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 THE.

1950-1955

ALBUM
 THE
ND^ YOMIEK 1950-1955

ALBUM

HARPER g BROTHERS
NEW YORK
yNiyeescTY of flokiba
liiwries
 THE NEW YORKER 1950-1955 ALBUM
Copyright. 1953, by The New Yorker Magazine, Inc.
Copyright. 1950, 1951, 1952, 1953, 1954, 1955,
by The Xeie Yorker Magazine, Inc.

All riglits in this book are resei-ued.

I.itliographed in the United States by

The Murray Printing Company. Wakefield. Mass.
Design and layout by Carmin Peppe.
of The New Yorker staff

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 55-S220.

"/ just cafiH wait to see your work, old fellow. 3J
 -^^^ '^-

"I'm afraid this h goodbye, Miss Woodley.

Pve lost

the battle for proxies."

 "^// right now, a
^ little smile."

^p^ ^v$^i^
"Tremame, could I see you for a moment alone?'
 ^(\J^
/>

'I'm so relieved. I was afraid they'd just touch something and would
it start right uf."

t^^Uvil^
"'
V

^Hey, Combs! Where the hell do you think yoiv're going?"

 .-/^Nl

'Unus, duOy tres, quattuor, qu'mque, sex . .

."

'I swore they'd never take nie alive, but when

the thne came 1 figured what the hell."

MieningtetLnanJ-

CMAIRMAN
OF THE
BOARD

"Really, Ethel Driggs! Doesn't the Girl Scout oath

diM^ 4mdi we took back in Elkhart mean anything to you any more?"
 @

"'JrfJ*.'*.^ ^iw

'Mama had a sofa just like that when we lived on South Elm Street."


"/ do think, Dr. Wurdle, that vchat we are

witnessing here is an example of what might
well be called ecological coordination."
 n

f
'Now the same letter as Charles Boyer would dictate it."

Ou'r^^
'To a great human being!'

, 'i '.1,11 1*
.;'i;i; ';,''..'>

111, 1,1

/> 1, 'i

"This is the tim,e of year when

you begin to appreciate the 'Times' s' fuller coverage.'
;
,
, .{1:1.1 . u , ,1 ; iliii :

;_^
U.j^ ||i^U iJi-iiai;jiiM.t-vi 'i itl^

"My compUmetits to the c/fe/."

 "You donh understand, Dad. It isn't the
business itself that's going great. But you can't imagine ixhat taxes do to you today."

^^

UAWU {'/UuUrvi
 "A t least in a movie
you might be sitting
next to someone.''''

V?I^

A
"Now, that's what I mean about Agnes."
 ''Btit 'we''re from 'Life\''^

'^'^M.
M^'jja
"Watch out for him. He just had his wheels oilei?''
 r%

^
J'
ff

"Pardon me, sir, are

V^
you Mr. Baldivin, the -patent attorney
UAf)

'
Now I see why everybody thinks they're extinct.
 '^m^^
'Technically nobody can touch himbut he has nothing to say."

mm ilKlli ^lil

MmmnmmMimimilMM
MMliimmmMMiim
mmmmmmmmmmi mmm
iOMflli/l El
umumw imi
mmm>

um
mm I

fllllL
m immrimmi mimmii mh
mmiiiMm
mw miiihi
/III

mil
miMHi mi JMmnjMmm
mimiimmiii WiMm nfiiiimmminmiiii i

mmmmummmMiim m [immEimiMii
f\iiimm\iv]m\\\inuiv^-iiim WMMMmmM
 i

'

>
\- .

I 1 >
I

n,. ^mm
'Kindly take us to your President!"
3(iv*rMUvi

'/ am_ meditating:

'M<'
1
I

\:
1
1
I
A'J-i' ,
I

"Now, get this through your

t
5r.
head. Edward R. NLurrow is visiting me ."
 J-MALL FRY
iANDLOT BA5EBALL

c*^

Fancy Dan
Waiting for the signal

Slugger

'It certainly sounds good to hear English spoken again."

 Circus catch

'Here it is. Take a good look at it."

^ n i j
t_Jl,.A.

Q a :
u 'T

^mil
Tr""j;i
nig n i

Three easy outs

Relief pitcher zvarming up

Rookie

o.

Butter fingers
 (mi

"It's not that I don't know whether I love you or not, Herbie, 'Speaking."
it's just that I never thought of you in this connection."

