Brian

Felt

How does non-verbal communication work? Is it more accurate than what is
blurted out of ones mouth? How accurate can it be depicted among different age
groups and between married and un-married couples?


Human intimacy is derived from multiple levels of verbal and non-verbal
communication. Awareness to the non verbal cues conveys intimacy and gives one a
fairly good sense of the closeness and warmth within a relationship of two given
people. (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p. 233) I went to a mall on the weekend to observe
these cues from single and married individuals.

The first observation that I made was in Brookstone where an employee
(female) was helping out a customer (also female). They stood about 2-3 feet apart.
The textbook notes that this is called the personal space which allows for sensory
information but not at the same level of detail as the intimate zone. (Strong & Cohen,
2014, p. 234) They made the transaction and she walked out of the store.

The second observation that I made was watching two friends walk near a
couple of clothing stores. They were excited to buy some new clothes and prancing
around with arms linked. They constantly made eye contact and they were making
similar body expressions which also confirmed high interest. They were within
inches of each other the entire time, even when arms werent locked. This is
considered the intimate zone which is the interaction among close friends, family,
or a partner within 0-18 inches of space. (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p. 234) They were
obviously quite close as they were hugging excitedly as they entered a clothing
store.

A married couple in the Apple Store wasnt nearly as excited, but as they
browsed for what looked like a new laptop or desktop. They were shoulder to
shoulder and the wife put her head on the husbands shoulder frequently as they
looked through which model to buy. She also had her hand on his back for most of
the time that I was observing them, and as the textbook states, touch may be used
to display closeness, support, and warmth (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p. 235) There
was another couple buying a LuvSac that were not getting along well since they
couldnt decide what color to buy. They didnt make much eye contact and they
werent as close in distance as the previous mentioned couple. It was easy to tell
that they werent happy with each other at the moment.

One funny interaction was between two teenagers and their friends near the
cafeteria. A group of teenage boys saw a group of teenage girls, and one dared his
friend to go up and get the phone number of the most attractive girl of the group. As
he approached and asked her, she didnt want to make eye contact with him when
he asked her for her number. She then made up some excuse that they had to run
and pick up her phone from a store because they were putting a case on it and they
quickly left. This is known as an exchange cue and some people believe that this is
the most polite form of rejection without saying, No, please go away. (Strong &
Cohen, 2014, p. 234)


Within the mall there were singles and married couples from different
cultures. It was interesting to note that I saw mainly Latinos and Americans with
the most eye contact out of the few couples that I saw.

Women were more likely to touch shoulders and scratch a mans back
whereas the men were more likely to initiate holding hands with females. These
two instances were for the couples, of course. Groups of teenage boys were more
likely to travel with sunglasses and try to look cool whereas the girls were more
excited about entering stores and finding new shops within Fashion Place Mall.

This was an interesting outside experience because mainly one would not
pay attention to which gender initiates what type of contact or even the non-verbal
cues. The non-verbal cues tell a lot about what a person is thinking or feeling about
the interaction happening in front of them. These are important to note especially
when dealing with someone of the opposite sex that one is interested in so that a
good connection can be made.


Sources:

The Marriage and Family Experience
Bryan Strong and Theodore F. Coden, (2014). Twelfth Edition. The Marriage and
Family Experience: Intimate Relationships in A Changing Society, Wadsworth:
Cengage Learning.

Pages Referenced: 233-235