Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Social Superstar by Bobby Rio
Social Superstar by Bobby Rio
SOCIAL SUPERSTAR:
Best of TSB Magazine Vol. 1
Table of Contents
Introduction
Part 1: The Confidential Social Intelligence Manuscript
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Aim Lower
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Social Superstar
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Snowballed
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Social Superstar
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Index
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Introduction
This book is five years in the making!
Who was there for the red and black days? For those that just came on
board recently, the red and black days refers to the early days of TSB
when it had a blood red header with a black background and white text.
And Mike and I thought the site looked hot.
Putting this book together brought back many memories. I had to search
through over 1,500 articles to choose the very best. The evolution of the
site, in a way, represents the evolution of both the life of me, and the life
of Michael Stoute.
We wanted to make this book a diverse look at the four years leading up
to its publication. Instead of focusing solely on dating articles, stories, or
self help type articles, we chose to break the book up into six parts.
These six parts are a great representation of TSB Magazine, as well as
Bobby Rio and Michael Stoute- the men behind the magazine.
Another reason we chose to break the book up into four parts is because
we think you will get more value of it that way. There are articles in here
that will help you with all aspects of your life. For instance, if you
bought this book for the pickup advice, you might be pleasantly surprised
in six months to read some articles about fitness, fashion, or inner game,
you may have missed earlier when you re were concentrating solely on
devouring all things pickup.
The six parts of this book are as follows:
Part 1: The Confidential Social Intelligence Manuscript
This is our never before released manuscript for becoming a social
superstar. This manuscript was first created over 10 years ago. Over the
past 10 years it has been tested and refined. This contains everything you
need to know to climb to the top of any social ladder.
Part 2: The Best of TSB Magazine
Social Superstar
Going through our huge library of dating, pickup, relationship and sex
articles, I found it tough to choose the best so I decided to choose
articles that give you a well rounded approach to improving your dating
life.
Most of these articles came out Mikes and my own personal experience
of improving our dating life. It wasnt a quick and easy ride for either
one of us we hope that these articles will make your ride a little less
bumpy.
help you improve your dating life. There are 31 lessons that walk you
through many different areas of game.
Whether youre a novice or an experienced PUA, I believe that you can
get something out of following the 31 day plan.
The lessons were brought to you by some of the best dating coaches,
bloggers, and gurus, all giving their unique perspective on improving
certain areas of game.
I think youll enjoy this section a lot.
Social Superstar
Introduction
This manuscript has been developed over the past 10 years. Everything
in this manuscript has been tested and refined. It works. The only
reason I have not released it up until now is because many of the
strategies contained in this manuscript I have personally used within
some of my current social circles.
This manuscript was first conceived while I was back in college. One of
my friends and I attended a private seminar held by social scientist Dr.
Robert Ciaduini. We took the teaching of Dr. Ciaduini, which focused
on the psychology of influence, and we applied to the realm of climbing
the social ladder.
The teachings in this manuscript transformed my friends back at
Montclair State University from relative nobodies- into a group of men
who threw 400+ people parties, and were even featured on prime time
news for our antics at the Homecoming day parade.
After graduating college I took the principles originally constructed and
altered them a bit for "the real world." I found them to be even more
effective.
It was around 2002 and that I found the underground seduction
community. At that point I was just coming out of a relationship and
began studying the art of seduction. It was at this point that I took the
original manuscript and began altering it to include some more of the
hidden techniques of some of the world's best pick-up artists.
This manuscript is not going to teach how to be the world's best pick-up
artist. Pick-up artists are usually defined by their ability to cold approach
a random woman and quickly close her. If you follow the guidance of
this manuscript- you will never have the need to cold approach again.
This manuscript is about building an empire of friends and fans. And
with those friends and fans women will naturally follow.
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Social Superstar
11
After you have jotted down a list of the distinct characteristics I want you
to dig a little deeper. I want you to envision the way other people react
to them. Hear the way people speak about them when they were not
around. Envision the look on peoples faces when they walk into a
room. Or the energy that is sucked out of the room when they depart.
Imagine the way a woman would react to one of their advances. Imagine
the way their entourage would follow one of their commands.
Now spend a minute writing down the different ways in which people
react to them. Try to describe the energy that these social superstars
instilled in others around them. Try to capture in words, the envy that
other people felt towards them. Write down the desire that women had
toward them.
The reason that I have asked you to write down both the specific
characteristics of these men and the specific ways in which people
reacted to them, is because it is my way of outlining the goal for this
manuscript.
If you want to become a Social Superstar, you must first have a clear goal
of what you are trying to become, and why you want to become it.
In the following chapters I will delve much deeper into the process you
must go through to elevate yourself to Social Superstar status amongst
your social scene, and ideally onto a greater stage.
The Reaction They Receive
What you must first understand going forward is that what causes these
men to rise to the level of social superstar has nothing to do with what is
inside of them. In fact, fundamentally it has nothing to do with them at
all. It has everything to do with the way that people react to them. You
can't become a superstar if you don't have fans propping you up.
I will repeat this phrase for emphasis: It has everything to do with the
way that people react to them.
This is important for you to fully comprehend this for two main reasons.
First, by understanding that there is nothing unique inside of these menyou'll know that you too are capable of reaching their level. And second,
you'll realize that by using the principles of persuasion and influence- you
can manipulate the reaction you receive by others.
Over the course of this manuscript you will learn to use the principles of
persuasion and influence to climb to the highest level of any social
ladder.
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Social Superstar
Your objective:
The objective of creating an image is to establish both authority and
social proof.
The image you present to the world should establish you an authority on
your scene. Your image should sub consciously tell the people within
your scene that you are the person to look up to for determining what is
cool, trendy, or hip.
Your image should also convey social proof. In this chapter you just
need to recognize that by being trendy and fashionable you are
presenting yourself as having a high level of social intelligence. People
will automatically assume that since you have the social intelligence to
stay fashionable- you are actively involved with "cooler" social circles.
The Plan:
Image is everything.
It is how you carry yourself. Think like this. When you walk into a
parking lot, what cars catch your attention? The Ford Taurus? The
Toyota Corolla? No. The 745i series. The Corvette. The Porsche. The
SL500 Mercedes convertible. These cars are sitting right alongside of
hundreds of other cars. But you notice these cars. They dont yell out for
your attention. They dont flag you down, and say look at me But these
are the cars you look at because of their reputation, their fine details, and
their alluring Image.
These cars have a presence and if you want to be a social superstar you
need to have just as powerful of a presence.
You need to dress fashionably. You need to know what the current
trends are before most everyone else. You cant wait for your peers to tell
you what to like. You have to be ahead of them with the trends. Because
if youre waiting for them to dictate what you can wear, or what music
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you can listen to, chances are by the time youre wearing it, its out of
style.
Social Superstars know what the current trends are because they are
keenly aware of what is going on, or they have friends that are keenly
aware telling them what is going on.
You need to be up to date with the trends. If you dont have cool
friends then you need to be following fashionable websites, blogs, and
magazines to know what the trends are. It isnt called being trendy for
nothing.
When it comes to creating your image, I always suggest modeling
yourself after a celebrity that you most resemble or whose style you
would like to emulate. Celebrities pay fashion consultants thousands of
dollars to keep them trendy there is no reason not to take advantage of
the lessons they teach with every outfit they wear.
Generally I recommend picking a celebrity you most resemble. But it is
also important to pick someone who fits the style you are going after. If
youre going after the bad ass look you would want to choose someone
like Colin Farrell. If youre more of the athlete type choose someone like
Tom Brady or Tony Romo. If youre the artsy music type choose
someone from a popular band. If youre going for a preppy look choose
someone like Matt Damon. The examples Im giving may be outdated by
the time you read this. Choose someone in their twenties. Choose
someone who is well known and followed in the media.
You dont want to copy their style from a movie. You want to copy their
style from their day to day life, what you see in the gossip magazines.
You are probably thinking that you cant afford the clothes they are
wearing. Youre right. You cant. But what you can do is mimic the
clothes by purchasing similar outfits of less expensive brands. Another
option that Ive done is go to thrift shops or Salvation Army stores with
clip outs of outfits you want to put together. You can by a whole new
wardrobe for like $50.
You can also start putting more of your focus, money, and energy toward
you image. This is the basis of who you are in the public eye. Instead of
dropping $60 on a new video game buy a pair of the trendiest
sneakers you can find. A solid pair of kicks is your best investment.
Spend $100 if you have to. Everything else can be second hand. But the
sneakers must be the real deal. And once theyve run their course and
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Social Superstar
gone out of style. Buy a new pair. A good pair of sneakers or shoes is the
cornerstone of a good wardrobe.
But image is more than just wearing trendy clothes. It is the total
package.
In the next chapter, The 10 Second Impression, I am going to go into
great detail about how to use things like physiology, body language,
tonality, and posture to build immediate social proof. But for remainder
of this chapter I want to give you some more hints on how to make your
image more appealing.
level of self-respect (again, like most), then fake it. Take note - the trick
to faking it is to fake it with sincerity (this will be repeated further along).
In the chapter on attitude I will give you tips to help the right attitude to
come naturally to you.
By themselves, these simple details regarding a positive, prestigious selfimage dont accomplish much, but when packaged together they merge
for great effect. And now youve created presence.
When creating a charismatic image, youre using this instinct to your
advantage (which most people cant control because theyre unaware that
it is something happening in their subconscious). Heres an analogy: If
you look like a thug, youll be prejudged as probably being a thug. If you
look like your gay, youll be prejudged as probably being gay. And if you
look like a charismatic person used to respect and even admiration, you
will be prejudged as a person who is probably charismatic and worthy of
respect and even admiration.
Once youve been prejudged, its that much easier to create the effect
that youre after. Notice that we used the word probably in the above
paragraph? We use the word probably to represent the other persons
expectations. This is what he or she expects. And because they expect it,
now its that much easier to give it to them.
Many elements make up Image; presence is but one. Most people dont
understand the charismatic persona and can only assume that it comes
naturally to some people. Maybe for a very rare and select few. For the
rest of us, it is an acquired art - something that we practice in our daily
encounters with others until it is developed over time. Charisma opens
many doors and will get you into many places otherwise far off limits. It
is a very influential tool when you want something.
You need to always be conscious of how you appear to other people.
You need to give off the impression that you are an important person
and are considered an important person by others.
* Before speaking to a person, you ask yourself: How is this person going
to interpret my next few words? What kind of effect are they going to
have? What effect is it that Im going for? Will I sound like I know what
Im talking about? Or will I sound like a fool? Will I sound confident? Or
will I sound cocky? Will I sound sincere, or will I sound fake? Will I
come across as a good conversationalist, someone who listens more than
he speaks? Or will I seem as though I talk too much and therefore am
not a good conversationalist?
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Social Superstar
The above advice is sound, but you dont want to fall into the trap of
constantly being inside your head worried about what you are going to
say. What you say doesnt have to be perfect... You just want to think for
a brief second if what you are saying conveys confidence and coolness, or
if it makes you sound like a showboat, a coward, or hurts your image in
any other way.
You need to be a good conversationalist. If you dont have any clue what
makes a good conversationalist read through some of the articles on
http://www.tsbmag.com about building conversation skills. These
articles should provide a nice foundation for becoming a better
conversationalist.
Remember, you are being watched at all times. This means even when
you are not actively engaged in a conversation you need to present you
best image. Below are some tricks you need to convey:
* Never seem to be in a hurry - hurrying betrays a lack of control over
yourself, and over time.
* Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you
eventually.
* Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease - so when you
act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more. Cloak your focus on
the elements (which will more than likely seem intense when you first
start practicing the art) by being confident on the outside and relaxed on
the inside. Never let them see you sweat.
* Practice being subtle (subtle, as used here, means So slight as to be
difficult to detect or analyze; elusive.).
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Your Objective:
The objective of manipulating your non-verbal communication is to
establish both authority and social proof.
The non-verbal communication you present to the world should
establish you an authority on your scene. You are not only completely
comfortable within your scene, but those around you appear to respect
you and look up to you.
Your non-verbal communication should sub consciously tell the people
within your scene that you are used to being treated well. It should
convey that you are comfortable as the leader. And it should present you
as a man with high social intelligence. The combination of these three
attributes you will provide you with the requisite social proof you need.
Your Plan:
Imagine that you're sitting at a table in a crowded bar. You are observing
everything that is going on around you. As you sip your beer you are
making 10 second judgments on everyone that passes your table.
A man walks by; he is of above average looks, wearing a nice button
down shirts, trendy jeans, a stylish haircut, and an expensive watch. Your
3 second judgment so far is positive.
The man walks up to the bar, avoiding eye contact with the other
patrons. The bartender is busy and the man is forced to wait there for
his drink a moment. There is a person to his right and left, and neither
of them has squeezed over an inch to let him in. He keeps timidly
putting a finger up to get the bartender's attention. While the bartender
is serving a girl on the other end of the bar, the guy just stands there,
slouched down, and squished, nervously rubbing his chin.
In less than a minute your entire perception of him has changed. Not
only has your perception of him changed, but so has every girl's who was
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Social Superstar
eying him down as he walked by. So has the perception of every guy
who was subconsciously sizing himself up against the guy for dominance
on the social hierarchy.
Everything we've gone over in the preceding chapters regarding creating
the look of a superstar is important. Yes, you must dress fashionable and
cool. Yes, you must present your physical attributes in the best possible
light.
But you must be aware that there is more at play then how you are
dressed up. There are certain telling cues that allow people to make
instant decisions about your level of self esteem, your social intelligence,
and your sex life.
If you walked into any high school in America, within minutes you would
be able to tell which of the students were of the popular crowd, and
which of the students were bound to be eating their lunch alone in the
cafeteria. You wouldn't have to speak to a single one of them. It is all
prominently on display by the way they carry themselves, their walks, and
the amount of eye contact that they make with other students. These are
the non verbal cues that people look for when making a snapshot
judgment on someone else.
We've already discussed fashion, grooming, and physical appearance.
We've talked about how it is important that you always present your best
self, in your best outfit. But that is not enough to be a superstar.
That guy standing alone waiting for his drink. He's a good looking
guy, in a nice outfit, tan, and has a body most guys would kill for but
he just looks uncomfortable and out of place. Although all of the
physical signs should be pointing to "cool" it is apparent that he is
anything but.
There is a saying I love "Walk the talk."
The best way to remove any last hint of doubt is to "Walk the talk" and
carry yourself like a superstar. The way you carry yourself is the one
thing that cannot be faked. They can bring you onto MTV's Made, and
have you done up by the best fashion consultant, personal trainers, and
makeup artists in the world but if you're body's non verbal cues remain
the same; you will be identified as a fraud immediately.
In the following sections we are going to go into detail in the different
areas that make up your non verbal cues. These areas in include: body
language, posture, eye contact, and how well you follow the general rules
of intrapersonal communication.
If you are going to create yourself to be "the irresistible offer" you need
to hit them from every one of these angles. Everything about you needs
to be congruent, and must stand up to the test of scrutiny.
I don't want you to mistakenly interpret this to mean that you must be
perfect. As we will discuss later in "Never appear too perfect" you must
show some vulnerability and flaws the flaws just can't come involve
any of these cues.
I was at a seminar listening to the legendary Brad P speaking about how
to get a 10 minute lay. Brad is a well known social artist, and has a cult
following of men who aspire to be like him. In the first few minutes of
the speech Brad gave some details about the various 10 minute lays that
he has had in his lifetime.
After his powerful stories of success, he asked the audience why they
believed he is able to continually have women willing to sleep with him
after knowing him for less than a half hour.
One by one members of the audience raised their hands to give their
input.
The first student says, "Because you are extremely confident"
And Brad says "Yes, I am extremely confident, but there are a lot of
extremely confident guys who don't pull girls into random bathrooms for
spontaneous sex"
A second student says "Because of the way you dress."
Brad, who dresses like a rockstar, says "It's true I dress in a sexy way
and if a woman was going to fuck a guy in ten minutes he'd probably
look like me but no, that isn't why."
A third student says "It's got to be that you know how to talk to a girl in
a way that will get them horny enough to fuck you."
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Social Superstar
And Brad says, "Oh I get them so horny they can hardly contain
themselves when I talk to them but a lot of guys can talk a good
game."
The students shout out several more answers. Meanwhile Brad has been
writing each answer down on the teleprompter in front of him.
Finally Brad points to the seven answers on the screen.
"Everything" Brad says. "I get ten minute lays because I am all seven of
these answers. I am confident, I am dressed like a rock star, I talk good
game, I have sexy body language, and I make it impossible for them to
not want to fuck me in ten minutes"
Brad presents the women he meets with "the irresistible offer."
2. Be powerful
3. Be confident
4. Slow down
We are going to show you how to demonstrate these four qualities to
further illustrate how to create a compelling presence.
There are three main body positions in most social situations which you
can use to convey comfort:
1. How you stand
2. How you walk/move
3. How you sit
Here is an explanation of each.
Be Relaxed
The easiest way to make people comfortable around you is to be relaxed
around them. Subconsciously people tend to mirror the people they are
surrounded by. The more relaxed you appear to be, slowly those around
you will tend find themselves falling into a relaxed state.
If you want to achieve relaxing body language you first must relax all of
your muscles. This is especially true of your facial muscles. When we are
nervous we tend to tense up our jaw muscle. We also tend get really
tense in the shoulders, causing an almost crawled up appearance.
Along with relaxing your muscles you need to relax your mind. If your
mind is nervous it will be harder to control your physiology. The
easiest and most productive way to relax your mind is through slow
controlled breathing. Once you slow your breathing down, your heart
rate naturally follows. What you are basically trying to do is put yourself
in a sort of hypnotic state of relaxation.
The interesting thing about physiology is that once you learn how to
manipulate it, you can use it to your advantage pretty regularly.
If you are nervous and tense when you go out naturally the physiology
you present will be that of a nervous and tense person. But if you learn
to control your physiology, and stop the nervous, tense gestures your
brain will assume a position of relaxation.
In order to make physiology work in your favor it is necessary to
recognize your nervous habits, so that you can put an end to them.
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Social Superstar
Below are some of the nervous habits that you will need to avoid and
ultimately replace with more positive empowering habits.
When people feel insecure or nervous they start to have trouble sitting
still. Their insecurity eats away at them and they feel forced to constantly
be moving their hands. Some people will rub their chin or neck, other
people with run their hand through their hair, others will juggle the loose
change in their pocket. Doing any of these things immediately screams
that you are not comfortable in your present situation.
It is important to remember to keep control of your hands. Get in the
habit of catching yourself whenever you find that you are performing any
of the above habits. The minute that you recognize yourself using your
hands to display nervousness immediately stop and place your hands
by your side in a relaxed manner. Fight the urge to start rubbing,
touching, or fiddling. At first it may be a constant battle with yourself,
but after enough training you will naturally no longer perform these
nervous ticks.
The beautiful thing as I mentioned earlier is that the discontinuation of
performing these nervous ticks will trigger in your brain that you are no
longer nervous and your brain will command you to act in the way you
naturally do when you are comfortable.
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Being Powerful
While having a relaxed appearance will surely make others around you
feel more comfortable, alone, it is not enough to create that hypnotic
captivating presence. You will need to incorporate several other
characteristics into your body language. One of which is power.
The reason that you want to display power and dominance is because
these qualities communicate value. A low value person can be relaxed
but very few low value people will be both relaxed and powerful. A
superstar knows how to balance the two.
As we spoke about above in relation to "being relaxed" you will find that
the more powerful a physiology you present, you will naturally come to
feel more powerful.
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Social Superstar
People move for people that they see as higher status than them
subconsciously. The most common and obvious example are beautiful
women, and then high status men. The man might have status from a
style of dress, large muscles, or just the way he carries himself.
When you move out of someones way - especially a beautiful woman youre signifying that you see her as better than you. This does not bode
well for meeting her later.
Henceforth, you NEVER move for another person based on status
alone. Youll move if you meet someone handicapped, elderly, or young
children - and thats it. With people who are also high status, you will
move a half-step out of the way, and they will move the other half step.
With a solid presence, you will feel people who believe themselves lower
social status than you moving out of your way as you move through the
world without you even doing anything.
The Gunslingers Walk is a highly exaggerated style of walk based on
highly successful men and the caricature and archetype of an 1800s
gunslinger - either the white-hat sheriff, or the black-hat bandit. Men
who moved with raw electrifying presence.
Gunslinging isnt necessary, but it can be a hell of a lot of fun. Its
mirrored off people who brim with the utmost confidence. Simply
observing one of these people can strike wonder, awe, and inspiration
into the hearts of those around them. The key elements of a Gunslingers
Walk are:
Horizonview: Staring beyond the crowd and expecting it to part.
Thrown back shoulders: The essence of good body language.
Roll in the heels: An exaggerated roll of the heels at the end of each step.
Roll in the hips: An exaggerated push from the hips with each lift of the
leg.
Slow movement: Moving extremely slowly through crowds.
Knowing smile: The disarming, self-assured smile finishes the look.
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Social Superstar
presence, makes you look powerful, and means people scurrying will tend
to defer to you.
The Knowing Smile
When gunslinging, remember to smile - dont try to look hard. Its a
slight, knowing, self-assured and self-confident smile, with just a dash of
cockiness mixed in. A slight smile goes a long way with gunslinging to
keep curiosity mixed in and soften you up slightly.
How to Part a Crowd
Heres the secret behind my legendary gunslinging performances: Once
two people simultaneously break out of your way at the front of a crowd,
peoples natural instincts are to follow the people in front of them. They
assume that someone or something important is coming through, and
tend to break sideways. The effect becomes more pronounced the more
people who do it: So, you start gunslinging, with a view on the horizon,
great body language, rolling your heels and hips, moving slowly, with a
slight knowing smile. You dont look at people in front of you that are
oncoming, you look at one point off into the distance where youre
walking.
Then, one person moves - then two. Jackpot, theres a great chance the
crowd will break and you can then part the seas as you move through
it, which creates quite a stir, quite an impression, and quite an entrance.
Directing Traffic
One last tip thatll help with gunslinging, if you choose to try it. This
ones a bit more advanced and complicated, so get the fundamentals
down first.
You can direct traffic by which hand you hold up as people are walking
towards you. The key is to lift up the opposite hand of the way you want
the person to go, with your palm facing towards they way you want them
to go.
So, if you want someone to pass you on your left, raise your right arm
from your side upwards. Your palm should be facing left. This directs
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Social Superstar
traffic, though its tricky to get. Once you get it though, its invaluable,
especially in nightclubs.
The Gunslingers Walk is a potential nuclear reactor in your social
toolbox, so have fun and use it wisely. Dont go overboard with it, or get
high on the power
Being Confident
As I mentioned earliertheres a bonus beyond the initial differences
that changing your body language communicates to the outside world.
It also can change your inner one.
Seriously, this works. The Japanese have long held the belief that a
cluttered home leads to a cluttered mind, and a clean one, a clear one.
The outer world touches our inner one, and when you change the way
you move, you also change the way you think.
Dont believe me? Try it. Pick a wall and stand up straight against it.
Your feet, butt, shoulders, and head should all touch the wall, exerting
about the same amount of pressure (no smooshing). Now walk away
from the wall, but hold the pose for 5 minutes.
How do you feel? Right, like someone stuck a pole up your ass. Just what
we were going for.
Its going to feel weird for awhile, because its different and new. Keep
going, though, and eventually it wont feel weird. In fact, itll start to feel
good. Youll find yourself with this new confidence that wasnt there
before and doesnt seem to have much of an explanation.
Except that you are standing like you are confident. Cause and affect get
blurred, and you wind up feeling a certain way just because you are acting
that way.
Either way, you look better standing straight, and you project confidence
to all comers. Women find you more attractive, even if they arent selfaware enough to know why. Co-workers and those around you often
might comment that you seemdifferent.
Social Superstar
Habit 3: Keep your muscles relaxed. This is especially true of your facial
muscles. When we tend to get nervous we tense up in the jaw. You need
to keep your face free of this stress.
Habit 4: Smile often. If you dont have a naturally attractive smile than
you should practice in front of a mirror. A smile displays a positive
energy that is infectious.
Habit 5: Push your chest out a bit and pull your shoulders back. The
idea is to take up some space. This is another habit you will have to
check often to avoid falling back into the old habit of slouching.
Habit 6: You should keep your feet about as far apart as your shoulders.
Habit 7: Take up space when you sit. Spread yourself out a bit. Dont
slouch and look sloppy, but dont be afraid to get comfortable.
Habit 8: Walk with confidence and power. This means your head should
be high, neck up, chest puffed out a bit, shoulders back, and take big
slow steps. Try never to appear to be in a hurry or flustered. Also walk
with direction. This is especially true when walking through a bar you
never want to give off the vibe that youre looking for the cool place to
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be. You want to give off the vibe that you know where it is and already
are heading there.
Habit 9: Avoid making sudden hyper gestures. Every gesture you make
should flow naturally at the same speed as your previous gestures.
Habit 10: Use hand gestures when telling a story. When talking to
someone avoid clutching on to your beer or putting your hands in your
pocket.
The trick to pulling all these habits together is to use slow calculated
gestures. If youre giving a girl a once over, do it slowly like it doesnt
embarrass you that she noticed. If youre grabbing a drink off the bar
take it at a speed that says Im in no hurry. Try learning how to turn
your head slowly, how to blink slowly, how to change facial expressions
slowly and how to gesture slowly.
Most people don't even know what good posture is. When you tell
someone to work on their posture they automatically start walking
around like they are in the Marines. Most people think that to "stand up
straight" means tensing your back to heave your chest 'in and up', and
pulling your head back in to your chest. This isn't the posture you should
be striving for.
If you're unaware of what good posture looks like rent some James Bond
movies. Or any movie starring George Clooney, Tom Cruise, or Brad
Pitt. These guys are trained by professionals to be the embodiment of a
movie star. Sure, you might not have the money to hire their trainer
but that doesn't mean you can't emulate their posture and poise.
The spine has two natural curves that you need to maintain called the
'double C' or 'S' curves; these are the curves found from the base of your
head to your shoulders and the curve from the upper back to the base of
the spine. When standing straight up, make sure that your weight is
evenly distributed on your feet. You might feel like you are leaning
forward, and look stupid, but you don't.
If you're serious about working on your posture you better get
comfortable standing in front of a mirror. You'll need to constantly be
watching yourself. If you've got a mirror nearby go to it right now and
align your ears, shoulders, and hips. These points make a straight line,
but the spine itself curves in a slight 'S'. It shouldn't hurt at all if you try
this. If it does, you're probably forcing your back into an unnatural
position.
Now follow the above steps:
1. Hold your head up straight with your chin in. Do not tilt your head
forward, backward or sideways.
2. Make sure your earlobes are in line with the middle of your shoulders.
3. Stretch the top of your head toward the ceiling.
4. Keep your shoulders back, your knees straight and your back straight.
5. Tuck your stomach in. Do not tilt your pelvis forward.
6. The arches in your feet should be supported.
Good posture involves training the body to stand, walk, sit and lie in
positions where the least strain is placed on supporting muscles and
ligaments.
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You want to do exercises that strengthen the muscles across your back
and shoulders. You're not looking to build muscle mass so you don't
need to do the exercises with a large amount of weight. In fact, you can
even do these exercises without hand weights.
1. Align your ears over your shoulders. Raise both arms straight up,
alongside your ears. Remember to keep your ears aligned! Bend forearms
toward shoulders to touch your shoulder blades. Do 10 repetitions with
both arms, then alternate 10 reps for each arm singularly.
2. Align ears with shoulders. Raise both arms out to sides at shoulder
length. Hold for a slow count of ten. Slowly lower arms to sides,
counting ten as you lower. Slowly raise arms back to shoulder height,
counting to ten as you raise arms. Do ten reps, constantly checking your
alignment! If ten reps are too many to start, do as many as you can. You
should at least feel a slight fatigue in the shoulder muscles.
3. Be a penguin. While you wait for a web page to load, toast to pop, or
the microwave to beep, place elbows at your side, and touch your
shoulders with your hands. Keeping your hands on your shoulders, and
your ears aligned, raise both elbows (count one, two) and lower them
back to your waist (count one, two). Do as many reps as your wait allows.
You'll be surprised how much exercise fits into 30 seconds.
When you first begin to improve your posture you might find that you
neck or back will tend to get a little sore. This is why it is important to
do some of the following stretches:
Tilt (stretch) your head in all four directions over your shoulders
(forward, back, left, right), and gently massage your neck. Avoid rolling in
a circle, as it may cause further strain.
On your hands and knees, curl your back upwards, like a cat, and then
the opposite. Think about being able to place a bowl in the hollow of
your back.
When you first make the commitment to improve your posture you
should repeat these exercises several times per day. I'd probably start my
day off doing them to feel fresh and add some extra energy to my
morning.
If you have the time I good idea might be to take a yoga class. As you'll
find in later chapters a social superstar is looking for every excuse he
can to find new ways to mingle with people and make new friends. A
yoga class is a perfect example of one of these methods.
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Sitting
Align your back with the back of the office chair. Avoid
slouching or leaning forward, especially when tired from sitting in
the office chair for long periods. Keep your shoulders straight.
Make sure your neck, back, and heels are all aligned.
Keep both feet flat on the floor. If there's a problem with feet
reaching the floor comfortably, a footrest can be used along with
the office chair.
Standing
Stand with weight mostly on the balls of the feet, not with weight on
the heels. Avoid locking your knees.
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Tuck the chin in a little to keep the head level. Be sure the head is
square on top of the neck and spine, not pushed out forward
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Walking
Keep the head up and eyes looking straight ahead. Avoid pushing
your head forward.
The Eyes
One of the most important and critical components of displaying
powerful and confident body language is the eyes. Our eyes reveal more
about us than any other part of our body. Just be glancing into
someone's eyes you can often tell what is going on inside their mind.
There are six basic emotions in the human race. Each of these emotions
are easily expressed through our eyes. A glance into someone's eyes can
often reveal if they are experiencing happiness, surprise, disgust, fear,
anger, or sadness.
The eyes are often referred to as "the windows to the soul." This
statement is powerful because not only does it acknowledge the fact that
we can read other people by simply looking into their eyes, but that other
people can read us by looking into ours.
There is an accepted idea that most people will judge other people within
the first five seconds of meeting them. If this is really the case, then
doesn't is make sense to have them hypnotized by your eyes and your
understanding of their wants and desires? You can do this by using your
eyes to build rapport, and create a feeling of arousal in the person you are
trying to attract.
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Start with your eyes. Are they clear or are they bloodshot?
People who look at you will notice and the clearer your eyes the
more attractive people will perceive you to be.
If you wear sunglasses, get ready to take them off. Hey can add
Mystery, but ultimately people want to see what they are getting.
They want to see your eyes.
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4. Squint. The squint is a way of saying that you are thinking about
something, or alternatively that you doubt the truth or accuracy of
something that is being said. If you look at a woman and squint, it can
seem like you are sizing her up and trying to decide if you like her a lot.
You will see that many men who are good with women squint while they
are talking to them. It helps to place them in the position of being the
slightly skeptical selector.
5. Ultra-skeptical look. This is when you look at a woman like she just
said the most retarded thing youve ever heard. Basically, you pull your
lips into a half-smile (with one side of your mouth), while kind-of
laughing/huffing in a I cant believe she said that way, and
simultaneously shrugging your eyebrows. You hold this look and stare at
her until she gives into the social pressure.
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Once you've identified the habits that you want to change, then you must
find new expressions to replace them with. It is at this point that the use
of a mirror will come in handy. Now you have specific goals that you
want to achieve in regards to your facial expressions. Work on it, and
then once again have someone record you in a social situation. You can
continue this process several times until you get rid of all of your nervous
ticks, unfavorable expressions, and perfect your smile.
The use of a video camera can also really help you identify the body
language, posture, and eye contact habits that you may want to work on.
It is incredible how much we don't know about ourselves until we
carefully study ourselves on film.
Trust me, this will be an uncomfortable exercise for most of us. We will
notice things that will probably make us feel embarrassed or ashamed.
But it is imperative that you face this, and overcome it. This is exactly
the kind of training movie stars, models, and musicians go through with
their stylists and publicist. You need to be your own publicist.
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Your Plan:
In The Four Hour Work Week Tim Ferriss points out that in todays
world the definition of an expert is largely created through the affiliations
he or she belongs to, the testimonials they have, and the appearances
theyve made.
This means that in order to coin yourself an expert in say, the real estate
world, you would need to belong to several trade organizations, have a
bunch of happy customers , and have performed some speaking
engagements or received some media coverage relating to the subject.
With this definition in all likelihood, anyone can become an expert
on any subject in a short period of time.
I believe that you should view your social life in the same way.
Social Superstar
the place and then using routines and stories in your conversations that
further exemplify your high social status.
While I completely agree with this theory I believe that you should
take it a step further and position yourself as a Rockstar.
How do you do this?
You do this the same way a so-called expert builds his resume. You
affiliate with other rockstars, you get testimonials, and you make
appearances at the right venues.
A couple months ago Mike Stoute, Pete the Freshman, and I added to
our social resume when we attended the party at Playboy Mansion.
Sure I had a vague curiosity to party at the Mansion but I knew it
wouldnt be nearly as fun as some of my rendezvous in Brazil, or even
this past Mansformation Weekend.
Then why did I trek across the country to go there? Simple. I was further
solidifying my position as a Rockstar.
The value in the trip to the Mansion wasnt the girls we were going to hit
on there. The value came from the pictures we took, and the stories we
are now able to continually tell about the experience.
Immediately after attending the event, Mike, Pete, and I plastered our
Facebook pages with the pictures, twittered the news, and wrote detailed
accounts of the experience that we emailed all of our friends.
The results were immediate.
Within hours of changing our Facebook status to Partying at the
Playboy Mansion we each had girls we hadnt spoken to in years leaving
us comments and emails with questions like How did you guys get in
the party? I heard that it was a private party, who do you know? and
so on.
Last week when we attended a reunion at our former college, the news of
our adventure in the Mansion had already spread like wildfire and
were continually pressed and praised about it.
Do you think that created some instant social proof? We never even had
to bring it up in a conversation, as someone would inevitably ask us
about it.
It is a simple theory really. If you want to be viewed as a Social
Rockstar become one!
Elements of the resume
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The number one tool that you have in creating your social resume is your
Facebook and Myspace accounts. If you dont have an accountGET
ONE!
You have to view these accounts as your publicity machine. These two
accounts (I prefer Facebook) will be constantly marketing your unique
selling points.
You have to view your Facebook friends as a master marketer views his
list. To a marketer, a list is what creates sales a list is what spreads
word of mouth, and a list is what connects a marketer to his customers.
Facebook is your list.
I could write an entire post about the specifics of creating your Facebook
or Myspace profile, but youre better off learning from an expert. This is
an area you do not want to slack off in. If you're on Facebook simply
send me a friend request:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=515434783
When I receive your friend request- mention this manuscript and I will
send you a link to an hour long podcast I did with Race de Preist on
effectively using Facebook to meet women.
Once you have a platform for showcasing your proof you need to start
acquiring it. Remember, proof comes from your associations, your
testimonials, and your appearances.
Associations: The people you are perceived to hang out with.
Testimonials: What other people are saying about you.
Appearances: The places you are perceived to be spending your time.
You probably noticed that I used the word perceived in the above
definitions. This is because it is more important to create the image of
then to be consistently living it.
For example, my pictures from the Mansion create the image of a guy
who is invited to high profile-hard to get into parties. If you couple these
pictures with another group of pictures from one other exclusive event
youll be perceived as the kind of guy who regularly attends these sorts of
events.
The testimonials are easy to get if youre living the life, people will
naturally be talking about you and leaving comments on your page. If
youre new to it Race and Kelly give a couple fantastic tips for getting hot
girls to leave comments on your page.
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Social Superstar
http://www.windowshoppingforwomen.com/cmd.php?af=795295
Remember:
Befriend me on Facebook and I will send you an hour long podcast that
goes much more into detail on the subject of using Facebook for meeting
women and building your social scene.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=515434783
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Your Objective:
The objective of your attitude is to establish both liking and scarcity.
The attitude you present to the world should establish you as a likeable
person. The attitude and values you possess on the inside will directly
relate to the way you are perceived on the outside. Building up your
inner game will be make you the kind of person people like to be around.
Your attitude should sub consciously tell the people within your scene
that you are a scarce commodity. It should convey that you are so
focused on your own goals, passions, and commitments that your time is
extremely limited. Your attitude should convey the fact that you "are
going places" and probably won't be around this scene forever. It is
important to remember that other people must be lead to believe this on
their own- you must never verbally tell them or act in a way that you feel
you are superior to them and will leave them behind.
Your Plan:
Decide exactly what kind of guy you want to be
If you really intend on changing your identity and thriving in a social
world, you must first be fully aware of how you intend on looking, acting,
feeling, thinking, and being. This must all be completely fleshed out, not
only in your mind, but down on paper as well.
You need to have a clear vision of your end result if you intend on
getting there. Once you create a well-thought out- description of the
person you intend on becoming you need to keep this vision in your
mind as often as possible.
You must ask yourself the critical questions:
What would my "new self" think in this situation? What would he say?
How would he act? And at all times you need live and breathe that
identity.
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Many books will tell you to merely think it enough and you're
subconscious will magically turn you into him. It is your job to not only
be concentrating your mind on being this person, but actively acting in
the way you'd imagine this person to act.
I came across this idea by accident. My Ipod only had a few songs on it
at the time, and I used to listen to the same songs over and over while I
ran on the treadmill at the gym. Because certain songs tended to pump
me up, I played them more often during the point of the work out where
my adrenaline was peaked. Without knowing it, I was unconsciously
anchoring these songs to a feeling of an adrenaline rush.
I later found that if I listened to these songs, while standing or moving
around, I tended to bring back that exercise high I used to only
experience at the gym.
There are people who claim to be able to anchor specific feelings to a
certain touch, but I havent been able to do that so I wouldn't want to
give you advice that I cannot personally verify as being true. If you are
interested in learning more about anchoring check out a book on the
subject.
Social Superstar
increased pride in yourself discipline. These benefits carry over into all
areas of your life.
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The hardest thing I ever had to do a few years back was quit the
restaurant I was working in. The job provided me with a solid wad of
cash every week, close friends, and unlimited females to interact with and
date. Yet, I knew deep inside that if I kept working there I would stay
comfortable and never achieve my goals of running a successful business
or publishing a book.
Quitting the job not only meant burning my ships (as the job provided
me with money, friends, and dates) but it also meant eliminating my
crutch. At the time, whenever I experienced a set back at the real estate
agency I was working at, or got frustrated with the screenplay I was
writing, I would head over to the restaurant and drink with my buddies.
All was always good there.
You have to find out what your ships and crutches are.. and then burn
them.
Social Superstar
I will go more into detail about embracing your passions in the section
on being an interesting person. But in this section I just want to remind
you that the more inspired you are on the inside, the more it shows on
the outside. When you find something that drives you go with it. Let
it drive you. Let it power you. Having a solid, energizing reason to get
out of bed every morning does amazing things for your self esteem.
How do you find your passion? Think to yourself "what would I be
doing if I suddenly won $150 million in the lottery. Don't jump at the
first thought that comes into your mind. Really dwell on it. Really get
inside your mind, imagine you have this money, this freedom, and then
envision yourself in different scenarios. What sparks you?
Most people think if they won that kind of money that they would want
to retire on a beach somewhere but often when they really think of it,
they'll decide something completely different. Maybe they decide they
want to write children's books, or open a bar where they know everyone,
or volunteer for worthy causes, or travel the world, or paint, or write
music, or train for the Olympics.
The trick is to find whatever you would do if time and money were not
an object and do it now. Sure, you might not be able to do it in the same
capacity now, but plant the seed of passion in your mind. If you would
write children's books start writing one now. Spend an hour every
night writing. You might find that hour becomes your most cherished of
the day. If you want to travel the world pick one place right now and
set a goal to visit it. Once you visit that place, set a goal to visit another
place.
You'll often find that achieving life goals and dreams doesn't cost nearly
as much as you think. In Tim Ferriss's book The Four Hour Work Week
he gives an exercise called Dreamlining which allows you to see
approximately how much money you will need to make to finance your
dreams. In a later chapter I have reproduced that exercise for you.
57
You can't please everyone. And the more you try to please everyone, the
more you wind up pleasing no one. The first and foremost person you
need to please is yourself.
This is not advice to be selfish. It is simply advice to live life on your
terms and not let the whims of the masses affect your ability to make
decisions.
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Your Plan:
I was originally going to call this chapter- Be Cool- but decided that cool
is subjective and people might not understand it as a standalone
definition.
What makes someone cool?
Well everything we talked about in the previous chapter Look the Part
definitely plays a huge part in appearing cool. But looking cool doesnt
make you cool.
Looking cool is a good way to get people to take notice, which ultimately
you must do to demonstrate that you are cool.
And how do you demonstrate that you are cool?
Be interesting!
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Free spirited
Thrill seeking
Interesting people are often associated with these sorts of words. Take
some time for a moment and think about the kind of words people
would use to describe you.
Finding new, exciting, and interesting hobbies is not as hard as it may
seem. My first recommendation is to choose a few things that you have a
genuine interest in. In the late Randy Pauschs Last Lecture he talks
about rediscovering your childhood dreams as a way to bringing
fulfillment to your life. What were some of your childhood dreams you
gave up on?
Did you want to be an archeologist like Indiana Jones, a space explorer,
cave dweller, computer hacker, rock star? Who says you cant be?
In our times it is possible to make a hobby out of any possible thing you
may have an interest in. And even better, youre likely to find a group of
people that have made a hobby out of the same exact thing to share
experiences with.
The best way to find out the potential of turning one of your childhood
dreams into a current hobby is to begin by searching around the internet.
You can run a general Google search and see what comes up, you can
run a Yahoo Groups or Google Groups search and see if there is already
a group of people discussing it, you can search meetup.com for groups in
your area, or you can visit specialized travel sites to see what kind of
adventure travel they offer.
The wonderful thing about entering one of these groups is that it
presents you with an opportunity to meet new and exciting people that
you normally would not have come in contact with. These new
acquaintances might open your eyes to entirely new horizons. It is
amazing what you find when you begin to step outside of your comfort
zone.
Most people are confined to the day to day activities that make up their
comfort zone. This is what makes these interesting people so
extraordinary. It is their drive, determination, and ability to live life
outside the comfort zone that is so fascinating to us. They are a rare
commodity in a world where most people act like mindless sheep
following along with the herd.
Are you a sheep?
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There are more benefits to exploring a new and exciting hobby other
than being perceived as interesting. If you pick a hobby that continually
challenges you and forces you to continually dig deep inside to persist
you will grow as a person. Some people call this developing character.
Others will call it maturity. No matter what name you give it the
results are the same. You will be looked as sort of an authoritative figure.
You will seem to possess a wisdom normally reserved for wise old men.