Pfi^.L.^

'This has nothing to do_ with logic!"

"My, you do have a green thumb!"

^/<ifie^iMy "Damn it, Henderson, that izas supposed

to be a CO fee break]"
'Grab a mitt. The world situation won't deteriorate any faster
because you get in a little one o' cat."

Blast off!"
^<:S7^iti-^
 ^-jei^R^^

''His wife poiso?is him ifi the third act.

mim
IHE

--s^jte*!-

fh
V,''' J

<0

rt

w^M^^-

iv ///

^^:^\l)^-^''^
 TH
NLW \OllKER
THE

^M-l

>^'^
1 }

^."1
 THE

' !

#' ''^^
\
kB^ I;
 ^=a^EA^

"/ flayed on Notre Dame?

^
We've already done this room. I remember that fire extinguisher.'^
"O/^, you beautiful doll,
You great, big beautiful doll."
"Now, has anyone anything else
she wants to say before we start talking French?"

u
\V \m\

^jll||fltl]|ljfW;fv}^

^^^-j
p :<yc
->,.= y'^'i>i\

.^\ ''Ar^o^V,^^
5>^ /^%M.

^^it7

"5y, / Mi/^ / see where we went off. Isn't eight times seven fifty-sixP"
'Oh, oh! Pve got a hunch we're in for trouble."
^'Strange / never saw these lines before except on a catalpa leaj^
"The makers of Siegfried beer take you to "While the boys are getting set, why don't
Madison Square Garden for the windup be- you get set
with a bottle of Siegfried ." . .

tween Mike Mulvane and Rocky Rinaldo."

'Well, that round was in doubt. But there's best beer for your money .

no doubt about the .

.".

\o

'There's the bell ending the ninth. Time for '. . . the lager that likes you.
a breather, and that means ."
. .
 ^""Tt"

. . rich as velvet, smooth as silk . .

." "Bell for the third coming wp. Just time to
latch onto another bottle of that beer no other
beer can lay a glove on."

. .and -a:hile you're out there, make sure you've ". . . looks like Mulvane's losing his head.
got enough of those blond beauties on ice." You keep one on that glass of yours."

'Don't forget our six-can Handipak, and the "It's Rinaldo, folks, by a decision! A nd here's
money-saving case of twenty-four ." . . a winner by a decision, too Siegfried beer,
First for Thirst'.!"
"/ hope they have to do a retake. This cherry cobbler is delicious."

'Did it ever occur to you how you look to them?"

 ixM^

"Please don't go to any trouble. We can only stay a minute.'

^^Boy, Pll bet things are humming over at the 'Mirror^ !^^
"A-Iany, many years ago, a little boy stood ivatching
steatn esca-pe jroyn his mother's samovar. 'Why not "Of course that's only an estimate. The actual
harness the steam^ he thought, 'and put it to ijcork?' cost izill be somewhat more."
That little boy lived to invent the steam engine. His
name "jcas Alexei Petro-ff."

5r.

"The feeling is mutual, -punk!'

"And so we say goodbye to beautiful New England.
 f

"Would you prefer Mendelssohn's 'Wedding March' or 'Lohengrin'?

 "Why not look at it this way. Miss PaxtonP
Glasses, more than any other single thing, set
us apart from the lower species."
^/<s&$

'I know the type. A II you'd ever get out of him

would be 'We can't a ford it'!"

l,f^i\

"I could have bought General Motors in 1949 for

twenty-six dollars a share. I could have bought Boeing
for six dollars a share. I could have bought Electric
Boat for thirteen dollars a share. I could have ." . .
WITHDRAWALS

'// Pm stupid, "dchat about you? You married me, didn't you?"

'Well, that cleans him out."

"Gaudeam^us igitur,
Juvenes dum sumus;
'I say 1 do_hear a funny noise. Why must you Post jucundam juventutem,
always stick up for the car?" Post molestam senectutem
Nos habebit humus."
 "What you really want is to marry
the girl and settle down. But you cafiH, because you're a gorilla.''''
 s/ I N S

"Waich it, man! The rate of exchange isn't that much in our favor:

'Good Lord, Gilroy, it's not for us to determine whether they're worth saving.
 e^'o%l:^^^^^S:^^:^^^t^-5W;

"7'm Mr5. Edward M. Barnes. Where do I live?"

"But first, our national anthem."
'They all_are. That's -what he's in for."

mm rO^-ri^

'Want to know something, Dad?"

