WEEKLY JOURNALS

Week #1
Dear Journal,
This week my feelings and concerns about my internship placement has not started. My
supervisor was out of the state handling some business so we just had a couple of conversations
over the telephone. I did get a chance to speak with one of my co-workers who I am supposed to
be meeting with on Monday morning around 9:00 am.
I am looking forward to my internship experience and hopefully it will lead me to an
opportunity to make a difference. I believe that is my ultimate goal in life especially because I
have made mistakes in the past and someone gave my advice and chances in order to improve
myself as an adolescent and as a young adult. The only real concerns I have about my internship
is the ability to bring my skills to the table in a positive manner and not be just a yes man or
errand runner. I want to learn and teach where I can.
As I go through my internship I would like to learn how to implement new programs as a
team and make the necessary adjustments to the implementation process in order to create the
best program for the clients in need of the services that their families as well as themselves need.
I want to be in tuned with my strengths and learn and improve on my weaknesses before the
internship is over.

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Week #2
Dear Journal,
This week was a good week but at times a little confusing. I say this because I received a
lot of information about the program and the way that I believe I will be used. I had
introductions with my executive director and my assistant director. The feeling is that they
respect each others ways but it when it comes to me and what I am supposed to be doing. They
seem to have different approaches in getting things done but they do not seem to totally be on the
same page as to how as a group we are going to complete the task at hand and that is the
implementation of a productive and positive truancy program.
I have respect for the both of them and I had very good and positive conversations on a
personal level where I felt a part of the team. The both reassured me that they will do everything
in their power to communicate honestly with me and give me feedback as needed. My schedule
is informal in the way of I can come in and work according to the days that I need to come in and
get the hours that I need for my internship. I do feel however that the communicate with each
other but on a very limited basis and I do not want to be caught up in the middle of one expecting
me to be somewhere and the other has no idea of what is going on with me. In order for me to
address this problem I see coming is to communicate as much as I can with each individual on a
daily basis to insure that at least with me and what I am doing no one has to guess.
Lastly I am submitting this journal early because I will not be in class on Monday due to
being out of the country. I will be able to communicate until Friday January 23, 2015. I
apologize for this but I will email this to you directly and submit it through blackboard. I am still

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excited about this opportunity and I believe next week I will be visiting schools, truancy court,
students, and their families.

Week #3
Dear Journal,
This weeks journal entry is a continuation of last weeks for the most part but more
detailed as far as to what my role is and the expectations from the director of the program. The
director believes that the best way to lead a program is to learn the program first then go forth
and implement changes or suggestions on how to improve it. I also sat down with the program
coordinator to learn the direction that the program wants to go. I received a lot of paperwork that
outlines the programs objectives, goals, mission, vision, and targets.
I sat down and went through almost all the paperwork that was given to me. I jotted
down some ideas that I had as far as revitalizing the website and even some of the paperwork
that was given to me. I looked at how the programs introduction to parents and students was laid
out and saw somethings that I would change as far as wording and layout of the information that
will be in the hands of others. I worked on questionnaires for students and parents during the
intake process and also made a suggestion of coming up with a program exit questionnaire for
parents after their child has completed the program or ways the program can help others.
Lastly, I know that I have the support of the executive director and the program director
and that means a lot when it comes to gaining confidence in the professional world. They are
open to helping me achieve my goals and objectives not only for the internship, but also as I

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journey through this lifetime as an African American male dealing with a checkered past. I have
made my mistakes in life which I have talked to them both about and instead of judging me they
have worked with me to not let my mistakes define me. I feel as though having that type of
confidence from them is priceless.

Week #4
Dear Journal
This weeks journal was more of the same at the MAP program. I am still learning the
program which let me say again is a startup program so some of the things that I have done is
like throw this up against the wall and let us see what sticks. My site supervisor seems to be
guarded with some of his field work. I have not stepped outside of the facility yet which seems
strange to me. I have a lot of stressors outside of my internship which are really life altering
events towards my life. I am talking about my job being in jeopardy with the department of
education. Sometimes it seems like no matter what you have done in the past and you try to
make it right it always comes back to bite you in the butt. In my situation it is biting me when I
almost have everything to lose i.e. House, car. I have worked hard to right my wrongs in life but
nothing seems to be working but one thing for sure that I know is that God has not brought me
this far to leave me and his timing is perfect.
I am still a bit nervous about the internship because honestly I have never really been in a
lead position when it comes to work. I do not like conflict for one thing but I am learning that
conflict is a way of life and in order to be a good leader I need to learn how to deal with conflict
and run away from it. I believe I became this way through elementary school. I was bigger than

