REVISION MEMO

TO:

ELIZABETH BENEDICT

FROM:

MICHAEL ROYBAL

SUBJECT:

PROPOSAL AND RECOMMENDATION REPORT REVISIONS

DATE:
CC:

NONE

On of the major things that I had trouble with this semester was my
formatting and organization of the documents I was writing. When I first sat
down to start revising my work one of the main things I focused on was the
comments that were left. The comments ranged from a variety of things
such as grammar, organization detail or separation of information. From
there I started to re-read the prompts again and see what I could improve on
and add within each MWA. After I decided what I needed to add I then read
over my papers again and decided where I needed to add this information
and would I could change, design wise within the documents.
For my proposal one of the main things I noticed was my vagueness within
the solution and the costs. When I revised the document I started to add
more within the cost descriptions. I didnt have an estimate of how much the
cost was going to be so input that to give more detail. Another thing I
revised within this document was going into further detail about the
solution. I laid the solution out in a set of steps to allow the reader to flow
more easy through the document. This allows the the document to not see as
long and look a lot better to read than just the blocks of text I had. Another
thing I revised within this assignment was more detail about the people I
was talking about. I was more detailed in who was going to do what and that
helps the document because readers can see actual information rather than
just hypotheticals. Another thing I changed within the document was the
headings of the different parts. At first they were red and I felt that they
blended in to easily with the regular text. Changing the color to a blue
allowed the document to look more spread out and more like a proposal
rather than just a paper.
For my recommendation report the organization was also a little to blended
together and thats what I really focused on. In my Methodology and
Criteria, I broke up the pieces better and separated a lot of the information.
I think this helps the document because readers can see the information
more clearly. Another thing I added was better sub headings within the
results. This gives readers a better understanding of the two options I was
talking about. I also went into further detail about the different steps I was
taking in order to come up with a recommendation. I added more
straightforward information which helped the document get to the point
quicker. The last thing I looked out was where all my information was. The
stuff I include within the results section was stuff that would be better with

the research and interview section. Moving this information helped the
document because it strengthen other sections that were very vague. I think
my revisions really helped the documents that I wrote and helped out the
organization and detail of my work.