IdiVariL,.
AMEKICA'J PLAYGROUNDS
Shelling on Sanibel Island
^gfVUtS.

"Don't shout at me as if I were one of your armies!

fP.^!"
..#^ ^ o^W''*^

^What's it m,atter where I've been? The itnportant

thing is Vve come home to you safe and sound."

'And why don't you love me, if I might ask?"

'Can I helf it if we're married?"

 "Now who's throwing
the money around?'

'Do you mind if I bleach my hair?"

". . . and what's more, you frobably never will

find an ad requesting intelligent companionship
jor an elderly millionaire.'"
 2 d

4r

"Who's on clavichord?"
"/ suppose there'' s quite a story behind all this?''
'Vende us ted Turns?"
 'Generally sfeaking, your novel is quite good, but everyone here feels
that the New Orleans bordello scenes lack authenticity ."

"I'm sure your

feelings doyou credit,
Mrs. Carter, but you
must dust this along
with the others."

^\{\iwn(m
anemtc.

''Mind if I
flay through?"
 ^

"/'w sorry, S07iny. We've run out of candy

;
.>'^''-4 -^ ^^
 THE

v>.

'iff!

Ki0y'-'

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THE

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 THE
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"/ a minutel In a minuteP''
/^

"But sufpose we're not mentally superior either."

 tfFitt

'You're fired! You , Preston, that is."

^A/U^LtOI?
 "My next prediction .

On rainy days, I always get this pain right through here:

"One thing Pll say for hhn he's always been a good frovider.'

"Daddy,
come at me
with a knife.
 '",

(/

'ii
f^.'i
 /O .'"

*'
....'^<f .T::;;

mi>^^f/z<5
1

Wo, Happy Time Cafe. This isn't

this isn't the
the happy anything."

"What burns me up, I pay taxes to the Aga Khan,

he gives it to Aly, Aly gives it to Rita, Rita gives
it to Dick, and Dick gives it to some woman

named Nora Eddington Flynn." "Mother! Daddy's putting two in his.'

 'r:^'3\^

'ii[^^loi
^a)
ClAil)&
"And with grateful hearts and a high resolve that we fledge ourselves to further
so, in conclusion, it is
those ideals you have fassed on to us, to re-pay in some measure our debt to those who have gone before
by bequeathing our best to those who will come after, to give to the future as much as we have received
week,
from the -past. And now may I take advantage of this opportunity to say that, beginning next
I will be calling on some of you about the possibility of employment."
 ^-la/^L,^/^ ^r>j^LCa-

Po'int of order Point of order

. . .

Point of order ." . .

"HeHl be all right, Mrs. Perkins. Keep him in bed a few

days, give him one of those fills every three hours, and
take some cooking lessons."
"Hello, Boris? Listen. Comrade Zherkov has
invented something. . No, no, I mean really invented something!"
. .
 ^liMcdla^

'I've always said two couples sharing a cottage is no good."

^^^^^
"Why, you swine!"
 ~
:%.-y7^^i^

^Please! There happens to be a lady present,^^

li!'ii;
'" '
rrm
" : ,'n;?^.AH,)

^'S&mm^-'"

_^^^^

/i^^
4LJ^ ^C-itWiyrv

"The whites of your eyes are like alabaster, your

pupils are like onyx, your irises like topaz, "One at a time! One at a time!"
."
your lashes like webs of the finest gossamer . .
"Damn it, I am looking -pleasant!"
"Miss you bring in your notebook, the file on the Appleton
Elliott, will
merger, and a few sticks of kindling?^'
-r^ \.

4
.sr..:rs^a, \l^

^^,
\r^
VoJiR
"Damn it, Alice, can't you leave well enough alone!"

'Then someone yelled 'Stop, thief!' and,

"And stop calling me Stranger!"
like a dope, I stopped."
'I'm afraid I haven't been much help to you, Miss. I'm awfully sorry."

C^Ti- 75-^ c
"How I envy you, Brother Timothy. M.y call didn't
come after many years wasted on the pleasures
till "Your ominous silence

of the -flesh and the so-called joys of this world." is very effective. Don't spoil it."
'Well, really!"
 ,t.v^5

'^Good heavens^ E?nma! I thought this was you."

^^r^

J /xu_fa
pcUi^L TA^/<r>i
fcivr-V m*!^!'"^

''You do too have 'Harper'' s BazaarT''

"Andante! Andante!"