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a lot of the other kids and I fought a lot being tested by peers. I would defend myself in a
heartbeat but as I got older I did not want to be feared by people or seen as a bully because I beat
the little guys up even though they started the trouble. I became less aggressive towards people
and very passive which has stuck with me and I am starting to not like that quality. People tend
to take it for granite and think that they can say or do whatever they want to do around or
towards me. Leaders sometimes might not say much but when they do speak they have the floor
and respect of their peers. What they say is revered and put into action without any questioning.
I want to be the type of leader that is caring but not to be played with. I respect everyone and
expect the same in return.
I am having a little trouble with setting some goals for myself because I feel like I have a
lot of areas that need to be addressed and that is because I am my worst critic but I am working
on that. My organization is a startup organization and I want to do good for them but I want to
improve myself more than anything. I appreciate this opportunity and it has been a longtime
coming. Well I guess that is it for now talk to you next week.

Week #5
Dear Journal,
I finally understand the learning contract. I could not wrap my head around the
assignment for like two weeks. I know that there are things that I want to learn during my
internship but I was being very vague about what those goals were for example I wanted to gain
more experience running a program. This is a very broad statement and is not very specific of
what aspect or aspects of running a program I want to gain experience with. I spoke with the

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executive director of my program, my professor and got a better picture of what they are
expecting from the assignment. The statement should have been more direct and specific to what
I wanted to gain knowledge about, what skills I wanted to gain or improve, and what
professional developmental goals I wanted to gain, improve, or learn. I am almost finished and I
think that I am right on point.
My internship has been good for me considering what has been going on in my personal
life. The Methodist Action Program (MAP) and school have taken my mind off of things and
gives me some things to look forward to. My experience at MAP is going very well. It seems as
if roles are being defined and the trust issues that were in question are being put to rest. I believe
the reason for this is because the main goal of everyone involved is to help troubled youth get an
education by way of tackling the first step to that and that is to eliminate truancy. I child can
learn just by being in class even if they are not engaged. We do however want them to be in
school and be engaged into what they are doing.
During my internship this week we went to a couple of different places this week to
network for a possible partnering situation and we went to a school to visit with one of the clients
in our program. When referencing, we I am speaking of is my site supervisor and I. Our first
stop was to the Douglas School in Christina School district for a possible partnering opportunity.
The Douglas School is an alternative school and truancy is running rampant according to the
educational diagnostician. The meeting went very well and she was positive that the partnership
would be a great help to the school and our program. She gave us a tour of the school and
showed us onsite resources that we could utilize for groups, intakes, and conferences with
parents and students. I personally believe that the two programs combined could do a world of
good for all parties involved. For a startup program it is a win because you do not have to go out

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of the way to recruit candidates for the truancy intervention program. The school has a constant
supply of students that can be truancy court ordered to the intervention program. The Douglas
school benefits because we are helping students get back on track and in school to further their
education. This is a win-win situation.
Next, we went to visit a young man that has been in the program and was doing fine
going to school to the point where he had almost fulfilled his truancy court obligations but within
the last month he began to have unexcused absents. His family moved within that time period
but the just moved four blocks from where they lived before. The site supervisor tried calling
mom on like seven different occasions and at different times because of work schedules but to no
avail. When we got to the school and checked in the office he was supposed to be at lunch but
when the secretary called the lunch room they did not know where he was. We waited like ten
minutes for them to find him and he finally showed up. The first thing that I noticed was that his
wardrobe was conflicting. The young man had on brand new sneakers that looked like they cost
well of $120.00 but his uniform looked like it cost about $10.00 and it was old, too small, and
had holes in his shirt. His pants were to short and you could see his legs. I know that kids are
tough in school and just by looking at the young mans attire I am sure that he gets joked about
constantly by his peers. I also noticed that this young man had the same facial expression
throughout the whole meeting. His face was almost emotionless which made me question if he
was dealing with Aspergers syndrome and it had not been diagnosed yet. While the
conversations went on I also noticed that he really did not want to look at anyone in the face
directly. When asked if everything was ok he just shook his head side to side as if to say yes. I
was just meeting him for the first time and he seems very angry or disconnected. Overall, I had a

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good experience getting out of the office this week and I am looking forward to doing more field
work.

