CEO 1 2010 – CP1 – A E COCKER REFLECTIONS

New possibilities and learning from reading ‘Notes on a Text’ in my practice of reading?

I think this can transform what reading generates for me – I now have a strategy that includes my mood,
presence, and questions to direct my energy. I can listen and interact in a new way with the written
word. It’s no longer reading but interacting, generating. Will I ever read the same way again? Until this
date I have never read about reading, only about accelerated learning techniques for reading faster,
memorizing instead of learning.

Reading1 (R1) was slow and not a skim, I was easily distracted with ideas and connections, making lots of
notes (as usual) but without a clear focus. Both R1 and R2 were like R2 and R3 as proposed by ‘Notes on
a Text’. Normally R1 for me is a combination of all 3 and that’s where now I see possibilities to have a
recurrent approach versus repetition. I even thought I read the document thoroughly the first time (my
assessment) but I missed valuable insights – how often must this have happened previously?

I feel more motivated to read, I have a strategy that engages me in a different way. My Coaching program
in Chile asked us to read every document twice but there was no distinction on how to read. It is helping
me on this journey to have a strategy and a reason why in every read. I have lots of books that I have not
read – I can use this strategy to identify what will help me with my cares.

I have felt overwhelmed at times with the amount of reading so this is a step forward. I am learning to
suspend judgment and trust in the process. I need to let go of trying to do it right (and not just with
reading). I realized I like the right answer, but the existential questions cannot offer this.

How will I use this?

-The skim (R1) will identify the value in continuing, what is relevant e.g. being attuned to what’s
important in my sphere.
-Plan time
-Ask great questions as part of the focus
-Relax and enjoy
-Recurrence vs. repetition
-This will enhance my clarity of my cares and my offer e.g. what’s the value of my offer rather than
what’s my offer.

Questions

How does this work for books versus articles / brief texts, particularly those books with more
conversational, less delineated styles (e.g. Ekhart Tolle, Anthony De Mello) versus clearly demarcated
styles (Echeverría, Maurer, Canfield etc)?

I got a bit bored with R3 on Kaizan – could it mean that for some reading 2 is enough or is it the mood
with which I engaged the text inhibited the outcome?

New possibilities, interpretations, actions, practices, from reading Kaizan Chpt 1. What new practices
are you bringing to your coaching from this reading?

I have lots of opportunities that are arriving into my universe, but I don´t know what to do with them e.g.
big projects in community, potential clients that I need to find a way of way of articulating their needs
and my offer. Kaizan provides a way. Small steps are a way forward for me and my potential clients’ e.g.
-Avoiding my fear around my projects, proposals, trying out new stuff
-Being gentle but provocative to my clients – have their goal or practices but break them down.

Joseph my two year old is good at breaking things down, mastering a little each day and big changes
happen e.g. learning two languages, to walk etc. This could be my way forward for listening for Care and
Commitment and my practice in general? E.g. I could focus purely on the request or offer, or just on the
care etc.

One of the areas I have struggled with is to articulate my cares so a small step is I am going to summarize
my concerns and cares for myself and share with my coach who will help me get closer to clarity. I am
writing notes for my CP1 once per week. When the improvement happens I hope it will last. Small steps
help my motivation (attitude).

I have used this approach with modest success this past week e.g. breaking my day in to several
manageable chunks to e.g. write a proposal 9-10, 10-11 Cares and Concerns, 11-12 British Embassy work
etc . I am starting out with new ideas, some new ways of working having done the ‘same’ for 6-7 years,
so this is where I need my step by step approach and recurrence versus repetition!

What did you learn from your observing and journaling about conversations for action?

The journal process was effective in switching off my autopilot, having a FSOW rather than narrative – for
a couple of conversations I understood so much more about this moment of commitment but I probably
tried to note down too many conversations (including emails) and the depth of my reflection was lacking
at times.