"I like them. They wear well."

 fi

"Next time the sfeedometer is about to turn

over another thousand miles, maybe you'll keep quiet about it!"

yarJ-^D

"Do you know what he's carrying in that briefcase?

"I backed up last time. He's carrying worries and problems and troubles,
that's what he's carrying."
 (^

^^^k**

'Listen, Mac. These ain't the bookstalls on the Seine!'

(D <^

(S> O

^Somehow I -miss feeling that

pride of ownership a Cadillac owner should have."
 V
#" c'^ <e I

gS?c\,t.rr ^ n.Zcji

"Thank you, Madafn, but I think Pd better stay out

here and watch the car, and see if I can't get a good sermon on the radio.
 r^Jk

fiSru^isSl

"He was a great lepidopterist."

"Pd think you would have

learned by now that
seniority doesn^t
count for a thing
around here."
"By all means, dearbuy it if you really want it. WeHl find the money for it somehow.'^
 THE

mmm

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 1 Ht^^ 0j,'

SiK^YOaKIER ^ .,..--" it^:.....:

JW^
"/ doiPt k?iow what it is, Mr. Mardley, but there's something
about this room that gives me the ivillies.''^
 "Watch it, Edith! You're

over the joul line again.''

Wis tynMj

'Speak up! Speak up! How do you

expect me to hear you?"

^ e-^Q"^^^^^^
'Is it fair if I leave out the cowsP"
'/ don't think it's fair to call people middle-aged just
because they're not so young any more."
 'That's the story, men. Now let's see you get out there and sell freezers.

^Bf'VettaH,
"/ think my love for Brother Valentine is less
than my love for anyone else in this world."

"Thanks very much, hut that wasn't me

who called for help."
 c/ury\

'Tell me. Louts, do you like your warden?"

E^SAY CONTEST
V
'Frankly, the contestant sending in the most box to-ps
stands the best chance of winning." Sffitft^
 /' K;.jA /^'^

'7",^^ -power's off. What do we do now?'

"Mrs. Wallace made

me take them,. She
said they were as
m-uch ours as theirs."
"7 hear no complaints
Ms morning. Am I
to consider myself
complimented?"

q 13 /vu-d2cJ?^

tss
"/ suppose I owe you a word of explanation. Less than ten secofids ago I was dropping
a coin 171 a wishing well up in North Wilbraham^ Massachusetts.^''


"And sOyComrades, rush right down to your

'^b^ Xm^
local commissary and buy a box without delay."

''-'^^^

'Look, Joe, Pm calling that wind last night a terrific gale,

Mj my father would have said . .
." and I don't want you crossing tne up in your book."
ULJf=4 LJLJI II II-

DnDDE

And don't forget the little

-pads, in case one of them has an idea?'

jiE'-^e^'^''

'No, no, Bill! Yoti're a commissioner now."

"Pve never done any

sowing, so I really don't expect to do any reaping.
 ^ , ,^-->'jJ^e.-^a6iJfelSfiafc^''
'

5MALL FHY
THE VILD VE5T

Posse

Bad hombre

Rowing the maverick

"They fumfed me full o' lead.'

Shootin' irons handy

Comflete neve outfit

"Pest!"

Drawing fire

"Pm comin' in a-shootin', Black Pete!"

 DJ)W^[L g(SMQ, [? [?[S[IKI(3K]

i^i\Ky

"Oh, Edzvin, not on your vacation!

"I alzvays jeel like a damn fool -Ziehen

Pm doiim to my last one."

 ^^
"PF/ij, Ted, you say the sweetest things.

LOST& FOUND
 JiiTa ^

yvvvAA

"/ tised to see 'your expense accotwts at the office, Mr. Hofstetter,
but gee, 1 Jiever dreamed Vd be in them.''''
"Carmichael, I'd like a word with you."
"/'// tell you later. I can't compete with that ."
 t@[^DC^^

"And on your right, ladies and gentlemen, is F eld's Clothing

Store, ii'here yon alivays get the most for your money."

w^^^^
'It may he old and threadbare, but it gets me there and brings me back."

S>
4

^^JeoA^
 ^,js?^A-^
'Help! Help!"

"Do I start talking now, or do I wait until

I get on the couch?"

"A t my first mention of Nietzsche, stop serving me.

"In the book, she was wearing a chartreuse tajfeta
with matching gloves."

