ONLY MAARU-DHOLA-NANDAN SECNES

#10
KOI MAR GAYA

CAST MARU AND DHOLA

LOCATION CHIILING SPOT 1

EXT. STREET/DAY

Maru meets Dhola near his house. Maru is seemingly sad.

Marukya hua?
Dholaek hafte phele hamare door ke tau mar gaye..hamare liye do bhiga
zameen chod ke gaye.
Maruyeh to achi baat hai
Dholanahi ..char din phele hamare Saharanpur wale mama mar
gaye..bahut pyar karte the..hamare liye poora makan chod gaye
Maruyeh bhi ache baat hai
Dhola - padson hee hamari nani mar gayi..ek sandook jevar the..humare
naam kar diya..
Dhola pagal hai..toh itna udas kyon hai..
Maru poora din beet gay..abhi tak kisi ke marne ki khabar na aayi!

#15

CAST MARU,DHOLA
LOCATION-CHAI SHOP, Shoot this at ALU BABA JUNCTION

EXT. CHAI SHOP/DAY

Maru comes to the shop. He is panting. Dhola is waiting there for
him.
Dhola itni late a raha hai??
Maru arrre bus choot gayi thibas kee peeche peeche bhagte hue a raha
hoon. Yeh dekh 20 rupiye bach gay.
Dhola tu bewakoof hai..rickshe ke peeche bhagta to 80 rupiye bachte
3
#18
CAST-MARU, DHOLA
LOCATION chilling spot by village shop.

Maru meets Dhola

Dholaaur tere papa ki tabiyat kaisi hai. Khansi band hui..
Maruhaan khaansi to band ho gayi..par saans ruk ruk ke a rahi hai..
Dhola - chinta mat kar bhagwan ne chaha to who bhi band ho jayegi..
Maru- thank you bhai..

4
#19
CAST- MARU AND DHOLA
LOCATION chilling spot 1

Maru and Dhola are sitting near river side. They are drunk.
Dholayaar ek sawal hai man bahut din se..
Maru pooch na bhai..
Maruyaar school mein na pooch paya tujhse poochta hoon.
Dholapocch bhai.
Maruyeh suraj raat ko kyoon nahin nikalta.
Dholakya pata nikalta ho, magar itne andhere mein kisi ko dikhega
kaise..??

5
#27
CAST DHOLA, MARU
LOCATION chilling spot 1

EXT. FIELDS
Maru and Dhola are sitting somewhere in the fields.
Maru yaar nakaratmak soch mane..
Nandannakaratmak soch mane..?
Maru nakaratmak soch..
Nandanchhod na yaar..tere bas ka nahin hai isse samajhna..yeh vidwano
ka kam hai..
Maru (fully excited ) kyon hum bhi mehnat kar ke vidwan ban sakte
hain
Nandan - yehi hai nakaratmak soch..

Maru is still confused.

6
#31
CAST- MARU, Nandan
LOCATION Next to tabela

EXT. AKHADA/DAY
Maru walks up to Nandan who is doing weight training.
Maru bhai Nandan..mujhe pehelwani sikha.
Checks his muscles.
Pehelwan yeh to sab dheela hai.. roz ek mhine 20 roti, adha kilo daal , 5 litre doodh aur 2 darzan ande
kha uske baad ana..
Maru are pehelwan pehelwani seekhni hai..dhaba nahin kholna..

7
#32
SAKARATMAK SOCH
CAST- MARU, Nandan
LOCATION Tank/Nalka

EXT. FIELDS/DAY

Maru yaar sakaratmak soch kya hoti hai

Nandan matlab positive sochna ..
Maru matlab ?
Nandan matlab.. har cheeez ko badha chadha ke acha bolna
Maru jaise ki
Nandan jaise ki ..agar tu amavas ki raat ko bahar nikalta hai ..to chand bhi sochta hai ki maruji a gaye
..to ab hum kyon nikle..

#40
GOD LIYA BACHA
CAST MARU, DHOLA
LOCATION chilling spot 2

EXT. FIELDS/DAY
Maru and Dhola are sitting in the fields.
Dhola yaar goan mein log bolte hain mujhe mere baap ne god liya hai
Maru nahin ..ho hee nahin sakta
Dhola nahin sab bolte hain
MAru arre mumkin hee nahin
Dhola kaise?
Maru arre unhe kisi ko god lena hota toh kisi achche shakal wale bachche ko lete na..
Dhola smiles at the fact that hes not adopted.
9

#41
8 inch
CAST MARU, DHOLA
LOCATION- FIELDS/ Chilling spot 3

EXT. FIELDS/DAY
Maru is walking with dhola
Dhola yaar yeh dawai milli hai .. isse..8 inch ka nikalta hai..
Maru kya baat kar raha hai???
Dhola Kasam sepee kedekh..
Maru quickly drinks it ..maru feel s somethings happening in his stomach
Maru abee ye kya hai..mujhe jhadiyon mein ghusna padega..
Dhola yeh le ja..
Maru- ye kya hai?
Dhola-inchi tapenaap liyo kar 8 inch ka niklega

10

#42
SCENT
CAST MARU, DHOLA
LOCATION-village hang out spot

Maru and Dhola meet another friend who seems like a city boy. Maru sprays something on
him.
Nandan is talking to his friend.
Nandan 600 rupay hai mera walaengland se..
Friend- Mera USA ka hai..tere se zyada tez hai..
Nandan- acha..lekin smell toh nahi aa rahi..
Friend- Haan yaar..smell toh bahut ajeeb si hi aa rahi hai..
They turn to see MARU.
Maru- 5 rupay wale mooli ke paratheyahi gaon ke..
Nandan- Chal bhaag yahan se bhosdi ke..