The sad truth is that most people dont even finish a book that they startlet alone persist long enough to make it to the finals of a surf
competition in Hawaii. Most people quit a fitness routine a few weeks
after beginning- let alone climb to the top of Mount Everest. And most
people dont travel out of their state let alone backpack across South
East Asia. There is a certain amount of unsaid respect and admiration
for the man or woman who does these things.
Dreamlining
In Tim Ferriss's brilliant book "The Four Hour Work Week" he gives a
phenomenal exercise that will not only help you develop your passion,
but it will also help you understand the means it will take to achieve your
dreams.
I am going to take the next section directly from Tim Ferriss's book and
urge you follow this advice and create your dreamlines.
What would you do if there was no way you could fail? If you were
10 times smarter than the rest of the world
Create two timelines- 6 months and 12 months- and list up to five things
you dream of having (including, but not limited to, material wants: house,
car, clothing, etc.). being (be a great cook, be fluent in Chinese, etc.), and
doing (visiting Thailand, tracing your roots overseas, racing ostriches,
etc.) in that order. If you have difficulty identifying what you want in
some categories, as most will, consider what you hate or fear in each and
write down the opposite. Do not limit yourself, and do not concern
yourself with how these things will be accomplished. For now, its
unimportant. This is an exercise in reversing repression.
Be sure not to judge or fool yourself. If you really want a Ferrari, don't
put down solving world hunger out of guilt. For some, the dream will be
fame, for others fortune or prestige. All people have their vices and
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Determine three steps for each of the four dreams in just the six
month timeline and take the first steps now.
I'm not a believer in long-term planning and far-off goals. In fact, I
generally set 3-month and six month dreamlines. The variable change
too much and in-the future distance becomes an excuse for postponing
action. The objective of this exercise isn't, therefore, to outline every
step from start to finish, but to define the end goal, the required vehicle
to achieve them and build momentum with critical first steps.
First, let's focus on those critical first steps. Define three steps for each
dream that will get you closer to its actualization. Set actions-simple,
well-defined actions-for now, tomorrow and the day after.
Once you have three steps for each of the four goals, complete the three
actions in the "now" column. Do it now. Each should be simple enough
to do in five minutes or less. If not rachet it down.
This is a good introduction to dreamlining and illustrates how it can
create the needed momentum to set you on the right direction towards
achieving your life goals, and living like a superstar.
For the continuation of this exercise pick up a copy of "The Four Hour
Work Week" or visit fourhourworkweek.com
I could spend fifty pages trying to talk you into following your dream
profession and why it is completely possible that you attain it but that
is beyond the scope of this book. I simply want to point out the fact that
if youre in a boring, mundane, death trap of job you have options.
Do not kid yourself into believing that you dont.
I would recommend at the very least finding a job that youre passionate
about. Even if the job sounds like the most boring job on the planet, if
you are truly passionate about it, that will shine through. Passion is not
only contagious, but it is a vehicle for putting your charisma and
enthusiasm on display. So while the job itself might not be glamorous
you will appear glamorous performing it.
If youre starting from scratch and a curious about some examples of
interesting jobs, Ive made a short list of examples below:
FBI Agent
Firefighter
Archeologist
Airline pilot
Public Speaker
These are just few of the better paying jobs. There are countless
examples of interesting lower paying jobs out there like tour guide,
skydiving instructor, street artist and so on.
I would concentrate more on finding a job that youre passionate about
rather than choosing a job strictly for conversation pieces. I would spend
more energy on finding interesting hobbies. Hobbies tell more about
you anyway because they are what you choose to do on your free time.
Interesting Skills
A social superstar has the keen ability to keep everyone in the room
focused on him. In the pickup/seduction community there is a lot of
talk about demonstrating higher value. If you've follow the advice laid
out above in regards to discovering your passions and creating hobbies
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around them, you will most likely already be developing some interesting
traits and skills that are all your own.
For some guys it takes awhile to fully integrate themselves into a new
hobby or passion to the point that they feel it will benefit them in social
gatherings. For these guys, I suggest taking the advice of some of the
most popular dating coaches and gurus and learn some routines that you
can bust out at parties, bars, and gathering that will make you stand out
from the crowd.
In my college days I had two good friends Daryl and Kevin who
mastered one simple card trick that had audiences captivated every time
they performed it. It was a trick that they worked together on, and never
revealed the secret of how they accomplished it until years later. I am
going to list this trick along with several other types of skills and routines
you can learn to captivate an audience.
The Sniffing Card Trick
This trick requires a silent partner. My two friends Daryl and Kevin
pulled this off for years in college without anyone ever catching onto it.
Basically Daryl would pull out a deck of cards and shuffle them around
for a bit. He would then lay out 7 cards on a table or floor. He would
then invite someone to take part in the trick. Daryl would tell the person
to pick out one of the cards, show it to everyone in the room and then
put it back in the row of 7 cards. Daryl would leave the room while the
person chose the card. When Daryl came back to the room he would
begin sniffing each card. He would sell the trick well by really smelling
the cards and acting as if he was looking for a clue on the card. While
everyone's attention was on Daryl, Kevin would subtly scratch his nose
when Daryl sniffed the right card. Daryl would notice Kevin scratching
his nose, realize that was the card, continue his performance for a bit,
and eventually choose the right card. I saw Daryl perform the trick
countless times and no one ever figured it out.
Other Magic Tricks
I have never been big on magic tricks, but with the popularity behind
them do to legendary pick up artist Mystery, there must be a place for
them in this book.
As with all of the different skills I will list, it is important to pick skills
that are congruent with your personality. Magic tricks worked for
Mystery because he was genuinely passionate about magic. I'm not
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want to be social superstars too. There is no reason you both can't share
the stage for a moment.
If you get up on stage, you best rock the house. The first criterion for
this is that you have a decent voice and a good sense of rhythm. This
means that you have to spend a fair amount of time perfecting this one
song. Make it the staple of your karaoke choices. Practice it often, and
record it so that you can listen and fine tune.
You also need to have a good stage presence. Practice in front of a
mirror. Video tape yourself and fine tune your body language and how
you carry yourself on stage.
You are not to tell anyone about your ability to sing. When you get on
stage to kick ass with the band it is should come as total shock
which will amplify the effect, and make you seem just that much more
naturally cool.
This same idea can be applied to musical instruments as well. Sometimes
parties will have stray guitars or pianos, and some party goer will wow
everyone with his rendition of chop sticks from Big. Why not blow them
away with something really good?
Most people study for years to get really good at the guitar. But you
don't have to get really good. You just have to get really good at playing
one song. Which really comes down to mastering a few chords.
Anybody with a little patience can spend a few days perfecting one song
on the guitar or piano. Just find one of your more talented friends or
family members to teach you the song. When the party rolls around feel
free to strum away. Sure, some people will scream for you to play
another song. Just simply refuse tell them you don't want to steal the
thunder from the party. Even throw in a line like "I'd play all night
but that wouldn't be fun for anyone else." You'll come off as modest,
which is a pleasant characteristic of a super star.
Best of all you leave the social encounter on a high note, with your
audience wanting more!
Develop a character
"Humor doesn't go into a character is comes out of him. A character
needs a trademark or point of view that does not change. Without a
character, you're simply a recite of jokes. With it, you can get laughs
simply be being yourself."
If you think about the funniest performers most of them have at least
one memorable character who makes you laugh before he even says
anything because you already know what his reaction will be.
Let's use Vince Vaughn as an example. He has developed the character
of "smart ass." When you're watching one of his movies or listening to
him speak in an interview, you can almost feel what his reaction will be
before he makes it. You begin to expect a certain reaction. And often
times you'll find yourself laughing before he's said anything.
Because Vince Vaughn has really mastered this character, humor comes
much more easily for him. When he's responding to a question, or
making an observation on something he's witnessing, he just has to ask
himself what would "a smart ass" say?
It is important if you want to be funny that you have a character and that
you stick with the character. The humor actually flows more from the
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Social Superstar
character, the interactions, and responses than from the jokes. The
humor comes from your characters interaction with the world. Or your
character's interaction with your thoughts. Or your characters interaction
with another person.
In order to make this concept work you must believe it and act
congruently. You can't go into character, do it for a little while, get a
laugh then leave it. It won't work if you approach it tentatively and try
it it will actually backfire. If you keep trying to see if your audience
likes it will probably backfire on you, especially if they can tell you're
trying to use it to get their approval. Most funny people are not trying to
be funny. And they're not seeking approval. They are actually "being"
the character.
The character is where 90% of the humor flows from. If you can get the
character down, then all of the funny stuff starts taking care of itself.
Because once you "nail" the character, the humor will come with how the
character is interacting with the world.
Here are some roles that David DeAngelo recommends trying out or
testing
The I'm superior to you character
An assumed or fake position of authority
The character of the victim of her seduction
The cold guy, the straight man
The guy who only wants to know what's in it for him
A high maintenance chick
The ultimate authority and commentator on wussy guys
Imitating the women you're with
Becoming devil's advocate and promoting bad behavior
She needs adult supervision
As you can see that by merely immersing yourself in any of these
characters- humor will naturally flow out of it. The ones David
DeAngelo mentioned above are particularly good for dealing with
women.
Think about the funniest people you know. You will probably find that
they have a standard character that they have become.
For many years I developed the character of "daddy." I based the humor
off of Vince Vaughn. My whole character was the arrogant-what's in it
for me- jerk. I was able to make that character work really well. No
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matter what character you choose, you have to know fundamental people
skills so that you are "liked."
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These sorts of distinctions make you different from any other person
that might fall into this type. When you build an image, explore the
specific and unique details that will make you more complex; not a type
but a real person. We all carry with us histories, our experiences, and our
memories, each of our bundles distinctively different from anyone elses.
A fascinating element of human nature is that we all possess contrasting
traits, sometimes subtle, other times greatly conflicting. These contrasts
provide endless opportunity to make yourself more complex.
The best contrasts are so seamlessly sewn with your characterization that
theyre not easy to spot; they seep into your being. Your observer should
experience the tension, not be spotting contrasts like stop signs along the
road.
ADVANCED: use with caution
By nature we want what we are not supposed to have. How many of our
fantasies involve our teachers, friends girlfriends, single moms,
prostitutes, lesbians, cousins, and minors? These people are taboo. They
are dangerous. They are frowned upon. But danger is seductive. It makes
us feel alive. By introducing danger to your target you will make them
feel alive. And they will surrender to you for it.
I had a friend back in college. He was one of the most laid back, easy
going guys, you could ever meet. He also happened to have a fuse that
would occasionally go off, where he would lose his temper completely.
Not many people knew this side of him. His ex girlfriend learned it a year
into the relationship. They got into a fight and he hit her just once. But it
was enough to bruise her eye, and have her end the relationship. She
proceeded to tell everyone in arms length about what happened. My
friend thought is social life was over on campus. Little did he know; it
had just begun. He literally had girls throwing themselves at him.
He was now taboo. He was socially unacceptable. He was dangerous. But
the girls didnt care. The fact that they shouldnt do it only made them
want to do it more. Sure when they talked about him to their friends they
acted as if they disapproved of him. But in their mind they were
captivated by him. And in the end desire always wins out over reason.
I am not saying to go out and hit your girlfriend, or fuck a minor, nor do
anything other socially unacceptable behavior. What I am saying though
is dont hide what is there. Im sure if you did deep enough into your past
you can find something youve done that is a little taboo. Now at the
right moment you have to disclose this information.
You have to build rapport with your target. You have to allow them to
see all of your positive, virtuous characteristics. And you wait until that
point where you sense they feel they have you figured out, and then you
drop the bomb. My friend didnt have to do all of this because all of
these girls knew him previously. They had known him for years as a nice,
laid back guy. So by the time the story had come out, they all though they
had him figured out. But suddenly he was a little more complex. My
friend, although not proud of the indecent, continues years later to tell
the story of that relationship to girls he meets. He says of all the girls he
told not one stopped seeing him.
I had a job in a restaurant once. I was friendly with many of the girls
there and talked open and honestly about my sexual experiences. I told
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Appear Fearless
Youre fearless. Most people are insecure. Most people suffer some
form of anxiety disorder. Most people are held back by various forms of
fear.
If you want to stand out in a crowd; Live a fearless existence. Feel the
fear; then do it anyway. Most of our fears are completely unwarranted.
Most fear stems from our need for approval. We are held back by our
fear of losing our job, our fear of being laughed at, our fear of going
broke, our fear of rejection, our fear of ruining our reputation, our fear
of making a mistake.
What would your personality be like if you werent governed by all of
these fears? If you take a look at the short list of our major fears youll
find that not one of them is life threatening. In fact, most of our major
fears are solely based on what thoughts someone else will have about us.
How ridiculous does that sound when you really think about it? 90% of
the decisions that you make are influenced by your need for approval.
Most of us are working a job we hate, lonely or in a shitty relationship,
have given up our dreams because we are afraid of making the wrong
decision, and were not even afraid of the consequences of the wrong
decision We are afraid of what people will say about us what people
will think about us.
How refreshing is it when we meet someone who isnt controlled by
these fears?
Women are attracted to bad boys, because bad boys provide an
adrenaline rush that the average guy does not. In the average guy, a
woman sees a reflection of most of her fears and insecurities. This is
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why the average guy becomes her friend. Because they can sit and talk
and wallow in their fears and insecurities together. The bad boy makes
her forget all about her fears and insecurities. He takes her into his
fearless existence.
What is a fearless existence?
A fearless existence is one that is not governed by the illogical fears that
most people hang onto their entire life, depriving themselves of true
happiness.
A Superstar does not confine himself to these fears. He realizes that
short of death or serious injury life goes on after 99.9% of the
situations you enter into.
While it may seem difficult to "be fearless" it is not nearly as difficult to
appear fearless. Appearing fearless is really the objective.
Most human beings go through their daily existence terrified. Some
people are terrified of death, some people are scared of social gatherings,
public speaking, confrontation, poverty, natural disasters, terrorism,
relationships, cold calling, cold approaching, heights, the ocean,
airplanes and the list goes on.
Chances are you probably suffer from quite a few of those fears yourself.
If you do, this might just be the hardest advice you will ever receive:
You need to feel the fear, and do it anyway.
What was so iconic about a person like John F Kennedy was that he
always appeared so cool, calm, and collective, no matter what the
situation was. Whether the president was fending off missile crisis,
fighting for civil rights, or bedding Marilyn Monroe, he never showed eve
one ounce of fear.
People like their heroes and superstars to possess the traits and
characteristics they most wish they had themselves. They find these
characters exhilarating because they can't figure out how they can be so
fearless.
But the fact is; no one is inherently fearless. The difference is that the
bad boys, the heroes, and the superstars of this world overcome their
fears in the face of the public.
I am going to repeat a challenge that I laid out to you during our 31 Days
to Better Game series last July.
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Live the next two days of your life completely fearless. Just for the next
two days, say what you feel like saying, approach who you feel like
approaching, tell someone who has pissed you off to fuck off, do
exactly what you want to do.
Do you want to call out of work and go the beach? Do it! Do you want
to tell the counter girl at the bank that shes sexy as hell? Do it! Do you
want to finally change the style of your haircut? Jump out a plane? Get a
tattoo? Have sex with a stranger? Do whatever the fuck you want!
Whenever the fuck you want!
Do this for just 2 days and experience the thrill of being fearless. After
the two days you can go back to worrying about what people think, or
how you appear, or whatever other insignificant, trivial reason is holding
you back.
An extremely effective way to break through your fears is to tackle a
really big one immediately. If you have a fear of flying parachute out
of an airplane. If you have a fear of public speaking go to a
Toastmaster's meeting and give a five minute speech to a group of
strangers. You get my point.
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Saying less in a conversation also helps you avoid saying something that
will make you look foolish, or something that could be used against you.
This is especially important when you are out drinking. If you have a low
tolerance for alcohol; be sure to watch your consumption, as everything
you've worked for could be ruined by one night of diarrhea of the
mouth.
Once words are out, you cannot take them back. If you want to be a
social superstar you must not let others goad you into saying something
that you will come to regret. This means you also must learn to handle
your temper under pressure or when angry. As much satisfaction you might
get from an uncontrolled outburst, the consequences will linger on long after
the pleasure has subsided.
This also relates to a lot of the advice I give out regarding expressing your
feelings toward a girl. I always recommend saying the bare minimum. I've been
accused of being heartless, or not out for love but the truth is, I've long
figured out that the less you say to a girl, the more interesting you appear to her.
The more time she spends trying to figure you out, the more value she's
invested in you. In the heat of the moment, you may be tempted to blurt out "I
love you," but you've just given away your greatest bargaining tool. Once she
knows how deeply you feel the interest begins to diminish.
Revealing too much not only serves to diminish the interest people have in you,
but it can also be dangerous for placing yourself into a corner later on. If you
don't make it a habit of controlling the words that come out of your mouth, you
will wind up with a habit of letting your mouth write checks you can't cash.
Do not take this as an excuse to be shy or introverted. Shyness is not
interesting. In fact, shyness is a sign of insecurity. Shy people like to think of
themselves as noble but in fact they are the most self indulgent people there
are. I know because I used to be one. I used to spend way too much time
thinking about what other people were thinking about me. This is not noble
it is vain and reeks of self centeredness. And far from interesting.
Yes, there is a difference from being shy, and carefully choosing your words.
Social Superstar
I had a friend in college who was the master of this. No matter what
situation you were in with him you couldn't help but enjoy yourself. He
would talk up the occasion and make you truly feel that he was genuinely
pleased to be hanging with you no matter where you were or what you
were doing.
And he would always talk up his experiences to other people later on.
Even if you and him just sat in a bar drinking alone when asked the
next day he would be like "me and Bobby just had this really cool night bullshitting for hours in this hole in the wall bar we got hammered and
shared some hilarious stories."
Do you see where I'm going?
Social Superstar
ready for that explosion. When it happens sit back and smile, knowing
that youve already covered all your bases.
Social Superstar
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Your Objective:
The objective of the following chapter is to teach you how to develop a
legion of people who worship you. The previous chapters have given
you the tools necessary to be the type of guy who people want to be
around. But a crucial element to becoming a social superstar is to be
liked and adored. The three most important weapons of persuasion and
influence for building a fan base are commitment, liking, and
reciprocation.
Your communication skills need to be honed to near perfection. If you
want to have people following you it is important that you first get them
to like you. Once someone decides that they like you it will be much
easier to use the other weapons of persuasion and influence on them.
The following section will teach you exactly how to get people to like
you.
The second step in building a fan base is to get them to commit to the
idea of following your lead. People's attention's spans often waiver. They
quickly get sucked back into their own day to day existence. This is why
it is necessary to use specific psychological techniques that will mentally
bind them to sticking with you.
The third weapon of influence you must use to build your fan base is the
weapon of reciprocation. This is perhaps the most powerful of all the
weapons. This weapon simply states that human beings feel a mental
obligation to repay favors done for them. In the following section I am
going to show you how use the power of reciprocation to get legions of
people looking for ways to help you achieve superstardom.
Your Plan:
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This next section will get you further in life than any of the previous
sections. If you follow the communication techniques laid out
throughout the rest of this section you will make more friends, date more
women, earn more money, and live a more exciting and rewarding life
than 98% of the population.
These three weapons of influence (liking, reciprocation, and
commitment) are so powerful that if you can master them the world will
be handed to you on a silver spoon.
I learned this lesson my junior year of high school when I took a job at
Shop Right. I wasnt working there for more than two weeks before I
realized that the employees looked at the place like it was a giant night
club. Everyone was hooking up. And I mean everyone from the 16
year old cashiers to the 55 year old Seafood Dept. managers.
If youre in high school I would probably recommend a job in a
supermarket for meeting women. But once you graduate high school the
quality of girls your age working in a supermarket will greatly diminish.
I've put together a list of some of the best jobs to meet women at. These
are jobs for those of you still in college, those of you still waiting to find
your life calling, or those of you just looking to supplement your income
with a second job.
Remember these jobs not only open you up to meeting co-workers and
customers but you also get introduced into the social scenes of all the
friends you make at your new job.
Social Superstar
roaming the store but it will be hard to spend a good amount of time
hitting on them without pissing off your manager.
Barnes and Noble wont offer as many hotties working there but you
will have a great opportunity to interact with those who do. If at all
possible go for a position in the cafe. The cafe will offer the best
opportunity for flirting with customers.
Retail Store in a Mall- This job is for those of you under twenty one. And
it is perfect for you. If you get a job in a store like The Gap you are
bound to be working with adorable little 19 year old hotties. Hotties with
a lot of 19 year old friends. The customer base will largely be young girls.
Not only will your store have hotties employed in it but so will every
other store in the mall. If youre working there for awhile youll become
aware of the girls that work in Hollister a few stores down the girls
who work the counters in the food court and the girls selling bra and
panties in Victoria Secret.
The mall is a Mecca of female talent. Your game needs to be good but
not great, to enjoy the fruits of your labor. If you establish yourself as the
fun party guy youll soon be adored by all the Just Graduated High
School Hotts. And I ask Is there a better age group to be adored by? I
think not.
Waiting Tables in a Restaurant- Can you say social scene in a box? That
is what waiting tables is. Its an instant social scene. Get a job at chain
restaurant like Fridays or Houlihans and you will instantly be engulfed in
a social scene of 10-20 other likeminded college students looking to get
paid, get drunk, and get laid.
Youre game doesnt have to be good to work the restaurant scene. Youll
work with a mix of college hotties, single moms, and the barely legal high
school hostesses. If youre half way social and present your best self
youll get laid. A lot.
What makes waiting tables better than the other three jobs on this list?
Alcohol. The best part of waiting tables is that it is almost customary to
have a drink with your co-workers when your shift ends and we all
know one drinks turns into three or four.
The only drawback of a watering job is that there is very little chance of
scoring with customers.
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Bartending in a Hip Bar- This is the Pinnacle of part time jobs. You get
the best of all worlds. You will be raking in the cash. You will be banging
your co-workers. You will have your pick of the customers. Point
blank bartending is a power job.
Dont ask me why but bartenders rank up there with cops for scoring
the most ass. What makes bartending so great is that your co-workers
and clientele are likely to be just the kind of girls youre looking for
hot, easy, and they drink!
Its not easy to land a good bartending job at a cool place. But thats part
of the power in achieving it. Working as a bartender in a hip place says I
know important people.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
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How to be liked
I want to start this section off with a basic list, written by Sebastian
Drake, that you should copy on a piece of paper and keep this list in your
wallet along with your list of the six weapons of influence.
This list contains 13 characteristics of a likeable person. If you
implement all 13 of these characteristics to your daily life you will find
that people will instantly want to be around you more. When you
combine these 13 characteristics with the specific techniques I am going
to lay out in the rest of the section you will have the blueprint for
building a fan base.
In addition to this list, I highly recommend that you read Dale Carnegie's
How to Win Friends and Influence People.
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Making Friends
In the section below I am going to outline some steps for acquiring
female friends. The steps outlined can be used just as effective for
making friends with other men who will make suitable wingman, or just
good buddies.
I've also recommended reading How to Win Friends and Influence
People.
The most important thing that you will find is that once you implement
everything you've learned in the previous section you will find it very easy
to make friends.
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You must accept right now that you will never sleep with her. She is
merely a pawn in your chess game.
Once you've completely eliminated your desire to sleep with this woman,
making friends with her should be relatively easy. If you've followed the
guidelines throughout this manuscript than you've already established
yourself as a funny, interesting, and adventurous guy. You've already
developed a strong degree of social proof. This social proof gives you
the ability to befriend her. The social proof she provides you with gives
you the ability to become a superstar.
The most important thing to do if you want to win someone over is to
give them something. You aren't going to give them gifts, compliments,
or favors. These things devalue you. Instead you will be giving her
appreciation. Appreciation mixed with adventure and excitement. No
one can resist these things.
Appreciation simply means recognizes the unique qualities in her. Your
goal is not to flatter her, but to make her feel important, understood, and
special.
The easiest way to make someone feel important is to really pay attention
when they are talking to you. Instead of waiting for your chance to talk,
take mental notes of what she is telling you. This way you can discover
what her true interests and passions are.
Once you've acquired this information- you can use it to win her over.
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than looking pretty. Most girls want to believe deep down inside that
they're more than their looks.
3. Completely drop your guard around her. Don't hesitate to say
anything you would around your male friends. Be 100% completely
yourself. Don't stress your faults or blunders- but don't go out of your
way to hide them. Most guys put on such a front around her, that the
realness you display around her will be refreshing.
4. Develop an inside joke with her. If the two of you are involved in a
social scene together you can pick another person in that scene and share
a bit of information with her about that person- but tell her she can't tell
anyone. Make it ridiculously unbelievable, but play it up very well. Now
whenever this person is around, make inside references to that little piece
of knowledge. She'll always be questioning you about whether or not it's
true- and soon the mere sight of this person will make her wish you were
around to share in the humor.
5. Get her to experience something completely outside her comfort
zone. And make her have a good time doing it. For instance, after a
work Christmas party one year, I got the entire staff- women included- to
head over to a strip bar with me. If you can get her to do something
outside of her comfort zone, and associate the rewarding and exciting
feeling with you- she'll become addicted to the thrill you provide.
For more information on acquiring female friends listen to our podcast
on the subject at:
http://www.greatseducer.com/2006/12/04/podcast-1/
Communication
The way in which you communicate with them men and women in your
social group will go along way toward building your fan base.
Everything you have learned in this manuscript will work in synergy.
This means that the communication skills you are learning in this section
are dependent on you having already created your image, began to make
yourself more interesting, taken on the attitude of the winner, and give
off a 10 second impression of a superstar.
It is important that you've already completed the above listed steps so
that you will be accepted by your peers as being a "higher status" male.
The communication skills you are learning in this chapter do not work
nearly as well if you are looked at as having lesser status, or beta qualities.
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A lower status man who follows the principles laid out in a book like
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" will come across as
insincere or "try hard". This is because a lower status male will be viewed
as having an agenda. People will assume that he is being nice because he
wants something from you. People do not appreciate or respect praise or
admiration that comes from someone they view as being "lower" than
them.
On the other hand, people are greatly moved by admiration that comes
to them from someone they view as being "higher status" then them.
It is a simple concept. If a fat girl tells you that she likes your new
haircut you immediately assume that she has an agenda behind it. You
don't accept the praise as genuine. And you secretly resent the fat girl for
thinking that she has a chance with you simply by complimenting you.
But if a woman of exceptional beauty tells you that she likes your new
haircut you begin to feel proud of the haircut. A beautiful woman can
pick and choose who she compliments- and her choosing to compliment
you makes you feel special. You remember that compliment- and more
importantly- you feel a sense of "liking" toward that beautiful woman.
Now that was an extreme example because of the examples of the two
different classes of women. But this theory holds just as true when
applied to men who you view as having different social value. When a
man "lower" than you on the social ladder compliments you or does you
a favor you feel no special bond toward him. But when a man who you
view as being "higher" up the social ladder than you does you a favor or
compliments you there an unconscious bond that you feel toward him.
That bond is the feeling of the need to reciprocate. The law of
reciprocation is the most powerful of all the weapons of influence.
When someone gives us something of value, whether it is a compliment,
a favor, or a gift we do not feel a sense of completion until we
reciprocate the gesture.
This is why you will so often hear two people complimenting each other
within seconds. A woman will say to another woman "I really like you
earrings" and immediately the other woman will say "Thank you. I love
the shirt you're wearing."
People can't have the weight of reciprocation hanging over them. Even
though it is an unconscious feeling, the need to unburden one's self of it
is so powerful that a person often acts immediately to restore the
balance.
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This is the reason that some people seem to rapidly ascend to the top of
the social ladder. Once you have established a little bit of social currency,
you are able to multiply that currency. This is very similar to the saying
"the rich get richer."
Remember: Everything we give we will get back exponentially.
As you read through the next few sections keep this in mind as it will
allow you to see the true power in what I am telling you.
Be Fun to Be Around
The entire reason you should even want to become a social superstar is
for the fun and excitement it will provide you. Well, based on the law of
reciprocation- the easiest way for you to acquire fun and excitement is to
provide it to others.
The easiest way to be fun to be around is to follow the principles laid out
in chapter six. Some of the key ideas include: be funny, fearless, and
adventurous, talk about the taboo, and have some skills that entertain
people.
We did a podcast called "Being the badboy with women" awhile back.
This podcast includes many ways in which you can add excitement to the
lives of those around you.
http://www.greatseducer.com/2008/07/13/being-the-bad-boy-withwomen/
Social Superstar
Social Superstar
Photographic Memory
If you don't already own a digital voice recorder, you need to go out and
get one immediately. They are useful for so many activities. Other than
using one as a self improvement tool when it comes to perfecting tonality
and conversation skills, you can use it to demonstrate a photographic
memory.
You carry the voice recorder along with you in your pocket. When
having conversations with important people you just press record. Later
when you go home transfer that file to your computer in a folder with
their name (or better yet a code name.) These folders should be reviewed
before you go out to interact with these people again. You can play the
previous conversation and pick out important details. These people will
be impressed that you were able to remember things that most people
forget. You can also use this when getting a girl's phone number. Ask
for her number, then repeat it loud enough for the recorder to pick it up,
and then tell her you'll call her. She'll wonder why you didn't write it
down and assume you will forget it. Later when you call, you can just tell
her you have a photographic memory.
Be careful not to seem too creepy by remembering too much. Only
stalkers know every little detail about someone. But it is a pleasant
surprise and a great conversation hook when you ask them about
something they probably assumed you forgot.
Remember Names
I went back for homecoming weekend at my old college last October.
The night before the homecoming game everyone from the Greek
system usually meets at this bar called Alexis right down the street from
campus. I had been out of school for seven years, but many of my old
friends and classmates show up for what is basically a yearly reunion.
While I am ordering a beer this girl from a sorority I used to part with
frequently, says "hello" to me. She is a girl that I always thought was
pretty cute, but she always had a boyfriend so I never talked much to her
during college. After making brief small talk, she says "Do you even
know my name?" I looked her straight in the eyes and said "Of course I
know your name Kimberly."
Her jaw dropped. She was absolutely astonished I knew her name. She
went on to confess that she had a huge crush on me throughout college.
We spent the rest of the night talking and I arranged a date to hang out.
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himself. This is your chance to boost him up even further. Not only
should you acknowledge to him that you were impressed by what he
did you should brag about it for him to the other people in your social
circle. Tell the story for him- make him seem even cooler than he is.
Get in the habit of being the fan of those around you.
The flattery must be sincere. I say this because we all know that guy who
is always seems incredibly fake while boosting up his friends. This is
because he doesn't use concrete examples for his praise. He says
something like "Joe is the man. He is the coolest guy I know." This
sounds phony. The praise must be specific. It should be said like this:
"Joe is the man. Last week the two of us were at this bar. There were
two girls we both wanted to talk to. Before I knew- he's macking both of
them. It took him like five minutes, and he's making out with this cute
brunette. This guy is the coolest guy I know."
Do you see how much more sincere and real it sounds when you back up
praise with specific examples. You know that Joe is proud of what he
did. You know that he wants to brag about it. But he can't. So you do it
for him. He will love you for it.
You should also make it a habit to pull people out of their comfort zone.
If you know that Joe is shy around woman, help him to get over it.
Don't lecture him or try to impose "strategies" on him. Help him by
giving him practice. Bring him into situation where he will be forced to
talk to women. And later build him up. Talk about how "the girl was
definitely into you." If you can get him out of his comfort zone, and
contribute to him building his self esteem- he will forever be in gratitude
toward you. And you've done a nice thing for him.
Social Superstar
befriend the guy on Facebook and set a date to go rock climbing. The
day before you're about to go rock climbing you leave a comment on his
Facebook page telling him "Get ready for some heavy duty climbing
tomorrow!" It turns out that a girl you dated several years ago is friends
with him on Facebook. She sees your comment, and befriends you. She
invites you to come to a party with some of her friends. While at the
party- you meet and fall in love with another girl.
All because you left a waiter an above average tip.
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PART TWO:
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If you could make a girl believe one thing about you, what do you
think would most make her want to date you?
That youre rich? That youre packing nine inches? That youre insanely
confident? That youre talented, passionate, and intelligent? That youre
the energizer bunny in bed?
If you guessed any of these things youd be wrong for ninety nine percent
of the women out there. If you want to fool a girl into believing any one
thing about you it should be; that you are wanted by other women.
Girls are strange creatures. They are so unsure of their own opinion that
they need to confirm it with the opinion of other women. If they like him
I should like him too is the thought that goes through their minds.
So Im going to give you a quick list of things you can do to achieve the
perception to a girl you are interested in that you get laid and are in
demand.
1. Through Storytelling. In some of the gambits Mystery uses this
plays a huge part. Tell a story about you and a hot chick. The story has to
indirectly reference that she was hot. Never say, Me and my ex, who was
really hot That sounds like youre trying to impress her. Instead say,
One of the things me and my ex would fight about was the way she
responded to the attention she got from men. I wasnt jealous. Im not a
jealous person. But she was like a ham when she noticed guys gawking at
her. To me that's just obnoxious. You see you never said she was hot
But the girl will assume it. That example is a little over the top, but you
get the point.
2. Through Pictures. Take as many pictures of yourself with hot chicks
as possible. I dont care if these girls are friends, co-workers, ex girl
friends, prostitutes, or your cousins. The point is to have these pictures
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lying around your house or even in your car. Girls by nature love to look
at pictures. When she flips through these pictures and sees you with all
these girls a message will be delivered to her brain; I better keep this one
before he runs off with one of these girls
3. Through Text Messages. When youre out with a girl, try to set it
up to have many of your friends call your cell phone or text you. Texting
is even better. You can pull your phone out, read the text, and then
quietly put your phone back in your pocket without mentioning it. Girls
will always assume its other girls texting you. The key to this is dont
mention the texts and dont respond to the texts. Just read the texts and
put the phone away. If she asks who keeps texting, just say a friend
4. Through Unavailability. Dont always be available to hang out. And
when you cant hang out dont give a reason. If she says You want to get
together Friday? Say Fridays no good? Dont say why. She wont ask.
You can then say Saturday would work better. or How about early
next week Either way shell assume that if you can hold off meeting her
then you must be used to meeting attractive women, and be not at all
phased by having to wait to see her.
5. Through Taking Hot Girls off a Pedestal. Never talk about how
hot another girl is. Or how hot she is. If she asks you if you think
Jessica Alba is good looking, dont say shes hot it sort of puts you in
that category of college guys who read Maxim magazine. Instead say,
Shes got sexiness, but shes not my type. The girl will wonder what
your type is, and if she fits it.
These are just five things you can begin immediately to present the image
to women that you are in demand. If youre already scoring hot babes
this will just be things you do naturally and in turn will make you score
even more babes.
The rich get richer my friends
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Fuck an intro! Lets get right down to it. Because the more time you
spend reading this shit, the less fucking youll be doing. Read it. Learn it.
Understand it. In grain it. Re-read it if you fuck up. Apply these rules,
lessons, principles immediately in your life, and watch the used condom
wrappers pile up.
The first ten lessons apply in situations where you have yet to kiss the
girl.
1. Trust your gut. Unless you are a completely delusional person, Id say
on average your gut feeling is right more that 80%of the time. That
leaves 20% for error. Id say that is a chance worth taking. You know
when talking to a girl if you are getting a vibe or not. If you feel a vibe,
chances are she does too. Act on it quickly. Do not give yourself time to
second guess. Because second guessing comes from thought. And
remember, thought is the cheapest commodity on earth. Intuition is
priceless. Go with it. With that being said, if you dont feel it, flee. Dont
waste another second with a dead end lead.
2. Take action quickly. The biggest mistake you can make is letting a
good one slip by because you hesitated or wanted more proof that your
gut feeling was right. If you start looking for proof youll start finding the
opposite. The minute you feel your gut saying its time; IT IS TIME. Not
tomorrow, not next week, not after you get a haircut, or a new job, or
after you have time to plan out some advanced strategy. Those are all
excuses to delay. A way to procrastinate. That is your fear of failure. That
is your way of justifying the fact that you havent got the balls to act on a
good lead. If you want pussy you better be ready to act on a minutes'
notice. No later. The sad truth is there are a hundred guys lined up
behind you to fuck this one girl. Delay for a second, and youll be home
again masturbating, while the guy who took action has his dick between
her legs.
3. Lead the conversation in the direction you want it to go in. You
are probably saying, okay I feel it, now what? If you dont think it is the
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appropriate place or moment to kiss her, lead her to that place. If you are
in a crowded place tell her to come with you some where more intimate.
Tell her. Dont ask. Lead her to a better spot. If your gut was right, she
will be more than willing to follow. Now make sure the conversation
stays where you want it. If you let her start rambling on she may wind up
talking about something that kills the mood. Her dead aunt. Her last
relationship. Her current boyfriend. Remember: THE MORE TIME
THE TWO OF YOU SPEND TALKING THE HARDER IT WILL
BE TO KISS HER. YOU WILL TALK YOURSELF RIGHT PAST
THE MOMENT. Make sure you keep the conversation light and
flirtatious. Throw compliments out there, but DO NOT OVER DUE
IT. Find a genuinely nice characteristic of hers and let her know you
notice it. If she has on a nice smelling perfume let her know that youve
noticed. Dont try to flatter her with remarks about her eyes, or how
pretty she is. Those are clichs and hardly ever get you anywhere.
Compliment things that she can reply to. You tell a girl she is beautiful
and there will be silence. Silence is good if you are at the point where you
want to move in for the kiss, but if you are not at that point then you risk
a potentially awkward moment.
4. Kiss her already, damn it. I stressed this point in lesson #3 but it is
well worth repeating. Until your lips have touched hers you have shit.
Shit. Shit. Nothing. You may have had the greatest conversation in the
world, but if you leave without kissing her you are no closer to her pussy
then you were yesterday. Planting seeds is for farmers my friend. Chances
are you wont have another opportunity as perfect as you just blew.
5. The hand is the first step. Before we can kiss a girl we must make
use of our hands. This is our way of warning her that it is coming. That
way it is not a complete shock when we lean in for the kiss. Im not
talking about molester type shit. Im talking about making an initial
contact. Rubbing her back. Brushing hair away from her eyes. Holding
her hand. Holding her hand is the key. If you can get her hand in yours,
you are more than half way there. A nice trick is to grab her hand when
leading her through a crowded place. It will seem completely appropriate;
yet, it creates a certain amount of intimacy. If at all possible keep holding
it, once you get her through the crowd, a little longer than necessary.
6. Let her know your intentions if you must leave without kissing
her. Yea, I know it happens. There are times that you really cant kiss her
right then and there. If this is the case it is vital that you set the terms of
your next encounter immediately. Let her know, in not so many words,
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that when you see her again you intend on kissing her. (Hopefully
fucking her) Do this by stressing those warning signals I told you about.
Use your hand. Hold her hand for a second or two longer than normal
while saying goodbye. Tell her that you really want to see her again. Make
plans to see her right then and there. Dont leave it up to a phone call. I
hate making that call, and Im sure most of you do to. Set a date, a place,
and a time up.
7. Dont act hungry. Those who look hungry never get fed. While you
dont want to lose her to the competition, you also dont want to appear
desperate. Even if you are. Once you realize that nothing is going to
happen tonight, let it go. DO NOT BEG FOR IT. If she has to leave,
let her leave. Follow lesson #6 while saying goodbye. But do not try to
talk her into staying around. It will kill your chances for next time.
Always leave with the upper hand.
8. Be decisive. Make up your mind quickly and stick to that decision
firmly. There are a million girls in the world. Unfortunately you cant fuck
them all. Decide who the lucky lady is for the night and go for her. Once
you have decided, push the other ones out of your mind for the time
being. You will spread yourself to thin if you go for more than one girl at
a time. Now Im not saying you cant talk to other girls and use them as
jealousy tools, but know who the bitch of the bunch is and go for her
100%. That way if you fail with her- shes off the list.
9. Overcome small obstacles. The difference between a winner and a
loser is; a loser gives up that much sooner. A winner figures out a way to
win. That is why once you have decided on the girl, you dont give up
until you have gotten in her pants or there is a painfully clear rejection.
Dont settle for less. When obstacles appear, deal with them, and
overcome them. Most of the time the girl is just weeding out the weak.
Dont be weak. Girls do not like the weak. If a girl shoots one of your
attempts down and you continue on it shows vast amounts of
confidence. CONFIDENCE IS THE MOST ATTRACTIVE
QUALITY YOU CAN DISPLAY TO HER.
10. There is no perfect moment. This is kind of a rehash of the other
nine lessons. Do not wait for the perfect moment to strike up a
conversation, ask for the number, hold the hand, or go for the kiss. The
perfect moment does not exist. WAITING FOR THE PERFECT
MOMENT = ANOTHER NIGHT JERKING OFF. And I dont know
about you, but I am sick and tired of stroking myself to sleep.
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These are the toughest lessons to master. Why? Because they require a
certain amount of balls that we all have but tend to suppress. It is easier
to delay. As with anything in life. I learned these lessons the rough way.
When I say rough I mean I went months in between fucks. Months! I
watched guys not half as good looking, with half the sense of humor, half
the knowledge I had, get more pussy in a week then I did in a year. And
it hurt. Bad.
I took comfort in the knowledge that I knew more than they did. So
fucking what? It is all shit. Until you have that girl naked in your bed
begging for your cock to dig inside of her, you have not proven anything
to anyone. I was the king of content. If I knew I could have her I was
okay. NO MORE! I will say it again loudly, UNTIL YOUR DICK
PENETRATES HER PUSSY YOU HAVE JACK SHIT. Try and tell
me how you can have any girl you want on any given day, I will laugh in
your face. SHOW ME THE PUSSY. Because without it youre a
dreamer. And dreams are like thoughts; cheap and meaningless.
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This is simple advice. Ive done it. And Ive seen other people do it. And
it works. It works like a charm. This is best for guys who havent yet
developed their own personal style and unleashed their own personal
inner charisma.
People naturally feel most comfortable around people they know. They
are also most attracted to people that they see often. This is the reason
people often date someone they work with, go to school with, or share
mutual friends with. You see these people all the time and they are part
of your consciousness. When you see these people out you are drawn to
them out of their familiarity. Because they are familiar you feel rapport
with them and are attracted to them easier then someone you are seeing
for the first time.
Follow me so far?
This all came much clearer recently in Brazil. I was in a city where I knew
no one. The place is filled with beautiful women. It is relatively easy to
initiate a conversation with any of the girls down there, as I am a young
decent looking foreigner. What I noticed about myself is that I was
drawn to the girls that reminded me of girls I knew back home. I was
consistently going after the girls that resembled girls from my social
circle, not just in appearance but in manner. It wasnt a conscious
decision. But in a land of unfamiliarity these girls were comfortable. They
put me at ease. I felt a rapport with them which made me more attracted
to them.