Week #6
Dear Journal,
This week was a rather busy one outside of the office but riddle with a lot of personal
things that kind of caught me off guard because they were so last minute. I went in on only two
days throughout the week and it some of the same business from the weeks previous. I am
struggling with some of the assignments because the assignments and curriculum for the
internship seems like it would be easier if the program had more history and information to
complete them. I noticed this week that I was setting in my cubicle wondering what they
specifically want from me. I have been asking myself that for the last two weeks actually. I
mean I see a vision or path for the program but we do not seem to be on the same page when it
comes to getting to the start or finish line together.
I feel crazy because I feel like the executive director might be a little too busy for this
program due to having a busy schedule. He wants the program to be successful but he also
wants the site supervisor to come up with the program, implement it, and get his approval for
every move made. That is a lot to ask from someone that has only been on the job for three
months now. I am also noticing that information that I need for reports or notes it is being like
kept under lock and key. Through my experiences when an organization is providing a service to
the community there is a central location where you can get this information. The information is

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available so you can look at it, get to know the clients, communicate thoughts or information,
and see what steps are in place to correct the behavior that has been displayed.
I am confident that things will come together but I want to speak up about what I am
seeing but I do not want people to take my feedback in a negative way. I want them to know that
I have been in the field for over fifteen years and if we keep down this road things are not going
to be successful for us. We talked about checks and balances in the last class we met but there
seems to be checks with no balances. I want to remain positive and I know I have a lot to bring
to the table but I want to know what specifically the program needs from me. Until next week I
will do what I need to do.

Week #7
Dear Journal,
What is up Journal? This week was a tough week because I did not feel like going in.
Everything that I have done there I felt as though I could do it at home. I did have a break
through with speaking to my executive director somewhat and that was to find my role while at
my internship. I will take my part in the process and admit that I was looking at my internship as
not thinking in terms of being a leader but as a follower of the site supervisor. That meant a lot
to me because it made me look at things totally different. We did still have some unresolved
issues but we will talk about that later.
He gave me an assignment that he would like finished by Friday March 6, 2015 and that
is to give him my understanding of the program and the operations of the program as I

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understand them. It sounds familiar to the agency report and paper and honestly thats what it is
but with a little twist. He wants me to go through the processes of the program by asking
questions of the site supervisor and to check on intake methods on my own. That simply means
that I can go to truancy court 10 on my own and see how it works from the inside with referrals
for youth to join the truancy intervention program. I can also go to the schools and gather
information from outside sources.
I did not show my executive director my power point presentation as of yet because I
cannot stand when you bring issues up that you are having with resources and they take the
position that I am the boss and you need to do things the way I am telling you. Another reason
why I did not show it to him was because the executive director still has not read or made any
suggestions about my learning contract as I have requested either which sucks because it makes
me look like I did not do the assignment. I have it done and if things are wrong with it I will not
know until later in the intern experience. I have goals set in the contract and in order for me to
maintain the measures or see improvement I need to have notes, writings, and examples to
compare from now to week 13.
Overall I am catching my second wind because I am going to make this thing work
regardless of my experience. The finish line is near and I want to finish strong.

Week #8
Dear Journal,

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This week was a bit of a letdown if I must say so. When I say that I mean I kind of let
myself down this week. I did not go in to the office at my internship this week. I was supposed
to go into truancy court 10 at some time during the week and of course the day that I decided to
go in to see how the whole process works it was closed due to snow. This put me into a peculiar
situation because the executive director of the program wanted me to write down what I had
learned about court and what the site director is or is not doing in the way of recruiting kids into
the program. When I think of the situation that I am in the middle of between the executive
director and the site supervisor a question ethics and morals comes to mind.
When speaking of ethics and morals I know that ethically I was not ask to do anything
wrong but morally I feel like if you are working with someone and you are starting a program
why would you want an intern spying on someone you hired but do not want to put the time in to
helping that person achieve what you want them to. I thought about that all week long and it did
not seem right to me. I have a conscience and if this is what administration is about I do not
want to be one. It seems like I am learning the politics of administration and I do not like
politics.
I have known my executive director outside of this internship and if given the opportunity
to do this again I would not have chosen this one. I am starting to look at him in a different light
and the fact that he is a religious man even a lay minister it is making me question a whole
church structure. I am not perfect nor is any man or woman but striving to reach the mark is
always the goal. As the weeks go by I am losing my focus and that is something that I need to
handle. I will hang in there.