So much is missing in CFAs (or those conversations that people think are CFAs but aren’t!) and by
journaling I noticed that this is a major area of suffering, ineffectiveness and possibility in every domain
of life for me as well as those around me. The big aah haa for me was the word ‘moment’ i.e. when I
thought about these conversations as moments of commitment (or lack of) providing future satisfaction
(or lack of) I found it easier to connect versus focusing on lots of components.

Write a description of one of the conversations that you observed and noted in your journal. Use the
suggested format above for the distinctions of the conversation, including your observations and your
assessments. Notice how you observed and reflected with this conversation.

Date and Identification of a Conversation:

29 April 2010. Fabián Perez, Olympics 2012 Proposal
Description of the Conversation and its Context:
The British Embassy in Ecuador has developed a draft proposal for an activity in support of London 2012.
Fabián and his brother Jefferson had been emailed a draft proposal by the Vice Consul inviting their
feedback. Jefferson is Ecuador’s only medalist (1996/2008).
Speaker: Andy
Hearer: Fabián P
Background: London 2012 proposal. I expanded on the project concept as there were two people present
who were not as familiar with the concept.
Time: Asked if feedback was feasible by Friday 7 th May (10 days), Fabián counter offered to read and
respond by Monday 3rd May.
Request Condition of Satisfaction: I checked that he can read English. Email response Monday but as
discussed below, the COS were not clearly articulated.
Response: Request. Counter offer? I accepted
Observer’s Assessments: I think there was an articulation of a shared care but it wasn’t stated clearly.

Listening: what kind of listening happened in the conversation – for example open, closed, connected,
disconnected - and from what backgrounds? What was the kind of observer that each participant in the
conversation showed up as?
The listening in general connected, but due to the Ambassador’s ‘late lunch’ our meeting started 15
minutes late so the opening of the general conversation was accelerated until we built rapport and
slowed down.

Commitment: what commitment showed up in the conversation? By the customer? By the performer?
Were the commitments clear or unclear, was the speaking and listening committed or in some other
orientation?
Both parties are committed to the bigger care – an inspiring project that will engage adolescent leaders
with the Olympic spirit (courage, determination etc). With the specific request – I listened that the
performer wanted to please the Ambassador (and maybe me) or move on from the request, by offering
to read the document across the weekend and respond by Monday. The customer was not clear to
whom the response should go to by email, or in what form they should add comments etc.

Care: what did you listen to the participants in the conversation cared about?
Fabián and his bother Jefferson are passionate about sport and making a difference. They want to
partner this project because it’s aligned to what’s important to them. I also noticed that they are very
busy so I listened that they value their time. Jefferson Perez is Ecuador’s only Olympic Gold Medal winner
and is a national hero, he has tremendous demands on his time, many offers and requests. I listened that
Fabián was cautious in general about the time they have. In this context my care was to help make this
project be inspiring, engaging and successful and specifically I wanted a concrete outcome to review the
document and not to leave things in the air.

Mood: what moods did you listen in the conversation?

Excited. (it’s a project that could influence the lives of young people). Optimistic. Open. Realistic (let’s
create a project we can land). We smiled, we laughed.

Expected Outcome: what did you listen (interpret) would be the outcomes of action and results that the
conversations produced. Would the participants be satisfied or dissatisfied?
The general conversation produced a ‘count on us to support in any way we can and to be part of the
project’ – I believe with their involvement the project will be successful. The specific CFA – I think that if I
do not write a reminder email or make a follow up call that the email response may not happen. It’s my
first time engaging with these guys, I don’t know how good their English is etc.

What was missing?: what did you notice was missing in the conversation to have a healthy and
committed conversation and satisfying or resolved outcome?
I got a commitment to a day, I could have been more specific to a time (so that I could check and confirm
receipt, feedback etc). Perhaps I should have challenged the counter offer and asked for a more realistic
timeframe as I listened to ‘I am really busy’. Also I was not clear about the detail of feedback e.g. just
around the concept, objective or against all the proposal components. There was no clear answer to
‘what does it look like when the promise is fulfilled. Perhaps I was clear about the doing but not the
satisfying i.e. we need his feedback on what will or won’t work in the project as opposed to an email.