This got me to thinking. When youre out and you see someone who
looks like someone that you know, dont you pay a little more attention
to them then the other less familiar looking faces? Most people do. Its
natural. We like familiarity. Women are the same way. Ive found that
when a woman I just met tells me that I remind her of someone she
knows, she is usually more responsive to me, lets things accelerate
quicker, and generally less flaky in future meetings.
So the question I had was how I could create this rapport more often.
And the answer was to remind women of someone they know more
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often. Since we dont know anything about most women and the men in
their lives, how can we remind them of someone they know? We have to
remind them of someone that everyone knows. And who does everyone
know? Celebrities!
I know a few guys who naturally resemble celebrities (not necessarily
traditionally good looking celebrities) and these guys have always had an
easy time opening women. Most of the time the women dont even
realize that the guy looks like so and so, but they feel an instant rapport
with them. This is because these guys are familiar to women. The women
feel like theyve known them for a long time. They put their guards
down.
So a quick way to gain instant rapport with women is to emulate a
celebrity. Most of us have a celebrity that we resemble in some way. It
doesnt have to be a great looking guy. It can be Tony Soprano for all it
matters. It just has to be someone that is part of national consciousness.
Once you decide on someone that you physically resemble (it helps if its
someone that other people have told you) then next step is emulate their
mannerisms, their tone of voice, their gestures, facial expressions, and
style of dress. Im not talking about stalker type obsessive shit Im just
talking about emulating someone.
You can rent a few videos of the person youve chosen and really watch
them. And practice. Practice their walk, their talk, and their mannerisms.
You dont want to make it obvious that youre trying to look like
someone. And the people that know you closely will notice the change
and most likely rip on you for it... But when you go out youll notice a
huge difference in the way you are reacted to.
Girls will open up to you much easier. This doesnt mean you dont need
the game to back it up. But it will open doors that might have otherwise
been shut. Try it. See for yourself and let me know the results.
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Last night after the radio show Mike Stoute and I headed over to a local
pub for a couple beers. The radio show was quite stressful as there was a
shit load of technical difficulties with the transmitter which messed the
phone lines up, and hence, instead of talking to our planned guest we
were forced to improvise. It left us feeling drained and just looking to
unwind. The both of us already had girls we were going to be meeting
later on, so our intentions were solely to chat a little and throw a few
beers back.
As some of you know, both Mike and I are recently single, and once
again experiencing some of the things that make dating such a pain in the
ass. Our conversation at the bar turned towards the girls we were going
to be meeting later on in the night. Both of us had been dating these girls
for a brief period of time and already beginning to experience the what
is this? or where is this going? or what should I tell my friends we
are? talk. The talk that takes the fun out of casual relationships.
Mike and I were telling each other various stories of times weve been in
the situation and how the different girls reacted. We were trying to come
up with the right way to answer the dreaded what is this? question.
Although the topic was somewhat serious, we began making a goof of it
by coming up with over the top comebacks to the question. Well, Sally
now that youve asked I thought we would spend a few weeks fucking,
you know, to keep my dick occupied until something better comes
along. The goofing put us in a better mood and got us laughing a bit.
Keen to the fact that there were two fairly attractive girls standing next to
us sipping drinks, Mike casually turns to them and says What's the best
way to respond to a girl when she asks what is this and youre not really
into her? The girls were all too eager to jump in with their opinions. The
four of us quickly became immersed in conversation. Soon the question
became what do you say when someone tells you I love you during sex,
and you dont feel the same way? This got the conversations even livelier
and more provocative. Soon the two girls were met by another female
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them. If the notion of naming a couple pugs Hall and Oates doesnt
make you laugh, how is it supposed to be entertaining to a girl youre
imposing it on?
Joseph Mathews wrote one of my favorite books on opening called The
Art of Approaching but I think the biggest mistake others who buy that
book make is that they skip all the great theory and skill building and flip
right to the long collection of openers. There is nothing magic in an
opener that Mathews created, or Mystery created, or Style or Tyler
Durden or Mehow. Those are just openers that happened to work for
them. Just like I wrote about Mikes what's the best answer opener, and
Im sure Ill read in some field report in a few weeks how someone used
that as their opener.
I think instead of focusing on what Mike said to initiate the conversation
last night you should focus on the way the night took place. Mike and I
went out to have some good conversation. We were discussing a topic
that interested and entertained us. When the point in the conversation
called for another opinion we casually turned to the girls next to us and
asked them a question. Our energy was good, our topic interesting, and
everything flowed from there.
Now you may not always be in the middle of a great conversation when
you want to approach a girl. If thats the case, instead of using an opener
from someone elses past great conversation, use one from your own. If a
couple nights ago you and a few friends were in a heated debate over
whether or not American Idol is rigged then draw upon that
conversation for an opener. If you were talking about who turns out
more successful the high school nerds or jocks then use that as opener.
At least you had some emotional involvement in them at one point.
And I think if youre genuinely curious about the answer than you wont
hear that little nagging voice in the back of your head calling you a fraud
when you say Do floss before brushing?
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Talking dirty to girls is something that I have struggled with for a long
time. It is only now that I feel pretty comfortable doing it, still with
some hesitancy. I am sure that this comes to some men pretty easily, but
it just didnt to me.
There I was, enjoying some great sex when I hear Tell me how you like
fu*king my pus*y
Now dont get me wrong, I did like fu*king her pus*y, yet I didnt feel
compelled to actually say it to her? Then when I would say it, I felt like I
didnt use a strong enough tone of voice and sounded weird. With all this
going on I actually start to lose woodGreat!
I couldnt really understand why I was having this problem. I was
confident in all other areas of my game, yet when it came to this I was on
new ground. What I realized is that most of the problem had to do with
me dating a different breed of woman. A woman who may not be so
confident in life, but has ultimate confidence in the bedroom. Girls with
more sexual experience than me in some cases
MAN UP
These women want someone to take control; hair pulling seems to be as
common a missionary these days. Spanking makes me think of bootys,
not babies and giving girls mild titty twisters (purple nurple) is coming
back.
The sexual culture is changing and you may be missing it. Women like
this dont just tell you to pull their hair and spank them, you have to
know!
So how do you know?
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You have to build rapport and maintain Kino escalation to test the
waters. (Build comfort and get her comfortable with you touching her
and vice versa) Then move this forward veeeeerrrrrrryyy slowly.
Maybe start while you are talking and touch her arm, and leave it there
for like 5-10 seconds. NEVER GROPE! Keep it real calm and relaxed.
Later on lean in to talk to her and use touching her leg as an effect in
something you are saying. Example: You're telling some story about
something and you say. Then he grabs me and .. When you say
grabs me, grab her leg for a sec, at most until you finish your sentence,
then pull away and continue with your story.
Later on (if you are still being your cool guy self and are not being
creepy) you need to start looking for opportunities to make a comment
about her anatomy, I would go for the ass, one because it is the least
confrontational and two, because I love ass! With confidence say
something like, You have a really nice looking ass, would you mind if I
gave it a little smack? MAKE SURE YOU HAVE GREAT KINO
AND RAPPORT BEFORE ATTEMPTING A BOLD APPROACH
LIKE THIS; IT WORKS FOR ME...THATS ALL I CAN SAY.
Most girls just laugh, some let me smack it on the spot and others make
me work for it a little. Either way, its a great SOI (statement of intent)
that will for sure keep you out of the friend zone.
If it does work, you may have just found you next sex tigress!
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This is a list of what it takes for a girl to keep me interested. I think that
you'll find doing these same things will keep the girl interested as well.
We are all simply humans.
1. Confuse me. Nothing keeps me more interested than a girl I cant
figure out. In the beginning I need to wonder what's going on. Once you
tell me I lose interest. Play with my head. Tell me you want a relationship,
but then never be available to hang out. Tell me you want your space, but
then call me late night and tell me how much you miss me. Spend three
nights having wild passionate sex with me, and then use the term
friend to describe me.
2. Be unpredictable. I want to sit around and wonder why youre not
answering the phone. I want to wonder if youre going to return my call
in a few hours, or a few days. After I spend a week waiting for our Friday
night date I want you to call and say something came up can we do it
another night? Of course I dont want you do this all the time, because
then it would become predictable. Do it just enough that I never know
what Im in store for.
3. Flirt damn it. Too many girls, especially the hot ones, dont find it
necessary to flirt. Big mistake. In the beginning you need to create sexual
tension. You have to do this through a mix of playful banter and
gradually increasing the amount of time your hands spend touching parts
of my body. I dont want to talk about your job, your daddy issues, nor
am I impressed with how smart you are with your political views. I want
inside jokes, teasing, compliments, googly eyes, and at least one of your
hands in close proximity to my body. The point of a good date is the
continuing escalation of sexual tension.
4. Like my friends and get them to like you. Im shallow and need the
complete approval of my friends before I would seriously consider
making you my girlfriend. I want to know that I will easily be able to
commingle you and my buddies. And I want my buddies talking about
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Every so often I hit that point where the time comes I need to get my ass
back in shape. Im naturally lazy. But I am usually able to motivate
myself in small bursts... that allow me to keep decently fit. I slack during
the winter and then panic come spring when the scale starts tipping in
the wrong direction.
So Ive began one of those small bursts of motivation. Im reading the
bodybuilding forums, buying the supplements, and working out again.
Tonight at the gym Im all amped up after downing a super sized Red
Bull. That adrenaline rush usually puts me in a talkative mood, so with
confidence sky high I turn to the girl on the elliptical trainer next to me
and say that is a really nice color on you.
She was wearing this pale blue shirt that really brought out her eyes.
The second after I say it I immediately have that twang of self doubt
like what the fuck did I just say? That feeling of doubt is only amplified
when she looks at me like I have three heads.
She says, It's just my gym outfit.
My mind is telling me it was a stupid inappropriate moronic way to start
a conversation. I want to crawl away.
Instead I take a deep breath and compose myself. You cant lose on the
opener. Plow on.
Never underestimate the power of a gym outfit, I tell her. See that
mirror, I point at the mirror in front of us. I read that it's a proven fact
that the better we perceive ourselves to look while were working out...
the more motivated we become and the harder we push ourselves.
Oh yea? she says. Still giving me nothing to work with.
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Im in the worst shape Ive been in a couple years, wearing an old beat up
t-shirt, and gym pants with paint stains on them. I look like I just rolled
out of bed.
For instance, Im looking really good tonight. Really really good! And
Im having a great workout! I over exaggerate my motions on the
machine.
This finally gets the girl laughing and smiling.
The interaction ends on a positive note. I dont go for a number or even
a name. Ill see her again. And the next time I do will be one step closer
to rapport. That's the way I look at gym game. If you go to the gym the
same time every day, youre going to see the same girls. The best
approach is to mingle with a bunch of them, and casually build attraction.
The point of this post is that many times youll initiate a conversation
and get dead air. It's easy to get nervous and go into deer in headlights
mode instead compose yourself, take a deep breath and plow on.
Even naturals struggle with initiating conversations. But theyre
confident enough to keep going knowing that girls forgets your opener
a minute after you say it. It is everything afterward that counts.
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Tonight Im heading to hang out with a few college guys that I know.
These guys usually tend to be surrounded by hot college tail so it got
me thinking about gaming these younger girls.
When I was in college I was a machine... plowing through women (until I
met the ex) but after college my skills trailed off in the same
environment.
I would head to a college bar or college party and get no response from
the girls I was trying to talk to. My game on girls out of college was
solid but back in the old stomping ground I came across very AFC.
I realized it was the way I was hitting on these girls that was fucking it up
for me. I was talking to them in a way that was taking them out of the
moment. My topics of conversation usually involved questions like;
How do you like living in the dorms? and then I would go on and tell
them a story about my dorm life experience. Or I would try too hard to
fit in with the younger college guys to try to conceal my age. None of this
worked.
I realized a little later that what I was doing wrong was trying to approach
these girls in a rational way to spark interest. What I failed to realize is
how self obsessed younger girls tend to be. In the tight nit college
environment girls tend to be attention whores.
In Mark Redmans excellent e-book Conquer Your Campus he talks
about how college girls crave the college experience. You need to keep
them in the moment if you want to score with them.
The best way to keep them in the moment is to talk about them. Not ask
them questions that make them dig for answers that take them into their
head but instead to make declarative statements about them
For instance, a line Ive been using successfully when hanging around
college girls is to turn to one of them and say Youre trouble Theres
always one of you in the group and then smile.
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Neil Strauss brought the term caveman into popularity in his book The
Game. Strauss defines caveman as:
To directly and aggressively escalate psychical contact, and
progress toward sex, with a consenting woman; predicated on the
idea that early human beings did not use intelligence and words
but instinct and strength to mate.
I can safely say that putting this idea into action took my game to the
next level. I used to be very guilty of talking myself past a hookup. I
would rope the girl in with witty banter and create the attraction, but
then lose her by talking myself past the moment. It was like a disease for
me. Girl after girl in college I lost because of diarrhea of the mouth.
Then one day things got completely easier. Like life changing easier. And
that was when I began going caveman on women. The first time I did it
was on a blind date. A friend and his girl set me up with one of her
friends. At the end of the night I kissed her mid sentence. She started to
finish her sentence. I put my finger to her lips to shut her up and then
kissed her again. She was blown away.
I dont know what provoked me to do that. In the past I was one of
those guys who always waited for the right moment. That night I created
it. And since then Ive done it that way.
Why going caveman works
People, especially girls, have make up my mind for me syndrome. This
means they look for others to lead the way and let them know what they
are doing is alright. When you go caveman on a girl your bringing her
into your level of animal like attraction. Youre letting her feel
comfortable expressing her sexual side. When you eliminate words and
rational behavior, in turn youre saying it's okay to act a little irrational.
We are all horny fucking creatures. We all have that side of us that wants
to get buck naked and lick each others privates most of us are just
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trained not to act that way. When we meet someone that allows us to act
that way it is really liberating.
What would a caveman do?
When things are going well and youre in a private place with a girl
things can go one of two ways. At this point she is already attracted to
you so you can either further emotionally or intellectually stimulate her
or you can sexually stimulate her. If youre looking to further escalate the
encounter you need to ask yourself what would a caveman do?
Would he smell her hair?
Would he bite her neck?
Run his hands down her spine?
Once you go caveman you cant go back
When you go into caveman mode it has to be for real. You cant test it
and then back peddle. Going caveman means you stop talking and get
physical. (This does not mean take advantage of her or intrude if she says
stop) It means get her on your level. Unleash her hidden cavewomen.
When I kissed that girl mid sentence she says what was that slightly
snotty. She was testing me. If I had apologized or went back to talking
things would have been weird instead I put my finger to her mouth
shut her up and then kissed her again After that she spent the night.
Another night I went out with a group of friends. There was a girl Nancy
that was with us who I had been flirting with on and off for a month.
This was our first night hanging out though. Later that night, her and her
friends came back to my house for the after party. Instead of going into
conversation about some stupid topic I started teasing her by gently
pushing her away from me on the couch. She would push me back. Next
thing I know were wrestling on my living room floor. She pins me down,
and then I pin her down and kiss her. No words were said.
That is cave manning!!!
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how miserable he looked, how many other people noticed the same
thing?
When a girl youve been hitting on leaves, whether it be to take a piss, say
hi to a friend, or fuck another dude in the bathroom you best play it
extremely cool. Go back to talking with your friends, flirting with other
girls standing next to you, and just genuinely having a good time. Because
you can be sure that the girl will peak over at you and you want to give
her a reason to come back. You also want to keep her curiosity hooked
on whether or not she has you. By acting like a sad little puppy when she
leaves youre killing your chance shell be back.
On the same note, if youre talking to a hottie, and she leaves, dont make
it obvious to everyone in the bar how happy you are to be talking to
her Ive seen guys giving each other hi fives like a bunch of middle
schoolers after scoring a number.
Youre safest bet is to engage yourself in conversation with the friends
you came with, or other people around you. Forget about her until she
comes back and if she doesnt come back, at least now youll be in a
position to tackle other girls. AFC last night blew his whole night after
losing one Hot.
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I hope that these tips will help you from prematurely ejaculating.
Remember, you only get one chance to make a first impression.
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Some people will tell you that the secret to getting better in bed is
practice. Practice will get your sexual confidence up but it wont
necessarily get you better in bed. Other people say that improving your
stamina, lasting longer, or adding more foreplay will make you a better
lover. All of those things definitely wont hurt you But they still wont
necessarily make you better in bed.
Ive found there is only one secret for becoming a better lover. The
secret is to simply pay better attention to what is working and what isnt
on a particular woman. The woman that youre sleeping with will give
you all the clues you need you just have to be ready to read them, and
be willing to make the adjustments.
The key line to this statement is that you have to pay attention to what
works on each and every particular woman youre with. The reason this is
so important is because every woman enjoys being pleased differently.
Sure, the basics dont change but some girls like it hard and fast, others
slow and soft some girls like massive foreplay Others like their
clothes ripped right off. Some girls only cum on top other girls get off
doggie.
The best lover is attentive and knows how to read the clues shes giving
you. Sometimes shell verbally tell you what she likes but most of the
time youll have to watch how her body reacts.
Recently I was quite frustrated with a girl I was dating because I couldnt
get her off with oral sex. Ive never had that problem before. The first
few times with this girl it was driving me crazy. I searched my repertoire
for all the things that worked on the previous girls and she wasnt
responding to any of them. Finally about a month in, I noticed that every
time my nose would press against her clit while going down on her, she
would tense up tremendously and push her pelvis out to make the
pressure of my nose greater. The minute I realized what she was reacting
to I went right along with it. Needless to say she went from being
indifferent to oral to begging me for it.
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Ive had many girls tell me that Im the most amazing kisser theyve ever
experienced. This is not because I have some special technique its
because I adjust to their particular style of kissing. Everyone kisses
differently. Sure, you can try to change her style to match yours. But if
you want that first kiss to be memorable youll quickly note the actions of
her lips and tongue, and mimic them.
This goes for all areas of foreplay and sex. If you notice that a girl gets
super wet and turned on when you whisper dirty commands in her
ears keep on doing it (but dont overdo it and let it loose its affect.)
The fact is; most girls want to tell you what is working and what isnt. But
they wont tell you out of fear of hurting your feelings, fear of
embarrassment, or fear of killing the mood. What you have to realize is
that just because theyre not going to open up their mouth and say
Bobby I really like when you stick a pinky in my ass, while groping my
right tit, and spreading my legs over my head doesnt mean they
wont be trying to telling you in every other conceivable way.
The most common things to look out for are the intensity of the grunts
and moans she is making. When she particularly fancies something you
can be sure shell let out an extra special moan in hopes you catch on.
You should also watch out for her body language. When she is enjoying
something shell usually tense up, push herself toward you, or pull you
closer. Shell do everything possible to prevent you from suddenly
stopping or changing positions.
You also want to be paying attention to the psychological factors
influencing how turned on she is getting. Some girls are wildly turned on
by the idea of being caught. When I sense a girl has this fetish Ill make
sure I leave a door open, blinds up, or I begin the foreplay in any room
but the bedroom.
The key is to be extremely observant and act upon the giving stimulus.
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This is a post Ive been meaning to write for awhile, and I have to thank
my blogger friend Evil Woobie for pushing me to finally write it.
Have you ever found yourself with a girl, things are escalating towards
intimacy and absolutely nothing is going on down there? Or you
manage to finally get an erection only to quickly lose it as you attempt
to slide the condom on?
If you havent already experienced these situations chances are you will
at some point in your life. I sure have.
I didnt lose my virginity until my freshman year at college. Because of
this I felt apprehensive about hooking up with girls as I imagined them
all to be much more experienced than me. I still remember the first night
I brought a girl back to my dorm room. There was this exhilarating sense
of accomplishment, and at the same time, this paralyzing fear of
inadequacy.
I was surprisingly competent at making out, and unhooked her bra with
the skill of a pro but something was noticeably wrong. I didnt realize
exactly how wrong until she reached her hand down my pants. I was
completely limp. She fumbled around for a minute before I
embarrassingly brought her hand back up to my chest and continued
kissing her like nothing happened.
That night was the beginning of my journey on a long and bumpy road to
sexual competency.
I knew that physically there was nothing wrong with me I mean, I was
jerking off twice a day hard as a rock. But the minute I had a girl
willing to come back to my place I would lose all feeling down there.
I wound up in a relationship with a girl from my math class. She was a
virgin too. We took it slow in the bedroom and soon I was functioning
full strength during make out sessions. We were having marathon
foreplay sessions where I would expand so big I felt I could burst
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But then the night came when she decided she was ready to give me her
virginity. We went out to dinner, and then a movie. The entire time my
mind was racing with anxiety over how well I would perform at
something Ive waited 18 years to attempt. When we finally got to my
place I was a nervous wreck. I managed to fondle myself in the bathroom
enough to get it up but when she handed me a condom to place on my
boss I fizzled away.
My next few attempts ended the same way. It wasnt until one morning
when she climbed on top of me slid me inside her and starting
bouncing up and down that I finally was able to maintain an erection.
Of course, I never got around to putting a condom on.
For the rest of our relationship I never wore a condom because I saw it
as Kryptonite to my erection. My girlfriend went on the pill so all was
well.
After we broke up I entered the hell of erectile dysfunction all over again.
By this time I was tearing it up with the girls on my campus. But I was
very rarely closing the deal with them. Mainly because I feared going for
the homerun only to fail.
What I learned about my experience with limp dick
1. It most often happened in experiences where there was a built up
pressure involved. The more time I had to prepare for the sexual
encounter the more anxiety I felt. And the more anxiety I felt the
less chance I would get or maintain an erection.
2. I found it almost impossible to put on a condom without losing or at
least greatly diminishing my erection.
3. The less comfortable I was with the girl the less chance of success in
the bedroom. This meant that if I could make it past the first few
mishaps with a girl it would be smooth sailing from there on out.
4. Alcohol in small doses helped the problem. Alcohol in large doses
made me lose all sensitivity down there.
5. The girls I had the best sex with were the ones I felt no pressure to
perform well i.e.) fat girls, girls I didnt want to sleep, girls I wasnt
supposed to sleep with.
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If the problem still arises dont put too much emphasis on it. Look at it
like a stumbling block, and get back on the horse.
Do any of you have any tips for guys who might be facing this
problem?
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Theres a common saying in street fighting that 95% of all real fights
wind up in a clinch and go to the ground. Could that really be true?
Frankly, I dont know. But I will say this: 95% of the time, a woman will
test you by the second date, or sooner, to see:
1. If youll take her bullshit.
2. How hungry you are for her attention (remember: those who look
hungry, never get fed)
3. Just how much control she can exert over you and/or the relationship.
In this issue, Id like to talk about how you can pass those tests, and how
to do some testing of your own. Believe me, this is important. If youve
ever been dumped for being too nice, or have been told, time and
again, lets just be friends, its because you havent learned to recognize
when youre being tested or just havent yet learned how to respond
properly. You thought you would get points for being co-operative a
helpful, and instead you just got the fuzzy end of the lollipop.
Why She Tests You: The Search for Strength and Certainty
Look: one of the primary things that women are looking for from a man
is security; the feeling that someone is stronger than they are. When you
put a woman in her place, when you set rules and boundaries for her to
follow, it lets her know she can relax around you and feel comfortable
and secure. This search for strength is the single most important reason
why she tests you. The other factor is ambivalence, or what I call the
make up my mind for me syndrome.
You see, the sad reality is that often a woman just isnt that interested in
you one way or another. Maybe you arent exactly the physical type she
goes for, maybe she just got burned in a bad relationship, or theres some
unseen competitor who shes waiting to hear from. Whatever her
reasons, you can tell this is happening when you hear something like
Uhwell, Id like to go out with you Friday, but why dont you call me
late Friday afternoon and Ill let you know for sure?
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Finally, there is the fact that sometimes, modern women just get
overwhelmed with eighty billion things they are trying to do at once.
And, when overwhelmed, they flake on commitments that occur during
the peak of the overwhelm.
How to Handle ItDealing from a Position of Strength
To get back to street fighting analogies, theres a concept from Jeet Kun
Do, the fighting style of the late, great Bruce Lee that basically says that
any weapon thrust your way, as part of an attack is just a convenient
target to be destroyed. Coming from this perspective, an attack, rather
than something to be feared, is just an unprecedented opportunity to
KICK THE OTHER GUYS ASS!!!!
Just so, a womans bullshit and tests are great opportunities to establish
respect and dramatically increase her interest in you. In other words, your
response to these tests, instead of being, Oh no why is she doing
this? What did I do wrong? from now on will be. AH, HAH! A
RESPECT OPPORTUNITY!!!
Look: your attitude has to be that every rude piece of behavior, every silly
test of hers is just an unprecedented opportunity for you to establish
respect, increase her interest, and intensify her desire to please you.
Taken from this perspective, youll be mentally prepared, and may even
find yourself actually looking forward to her trying to pull shit, since you
know its your chance to get her really hot for you!!!! Now, before we go
on to some specific scenarios, let me add one other thing: when you do
put her in her place.
ITS GOT TO COME FROM THE RIGHT PLACE IN YOU!!!
In other words, the macho idiot who loses control and trashes the place
when his girlfriend comes home ten minutes late is definitely not the
example to follow. All hes doing is showing he cant control himself and
he just earns the womans contempt. Notice Im not saying you cant or
shouldnt get a little pissed. Just dont go nuts with a stream of
obscenities. (Streams of obscenities are for afterwards, when you are in
bed
with her.)
The other thing that doesnt work is acting like a hurt little boy. Whining
stuff like, How could you do this to me? or, But you promised!
wont cut it, good buddy. No. You have to come from the calm, but firm
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for me, but maybe what you wont realize until after you hang up is, that
itll be a loss for you as well. Ok? Bye.
Scenario Two: She calls and cancels at the last minute without offering to
do it again at some specific time. (Ive heard every excuse in the book,
my friend, from My parakeet is sick to Ive got to shampoo the rug.
Seriously)
Her: I cant make it. Ive got a rare tropical disease thats causing me to
shrink by the hour.
You: (dead silence for as long as it takes for her to talk again. Just say
NOTHING!!!)
Her: Hello? Are you there? Whats wrong?
You: Whats wrong is I cant believe the bullshit Im hearing.
Her: What?????
You: Lookyou made a commitment to spend time with me and now
youre blowing me off. Youre disrespecting me and disrespecting my
time and Im NOT going to put up with it. My rule is, if someone makes
a commitment to me, I expect them to keep it. If they cant keep it, I
need to know at least a day in advance so I can make other plans. Got it?
If you can live with that rule, greatif not, sayonara!
Then, HANG UP!! Now, this may sound extreme, but man does it work
well!!! In fact, shell probably call back with five minutes and apologize
and ask you out!!! Im not kidding here; Ive seen the hardest, jaded
bitches go to giggly little girls, eager to please me when Ive done this. It
throws some kind of switch in their heads. I guess with some people, you
dont really get their attention until
You Give Them A Swift Kick In The Ass!!
Please note Im speaking of an attitude. I am NOT talking about or in
any way suggesting or condoning physical violence with a woman. In
fact, I am against the use or threat of the use of violence or force against
ANY human being, unless there is an imminent threat of violence against
yourself or a loved one. I cant make this too clear. Im talking about
using your mind, NOT your fists.
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Scenario Three: You go to pick her up at her place and she either keeps
you waiting outside for more than ten minutes, or lets you in and then
proceeds to talk on the phone for at least that long while totally ignoring
you. Wait for her to finish, and as soon as she does say something like
this:
YOU: Can I ask you a question?
HER: Sure.
YOU: Are you being intentionally rude to test me, or are you just
accidentally acting clueless?
HER: (mouth dropping open in shock, unable to say anything!)
YOU: Dont ever keep me waiting like this again, ok? Ill always treat you
respectfully, but I expect the same. Do you understand me?
HER: Uhuhyes.
The point is this: when women throw this stuff your way, you want to do
the unexpected. Dont put up with it, like a nice guy and dont lose
your temper like a jerk. Walk a middle ground of strength, self-control
AND self-respect, and these tests will become opportunities to power
her straight into your bed. And that certainly beats a poke in the eye,
doesnt it?
Til next time,
Piece and peace,
Ross
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Ok, I'm going to put a patented sleazy on this post. Even for Bobby
Rio this is sleazy. Im glad I didnt invent this, that honor would go to
one of my friends wholl remain nameless.
I know that Dave M teaches about creating recon profiles in his Insider
Internet Dating course. My friend's tactic goes one step further. A recon
profile is a fake female profile you create to attract men the point of
the profile is basically to see what your competition is writing to women
online. I and my nameless friend took this tactic a little further about a
year ago, and it's still paying off
What we did was create a couple fake female profiles on MySpace. Then
what we did was leave comments from them on our real profiles.
Comments like what a great time last night Your party rocked
I was so surprised how well endowed you are... no just kidding about
that last one. But you get the point. Anything that would add some value
to our profile page.
Dont think girls dont read your comments. They do. Just like you read
the comments of a girl youre interested in. This is a great way to create a
triangle, as they teach in the Art of Seduction.
I actually forgot about my fake comments until a girl I used to have a
thing for came back into my life. We got to talking and we were talking
about my Halloween party last year that she missed. I was pretty
bummed she missed it. So I left a comment from a fake chic telling me
how great of a time she had, what a great host I was, and a little joke
about a photo in my room. Anyway, the girl I was bummed missed the
party actually mentioned something like I know you had fun that night!
She said this because she read the comment and assumed I went home
with the girl Actually I went home with a girl that night. But it wasnt
my fake profile girl. But the point is; they pay attention and remember
shit like that. So if you want to create a good jealousy trap. Take
advantage of this tip. Just dont tell too many people what youre doing.
Youll look like a real ass if you get caught.
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Aim Lower
Written by Bobby Rio
Original Published: 08/15/2007
Just a quick thought How come all of the virgin, no ass getting, at
home Friday night masturbating guys always seem to have really high
standards? These guys who have absolutely no experience with women
are waiting for the perfect 10 to come along.
Cmon guys. Is it a front you're putting up? Is it easier to say youve got
really high standards than it is to admit you have no game and are afraid
of girls?
I say this because I have a few buddies who are perpetually alone. And
when I try to set them up with a not so hot chick they act like Im
crazy for suggesting it. Like theyre way too good for her. Fuck that!
Even Bobby Rio rolls with the fatties some time. Youve read the story!
Its all just practice for the big game. You dont go from T-ball to the big
leagues without some time in the minors. Plus its fun but dont tell
anyone.
Havent you notice the guys who fuck the hottest chicks also fuck the
ugliest as well. Im not saying you shouldnt strive to fuck hotties. Im just
saying that in the meantime get your feet wet with some piggy's. That
way when you do meet the perfect 10 youre experienced enough sexually
not to blow your load in three minutes. When you get the perfect 10 in
bed, you best give her the fuck of the century.
Anyway, just today's thought. Aim lower.
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It seems that the topic of openers is all the rage lately. (Or hasnt it
always been?) What are good openers? Will Mystery openers still work?
Are canned openers good?
Mike Stoute and I did a podcast about openers a few months ago, but I
feel that it's time to write on the subject again. And I want to hear some
comments and feedback to see what all of you think about the topic.
It seems that people love googling openers looking for the page of
perfect ones to use in bars/clubs/banks/hot dog stands/Wall Marts. I
think that is why Neil Strauss's book became so famous. Because it gave
a lot of people a handbook of what to say to a girl to start a conversation.
Essentially, that is all an opener is. A conversation starter. So in reality
anything that you say to a girl is an opener. So what makes a good
opener?
The reason that openers Mystery uses or Style or any of the other canned
ones that have become popular over the years, are so good is because
they are non threatening, topical (mainly topics girls might be interested
in) and they are sometimes comedic, always light meaning the topics
are never depressing, never political, never racial, never anything that can
be angrily argued about. Remember the topics at times are supposed to
cause arguments (who lies more floss before or after is kissing
cheating.) but the openers cause flirty type of arguments not real
heated win or lose type arguments.
So are canned openers good? If it takes using a canned opener to get you
to have the confidence to open your mouth in front of a girl then by all
means use them. What I did when I was first starting out years ago was I
bought the book The Art of Approaching and basically took the 50 or so
openers he gives you in there and studied them. I looked for the reasons
that they work. I read about how to deliver them. I memorized the punch
lines... the hooks, the routines but I never used them in the field. I
took everything I learned in the amazing book and constructed my own
canned openers. These were original openers that better matched my
unique personality. I used the outlines he gave and wrote openers that
actually interested me.
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LAID that night the other one (with the least game) got a number and
wound up fucking her three dates later. He still thanks me.
My point isnt to brag. It's to tell you that openers aren't some magic
mysterious lines that are hidden away for a select few. They are merely
conversation starters. Once you know how to construct a good opener.
It's easy. It's fun. It actually makes you look forward to going out. Things
are even truer when you get to the point that youre not using canned
ones. When you go out and the night really becomes an adventure, and
youre going with the flow, and it's working. Man, you cant ask for a
better feeling!!!!!
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Too many guys jump into this seduction/PUA stuff swinging for the
fences. That's great, but if youre a guy that's been sitting on the sidelines
for years youre going to need a little experience in the bedroom before
you start fucking around with 9 and 10s. Remember you only get one
chance to make a first impression.
Back in the day me and my friends would call it practicing for the big
game. Every time we fucked a girl that was ugly or fat we would blow it
off to practice. And it works. The more comfortable and confident you
get in your sexual abilities the more natural it will be for you to act sexual
around women.
So what's the best way to do this? If you're less than experienced in the
bedroom I recommend going out and getting yourself a fuck buddy. Im
talking about a plain Jane, maybe a chunker with a cute face, someone
with a little baggage your goal here is not to fall in love. Your goal is
get comfortable being sexual. This means getting comfortable touching
girls, talking sexual to girls, escalating.
As much as your ego must hate the idea of slumming; do it. And dont
feel bad about it. Your intention should be to give her as much sexual
pleasure as possible. Nothing more. You dont need to promise her
flowers and diamonds. If you're fucking a girl right, she wont ask for
those things. Use each other.
What's great about a fuck buddy is that because youre getting laid a
couple nights a week you wont be so needy and hungry when you're out
hunting. Women can smell neediness a mile away. They can look at you
and know if you get laid. And women want guys who get laid.
If you're wondering where to find these fuck buddies. They are all over.
They are at bars. They are on Match, or Adult Friendfinder. You
probably work with one of them.
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Recently, I was doing a telephone Life Coaching session for a 19-year old
young man named Dan. I am used to young men coming to me for
confidence boosting and for improving their internal and external
relationship with the opposite sex. This young man, though, had an
additional problem that he and many others often need help with:
discerning a girls interest or lack of interest.
He had recently had a bad blow to his intuitive confidence in this area
when he had thought that a beautiful and single girl that went to his
health club was interested him. He claimed that all the signals were
there. She had been smiling at him and eagerly said hello to him every
time he came into the gym; they had good conversations and she seemed
receptive to and appreciative of his frequent compliments. He was sure
she was into him and even admitted to me that he started envisioning
how jealous his friends would be when he landed this hot babe.
He was to find out, though, when he asked her out for coffee, that she
was not into him. She expressed to him that she saw him as a cool guy
and a friend. Ouch. We all have heard some variation of this in our lives
and we know it is not an easy thing to hear. Like many of us, this incident
left Dan confused and filled with self-doubt about his women-reading
skills.
I explained to him that this was a frequent mistake I see in men: They
dont know how to tell the difference between when a girl wants them or
their attention. They dont understand how to tell, put into my own little
rhyme sequence, if she is looking at him as the man or a fan.
Let's get these fact straight fellas: Women love attention- just in case you
have not noticed. They spend exorbitant amounts of money on makeup,
gym memberships, plastic surgery, clothes, etc. to beautify themselves.
Especially to hotter girls that are used to getting the attention, this
attention becomes like a drug. Many women measure themselves based
on how many men hit on them or give them second glances. With this
fact in mind, it is very important to keep in mind that when you think
that a girl is into you, especially a very hot one; she may be really into the
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attention that you are showering her with. This does not mean that she
does not think that you are attractive or that there is no chance of
changing her interest, but you must learn to tell the difference if you
dont want to waste your time and set yourself up for needless rejection.
So, by now you are probably wondering how you tell if you are the man
or just a fan.
Before I go into giving some very good and specific tips let me first issue
a disclaimer about anything cookie cutter when it comes to human
behavior. Psychology is not an exact science and a lot of the advice about
human behavior is true to the extent that it shows trends. This principle
will be interwoven in some of the pointers that I address.
Below are 2 general principles and tips for judging a girls interest or lack
of it. Pay careful attention as you read and do not read this hastily. There
are many more but these 2 seem reoccurring- not only my own
experience with women, but also from having women as Life Coaching
clients and friends.
1) Most of the time if a woman is truly attracted to you she is going to be
self-conscious around you. She is going to seem a little nervous and
cognizant of her behavior. Watch particularly if you think you look good
one day for her tugging at the bottom of her shirt by her stomach area:
This is usually a sign that she thinks you are attractive and wants to
measure up. If you are interested in the exact psychology behind this: in
short the stomach area is a part of a womans body that she is usually
very conscientious about. Watch also for her brushing her hair back
nervously.
There is an important principle to keep in mind when seeking to
understand women: Women actually like being nervous sometimes.
When we men go on a date we like to take pride in how calm, cool, and
collected we were and try to find ways not to feel and appear nervous.
Women, by contrast, often like to feel the butterflies in their stomach
and like to feel that they are being kept on their toes. It sounds crazy
but it is true.
If a woman seems not to care about the impression that she is making on
you then most likely you are just a fan. I dont just mean a physical
impression either. I remember a few years back I was not sure if this very
attractive girl that I worked with was into me. There was a group of us
who ate lunch together in the building cafeteria that talked politics
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regularly and with a lot of zeal and passion. She ate with us but never said
much during these conversations, but did smile at me and listened when I
spoke. One day we were alone in the cafeteria and a news story came on
television about the war in Iraq. On this particular day she had a lot to
say and I looked at her quite impressed. She confessed in a cute way that
she had asked her friend who knew a lot about the war to fill her in
because she wanted to appear smart in front of me. Right then I knew
that I was not just a fan and I got her number. You guys get the point
by now: If a girl is not trying to overtly impress you, not a group of you,
nor really look like she really cares what you think and is a little nervous,
most likely you are unfortunately just a fan.
2) Is she asking you questions about yourself? Bottom line guys: If a girl
is not asking you questions about yourself most likely she is not into you.
If a girl is interested in you, she will want to know more about you and
will find a way to ask you. If she wants to know if you have a girlfriend
you dont have to tell her- she probably will find a cute way of asking.
She will find ways to be closer to you and look for excuses to ask you
questions.
My friend Scott and I were in A&P a few weeks ago. We usually stop by
there after the gym and there was a hot chick working there behind the
courtesy desk that goes to our gym. Scott said that she had been smiling
at him a little in the gym but he was not sure if it was friendly or
personalized to him. They had exchanged pleasantries but the
conversations were always short because she was working out with
friends. He bought a 6-pack of soy yogurts and I told him to go ask her if
she could ring him up. I walked over with him and she saw his yogurts
and asked him if they were good- she had never tried them she said.
Then she asked him something that sealed the deal and left no room for
doubt. She noticed on his keychain that he had a key tag for PETCO.
She asked him if he had a dog and as he answered her questions, she
asked more questions. I walked away. Not surprisingly, he got her
number and was out with her that weekend.
To close, I want to tell a quick story. A few months ago I was on a
teleseminar conference call about addictions with one of Americas best
health experts, David Simon. A participant asked him about her habit of
drinking a large Starbucks coffee every day. I am not sure if it is an
addiction she stated. He cut her off and said If you are asking about
it, then it probably is an addiction. She laughed and knew that it was
true. Using the same principle, if you are wondering and find yourself
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asking if a girl is into you, then, like the caller, the answer is probably
what you do not want to hear: that she is not into you, and you are
unfortunately a fan and not the man.
Thank you
Justin
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It was a very tame Saturday night for me. Ive been hanging with this girl
for a couple weeks now and we decided to stay in last night, order
Chinese, down a bottle of Pinot, and watch the first season of Lost on
DVD. I have resisted watching Lost for years but at the insistence of my
brother and a couple friends I decided to give the show a shot. She had
never seen it either and was into the idea of starting the series from the
beginning.
Id love to tell a story about how 30 minutes into the first episode we
were having animal sex on my kitchen table or how her friend showed up
and we had a mind blowing three way but that just wasnt the case.
The truth is we watched eight straight episodes of Lost and passed out
on the couch halfway through the ninth.
I could write a whole post about the show... but being the show is in its
fourth season and Im at the beginning my post would be old news for
most of you, and Im sure you guys would wind up spoiling a lot of shit
for me.
The point of this post isnt to talk about Lost... but to talk about
leadership. The show begins with a plane crash. Everyone is in panic,
confusion mode. Shit is upside down. No one has a clue what to do.
Until the main character, Jack, wakes up from his black out and
immediately takes on the roll of the leader.
Jack selflessly tries to help everyone on the island, takes charge, and has
all of the survivors looking up to him within an hour of the plane crash.
Sure it's a television show. But there are people out there just like Jack.
And just like Jack these guys get lifes bounty.
Women, money, success but more importantly a sense of purpose.
People are fascinated with leaders. We are so fascinated with them
because very few of us have the intestinal fortitude to be one.
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Jack didnt become a leader because he was the best politician on the
island. He didnt get the girl because he sold her on his ideas through
long winded speeches and debates. He did it through purpose and action.
He obtained the respect of everyone on the island because while they
were standing around waiting to be saved he was saving other people.
In a world so obsessed with self help I think we often neglect the fact
that the best form of self help is the selfless act of helping others. I
cant speak for anyone but myself but there are times in my life that I feel
an overwhelming sense of being unfulfilled. And Ive had more than I
ever dreamed I would. Ive got more friends than I can count, slept with
more women than I care to admit, visited more countries than most
people could name, and generally lived on the edge and survived to tell
about it. I dont have any regrets. Yet, watching Lost last night I still felt
as if I were missing something important.
I had been following a blog, Rooshv.com where he detailed his six
month trip across the continent of South America. And for the longest
time that was my dream. I followed his journey religiously, wishing badly
it was me trekking on a bus through the Peruvian Andes, having three
week flings with Chilean beauties. Hes back now and I recently posed a
question to him in a comment, something along the lines of did you
find what you were looking for? Because Im starting to believe that
even the soul searching trip I felt destined to make. still wont be
enough.
I realize that part of the reason I wanted to take the trip was for some
form of escape. Some way to convince myself that I was free. To prove
to myself that I wasnt wasting my life away in the rat race, waiting for my
slice of the cheese. I was going to take it. I was going to finally live.
But Im not so sure escape is that easy. Im not sure freedom is as simple
as throwing on a backpack, growing a beard, and waking up in strange
places with strange people. Because when it comes down to it, my
motives for the trip are still entirely selfish. And when youre living
completely self centered, I think it is impossible to be free.