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Week #9
Dear Journal,
I started off the week still not wanting to return to the truancy program because of the
assignment that I was due to turn in to the executive director. I did not finish the assignment
because I felt like having professional integrity was more important. I mean if you are asked to
spy on the only person that seems invested in the program that you have shadowed now for nine
to ten week what stances would you take?
This week was better for me because instead of letting the guilt eat at me for even
thinking about doing the assignment without talking to my site supervisor I decided to sit down
with him and discuss things. I let him know that I was very uncomfortable with the assignment
because I felt like it might be used against him if the executive director decided he wanted to get
rid of him. I also explained to him what the executive director wants him to do as far as the
direction of the program even though nothing is written down meaning that there is still no
official curriculum. When our meeting was over he felt good and was glad I had come to him
with my concerns.
We decided to get out of the office and do field work in the way of going to truancy court
10 and to the Douglas alternative school. I got to sit in a few truancy cases and they were very
interesting. Two of the cases went positive for the youth in court. One student was even referred
to our program in order to try and get the student back in regular school. The next case went
well also because the young lady with the help of her mother and the recommendation of the
school she attends ask for her to be released from truancy court. She was happy and seemed to
be on the right path stating that all her friends that she was hanging out with are either strung out

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on heroin or in jail and that she did not want to be like that. The last young lady was not so
fortunate and she was handcuffed and taken to Ferris. She had not been compliant with the
courts demands of her and she had a very bad attitude. The judge removed her from the court
room because of her profanity. She started crying but she has to learn one way or another.
The experience was good for me because I got to see all the involved parties go through
the motions of the court process. The judges were nice and they really try to work with the youth
to get their selves together and realize the importance of attending school.

Week #10
Dear Journal,
This week was an interesting week for me to say the least. I am having a lot of trouble
trying to help others out with their problems because I have a lot going on in my personal life
which is definitely causing distractions and leading to an unbalanced me. Professionally and
personally things are too intertwined and my personal is outweighing the professional. When I
am speaking of my professional life I am talking about work and school. Work is becoming a
problem because they switched my shifts again and I am not able to be at home with my
daughter when I have visitations every other weekend. I have to work eleven o clock p.m. until
eight thirty a.m. every Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I have babysitter but when it
comes time for me to leave for work my daughter gets upset and so do I. I cherish our time
together and even though she is sleep when I am working I do not understand the schedule when
changes can be made. I mean I have been told that the schedule is the way it is because people
are going to the union and complaining because they do not want to work with other folk or they

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14

have other jobs. I feel like I always come to my supervisor in a professional manner with a
legitimate working concern and I never go to the union. I work with everyone and I do not cause
any trouble. I just had to get that off my shoulders and I know it has nothing to do with my
internship or class.
This week started off with me in a medical aide unit in Christiana with a sinus infection
and severe sore throat. I was given an anti-biotic and a nasal spray so that cut into my hours of
being at the program physically however that did not stop me from staying in contact with my
site supervisor about what I missed this week. As expected he went to the truancy court on
Tuesday and Thursday and received two referrals. He also spoke with the guardians of both
youth and from my understanding they both seem to be on board in supporting their children out
of truancy court. On Wednesday the site-supervisor held group at the Douglas Alternative
School which I also missed but he explained that the children that were enrolled in the program
none of them showed up to school to participate. That was a bit disappointing but not a complete
shocker. We talked a bit more and I shared some hesitations that I have about not wanting to
communicate with my executive director and even if administration was where I wanted to be in
the future. I know we make our own paths if given the opportunity but I do not want to do things
the way that my executive director does. I do not want to judge him but as an African American
male in his position I feel like he has not equipped someone he has hired to succeed.
I hope to be changing my tune soon but until next time I am signing off.