^Something I can do for you, BwanaP"

'Madam, it might interest you to know that you're cojnpeting with the man
xho ran the fastest 220 in the Monongahela Valley Track Meet of 1928."
 !''
"/ hate everybody, regardless of race, creed, or place of fiational origin
 /-
\

\'
/ y
'f-^rCCTT
^05^^^SMlrillA5~^,'^
^'^'tS^^!^S..xA^J(f J^RSlH^"'"^- ;r.

^/Lt HA t.*- -) i

-^.

til

^..:J^f^

'J;i this is my secretary Miss Foster."

0
 iLi^LJ u

--^m^

"That's just an expression, Mrs. Brozvn. I don't really 'jcant to take him home with nie.

"So zve have to move! Am

I
supfosed to be in charge of the tides or something?"
 USEU

"Speaking for myself, Pd prefer aid to trade any day.

"When did you first discover you were

the salt of the earth?"

"I did shout for help, but the tide of battle

suddenly changed in my favor, thank you."
 o

yj)) )i \)

'Like I said, Professor. Moon-men; ergo, moon-women.

'How much symfathy should I give him?^

'^(J/MdC

'It's a fainting we've never grown tired of." 'If you'll excuse me, Madam, I should
like to rnake a -purchase."
"Well, I think we not go too far icrong in drawing at least two conclusions
tn'tght
about them. They were gigantic in size and addicted to gambling."

Ayl^ATiiy
Q-c^^Oitja: '7-?vloj_
 'Well, I'm not striking it jrotn my record!"

'They have a wonderful author-editor relationship.'

 ."
''Notice, class, how Angela circles, always keeping the desk between them . .
 ^f

*.:** ^

.^ t

I.'

7'

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 m^'l^

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THE
RKER
/

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^^^^^-^.f/ ;^
"/ really donH know if he was a Communist. We never discussed politics.^''
 "/ don't listen to the
evidence. I like to make uf my own mind."

^^c^

"/ think we can be congratulated on our foresight in voting ourselves these

increases, thus assuring to the corforation our continuing loyal services.
 /^ii^'*''"""*'' \

^,//(.re)(4j

'Whoever fainted that hasn't suffered enough. Send Mm to Siberia.

'"^^ ^rS^"' * ft <r4. JL

Its-
 1^

"So}>iethi>ig's ivrong! It says my exact ireight is one liundred and sixty-seven pounds
and that Pm forceful ni business matters, yet considerate of the feelings of others."

-%; U V^
"Well, ihere's the State Department you're alzvays
crabbing about. Aren't you going to go in and give
them a fiece oj your mind?"

"We may not be able to

make 'em, but we can sure as hell cut 'em down."
 ^^s^^'i^-

..:ssii3
:l

I'^^l^

'Enrich the soil izith humus, v:hich can be

obtained from any nearby bog .
."
.

M.-ti^a

"YeSy I knew it was loaded,

>i?K\ but I just never dreamed I could hit him."
 '

"- "
-
// /

Wi;'Jj^'

"You know damn well I take lemonl"

"Yes, but the trouble is he always wears that mysterious smile.
 "Well, of all the nerve!"

O. SOG-i-OW

"My husband is tickling me."

 'You're a very stupid dog!"

'A gentleman across the street -phoned to present his compVnnents and
wonders if you would have dinner with him tonight."
"There we "xere, completely cut ojf, and me with one sack
of flour, a case of beans, and not a single ounce of sugar."
"Death ray, fiddlesticks! Why, it doesn't even slow them up.
 "Bound to haf-pen sometime, I swppose.

^<>S^

"We've uncovered a whole mass of new evidence,

Wilkins. Unfortunately, it -proves conclusively "A m,otion to eat out has been m,ade and seconded."
that you're guilty."
"Well, you don't look happy.'
 "Don't you think people are stupid
to spend beautiful nights like this indoors, Miss Lament?"

'xm
"/ understand you've not only quit drinking,
Bayes, but are going around telling everyone
how much better you feel."
''Well, good flight, Ahmed. If you ?ieed anything, just rub.''''
 '%,.^

"Never mind about its being

only 10 P.M. in Honolulu. It's 3 A.M. here!"

Vvf^

'Pm American male. Instead of spending an entire evening sitting around

a living
flaying childish -parlor games, Pd rather be home in bed. Who amU"
Hen JADI905)T

'To me, they're not just something to buy

and sell. They're personalities."
"Well, there she goes right on the dot?''
 It's Oglub's boat all right,
but it doesn't look like Oglub.