Many books talk about living on purpose. I recently wrote a list of 5
Must Have Self Help Books and that list included two books by Wayne
Dyer. Dyer has written many books about living on purpose. But even
with all the books that Ive read on the subject, it took watching seven
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particular time in their life when the deceased impacted their life for the
positive. One of the speakers quoted a line from "Its a Wonderful Life"
saying no man is a failure who has friends. It's funny how when youre
running on a few hours sleep, your heads a little messed up from too
many episodes of Lost, and you get swept away in the emotion of a wake,
how clearly something so elusive can suddenly appear.
Standing there in the funeral parlor I realized we all have the choice on a
daily basis to be great. We can be great friends, great role models, great
listeners, leaders, and heroes. We dont need our plane to crash in the
South Pacific (if that's really where they are) to give us our moments to
shine.
A few of the speakers had given heartfelt thank you to my friend who
had stepped in to pull the family together as it became more and more
certain that his girlfriends dad was going to lose his battle with cancer.
He took days off from work, he had long intense conversations with the
dying man, and acted as a sense of strength for his girlfriend and her
mother when the two of them would continually break down. Everyone
in that room viewed my friend as a hero.
Everyday each one of us is presented with situations where we can be a
leader and a hero. It's not about waiting for that moment where you can
look like a hero. It's about deciding to be great this very minute. It's
about deciding that every action you take from here on out will serve a
greater purpose.
It's been said over and over again that those who live on purpose and
relinquish their personal wants and desires, are those who ultimately see
the most of lifes bounty.
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There is more to life than how much money you can make or how
many girls you can sleep with.
These are the artificial indicators of achievement in our society. Most of
us are not above striving for them. I included.
But the real depth of your character and what ultimately makes you a
man, is living within a set of core values and beliefs that you set for
yourself.
We addressed integrity in our The Lost Art of Being a Man podcast,
and how it relates to the way you interact with women. The reason
women have no respect for nice guys is because these nice guys often
lack integrity. Their lack of integrity stems from the fact that they hold
beautiful women to different standards then they hold the rest of the
world. The set of values they define for themselves gets pushed aside for
the opportunity to be with a beautiful woman.
But integrity goes further than your dealings with the opposite sex. It is
equally important in how you live your life. I am by no means a perfect
person. We have all most likely been a role where weve acted in a way
that is not congruent with our core set of values but watching Roger
Clemens at the Congressional hearings yesterday reminded me of the
importance of living with integrity.
Roger Clemens was my favorite sports figure since 1986. I religiously
followed his career and collected his memorabilia. Even after I began to
lose interest in baseball I still made an attempt to keep track of his career.
It was to the point where my friends laughed because I changed favorite
teams every time he signed a new contract. Im the only guy in NJ who
walked around in an Astros hat. Part of my fascination with him was
based on childhood nostalgia; the other part of it was that I was
completely impressed with the stories of his unparalleled will and
determination. I was envious of the motivation he possessed that got him
out of bed at 4:30 am every morning to work his body to peak
performance.
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That being said Roger Clemens choice to have himself injected with
steroids is something I could forgive him for. Human beings make
mistakes. Period. I relate it similarly to mistakes Ive made where Ive
cheated on girls that I loved. Something at that point in time (mainly my
dick) made me feel it was necessary to sleep with a woman outside of my
relationship. It's not something Im proud of. But life is too short for
regrets so I move on. The same can be said for Roger Clemens use of
steroids. Something at that point of his life (mainly his fierce drive to be
the best) made him feel it was necessary to use performance enhancing
drugs. Shit happens. People fuck up.
But watching Clemens blatantly lying over and over again to save his
chances for the Hall and his endorsement deals, has left me with the
feeling that the man lacks a sense of integrity. While making a mistake is
human nature. Owning up to a mistake is what separates the men from
the boys.
I dont think any of us are above lying. If youve ever used someone
elses canned routine in the field youve lied. If youve ever told a girl
you were going for a friend's luncheon but really had sex with an
Argentine prostitute in back alley brothel. youve lied. There is a
certain shame in these types of lies. But most of us have defined our core
set of values to let these sorts of lies slip by. Once again, we are human
beings.
My definition of living with integrity means owning up to your mistakes.
Or doing everything in your power to correct them in the future. Ive lied
to girls and cheated on them. But when I eventually got caught I laid all
of my cards on the table. I told them EXACTLY how I felt and why I
did it. It wasnt always easy. It would have been easier to continue the lies
(as OJ showed us deny deny deny) but to me there is a difference
between situational lying and lying about something youve been accused
of.
If someone casually asks me how many girls Ive slept with, I may lie as
to not appear a slut in that particular situation. It is my personal business
and I may not feel the need to be completely open. And if someone
casually asked Roger Clemens if hes ever used steroids I would not
condemn him for lying in that situation. It is his personal business.
But if a girl claims to have slept with me, and I know full well that I did, I
will not deny it. Because when you deny something youve done against
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someone elses word youre, in fact, calling them a liar. This is where
Roger Clemens has crossed the line of simply making a human mistake
and gone on to show an utter lack of integrity.
The problem with Clemens choice of action is that the only person he is
looking out for is himself. He is calling numerous people liars, using his
wife as a scapegoat, questioning his best friends story, and wasting the
time of a whole lot of people who would just like to move on from this
shit. In the face of adversity that Clemens is facing you always have two
choices: You can lie and manipulate and play the self serving if I deny
long enough theyll forget about it card or you can own up to your
mistake. In essence; be a man and move forward.
In every situation in life you have these same two choices: You make
excuses, take the self serving route, blame everyone else or you own
up your mistakes and BECOME A MAN.
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Ive always said you can learn more from certain novels about human
nature than you can from some of the most celebrated self help books. F.
Scott Fitzgeralds famous novel The Great Gatsby serves to constantly
remind me about the art of letting go.
In the novel, the main character Jay Gatsby has one of the strongest
cases of oneitis Ive ever seen. He is full throttle into the sickness
over an ex lover Daisy Buchanan. The two fall in love and date for awhile
before circumstance prevents the two from continuing their love affair.
Daisy goes on to marry someone else, and Gatsby spends the next five
years building an empire to impress her with his new wealth. He also
throws party after party in his mansion in hopes of her showing up
without the realization that it was her old lover throwing the party.
The reason that I decided to write about this is because the other night I
realized that I still suffer from what I call The Great Gatsby Complex.
The Great Gatsby Complex is an inward hope of meeting someone from
your past that drives you to make decisions in your present life. It is the
guy who is struggling through law school so that he can show up at his
high school reunion and impress a girl he had a crush on ten years ago
it is the guy that is at the gym seven days a week building the perfect
body in hope that he runs into an old flame and shes blown away by his
chiseled abs.
We all have those girls from our past that still haunt us. They are usually
not ex girlfriends, but instead they are usually girls that we have
unfinished business with girls that slipped away or circumstance
prevented things from going further.
For me there are three that pop into my head:
Jackie- The whore. Jackie was a girl I worked with a few years back. We
clicked on many different levels and we both were insanely attracted to
each other but Jackie was on the promiscuous side. She fucked just
about every guy I knew. And discussed the details with me. That was part
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Once you develop a sense of faith that youve yet to meet your ideal
girl the chains from your past are released and you begin to grow
excited for what you may find in your future.
If you are being held back by ghosts from your pasts I suggest following
the four step plan to rid yourself of the complex.
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focused on the other parts of their lives that they dont have a lot of time
to worry about how they are doing with women. Women pick up on
their vibe of independence and self-fulfillment and this is very attractiveboth emotionally and sexually- for women. A woman I was talking with
recently told me that it is very sexy for a guy to be very into his job, his
friends, his family, sports, etc. because she said that it expresses a sense
of confidence and fulfillment that he is strong and that he could be
strong for her. Remember that a personality trait that women often get
frustrated with about themselves is the fact that their self-esteem is too
much based on what the opposite sex thinks; the last thing that they want
is to be with a man that has the same issue. The men who have mastered
this principle have inadvertently taught themselves and us a valuable
lesson about the connection between their own lives and their success
with women: Build it and they will come. So how can you apply this
philosophy to your life and build your own life up to make room for
them to come? Here are some starting points although by now I am
sure you get the idea.
1) Find a cause, purpose, or career that you are passionate about.
If you can identify your core passions and pursue them you will find
yourself much more fulfilled in a holistic and overall way. Hopefully, this
is your career but if not find something that interests you, besides women
of course, and become passionate about it. Become charismatic and
excited about it. Men find themselves best when they are happy with
their work. Being this way will put your much more in touch with your
own masculine energy and will make you very appealing.
2) Lift weights.
I am not just saying this for the reason you might be thinking: that
women like muscles. When you lift weights you are going to be getting in
touch with and expressing your masculinity even outside of the gym.
While you release endorphins and build your emotional and physical
muscles, you will attract attention with your very masculine vibe.
3) Practice meditation or some form of relaxation
You may have never considered meditation or consider it something for
New Age weirdoes. You may even consider it something for women.
Learning to meditate, though, will build your self-confidence because you
will slowly get in touch with the negative thoughts that are holding back
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your success with women and other areas of your life. As you become
more content and build your self confidence at a deep level, they will
come in droves because you too will not care. Find a local meditation
class or buy a book or CD on meditation. I usually recommend to clients
anything by Steven Halpern or Deepak Chopra.
Do not get into the trap of doing these things solely to attract women.
See the value in them because you will feel better and therefore will not
need women to make you feel good about yourself. Then watch how as
you build your life, they will come.
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It was actually Ross Jeffries who originally coined the phrase Leave
them better then you found them. He was talking about the women that
come in and out of your life. As you get better with women, this phrase
will hold as much importance as anything youve been taught before.
I got involved in my first serious relationship my freshman year of
college. Like most young couples, naive to the reality of relationships, my
girlfriend Jillian and I rushed in full throttle, spending every waking hour
together, and had the names of our future babies already picked out. The
thrill of this relationship lasted about 6 months. By our ninth month
together I desperately wanted to be single again.
I was a naive boy at the time, and thought that by ending the relationship
with this girl I would break her heart into a million pieces - forever
ruining her for other men. The more I hinted that I was looking to end
the relationship the more she clung closer to me. I had no idea how to
break free from her.
So for the next six months I stayed in a relationship I was miserable in.
As time went by I became more and more resentful of Jillian. Soon the
resentment grew to anger. I became a completely different person. I was
bitter towards her. I criticized everything she did. I made her feel small
by talking about her insecurities. I barely paid attention when she spoke
to me. I denied most of her attempts at sexual activity. Little by little I
was ruining her.
I think my plan was to treat her so badly she would end it with me. And
finally she did. But the whole ordeal took a giant toll on the both of us.
She was a mess. I heard from friends that she actually had to go for
counseling. I wasnt much better. I hated the person that I became. I was
no longer the charming man that won her over; I was now this bitter,
mean, non-sexual, asshole.
After this I avoided relationships altogether for awhile.
But later in life when I became better with women, and was dating more
and more women, I found myself falling back into this trap.
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I had been dating this girl Kate for like four months, and knew it wasnt
going to go anywhere. But I was too lazy to end it, as our relationship
was very low maintenance. It was apparent to me that Kate thought
things were more serious than they were. Soon I became the same person
I was years earlier with Jillian. I was deliberately saying things that I knew
would make Kate feel insecure. I would openly stare at other girls. I
wouldnt call Kate for days at a time. I avoided sex with her.
I hated the person I was once again becoming. Luckily for me, Kate
figured things out on her own and suddenly stopped calling me. She was
probably waiting for me to make the apology call, but I never did.
The repercussions of the way you treat a woman echoes throughout your
life. The way I felt as a person during those times with Jillian and Kate
was less than human. I felt like a soulless monster. My integrity was all
but drained, and my self esteem was shot. I no longer viewed myself as
the kind of guy who attracts women. I viewed myself as the kind of guy
women should stay away from.
Since Kate I have changed my ways. I have realized that it is much less
cruel to end a relationship than it is to stay involved with a girl you dont
have feelings for. A few months after Kate I started dating a girl Nancy.
Nancy was a fun girl who I enjoyed fucking. A couple months into the
relationship I sensed Nancy was looking for more. We sat down and had
the talk. I explained that I didnt want anything more than what we had.
She was a bit upset, but was appreciative that I was honest with her.
Nancy and I are still friends to this day, and have even fucked from time
to time.
I felt good about the way things ended with Nancy, and it carried over
into the rest of my life. I didnt have that dark cloud surrounding me that
I had a few months earlier with Kate. The lesson I learned was that I was
much better off being honest with a girl about how I felt, than I was to
string a girl along. You cant avoid the pain of a breakup but by
delaying it you can make it much worse.
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Mike, Justin, and I coined the phrase the sickness back in college.
The sickness is like oneitis on steroids. Mack Tight referred to it as
when guys become a needy pile of shit after they become obsessed over
a woman.
We call it the sickness because once it infects youre almost powerless
against its control. It corrupts your mind first, but then usually brings
about physical symptoms like nausea, vomiting, weight loss, depression,
insomnia. It happens to the best of us and even though we most likely
know weve been infected, it is still near impossible to battle. Even as our
closest friends tell us to move on play it cool forget about her
their words go in one ear and out the other.
While the only cure for the sickness is time I thought that if I wrote
a detailed description of how the sickness infects (using my last battle
with it as an example) you guys might be able to keep this as a guide to
compare against when you feel it coming on. Although I wont pretend
that youll be able to rid yourself of your obsession, at the very least, you
may be able to avoid some of the classic mistakes that I made.
The Anatomy of the Sickness
After slowly falling for one of my female friends over the course of a
year, everything came to a boil on a ski trip. I knew in my head that it was
now or never time for making my move. Weeks before the ski trip I
began avoiding her before heading up to the mountain. I wanted to
create a fresh persona, and distance myself from the friend zone that I
had previously been regulated to.
The first night of the ski trip I made a dramatic change in the way I
interacted with her. I became more sexual, alluded to her attractiveness,
and got more touchy feely. Although initially she seemed a little taken
back, slowly she responded to my escalation. By the end of the night we
were lying on my bed making out. The next day she told me it was a
mistake and that she liked me too much as a friend to continue. But I
persisted again that night, and once again she wound up on my bed with
me making out. We spent the rest of the trip basically locked in my
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The mess that Bobby Rio had become was finally starting to put the
pieces of his life back together. He was dating a new girl finally starting
to get over the sickness.
But I couldnt leave well enough alone. I knew that there would be an
annual Christmas party at the place she worked. I had friends that still
worked there. So once again, I go out get completely shit faced and show
up at her work party with one of my friends.
The night started out pleasant enough I spent time catching up with a
handful of old friends chatting with her whenever the occasion would
allow. But as I got drunker the cool guy shell I had been putting on was
slowly cracking. I began asking her questions alluding to the weekend
we spent together. It was clear she didnt want to talk about it.
Then I began noticing that she and one of her co-workers were awfully
close. I didnt feel threatened because I knew the guy, and never would
imagine her to be into him but as I got drunker it made more and
more sense. Everything was becoming crystal clear (In my drunken
distorted mind) SHE WAS FUCKING THIS GUY.
So I did the only thing a drunken sick bastard could do I followed him
into the bathroom and punched him square in his jaw. The next thing I
know were ushered out to the parking lot Were rolling on the
pavement pounding on each others skulls sticking fingers in our eyes...
I think I may have even bit him.
Finally the rest of the party breaks up the fight they put me in a cab
and send my sad sick drunk ass home.
Bobby Rio woke up the next morning at Rock Bottom.
Im going to leave this story without commentary. It is simply meant to
show how the sickness can take hold of anyone. At that point in my life I
already knew everything there was too know. I was banging chicks left
and right... always the one with the control and calling the shots
And I fell like a toy soldier.
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The first time I heard that phrase it was from an Anthony Robbins CD.
At the time, although I found it motivating, I didnt truly grasp the
concept of living with passion.
At first I tried to artificially create a sense of passion in my life. I used
body language, physiology, and voice tonality to present a passionate
looking man to the world. And as Sebastian Drake talked about in our
recent interview with him, improving these things will create a sense of
passive value for you and eventually you might even begin to feel a
bit more passionate in your day to day activities.
While improving areas of your non verbal communication may make you
look and feel like a more passionate person, and is an excellent place to
start ultimately you still wont be living with passion.
You may be asking; what does living with passion have to do with
improving my skills at attracting women?
My answer is; everything.
The greatest pickup artists in the world usually have a passion in their life
greater than seducing women.
For Mystery it is his love of magic and showmanship, for Neil Strauss it's
his love of journalism, for Cajun and Mehow its theatre, for Tyler
Durden its adventure, for Christian Hudson its entrepreneurship, for
Extramask its comedy
What living with a higher passion does for each of these PUAs is it gives
them a reason to exist other than picking up women. It gives them
something to get excited about every morning. It gives them something
fascinating to talk to about. It gives them something to strive for,
something that gives meaning to their existence.
Six years ago I headed down to Buenos Aires, Argentina for a couple
weeks to visit a friend. That trip ignited a passion in me that burns
strongly to this day. Bobby Rios passion in life is traveling the world.
My desire to see the world is stronger than my desire for any girl or to
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make any amount of money. In fact, it defines a lot of my criteria for jobs
and relationships. I will never work a job that does not give me the
flexibility to travel often (2 weeks vacation a year wont cut it) nor will I
date a girl who wont just get up and go on a wild adventure with me.
How this relates to pickup and seduction
Since no one can ever take my love of travel away from me I never
attach excess meaning to winning or losing with a particular girl. My
happiness is never defined by how many notches Ive added to my belt. I
live with a willingness to walk away from any girl
And like Life Coach Justin says in his Build it and they will Come article,
this will help you have a strong basis for your self-esteem outside of
your success with women, and that, ironically, this will attract women.
Discovering and cultivating your passion is an area that we are going to
discuss in much more detail during our Mansformation Weekend Retreat.
I think that the first step in cultivating your passion is to ask yourself, If
money wasnt an issue, what would I be doing with my life?
Really taking time to think about this question will begin to give you a
deeper understanding into what internally drives you.
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We all care way too much what a complete stranger that knows nothing
about us thinks. Fear of rejection is the underlying emotion in most
approaches.
The thought of a beautiful woman sitting there and calling you a loser in
front of the entire club makes most guys stomachs turn in knots. Sort or
ironically, being rejected will bring the most success with women into
your life. Let me explain
Internally most guys think that they are complete lonely losers that no
one could love. They greatly fear that women will find this out and have
no desire for them. They learn all these cool lines and tricks but that fear
of being thought of as a loser by women and confirming their already
held beliefs is still strong. It carries so much weight that it cripples them
from being comfortable in interactions or EVEN APPROACHING
WOMEN.
They try their hardest to avoid getting rejected in order to avoid facing
their own belief system. They try their very best to do everything right
"and LOOK COOL but by the very act of trying they are doing
everything wrong. From this they place way too much importance on
getting a good re-action from the girl and becoming very outcome
dependent and needy. If the interaction goes well they get a false sense of
self esteem from the girl and feel good. If it goes badly then that fear of
actually being a loser is triggered and they feel terrible.
When you are outcome dependent you become very attached to what the
girl thinks of you. This just breeds of insecurity and neediness which if
you hadnt guessed is a HUGE TURN OFF for women. Women are
attracted to men who could take or leave any woman. Not caring
whether the woman comes, stays, lays or prays seems very counter
intuitive but it's what will get you the best results and lead to a happier
and more peaceful life.
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always on the lookout for new opportunities that will inspire them to be
an even better person.
The main reason that most of us stay in our comfort zone is fear. Sure,
we will claim to really like hooking up with chubby girls. Or really love
that townie bar around the corner from our house.... but what we are
really saying is We are not willing to take the risk to find out if
something better exists.
But the fact remains: Something better does exist. But we wont ever
attain it if we arent willing to sacrifice comfort for a little while.
Here is my advice: Take Action
Make a list of people, places, and actions that are a part of your comfort
zone. Do you go to the same hair stylist because you love their haircut, or
are you afraid to try someone else? Do you find yourself heading to the
same bar? Buying the same polo t-shirts? Hitting on the same scale of
girls? Going for the same type of job? Make a list of everything that falls
within your comfort zone.
Once youve created a list of things that make up your comfort zone;
make another list. This is your Action List. On this list write down one
step you can take towards breaking out of your comfort zone. Write the
name of a bar youve always wanted to check out. Write the image
change youve been dying to make. Write down the job youve always
wanted to apply for.
Now look at that list. And do everything on it. You want unstoppable
inner game? Then do it. Do it.
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You want to see immediate results? You want to start getting more
phone numbers, more looks, more compliments? Then implement these
simple ten steps now and youll have more dates than you can handle.
Tip #1- Improve your Posture
Most people dont realize the importance of posture. But it says more
about you than anything that comes out of your mouth. Bad posture can
make you look bored, depressed, or just plain homely.
Improving your posture starts with becoming aware of it. Just being
aware of excessive slouching will force you to take action right then.
Toning your muscles through exercise will also help enhance posture.
Place your head squarely on top of your neck, make sure your shoulders
are upright and your back is arched forward. This will make you appear
taller and more confident. Be sure to leave your arms relaxed and loose.
A great way to improve posture is to remain active throughout the day.
This will prevent your body from being molded the wrong way.
Tip #2- Smile
A smile can literally light up a room. A man or woman who walks around
flashing a smile will always be perceived to be more attractive. With a
healthy smile, we are able to transmit the emotions within our hearts. It is
very true that our smile reflects our mood, personality and even our inner
health. Smiling makes you seem warmer, more inviting, confident,
happy but the best part is that a great smile can make someone else
feel all of these same emotions and attach them to you.
The best way to improve your smile is by practicing in front of a mirror.
Make sure that what you're intending as a smile isnt coming off as a
smirk. Also pay attention to your teeth. Nice teeth are a cornerstone of a
good smile. If youre teeth are yellow consider getting them whitened. It
is also important to stay on top of dentist visits.
Tip #3- Tanning
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Dont misunderstand this tip as a call for you to turn yourself into an
orange oompa loompa. Orange skin is not attractive. But some healthy
looking color can benefit anyone, especially in the winter time when our
complexions tend to get pale.
I would generally recommend tanning a few times a month. I usually go
just enough to have color, but not so much that people can recognize
that Ive been tanning. Tan skin makes you look thinner, healthier, and
tends to make your clothes look better against your skin. It also helps
hide imperfections in your complexion.
Tip #4- Be Flirtatious
Someone who knows how to flirt effectively will always attract more of
the opposite sex than someone who solely relies on their looks. Flirting is
an art form that if you can master you will be a few steps ahead of the
competition. Flirting is essential in creating sexual tension.
They key to flirting is achieving a sense of relaxed playfulness. Teasing is
a great way to flirt. As is competitive flirting which takes the form of
slight sarcasm and dry wit. Cooperative flirting is different. Rather than
jabbing her, you pull her into your reality and create an us against the
world dynamic. Flirting is a mix of pushing away with words and pulling
in with actions.
In the game of flirting think back to how you acted towards that
classmate you had a crush on in the fourth grade and act the same
exact way.
Tip #5- Get an Expensive Haircut
The haircut needs to be great. It is very easy to go the cheap route when
it comes to getting your haircut and head to the local Supercuts. This
wont cut it if your goal is to immediately make yourself more attractive.
The key here is going to a salon that has a great reputation. These salons
will usually cost you much more than your local barber but it's worth
it.
Movie stars look like movie stars because they have the best that money
can by making them look that way. Even if it is only a one time deal you
deserve to get a movie star haircut. Stylists at these salons know how
to shape a haircut around your particular face, head size, and personal
style. There will be a huge difference. Even if you cant afford to
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continually get your hair cut at these more expensive salons, at least you
can take some pictures of yourself and plaster your MySpace profile with
them!
Tip #6- Hang Around Attractive People
Humans look for short cuts when it comes to forming their own
opinions. It is much easier to let others guide us. We tend to look for
reasons that will support our reality. So if we see an average looking girl
hanging around a bunch of models we will tend to look for her better
qualities to justify her being there. The same can be said for an average
looking guy who walks into a bar with a beautiful woman everyone in
the bar will look for his positive qualities to reason it.
On the other end if youre an above average looking person but you hang
out with the local riff raft people will look for your negative qualities to
explain why youre slumming. People like to make opinions quickly. And
one of the easiest ways to do this is to lump you in with the company you
keep. Therefore, the more attractive the company you keep, the more
attractive you will be perceived to be.
Tip #7- Stay Well Kept and Well Groomed
There are grooming tips that you can implement immediately that will
drastically increase your attractiveness. The first is getting rid of all
unwanted hair. This includes nose hair, ear hair, facial hair (especially if
youre a girl), and inappropriate body hair. And pluck your eye brows.
Eliminating a unibrow alone can change the look of your face.
Others actions that you can take is cutting your nails, cleaning wax out of
your ears, controlling dandruff, acne, or other skin conditions.
Tip #8- Learn how to Dance
If you want to attract the attention of the opposite sex during a night on
the town you should consider learning how to dance. A good dancer is
immediately perceived to be more sexual, thus increasing their perceived
attraction.
If you are not a naturally good dancer I would recommend taking some
dance lessons. You can usually find dance lessons locally. The lessons are
usually available in group form and individual form. I would usually
recommend taking a few individual lessons before you jump into the
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group classes. It may cost a few dollars but you will be amazed to see
what kind of response you get next time you're asked out onto the dance
floor.
Tip #9- Add Accessories to your Wardrobe
If you take notice of most celebrities the one thing youll find in common
with all of them is that they all make use of accessories. Accessories are
items you can add to your outfit to give you some added flash.
Accessories include belts, earrings, watches, hats, bracelets, necklaces,
glasses, and scarves. Adding these things to an outfit shows that you put
thought into the way you look, and that you are confident in your ability
to pull off wearing these things.
Good use of accessories will make you more noticeable in a crowd.
There is a term called peacocking which means purposely dressing in a
way to draw attention to you. While you may not choose to go that
extreme, you should seriously consider added some flash to your look.
Tip #10- Smell Good
Smell is one of the brains strongest senses. It is the sense that provokes
the most intense emotions. And can spark animal like sexual attraction.
There is a theory that pheromones play a huge part in sexual attraction
and I would not argue with that at all. One thing is for certain, the better
you smell; the more attractive you will be appear to the opposite sex.
Although taste is subjective, the purchase of a good cologne or perfume
is a great investment. My recommendation is to sample a few different
brands and ask a member of the opposite sex to judge. Ideally you can
have several different men or women give you their opinions on which
one is the best. Once you purchase a fragrance make sure you put just
the right amount of it on. Too much of a good thing can be a turn off.
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Abs are like a prized possession. They seem almost elusive at times. What
makes abs so desirable is that most people arent willing to put in the
effort it takes to get them. This makes people fascinated with them,
which in turn bring up the value of anyone who takes off their shirt to
display a six pack.
For me though, the periods in my life where Ive had abs have always
been more about the sense of personal accomplishment then about how
they looked. although they looked SWEET!
Unfortunately I let myself go over the last year and we all know that
while abs take awhile to build... they disappear in an instant.
Here are three tips that Ive found helpful during the times in my life that
Ive reached my desired outcome. These are no secrets Because there
is no short cut. But sometimes it's good to remember how basic it can be
to get what we want with the proper discipline.
1. Cardio, Cardio, and Cardio: You can do a million crunches a day
but if youve got a solid layer of fat covering your abs youll never see
them. Everyone knows that the trick to getting rid of fat is cardio. What
people fail to realize is that the cardio needs to be intense. 20 minutes on
the treadmill while reading a magazine and chatting on the phone wont
cut it.
Three to four sessions a week of intense jogging, running, the
Stairmaster, the elliptical, jumping rope, or biking should be enough to
get the process in gear. Swimming, hiking, and taking aerobics classes are
beneficial as well. Nothing beats jogging or running. It is the most
intense, efficient, and effective method of burning calories.
It will take a minimum of three to four days a week of intense cardio to
burn the amount of calories needed to shed fat around your gut.
2. Proper Nutrition: I think a problem many people have is that once
they start working out and burning calories they look at it as a free pass
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to pig out. I seriously know girls who finish their workouts and head to
Hagen Daz for a Sundae.
The whole point of spending all that time burning calories is to start
burning the excess fat. If youre filling yourself up with shitty foods,
youll never get to the point where youre body starts converting fat into
energy.
But it is important to get something in you. Not eating on time or at all is
almost as bad as eating too much. You should keep protein intake high
(approximately 50% of daily calories), carbs moderate (40%), and fats
minimal (10%).
Drink at least a gallon of clean water each day as well. It will help in
nutrient absorption and digestion and will help flush toxins from the
body.
Working out Your Abs: The biggest mistake that most people make
when trying to build abdominal muscle is that they do sets of crunches or
sit ups without any resistance. Would you work your biceps out with no
resistance? Or your chest?
Heres an important key. If you want proper abs development, you need
to add resistance (weight) to your abs exercises. Abs are muscles just like
biceps, triceps, pecs, and glutes. You need resistance to properly
strengthen and build them. The same goes for abdominals.
The Five Best Abs Exercises
Cable Rope Crunches - Grab the triceps rope; kneel on your knees, and
bend downwards, forcefully contracting your abs on the way down. Its
basically a crunch; only, you are on your knees. But the contraction is the
same. Dont swing with the hips, you are not using the abs very much if
you do. Just a slight, 30 degree contraction until you feel the abs contract,
hold for a couple seconds, then back up.
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Weighted Leg Raises - Lie flat on your back, with your hands tucked
under your butt. Wrap your feet around a small dumbbell, and perform
leg raises. Start with your feet about 6 inches from the ground, then raise
them about 12-16 inches from the ground and then back down slowly.
These can be done on the end of a bench as well.
Seated Abs Machine - Once again, do not swing all the way down, just
far enough (30 degrees) to fully contract the abs, hold for a couple
seconds, then back up. This is very similar to Cable rope crunches.
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them. What does it say to everyone that you will sacrifice the enjoyment
of your drink to save a buck?
Hell, even if I planned on drinking Miller anyway, I would pay extra to
have them pour it in a pint glass.
Never order anything frozen or served in a novelty glass with a
funny straw unless youre sitting on a beach in the Caribbean.
You think this one would be self explanatory but I never fail to see some
schlep slurping on Mudslide wondering why he hasnt been laid in a year.
Drinking one of the vacation drinks sends out the vibe that you dont
get out often. In fact it says that your life sucks so bad that trolling
around this shitty bar is actually an event for you.
The only exception to this rule is ordering a Margarita at a Mexican joint.
Anything ordered on the rocks looks cool. Lets face it. Rocks glasses
are cool. It doesnt much matter whats in the glass so long as its clear or
brown.
Remember clear or brown I dont care how much you liked the Big
Lebowski its never acceptable to order a White Russian.
The name of the drink is more important than what is inside it.
Because someone is going to hear you order it, or inevitably some girl
will ask you what youre drinking, and you dont want to have to respond
Fuzzy Navel.
Generally, anything with a novelty name like Alabama Slammer, Sex on
the Beach, Malibu Bay Breeze, Buttery Nipple, or Kamikaze is off limits.
And I dont care how good you think it taste you are never ever to
order a Cosmo. Never. Never.
A safe bet is to order something your grandfather would have
drank. There will be times when you freeze like a deer in headlights
when the bartender asks what you drinking. Your first reaction may be
to spit out Michelob Ultra but you need to regroup and imagine what
your grandfather would have ordered.
Back in his day, men were men, and they drank scotch on the rocks, rye
and coke, Manhattan, rusty nail they didnt ruin the integrity of their
vodka by splashing cranberry juice in it.
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So remember it is quite alright to get a little sauced when you hit the
bars in fact I even encourage it. But you must look cool in the process.
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Last night I took my girl to the Bon Jovi concert at MSG. We got home
extremely late, and it took me another hour to wind down enough to
sleep. Needless to say, I was exhausted this morning. After struggling to
find the motivation to begin writing I decided to hit 7-11 for my
second Red Bull of the day.
After guzzling the Red Bull and feeling that instant, but short lived, jolt
of energy I decided to do some research into how I can naturally increase
my energy level.
Energy is the fuel we all run on. Without it we are virtually useless. Think
about how much more you would accomplish in life if you had an
endless supply of energy.
5 Ways to Naturally Increase Your Energy
As easy as it seems to pop a Stacker 3, down a Red Bull, or hit Dunkin
Donuts for your fourth cup of coffee these are all temporary fixes that
will leave you even more depleted in the long run. Everything listed
below will increase your energy level for the long term. You might not
get that instant gratification that a Red Bull will give you, but over time
youll slowly find you no longer need to flood your body with caffeine.
1. Nutrition.
Make sure you get enough fruits, vegetables, proteins and complex
carbohydrates in your everyday diet. Make sure you consume complex
carbohydrates and not just simple carbohydrates. Examples of simple
carbohydrates would be candy, soda, cake and table sugar. Simple
carbohydrates create a short burst of energy that will simply wear off and
leave you depressed. Dont feed your body junk. Youll simply get fat and
become lazier than before.
The carbs that you should be taking into your body should be complex
carbohydrates such as whole grain bread, whole grain rice or even apples.
Continuously feed your body small amounts of complex carbohydrates to
get the most out of your diet.
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In addition to proper diet you should be taking a multi vitamin every day.
Modern diets are usually void of many of the key vitamins and minerals
our bodies need. By taking a daily multi vitamin you can be sure youll be
getting the daily recommended amount of all of them.
If you live an exceptionally active life style you might want to supplement
with an additional B complex. The B vitamins act as coenzymes,
compounds that unite with a protein component called an apoenzyme to
form an active enzyme. The enzyme then acts as a catalyst in the
chemical reactions that transfer energy from the basic food elements to
the body.
Another great way to get bursts of nutrients that your body needs is by
using a juicer. I actually went through a period of about six months
where I had completely given up caffeine and replaced morning coffee
with a homemade juice. It gets messy and expensive, but it truly works
wonders for energy. I would advice picking up a decent juicer along with
a book on good juicing recipes.
2. Conditioning
Conditioning is your efficiency to move oxygen and blood to needed
parts of the body. It includes:
* Strengthening the muscles involved in respiration in order to better
move oxygen in and out of the lungs.
* Working the bodys muscles which support healthy circulation and
blood pressure.
* Increases the number of red blood cells in the body, to better
transport oxygen throughout the body.
Conditioning takes place through daily exercise. The fact is; most of us
dont exercise nearly as much as we should be. Even if you hate the idea
of spending time in the gym, you can be taking a jog at the track, joining
in a game of basketball or ultimate Frisbee, or just taking a morning
power walk around the park.
3. Get the right amount of sleep
Everyones body is different, but on average we need about 7-8 hours of
sleep a night. What most people fail to realize is that even though youve
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been lying in your bed for 8 hours does not mean you got 8 hours of
solid sleep.
Using myself as an example, last night after lying in bed at about 1:00 am,
I tossed and turned, got up several times to use the bathroom, found
myself too hot, and then too cold, adjusting the pillow every 3 minutes
before finally falling asleep at about 2:30.
You need to make sure that you are getting 8 hours of restorative sleep.
If you know you have a tendency to toss and turn for an hour before
finally falling asleep- lie down an hour earlier. If you find you have to
continually go to the bathroom throughout the night, limit your beverage
intake to two hours before bedtime.
If you still find that youre having trouble getting a thorough night sleep
you might want to take some supplements that support sleep patterns
such as ZMA and Melatonin. Remember, I said supplements, not
sleeping pills.
You also want to avoid getting too much sleep. I find that when I stay in
bed an extra hour or two in the morning, I tend to be lifeless the rest of
the day. I would advise you to avoid sleeping more than the
recommended 8 hours.
4. Motivation
One of the surest ways to get you pumped full of energy is to get yourself
in a completely motivated state.
One of the ways that Ive been doing that lately is by writing all of my
goals on index cards. Ive taped the index cards to my computer, to my
bathroom mirror, and to my television. Everywhere I look from the
minute I wake up; I am forced to stare at my goals. There is no hiding
from them. Being forced to look at your goals forces you to think about
what you have to do to achieve them.
Knowing what your goals are is not always enough to motivate some of
us. Sometimes we need to be motivated by the promise of extreme
pleasure or the fear of extreme pain. A good way to stay motivated is to
create a picture album or collage of your goals. In this photo album or
collage paste pictures of things youre striving for. These pictures can
include pictures of the car you want, the body you want, the girl you
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want, the career you want Anything that will inspire you and get your
mind racing.
On the opposite side of that, you can post a picture of yourself with your
less than ideal body weight. If youre trying to lose weight, take a picture
of yourself in a swim suit, and force yourself to see it daily. For some
people the pain of seeing themselves look less than desirable will
motivate them to get off their ass.
5. Anchoring
This is something that Ive been using lately to great success. I have been
flooding my mind with motivational audio programs like Tony Robbins,
Jim Rohn, and Jack Canfield.
Every morning, the first thing I do is listen to one hour of one of these
speakers on my IPod. These speakers, especially Tony Robbins, do a
great job of pumping me up. Ive found that since Ive gotten used to
being pumped up in the morning from the audio that now, even on
days I skip listening to the audio, I am naturally more energized in the
morning.
Music is another great way to create an anchor. If you listen to a certain
song continually during times you feel completely motivated youll be
able to recreate that feeling just by hearing the song.
Ive done this with working out. There are a couple songs I listen to over
and over again at the gym. I will make sure I play these songs while Im
busting my butt on cardio as they always push me to go the extra mile.
What has been remarkable is that even away from the gym, when I hear
these songs I get that burst of motivation I usually feel on the treadmill.
If you follow these 5 tips you should be able to slowly wean yourself off
the Red Bull.
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Most of the stuff is old and anything new was a onetime purchase
(event)
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Throw it Out!
Go through each pile and start throwing out everything you dont wear.
If you are looking at something and saying but I have always had this
or this is my lucky t-shirt, dump it or wash it and put it in a box
somewhere that you will bury as a time capsule for aliens to find in the
future.
The only way this will work is if you get rid of everything you dont wear
so that you can see what you actively have to work with. Most people
only wear 15-25 different items on a regular basis yet everyone has a
closet full of crap.
Whats Left?
If you havent been clothes shopping too much lately then you are
probably left over with a relatively small amount of clothing. These are
your staple outfits that you currently wear.
Now I want you to either write down or take pictures (preferred) of what
you currently have and wear on a regular basis. If you take digital
pictures, then print them out on a cheap color printer so that you can just
cut them out like photos.
Homework
Study the remaining clothes or pictures of them and get ready for Part 2.
Part 2
If you read the previous post in this series The Throw Away, then you
have already gone through your entire wardrobe and thrown away what
you didnt need following the process I outlined. You have also looked at
all the remaining items and studied them, either with photos, pen and
paper or in your head
Now its time to move into the second phase.
Mix and Match
I want you to go through all your remaining clothes and see what actually
goes together. Lets start with colors first. If you dont wear too many
colors (like most men) this will not be hard and may not even be
necessary.
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Look at what you currently have and see what your outfit possibilities
are. Try to make 5 different outfits out of what you have. If you used any
of the clothing items in more than one outfit, then this is a clue where
the weakest part of your wardrobe lies.
The reason I wanted you to make 5 different outfits is because you want
to be able to recycle what you wear every week so that you are not
wearing the same thing every day and for laundry reasons as well. The
ideal set of different outfits is 10 in my opinion. This way you can wear
something different for 10 days and do laundry every 5 days, always
leaving you with clean clothes!
(+ $250)
Now that you have thrown away unused clothes and picked out some
outfits with the remaining, its time to put on the finishing touch on your
new wardrobe. The reason this part requires money is simple, clothes
cost money and you will always have to invest money into your wardrobe
to keep it updated. $250 is a fair amount for a man to spend on his
wardrobe in one day, but just think of it as a kick start to your new
image. Your initial investment
Take some of your hard earned money and get ready to shop, but before
you go I want you to remember the 5 outfits that you are working with
already and/or take pictures of them with you. Think about the weaker
points of your wardrobe and what you need most.
Men can typically wear the same or similar jeans over and over without
any problem so my guess is that you probably are going to take a bulk of
this money and spend it on tops. If you dont have any decent jeans, I
suggest going to the GAP and buying 2 nice pairs of boot cut jeans to
add to your current wardrobe. The jeans should run you about $50$75
Shirts and Tops
To start things off you want to pick up 3-4 new shirts/sweaters or some
kind of top. I would say go to Marshalls or some other Yesterdays
Fashion outlet and look through the clearance racks. I rarely buy things
full price and I always visit the clearance section of every store I go to
first. You should be able to find 3-4 or more nice things for around $75$100.
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And always remember to keep in mind what you already have including
what you buy during this process. Constantly be buying things that will fit
in with what you already have. If you follow this method when buying
clothes you will have more outfits than you can think of as time goes on.
There is a time and a place to add a peacock aspect to it and I will
explain how in the final part of the series.
Part 3
This is the 3rd and final installment of the How to Redo Your Wardrobe
series. In the previous two articles we systematically removed clothes you
no longer wear and then preceded with a plan to kick start your new
wardrobe with a small amount of money. In this part of the series, I will
talk about how to constantly increase your wardrobe at a moderate pace
so you dont go broke and how to peacock (stand out) with items no
matter what your age or profession.
Systems and Schedules
The easiest way to keep a nice wardrobe going is to build it in baby steps,
adding new items one at a time. Most men will go shopping for clothes
every once in a while and just buy a few things that look good, then they
typically go home and realize that these new items dont fit in to well
with their current wardrobe and get frustrated. You have to keep that
food shopping mentality I talked about in the previous article of the
series.
When you are out shopping, keep mental notes of what you already have
in your closet. Just because an item of clothing is nice and looks good in
the store isnt enough to buy it. It has to mesh well with what you already
have for you to get the most value out if it. As your wardrobe gets bigger
you will be able to throw in more loud items, but in the beginning keep
thinks basic using solid colors and common styles.
Lets say you are willing to spend $100 a month to finance your wardrobe
(which is not a lot). With this $100 I would be looking to buy 3 to 4 new
items a month. This means you have to go shopping 3-4 times a month.
Split up the money so you spend around $25 a week on say a new shirt or
pair of pants. You can up the monthly allowance if you like, but I would
still suggest only buying 1-2 items at a time.
Pea cocking without looking like an idiot
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Pea cocking is a term that has become associated with men adding
certain items to their wardrobe to stand out. The problem with this
concept is that everyone is different and therefore has to peacock in a
different way. I feel most of the problem centers around age difference
and profession and I will illustrate how you can peacock no matter
who or where you are in life.
Age 17-21
This is the age range where you are probably all over the place with
finding yourself and an image. You may be wearing a lot of different
styles, stuck in one style because if the people you hang with or just lost
altogether and are still wearing the clothes your parents bought you for
birthdays.