Week #11
Dear Journal,

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15

The finish line is in sight I just do not know where I am going to muster up enough
strength to finish. I am struggling internally with somethings that are really affecting everything
around me. My participation in my internship has taken a backseat to some of the obstacles that
I am trying to conquer in my personal life. It has been a constant battle since December of 2014.
I took last week off because I had a sick daughter at home for three days last. She stayed with
me due to her mother having to work and when she finally went to the doctors office she had a
case of strep throat. As far as the internship goes I failed last week at a valuable skill needed to
be a successful Administrator. That skill is communication and its importance.
I did not communicate what was going on with my daughter or me last week to my
executive director or my site supervisor. Part of me not communicating was to see if they really
cared about what was going on with me and the other part was me losing interest in the program.
I still have hours to complete and to be honest that is really all that I am focused on. I have not
heard from my executive director in like month and I am not looking forward to seeing him
although I know that I need to. I do not like being confrontational but I just have a feeling that
when we meet again it everything will be put on me as far as communicating and report writing
and basically passing the buck on to me. Some of this is deserving however, if we are all adults
lets accept responsibility for what we have or have not done. I really have not learned too much
from my executive director except if youre the boss you can make your own rules.

Week #12
Dear Journal

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This week was a reflection week on what is left for me to complete for my internship
class. I did not go into the truancy intervention program this week due to somethings that I
needed to take care of with my parents but I am still on track to take care of the 120 hours that I
am obligated to due. I am glad that the semester is almost over but I do still have a lot of work
that I need to complete. I do not want to wait until the last minutes trying to do things at the last
minute considering that is a skill that I have put in my learning contract and want to improve on.
I will continue to work on my e-portfolio and get some signatures that I need for my internship
packet. Hopefully I will get some cooperation from the management team at the truancy
intervention program. Other than this my journal is short this week.

Week #13
Dear Journal
I finished all my hours this week so rightfully my internship should be over. My executive
director still has not returned my learning contract signed even after my instructor sent an email
or at least not to my knowledge. I also put a power point together or actually showed him on that
I did in class about what I felt like the truancy intervention program was and it got marked up
with a red pen. It is funny but that same power point presentation was shown in class and I was
allowed to execute it to the grade of an A. My executive director still wants me to present
other slides to show that I know what I observed while at the program. I also have other work
that needs to be signed off on in order for me to turn in which he has had since the beginning of
the course.

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On a more positive note I enjoyed learning what I learned from the program. The site/field
supervisor took me out in the community and networked with schools and introduced me to
administrators that he knew from different schools. He also introduced me to the judges at
truancy court 10 and some of the visiting teachers from the school. He spent time with me
talking about experiences and introducing me to the clients that where in the program. We
visited his clients at their schools. I will admit that there was a lot of time without a lot of
direction. I had plenty of time to work on school work but I did not rely get the administrator
experience that I thought I was going to get and the truancy intervention program still seems to
be stuck at the same point it was when I first walked through the door. This is the last Journal I
will be writing for the course and it is the first time I have consistently kept a journal for a certain
length of time.

Week #14
Dear Journal,
I thought I did my last journal but I was mistaken. This will be the last journal for this
semester for sure. I must say I really enjoyed the class part of my internship but I have grown to
not like my field part of my internship. I feel like I have not learned much about leadership at
all. Basically I was to observe and report which I did but I felt like my duty was to spy on the
field/site supervisor. That really tested me because I felt like if that is what the executive director
wanted someone to do he should have hired someone for that.
Most of the time when a leader wants to something like that done he hires someone for
that type of mission but in this case why pay for a service when you have a free pawn to tell what

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to do. The only thing about that is I have a mind of my own and I do not believe in doing other
peoples dirty deeds. Karma is something else and it catches up to people sooner or later.
Anyway that is enough about that it was very negative.
I did enjoy the thought of being affiliated with something that I felt and still feel can be
great for the city of Wilmington. The service is needed and if the staff starts working together
for the same cause and operate together the program will fly. Communication is so important
and when it lacks everything is at jeopardy. I hope that this program starts helping the
community soon.
Thank you,
Christopher Moulden