"Good heavens, man, your heart is breaking!'^

 "You hate math."

"Roll uf your window, Charles. I don't want to get

-pneumonia with that draft blowing on the back of
m-y neck. And for heaven's sake don't squat right in
the m,iddle of the seat and cut off my rearview
mirror. And please, please stop fidgeting . .
."
 AwvA

''You're trying to forget one woman. Pm trying to forget an entire all-girl orchestra?^
"Me friend . .
."
"Why, we call 'iter uh'Old Baldy? "
w 1^
r

u ^
nnn^Oj ^g ,aj.

G-, i^X N^ ^/
"0/z, diifi't I teU youY He^s got tie^w glasses.^^

Sr'/^^^
"To hell with iridium! Find me a chemical that
will rhyme with 'whiter' and 'brighter.''

'^VAyirrUm

"Well, you can go right back to Dr. Richard T. Rabbins and

tell him I said your trouble is not fsychiatric."

'Now I've seen everything.'

z

.S%

'It was just a small branch bank. My wife

and I had simple tastes." "Look, darling, our first bills!"
"//'j- all right. I just tripped on the last step?''
THE
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'/^'j- the
way Pve always dreamed of it just you and me, a million miles from
everyone. Then I ruin everything by forgetting my cigarettes.^''
 r~^
"I've just about resigned myself to your
getting twenty years." "Aunt Claire asked you a
question, dear. Are you the fitcher or the catcher?"

"CAN-CAN"
The lady doing a high kick in a manner fofular in Montmartre
in the nineties is Gwen
Verdon. The other, and more restrained,
girl is Lilo, an interesting importation from, France. Their ad-
mirers are, respectively, Hans Conried and Peter Cookson. The
show, m^ainly the work of Cole Porter, is at the Shubert.
^It was a nice comymssion. They let rne eat the doveP

yMiJi^'t^^

O. SOG-LOW "There now, wouldn't it

have been silly of me to concede that futt?"

BOOK STORS

^.W'j"
$rS -ToM SMiT5

'// seems mighty funny that you men always run out
of m.agic in an isolated s-pot like this."
"/ wish you'd save sotne of that ha-ha-ha and
ho-ho-ho for me."
'Now, this in no way obligates you"

'I suppose we have Mr. Young to thank for this delicious ragout?"
i^atch for stolen car, license 587 J, two-door Dodge, sapphire-white
top, jewel-black hood, and heather-rose side panels."
 "I admtre a man who has the courage of his
"// you haven't been drinking, how come you're so
convictions, Jenkins, but don't let me see you
agreeable all of a sudden?"
around here again in those damn shorts!"
''And just what am I supposed to do with my Sunday s?^^
 ''Dear Alice:
Pm
"Hoii' are you? fine and getting along O.K. Today was my
first day in the rock quarry. I busted up them rocks like nobody's
business. You know how strong I atn, Alice. The guard said he
never saw a guy bust up them rocks so good the first day out .
." .

r^

^, cMuieui-ii^
"Helen tells me you're in the Navy.

You're kidding!"
'And now let's follow our roving camera on a surf rise
visit to an average American home.''

'Dad, can I have the carpet tonight?"

and no one can faint an accusing finger at me and say that I ever took a dollar
jrom any man jar the furtherance of my political ambitions."
f^hJiu^
 "Of course, with the cheaper arrow, if it falls
to earth you know not where, you^re only
out thirty-eight cents."
'They landed in one of those new twin-engine,
single-rotor Sikorsky helicopters
claim to be
some sort of gods."

'Gee, I sure hope whoever Pm going to marry isn't wasting

his money or getting into bad habits."
 'Lord, what a day!"

'Pm sick and tired of having my evenings ruined. Why

"WJiere have you been? Your horse can't you ever commit one of those daring daylight
came back hours ago." robberies I keep reading about?"
 "PLAIN AND FANCY"
The very flam figure in the middle of this valentine is Stefan Schnabel, and the others, beginning with
the songbird in the upper left-hand corner and continuing clockwise, are Barbara Cook, Gloria Mar-
lowe, David Daniels, Richard Derr, Nancy Andrews, Shirl Conway, and Douglas Fletcher Rodgers.
They all appear in the musical about the Amish people at the Mark HelUnger.
 n ' ru
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f^'v^ r^^^
n;

^^ >.\ I
<'"

-*

"Slowly, steadily, the blue-coated troopers closed in for

"VoM /oo^ so cool I could murder you." the kill, their evil faces eager with triumph. It seemed
the end. Then suddenly from the surrounding hills there
many war whoops ."
came the welcome sound of . .
 "And another thing
the ball-point fen, which cost as
much as sixteen dollars when I first took office, is now
available to every man, woman, and child in this state
"7 wonder what brand he smokes."
for as little as twenty-five cents."