Wherever you are in this phase it doesnt matter. This is the time where
you are going to be experimenting with a lot of things in life so why not
your wardrobe too. Styles with young adults change so quickly that I
suggest keeping things simple and looking for some trendy items. You
dont want to be the person wearing all the different trends because you
will look like you are trying too hard. On the other hand, you have to go
with the trend at times to peacock and demonstrate that you know
whats up
When you buy trendy items, make sure that they can fit in with what you
currently have and arent so crazy that when they fade out, you cant even
wear it anymore. Great examples of this were certain brands and t-shits
when I was young. BUM Equipment was huge when I was in HS and
that sh*t is UGLY! Then there were those heat activated fabrics that
changed colors when you touched it, great for Kino now that I think of
it, but still ugly as sh*t. If you are constantly buying this trendy crap then
soon you will have a wardrobe like a clown, if you dont already... he he
What I am basically saying is that as a young person with no job, the
playing field is open to almost anything in the style department. Just
remember that staple items are needed no matter what. Have plenty of
solid shirts and pants that you can use when wearing your trendy
item(s). Having these staple items will allow you to evolve with the
trends while maintaining a nice foundation for your entire wardrobe.
As for the young professionals out there, I will break this down in 2
separate categories.
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different than the jacket that comes with a suit. It is true that some suit
jackets can double as a sport coat, but this situation is pretty rare due to
the material and look of suits. Lately it is big to wear a sport coat with a
hoodie under it and I think it looks pretty sharp. Funny thing is that you
see guys wearing jackets from their bar mitzvahs and communions with
a hoodie and it looks stupid.
Sport coats are items that are meant to stand alone and are made with
fabrics that are easier to match up with common pants. Just go to any
store and walk around touching the fabrics in the suits section and then
go over to the sport coats and see the difference for yourself.
When picking out sport coat styles I would again keep it simple. Forget
the designs on the back with that Ed Hardy type look, it will either
look cheap or you will only be able to wear it once in a while. Instead
look for cool fabrics to peacock. There are a ton of different fabrics for
sport coats and the more you shop the more you will discover.
Shoes
Shoes are unique part of any mans wardrobe and they can say a little or a
lot about you. When dressing professional, I would suggest wearing
simple styles with nice textures. This is almost the same principle that I
talked about earlier with the sport coat fabrics. Loud shoes often scream
cheesy and/or make you look like a fool. Real men peacock shoes with
class and sedulity. Dont worry, women will notice the smallest pattern
and lookafter all they addicted to shoes themselves.
As far as the style of the shoe, I prefer laces to slip on types because I
feel they just look better. I own slip on shoes and I do like them, but
over all I feel they are a little less dressy than the laced styles besides the
fact they are getting played out. The simple fact that you dont have to tie
a slip on combined with the laziness factor of men has caused this style
to be played out.
Dont forget to wear nice socks and a matching belt! No god dam white
socks!!!!
Age 21-30 Business Casual and Outside of Work
Now lets say that you work in a nice place but its business casual and/or
you are outside of work. Being that you wont likely be wearing a tie or
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sport coat, I am going to focus on pea cocking other items I may have
told you to tone down in the above section.
Shirts
In the previous section I mentioned to keep you shirts as solids and use
the tie and other accessories to accomplish your James Bond peacock
style. When being casual the rules change and the power shifts to other
items of your wardrobe. So lets talk button downs
There are many different styles and brands of button down shirts but in
general I feel most of them look the same and will get you thrown into
the mix with the other cookie cutter button down styles. When buying
these types of shirts I almost always go with a designer and/or stick to a
few. My personal favorite, Ben Sherman.Their designs are unique and
dressy at the same time. I mention Ben Sherman because I like their
stuff, I have plenty of unique no name button downs that are probably
my strongest items and they were purchased at stores like Marshalls and
Kohls. Being able to pick out unique styles is a skill you hone over time
and mixing your wardrobe up like this will keep you from being
pinpointed as a BRAND whore.
Take some chances with it, you will be surprised.
Pants and Slacks
Fabrics, Fabrics, Fabrics I cant say it enough. If you are a magician
then you can wear pants with flames and naked girls, if not grow up!
Touch the clothes as you look through them, feel the difference. If you
are wearing a nice pair of pants that feel great from the material, women
will notice and they will probably touch you just because of it.
Wow, those pants look comfortable!
I would also recommend staying away from pleated designs, they are too
old man-ish and hard to keep pressed. Stick with a nice smooth looking
nice feeling choice. Since most of these pants will need to be tailored, this
allows you another opportunity to add a little peacock to it.
If you are going to go with a cuff in the pants, make it a nice phat one,
say 1 inches give or take with your height. This big cuff reminds me a
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little of that gangster look from the days of Tommy Gun, I think its bad
ass
In closing:
I hope you have really enjoyed this series and especially this last
installment which I worked pretty hard on. I am sure that I may have
missed some things or not fully answered your questions so please leave
any in the comments below.
Game On!
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Its all fair in war and that is exactly what move in day at the
dorms is.
Sure, youll probably want to spend your last day in your hometown
boozing it up with your high school buddies into the wee hours of the
night. Mom and dad will wake you up at noon or so hung over
youll start loading the cars up with your microwave, TV, posters,
computers
Youll get to campus around two, fight the traffic and commotion of
another thousand underclassmen pushing shopping carts full of their
shit, all walking around like clueless tourists
And then youll walk into your closet sized dorm room And your
nerdy ass roommate will have already jam packed his stuff into the
limited closet space and even worse hell have claimed the better
bed.
Son, when it comes to move in day You need to beat your roommate
to the punch.
Yes, it may sound cruel sure, there should probably be a more fair way
of choosing but the reality is the early bird gets the worm.
No matter how big of a dick you feel for claiming the best bed, most
closet space, covering the walls with your Pink Floyd and Bob Marley
posters just know he would do the same thing to you in an instant.
If you walk in and find that there are bunk beds you have instant
decision to make.
Most people will generally jump at the lower bunk (I was one of the late
hung-over fools who got the top bunk)
But in reality, there are drawbacks to both:
Downsides to the bottom bunk:
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You clunk you head on the supports under the top bunk if you sit
up too quickly.
People will always be sitting on your bed when they come in your
room.
When your roommate climbs down from the top hell probably
wind up stepping on your head out of spite.
Every time you wake up to piss in the middle of the night youve
got to climb down half asleep.
Even with the downsides of the bottom bunk always choose it.
Chances are youre roommate will have wanted it This gives you a
great bargaining tool later.
As for appliances, entertainment, and computers
As tempting as it sounds to let him haul all his stuff to the dorms, and
mooch off his big screen TV and 27 inch computer monitor Always fill
the room with as much of your shit as possible.
As much as you will both try to pretend everything is equal the guy
who owns it unconsciously has final say over how its used. For instance,
you want to watch the Yankee game, he wants to watch the Mets its
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215
I want to prelude this story by saying that this one of those stories that
makes me question my own moral character. I mean, this is an all time
low, even by Bobby Rio standards. But whats done is done.
Two years ago a college friend of mine, John, was getting married in
Buenos Aires, Argentina. He had lived there the past 4 years, and
although he had planned to move back to the US, he fell in love with an
Argentinean girl, and the rest is history. He invited a bunch of us to the
wedding. Out of all our friends, only my friend Jake and I decided to go.
We had both been to South America enough times to know not to bring
sand to the beach, but the both of us were in the thick of relationships
and our girls jumped at the chance to have a romantic getaway in Buenos
Aires.
I was still within the first 3 months with Kate, my girl, so I didnt
necessarily mind having her tag along on this trip. Jake, on the other
hand, had been with his girl close to two years and was miserable that he
wouldnt be able to tag some new Spanish ass.
Needless to say we were both ecstatic when we get a call from Johns
cousin the first night down there informing us that his bachelor party was
tonight. We had arrived just in time!! The girls, although not happy to be
spending their first night in Argentina alone, had no choice but to go
along with it.
The bachelor party was the one of the craziest experiences Ive ever seen.
I could write an entire post on the bachelor party alone, but the party
isnt the point of the story so Ill sum it up quickly. A bunch of Johns
Spanish friends, Jake, and I, kidnap John from his apartment. Force him
into womans clothing and throw him in the back of a van. The entire
drive in the van we are guzzling beers, wine, and whatever bottle of hard
liquor that is currently being passed around. John is blindfolded and
mouth duck taped, and we are shouting derogatory things at him while
harassing him physically. His Spanish friends were downright cruel.
At one point they put duct tape over Johns hairy nipples, and then rip it
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off. Then they open up the back of the van and make John (still in
womens clothing) run behind the van tied to a leash. (The beauty of 3rd
world laws) This part of the story climaxed when we arrive in a park that
was filled with Transsexual prostitutes. Ive never seen so many trannies
in my life. We take John out of the car and tie him to a fence and pretend
to drive away, leaving him to be ravaged by Planet of the Shemales. We
let him sweat it out for about a half hour, then we loaded him into the
van and headed to the strip bar.
The strip bar was a full frontal festival of beautiful busty Latinasor as I
like to call it; heaven. Unfortunately most of Johns friends were married
and were more excited about the kidnapping part of the night, then the
titty bar. Jake and I had other plans. We are sitting on a couch with two
of the strippers listening to them tell us how much they love our blonde
hair and blue eyes (I think that's code for I love your money) Anyway,
Jake who speaks some Spanish asks them if they want to hang out
tonight. They say they cant leave the bar till 4, but give us their numbers
and make us promise to call them this week. We take the numbers and
leave.
The next couple days of the trip are quite civil, involving a lot of
sightseeing, big dinners, wedding preparations, and getting dragged to
every clothing store in the city so that our girls can take advantage of 3rd
world bargains. All the while the strippers phone numbers are just
burning a hole in our pockets.
Finally the 4th day into the trip Jake cant take it anymore He says we
have to go meet the strippers. Just for kicks, he says. I am honestly
pretty content at this point with Kate, and am in no rush to go sneaking
around with strippers, on what was supposed to be a romantic getaway
with my girlfriend. But Im a good friend, and I can see how much Jake
needs this. So I agree to hang out with the strippers. Our plan is to just
meet them for lunch or something, just flirt a little bit, let them grope us,
and go home.
Jake calls the stripper, and after some back and forth conversation in
Spanish that I couldnt understand, he turns to me and says They want
us to meet them at their apartment. They gave me the address. Meeting
them at their apartment was a little more than I bargained for, but what
the hell.
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We make up some excuse about going to meet John for one last guys
only luncheon. The girls look at this as an opportunity to go on a
shopping binge without us, and dont seem to mind our departure.
A cab drops us off in front of a large brick building. We stand outside the
building giggling nervously like a couple of giddy teenagers. We muster
up the courage and walk in. We have to walk up 8 floors of stairs to get
to their apartment. I am quite winded by the time we reach the top and
barely notice the 2 two middle aged white men that just exited the
apartment we were about to enter. Jake looks at me with a what the
fuck type of look. I just shrug.
It is immediately clear upon entering the apartment that we have just
entered a classic South American Brothel. There is a Madame sitting at a
desk, who asks us our names when we enter. We make up a couple fake
names. She asks us who we are here to see. Jake pulls out his paper with
the phone numbers, and reads two names. The Madame tells us to take a
seat.
Jake and I sit and give each other little looks. We are both in shock,
disappointed, disgusted, confused, and are trying to gauge the others
desire to go through with this. After a minute of stern deliberation it is
settled. We will fuck the whores!!!
My fake name is called first. I walk toward the desk where the Madame
asks me for $35. (Yes $35And our girlfriends thought they were
getting bargains in the malls) I hand her about 100 pesos, roughly $40,
and wait for my change. I look at Jake, who is grinning like a kid in a
candy store. My stripper, if by stripper you mean prostitute, comes out of
a room and hand signals me to follow her.
I feel a little I dont want to say sleazy you know just a little
creped out but shes wearing only a robe and I keep hearing my dick
say follow her boy fasterdamnit!!! A minute later Im in a dingy
little room filled with a small bed, a television set, and a night stand. Im
slightly embarrassed by the situation and the fact that a language barrier
prevents us from communicating. Im really not sure how Im supposed
to proceed with the scenario.
My prostitutes face is a little less pretty than I remember... Her bodys
alright, except for a really nasty c-section scar. She is drenched in hooker
perfume (presumably to cover up the smell of her previous appointment)
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She is smiling and rubbing her titties under the robe. She takes my hand
and puts it on her breast. I feel extremely dirty. But oddly, my dick is
quite hard. And he wins.
My performance is adequate, if not stellar. She is happy. I am probably
the first guy under forty shes fucked all day. She wants to cuddle We
lay there with about twenty minutes to kill. Her perfume is giving me a
headache so I have my face buried in the pillow. She is running her hands
through my hair and licking my ear. I am no longer turned on.
Now that Ive cum she looks even less pretty and the c-section scar looks
even uglier and nastier. I want to get the fuck out of there but I dont
want to sit in the lobby waiting for Jake. My prostitute is whispering
something in Spanish. I think she is telling me she loves me. She tries to
kiss me on the lips. I try to gesture that I have a headache. She just keeps
trying to tongue me. I may throw up. I get out of the bed and begin
putting my clothes on.
Jake meets me in the lobby a few minutes later. He gives me a nod. We
both hurry out of there through the halls... down the staircase out
the door and smack into the cold light of day.
After briefing one another on the gory details of the last hour, Jake starts
sniffing me. I back away. He moves forward and smells me again.
Dude, you fucking reek of hooker perfume
Fuck! That bitch was drenched in the shit.
I attempt to smell myself several times.
I need a shower badly. I cant show up at our hotel smelling like a
whore.
You need to burn those clothes, too Jake is laughing.
This aint fucking funny man.
We go through my options:
1. Show up smelling like a whore... Deny and play dumb. 2. Call John see
if I can go to his place... shower, borrow clothes, and hope Kate doesnt
notice Im wearing a different outfit. 3. Buy some cologne and drench
myself in enough of it to override hooker scent.
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I call John from a pay phone. I try to explain my situation but the
reception is horrible. I shout can I come over for a minute into the
phone. He shouts Sure
Jake and I take a cab to Johns apartment. We jump out of the cab and
ring Johns bell repeatedly. Were buzzed in and quickly rush up three
flights of stairs. We need to take care of this as fast as possible as the
girls are surely beginning to wonder what's taking us so long.
Johns fianc answers the door. I am stunned. I try to hide my stench
behind Jake. She motions for us to come in. I reluctantly enter. Once we
get in we notice that not only is Mariella, his fianc there but so is
Mariellas mother and father. She wants to introduce us to them. She
grabs my hand and leads me toward them.
She introduces us as Johns amigos de Estados Unidos. I try to wave to
avoid a handshaking and kiss, but it's too late. Her mother comes over
and kisses me on the cheek. She almost chokes. Her father gets a whiff of
the smell and starts sniffing suspiciously. He smells his wife (like she
might be the one drenched in whore juice) John then walks out of the
bathroom and immediately blurts out What's that smell?
Jake points at me. My mind is blank for an excuse as to why I smell like
whore. I point back at Jake. Everyone in the apartment is completely
uncomfortable with the situation. No one wants to ask me why I smell
like Ive taken a bath in cheap perfume. I ask John if I can use the
bathroom.
Once I get in the bathroom I start washing my hands, face, neck fuck
it... I take off my shirt and start washing my chest and stomach. I am now
completely naked scrubbing myself with a sponge that was in his shower.
I can only imagine the conversation that is taking place outside the door.
I start to put my clothes back on and realize that it would be defeating
the purpose of washing if I put the smelly clothes back on. I lean out the
door and call for John. John comes to the door.
You guys went to meet those strippers didnt you?
Ill explain later can you please get me some clothes to wear?
Yea but youre bigger than me. Theyre going to be a little tight.
I dont fucking care
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I put on Johns clothes. They are a quite tight on me. The shirt is not bad.
But the jeans make me look like an 80s rocker. I exit the bathroom, and
in an effort to avoid any more embarrassing conversation I quickly
announce that we have to meet our girlfriends back at the hotel. Mariella
and her parents are still in total shock and barely acknowledge me when I
wave goodbye. I thank John for the clothes and grab Jake and we
bounce.
We finally get back to the hotel. I hesitantly enter my room. Kate is
waiting for me. She is lying in bed relaxing after a hard day shopping.
She is happy to see me. Then she notices the clothes I am wearing. I
make up an excuse about spilling spaghetti sauce all over myself at
lunch had to go to Johns to change. She believes my story.
Just my luck shes horny. She gives me the fuck me eyes I try to tell
her that Im tired. Not in the mood but apparently my tight eighties
rocker jeans are turning her on. She starts nibbling my ear. I feel too
guilty to speak. I am afraid I might blurt something stupid out. So I just
go along with it. She pulls off me for a second.
Are you wearing perfume? she asks.
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You bought three new, well-reviewed, novels for this trip. Youve always
envisioned yourself as the kind of guy, who on vacation, reads
Hemingway at a table outside a caf along the water, sipping a glass of
Cabernet. The kind of guy, who wakes up early and takes a jog on the
beach, has fruit for breakfast, maybe plays a game of tennis, and then hits
up a local museum.
Your highly acclaimed novels are still buried beneath dirty clothes in your
suitcase. You dont know at exactly what point you deviated from your
ideal self. This morning when you called your mother you felt
ashamed. You used phrases like Nice and relaxing Catching up on
work Plowing through novels Good restaurants "and often lonely
to describe the trip.
You hang up the phone and pay the fifteen Reas for the call. Now that
youve made your token phone calls you feel like you have just been to
Confession at church. Yet, you confessed nothing.
You are still riding the adrenaline rush of last nights Red Bull and Cialis
fueled comet trail of adventure. Bits and pieces are forming shapes in
your mind as you sip an espresso and watch the girls parade down the
strip in their short denim skirts, hiked up for extra effect. A street kid
puts out his hand for coins as he passes you by. No tengo nada you lie.
He curses you out in Portuguese.
Your night began at Amozoa, or was it Europa? You were already pretty
tight when you arrived. You entered to pounding bongo drums, a vaguely
tribal feel, and a clan of scantily clad Brasileras shaking their stuff on
stage to the pulse of the music. No sign of the blonde and her friend that
you were supposed to meet. But Brasileras have no concept of on time,
so you dont worry, and make your way to the bar to grab a Bohemia and
take in the view. You were here two years ago but that trip was during
your Black Label phase, which left you with very few clear memories,
and a liver that still has not forgiven you.
Where you from?A Brazilian guy is shouting in your ear.
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You wonder if you have the word gringo tattooed on your forehead.
Youre not sure if you welcome company at this time. You were quite
enjoying your own blurred thoughts and not quite enticed by the idea of
engaging conversation with a guy who obviously wants something from
you. But your well raised childhood taught you to never be rude.
Estados Unidos, you scream back.
You like Coca, Marijuana?
Only chicas you say.
Ill find you a good one. What you like?
No necassario, you tell him. For some reason you always feel
compelled to speak your broken Portuguese, even when theyre speaking
English.
He calls over probably the only two ugly girls in the club. They both have
penciled in eye brows and slicked back jet black hair, and you wonder if
they could be transvestites.
You like? he asks you. The guy seems genuinely pleased with himself.
The girl/guy things are giving you fuck me eyes and while their gender
is not clear, it is certain that they are prostitutes. You politely thank their
pimp but tell him I already have a chica.
You check your watch. You decide to do a lap and see if your blonde and
friend have arrived. As you crack open your second Bohemia you wonder
if you have the energy to go through with the night. All could have been
avoided if you had only jerked off when the desire arose earlier in the
day. But jerking off in Brazil seemed like an Oxymoron, and visions of
the blonde naked were like piranhas gnawing on your brain. Maybe a
Red Bull will help you man up. You walk back to the bar and order
your first of the night.
You feel a hand graze you butt. Thinking it might be a pick pocket you
swat it away. A petite light skinned Brasilera giggles. You wonder if
maybe it wouldnt be such a bad thing if the blonde doesnt show up. Its
not like you dont have options. You turn to the girl and go Cave Man on
her. You grab her ass like you own it. She shakes her finger no but her
smile lets you know it okay to continue. You run your hand from her ass
up the curves of her abdomen, when you near her breast she grabs your
hand and places it back on her ass. You twirl her around and do a once
over.
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When you started to sense that the friend might be the type to be
persuaded you upped the antedivvied up your attentiontreated
them equally special. And when the two of them, guards finally down,
ran their fingers through your hair and kept repeating muito lindo you
saw the potential for something truly spectacular. No. Youre not willing
to wave the white flag quite yet. No way, Jose.
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The night bellman at your hotel is talking loudly at you in a language you
dont understand. You get the gist of it though. Apparently strolling in at
4am with a couple of barely legal Brasileras is frowned upon at this
establishment. No one sent you the memo. You rode in like a rock star, a
girl dangling from each arm, kicking over a flower pot, ordering the
cleaning lady to bring a bottle of Scotch up to your room Pronto!
These sorts of things arent acceptable in Hotel Luzieros, Fortalezas
most well known and luxurious hotel, he is telling you. He points at the
door. You want to knock that smug look off his Portuguese face.
The whole matter could have easily been resolved with a small bribe. But
you blew any chance of that happening with your American sense of
entitlement and incoherent attack on his character. You slovenly escort
the two girls outside.
One voice in your head says Cut your losses- there is always tomorrow.
A louder voice hails down a cab and says To the cheapest motel.
Rapido! Por Favor
You would be damned to let the night go up in flames at this point. Just a
few hours ago you were in the mist of the single biggest girl heist of your
life. Back at the club you had come out of the bathroom to spot your
girls sandwiched in the middle of a group of Norwegians. You felt a little
intimidated. Has your Super Americano Power waned? Have your girls
been swept away with tales of a booming European economy
You decide to flex your muscles. You signal over a cocktail waitress. You
order 8 shots of the Brazilian equivalent of Yagermeiser. You have the
waitress deliver the shots to your girls and their new Norwegian friends.
The group is confused. They reluctantly do the shots looking around
to see who the mysterious stranger is that sent them. You make your
Great Gatsby entrance.
The girls could not be happier to see you. You get two kisses on the lips.
Youre drunk and go for tongue but both girls resist. Nights early, you
think. You take the blonde by the hand and immediately remove her
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from the group. You look back and feel bad leaving the brunette to the
pack of Norwegian wolves. You signal for her to come over.
The girls drag you on the dance floor. Your gringo sense of rhythm is
usually a game killer but tonight youre Michael fucking Jackson. You
take turns grinding with each girl you look on in disbelief as the girls
grind sexually with each other. They get closer closer closerThey Kiss.
Jackpot!
After an hour or two of dry humping the two Brasileras and taking turns
kissing them you suggest the bounce. Their eyes light up. You flashback
to an incident in Brazil two years prior involving a spotlight, a couple
machine guns, and a girl who turned out to be sixteen. You casually ask
the girls to see their documents. Raquel, the blonde is twenty. Emelia, the
brunette is eighteen. The coast is clear for takeoff.
Toward dawn you are sitting in the front seat of a cab next to Manny
the driver. In the back seat Raquel is disappearing inside Emelias dress.
You trust that Manny is actually taking you to a motel and not to a
guerrilla hide out where you will be kidnapped and tortured. But you
arent certain.
Mannys hand is on your knee and he is talking loudly and passionately in
Portuguese. He is asking you questions. You smile and nod. Smile and
nod. You think Manny likes you, but can never be sure of these things.
He could just as easily be saying You parents will pay the ransom. And
if they dont we chop you up and feed you to pigs The girls are too busy
to notice.
The long winding road that is Avenida Beira Mar travels the course of
the night- from the opulent to the destitute. Outside the street is still
tinkered with people. Down the road, a lone hooker trots on heels, one
hand holding her skirt from riding too far up her ass. As your cab gets
closer you see that she is topless. Manny doesnt blink an eye as you pass
her. Manny could probably tell you stories that would break your heart.
Make you run back to the States.
But you dont want to think about these things right now. Brazil is a
strange place for sure. Youll have some contemplating to do when you
get home. Maybe even some life decisions to make. Rearrange some
priorities. Pick up some pieces From the back seat Emelia lets out a
squeal. You reach your hand in the back and one of the girls begins
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sucking your fingers. Yea once upon a time, you were one of the good
guys. Maybe you can be again Just not tonight.
When Manny pulls away, leaving you and the girls in front of the motel,
you experience a moment of doubt. Growing up you always thought the
other guys knew some fundamental secret about girls that you didnt.
These guys seemed to know what they were doing. It wasnt until college,
with the help of alcohol, that you began to feel comfortable around
them. Even as you began a long string of conquests you always had the
feeling you were just learning what came naturally to others. And even as
it finally began to come naturally to you, you still had that underlying fear
that youll be discovered as a fraud. Looking at the girls, that is just about
how you feel right now.
All your doubts are alleviated when Raquel and Emelia fall onto the bed.
Their bodies are twisting and turning into one another. They are giggling
in a way that reminds you that this is exactly where they want to be. And
when they quickly undress, you are reminded that this is exactly where
you want to be. Raquel is the first to signal you onto the bed. You slide
into them. They both are both kissing your neck. You run your hands
along the crest of their abdomens. Emelia gently slides your pants down
to your ankles.
Sandwiched in between the two warm bodies, you can only wonder what
you did in a previous life to reap these fruits in this one.
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It is awkward in her apartment. There is this little dog that keeps jumping
on my leg, and I have to pet it while she tells me how cute it is. I keep
nodding my head. This is going to be a long night, I think. At that
precise minute she puts the dog into her purse and tells me she is taking
it with us for drinks. She tells me the puppy is too scared to stay home
alone. I tell her, that is a problem, isn't it? She says well go to a place
outside. I tell her, This is New Jersey there are no outside cafes. She
insists and I don't feel like arguing.
She soon realizes that New Jersey, does in fact, have no outdoor places. I
have now been in the car with her for twenty minutes. I wish I could tape
record this car ride to play to people to demonstrate the torture I was
going through listening to this bitch. Talking loudly and compulsively
about nothing. Nothing I care about anyway. Finally I say, Just pick a
place and leave the fucking dog in the car. She picks the Town Pub,
which was good, because I don't know many people that go there. We
get to the pub and this bitch wont leave the thing in the car. This idiot
puts this little puppy in her purse. I smile because, well, because she's
crazy.
Amazingly the dog is being good. Apparently her rambling has put it to
sleep. Unfortunately I dont have that option. So I do the next best thing
and guzzle gin and tonics. She is in the middle of some story about how
she got pulled over for no good reason, and a guy playing pool over
hears her. Hes a cop and is interested in her story. I take this as my cue
to excuse myself for a much needed piss break.
I get out of the bathroom and this bitch has a crowd of derelicts
surrounding her. All egging this stupid cop story on. Instead of joining
the fun I walked over to the pool table where three girls were about to
start playing. I recognized one of the girls. She was an old college friend
of a friend type girl. Over the summer she was getting harassed by a
bouncer who was claiming her ID was a fake. I was behind her in line
and she told him to verify her name with me. When the guy asked me, I
just for the life of me couldnt remember her name. And so she was
kicked out of the club.
I felt this was a perfect time to apologize for my blunder. Plus one her
friends had made eye contact with me while I was grabbing a drink at the
bar on the way back from the bathroom. Luckily her name came back to
me right then. Lauren, I say to get her attention.
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Shes a friendly girl and within minutes I'm the fourth player on a two on
two pool game. I figure Jill wont mind, she is preoccupied with the
derelicts anyway. I paired with Ivana. The cute one who was eying me.
She has an accent. She's from Denmark or France or something. We are
hitting it off nicely. We are all kind of making fun of my obnoxious
friend and her and her obnoxious stories. I explain my ordeal. They feel
my pain. I need another drink. I offer to buy the girls a round. Something
I never do, but I'm feeling sporty.
I should have never left because when I come back Jill is by the pool
table telling the girls how we were each other's firsts. I feel queasy. As Jill
is talking to the girls, I twirl my finger by my ear to signify shes crazy.
The girls all laugh. I call Ivana over to me, and proceed to defend myself
for ever having dated this idiot. I walk her away from the crowd. We chat
for a few. We exchange numbers.
When we walk back to pool table there is tension between Jill and
Lauren. Jill stops in the middle of a sentence to point out that Lauren has
been giving her dirty looks. Jill comes over to me and explains how
Lauren just hates her for fucking her ex boyfriend. And a bunch of other
shit I could care less about. I just wanted to talk to Ivana some more. I
tell Jill to go to the bathroom and cool down for a minute.
When she leaves, the puppy wakes up. And apparently is scared of pubs.
It starts freaking out. All the girls hover around the dog. I explain what a
dog was doing in her purse. They decide that Jill is unfit to raise this dog,
and decide to take it. I give a, I didn't see nothing look. One of the girls
grabs the dog and heads for the door. I walk back over to Ivana and see
if there is any chance of getting her back to my house later.
Jill has made her way back to the booth near the pool table. She glances
at the bag and realizes that there is no dog in there. She panics. She looks
under the table. She starts scurrying around. The two remaining girls
decide it's a good time to flee. Ivana and I say a nice goodbye. I promise
to call. Meanwhile Jill has lost it completely. She realizes that the girls are
gone now too. She is crying hysterically. She is screaming that the girls
stole her dog. Everyone in the place is staring at her like she's crazy. Only
she is crazy. I tell her, I will go outside to see if the girls have it.
I'm standing by Laurens SUV. The three girls are in it with the puppy. I
tell them they should probably give it back. Just then Jill comes barreling
out the front door. Her face is covered in blood. She is absolutely
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hysterical. She runs over to the SUV and starts screaming at the girls. A
bouncer calls me over and asks me what happened. He wants to know if
they really have her dog. I shrug, feeling a little guilty for letting it
happen.
We look over at the car where Jill has pulled Lauren out. They are both
punching each other violently. I ask the bouncer if he's going to break it
up. Not till a titty pops out, he says. Finally the bouncer runs over and
breaks it up. He then searches the truck for the dog. He takes it from the
truck and hands it to Jill. Jill is crying and bleeding and hugging the dog. I
suggest we leave.
We are outside Jills apartment and I'm trying to calm her down. Her lip
is still bleeding pretty badly. I ask her how it happened. She was bleeding
when she came out of the pub, before the fight. She doesn't remember.
Maybe she ran into a wall in all the confusion. I kind of pat her on the
back, give her a little hug, and tell her, "it's been a fun night, but I have to
go." She says it's really fucked up for me to just leave her like this. I tell
her I have work early. I give her another little hug. She gets blood on me.
I push her off and start to walk away. She says she can't believe I'm
leaving. I can. I got to get as far away from this psychopath as possible.
My head hits the pillow and I wonder if this is really what my life has
come to. That night I dream of Beth and being up in Killington with her.
Her all bundled up. Looking so cute as she keeps falling into the snow. I
teach her how to ski and she picks it up quickly and soon she is beating
me down the mountain. Later in the night we make love in the outdoor
hot tub with a couple watching, waiting for us to use up the half hour we
were allowed to be in there. When our half hour was up we just keep
making love until someone from the front desk has to come in and tell us
to leave.
I'm awakened from my dream the next morning with a phone call from
Jill. She's in the emergency room and just wants to tell me what a
complete and utter selfish, heartless dick I am. I agree. I really can be a
dick. And so begins another fine morning.
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I could be fucking Tammy any day this week plenty of other girls too. I
say this, and know it is a weak comeback. I await the abuse.
Yea, if she could stay out past her curfew. What time is it again, on
school nights? Brian says.
I think I saw her hanging out in front of 7-11 the other night, Jake
inputs.
That's it, I'm getting laid tonight. And I'm getting you two pricks laid
too.
Work you're magic, Bobby.
These two dicks. I could bring Keira Knightly home and fuck her on the
kitchen table and they still wouldn't be impressed.
You joke now. But tomorrow morning, you'll both be thanking Bobby.
I am saying this wondering how the hell I am going to deal with them
tomorrow morning when we all wake up alone.
I call out of work. I try to think where I can go on a Monday morning to
meet some women. I head to Barnes and Noble. I always hear stories of
successful book store pickups. Not much talent here this morning
though. There is a cute girl behind the counter serving coffee, but I have
a vague recollection of a past conversation that didn't go so well. As the
details of conversation become less blurry I decide I better get the hell
out of there before she recognizes me.
I hang out in Shop Right for a bit, but it is the first Monday of the
month, and it is full of people cashing in their food stamps. Although I
was fairly confident I could have taken home this Mexican women that
kept giving me the eye, she had two bratty kids that would have posed a
problem in closing the deal quickly. I headed home to regroup.
I am sitting on my computer, browsing profiles on MySpace. I had put a
profile up a month or two ago, but still kind of considered it creepy to be
contacting girls online. I also quickly found that my off beat sense of
humor didn't translate well in emails.
I still managed to waste hours browsing profiles. I looked at it like I was
acquiring ammunition in case I ever ran into one of these girls in a bar. I
figured I just start humming one of her favorite songs, maybe casually
mention how much I love Lost or whatever other stupid show she has
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listed under TV, and I'd be golden. I mean it would be fate; shed have to
fuck me right?
Fate. A lovely word, I think as my home screen reads new messages.
Now, I very rarely got messages on MySpace. My about me and who I'd
like to meet, might explain it.
About me:
Well, if I'd have to do a newspaper singles ad it word read something like
this, Single white, male, hung like a -use your imagination- women. Or
better yet, contact me and I'll show you. My spare time consists of trying
to find ways to sneak strange women out of my room before they realize
that I don't know their name. Or how I met them. I'm sure you're
reading this and wondering, how can I be one of those lucky ladies? Well
it's your special day. I am currently taking applications for Wednesday
nights. So send at least four pictures. Two of the pictures have to be
body shots. And write me a brief essay on why you deserve to be Bobby's
Miss Wednesday Night.
Who I'd like to meet:
Adventurous, spontaneous, open minded women. Brazilian or Asian, a
plus!
I did not receive many applications, I am sad to report. So I am a bit
surprised when I see that it's a girl called "Everything I thought you
know" that has messaged me. I read the email. I have posted it in its
entirety.
"Pick me!"
And so we have a winner. I click on her profile page to check her out
more. View more pictures. Only three. I enlarge them and get set to
analyze. Adorable face. Blonde. Slightly chubby, but in that sloppy
goodness sort of way. Picture Tara Reid twenty five pounds heavier. No
clear body shots. An exposed left arm kind of scares me. A tad larger
than I would prefer. But as I'm looking at her picture my dick is getting
hard so it's settled. She'll do. I go back to her profile page. She is only
eighteen. For a moment I feel special. I start believing the hype. I am the
man. I am the mother fucking man. Then the thought hits me, what if
she is smart enough to be displaying sarcasm. I read her interests, about
me, and heroes, and decide that she is, not in fact, that smart. Perfect.
I wrote her back. I have posted the email in its entirety.
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I will be at my computer for the next three hours. If you would seriously
like to be considered for the role, IM me at Bobbyrio03 on AOL. If I
hear from you we'll take it further.
Now I've heard of online success stories. I have a friend Michael that
cleans up online. I'm actually trying to get him to write a book on the
subject. He pulls 3 or 4 girls a week off MySpace and Match. I'd say half
the time he fucks them the first night. So I know it is possible. I just
never had a need to bother with it. Until now.
Exactly three hours later she contacts me. It was an extremely long
conversation, and in an effort to save space, I will not post it in its
entirety. Instead I will break it down into subjects.
Boring small talk
More boring small talk
How hot I am
What kind of piercing she has
What kind of tattoos she has
What she's doing tonight
Does she have 2 friends
Are they hot
Me looking at friends MySpace profiles
Again, what she's doing tonight
Her looking at my roommates MySpace profiles
Her telling me how hot they are
Us making plans for tonight
Now, if you're thinking that sounded too easy, everything will be
explained later.
A bit of information I skipped over in the subject matter. Me telling her
that one of her friends was too fat for my roommates, and she will have
to bring someone else. She tells me that these two girls are the only ones
that would be willing to come tonight. I hesitantly agree, laughing inside
at the thought of which of roommates would wind up with the fat one.
When my roommates get home I tell them the news. I leave out the small
detail above. They are both very happy. We plan the night. We will need:
Beer, a deck of cards, food (so that fat one doesn't drag them out to
McDonalds before things get going) condoms, music, and that's about it.
The beauty of eighteen year olds is that they are extremely easy to
impress.
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8:30 PM
The piggies arrive. They stampede in, one bigger than the next. My
roommates look at me in shock. I shrug. There is an instant decision to
be made. The three of us are communicating solely with eye glances.
The message has been sent. They are fat. We are all thoroughly
disappointed. We will fuck them anyway.
And so it's on. I assume the role of gracious host.
I take their jackets. Only my girl will not release it. She tells me it's cold. I
cringe. I know what that jacket hides. It will not be pretty later. I decide
the jacket should stay on until I put a few beers down.
We do the introductions.
There is Katie (horse). There is Aimee (gothic horse). And Kristen (shit
smeller). While my horse is no prize, gothic horse is downright repulsive.
I once again laugh, thinking about which one of my roommates will fuck
her tonight.
And the drinking begins. We are all sitting at the dining room table. We
learn a whole bunch of irrelevant information about these girls. We
pretend to be interested. We seem like great guys. The horses love us
immediately. There is nothing gratifying about winning the affection of a
horse. The speed at which we are putting beers down at 8:45 on a
Monday is frightening. The horses are keeping up.
By 9:30 we've become restless. We continually check the blinds to make
sure no one can see in. The doors are locked, the lights are dimmed. We
turn our cell phones off. I am breaking a pact that we made that night.
No one will ever know about this, we swear to each other while the
horses take a piss together. No one will ever know until I tell the world
about it boys, ha ha ha ha. That's what you fucks get for not respecting
my authority.
Around 10PM we decide it is time to take this to the next level. Below is
straight out of Bobby Rios playbook for banging girls under twenty. It
must be done exactly in this order. Take notes!
Casual drinking
Speed up the drinking with flip cup
Pair off and speed up drinking even more with beer pong
When sufficiently drunk suggest the game, Never have I ever
Begin sexual talk
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11:45 am
The day began with a Powerbar, vitamins, water and a cool shower. I
contemplate putting in a few hours at the office. I quickly scratch that
idea. I throw a pair of jeans on and head to The Saloon for a beer.
12:30 pm
I am not the only one in the bar. Apparently there are other people who
use Memorial Day weekend as a way to justify drinking in the afternoon.
I make a friend with a guy next to me. He is almost 70. Now he wants to
tell stories. Here is some advice; never show even the slightest sign of
interest with old people. They will take it as an opportunity to spend the
next two hours spilling their guts about a life gone by. He is
approximately the 600th old man in a bar who tells me not to get
married. I am afraid that these old men have subliminally installed that in
my brain.
12:50 pm
I decide that I do not want to spend my Memorial Day weekend with the
kind of people who drink alone at the town pub. I call Gloria. Yes, I can
hear the people out there saying, But you only got her number last night
Bobby. Don't call so soon. These people have watched Swingers too
many times. It is a great movie, but if you wait six days to call a girl after
you get her number chances are she forgot you, buddy. The truth is when
you get good at this shit you start writing your own rules.
12:51 pm
Gloria answers. She knew it was me. An indicator that she already put my
number in her phone. We chat for a few minutes. I hang up the phone
and smile. I wonder how she is going to be in bed later.
1:15 pm
I call Phil. He is finally back from Vegas. He tells me he thinks one of the
hookers out there gave him the clap. I tell him he should give it to
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Penelope. Tell her you brought her a gift back. I get directions for some
land up in Warren County that he wants me to do an appraisal on.
2:30 pm
I pick up Gloria. Here is a hint. For your first date with a girl dont go the
standard coffee, dinner, drinks route. She has been on that date a
hundred times with a hundred guys. No, if you want to fuck her the first
night, unless she's a complete slut, youll have to be a little more creative.
Gloria is taking the ride with me up to Warren to help me assess Phil's
uncle's land. She had a little bit of the hippy chick thing going on and I
thought this would be a good way to get her juices flowing. Who knows,
maybe even fuck her in the woods.
3:00 pm
I have been in the car with her for thirty minutes and I have to say it's
been a pretty pleasant experience. I had put quite a few down at Bob's
party and was a little scared I might get a surprise when she answered the
door. But she is actually even hotter than I imagined. She's got long wavy
brown hair. Just kind of has that natural no make-up kind of beauty.
She's got to be in her late twenties. Maybe even thirty. There is a slight
hint of age twinkling in her eyes. It's sexy though.
3:35 pm
I have been doing a good job juggling the conversation between PG and
R. Every time I guide the conversation to edgier topics she bites right
away. Then I steer it back to neutral topics: work, friends, family, pop
culture gossip and just when the conversation hits a lull I throw out
things like: coworkers who fuck, the first guy she kissed, when we lost
our virginity, what celebrities we'd like to screw and just when I sense the
conversation has gotten too racy I bring it back to PG. Every time I
bring it back to R, I test her out and see if I can elevate it even further.
Each time I test her she bites and brings the conversation even racier.
Soon she is describing the first time she gave a guy road head. I started
seeing this conversation going in a very good direction. Unfortunately we
were about a minute from the land. I did not fret, if I blew my load this
early the rest of the day would be a waste. Here is another hint. The older
the girls the more willing she is too elevate the conversation. Younger
girls tend to be more naive when it comes to talking about this kind of
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stuff. The older ones eat this shit up. They are just as horny as you are,
and have very little tolerance for banal talk.
4:00 pm
Phil's uncle's land is pretty barren, actually. There is a tiny lake. There are
only a handful of trees scattered around. There is a small abandoned barn
looking house. I walk around taking pictures. I jot things down, although
this is only to make this trip seem a little more important. Like I'm a real
professional under my bad boy exterior. She sees through my bullshit and
calls me out again. Oh look how cute and professional you look.
Which was actually the look I was going for, but she said it with the
slightest hint of sarcasm. I put my clip board down. I pulled out the
camera. I told her to pose. That way all these boring pictures of barren
land will have something interesting to look at. I had her posing all over
the place in all kinds of positions. Fully clothed unfortunately. I
contemplated going for a naturalgirls.com photo shoot, but ultimately
decided against it. As cool as she seems, suggesting something like that
could freak a girl out if the rapport isnt as strong as you imagined. This
early in the day I was not going to take that chance. There will be a time
for that later.
4:15 pm
A pack of wild sheep stroll in from the field in the back of the property.
