the wrong impression whenever you'd like." I
grinned at her, and she gave me a half smile back. "I have an idea. Would
you like to go into town for lunch?" I asked her, and her face lit up. "Can I
drive?" She asked, grinning at me. I nodded and she squeeled, jumped up
and down, then turned and kissed me. "Ill get my coat." She said, glee in her
voice. So little to make her so happy... I liked it. "Okay, lets go!" She said,
back three seconds after she first departed.
 She insisted on driving her new car, and I didn't care. My beautiful
girlfriend and myself in her amazing car on a nice dar in Port Angels, it was
perfect. "So, just to let you know.. I am definently buying." She told me
grinning, and I scowled into the empty space in front of me, "No you are not."
I told her. She laughed, "Rock paper scisors?" She suggested. I laughed, "No.
I am playing." I told her, and she shook her head. "Ill give you three options.
One, im paying." She paused. "Nope." I said quietly, but she continued. "Two,
we can go back home." she said, and then she said "Three, you can play rock
paper scissors for it." And grinned at me. I rolled my eyes, "Okay, fine. Option
three." She grinned back at me, happy I was playing along, I guessed.
"Rock... Paper.. Scissors.. Shoot." she commanded, and my hands were
paper, and hers were rock. "I win this one." i said, and she laughed at me.
"Ready? Rock.. Paper.. Scisiors... Shoot!" she commanded agian, and I felt
like a little kid. I had paper again, and she had scissors. She stuck her tounge
out at me, "Whoever wins, pays." she told me. "Rock... Paper.. Scissors..
Shoot." I said to her, and we both had scissors. She grinned, tapped her fist
on her other hand which was flat, three times, without speeking. I did too, but
I had rock and she had paper. "Haha." She told me, and I frowned. I felt like I
should pay. I told myself I would pay anyway, I would make sure of it.

We went to some brunch place, and there were far more people that I
expected for a Thursday at three o'clock, but I just tried to forget about it. All
the guys were stareing at Nessie, but she held my hand so I guess that
helped. Everytime a boy did look for too long and Nessie saw my reaction,
she squeezed my hand and kissed my cheek. "You are too cute when your
jealous." she said at one point, "And it gives me excuses to kiss you." she
giggled. I had to smile at her, she was just too funny. "I bet you're enjoying
this." I said to her, and she winked at me. "Yeah, and I bet you're enjoying
the females stareing at you, too, huh?" She asked me, and I realized I hadn't
taken notice to any of them. I was too busy giving dirty looks to every guy
that looked our way. "Hm, you know I didn't notice. I was too busy giving any
guy who looked this way the stare from hell." she laughed as I said this. We
had been waiting for a table for about two minutes when the hostess came to
seat us. She stared, dazed for a moment. Nessie giggled, and I whispered
'what.' She just put her palm to my cheek, and showed how the hostess was
'marveling at my sex appeal' was how she put it. I just shook my head,
women were sometimes oblivious. She led us to a small cornner, and sat us
in a little booth. "May I get you anything to drink?" She asked us both, I
nodded at Nessie, "Uhh, Ill have a water." she said, "Two." I added, "Alright,
your waitress will be back with those momentarily." she said, and walked
away hesitantly.

We sat there, discussing who was going to get what or if we wanted to

share something. In the end we settled on each of us getting our own meal.
She wanted some pasta, and me being the animal I am, wanted something
different. I didn't know what, but I was thinking. The waitress came back with
our drinks, and introduced herself. I didn't really care to listen, anyway. We
ended up ordering, and to be completely honest with you; I don't have any
clue what I ordered. Nessie smiled at me constantly, and I didn't know why. It
made me wonder what was going on in her mind, but I guessed it wasn't
anything too important. Though everything she thought about was important
to me.. "So, what do you want to do after this?" Nessie asked, speaking for
the first time since we got our food. I pondered that for a moment, "Well.. Its
already four thirty.. when are we leaving for Bellingham?" I asked her
innocently, and she smiled. "At nine." she answered. "Well... Do you mind
going to La Push?" Her face lit up like a light-bulb, "I would love to go to La
Push." She told me, her voice full of excitement and anticipation. I smiled,
and finished off whatever I was eating. Moments later she spoke again,
"Ready to go?" She said with a smile, "Sure." I said, nodding to the waitress
to bring the check. Once she returned I was ready to pay, and I got the
money to her before Nessie. I grinned at Nessie and turned back to the
waitress, "Keep the change." I told her, and we left.