Coaching: if you were to coach the participants in the conversation, what would you do in your coaching?
What would you show? What would you propose for learning or new actions, moves, or skills? What
practice would the participants need in order to develop new skills for their capacity to produce effective
and satisfying action?
Fabián has amazing creative energy. I would coach him breath and relax, get centered to be present with
the moment of commitment. I think he has a tendency to say ‘yes’. I would coach Andy to make a more
specific request (clearer on time, COS) and be confident in sharing his listening (Fabián, I thank you for
your excitement for this project and I am hearing that you are very busy and that Monday may not be
realistic – would that be fair to say? Etc)

From this exercise, what do you see about what is missing in conversations for action, how common
this is, and what opportunities this opens up for coaching?

I have only witnessed three CFAs which appear to have all the components present – one with my
program coach, one with a learning partner on the CEO program, and buying ham in the supermarket!
Every other conversation was missing some aspect of a healthy, effective CFA. That must mean a lot of
energy misspent and some disappointed customers and performers along the way. Clearly a huge
opportunity for me to show what’s missing inside organizations (including me and my family) but this
needs a finely tuned listening. Particularly this is a massive opportunity here in Latin America – with
many conversations there is the mañana effect (tomorrow) and a ‘yes’ I’ll do it, ‘count on us’. Particularly
important is the capability to distinguish between a request and a perceived request and the resulting
disappointment.

To be more specific than you may have been in your response to the opportunities for coaching in the
prior question, what kinds of new promises do you see are possible for you to make to your clients
that will be of value to them? What outcomes can you make more available for them than they have
now?

I can challenge the request of a potential client (e.g. I want to change my leadership capability in a
workshop), offer a more realistic path to sustainable and responsible change.
My offers can be more specific in terms of customer performer contribution to the outcome (I will be a
customer for your learning mister client)
We could agree to a set of standards.
I will listen and show you what you cannot see that will increase your capacity to take action.
I can save them time (in meetings fluffing or chasing outcomes), or investing time in that which matters
to them most.

Write a brief summary of the moods you experienced while practicing with this CP. What moods were
produced with the small steps – were they small enough for you? Could you make smaller steps in your
practice? What if anything, do you see you do or can do to produce productive moods for learning,
including curiosity, wonder, care, resolution, focus, ease, play, exploration, and joy?

Many of my concerns and breakdowns are not new, but I am noticing them in a different way. Week 1 I
felt overwhelmed especially regarding the listening to commitment, to get myself on top of required
reading, commitments in the diary etc. Week 2 more positive energy, maybe more relaxed, a good call
with my program coach. Week 3 mixed –I had a dip with anxiety, worrying about understanding, getting
‘it’ right but this past few days I connected with Kaizan and broke some challenges down into small steps
e.g. worked on my CP periodically, my cares and concerns, proposals, etc. Small steps changed my mood
and I have been more productive. How can I do this on the bigger challenges, my offer, proposals etc? I
need to lose the attachment to the understanding which has been my repetition for 20+ years. I am
trying to build this in slowly.

The written response to CP1 was a powerful reflection; I need to find a way of writing more freely,
succinctly so that it does not become a chore. Perhaps losing my attachment to the outcome, sharing my
learning more regularly, planning smaller chunks and starting with FSOW and keep the FSOW in mind.

Other Practices – centering sitting down, blending 2 step

I have practiced on all but 2 of the days and need to work on my embodiment / recurrence. The
centering I have found challenging to get out of my head but I am using a routine of centering to start the
day and the two step as an energizer, sometimes on my own, sometimes with my family! I am using my
Learning Group to build this muscle.

Areas for discussion with PC / LT:

Distinction between Request / offer and Promise - what is a promise to my client?

Distinction between the Commitment and the bigger Promise (purpose, mission, for the sake of what?)
How to distinguish the moments from the bigger conversations