The look in Gloria's eyes when we see the sheep let me know that the
juices are officially flowing. I start snapping some pictures of them. Some
girls just get so damn turned on by nature. The Kino has begun. All day
hands were always brushing against each other, I was not shy about
touching her but now the touching was turning flirty. Hands were getting
left places longer. Rising higher lower. All the signs of an adventurous
afternoon were there. She suggests that we check out the inside of the
barn/house. I wonder if there is an abandoned bed in there. Boards are
over a door. Here is a hint. Use random opportunities like this to display
some alpha male characteristics. I don't mean be a meathead, you just
have to do those certain things women like to see men do. Caveman type
shit. Displaying raw power. So instead of giving up when I saw the bars
over the door, I made it a point to bust the fucking door in. It took a few
times and knocked quite a bit of wind out of me, but we got in that
house/barn. I grabbed her hand and we walked around for awhile. There
was a bed but it was decrepit looking and I'd have preferred the floor.
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I saw a room in the back that I decided would be the room. I got behind
her and guided her toward the door. I joked with her saying that
someone was behind the door waiting for us. She grabbed a hold of me,
as planned. Once you are at this stage use any excuse you can to get her
touching you. I kept nudging her toward the room chatting her up about
the crazy ax man behind the door. She kept getting closer and closer to
me until I could feel the warmth from under her jeans. We finally pushed
the door open basically falling into it. To our surprise though three hawklike birds came flying at our heads. It was definitely a buzz kill. My racing
heart and freaked out gestures definitely subtracted from some of that
alpha male I had displayed earlier. Oh well, I have a fucking fear of birds.
What can I tell you? Luckily she was even more freaked. She quickly
pulled me out of the room and out of the barn. I ask her if she left
because of the birds. She says sort of. She left because if the birds hadnt
of come she was about to do something I probably wouldnt respect her
for tomorrow. She's right, I probably wouldnt have. I dont say anything
though. Another hint, when a girl throws out a comment like; she's not
going to sleep with you tonight because she likes you or because you
won't respect her in the morning. Ignore it. Don't respond with anything.
A lot of times girls are just saying this shit to make themselves feel better
about what they are about to do. Let them rid themselves of the guilt, but
don't make the mistake of joining in the conversation because it won't
lead anywhere good.
4:45 pm
We are in the car on our way home. There is less talking then on the way
up. The silence is not uncomfortable. Don't always feel the need to keep
the conversation going. If the rapport is good enough you can enjoy the
silence together. Give her time to think about how cool you are and a
whole bunch of other reasons to justify fucking you later.
5:30 pm
We grab a quick bite to eat at a small Italian cafe near her house. Our
hands are in the middle of the table intertwined. She has gone googly
eyed on me. Normally this look scares me, but she just has this
confidence about her, such a sexy at ease way, that I found myself a little
flattered by the adulation. She is looking at me hard. She runs her hand
through my hair. She tells me I should let her cut my hair. I ask her if she
doesnt like my hair. She gives thumbs down. Then she laughs and says,
just kidding. But she would like to cut my hair. I am genuinely enjoying
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her company. Just thought I'd throw that in there so that you dont think
the only thing on my mind is sex. Yes, Bobby is all around pleased with
this one and gives her the Bobby Rio seal of approval.
5:50 pm
We are in the car on the way to her salon for a haircut. The place is
closed but she has a key, and is basically manager of the place, so no one
will mind. While I'm perfectly happy with my present haircut, when I was
a little kid I used to get so turned on when the shampoo girls breast
would brush against me during the wash that I couldnt resist the idea of
sitting in a chair watching her in the mirror. In the car ride I bring the
conversation back into R territory. I ask her if she gets turned on by the
toe polish scene in Bull Durham. She asks me if I want a pedicure at the
salon. I tell her I have a foot fetish. I can't tell if she realized I was
kidding. But the bait worked and she telling me about a scene in another
movie that turned her on.
6:15 pm
I am sitting in a chair at her salon. I have towel choked around my neck
and a restricting smock on. This is not as sexual as I imagined it would
be. She leans my head back into the sink and I wince when my neck
touches the cold stone of the sink. I look up and she is soaping up her
hands. She runs water over my head. She keeps touching the water and
asking me if it's warm enough. Finally her fingers start running through
my hair. I want to open my eyes and look up at her. She is sexually
massaging my scalp. She leaned into me and a titty brushed against me. I
am aroused. I wonder if I should try to hide this fact or leave it out in the
open and see if she catches it. I decide fuck it; and don't adjust. This rates
up there with a scalp massage I got from a pro in a termas in Rio a few
years back. No joke. I came from that scalp massage. Now Gloria's
massage was not going to make me cum, but it did make me pitch a tent
with my smock as I got up to walk over the other chair for the haircut.
6:17 pm
The hair cut has begun. I watch hair falling off my head. I wonder if it
will make things awkward if I hate my hair cut. I mean how am I
supposed to act if she really fucks it up? My attention is quickly diverted
from my haircut to the mirror where I watch as all of her attention is
focused on my head. I appreciate the enthusiasm in which she is doing
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her job. Which makes me wonder if I should tip her when she's done? I
decide she will get a tip. And then the whole thing.
6:19 pm
You are so fucking sexy; I tell her and really mean it. When you say
something like that to a girl; say it with all the confidence you can muster
up. Make her feel like the luckiest girl in the world to hear it. One good
compliment can melt away any defense she might have still had up. As
soon as I say this she drops the scissors. I spin myself around on the
chair so that I'm facing her midsection. We stare at each other for a
second, and then I pull her towards me. I smell her neck for a second
and then turn her face toward me and start kissing her. We are making
out hard.
I have no fucking clue what time it is pm
I stand up and push Gloria down into the chair. I get on top of her and
am kind of grinding into her. She is extremely turned on. I am extremely
turned on. She says we can't do it here, people can see in. Just when I
think I'm going to have to overcome another obstacle, she suggests we
go into the back room.
At this point I am about to indulge myself in the details, as they are fond
memories. If you are uncomfortable reading about my sexual exploits
you probably shouldnt continue.
In the back room there is a recliner chair where they do waxing and stuff.
I lay her down on the chair. She can't pause for a minute. She pulls me
into her. My mouth goes back in forth from her mouth to her neck. My
hands are running up and down her legs. I tease with crotch rubs. The
unbuckling begins. My mouth goes down to her belly button area. I help
her with her pants. I watch her wiggle out of them. No panties!!!! God I
love hippie girls. She's got the trademark hippie girl patch. Just enough
muff to keep with the natural girl image, but trimmed up enough to still
look edible. So I eat. She goes crazy.
I sense that she has come from the oral. She turns me over and is
practically ripping my jeans off of me. I do the lean back please me lean
and await my reward. She goes down on me and I am enjoying it way too
much. I pull her head up and tell her again how fucking sexy she is.
Another hint: That was only the second time I complimented her all
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night. Use compliments sparingly so that when you finally give them they
will be regarded higher.
I wiggle my boxer briefs from around my ankles stand up and push her
down on the chair. I am inside of her now.
This is truly some of the best sex I've had in awhile. There is a glorious
finale with an extremely satisfying cum. We are both breathless. Hint:
Guys even if she's the fuck off the century don't get all gushy telling her
how good it was or how much you like her. Lay there, put your arm
around, cuddle like you're really into (it helps when you are) and be
fucking silent. Trust me words are not necessary.
8:30 pm
I drop Gloria off. I know some guys would have asked her to spend the
night. I easily could have spent the rest of the night with her. I was really
enjoying the time with her. But you really have to wait to see where you
want to go with this before you start getting so close. If in a week you
decide you're not into them it is easier to start blowing them off. As
much as I am into Gloria she's a little old for daddy and probably won't
make the cut. But we'll see
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Snowballed
Written by Bobby Rio
Original Published: 01/21/2008
I was in the worst drought of my life at the time. I was fresh out of
college, and had just been dumped by the girl I thought I was going to
marry. My skills and confidence were at an all time low. But worst of
all I just fucking need to blow a load!!!
Some of my old college buddies were having a little get together at their
house and invited me. Although I tried to stay away from frat houses as I
was trying to make it in the real world the offer was just too tempting.
The thought of hot young drunk college girls was enough to persuade me
and my friend Jake to blow off work the next day and head out on a
Tuesday night to relive some former glory.
The party was less than spectacular. The mixer was with a subpar sorority
and the talent pool was slim. Still in a bit of a depression I proceeded to
drink myself silly. As the night started to wind down I got hungry. I mean
licking my chops, willing to fuck anything...hungry.
Jake was in no better shape than me. At one point we were standing
together sipping keg beer from our red cups when this sloppy fat chick
starts trying to dance with us. We jokingly sandwiched her and danced a
little, and whispered to each other that if all else fails we take her
upstairs and tag team her.
A few minutes later I noticed a chick that was cute (in relation to the
other pigs at the party) and I went over and started conversing with her.
In my drunken state I assumed we hit it off pretty well. Unfortunately my
game was pretty bad at this point and I just kept talking about nonsense
and wound up boring her to death. She excused herself to go to the
bathroom. I waited for her about ten minutes. When she didnt return, I
stalked her out like the hungry wolf that I was.
I found her upstairs making out with one of the younger frat brothers.
What was left of my confidence was officially shattered. I did the walk of
shame back downstairs. At this point there wasnt anybody downstairs so
I just plopped on the couch and waited for Jake so we could leave.
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A couple minutes later the fat girl from earlier walks in the front door. I
looked at this as a gift from god. I immediately got her on the couch.
Stroked her hair. Told her she was sexy. And a minute later I was lying
on a dirty couch making out with her. I am not going to lie and say she
had any redeeming qualities. She didnt. She had breath that made me
want to puke. But I kept kissing her and slowly slipping my hand down
her pants.
As luck would have it the door opens again and a handful of girls walk
into the house. These girls happened to be from my ex girlfriends
sorority. They looked at me in shock when they saw me lying on the
couch with the piglet. I just put my head down in shame. They were kind
enough to head upstairs without making conversation with me.
Once they left, I figured all my dignity was gone; I may as well finish the
deal. I told the piglet I would be right back and headed out to my car to
grab a condom. As I was walking outside Jake was walking back in the
house.
Yo, Ive got the fat girl inside half naked and ready to fuck I tell him.
If youre still down we can do her porn style
Dude, I was just with her behind the shed outside. She gave me a killer
blowjob, swallowed and everything Jake tells me.
I dont know if it was the 12 red cups of Bud Ice, the fact I got caught on
the couch with a fatty by my ex girlfriends whole sorority, or the
realization that I just made out with a piglet three minutes after she
swallowed my buddies cum.
But I started dry heaving uncontrollably, and finally went outside and
pulled the trigger blowing junks all over the front porch.
6 years later Jake is still asking me how his babies taste.
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drunk to give a shit at that point. After getting the evil eye from just
about everyone in the lobby, the three of us decided to go up to the
room, so Mike could roll a cigar that he and Tammy could smoke.
If youve listened to Mikes incessant coughing during our podcasts you
could probably tell that he is quite fond of the green stuff. Tammy was
just as big a fan, so when the two of them got together the entire room
was a giant cloud. I just sat there waiting for Mike to leave so that I could
get my grubby hands on Tammy.
Just as the two of them were finishing their second cigar there was a
pounding knock on the door. The three of us just froze. They both
looked at me to answer it as I was apparently the most sober. I peeked
through the little hole and saw a man in a suit standing next to a bald
security guard.
I let them knock another minute, while the three of just stared at each
other in disbelief. Finally I slightly opened the door and peaked out. The
bald guy pushed the door open, and the two of them entered the room.
The room is a cloud of smoke and the hotel manager starts harassing us
about the smell. Mike, Tammy, and I just shrug our shoulders, sniff
around, and pretend we dont smell anything. Then as the manager starts
looking around the room, Mike spots a dime bag on night table. He
casually tries to grab it without them seeing, but the bald security guard
catches him.
They demand to see what's in Mikes hand. Mike puts the bag in his right
hand, and shows them his left. Then switches the bag and shows them
his other hand. The men are not amused. They demand to see both
hands. The next thing I know Mike is barreling past them headed
towards the bathroom. The bald guy darts after him. Mike makes a
running dive toward the toilet, but the bald guy tackles him just as Mike
reaches his hand out to flush the bag. The bald guy takes the bag and
demands for all three of to sit on the bed. The hotel manager calls down
to the front desk and tells them to secure a police officer.
Mike starts pleading with them to not call the cops. They tell us that if he
hadnt been a wise ass, they would have let us go. But now the bald guy is
pissed. He is a corrections officer. He is reprimanding us sternly. Just as
he gets finished telling us how big scumbags we are, there is another
knock on the door. The hotel manager opens the door. It is our friend
Chris. The manager explains the situation and tells him to leave. Chris,
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1998
Buff is in the bedroom with Suzanne.
I know its coming. Ive got the nervous giggles.
Have you ever felt an instantaneous connection to someone? Like
maybe as youre sitting there looking at him a cord of light grows from
you to them Buffs voice is radiating from the bedroom.
At that very moment I know Buff is motioning with his hand from his
solar plex to hers.
I know what hes going to say next. I want to repeat it along with him.
And as that cord glows with the warm of that connection maybe you
can even imagine a time in the future
Im lipping along with him. Tracy is too drunk to notice. She flips over a
card and tells me I have to drink.
I sip my beer. Im waiting for Suzanne to burst out laughing. Buff
continues on
like six months from now still feeling that sense of connection
and looking back at tonight as having been the start of it.
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then pulled them out right as she climaxed she would reach new
orgasmic heights. Worth a shot, right?
Jillian wasnt thrilled with my new toy. She only mildly liked it when I did
her anal, and usually felt dirty about it afterwards. But I can be pretty
persuasive. I sold her on the "new orgasmic heights."
Things started out amusing enough with the beads. We tried them out in
her vagina first. In and out, in and out. As our session got steamier, I
started poking my finger around her ass trying to warm her up to it. She
squirmed a bit but soon enough Im digging away, and she likes it. I
take this as my cue to start sliding the anal beads in. They were still pretty
lubed up from her pussy juice, so they went in without a fight.
By this time, Im doing her pretty hard missionary. Ive got her legs
spread over her head. Wailing away. Jillian starts making her "Im going
to cum" face, so I reach under her ass and grab the ring and get ready to
yank.
Just as the two of us reach orgasm I pull the string in one quick flick of
the wrist.
She did a giant pelvic thrust but then flashed me a reassuring smile to
let me know she enjoyed.
I was a proud man.
That was until I looked down at the string in my hand.
The string which had five beads going in had come out with four.
I quickly tried to hide the string under the pillow. But my face must have
given it away. Jillian starts asking, "What's wrong?"
"One of the balls didnt come out" I tell her.
She jumps up and grabs the string from under the pillow. It is obvious
that the bead slipped over the last knot.
She starts panicking. She reaches her hand around to her ass and starts
holding her anus open while jumping up and down. I pray the bead will
pop out. It doesnt.
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If you remember from previous mentions of Jillian, she wasnt the most
mentally stable girl. She starts hyperventilating. Shes screaming, "You
better get this fucking thing out of my ass."
I say, "Maybe you should try taking a shit."
She looks like shes going claw my face off. I get behind her and start
prodding around. I want to reach in, but I am afraid Ill just push it back
further.
Now shes crying so loud I cant concentrate.
I say "Maybe we should go to the Health Center on campus. See if they
have any suggestions."
I take from her reaction that wasnt an option.
I calm her down enough to walk her into the bathroom. I sit her naked
body on the toilet and tell her to push like she constipated push like
shes trying to get a baby out.
She starts pushing. Shes making some nauseating faces and I have to
leave the room.
The grunts and growls that were coming out the bathroom would have
scared small children.
After a few minutes they stop.
"I feel it" she screams.
I open the door and peak in. Jillian has her ass raised above the bowl and
is shaking it violently. But nothing is falling out.
"It's right there. I can feel it. Look and see if you can see it."
She kneels down over the bowl and lunges her ass into the air. I take my
two fingers and pry apart her anus.
"Push" I tell her.
She begins pushing, grunting, and growling all over again.
Miraculously the little purple bead appears but just as Im about to
grab it her anus closes shut and sucks it back in.
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8:40 pm
My dick is in my left hand my right hand is fumbling through the
medicine cabinet for some kind of lube Im squatting over the toilet,
my mind trying to hold a fantasy long enough to rub one out. But just
outside the door there are seven different Spanish voices continually
reminding me that my time in the bathroom is limited. I float different
pictures through my mind first, one of my girlfriends cousins Anna
and her big fake titties then Sofia and her rebellious tomboy attitude
but the noise is just too distracting.
8:44
Ive finally got some momentum going. I start unrolling some toilet paper
to finish into Bobby, cmon other people need to use the bathroom
my girlfriend shouts in
Everything is fucked. My dick goes limp.
I give up.
9:05
My girl gives me a little peck on my lips. The most action Ive gotten all
week in this chastity ward of an apartment. Thats what happens when
you cram 9 people into a three bedroom apartment. Privacy is
nonexistent.
I pull her close and grind my hard-on into her. She rolls her eyes and tells
me no. I finish putting on my shirt. She tells me not to be so grumpy and
that I better have a good time tonight. I beg one last time A goodbye
blow jobplease?
9:25
Im in the backseat of Sofias car and Im trying to calculate just how old
she is. Sofia could be 25 or 40 and I wouldnt be surprised. And normally
I wouldnt have cared much. But Im thinking now the older she is
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10:02
Jim calls over an old fatty. I assume he is trying to hook me up with
her I give him the thumbs down.
Jim introduces me to the fatty his wife.
Im a little embarrassed by my blunder, but nothing another shot of
Aguardiente wont cure. I pour the three of us shots and we gulp them
down.
10:11
I turn to Sofia. I want to make conversation. I try but its useless. Its
too loud to deal with language barriers. She takes my hand and leads me
to the dance floor.
Things get ugly quick on the dance floor. My lack of rhythm is apparent.
Sofia not wanting to be seen dancing with the gringo pawns me off on
her sister. Her sister wants to play dirty. She doesnt know daddy. She
doesnt know how dirty I can get.
10:13
Pretty soon Ive made both of us uncomfortable. My constant humping
of her leg and staring at her tits has seemingly offended her I put my
tail between my legs and head back to the table.
10:14
I get back just in time for another shot.
10:16
There are a few new faces at our table. Some young girls that cant be
older than sixteen. I start to wish I Googled the age of consent down
here. For all intensive purposes Ill assume its sixteen. I fumble for the
bottle and begin pouring another shot. Sofia grabs my arm and tells
me in her adorable broken English to slow down or I get too crazy
Shes probably right but Im past the point of reason. I fill a few
glasses and try to hand the sixteen year olds shots. They shake their
fingers no. I push the glasses toward them again.
10:18
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Jim sees me trying to make conversation with the girls and comes over to
us. He looks at the group of girls and nods at me. I give him two big
thumbs up.
10:19
He introduces me to the sixteen year old his daughter.
Before I have time to explain he tells me to dance with his daughter.
He actually pushes us closer together. I look back at him over my
shoulder now he gives me the thumbs up.
As we are dancing Jim comes up behind his daughter and sandwiches her
against me. She is in the middle of us and Im grinding lower and lower
with her. Jim seemingly pleased heads back to the table and leaves me
and his daughter alone.
10:22
Time for a piss break.
10:25
I regroup in the bathroom.
...it's a moral test of yourself, whether or not you can maintain loyalty.
Because when you can be loyal thats meaningful So youre going to
go out there drink your drink be friendly not too friendly, and
then youre going go home and jerk off. And thats all youre going to do.
Yea right!!!
This is where things get blurry.
Here are the definite memories I have:
Gulping down another four or five shots of Aguardiente
Jims daughter shaking her finger no as I try to lick her ear
Jims fat wife pulling me off her daughter and then scolding her
daughter in public
Here are the fuzzy memories I have:
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11:40
My girlfriend wakes me up and tells me that I have to get dressed for her
friends wedding. She asks me What the hell happened last night
11:53
I do the walk of shame to the bathroom. When I expose myself from the
room the entire family starts mocking me in Spanish. They are nice
about it but are openly amused. All I can think about was how
pronounced the shrinkage was.
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The first step you need to take to improve any area of your life is
determining your desired outcome. The title of this series is 31 Days to
Better Game but better game has a different meaning for everyone
reading this. In order to fully experience and appreciate the lessons youll
receive over the next 31 days you need to have a clearly defined end
result.
Having a clearly defined end result means knowing exactly where you
want to be 31 days from now. How will you look after youve achieved
better game? How will you act? What kind of girls will you be dating?
Sleeping with? What will a day in your life look like once youve got this
area of your life mastered? How will you feel? What kind of thoughts will
be running through your mind?
These are all questions that you cannot ignore. This step is more
important than any lesson you will learn from here on out.
If you have had difficulty with talking to women, managing a
relationship, building attraction... or any other area of your life until
you develop a clearly defined goal for yourself your mind will continue
producing the same results youve always gotten.
Have you read the book The Secret? Or how about Real Magic? Or
Think and Grow Rich? These three books (if read and implemented
correctly) are worth their weight in gold.
These three books all explore the ancient principle that your mind will
create whatever reality you present it. This means that if you consistently
think of the lack in your life (of women, money, and friendship) the
universe will continue to provide you a life of lack. But if you train your
mind to see abundance (of women, money) the universe will provide you
a life of abundance.
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If this sounds new age and hokey wait a minute. I felt the same way
years ago when I was presented with this concept. But Im going to safely
say that it is magic.
I want all of you reading this to put aside your personal opinions and
judgments and reservations. I want you to trust me to give this a chance.
Your Homework
Everyone reading this needs to set aside one hour in a quiet place. Take a
pen and paper with you. You need to close your eyes and spend the next
thirty minutes visualizing yourself as your Ideal Self. Imagine clearly what
you will look like, feel like, and act like once youve mastered this area of
your life.
As you run this image through your mind, pay attention to the way you
walk, the way your voice sounds, the thoughts running through your
mind, visualize yourself in the company of the woman you want to be
with. Clearly imagine the women and note the way you interact with
them.
After youve spent about thirty minutes just completely immersed in this
new you stop your visualizations and grab your pen and paper. Now I
want you to write the most descriptive, thought out, clearly defined,
summary of this new you. Write everything in the present tense. For
example, suppose in your mind you saw yourself surrounded by a set of
beautiful women and they were all laughing and having a good time
you would write I am confident around large groups of beautiful
women and easily create enjoyable conversation while building
attraction. If during your visualization you saw yourself having
unbelievable sex with a perfect 10, write I am having sex the girl Ive
desired and so on.
The idea here is to create a blueprint of the life you want. It needs to be
as detailed as possible. It needs to be filled with emotions and feelings.
You need to read this piece of paper and be instantly transported into
that reality.
Next
Every morning when you awaken take out that piece of paper and read
it a few times to yourself. Then close your eyes imagine this reality. See
your ideal self. See your ideal life.
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The entire time you're visualizing this life let your mind go. You will be
tempted to let your negativity and doubt creep in and tell you this isnt
possible... or remind yourself of your shortcoming or flaws Clear your
mind of the negativity and focus solely on ideal life.
Throughout the day try to remember to keep your self- talk in the
positive. Even if you deviate from your ideal self in your current
reality, continue to talk to yourself positively. I am always meeting and
attracting new interesting girls.
Every night before you go to bed; repeat the ritual of the morning. Lay
there holding that image (with feeling) firmly in your mind. See if so real
that it feels like you're dreaming.
I want each and everyone one of you to do this for one month. Dont
slack. Im not asking much. There is no hard work involved. Im not
asking you to approach 10 sets a night. Im just asking you to spend a
half an hour in the morning, and a half an hour in the evening visualizing
the life you want.
At the end of the 31 days I want feedback on this exercise I only want
feedback from those of you that followed it every day exactly as Ive
stated. The rest of you can keep your excuses I dont want to hear them.
Those that choose to follow this I know that I will be hearing
miraculous stories!
If you want some further reading on this subject I highly recommend
reading The Secret
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Day 2
Developing Inner Game
Written by Cajun
Originally Published: 06/12/2008
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Day 3
Updating Your Look
Written by Bobby Rio
Originally Published:06/13/2008
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After youve improved upon the areas of your appearance that need
some work it's time to update your wardrobe. I am not a firm believer
in peacocking in the sense that Mystery and Style teach. But I do believe
in using clothes and accessories as a way to attract positive attention.
More importantly is dressing in a way that promotes your self confidence.
If youve got little or no sense of fashion than read through our mens
fashion articles here at the site. Weve had a couple fashion consultants
contributing articles to make your choices easier. If youre still looking
for more advice than I would recommend purchasing Brad Ps Fashion
Bible.
If you still have questions regarding how to go about updating your life
you might find an article I wrote for my How to Be Popular in High
series helpful. Although the article was geared toward high school
students there is advice on creating your image that can be applied to all
age groups. The article also talks about creating a presence and takes
quite a bit from the classic article The 7 Elements of Charisma.
Todays Homework
Today you need to make the necessary changes to present your best self.
No matter what area of your physical appearance (if any) needs an
overhaul there is more than enough information contained in this lesson
to get you well on your way.
Remembers just because Looks only matter so much you shouldnt use
that as an excuse to be lazy about your appearance. Would you be
attracted to a girl who isnt doing her best to present herself to you?
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Day 4
Always be Advertising
Written by Bobby Rio
Originally Published: 06/16/2008
In a common sales office 10% of the salesmen make 90% of the money.
Is it because they are that much better salesman? No. Its because a
successful salesman is constantly marketing himself while the other 90%
do their 9-5 in the office and call it a day.
The biggest mistake most guys tend to make while trying to improve
their game is they think that it only counts when they are at a bar or club.
They read books, study lines, learn to be alpha but they sit in their
house all week waiting for the weekend to practice game.
I spent this weekend with AFC Adam Lyons from Pua Training in New
York. If I had to name the most inspiring thing I got out of the weekend
it was Adams ability to always be on. Adam made the comment
several times that he is game. And hes right.
No matter who he was talking to he was projecting the same charismatic
personality. He didnt wait until heading to the clubs at night to go into
game mode. He lived, breathed, and slept game.
Does that mean all you should care about is game? Hell no. It just means
that everything you learn needs to be implemented at all times.
Always dress to impress. Always be chatting up strangers. Always be
opening sets. Always strive to make your conversations memorable.
Always be presenting your best self.
A lot guys wonder how come some nights it is so hard to get in state.
It is so hard for them because all week theyve created a pattern of bad
posture, poor tonality, boring conversation, approach anxiety, and AFC
tendencies. then they expect to miraculously be the life of the party
come Saturday night.
Every lesson that you learn throughout these 31 days needs to become a
new habit in your life. If youve just read an article about flirting; start
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flirting immediately. I dont care if you have to flirt with your sixty year
old neighbor. you need to always be reinforcing these skills.
Once you get in the habit of always reinforcing the skills youve been
learning, you will find that it becomes a lot easier to get in state since
you will be spending most of your time in the right frame of mind.
More importantly though, is that you will find, like the most successful
salesmen, that the best leads come when you least expect it. If youre
always on youll find that youll naturally be attracting more women
into your life. Your co-workers who used to ignore you will be asking
you to come hang out with them. The counter girl at your local bank will
be dropping you IOIs.
Always leave the house expecting to meet the girl of your dreams.
Because you just dont know when you will bump into her.
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Day 5
Being High Status
Written by Mack Tight
Originally Published: 06/17/2008
I was reading Bobbys recent post Never Show Emotion When She
Walks Away and all I could think was could that dude make it any
more obvious that he was low status?
Let me explain
When you think of high status males who do you think of?
Donald Trump George Clooney Kobe Bryant your favorite
politician
Now if any of these guys had an attractive girl make out with them and
run off would they set around and pout like a tit baby about it?
Fuck no
They are flooded by a large quantity of attractive women in their life
and even if you temporarily took away their money, clothes, cars and
made them wear a disguise; any woman would still be able to read that
they are high status within minutes of meeting them by the way they talk,
act and by their body language.
In Wisconsin we deer hunt and my Dad always told me to never cough
because a deers hearing is much better than a humans
Well a womans status senses are far superior to a mans.
Now you might ask why status is so important to women.
Because with high status comes most of the traits women desire in
men like security, power, wealth, fame, social acceptance and notoriety.
Not only will landing a guy like that make her life better, it will make the
life of her kids better and even make her friends jealous and envious.
yes, women are actually very competitive with each other but in more
subtle ways than men
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Day 6
How to be a Good Flirt
Written by Christian Hudson
Originally Published 06/18/2008
I was a very boring guy until I turned about 22. My interests used to lie
exclusively in history, economics and business, and while this proved an
asset in my talks with adults,,I was completely stilted when youd throw
me into a bar full of people my age. I thought that, somehow, once a girl
sensed how deep and concerned about the real world I was, she was
bound to be attracted to me. Needless to say, I wasnt exactly a huge hit
around the college bars in Ann Arbor, MI.
The inability to be fun and flirtatious is one of the most common
problems that men face when theyre learning to get better with women.
To this day, it is issue number one amongst the clients with whom I
work. While they may have some approach anxiety, it is not necessarily
because they are afraid of getting rejected, so much as it is that they are
worried the conversation will flatten out and get boring. Theres nothing
worse than a girl who, initially, seems to be enjoying her time with you,
only to see her attention wane as the conversation starts to get, well,
lame.
If youve ever been talking to a woman and thought to yourself, man,
Im even boring myself! then you know exactly what Im talking about
here.
A flat conversation is one without any spark, emotion, surprise it is
how you might communicate with your lawyer or your professor. And
listen, if you never learned to communicate any other way, thats fine
youre in the company of many other men. But lets learn how to flirt,
and add some much-needed texture to the conversation.
Flirting is conversational play. Its two people talking about anything
they want (it definitely does not need to be logical) and pushing,
pulling, surprising and rewarding each other. Flirting is YOU and HER
your personality and hers sharing some basic information and making it
more fun. I like to think of it as taking a flat note, hitting it with a bend,
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Day 7
Simple steps for Successfully Approaching and
Opening Women
Written by Bobby Rio
Originally Published: 06/19/2008
I think most guys are waiting for some new pick- up artist to come out
with an innovative, fail proof, guaranteed to work opening line to say to a
woman. Dont hold your breath.
An opener is just the first thing you say to start an interaction. Yes,
ideally it will make her laugh, make you look cool, and create
conversation that just flows from it.
But the fact is; there is no perfect opener. But there are perfect ways to
approach and deliver your opening line.
The best approaches are spontaneous. BAM! You see a woman you want
to talk to an immediately initiate a conversation. The reason these
approaches are the best is because very little thought is going into the
interaction. The less thought out and planned an interaction is the more
natural and relaxed you will appear.
Once you start scanning your mind for things to say it's over. Youre
mentally in the wrong state.
This is why in the beginning a lot of coaches recommend using canned
openers. Personally, I recommend having a couple canned openers ready
for different situations but I would keep them simple (hey, are you
guys friendly?..) and stay away from the classic Mystery or Strauss who
lies more or what 80s pop duo should I name my dog after? Ive
found that guys who are using these elaborate canned openers are getting
stuck in routine mode and not going on to develop natural conversation
skills. But that's just my opinion.
When it comes to opening girls Ive found that several things will make
all the difference.
1. Proximity. The easiest girls to talk to are the ones you're standing
closest to. Most of the times these girls will be expecting you to open
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them. As you walk into a venue scan the room for the best possible spot.
You dont want to be the guy doing laps all night with the hungry look
on his face.
2. Spontaneous. The best approaches feel spontaneous. That is the
beauty of the three second rule. If youve entered a bar, and youre in the
proximity to a couple girls you want to talk to- open them immediately.
The longer you wait the more awkward it's going to be. Even if you just
say you girls look like youre ready for a fun night give them cheers
with your glass and then go back to talking to your friend. Now theyre
opened. Open as many people around you as quickly as you can. This
will put you in the right frame of mind. (And build social value)
3. Body Language- The reason spontaneous approaches work the best
is because your body language doesnt have time to get all weird and up
tight. Because the approach was spontaneous you will be sending off
really natural body language. You want to make sure your body language
conveys the image that this interaction carries no excess value to you.
You also want to present the image that you could turn and walk away at
any time.
4. Stay Fun- Once youve approached and opened girls keep a really fun
vibe. I see too many guys open a girl with a funny line then
immediately go into interview mode. Once youre in interview mode
she knows youre hitting on her, and is probably bored. Youre better off
staying playful for awhile.
5. Know when to eject and when not to- If you open a girl and the
whole time youre talking to her shes fumbling with her cell phone and
avoiding eye contact dont waste your time. On the other hand, if you
get a tad resistance; don't prematurely eject. You have to differentiate
between a girl who visibly giving you signals of disinterest and the girls
that just take a little more work. Remember not all girls are super
outgoing some girls need a little prying before they open up.
I hope that these tips help next time youre out. There are entire books
on approaching but sometimes it's the simplest advice that is most
practical and easy to implement.
Bobby
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Day 8
Improving Your Conversation Skills
Written by Bobby Rio
Originally Published: 06/20/2008
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Well arent the most satisfying times in life the times you feel that
adrenaline? It's like when you think of your most memorable vacation
it probably wasnt a vacation you sat in a beach chair sipping Pina
Coladas... It was probably one where you challenged yourself a bit
Haha, yes being stuck in France not speaking a word of the
language... out of money
Oh... that sounds like a good story... do tell!
See how the conversation is naturally flowing from one thread to
another? After she spoke a bit about her adventure in France I told her
about my first time in Brazil, and explained the emotion I felt of being
lost on this entirely different continent, and how it almost brings you
back your childhood when things were still new and you had that
desire to explore.
We were able to smoothly transition from Do you live in the City? to
having a detailed conversation about our most adventurous vacations.
The key to being a good conversationalist is to keep your ears open for
hooks. A hook is something she says that you can use to extend the
conversation. If youre listening to her youll notice a new hook every
time she opens her mouth. When she told me she just moved here from
Iowa a month ago she gave me three hooks to work off of. (Leaving
Iowa, arriving in NY, her first month here) Each time she gives you a
hook you should relate it back to her establishing a connection.
The biggest mistakes guys make is turning the conversation into an
interview take the conversation above and see how easily it could have
headed into interview mode:
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See how easily the conversation could have turned into a high pressured
interview if I hadnt used what she gave me and related it back to her.
You also want to stay away from try hard relating. This is where
everything she says you try to find away to immediately relate to it.
me: Really, I have a friend who went there on vacation last year.
What do you do?
her: Im a stockbroker.
In the example above youre wasting valuable hooks by trying to fill the
air with pointless banter about yourself. Who cares that your friend went
there on vacation?
The proper way to handle a hook is to relate it back to her. This is
actually a technique I learned from Richard La Ruinas book The Natural
Art of Seduction where he talks about taking things deeper. Here is an
example from my conversation of how I took things deeper.
her: It was this time in France when I was dead broke, didnt
speak the language, and alone for two days wondering around
Paris.
me: So you must have felt both the thrill and fear of complete
anonymity. So what does one do when they know no one will
find out?
See how I acknowledged the emotion that she must have been feeling.
This simple acknowledgement let her know that: 1. I was really listening
to her. 2. That I was able to empathize and understand her. 3. That I was
genuinely curious to know what one does when they know no one is
watching.
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Once youve acknowledged what she has given you it is alright to relate
the story to yourself. Because now she knows that youre on the same
playing field. She knows that youre not superficially trying to relate
This is a conversational strategy you should take on no matter who you
are talking to. Many of us have old habits that were going to have to
break. The easiest way to break an old habit is to consistently implement
a new one.
Instead of waiting for attractive girls to practice this new conversational
strategy I would suggest practicing it with your friends, family, and coworkers. Practice picking out the hooks these people are giving you, and
then practice acknowledging the hooks. If you get in this habit you will
naturally become a better conversationalist.
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Day 9
How to Build Comfort with a Girl
Written by T
Originally Published: 06/23/2008
Social Superstar
its not the end of the world. And that alone is important. Then youll
want to get used to observing and interpreting body language. Then you
need to focus on using your body language to convey the alpha male
impression you want to convey. Once you get used to doing your daily
daytime drills and getting comfortable starting and maintaining
conversations with women, youll see your bar or nightclub game
improve dramatically.
Nightlife Comfort
Since this article is supposed to be about building comfort, Im not going
to focus on openers and how to start conversations with women. There
are plenty of other articles out there about that. Im going to focus on
how to build comfort with a woman once youre already in conversation
with her.
First, never sound desperate to please. Be cocky, be playful, and tease her
like shes your little sister. Make her laugh, but never at your own
expense. Dont use self-deprecating humor. Avoid it at all costs. There is
one exception to the self-deprecating humor rule: you can use selfdeprecating humor if its blatantly insincere and actually points out one of
your strengths: for example, if you have an athletic, muscular physique,
you can joke about what a 95 lb. weakling you are. It works great because
(a) its genuinely funny when done right and (b) it points out one of your
strengths yet comes off less obnoxious and approval-seeking than
outright bragging. But outside of that exception, avoid self-deprecation
or anything that lowers your status.
Second, dont apologize for who you are and dont be afraid to offend,
because both those tendencies are obstacles to building comfort. When
many guys come across a pretty woman, the anxiety kicks in and they
start getting flustered easily. Then they start over apologizing. A woman
busts their balls a little bit and they backtrack or apologize immediately.
They are so afraid of not getting her approval that they almost beg for it.
Dont do it. Dont apologize. Stick to your guns. Of course use your
discretion; if you step on her foot or spill a drink on her, then you should
apologize. Apologizing for your actions is the right thing to do under
some circumstances. Apologizing for who you are and what you believe
however is a no-no.
Ill give an example of this. A friend of mine, Beethoven, recently
approached two women at a bar. The conversation started out well
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enough, but at some point one of the girls asked Beethoven what he and
his friends were discussing earlier. Beethoven responded We were just
discussing how many fat girls there are here tonight. His targets jaw
dropped and she was absolutely mortified. She said Thats not very
nice and seemed disgusted. But Beethoven stuck to his guns, didnt
backtrack and didnt apologize. He just looked her up and down and said
Whatever, why does it bother you? Its not like you have anything to
worry about looking the way you do and just kept going with the
conversation. If he apologized, instead of making the situation better, it
would have just highlighted the awkwardness, which would have made
her uncomfortable, and even worse, put her in a position of dominance,
which would make her lose respect for him. Not only did he turn that
potential negative into a positive, he ended up hooking up with her.
Women do not respect a man they can easily dominate or make
uncomfortable, and if they do not respect you, they will feel
uncomfortable around you. By never sounding desperate to please and
never apologizing for who you are, you earn their respect and set the
foundation for building more comfort.
Third, know when to stop negging and teasing so much. Sometimes
when guys get really good at the negging and teasing and see the initial
results it gets them, they go overboard and do it for too long. And then it
goes from being cute and charming to just smug, annoying and dickish.
Once you start winning a woman over and she is warming up to you, she
is going to want to start getting to know you and building rapport with
you. If you just keep negging and teasing at the same level you were when
you first started building comfort with her, you risk coming off as a real
obnoxious prick. You should keep playful tone and never stop teasing
totally, but you do want to dial it down as you build more and more
rapport with the girl. And you never, ever want to tease a girl about a
topic related to her core values. If shes heavily into church, dont mock
religion. If she is passionate about fashion and works in the field, dont
mock her chosen field as frivolous or stupid. If shes passionate about
politics and is involved in certain causes, dont tease or playfully insult
her favorite cause or ideology. Good rule of thumb is to be careful about
negging about political stances, chosen careers and religious beliefs, as
these tend to represent a persons core values and insulting these, even
playfully, often does more harm than good
Fourth, move around from place to place, even if its within the bar or
club. For some reason, changing locations gives the psychological
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impression that you are spending more time together and bonding more.
The more locations a woman associates with you, the more time she feels
like shes spent with you and the more comfortable she feels. Its an
illusion, really, but it works. For example, if within a bar, lead her to a
spot at the bar and order drinks. Take her to another end of the bar and
introduce her to some your friends. 10 minutes later take her to some
couches to sit down. If you know how to dance, take her to the dance
floor later. Then go to another part of the bar. As with anything, dont
overdo it. You dont want to come off as hyperactive and spastic and
moving around every 30 seconds. Moving around from venue to venue
also helps build comfort, such as going from one bar to a second bar to
lounge to a dinerbouncing around like that gives the psychological
impression to a girl that shes just spent three or four mini-dates with you
and shell feel more comfort with you than if you spent that exact same
amount of time talking to her rooted to one spot.
Fifth, make sure to touch her whenever you can. In the pickup
community they call it Kino, but its something my friend and I always
made sure to do before we ever knew what it was called. A conversation
will get stale quickly and turn into the foundation for a friend zone
relationship if you never touch her during the conversation. Light, playful
touching conveys sexual interest and builds attraction and sexual tension,
which are very important when building comfort. If you build comfort
without building attraction at the same time, youve just guaranteed
yourself a place in the friend zone. Im not going to go into the specifics
of playful touching here, but you can find tons of Kino-related articles by
Bobby and Mike right here on the TSB Magazine Im sure. Getting the
balance of touching just right so that you dont come off either too timid
or too aggressive takes some trial and error, but its not that hard.
Sixth, while its cool to playfully bring up sex, do not dwell too deeply
into conversation about ex's (hers or yours) and specific approaches
toward sex. These things can backfire too easily if you dont know what
youre doing. With ex-es, it can end up being a light, harmless
conversation. But theres also the risk that she may end up talking about
him at length and getting nostalgic about him and talking about how
much she still loves him, and suddenly the attraction mood is dead and
youre on the road to becoming her emotional tampon as she drones on
and on about how much feelings she has for him. Or on the flip side, she
may have a lot of unresolved anger toward him, may start venting and
getting worked up and then start transferring her issues with her ex
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specifically and men in general toward the next closest male target, who
in this case would be you. I made this mistake with a woman once;
thinking that making her talk about her shitty ex would be a great way to
sell myself as a positive alternative. Instead I spent the night fielding
angry questions about why guys cheat; why guys fear commitment, why
guys hurt womenI ended up being her convenient target for everything
she hated about men. Needless to say, it wasnt a great comfort-building
conversation.
And regarding bringing up specific approaches toward sex, heres an
example of how that can backfire. Unlike men, womens attitudes change
wildly with their emotional states. With men, to change their minds you
must change their logic. With women, to change their minds you must
change their emotions. If a woman hasnt built much attraction and
comfort with you yet and you ask her what her attitude is about how
soon is too soon to have sex, youll get a totally different answer than you
would if you asked her that same question later on when you have her on
an emotional high. By asking her such a specific sexual questions too
early before shes built comfort and rapport with you, shell be very
cognizant about coming off like a slut to a guy she barely knows and may
say something like I dont have sex with a guy until three or four
months of dating, and I have to get to know him very well first. Now
that youve made her explicitly give a sexual timetable, its going to
mentally psyche you out and make you behave less aggressively in your
comfort building. Youll start believing you have no shot of building
much comfort anytime soon. And on her end, now that shes verbally
committed to that, even if she gets insanely attracted and comfortable
with you later in that same conversation, shes going to feel obligated to
stick to her original conservative statement for fear of looking like a
hypocrite or liar. Meanwhile, if you never asked about sex at all things
could have happened much more spontaneously.
