Bobadilla 1

Gissell Bobadilla
Jennifer Rodrick
English 115
13 November 2016
The Cactus in Me
Living in Los Angeles calls into question, every day, just what is normal.
Everyday, everything functions just a shade differently. This city is the home of fresh
beginnings; people are entitled to start from scratch. But it is brief and provisional.
Occasionally life makes a drastic turn. Just like how Hollys, the central character of
Cactus, life did. Her identity is then shaped to living in Los Angeles; she isolates
herself from the city and avoids any human contact as a result of the death of her former
boyfriend Josh.
Before the horrible incident, Josh loved nature and frequently made visits to the
desert. Holly never seemed to be content about it because it took time away from being
together. He grew sick of her not letting him have his freedom. She was constantly
pulling him back. Until one day Josh decided it was time for a new fresh start, they both
parted ways. He drove out to the Mojave by himself in his truck, parked it across the
desert. It was then when he could be at peace, looking above at the sky full of stars, never
imagining what would happen next. An airplane crashed at the very spot he was in, taking
away his life. After Holly received the news she realized she wanted to be deserted and
secluded from everyone. Everything was so surreal to her, as if she was living in a
nightmare. After sleeping in her bathtub for what seems to be days or perhaps weeks, the
only person she interacted with was Paul, Joshs younger brother. He would check up on

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her to see how she was doing, Its April, and hes trying to get me to flower again. Hes
trying to peel back a layer of me to get where its pulpy and soft. (Ison, 134) In simpler
words, she felt dead inside; nothing anyone could try and do would help her forget Josh.
She wanted no part in the city and was satisfied in the home she was in.
The only way she could relive the moments with Josh was to think back at the
memories they shared. He was deeply in love her but she was too demanding to see that.
His horizon worried her, she felt it become bigger and farther. The thought of losing him
was always at the back of her mind. When Holly finally decided to give in and
accompany him to the desert she realized how unfair she had been to him. She
remembered pieces of him, He kissed me and then I could breathe again, fully, breathe
in the air that was him, breathe in the having him to hold on to, what always made me
feel found and unbound, blessed. (Ison, 128). She felt alive. She knew she could never
be in love with someone else like the way she was in love with Josh.
Holly in a sense relates to the cactus that has so much meaning to the story, they
both symbolize isolation and disparity. The cactus has grown in the middle of the desert
that is surrounded by nothing and Holly on the other hand has grown to like her solidarity
back home where there is no one to bother her. Tara Ison goes on in an interview with
The Coachella Review explaining the similarities between the cactus and Holly, Shes an
emotional cactus. Shes a spiritual cactus. I used that motif more because I was interested
in a character who functioned like a cactus than I was in the desert landscape. (Martinez:
The Emotional Cactus: TCR Talks with Tara Ison). What Tara wanted to say was that
as much as Holly hated the desert she in a way relates to it at the end of the story. She

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always wanted Josh to be with her, to be attach onto him, just like a cactus clings onto
stuff. As a result of losing him she lost herself.
Hollys identity is shaped by the life she lived along with Josh in Los Angeles.
Before his death she was the girlfriend who wanted to be surrounded by him everyday,
she always needed attention and constantly demanded him not to do the things he loved.
After his death, she realizes her life is not complete without him by her side. She
becomes this individual with no motivation in doing anything, detachment from human
contact is all she can think of. The cactus on the other hand is something she relates to
emotionally and pyschologically.

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Work Cited
Ison, Tara. Cactus. Another City: Writing from Los Angeles. San Francisco: City
Lights, 2001. 117-134. Print.
Martinez, David. The Emotional Cactus: TCR Talks with Tara Ison. The

Coachella Review. 2016. Web. 13 November 2016.

Nadig, Dwight. Saguaro Cactus. Digital Image. Istock. 15 September 2015. Web.
13 November 2016.