"Sure it's a lot of money. But

let's never forget one thing it's counterfeit."
 "-IdgifcSN-.'.'^-tVrffc;.-^^

"Sleep!"

'There he goes departing from the prepared text again."

Oi/w^fWft^
'Superb! I'll buy it.
AMERICA'i PLAYGROUND5
. Si. Augustine
'
GALLERY M LLERY MODER

rtj-gJi"^
"Yes, dear, I'm boivl'ing again tonight."

"He's had enough."

 \

f^

'Well, if you want to know, I just don't

like being taken for granted." "Well, it doesn't give me_ a feeling of insignificance:
 DREAM5 OF
GLOKY

Captain Blood

iM

Breaking the Bank

'// isnH often one sees a bowler these days^
 1 r\ ,-1^ ;

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1 , , 1

I 1

1 1
f

0' Q ^'

"My TO/7<? really a wonderful

woman, but she doesn't understand . . .

"p^si

"This will give those smart alecks in the crime lab something to think about."
 Oi^

me.

'I'll be damned if Pll shake hands with him!"

 /

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c,/>^-,^^^ ;5..-ct

'^oy, ;/ this keeps up, maybe school will he closed tomorrow, too!"

"Now that you're one of us, Adiss Talm,age, may I be

'Well, so far so good, Mrs. Madison. the first toask what you're doing for dinner tonight?"
<^i^

"Could you let me have a fiver till Sunday?''''

cAcm

''Vera! 'Will you marry me?" ""What am I getting next Christmas?"

"Looky young man. The cash value of your $18.75 bond,
as we compute it, has not increased, as of now, beyond the
figure of $18.87 that I gave you this morning."

"My, it's nice and cool in here!"

"... Then the phone rang and I answered it and they asked me the name of the song they were
playing. I told them. Then they sent me a dozen sport shirts and a red cummerbund and a
matched set of alligator airplane luggage and arranged for an all-expense trip to Hollywood^
with an evening at Giro's to be spent in the company of someone called Miss Orange Juice.'*
 d^H<r,s^

"I wish I knew where I could find that friendly neighbor

hood grocer I keep hearing about on television.
 ^S^
'Spring!'*

"Ou est le feuP"

^ ' ~N

'Here's a good buy. It ixas returned by a custoiner

who found he had nothing to say."
'Girls, I'd like you to meet the Reverend Dr. Hopkins, your summer replacement."

5rf'^^'
'My m^other was a fish, and I don't
know who my father was."
 ^

^a>s^

-:^^;?rHao

^'And when you knock him down, go to a neutral corner. "Her damn doll was thirsty.
%
^

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ffh^juy
 ^a2<^
"From these eternal hills my spirit raft
Its never-jailing draughts of color drinks,
Nor knoixs what pageantry ."
. .

/L--.-^

cAiry\

"If you were graduating

"I donH suppose it occurred from Wellesley, which would you prefer?"
to you that some of us mightn't care for Martinis."
 'A'^Xd

'Pas un seul mot en anglais from now on, O.K.?"

'All right, Haskell sell me:

^Just the kind of day that makes you feel good to be aliveV
"You're the boss."
^e/^?<it "Now let's decide which we like best 'Remember,
folks, Klenodent contains anethol !' or 'Klenodent con-
tains less anethol than any other leading toothpaste?
"

"I'd know. That's who would know!"

a.

m p/}mi^

'I'm the one that should be in bed!"

 ^^^-'m

'Imagine all that fuss over just one zvoman!

 ,

'And another feature in case relatives should drof in unexpectedly

this absolutely cannot be turned into a bed."

"What I don't like about chess is

the way you have to sit and -pretend to think!'

"My wife gave it to me for Christmas.''''
"W hatever do you see
in poor little me?"

This one is dated May 10, 1934. You can

no longer go on without me."
"You haven't said a pleasant word in two days!"
"There! A message of good will for all mankindJ^
 Date Due

Due Returned Due Returned

OCT 2 3 !99:

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FEB
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1998

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 UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA

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