As I mentioned before, this isnt an exhaustive list when it comes to
building comfort, but I think its a pretty good foundation. Hope it helps
some of you out there.
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Day 10
Being Funnier Make it fun!
Written by Barry Kirkey
Originally Published: 06/24/2008
Every woman likes a positive man, and often, positivity takes the form of
a good sense of humor. The problem with giving anyone advice about
how to become funnier, is that humor is universally subjective. Meaning,
every culture, sub-culture or individual decides what is funny on their
own. Yeah there are exceptions, people can be told by popular media
what they think is funny, but youre not one of those people because
youre reading this article.
Here are some things you can do to become funnier, in chronological
order:
First, find out what you like. A sense of humor is as unique as your own
DNA (simile). They are usually a complex combination of joke types,
body language, interest in shows/movies, and so forth. This step should
normally be a no-brainer, but youd be surprised at how so many people
dislike comedy.
Once you find out what you like, expose yourself to it. Watch those
shows and movies that you love. Watch them alone or with friends and
family. Learn how to laugh out loud when you watch them, even if youre
by yourself. I would caution you, however, not to force it down,
meaning if youre not in the mood to watch a comedy show (sitcoms, late
night, etc.) then dont watch it. If you have the problem of never being in
the mood then you need to find out why this is the case.
Note:
If youre never in the mood to laugh, you may have other issues that are keeping you
down. I suggest you speak to a psychologist, doctor or other professional that can
determine why your mood is always down. You might be surprised to learn about what
prevents you from doing what you love. This can be something as serious as depression
or anxiety. However, it can also mean that youre still, subconsciously, dealing with
unresolved matters in your life (such as, a fight with your dad 6 months ago and you
havent talked to him since).
After enough exposure, youre ready to take it to the field. Try to avoid
copying other jokes directly those Borat impressions are no longer
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funny, so dont do them. Unless youre a naturally funny guy then you
can get away with it, but thats a whole different article. If you must copy,
use a variation of what youve learned instead. For example, if you want
to do a Seinfeld joke, dont just start quoting the show. Do your worst
and most annoying Seinfeld voice and exaggerate a Seinfeld-type joke as
much as you can. Make it ridiculous and unexpected.
While all this is going, laugh at your own jokes. Laugh as much as you
can and absorb the criticism of others by laughing even more. Heres
why: Laughing is infectious. The more you laugh, the more others around
you are likely to laugh as well.
Not only that, but lets consider the whole theory of conditioning by
association. If youre consistently around the same people, doing jokes
often, and laughing often, people will associate you with laughter. When
this happens, youve won the game youre known as the funny guy.
But Mr. fuckface (me)! How do I use this to get girls!?
Just by statistics, most people end up in quality relationships through
other people that you already know (i.e., in the office, friend of a friend
or family member). So you get the immediate benefit of being the
funny guy in your own social circle that way.
But Mr. faggittface (me)! What about girls you dont know?!
Okay, thats definitely more difficult, but not impossible. With cold
approaches, first impressions are the only thing you have, so make it
count. Start off with the best jokes you have, make sure you laugh and
you smile. If she looks down on you, make a friendly insult, wow
someone dropped their funny basket in the toilet today! and walk on to
the next person.
If you end up forced into a situation with someone who doesnt respect
your humor then this is particularly challenging, because you can
potentially make an enemy without knowing it. Similar to what happened
with Darth Vador, its difficult to turn someone from being your enemy
to your friend, but not impossible. I wont go into this situation now,
because that is a discussion for those who are already polished and
comfortable with their own sense of humor
Dun dun dun! Anal.
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Day 11
Mastering the Art of Push-Pull and Cocky-Funny
Written by The Asian Rake
Originally Published: 06/25/2008
Do You Want Faster and More Powerful Seductions? How the 80/20 Principle
applies to Push-Pull and Cocky-Funny?
Weve all heard about the 80/20 principle first developed by Vilfredo
Pareto in the context of the distribution of income and wealth. My
experience and observations have shown that the 80/20 rule applies just
as well to push-pull and cocky-funny.
After closely observing naturals who are masters at crazily rapid
escalations and seductions, and after a lot of discussions with PUAs who
have really tight game, Ive discovered an important enhancement to the
simplistic push-pull and cocky-funny concepts. This small bit of finetuning can shave a lot of time off your seductions and create much
stronger, closer emotional connections.
Heres my thesis statement (yes, Im an academic, lol): If you want to
seduce a woman faster and have her more powerfully attracted to you,
the optimal mix for a man who already has his fundamentals down (his
body language, tonality, and basic inner game) and is interacting with a
confident and attractive woman is 80% pull, 20% push.
Im not going to be too strict about the numbers. But more accurately,
the optimal combination depends on how good the mans fundamentals
are and how confident the woman is. Its a continuum with the upper
end of the continuum being 80-20 pull-push.
My experience has also been that pull-push is best mixed with humor.
Plus, the pull and the push are opposite manifestations of cockiness.
With push, you are cocky enough to think that you are too good for the
girl, so you push her away. With pull, you are cocky enough to think that
you are irresistible to her and to women in general, and you want her, so
you pull her in.
Although there is plenty to say about this combination of push-pull and
cocky-funny, Ill leave that to another article. My focus here is on the
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80/20 principle applied to the push-pull dynamic. Ill assume here that
its obvious that push-pull is closely connected to cocky-funny.
For the classic book on push-pull, see Swingcats ebook, Real World
Seduction. For cocky-funny, the best authority is David DeAngelo.
Check out his ebook, Double Your Dating, and his DVD series, Cocky
Comedy. I assume at least familiarity with push-pull and cocky-funny as
described in these resources. Christian Hudson and Nick Sparks over at
The Social Man are about to release a product that incorporates all the
concepts in Swingcat and David D.s books and then takes it all to
another level. Watch at their site for the release. Were good friends, so
Im a little biased, but you can go over there and check it out for yourself:
What I say here is NOT for absolute newbie's, who dont yet have their
fundamentals down (body language, tonality, and basic inner game). If
you still dont know what good BL&T looks, sounds, and feels like, stop
reading this and figure that out first.
My point here applies to elite game. Its for guys who want to know what
its like to live in the top 10%, or higher, of men in this world. Thats not
to say this is advanced. Its just not for beginners.
A quickie definition of push-pull straight from the pen of Swingcat:
Push-Pull is whenever you emotionally push a woman away from you
and, then, emotionally pull her back in. Each Push creates an emotional
space for each Pull. Well be filling this out as we go along.
Now lets unpack the thesis statement.
While you can succeed using almost any combination of push and pull
(e.g., 80% push-20% pull, 50% push-50% pull), the combination that will
generate the fastest seductions and most powerful connections is 80-20
pull-push or in other words, 80% pull-20% push. This is true only if the
following also hold:
a. The man has good fundamentals (good body language, tonality, tight
inner game and is hence non-needy, etc.). This also applies if he is
physically attractive or is perceived by the woman to have high social
value.
b. The woman is unusually attractive in the mans eyes, and she is
confident about her value and attractiveness. This relates to Believability.
She needs to be able to be confident enough in her self-worth to accept
your advances.
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If both those elements are in place, then the fastest and most powerful
route to sex is a mix of 80% pull-20% push.
[CAVEAT: If the man only has average fundamentals and the woman is
only of average confidence in her own attractiveness and value, then the
optimal mix is further down the continuum and closer to 50-50 pushpull.
This is because pulling a woman closer to you emotionally is only
effective when you already have a basic level of attraction from the
woman. Of course, we all know that this kind of attraction is largely
independent of ones physical appearance. Over 90% of this kind of
attraction is attributable to body language and tonality alone. Thats why I
call these the fundamentals. Your attitude and outlook are also crucial to
pulling off the right BL&T, so I include inner game as a factor for the
sake of completeness.]
Pushing a woman away is effective when a woman looks at you and
doesnt expect you to be cocky. It throws her off and is hence funny.
Its like when a precocious child talks like an adult, using mature and
sophisticated vocabulary, sentence structure, etc. Its unexpected and
incongruent with the kids image, and hence, kind of funny, and if done
right, its admirable.
Now imagine a 50 year old, sophisticated-looking man talking the same
way. Its not funny anymore. Its just normal and expected.
Similarly, when a below average looking guy uses a lot of push cockyfunny, talking as if hes too good for her and using humorous sarcasm,
its attractive because the woman begins to wonder, How can this guy
be so cocky? He must have something going for him that I cant see yet.
Im interested. And because its done in a comedic way, shes not
offended, but rather, intrigued.
Now if a guy who has his fundamentals down (good BL&T), a goodlooking guy, or a guy perceived to have high value starts to push her away
emotionally, shes not intrigued. Why? Because its obvious why this guy
is so cocky. Hes good-looking, high-value, or has an attractive
personality. Its not funny anymore because its expected and congruent
with his image. He just comes across cocky. For a guy like this to use
cocky-funny, he has to really emphasize the humor and really cut down
on the cocky part.
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Most people overlook the fact that David D. himself acknowledged this
in one of his newsletters:
"If youre a pretty good looking guy, you might turn down the cocky, and
turn up the funny. Women perceive good-looking guys who act cocky as
MAJOR PLAYERS, and too much cocky too soon can backfire on you.
More accurately, this isnt just true for guys who are good-looking. If
your fundamentals are strong, or youre perceived as high-value, then it
applies just as well to you.
Its the push dynamic that makes these high-value or good-looking guys
come across as too unattainable. For guys like this, its best to use the
pull dynamic more often and save the push dynamic for that 20% of
dramatic contrast.
And obviously, when a guy with good fundamentals, attractive
appearance, or high social value is perceived as a major player, it is very
bad for his Believability.
You can do it the opposite way, of course. You can do mainly push and
just a little pull, like 80% push and 20% pull. Or you can be very cocky
and only a little funny. Sure, you can get success that way, too.
But for the most part, if your fundamentals are already strong, then:
1) You can get much faster seductions by pulling her in more often than
you can by pushing her away.
2) You can get the girl to feel a deeper emotional bond with you by
pulling more often than pushing.
Heres why:
1. If your fundamentals are good, then you will be a relatively
DOMINANT, powerful, and confident man. Hence, girls (and most
people in general) will naturally feel like following your lead. So when you
tell a girl to sit down, she will feel a strong social and emotional pull to sit
down. When youre emotionally pulling a girl in by telling her to kiss you,
she will have to work extra hard to resist. Most girls like a strong,
dominant, powerful, confident guy, and many girls have the fantasy of
being taken by such a man. Any resistance they give to such a man is
just token.
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Thus, if you already have good fundamentals (BL&T and basic inner
game), and you want to shave massive amounts of time off your
seductions, youre better off pulling the girl in more frequently than
pushing her away because the chances are good she will give in more
often than not.
Ah, but Asian Rake, when you push a girl away, doesnt she want to pull
you in? Isnt that the whole point of pushing her away? So you can get
her to chase you?
Yes, to a certain extent, this is true. Thats why you SHOULD STILL
PUSH. Thats the all-important 20%. In fact, by pulling most of the time,
when you do finally push her away, itll feel that much more powerful to
her.
If youre a dominant guy, girls will feel pressure to follow your orders,
and unless shes very dominant herself, chances are good that she will
NOT pull you in return every time you push her away. Chances are good
that if you are a dominant man, when you push her further away, she will
follow your lead and remain further away.
Assuming the pushes and pulls are of about equal emotional intensity
(thats one variable Im leaving out here), if you PULL more often than
not, she might resist you at first, but then because youre dominant, shell
follow your lead and move closer to you emotionally and physically. If
you PUSH more often than not, she might resist you at first, but then
because youre a dominant guy, shell follow your lead and move further
away from you emotionally and physically.
Sure you can generate attraction with most combinations of push-pull.
But whats faster to sex? When shes emotionally and physically closer to
you, or when shes emotionally and physically farther from you? It should
be obvious.
This is how the best naturals Ive seen get bathroom lays in less than 15
minutes.
Its pull-pull-pull-pull-PUSH-pull-pull-pull-PUSH-pull-pull-pull to the
bathroom.
2. By pulling more often than pushing, you can also create the deep
emotional connections much faster.
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You notice that with this mindset, youll be pushing her away a lot more
than youll be pulling her in. David D. follows this up with some now
classic examples:
I do crazy things, like if Im standing next to a girl at a bar, Ill turn to her
and say in a completely serious voice, Will you PLEASE stop touching
me? And then look them right in the eye.
Or say, What are you doing at a bar for god sakes? Cant you find a nice
normal guy? Or are you desperate? All with a completely straight face.
I could go on forever, but youre better off reading his eBook or
watching his DVD series Cocky Comedy. Wow, I never thought Id be
plugging David D.s materials, as if he needs to sell any more. LOL.
When most guys think cocky-funny, theyre thinking this kind of
cocky-funny, which is what I call, Push Cocky-Funny.
PULL COCKY-FUNNY
This is my default style of cocky-funny, so Ill give you one of my own
examples.
I learned from a natural friend that this sort of thing is best done when
youre a bit over the top or dramatically exaggerated in what you say and
in your facial expressions, tonality, and body language.
This took place near the coat check of a huge nightclub, which is just
about the only place in the club where you can talk without speaking
right into her ear. A super cute, long-haired beauty walks by, and I jump
in front of her with my hands slightly extended in front of my chest in a
stopping motion with my palms out.
Me: OMG! (Then, with a sigh and a love-sick puppy dog look, I say after
lowering my hands) Im in love with you Give me your number. (Pull
#1)
HB (shocked): Huh? Are you crazy? Why?
Me (with an incredulous look on my face): Why? I mean, just look at you.
Youre driving me crazy. It should be a crime for you to walk in public.
(Pull #2)
HB (breaking out laughing): Where are you from?
Me: From? It doesnt matter. I want your number. (Pull #3)
HB (laughing): No way. First tell me where youre from.
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Day 12
Body Language 101
Written by Bobby Rio
Originally Published:06/26/2008
The first thing you need to accept about your body language is that right
now youre probably completely unaware of the mistakes that you are
making. For me, it took watching myself on video a few times to really
appreciate how many mistakes I was actually making.
The first part of this lesson I want to make you aware of the different
ways you are conveying low status. Hopefully by being consciously aware
of these mistakes you can catch yourself in the act, and quickly correct
them. By taking the time to first break any of these bad habits you may
have, you will be making it possible to accept the new habits I will talk
about later.
4. Holding Your Face up with Your Hand. This displays the image
that youre too bored or tired to bother holding up your head straight. It
displays a lack of enthusiasm and energy towards life. These are not the
kind of people other people want to interact with... as they appear to
have nothing to offer. It can also give off the impression that youre
uncomfortable with the way you look and are trying to hide your face.
5. Leaning Forward to Talk to Someone. A quick glance around a
room can tell you which guys are going to succeed with the women they
are talking to, and which guys will fail. The successful guys are usually
relaxed leaning away from the girl, causing her to move toward him. The
unsuccessful guys are the ones bent over leaning forward. If you think
she cant hear you talk louder.
Habit 1: Make it a practice to hold eye contact with everyone that you
meet. While doing the talking you should be holding eye contact for the
majority of the time. If someone else is talking to you, hold eye contact
about 50% of the time. If youre talking to a group of people switch eye
contact up between the different members of the group but always be
holding it with someone.
Habit 2: Get in the habit of walking around with your head up and your
neck straight. In the beginning you will need to constantly be checking
yourself. Create a little game with yourself to remind yourself to pay
attention to your posture. Tell your friends to point this out to you.
Habit 3: Keep your muscles relaxed. This is especially true of your facial
muscles. When we tend to get nervous we tense up in the jaw. You need
to keep your face free of this stress.
Habit 4: Smile often. If you dont have a naturally attractive smile than
you should practice in front of a mirror. A smile displays a positive
energy that is infectious.
Habit 5: Push your chest out a bit and pull your shoulders back. The
idea is to take up some space. This is another habit you will have to
check often to avoid falling back into the old habit of slouching.
Habit 6: You should keep your feet about as far apart as your shoulders.
Habit 7: Take up space when you sit. Spread yourself out a bit. Dont
slouch and look sloppy, but dont be afraid to get comfortable.
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Habit 8: Walk with confidence and power. This means your head should
be high, neck up, chest puffed out a bit, shoulders back, and take big
slow steps. Try never to appear to be in a hurry or flustered. Also walk
with direction. This is especially true when walking through a bar you
never want to give off the vibe that youre looking for the cool place to
be. You want to give off the vibe that you know where it is and already
are heading there.
Habit 9: Avoid making sudden hyper gestures. Every gesture you make
should flow naturally at the same speed as your previous gestures.
Habit 10: Use hand gestures when telling a story. When talking to
someone avoid clutching on to your beer or putting your hands in your
pocket.
The trick to pulling all these habits together is to use slow calculated
gestures. If youre giving a girl a once over, do it slowly like it doesnt
embarrass you that she noticed. If youre grabbing a drink off the bar
take it at a speed that says Im in no hurry. Try learning how to turn
your head slowly, how to blink slowly, how to change facial expressions
slowly and how to gesture slowly. This kind of body language
transmits the message: Im so comfortable in my own skin, it hurts.
On the subject of body language voice tone is insanely important.
While technically it isnt body language, all the same rules apply to it.
Most people speak with weak, squeaky voices that convey the message:
Im not confident I have no self esteem.
If you want to attract beautiful women, youre going to need to take a
few lessons from Barry White. Learn how to speak with a deeper voice.
Learn to speak from down in your chest and stomach. Add more bass to
your voice.
Also, learn how to speak slower and how to articulate every word
better. Become comfortable pausing it creates anticipation. Most guys
talk too much, too fast, and feel like they need to talk because theyre
nervous. Dont do it! Learn to lean back, relax, and become comfortable
with the tension that comes from silence.
Body language and voice tone habits are not easy to change. It takes time
and determination to break a bad habit and replace it with a new one. But
if you implement these habits over rest of these 31 days you will find that
eventually it will become natural to you.
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Day 13
Building your Social Circle
http://www.tsbmag.com/2008/06/28/building-your-social-circleday-13/
Or search for Building Your Social Circle on TSBMAG.com
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Day 14
How to Properly Tease a Woman
Written by Brad Howard
Originally Published: 06/30/2008
Before I start, let me just say that this article is NOT going to be some
PROFOUND, complicated, piece of work that Im trying to make sound
more insightful than it probably is
It seems that everyone is doing that nowadays and I think that the
message that people are trying to convey is getting lost in the fray.
That being said, here are the MOST important things that if you get
down that will make the most impact in your dating/relationship life
bar none.
They are:
The Opinion Opener
Teasing
Your Look (clothes, hair)
Your Body (best inner game changer EVER!)
If you can get these 4 aspects of your game down youll CRUSH
most men.
So with that aside let's get to it let's talk a little about my way of
teasing women and how it sparks sexual tension.
(Note: I DO NOT do this for a living. Im not out at bars testing out
my latest and greatest teasing method nor do I really expect YOU to
be. This is just a collection of what I KNOW to be true from my
personal life, and the interactions Ive have with guys that arent having
any problems in the woman department.)
First and foremost, the whole point of teasing is to create a fun
environment where women can loosen up and open up to you.
Teasing is also a great way to shake someone out of a funk, or get them
to see that whatevers going on it their life really isnt that bad at all.
I dont view it as a way to pull a woman down to your level.
In fact, no matter how good looking she is I find that if youre pulling
YOURSELF down to HER level youll find better success.
Heres what I mean:
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You: Man, why is it that every woman thinks that she can buy you a
drink and then try to get in your pants. Heres a hint, Missy (whisper)
its gonna take more than one (smile)
Guys, keep in mind that these ARE NOT serious conversations. They
are tongue in check and playful.
Using the accusation tease is a SURE way to get her to give you a love
tap or punch on the arm or a light shove.
To which you can reply:
Dang, feeling me up already and we just got here geez
The Frame-Banging Tease
Okay, I couldnt think of a better term for this but heres the gist of it.
Say your woman, or even a woman that you just met has had a really
rotten day but you want some sex because, well, youre a guy and
thats what guys want.
Heres what you do:
Her: Man, Ive had such a shitty day (blah, blah, this is what
happened)
You: (Smiling) Wow, I never expected YOU to let
(someone/something) get under your skin like this. What would you do
if I lost my hair all of the sudden, would that mean you wouldnt hang
out any more? I TOTALLY expected more out of you.
(Youre doing this to show her that its CRAZINESS for her to feel like
shes feeling naturally, we can go on and on with this but I hope you
get my drift.)
If she doesnt snap out of her funk with this, we now have to employ our
most SECRET WEAPON
The Tickle Tease
NOTHING changes the tone of a conversation faster than some good
ole tickling.
Start slow at first. Like a little bit.
You: (Smiling) Are you going to get in a better mood huh are you?
Her: Stop it!
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You: (tickling) Are you in a better mood yet? Tell me Im the greatest
ever whos your buddy whos your pal (okay, so I stole that from
Stripes shoot me)
Then you just start kissing and BLAMMO!
Bumming Monkeys Time.
Wow, I cant believe I just said BLAMMO ha-ha
(The above statement is a great example of self depreciating humor, by
the way)
Physical Teasing
Before I end this, because I could literally go on forever on this topic
physical humor and teasing ROCKS.
For example, bring back the old school Youve Got Something On
Your Shirt gag where you point at a spot on her shirt and when she
looks down, you bonk her nose with your finger.
That always works great.
Or and this is always fun.
If youre walking side by side and there is a physical object on her side
slowly start walking her into it. Thats fun too.
I also like walking up behind my woman and shanking her if she has
on sweats or loose shorts in the house and then ACT like Im going to
do it when were out in public. Fun Stuff.
Teasing is a fun way to build attraction and BOOKS have been written
on the subject.
Its the ULTIMATE way of flirting and getting her to chase you, all while
showing your strength as a man.
Heres my final tip on teasing and pay attention because this is
important.
When you are teasing a woman, make sure that its fun for HER but
that you are ALSO AMUSING YOURSELF at the SAME TIME.
I cant tell you how many times Ive had people ask me:
You just trip yourself out dont you?
Me: Absolutely, I cant help the fact that almost everyone else in life is
lame. I like to think of it as playing with myself without all the mess.
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Day 15
How to Create a Kick Ass MySpace and
Facebook Profile
Written by Race de Priest
Originally Published: 07/01/2008
Social Superstar
Artists still maintain their online profiles despite meeting women out in
person because it is just too good not too.
HOW TO GET STARTED MEETING ALL THOSE CUTE GIRLS
ONLINE
The fist crucial step in meeting all those hot girls you see online is setting
up your profile correctly. Think of your profile as the online equivalent
of your first impression. It will form the basis for what a woman thinks
about you and how she will interact with you. After all, your profile says a
lot about you. From your profile alone, a girl can figure out if you have
any attractive qualities, what kind of job you have or what you do, what
type of lifestyle you live, your hobbies, your interests (i.e. favorite movies,
books, and music), what kind of friends you have, if other women are
attracted to you, what you look like, and somewhat of how popular you
are. This is huge!
Once you set your profile up correctly, it literally WORKS FOR YOU!
Its like having your own personal PR firm who goes ahead of you and
gets all the girls excited about wanting to meet you when you arrive.
Now the question is
HOW DO I SET UP MY PROFILE SO IT ATTRACTS
WOMEN?
Note: I will be specifically focusing on MySpace and Facebook because
these are by far the largest social networking sites on the planet. But the
underlying principles are universal and many of the guys we have
successfully coached used them all over the world on sites like Bebo,
Match, Orkut, Hyves, Friendster, etc.
There are many elements that go into setting up your profile correctly.
Here are the major things to keep in mind as you design your profile:
Keep in mind the type of girl you want to attract. Remember to create a
profile that is appealing to the type of girl you want to attract. If you
want a bad girl with tattoos, you need to create a profile that connects
with that type of girl. Once again, if you are unsure, go to the profiles of
the types of girls you want to attract
and copy their style or the style of the guy friends they have.
Simplicity and Readability
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Your mom was right about making things legible. You want your profile
to be as easy to read as possible. Women will abandon your profile
quickly if it takes too much effort to get an idea of who you are. A good
way to start out is to use a solid background with contrasting text colors
(i.e. white text on a black background or any light on dark color scheme).
You dont need to go overboard in this area; simplicity and readability is
the key.
When to write and what to write
Take careful consideration about what you write about yourself. If you
try to write about how cool you are, the fun things you do, the beautiful
women you hang out with every weekend, etc, you will be perceived as
trying too hard to gain approval. And girls who dont know you have no
reason to spend their time reading about you unless youve compelled
them to.
DO NOT try to sell yourself by talking about how cool you are,
the fun things you do, the beautiful women you hang out with,
etc. You will be perceived as trying too hard to gain approval.
DO NOT write your life story. Girls who dont know you have
no reason to spend their time reading about you. They will most
likely see this and say I dont know you, I dont care. It is better
to be brief yet have variety and keep her guessing, than to write
your whole life story and bore her.
Be Diverse
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When writing it is better to be brief yet have variety and keep her
guessing, than to write your
whole life story and bore her.
You can even leave out your interests, giving her more reason to
search for a connection with you. Going back to the
characteristics women screen for, you want to be an enigma she
wants to figure out.
Be Creative
In your About Me section, be creative. Dont say Im new to this whole
MySpace/Facebook thing or all my friends are on here so I figured I
would create an account. Talk about things like, I love meeting new
people or I surround myself with positive, fun, spontaneous, and
outrageous people. It doesnt have to be long. Again, we need just
enough to intrigue her, but not so much as to bore her. Make her curious
to find out more about you.
No flaky people
No psycho stalker chicks! I dont care how hot you think you are!
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rather than slim, then I would like to meet you. You must show that you
have standards. Women like men who know what they want. If you do
not know what you want, now is the time to sit down and figure it out.
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
The pictures you choose to use on your profile are vitally important. In
most cases, these will be a womans first impression of you. Why not
make it as good as possible? The following are some guidelines to follow
when choosing what pictures to use:
Use a variety
You want to have pictures depicting you doing a variety of different
activities. You dont want to have twelve pictures of you drinking beer
with your buddies. It is as if each picture is showing off a different side
of your personality. As we have already learned, women like a man with
some depth to him. They want a man with a sense of mystery, a challenge
to figure out. Your pictures can make her curious, and that is one of the
most important first steps to attracting a woman online.
Choose only the best
Choose only the pictures in which you look the best. If you upload ten
pictures and you only look good in three of them, then the other seven
are creating a bad impression. It would be far better to only have those
three in which you look your best. If in doubt, put your pictures up on a
photo-rating site like www.HotorNot.com, and see which ones receive
the highest rating.
Embed pictures into your profile
We have found that actually embedding pictures into your profile is the
easiest and most effective way to make a great first impression on girls.
This allows a girl to get a snapshot of how exciting and fun you are.
Remember, your page is your way of demonstrating how cool and how
socially desirable you are. Use a range of pictures showing different
aspects of your personality. Have some action shots, some travel shots,
some of you with your niece or your dog, some partying with hot girls,
some doing something goofy, etc.
On Facebook, you just need to add an application like Big Photo or
Slideshows. On MySpace, the first step is to upload your pictures to an
image hosting site like www.photobucket.com or your own MySpace
photo album.
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Next, paste the following HTML code into any section you want the
photo to show up (i.e. About Me, Interests, Who Id like to Meet):
<img src=http://www.imagehost.com/images/pic.jpg width=400>
<br />
Where http://www.imagehost.com/images/pic.jpg will be re-placed with
the URL pointing to your image. By specifying the width property in the
<img> tag you ensure that your photos will have a consistent width (the
height of the image will be adjusted automatically to maintain the original
aspect ratio). This technique will ensure that your images are not too
large and that theyre easy to view.
Hint: write funny captions to go along with your pictures to demonstrate
even more of your personality
Just paste the following HTML code above the embed image code
shown above:
<div><font size=+2>Picture caption</font></div>
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years ahead of all those other guys out there leaving your competition in
the dust.
Remember to have fun with this and if you have any questions feel free
to ask.
Cheers,
Race
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Day 16
Tips for Flirting Online
Written by Honey
Originally Published: 07/02/2008
Flirting consists of a variety of tactics, both physical and verbal, that can
be used in almost any situation. We flirt for a variety of purposesfrom
screening for a long-term partner, to scoring a one-night stand, to simply
being social. The vast majority of our flirting techniques were developed
for situations in which people were connecting face-to-face. However, in
todays increasingly technological world, flirting online has gone from a
geeks- or losers-only pastime to a necessary skill.
There are three main types of online flirting:
1. Pre-emptive flirting: creating a great profile.
2. Early-stages flirting: the first few e-mails and/or texts.
3. Later-stages flirting: keeping the momentum.
Creating a Great Profile
Whether you have a subscription to an online dating service or not, odds
are that you have a profile on some kind of social networking site.
Because people are becoming increasingly accessible online (you can find
out far more about far more people in a day via their profiles than you
could in person), its important that you have a great profile. To have a
great profile, you need to (1) come up in as many searches as possible,
and (2) deliver the goods once someone clicks on your profile.
As far as coming up in random searches, its important to understand
how search engines work. Most searches that you will run are keyword
searches (though many online dating services let you set all types of
parameters via advanced search forms). Verbs dont usually fare too well
in keyword searches because there are so many conjugations (run, ran,
running). If you are the one searching, to run a successful search you
are better off putting in a noun: runner.
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When you are creating your own profile, you can easily increase the
likelihood of coming up in other peoples searches by using synonyms.
For example, if you like to run, you might also put jogger or marathon in
your profile. This is especially important because no matter which of the
three terms someone searches for, youll come up. If youre running a
search and come up empty the first time, you could try some synonyms
as well, to catch people you might have missed.
Once someone gets to your profile, the most important thing is
specificity. List specifics. Tell stories. And dont be afraid to ask
questionsa nice rhetorical question gets the other person thinking
about how theyd answer, and once they have an answer in their head,
theyre halfway to e-mailing you! Theres a huge difference between the
following:
I like to hang out with friends, have fun, and watch movies.
Now the first thing youll probably notice is that the second example is
much longer. Well, thats no accident. While you dont want to go on and
on, the two big keys to a great profile are making sure your profile is
upbeat (no one wants to date a bummer) and saying something of
substance. For heavens sake, if the online world is like a giant bar, then
how can you come off as a person of value if you dont have anything to
offer beyond clichs?
The First Few E-mails
Unsurprisingly, my advice about the first few e-mails (or online chats, if
youre into thatIm not, for reasons Ill explain) is pretty similar to my
advice about profiles. List specifics. Tell stories. Ask questions.
However, one caveat is never, ever, wink at someone, or poke them
or any of that gay sh#t. Man up and give the lady (or fella) some real
communication. For anyone whos been on these types of sites for any
amount of time at all, these half-ass forms of communication are reviled
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and make you seem wussy (which, if youre too chicken to make a real
first move, you kinda are).
Now, in a seemingly contradictory move, if someone winks at you and
you at all like their profile, you should definitely respond back with an email. You know theyre interested, so half your work is already done for
you! You can tease them about using a wink at some point later on.
The formula for a great early e-mail is pretty simple:
If they e-mailed or winked at you first, thank them for doing so.
Say something specific that you liked about their profile, and
word it as a compliment ("I couldnt help but be excited when I
noticed that you are an animal lover).
Tell a story from your own experience that relates to what you
liked about their profile (Ive never been a dog person, but last
summer I found an abandoned Jack Russell in the parking lot of
my complex. I looked for his owners, but never found them.
Now a year later hes there to greet me when I get home from
work!).
Im not a believer in asking for the digits but rather proposing the
meetup. The reason for this is that the other person will then offer their
digits without you having to weaken your position at all by asking!
I met my BF on MySpace, and our first couple of interactions followed
the pattern above. I sent him a one-line e-mail, and he e-mailed me back
to say that we had a favorite author in common. After a couple
exchanges he tried to add me as a friend and couldnt because he didnt
know my last name. When he e-mailed to ask, I said, Im sorry, I dont
add people that I havent met in person. He said, How about beer on
Friday? And that was our first date
The reason that Im going to come out against online chat is that (and I
know this is a personal pet peeve) I hate all that misspelling and
textspeak. Type real words, damnit! And since I type about 70 wpm
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and hardly anyone else does, its pretty tough for me to come off as
anything except overly chatty.
I like e-mail because you can control the length and content as well as
proofread for spelling and other errors before you hit send. Its just
much easier to put your best foot forward when you use e-mail as your
medium. If they suggest chatting, go for itjust remember the possible
cons.
Keeping the Momentum
Once youve met in person, a flirty e-mail is a great tool to keep in touch,
sustain momentum, and keep your interactions light and fun. The big
tips:
Again, use real words, spell everything correctly, and make sure youre
not e-mailing a work account.
Keep your e-mails brief and stick to one topic; you should be
teasing her with the promise of your presence, not overwhelming
her with super-long e-mails (which also kind of make you look
like a loser who has nothing better to do in your spare time).
Dont send more than two e-mails per day, and dont you dare
send that second e-mail until you hear back from her first. Again,
the goal is to sustain momentum, not to come across as desperate
or stalker-ish.
Flirting is an art, and the keys are paying attention to the other person,
avoiding clichs at all costs, and knowing when enoughs enough. Best of
luck!
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Day 17
Phone Game Strategy
Written by Hot Alpha Female
Originally Published: 07/03/2008
So let me paint the picture. You see a hot chick at a club, shopping centre
or the tennis club. You build up the guts to talk to her, make her laugh
and somehow manage to get her number. You think to yourself
SWEET!! Im in.
You end up calling her a couple of days later, like the rule book
suggests... to ask her out on a date. She doesnt pick up. You think 'hey
she is busy' and you try again later that same day. You still dont get a
response. So you call again and finally you get an answer. You talk to her
expecting that things are going to pick up where you left off and are
utterly stunned when she starts making excuses as to why she cant meet
up with you. She says that she will get back to you and she never does.
You are left scratching your head, thinking to yourself where did it go
wrong?
So here is the thing.
Some of you may be baffled by this whole situation.
To some of you it doesnt make sense.
Well Im going to lay out for you what is REALLY happening and what
you really SHOULD be doing.
Sound good?
Let's get started.
Rule # 1 - Dont Contact Her for At Least 48 Hours
I know it sounds hard doesnt it? But you have to stick by these rules.
Because when you can't wait for the 48 hours you appear needy and in
need of a life.
Here is the thing. I have been on dates with guys and literally like 2
minutes after the date they are messaging me and telling me what a great
time they had on the date and how they would like to see me again.
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Then I have also had guys who send me a message straight after a date
and then send me another one 30 minutes later wondering why I havent
sent them a reply yet.
The only thing that runs through my mind is... stalker; get a life, and
ewwww.
It's like an instant turn off. And there is no logical way to explain it. So
do it not only as a favor for me, but for all the other poor girls out there.
Just make sure that when you follow this rule that you dont wait too
long after 48 hours. Anything more than 4 days and the girl (if she is
interested in you) starts to get pissed because you didnt call her within
that calling period and she assumes that you are not interested.
You can mess with a girl and pretend that you are not interested, but this
is not one of those instances.
Rule # 2 - Send Her A Text Msg First
You know scoring a date is kind of like making a sale. Except the item
that you are selling is yourself.
So in other words you are going to have to look like something that she
would want to date/buy.
Now that doesnt mean being something that you are not. But it does
mean that for the moment you operate within a certain guidelines until
you have internalized all this game stuff so bear with me ok?
So as part of this, stick to the rule of messaging her first before you call
her. Every girl is comfortable with texting. In fact we like them more to
begin with.
See it's great for us and is great for you too. It means that you can
actually think about what you want to write, you dont have to think on
the spot.
Now the main agenda with text is to warm her up. Let her know that you
are on her radar and that you will be in contact with her soon.
If a guy texts us within 2 days of us handing out our number then that is
sufficient enough for us to know that you are interested without
appearing really needy and wussy.
Now as a general rule with messaging keep it short and sweet. Banter a
lot, but dont get into these messaging conversations. At the absolute
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maximum make sure that you only send 2-3 msgs in one conversation.
Always be the one to end the messaging conversation.
This means that when the conversation is nearing an end, you are the one
that has to stop sending her msgs.
Some of my friends have trouble with this, because they feel in control
by being the ones to have the last say. But you have to look at it from the
point of view that YOU are the one in control because you have the
strength to stop the messaging first =)
Rule # 3 - Msg Her and Then Call Her
Ok so I have to admit that this is not something that I came up with. But
one of the things that I heard one of the guys does on David Ds cds. He
would msg this girl and then when she replied back, then he would call
her within a minute or so.
He found that significantly increased his chance of getting to speak to
her, because she would have to be close to her phone in order to send
the msg right?!
Brilliant idea and I suggest that all you guys use it.
Rule # 4 - Keep It Light And Keep It Casual
Ok so when you call her for the first time after she has given you her
phone number then it's not a good time to start going into a deep and
meaningful conversation.
You actually want to keep things fairly casual and most importantly keep
it brief. But just because its a short amount of time, doesnt mean that
you dont have your work cut out for you!
The first thing that you want to do when you call the girl is to break the
ice and get her laughing. Essentially you want to get her back into the
same state as she was in when she gave you that phone number.
The best way to do this is to refer to something that happened when you
last saw her. Maybe refer to a joke that you had previously found funny
with her and give her updated content on it. This will bring her back to
that place and help her feel more comfortable with you.
Thats the thing with phone calls. You want to be able to establish
comfort before you can even consider asking her out.
If a girl doesnt think that she will be comfortable with you or will be able
to trust you then she will not even consider going on that date with you.
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So remember the rule, keep it light and keep it casual. Break the ice and
get her to laugh before you even consider asking her out.
Rule # 5 - Keep It Short and Sweet
This kind of follows on from the other points. But seriously dont talk
too long. Like 5 minutes.
As a general rule with this whole gaming and dating thing Less is
always MORE!
Seriously
You dont have to get an update of what this chick has been doing in the
past 2 days. She doesnt have to know about all your past relationships
before you guys go on a date.
All you have to get a chick to do... is know you, like you and trust you
,and then you can get her to go anywhere and do just about anything with
her.
Rule # 6 - Leave one voicemail thats IT!
If you have to leave a voicemail then make sure that its only one. Two or
more becomes stalkerish.
I know it sounds silly but its true and this is what goes through a chick's
head. When courting a girl, you need to remember to give her the space
to think about you. If you are constantly trying to impede on her space
then she is totally not going to appreciate it.
Give her the gift of missing you ok?
So with a voice mail you need to remember to keep it short and sweet.
You dont have to repeat your number and all that crap; just leave a
short msg and then hang up.
So in regards to what you should say, then you can say something a little
ball busting and then get her to give you a call back.
When calling a girl, be prepared for a voicemail and know what you are
going to say as well.
There is nothing worse than a long winded voicemail msg with a guy who
doesnt know what he is talking about, who is wasting your time and
YOUR credit!
Random Tips
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Some of you may be wondering how many times you should call before
giving up.
Firstly you should message first. If the girl messages back, then your
chances of getting to talk to her again are much higher.
If you message a girl and she doesnt message you back... and this
message contained some call to action on her behalf; then you need to
know that you are going to have to do some major work on getting this
girl to go on a date with you.
Persistence is not the only tool you need. There is no point in doing the
wrong things over and over hoping that you will get a positive result in
the end.
You have to do what works.
Remember to warm a girl up to you. You can tell that a girl has warmed
up to you when she is laughing at your jokes and the conversation is
flowing.
Heres a tip. When a girl talks with ease, it means that she is comfortable
with you.
If you find her being more quiet that usual, then there is something up
and she is not comfortable, because A) she thinks that you are a freak or
B) she hasnt warmed up to you yet.
In regards to what you should talk to her about your main aim is to
bust her balls, make her laugh and have a good time.
Keep it short and sweet and always leave her wanting more.
Now with that said Now I want to see better conversion rates ok?
*winks*
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Day 18
Text Game for the Pua
Written by Lance
Originally Published: 07/07/2008
person at all times. If you send a text, the other person is going to read it
within a few seconds. Conversely, if you send an email, its possible that
person wont read it until the evening or the next day if youre sending it
to a personal account (and you shoulddont send flirty emails to a
work or business account).
Not only that, but getting a text is like a little treat that breaks up the
monotony of your day. Everyone loves to receive text messages! I
havent delved into this, but I think some people derive a certain degree
of social clout from the number of texts they get. If youre a chick and
youre getting dozens more texts than the next girl, then youre more
popularat least that seems to be the psychology. If anyone wants to
dive into point, Id love to hear some perspectives.
One way I flirt over text is to send messages that will compel her to write
back. Its like playing a little game. Here are a couple of examples:
Hey, just ate lunch at this great Thai place, you would love it!
Guess what Im doing right nowits fing awesome!
Just read your horoscope, its crazy.
All of these messages are intended to come out of the blue and compel
her to write back and ask what it is youre talking about. The key is being
playful, interesting, and fun. Once she responds, you should banter back
and forth for a bit, ie basic flirting. This gets her thinking about you and
this method can be used to maintain a connection or escalate, it just
depends on the direction you want to go.
Ill use texts as a direct compliment. I often do this after a first date,
either in the same night or the next morning.
You looked totally sexy in that dress.
Had a blast, conversation was great, youre a great kisser WOW!
Youre the cutest Leo EVER rawr.
This creates a strong statement of interest and lets her know that youre
absolutely interested in going further. Theres nothing wrong with a
compliment as long as youve established a strong masculine frame
during the date. Itll pump her up and get her thinking about how cool
you are. Ill use this to spur a longer text conversation and then mix in
some normal text conversation, such as asking how her day went. This
dialogue establishes that youre a normal guy and not a player (ha-ha) or
merely a flirt.
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Maintain a Connection
If Ive number closed a chick and I know I cant see her again until the
next weekend, Ill text her just a little bit during the week to remind her
who I am. The key here is to flirt and be a bit mysterious so that shes
compelled to see you when you ask for a first meetup. I rarely do fluff
talk in these instances because youll risk losing the attraction by seeming
mundane. As with everything else you should calibrate.
I like texting during the day when I know shes at work. Lets face it,
Monday at the office sucks (if youve got an office job) and getting flirty
texts can be a real pick-me-up. Ill mix this in with a couple of emails,
some MySpace stuff, and a phone call or two to maintain the connection
until I see her again. Keep in mind that pickups are tenuous affairs and
flakes can happen at any timetexting helps to cement a future meetup.
Usually what I do when maintaining a connection is to offer a bit of
value, such as a laugh, a two line story, or a horoscope (astrology is chick
crack). Your goal should be very simple, just make her smile! Credit Sean
Deacon on that one, but I think its really true. You can use the same
lines from above, but here are another couple of examples that initiate a
value giving conversation:
Holy sh*t, the craziest thing just happened to me!