Nessie was driving insanely fast on our way to La Push, my guess was
that she was eager to see the pack. She had a relationship with each and
every one of them, but her strongest bonds were with Sam and Leah. I don't
know what happened with Leah, but they were always together whenever
Leah came to the house, or when we were in La Push. It supprised me, but I
was kind of glad. Leah was like a sister to me, and oddly enough it hurt me
when she was alone. She didn't really have any friends, except the pack. But
when she opened up to Renesmee, she was so much nicer. To everyone.
Even Paul, and that was a total supprise to me. I thought that those two
would never, ever, ever ,ever get along! And the other day, here they are,
playing some video game together. It was... shocking. Suddenly I felt
Renesmee accelerate again, "Are you excited, or somkeing something?" I
asked her sarcastially. She grinned and rolled her eyes, "You just can't wait to
see Paul can you?" I asked her, sarcastic as hell. Paul was the one person in
the pack that just didn't bond with Nessie. "Oh, Paul. My love, I must see him
ASAP." She told me, mocking my voice. I growled, and she laughed at me.
"Oh, great. Now your laughing at me!" I said, and she just laughed harder.

Once we arrived in La Push, we went straight to First Beach. I knew, on

a day like this, we would find almost everyone there. And, well, lets just say I
was right. "Told ya so." I said to Nessie, "Okay, okay. Fair enough." she said
to me smileing. We pulled up and everyone jumped out of the water and
came up on the shore to wair for us. "Hey, Jake!" Embry called to me, I
grinned at him as I dashed to get Nessie's door, but by the time I got there
she already had it half way open. I took her hand as we approached the
beach, and she leaned onto me, wraping her arm around my waste. Oddly
enough, Leah looked.... pleased.. at this. I smiled at her, and she smiled right
back at me. "Long time no see, Ness!" Jared said as we got close enough he
could splash her with water.. or try. She laughed, "Its been a whole day,
Jared." she contridicted him. "Tu shey, tu shey." He said to her coldly, and
everyone rolled there eyes. "Ah, Nessie. How are you?" Emily said,
approaching her and hugging her. "Im pretty good, how are you?" She said
back, and I kissed her cheek and went to go mess with my brothers for one
last time before we leave....

We stayed at La Push until around eight, we said our goodbyes, and

promised to visit. We warned them to come at their own risk, and everyone
laughed. "Im really going to miss this.." Nessie said as we drove home. "Me
too, me too." She smiled at me, warmly. We didn't talk much on the way
home, we were both a bit tired from our day of fun. Once we arrived at the
house, all the lights were on and we saw everyone inside. We pulled up at the
front door, not bothering to park in the garage. Bella came out to greet us,
"Hello Nessie, Jake. How was your day?" she asked, reaching out to hug
Nessie. "It was fun, we hung out here for part of the day.. we went to lunch
and then La Push." Nessie repiled to her mom, hugging her and smileing. "It
was fun." I told her, grinning. "I bet it was, we, on the otherhand, got to get
our house ready. Its beautiful." Bella told us, and for some reason I couldn't
wait. I wanted to go. Right now. "Theres a room for you, Jake, a room for you
Nessie, me and your father have a room, Em and Rose, Alice and Jazz and
Carlisle and Esme, and there are plenty more rooms for visitors." Bella said,
smileing. Nessies face lit up like a kid on christmas, "Really?" she asked in
the voice that would belong to a child. Bella nodded, "I think there are..
tweleve rooms?" she guessed, and I had to smile. My brothers could visit, and
that made me happy. "Come on indside you two." Bella said eventually, and
so we did.

Everyone was anticipating out arrival, everyone was also ready to go,
the whole house was still full of furniture, and a blank expression crossed my
face. "Theres new there." Edward said, and though that made... well almost
no sense I got what he was saying. I went and flopped on the couch, this was
all too real now. I didn't think it would feel like this when I... well when I left
home. I never planned on leaving home, but I guess thats too late now, huh? I
realized all eyes were on me, "You okay bro?" Emmett asked me, and I just
smiled and nodded. I guess I am ready to leave...