Nancy the Happy Whore and the Perfidious Petrol Station

A How-to for Hookering

REMEMBER: Try to use this only if you're really, really stuck. Overreliance on w
alkthroughs can detract from the experience of adventure games, and may cause lu
ng cancer.
Part 1: In which a car runs out of fuel
Pick up the coal, and the grass from the ground by the pump. Look at the pump. T
alk to Susie, and ask her to follow, then lighten her load. She gives you the ke
ys, and the matches. Use the key on the car's trunk, and get the cleaning spirit
s, viagra and condom. Walk to the right of the scene, and pick up the jack from
under the caravan, and the DVD player from the trash.
Walk into the shop, and pick up a magazine from the counter. Ask the shopkeeper
about the pumps outside, then about alternative fuels. Just to be a nuisance, ki
ck the cans to distract the shopkeeper, and reach behind the counter for the alc
ohol while he's not looking. Also, grab the coins on the counter while he's busy
. Go to the DVD shelf, and choose the Romantic DVD.
Go back to the left of the screen. Try to use the ladder. Talk to Susie, and ask
her for a boost. When boosted, you can reach the ladder. Climb on to the roof,
and use the coal and alcohol in the barbecue. Light it with the matches, and put
the grass into the barbecue to dry it. Use the magazine with the barbecue to se
t it alight. Push the bowling ball. Climb down on the right. Pick up the bowling
ball, then ask Susie to follow you. Go right, and ask the Geek about alternativ
e fuels. He wants "grass", so give him the brown, dried grass you've made earlie
r, and in return he'll hand you the fuel-making machine.
Now, you need the ingredients for the fuel machine. These are sugar, water and a
lcohol. Straight away, you can put the alcohol from behind the counter into the
machine. Walk into the shop, and head upwards into a room with a vending machine
. Insert the coins, and when it doesn't work, put the jack under the vending mac
hine. This allows you to get the chocolate from it, which is the second ingredie
nt for fuel. Lastly, use the burning magazine with the sprinkler, and ask Susie
for a boost. While boosted, use the condom with the sprinkler to fill it with wa
ter. Congratulation, you have ingredient number three, which you can put into th
e machine, and receive fuel which needs to go into the car.
Part 2: In which Nancy takes the law into her own hands
Oh dear, we seem to have lost Susie! Walk into the shop to meet the robbers - Mi
ster Red, Mister Blue and Mister Green. First thing, talk to Mr Red, and ask him
what his role is. He blasts a hole in the window by mistake, we'll need this la
ter. Blue is the easiest robber to deal with - use your sex appeal on him, and m
ake him follow you into the vending machine room. When you're in there, use the
jack under the machine to ensure that Blue has an accident. Walk back into the s
hop, go to the toolbox and take the hammer and the cutters, then back into the v
ending machine room, on to the bathroom on the right.
In the bathroom, a snake decides he has a crush on you. He's too flexy, so you n
eed to stiffen him out with the viagra. Pick up the solid snake, the hose and th
e tissue paper. Use the hammer to break the window, and climb out.
Now we deal with Mister Red. Use the hose with the car exhaust, then use it with
the hole in the window. Now that it's hooked up, use the key with the car, and

give Red a faceful of exhaust fumes. Last but not least, Mister Green. Use the s
nake with the ladder, and climb it on to the roof. Use the cutters with the cabl
e, and put the DVD player into the new gap. Put the romantic DVD into the player
, and watch Green run for his life.
Part 3: Freedom of Religion
So, no more robbers, but also no Susie - where has she gone? Go back into the sh
op, and pick up the card from the floor. The skull in the middle gets darker, th
e closer you are to her. In the vending machine room, use the tissue paper with
the blood leaking under the vending machine, and put the bloody paper into the e
mpty bottle. Head to the bathroom, and look at the card to make the floor usable
. Drop the bowling-ball through the floor, leap down the hole, and use the tissu
e paper to soak up the water. Climb into the hole, and talk to the man behind th
e wall.
After being let into the cult, they explain they need a virgin. Where are we goi
ng to find one? Up at the caravan, of course. Head outside, and talk to the geek
- tell him you want him, and choose the options in order: 1, 2, 3. He'll follow
you. Before heading down to the cult, use the tissue with the puddle of oil. He
ends up stuck in the waterlock under the bathroom, so you have to make him slip
pery with the oily paper you've just gotten from outside. He heads straight into
the cult - well done, that's Susie rescued!
With a little persuasion from Susie, you now need to rescue the Geek. Since we l
ike doing things in threes, there are three stages of the ritual that have to be
disrupted. Pick up the cat outside, and take him to the roof. Use the condom on
the barbecue, and put the cat into it. You now have a black cat! Walk down to t
he cult so that we can start ruining their day. Replace the bottle on the shelf
with the bottle of blood. Use the condom with the magazine, and replace the red
book of spells with the magazine. Lastly, swap the idol on the throne for the bl
ack cat. Congratulations, you've ruined the cult's day. Before you leave, just m
ake sure to rescue the geek - or don't...