Your horoscope is insane today.
Whats great about the horoscope thing is you can look up the quickie
horoscopes on astrology.yahoo.com and hit her with one. Ive never met
a girl who didnt like getting her horoscope. OR, if youre really slick, you
can make one up on the spot and sex it up a little. This can be great fun
and its an easy way to escalate. Heres an example:
The planets are alignedtoday is a day for secrets, drama, and hot
monkey sex. Dont be afraid to cut loose.
Escalation
Texts are a great way to introduce or maintain a sexual frame. For
instance, if you did a quick 5 pickup and number closed a girl with a
minimum of sexual framing, you can hit her like this:
Hey, its the hot guy you met an hour ago, what are you doing??
I loved your glasses, youve got that sexy nerdy look RAWR.
We should have talked to you longer DAMN youre cute.
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This way youre either establishing a sexual tone or maintaining one and
getting her excited about thinking about you. Chicks eat this up, and if
youre calibrated properly and pumping out good lines, this shit kills.
You can do pretty much the same things if youve already had a date with
a minimum of Kino or maybe just a kiss close. Hit her with texts that
have a sexual tone and just plow forward. Shell follow your lead and
likely respond back with flirty, sexy texts. Im a big fan of these:
Had a blast, OMG I could barely keep my hands off you!!
I can tell youre going to be trouble.
My mom warned me about girls like you.
If youre deep into a sexual frame with a chick, or if youve already had
sex with her and plan on doing it again (i.e. dating or FBs), you can and
should use text as a way to maintain attraction. Lets say youve had sex
once and youre setting a date for next Friday night. Try these:
Okay, Ill meet you for drinks, but youre going to have to work extra
hard for me.
Three guesses what Im doingif you get it wrong, youre getting
spanked.
Happy hour on FridayDont worry, I wont let you take advantage of
me ;)
Work your basic push-pull and teasing in there. This shows youre playful
and flirty and will get her into a sexual state of mind. Even if Im dating
someone and I know I can nail her whenever I want, Ill still flirt because
its a hell of a lot of fun and it gets her hot for the Lance cock.
All of these lines are examples and you should easily be able to come up
with your own.
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Day 19
How to Go on First Dates
Written by Roosh V
Originally Published: 07/08/2008
Besides sex, first dates are the most fun part of the game. You have two
people who barely know each other alone and isolated with sexual
tension and possibility in the air. Here are a few things to make them
more successful.
1. Pick the right day. Dont try to do a first date on a weekend,
especially if you havent kissed her yet. Weekend dates send the wrong
message that you value her too much; ready to give a primetime night
to someone you just met. Plus chances are she will be busier on
weekends anyway. Stick to Monday through Thursday for the first date.
2. Pick the right venue. You can get a lot done taking girls to coffee
and ice cream dates, but if your goal is to get into her pants as fast as
possible, you must go for drinks. Start the date at a quiet bar well after
dinner so you dont have to worry about getting food. Even if the date is
short of a blockbuster, its very hard not to get at least a make out if shes
had three drinks in her.
3. Preparation. There is no way you can memorize enough routines for a
two hour or more date, and even if you can it would be a stupid waste of
energy. Youre going to have to be, well, real and this is where I hope
your vibe is fun and interesting. If not then dates will be a challenge. The
only thing I do before dates is have two fun routines ready, usually the
cube and some type of fake palm read. I also remind myself of a handful
of innocent touching moves that prime her for the kiss.
Quick tip: On your way to dates call up a couple friends and shoot the
shit for a while. Since first dates are mostly a talking affair, you want that
part of your brain ready. The worst thing you can do is lounge around at
home all day in front of your computer and then go out without talking
beforehand.
4. Shes more nervous than you are. Its natural to be nervous,
especially with the pressure of getting laid hanging over your head. But I
guarantee you she is more nervous than you are, simply because shes a
girl and we all know the ones who cant even go to the bathroom without
a friend. The more you have your internal game straightened out and
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believe a girl should prove her value to you, the less you will be nervous.
Think of her on a stage, twirling and spinning for your pleasure. Whether
this is reality or not doesnt matter just believe it.
5. Show up late. I have a friend who shows up fifteen minutes late and
Im not sure that is extreme or not but Im always at least five minutes
later. You want to stir up some anxiety and fear that shes being stood up
so that her insecurities are driven inward instead of on you, where she
judges you and picks for flaws. Even if you arrive early, mill around for a
while until you are late. I cannot stress how important this is.
6. Focus on escalation. Thats your number one goal. A touch here or
there that gets extended as the night goes on, then touching her hands
and putting your arm behind her in the booth of the lounge you picked.
The first half hour will have almost no touching probably, but then the
drinks get in your system and it becomes natural. While you dont want
to sound like a total idiot on the date, the reason you kiss her will be
more because of the touching than the conversation. The kiss will be a
foregone conclusion.
7. Go for the lay. Even if you dont think you will get the lay on the
same night, its still a smart idea to go for it as you drop her home
because it makes your job much easier for the second date. The farther
you get on the first date, the less work you have to do on a second. Plus
even if the date goes well, you cant make the assumption there will be a
second. How about if her long lost ex boyfriend calls the next day? Youll
kick yourself if you didnt push as far as you could get.
As you probably noticed, most of the work in turning out a good first
date is done before you even show up. A little bit of preparation goes a
long way in dates and it makes sense to do because you worked hard to
meet her and get her out and dont want to blow it with stupid mistakes.
I made A LOT of stupid mistakes when first starting out in the game, but
even before that I remember my strategy to getting kisses used to be
hoping and wishing shed make the move and do it on her own. I was
too scared I would get rejected and look like an idiot. I sucked it up when
I had enough and just started approaching like a machine, going on dates
every week and noting what worked and what didnt.
It took me about six years of constant practice but I figured out the
vibe, a mindset that keeps your game on without trying to game. This
is especially useful on dates when you're focused less on routines than
when you first approach. I also stumbled on half a dozen touching
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moves that help escalate on dates and in the bedroom, and also the idea
of the multi-venue date system to increase rapport and trust.
I share all this and a lot more in my book Bang. Of course its backed by
my Bust out the Condoms Guarantee.
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Day 20
How to Get a Day Two
Written by Bobby Rio
Originally Published: 07/08/2008
A few years ago I was going through a slump with women. It was not so
much that I wasnt meeting any; it was that the ones I was meeting just
werent up to my standards. These girls were falling for me quickly, and I
would soon have to break their hearts. It was depressing me. I was really
starting to believe that either there were no quality girls left in the world,
or that I just couldnt attract the ones I wanted.
About that time I went on Match.com. A little while after going on the
site I started an online flirtation with this cute Filipino girl. She would
write me these long rambling emails at four in the morning (that were
just the most amusing things to read) and I soon found myself very
attracted to her. We made arrangements to meet.
When she arrived at my house, she was even hotter than her online
photos portrayed her to be. Within minutes of talking to her I was
already feeling like this was going to be different. I was sensing a
connection I didnt feel with the other girls.
When we got to the bar, things went even better. The conversation was
flowing naturally, we were laughing a lot, doing shots together, and
teasing one another it was genuinely the best date I had in months.
Mid way through the date I was already imagining our future together.
Although I didnt get a kiss that night, she came back to my house for a
bit, and the evening ended on a high note.
The next day I couldnt stop thinking about her. And although it had
only been one day since I saw her, it felt like an eternity. My better
judgment told me to wait a day or two before contacting her again but
I couldnt help it, I sent her an email that night. Something along the
lines of had a really great time last night. What day this week do you
want to play tennis (we had talked about playing tennis on the date)
She didnt respond to the email for a couple days. When she did respond,
all she wrote was I had a good time too. You are a really funny guy,
She never mentioned the tennis invite. The night I got her email I called
her. She didnt answer so I left a message. She never called me back. I
waited a week then emailed her again Guess we didnt connect as much
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as I thought or something AFC like that. She wrote back the next day
saying Sorry Ive just been busy. Youre really nice Im just not sure
what Im looking for right now in terms of relationships.
BAM it was over. The one girl I actually felt a connection with didnt
even have interest in a second date. I began really analyzing what went
wrong and it became painfully obvious why she had no desire to see
me again.
Below Im going to go over the mistakes I made on that meeting. My
hope is that by reading through these mistakes I made you might be able
to notice a thing or two that youre doing that might be preventing you
from getting a second date.
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Day 21
Building Sexual Tension
Written by Evil Woobie
Originally Published: 07/10/2008
Sexual tension happens when two individuals feel attracted to each other,
but dont have sex, at least not yet. It doesnt always lead to sex, though
usually it does, and could go on and on for a lifetime without the
individuals concerned acting on it. In simple terms, its the chemistry
that happens between individuals who like each other.
When Sparks Fly
Extreme attraction develops under the safe haven of friendship. Friends
have several things in common; they communicate a lot and spend time
together. At what point does the attraction build so that individuals
enjoying a platonic friendship just let go and freely act on the attraction?
This happens when sexual tension peaks.
I dated a guy who I shared a wonderful friendship with before going for
the plunge. Wed see each other constantly and while all the things we did
were wholesome, there was an undercurrent of attraction that cant be
ignored. In fact, if our wholesome scenes were to be made into a
movie, the viewer would be most likely banging his head on his popcorn
saying get on with it already!
The main trouble is that whenever we are in alone dates, the devil called
friendship conscience comes in to ruin everything. The following words
echo through our minds:
Hey, weve known each other too long to let something like a relationship ruin our
friendship. We both know we are not ready for that.
And so, nothing happens, and the onlooker throws his soda at the
screen.
Escalating the Sexual Tension
Here are some subtle things a guy can do to fan the flames of burning
attraction and cross the border between friends and friends-withbenefits:
1. At one or the others place, watch a movie with a story line that
involves sexual tension - Not porn, mind you, but one that has a
gripping plot and an explosive love scene. Think Top Gun (Tom Cruise)
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and Disclosure (Demi Moore). Or better yet, ditch the romance movies
and rent a thriller. Some studies have shown that good horror films can
be more sexually arousing than romance or even porn. The basis of
which is that fear results in the same biological effects as sexual arousal
i.e. rapid heartbeat, stimulated senses. Besides, being very, very scared is
always an excuse to cuddle up.
2. Online chat - There are things that you can tell a person you feel
attraction for online that you cannot say to her face. This is because you
feel protected from an extreme reaction by your monitor and the x-mark
on top of your browser. Saying something like you really looked sexy
today during class. It took all of my self control to prevent myself from
just kissing you in a dark corner when we met for lunch will convey the
message that you appreciate her efforts to look her best. Because youre
friends, this will translate as sincere admiration more than harassment.
She already knows that you like her, now its time to let her know that
you think shes hot.
3. Sexy Phone Conversation - While you bore her with the details of
your soccer practice, casually mention that youre wearing only boxers
because the humidity is killing you (or my favorite, I just took a
shower). Since you know that shes also into you, this could lead to
more prolific things, particularly if shes feeling a bit naughty. The trick
is not to sound too eager. Give her the power of seduction; make her
feel that her voice and the theme of your conversation are turning you
progressively on, bit by bit. Encourage her to talk about her fantasies,
while sharing yours. And for goodness sake, do NOT mention another
girls name. If you must describe making love, say when a girl kisses my
ear or something similar.
Sex is not the End, but the Start of Better Things
You are still very, very good friends. Once you overcome the sexual
tension thats been plaguing your relationship, you are now free to
continue a stronger friendship that will last for years and years to come,
regardless if it developed into a more serious one or not
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Day 22
Preparing Your Bachelor Pad
Written by Bobby Rio
Originally Published: 07/11/2008
Social Superstar
get it up. If your couches have stains on them cover them with
some kind of soft blanket.
3. Wipe down windows, mirrors, and glass table. Windows are an
easy thing to clean and will make the room appear much nicer
when they dont have dust and smudges reflecting off of them.
The same can be said for mirrors and glass tables.
4. Clean your computer area. This is often a spot you will find
yourself at with a girl listening to music or watching a video clip.
Make sure your computer is dusted off; your desk is in order, and
most importantly CLEAR YOUR BROWSING HISTORY
ON YOUR COMPUTER. I cant tell you how many guys I
know have messed things up with a girl by giving her the
opportunity browse through his computer while he was in the
shower. You never know whats on there. It's always safe to
constantly be clearing it.
5. Your bathroom must be impeccable. If there is one area that girls
will judge you the most on it's the way you keep your bathroom.
Get rid of all hair in tub and sink. Make sure all stains and crud,
or anything that would gross a girl out is gone. Keep the place
stocked with toilet paper. Keep the towels hanging nicely. Make
sure the toilet bowl smells good and looks clean. The last thing
you want is a girl not coming over because shes too grossed out
to use the bathroom. Remember, what looks clean to us, doesnt
necessarily look clean to them.
Below are some certain items you want to be aware of that may be
contributing to a bad smell in your place.
Get rid of all clutter. If there are items laying around that you no
longer make use of; either throw them away or put them in the
basement or garage.
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The best idea is to find a style that you like, and then slowly decorate
the place to match that style. For me, I decided I wanted my place to
have the feel of Buenos Aires. I found several magazine articles that
celebrated the style of Buenos Aires and then I created a look around
those. I painted the place with Latin colors and then slowly found
items that complimented the room.
I find the best way to shop for home decor is online. I bought 90%
of the framed art work, pictures, wall decorations, and window
treatments online. Once I knew what style I was going for I began
searching for items on Ebay and Amazon that would fit into the
decor. I would buy items as I could afford them. In the past I would
try to go out and decorate my new place in a weekend. My old
strategy caused me to purchase a lot of cheap items all at once. This
new strategy of decorating my place over the course of a couple
months allowed me to search these sites, and when I found
something I liked, purchase it as the money became available.
Beverages
You always want to have either bottled or filtered water available.
On that note, you want to make sure that your glasses and silverware
are always clean.
It is a safe bet to always have a couple bottles of wine lying around. I
also tend to keep a six pack in the fridge, and stock a small bar with
liquor.
When a girl comes back to your place, it's always nice to be able to
offer for her to join you in a glass a wine. A fun thing to do is have
some frozen cocktails on hand. Making her a margarita is always a
nice way to break the tension and enjoy a good drink.
Bedding
It goes without saying that you want your bed to be inviting as
possible. The best way to do this is to not cheap out on a good
mattress. Once you have a good mattress purchase a nice comforter
set to go along with it. You always want to keep about four pillows
on your bed.
Another good habit to get into is making your bed every morning.
Since a true player, never knows when hell be taking a new girl
home, he must always be prepared for an overnight guest.
Entertainment and Props
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Day 23
Quick Lesson in Kino
Written by The Dicknotist
Originally Published: 07/14/2008
If youre reading this, youre probably looking for ways to obtain more
sex in your life. Perhaps you want something more than just sex or
perhaps not. Either way, what separates true sex from porn is that the
former involves touch whereas the latter is viewed through the pixels of a
computer screen. Sex cannot happen without contact and neither can
seduction. Too many guys make the mistake of focusing all their efforts
on conversation and while your words may peak her interest, your touch
is what will drive her wild with intense desire.
From the moment a woman lays eyes on you, shes unconsciously
wondering how youll be in bed. Will you take charge as she surrenders
her body to you or will you look to her on what to do? Will you be
affectionate and attentive to her needs or will you just slam it in a few
times and leave? Do you actually know what youre doing in the
bedroom or will she have to teach you like all the other guys? All of that
is conveyed through your eye contact and touch.
Weve all read the now famous DiCarlo Escalation Ladder (DEL),
which will give you the nuts and bolts of what to do, but not necessarily
the mindset behind it. Guys who arent used to touching women will just
lay their hands on her as if theyre in a video game. They earn five points
for every time they brush her arm or tap her back. When I touch a
woman, I dont play for points; I play for pleasure.
When I think of touch, I imagine that my hands are like paintbrushes
plastering my emotions onto her body. Call me the Jackson Pollack of
seduction: I paint her arms her arms and torso now so that I can sprinkle
some more on her face laterwith my other special brush. So, when
first talking to a girl, I will often just lightly touch her outer arms and
torso with my fingers as Im talking to her. I see it as expressive: you
touch her as you talk to emphasize important points. That touch is more
subtle and friendly, aimed at just making her comfortable and more
trusting. During high points in the interaction, however, your touch
should become more appreciative.
Touch serves two purposes: to emphasize what youre saying to her and
to appreciate her. An example of appreciation could be that in talking to
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her, she reveals that she works as a nurse. That immediately peaks your
interest as your mom was a nurse and you realize the resiliency and
compassion necessary for the job. Rather than just telling her how
awesome that is, you should also touch her arm and hold it there a few
seconds longer than usual and perhaps even stroke it.
Expressive touch is like a period: light and quick. Appreciative touch is
like an exclamation point, lasting a good 2-3 seconds. Yet the point isnt
for you to have this in your head while talking to a woman but to give
you a context for which touch can amplify and supercharge your game.
When you touch her, touch her as if youre already making love to her.
Cup your hand as you touch her back and cup the back of her shoulder
blades. Dont forget her sensitive spots, including her inner arms, behind
her knees, the skin fold on the other side of her elbow. Later on in the
interaction, touching her neck, ears, thighs, breasts will amplify her
desire. Dont be afraid to graze her breasts! Graze them now so you can
glaze them later.
You can get away with murder in the field as long as you are relaxed and
slow down. Calibration is simply the act of doing things much more
slowly, which includes walking, talking, and touching. You may be
nervous, but if you can slow down your actions, you will be seen as
confident and in control.
Of course, touch is best demonstrated by viewing and trying it yourself.
An excellent resource on touch is The Joy of Erotic Massage, which takes
you through more than youll ever need to give women incredible
pleasure with your touch from the first meet to sex. You can purchase a
copy on Amazon, though youll probably be able to get it free through
other means
I hope that when you read this essay and even see the video above, you
will get some fresh ideas on how to use touch to build trust and sexual
tension. Yet, to get the most out of any endeavor, you must go out and
hit the field. Experiment and develop your own style. Innovation never
comes from passively reading and watching. Like any man of character,
you must act.
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Day 24
Body Language 202
Written by Dr. Fuji
Originally Published: 07/15/2008
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When you sit, the objective is to take up space while appearing relaxed
and comfortable. Dont overdo taking up space lest you come off as tryhard. What you want to communicate is that you do not make any
apologies for your existence and that you are used to always being
comfortable. Its the same concept as locking in. Useful tactics to convey
this include draping your arms over the backs of chairs or over the
seatbacks of booths or couches. Your upper body should ideally be
leaning back without hunching over. Feet and legs can be spread
moderately or crossed ankle-to-knee. Sliding forward slightly in your seat
will allow you to lean back even in a vertically-backed chair. The main
communication here is that you are comfortable and confident. Do not
cross your arms over your chest for this reason.
The other thing that body language is extremely useful for is showing
interest or disinterest nonverbally. Because women are so much better
attuned to body language relative to men, they feel your nonverbal
indicators of interest (IOIs) or disinterest (IODs) much more powerfully
than we do as men. For example, facing a set or group is one way to
nonverbally show interest. Conversely, facing away is a subtle show of
disinterest.
Other body language-based indicators of interest include: Leaning in,
Kino escalation (escalating physical touch), strong eye contact, and
cocking your head to the side.
Indicators of disinterest include: leaning back, putting barriers between
you and the set or group (especially in front of your midsection, e.g. arms
crossed, drink in front of the chest, etc), not smiling, body rocking, and
looking away.
Note that some of these things can also be considered demonstrations of
lower value so be cognizant of what you are communicating to people.
The power in nonverbal IOIs and IODs are that they can be used both
subtly and oftentimes with more impact than their verbal counterparts.
For example, a nonverbal false time constraint (an IOD) is much more
powerful than a verbal-only version. As weve discussed earlier, people
tend to place more credibility on body language than verbal
communication because of the difficulty involved in controlling it.
The punishment-reward sub-dynamic is the underlying principle behind
Mehows Chase Cycling model and is most effective when body
language is used to both reward good behavior and punish bad behavior.
A great example of this is during the first minute of the interaction. Sets
generally dont face you right off the opener. Theyre usually facing each
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other. When you begin to hook the set, you can tell by their body
language they start to turn toward you. You can then nonverbally
reward by more directly facing them or giving emotional value. If they
give you IODs, you can punish by facing away and throwing a false time
constraint (a verbal IOD). This psychologically conditions women to
invest and to work for you. And as we all know, we value that which we
work for.
Finally, there are certain body language mistakes that the majority of guys
find themselves making during their training. By being aware of these
common sticking points, youll be better equipped to stop them before
they become bad habits. Lets examine a few of the most common:
Leaning In: This is one of the most common sticking points most guys
make. Leaning in is an instinctive body language move that you have to
consciously change. The lower the set is (seated, lying down, shorter than
you, etc.), the more youll feel the urge to lean in. Dont do it. Have a
wing observe you in set and let you know when youre leaning in.
Rewarding bad behavior: Directly and continually facing a set which is
closed off and giving you IODs is rapport and acceptance-seeking. You
are non-verbally rewarding the set for defiance. Instead, mirror a sets
body language IODs with your own. Take advantage of both false time
constraints and body rocking to avoid continually facing a set that isnt
hooking.
Lacking dominance: Everything you do in field should be done with
confidence and dominance. From the initial approach, to Kino
escalation, to simply walking through the crowd, your body language is
communicating things about you. Dominant body language
communicates confidence, pre-selection, and social proof.
Fidgeting: Nervous ticks such as swaying from side to side, playing with
your hands or fingers, moving around too much, or playing with your
drink all tell the set and everyone around you that you are not only
nervous around them, but that they are higher value and thus, you are
emotionally reacting to them. The emotion of nervousness often
manifests itself through these nervous behaviors. Eliminate them. Youll
notice a marked improvement in your interactions.
Drink shield: This is another common sticking point the majority of men
have. The drink shield is when people hold their drink in front of their
chest in a social environment. The sub communication behind this body
language tick is that youre nervous and uneasy. So your instinctive
reaction is to cover your midsection (traditionally the most vulnerable
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spot on most mammals) with some sort of protection. In this case its the
drink. Instead, hold your drink down by your hip and dont cross your
arms or take a protective stance. You are trying to convey abundance,
security, and relaxation with your body language.
Hands in pockets: This behavior also communicates that youre nervous
and that you feel awkward. You dont know what to do with your hands
so you shove them in your pockets. Instead, let them hang naturally by
your sides. Force yourself to relax and let your arms just fall. At the
beginning youll have to force this, but after some practice, youll start to
automatically relax more in social situations.
Of course, theres dozens more sticking points many guys will
experience, but these are the absolute most common ones. Fix these
behaviors and youll see a significant improvement in your game and in
your own state.
Hopefully this article has been able to shed some light on the importance
of body language as a whole. Weve learned that not only does it allow us
to show value, but to also convey interest or disinterest without opening
our mouths. And of course, weve examined some of the most common
sticking points and come up with solutions and fixes to remedy them.
One interesting side effect of good body language is that it not only
affects your interactions but your psychology as well. The human brain is
constantly reacting to stimuli from the sensory system, and body
language is no exception. Your physiology often has a significant effect
on your psychology. This is why faking a smile for an extended period of
time often makes us feel better on the inside as well. And its the basis
behind parents telling their children not to cross their arms or frown. Just
as your mind affects the body, your body too affects the mind.
We cover body language much more in depth in our live programs and
boot camps and also in Mehows esteemed Get the Girl! Manual
available at www.mehowgetthegirl.com. Information on our live
programs can be found at www.mehow.tv.
See you all in the field,
DJ Fuji
Chief Instructor
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Day 25
Being the Bad Boy
Written by Bobby Rio
Originally Published: 07/16/2008
You probably noticed as far back as grade school, that girls are attracted
to guys who possess a bit of that bad boy persona. In fact, if youre like
most us, youve probably often asked yourself why all girls like the
assholes? or How come the jerks get all the girls?
This is not so say that being a bad boy makes you an asshole or a jerk.
The reason most of us viewed these guys as assholes or jerks is simply
because we were jealous and envious that these guys were always dating
the girls that we wanted, while we were getting stuck in the friend zone.
So instead of trying to learn from these jerks whom we werent alpha
enough to hang with, we found it easier to blame society for our lack of
success with women, and create an acceptable excuse for ourselves,
women only like the assholes.
Well boys, its time to MAN up!
There is plenty that can be learned from these bad boys. Even if some of
their reckless behavior will never suit your personality, you can try
adopting some of their character traits to increase your attractiveness.
If youve found yourself too often getting stuck in the friend zone, it is
simply because that is the vibe that youve been sending off.
You want to shed your nice guy image?
It is impossible to try to imitate specific bad boy behavior. It will come
across forced and insincere. Instead, put yourself in their mindset. Live
life through their eyes.
The Bad Boy trait you should emulate
1. Youre fearless. Most people are insecure. Most people suffer some
form of anxiety disorder. Most people are held back by various forms of
fear.
If you want to stand out in a crowd; live a fearless existence. Feel the
fear; then do it anyway. Most of our fears are completely unwarranted.
Most fear stems from our need for approval. We are held back by our
fear of losing our job, our fear of being laughed at, our fear of going
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broke, our fear of rejection, our fear of ruining our reputation, our fear
of making a mistake.
What would your personality be like if you werent governed by all of
these fears? If you take a look at the short list of our major fears youll
find that not one of them is life threatening. In fact, most of our major
fears are solely based on what thoughts someone else will have about us.
How ridiculous does that sound when you really think about it? 90% of
the decisions that you make are influenced by your need for approval.
Most of us are working a job we hate, lonely or in a shitty relationship,
have given up our dreams because we are afraid of making the wrong
decision, and were not even afraid of the consequences of the wrong
decision We are afraid of what people will say about us what people
will think about us.
How refreshing is it when we meet someone who isnt controlled by
these fears?
Women are attracted to bad boys, because bad boys provide an
adrenaline rush that the average guy does not. In the average guy, a
woman sees a reflection of most of her fears and insecurities. This is
why the average guy becomes her friend. Because they can sit and talk
and wallow in their fears and insecurities together. The bad boy makes
her forget all about her fears and insecurities. He takes her into his
fearless existence.
And she gets addicted to it.
My challenge to you
Live the next two days of your life completely fearless. Just for the next
two days, say what you feel like saying, approach who you feel like
approaching, tell someone who has pissed you off to fuck off, do
exactly what you want to do.
Do you want to call out of work and go the beach? Do it! Do you want
to tell the counter girl at the bank that shes sexy as hell? Do it! Do you
want to finally change the style of your haircut? Jump out a plane? Get a
tattoo? Have sex with a stranger? Do whatever the fuck you want!
Whenever the fuck you want!
Do this for just 2 days and experience the thrill of being fearless. After
the two days you can go back to worrying about what people think, or
how you appear, or whatever other insignificant, trivial reason is holding
you back.
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Day 26
How to Turn a Female Friend into Your
Girlfriend (Part 1)
Written by Bobby Rio
Originally Published: 07/18/2008
gone, she will be relieved that you finally called and her jealousy and
confusion will dwindle Just when she thinks things are going back to
the status quo... cancel the plans with her. When you cancel dont
schedule a new date. Once again, be vague.
In the meantime, another great way to create jealousy is to take advantage
of social networking sites. Assuming that the both of you are active on at
least one social networking site like MySpace or Facebook, you can bet
she will be checking out your profile to see whats going on in your life.
It is important that you change up your profile a bit, add some new cool
pictures (preferably with some hot girls.) To go even further I would
recommend getting a bunch of attractive girls to leave comments on your
page. Race and Kelly give a great way to go about getting these
comments.
The entire time that youre away from her you need to be working on
yourself.
If there are physical areas of you that need improvement, now is the time
to get serious about change. If youre over weight, do everything you
possibly can to get to your ideal weight. If youre scrawny join a gym
and follow a good plan for bulking up. Basically you want to do
everything I outlined in day 3 about updating your look. It is crucial that
after her long time away from you, that when she finally sees you again
there is a very noticeable improvement in your appearance.
During your time away from her you also need to be working on your
social skills. You should not spend all of your time away from her
thinking about her and planning your next move. You need to be filling
your days with the most exciting, challenging, and personally rewarding
events imaginable. You should be doing everything you can to take your
mind off of her. You should be out talking, flirting, and building
attraction with as many girls as you can. You should be hitting on other
girls with reckless abandon.
Improving your social skills serves many purposes. Above everything
else, it gives you a chance to see if you really want this girl to be your
girlfriend. Many times guys fall for their female friend because she is the
only girl in their life. Once these guys go out and meet some new girls
they realize that there is an abundance of women and no longer cling to
this one girl the way they used to.
The other benefit of improving your social skills will be that it will
naturally make you more attractive to your friend. The confidence you
will gain through your improvements will radiate throughout you. Your
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new found confidence will probably impress her more than your new
body, haircut, or wardrobe. You will also be fine tuning your flirting skills
which you will need later on when you start hanging out with your friend
again.
The final benefit of improving your social skills immensely while youre
away from your female friend is because youll find it so much easier to
create the confusion and jealousy that youre aiming for. If youre
avoiding her phone calls and breaking plans with her, it is much more
powerful if it's because you really do have better plans and more options.
This will come into play in part two when I discuss finally meeting up
with her again.
The final thing you need to be doing relates strongly to lesson 1 which
dealt with designing your life. While Ive stressed that during your time
away from your friend you should put her out of your mind as much as
possible, there is one exception to that. I swear by this, as I truly believed
it is what finally allowed me to turn a friend of five years into a lover a
couple years back. Every morning upon waking and every evening before
you go to bed, you need to spend fifteen minutes visualizing yourself
with your friend as lovers. I dont mean visualize the act of sex I want
you to visualize what it will be like after your first kiss. Experience the
feeling of sitting next to her having moved past the friend zone. Hold the
vision in your mind and feel all of the feelings associated with it.
This final exercise is so important because you have to train your brain to
experience the new reality. I found the biggest factor that used to hold
me back from making a move on my friend was that I could not imagine
the outcome. The idea of lying in bed with her, or holding her hand, or
just referring to her as my girlfriend was so foreign to me that it scared
me senseless. As much as I wanted it, my brain resisted out of fear.
I followed the entire plan outlined above, and then supplemented it with
the visualizations and I truly believe that without the visualizations I
would not have been able to succeed with the plan. If you want to learn
more about visualizations re-read lesson one.
This is the end of todays lesson. Part two will deal with how you will act
when you finally meet up with your friend again, how you will break
rapport, amplify attraction, and go for the kiss.
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Day 27
How to Get Your Female Friend into Bed
Written by Bobby Rio
Originally Published: 07/21/2008
If you are serious and strict about following the plan I laid out in part
one of turning a friend into a lover then you will have built up an ample
amount of tension and anticipation. It is critical that you immediately
capitalize on this built up tension. It is extremely easy to slip back into
the status quo if you drop your guard.
Let's talk about how to capitalize on this built up anticipation.
When you finally decide to hang out with your friend again you need to
invite her to an event that is on your terms. This means inviting her to a
party youre hosting or a night out with you and your friends. The goal of
this first meeting is to display the new you in action.
Once youve established a meeting point (bar, club, party) you need to
arrive there early. Once you get to the location you need to establish
yourself as the social charming guy of the evening. Hopefully youll have
invited some other girls you know as well. If not, you need to begin
making new friends immediately. When your female friend arrives it is
critical that youre already engaged in some conversation with attractive
women. If you havent brought girls with you, then you need to be an
opening machine. I dont care if you have to open every set in the bar
find one that sticks.
When your friend finally arrives you should be talking to some girls. You
are to acknowledge her, but do not immediately run to her side. Let her
feel a little awkward and uncomfortable for awhile. How many times has
she done that to you?
I just want to add something in: Do not get too drunk. You can easily ruin everything
youve been working for by losing control of yourself and saying or doing the wrong
thing. I would maintain nothing more than a good buzz throughout the night.
During this evening you should be bouncing back and forth between
your friend and the other girls in the location. For the short intervals that
you spend with your friend the conversation should only consist of light
and flirtatious talk. It is important that you spend this time building
sexual tension through teasing her and using Kino.
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The time that you spend with her you need to be quickly escalating the
Kino. Sexual escalation is more effective because it is less ambiguous:
hold her hand (use an excuse of looking at her rings or bracelets or nails
if you need to); put your arm around her, touch her hair (likewise, use an
excuse). These things are things that lovers do, and friends dont. Youll
need to use a combination of these touches to shift out of the friend
zone.
You also need to be sure to break rapport. She will most likely try to suck
you into talking about the same old status quo topics the two of you
always discussed. You need to take control of the frame and subtly let
her know that youre calling the shots now. If she starts talking about
some guy shes dating-change the subject at the first chance you get. Or
better yet, tell her you going to get a drink and go talk to another girl.
Remember, your goal isnt to offend your friend or be mean your goal
is to build attraction. If youve followed everything correctly you should
have built up some strong attraction. As the night gets later you have to
make a decision. You have to decide if youre going to shoot for the
fences with your friend, or if youre going to end the night leaving her
wanting more.
This is something that youre going to have to feel out. Personally, Ive
found it is almost always most effective to swing for the fences the first
night. Her emotions are going to be peaked by mid way through the
night. She will be feeling attraction towards you. Now it's just a matter of
letting her know it's alright to embrace this attraction.
This should go without saying... but Ill say it anyway never verbally
acknowledge any of this. Everything should be happening without
mention of the paradigm shift.
If youre going to go for it all you need to be rapidly escalating Kino.
Some girls may not be game for making out in the club in this case you
need to find away to get her alone.
Once youre alone with her you have to be sure to keep the sexual
tension alive. If she starts talking about something that is not cooperating
with the mood break rapport again. Later in the night, as the tension is
mounting, the best way to break rapport is with physical contact. This
means tease her with a gentle push, or grab her hand to look at her ring,
or touch her ear to comment on her earring.
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It wont be enough to just tease her and escalate Kino. You need to act in
a seductive manner. You have to encourage her to have sexual thoughts
about you. You need to prompt these thoughts by:
You should slow down your speech and deepen your voice.
Look at her lips and leave pauses where you just look at each
other.
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Day 28
Managing a Relationship
Written by M. Chase
Originally Published: 07/22/2008
Set Expectations
Guys, people act like they are expected to. Frankly, Im surprised this
isnt addressed more in the community. Everyone acts differently around
different people. Let me ask a question. Would you drop an f-bomb in
front of your grandmother? I know I wouldnt have. This is just psych
101. Do you act the same way around your best friend that you would
around your boss?
Now what you should ask yourself is why?
The same thing goes for relationships. You cant exactly change
someones personality, but you can nudge them in certain directions.
Getting someone to admit to something you want wins the battleif
they renege on it later you can bust them on it. People tend to live up to
what theyve admitted to. This is very powerful in the seduction phase.
For example, if Im into a woman and looking for a MLTR, Ill drop
something like look at all the women in this place that need a man to
hold their handplease tell me youre not like that. You can use a
variation of this for any trait youre looking for.
This is also very good for compliance. If shes into you shell agree with
pretty much anything you say unless its way out of her personality. If
she disagrees on a trait youre looking for its up to you if you want to
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wasnt. When women get pissed they will push you to see what they can
get away with. We all do it. In the seduction context make a list of what
will make you happy in a relationship. A loyal girl, bj every day, sex 4
times a weeketc. Whatever you really want. Now push it forward. If
you set your expectations farther than what you really need youll always
be in the clear when problems come up that have to be worked out.
Im trying to remember how this went, something along the lines of can
we just have sex tonight instead of you doing me anal on the
balconyfucking hilarious.
If anything I hope you guys got something out of this.
M. Chase II
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Day 29
Tips for Getting Better in Bed
Written by Bobby Rio
Originally Published: 07/21/2008
If you want to have the ability to call a girl up every night of the week for
a late night booty call; you need to be good in bed.
It doesnt matter how great of a pick-up artist you are; if you dont
perform in the bedroom you will never be able to create a life of
unlimited options. Sexual options with women stems from building up a
network of women who love having sex with you. Women who still want
to sleep with you even after they realize that youre not boyfriend
material. That is true sexual power.
In this lesson I want to give you guys some tips for improving this area
of your life. I recently wrote a post about becoming a better lover where
I discussed the art of reading the signs that a woman is giving you and
continuing to push her in that direction.
Above all this is the number one trait of a good lover. You need to be
able to recognize what a woman is enjoying. You need to tailor
everything to the girl youre having sex with at this particular moment.
You need to make her feel like you know her inside and out. Even if she
knows youre a player, she has to feel an intense sexual connection with
you.
This starts with the kiss. If she is a slow passionate kisser, slow your style
down so your tongues mesh together. If shes an aggressive and
dominant kisser sit back and follow her lead. Shell walk away thinking
you were the best kisser in the world... simply because you mirrored her
style.
Youll need to increase your stamina. If you want a mind blowing sexual
session it has to last more than ten minutes. If you know youve got a
habit of finishing quickly than make sure you extend the foreplay. Use
your hands and mouth to create intense sexual tension. Explore every
area of her body until she is practically begging for it. Most girls really
enjoy receiving oral sex learn to read the signs she is giving you and get
her pussy gushing from the oral.
But even after some powerful foreplay you need to follow up an even
more powerful lay. Increase your stamina and last longer by focusing on
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pleasing her rather than how good you feel, using breathing patterns, use
positions that youre less likely to finish with, and by practicing. You also
want to build up your energy level as well as increasing your testosterone
level which will only fuel your fire in the bedroom.
Everything listed above are the fundamentals needed to become a better
lover. Below Ive listed some general tips to improve the overall
experience.
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Day 30
Ending a Fling or Relationship
Written by Bobby Rio
Originally Published: 07/23/2008
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When a girl doesnt ask what is this and lets thing go along like
everything is fine that is when it is exceptionally hard to end it. In that
case she doesnt give you an out, and you have to be the one to address
the situation. This is a lot harder than it seems.
I wrote a post awhile back called Why You Shouldnt String Girls Along
where I talked about the negative effect stringing a girl along has on your
personality. The longer you date a girl you have no real feelings for the
more resentment will grow inside of you. That resentment is unhealthy
for your soul.
This is why you should use the opportunity most girls will present you
with and come clean and be honest with them. If a girl asks you where
this is headed and you dont see it turning into a long term relationship,
tell her. Tell her why. She will respect you for your honesty.
Many guys will continue dating a girl they have no feelings for simply
because they are scared to be single or unable to give up the steady sex.
This is not the mentality that a true player should have. There is an
abundance of women available. The minute you free yourself up from
one girl, youll be amazed at how quickly more will flow into your life.
In yesterdays lesson I talked about how if youre really good in the
bedroom you can usually keep sleeping with girls long after theyve
realized that youre not going to be their boyfriend. But this needs to be
established as soon as possible. If you lead a girl on for six months and
then tell her that you dont have feelings for her other than sexual... it will
be a lot harder to make the transition. If you let her know this after a
few weeks than it is more likely she will keep you on the side as a booty
call.
The secret to ending a relationship is honesty. The more you try to
sugar coat a break up the less likely she will feel the break up is for real.
If she doesnt feel it's for real than she will be filled with hope that you
will get back together. You need to crush that hope.
I know that sounds mean. But it is a lot meaner to let a girl waste two
years hoping that youll finally see the light and be what she wanted. She
cant have those two years back. As hard as it may seem to tell a girl you
dont love her or dont want a relationship with her, this will actually
allow her to move on and get over you.
Ultimately it is all about living with integrity. The right decision may not
always be the easiest. But youll find that if you continually are honest
with yourself and others your life will be a lot less complicated. You will
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also find that you feel better about yourself, and your sense of self worth
will increase.
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Day 31
Run a SWOT Analysis on Your Self
Written by Bobby Rio
Originally Published: 07/25/2008
Today is the last day in the 31 Days to Better Game series and as a
result I want to make your last task a little reflective and forward looking.
Your task today is to run a SWOT Analysis on yourself.
A SWOT analysis is a strategic tool that has been used for many years in
business (and many other fields) to look at the Strengths, Weaknesses,
Opportunities and Threats that that business might have or be facing.
Much has been written about SWOT analysis and how to carry it out (Ill
let you do some searches on Google for it if youre not familiar with it)
however let me write a brief description of how to apply it to yourself.
1. Define Your Mission and Goals
Before you carry out your SWOT its important that you know what
your goals are (otherwise the exercise is a little pointless as youve got
nothing to review yourself based upon). As a result youll want to have
done Day 1s task - Designing Your Life.
2. List Your Strengths
What attributes do you have that will help you to achieve your goals?
What do you have going for you? What are your strong points with
approaching, dating, relationships? What resources and assets do you
have at your disposal? What do you do better than anyone else?
3. List Your Weaknesses
What attributes do you have that are holding you back from achieving
your goals? What skills do you not have as a successful player, pua, or
alpha male? What is broken on your game? What could or should you
improve about yourself? What should you probably avoid in your
gaming? What is distracting you from your goals?
4. List Your Opportunities
Where is opportunity presenting itself? Is there a local club/group that
you can join? Is there a girl just dying for you to make your move? Did
an old fling show up back in your life? Did a new girl move in the
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apartment across the hall? A part time job you should get to meet new
people?
5. List Your Threats
What external things could or area is hindering you achieving your goals?
Are you working too much and therefore coming home too tired to
game? Do you not have enough money to go out to bars or clubs very
often?
Note - Think of Strengths and Weaknesses as internal factors while
Opportunities and Threats are external factors.
6. Analyze Your Reflections and Generate Strategies
Take some time out to work out what you can do with your findings.
How can you utilize your Strengths? How can you bring your
Weaknesses to an end? How can you make the most of your
Opportunities? How can you fend off the Threats?
An old Marketing lecturer used to say - doing the analysis of Strengths,
Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats is only half the job. Working out
how to turn Weaknesses into Strengths and Threats into Opportunities is
the key part of a SWOT analyses.
7. Plan to Do Something and Do It
Translate your findings into an Action Plan and begin to implement it.
Doing a SWOT analysis is something that I do periodically on myself,
this website and on my overarching business also. Have you ever done
one on yourself?
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The Index
Other things that have helped make TSB Magazine grow:
Our Famous podcasts
We have produced many podcasts that have totaled over 100,000 in
downloads. The topics varied from dating, relationships, confidence
building, online dating, and sex. We've also had the opportunity to
interview many of the top dating coaches.
You can download all of our podcasts by visiting the link below.
http://www.tsbmag.com/category/weekly-podcasts/
Booty Call Game
For those who loved the old Romp.com Booty Call flash game, they
were happy to find that it relocated to TSB Magazine.com.
For those of you who have never had the experience of playing the game,
you absolutely must give it a shot.
http://www.tsbmag.com/booty-call/
Our Video Library
We created a video library and filled it with the best of dating advice, live
pickups, and funny clips.
http://www.tsbmag.com/category/video-posts/
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