I used to be so strong, I never cried. Always chose how I felt and never got hurt.

Nowadays I’m so weak..I cry myself to sleep every single night. I want to feel fulfilled but I can’t
bare this emptiness. I always feel this excruciating pain inside. I’m not cold anymore, you’ve
soften my up and I no longer can stand this.

I broke your heart but don’t you dare thinking you didn’t broke mine.

We are not even yet and I know you won’t stop until we are. I just hope when you’re
done there’s still something left for me to live for. If not please let me know and I will end our
agony myself without regrets, without consequences for you.

Do you know what it means to cry yourself to sleep?

Don’t worry, neither did I. You know, I used to be strong! Actually, I almost never cried,
always chose how I felt and honestly never got hurt. I’ve changed though.

Nowadays I’m so weak. I want to feel fulfilled but I can’t bare this emptiness. There’s
an excruciating pain in my heart that keeps me from feeling happy. And I do cry myself to sleep
every single night wishing that in the morning the pain has disappeared.

I’m not fine, I’m not okay. People keep asking what is wrong with me, what has
happened but honestly I cannot explain them. First of all I don’t want to and then how can I
explain something that I haven’t accepted in my heart? I’ll keep struggling against acceptance
because in the moment that I do accept it the determination and strength that has held me
through these past weeks will be completely vanished and I will be shattered in a million
pieces.

Right now happiness feels unreachable but I will not surrender. I will hold myself until
my last breath or at least until I put an end to my agony.