11
#53
HINDMAHASAGAR
CAST MARU, DHOLA
LOCATION Chilling spot 3

Maru is sitting with Dhola.

Maru tune bhakranangal dam suna hai.
Dhola- nahin
Maru - .hamre tauji ne khod ke banvaya tha..
Dhola tune hindmahasagar suna hai..
Maru (confused)haan..
Dhola hamare pitaji ne moot ke banaya hai..
Maru (confused) Hain??

12
#59
VILLAGE LOVERBOY

WRONG NUMBER

CAST- MAROO, 1 x cycle

To be shot from car on Ronin.
LOCATION- Mountain view road on the way to Alu Baba ashram.

MAROO is on his cycle, he pulls out his phone and dials a number. It
rings. He holds the phone to his ear as he cycles.

A lady answers-
LADY- Hell-
MAROO- Na, hello-shello chhod aaj, seedhey keh de..
LADY- Kya?
MAROO- arre keh de..
LADY- Kya kahun?
MAROO- Wohi..i love you MAROO.
LADY- Maroo
MAROO- Nahi, i love you ke baad aayega MAROO
LADY- Nalayak kahike..Ghar pe phone lagaya hai, mummy bol rahi hoon.
MAROOS cycle moves out of frame, seconds later, sound of a crash.
Props - cycle, phone.

13
#60
VILLAGE LOVERBOY
IM SMARTER

CAST- MAROO, NANDAN

LOCATION- Either Office type building in Rampura OR Office building on
the road to NAND.

NANDAN- Bhool ja bete, naukri toh mujhe hi milni hai..zyada budhimaan

hoon.
Maroo- main nahin maanta..
NANDAN- chal, aazmaa lete hain..main tujhe ek sawaal poochchunga, phir
tu mujhe poochhna. Main jawaab nahi jaanta toh 10 baar uthak baithak
(sit ups) karunga, aur agar tu jawaab nahi jaanta tujhe sirf ek baar
karna hai. Manzoor?
MAROO- Manzoor.
NANDAN- chal pehle tu poochh..
MAROO- woh kaun sa janwar hain jiske subah do aur shaam ko teen pao
hote hain?
NANDAN paces up and down scratching his head in confusion. To his
surprise..hes clueless. Embarrassed, he does 10 sit ups. (uthak
baithak)
MAROO- chal poocchh ab..
NANDAN (panting) - Ruk ja..pehle bata..woh kaun sa jaanwar hai jiske
subah do aur shaam ko teen pao hote hai?
Without wasting any time, MAROO does a sit up.

Props-
Board saying- open interview

14
#64
VILLAGE LOVERBOY

CARROT VISION
CAST- MAROO, DHOLA
LOCATION- Chill spot 4.

EXT. ROCK. DAY

Maroo is chewing on a carrot.

Dhola- tu itne gaajar kyon kha raha hai bhai aaj kal?
Maroo- aankhon ke liye achcha hai..
Dhola- Achcha?
Maroo- aur nahi toh kya..gaajar kaun khata hai?
Dhola- Kaun?
Maroo- Khargosh
Dhola- haan..khargosh..
Maroo- Aur kabhi khargosh ko chashme pehente hue dekha hai?

15
#68
VILLAGE LOVERBOY
CAST- MAROO, Dhola
LOCATION- Chill spot high up. ( cliff between alu baba and amba
village)
Maru and Dhola are on the ghats. Dhola spots a girl bathing topless.
Dhola- dekhgaon ki saari ladkiyan nanga naha rahi hai.
Maroo turns away.
Dhola- kya hua?
Maru- maa kehti hai galat kaam karne se shraap lag jaata hai, insan
pathar ban jaata hai.

Dhola stares down at his crotch.

Dhola- sahi kehti hai yaar, mera toh shuru bhi ho gaya.
16
#86
GYANI
CAST MARU, DHOLA
LOCATION chilling spot 2

EXT. FIELDS/DAY
Maru is smiling, very happy. He is very excited. He meets Dhola.
Maru chal bhai aaj kuch badhiya karte hain
Dhola is little suspicious seeing maru in such good temperament.
Dhola kyon bhai itna kyon phudak raha hai..meenu ne haan bol diya
Maru nahin aaj panditji ne subah subhah hammein gyan diya hai..
Dhola kya
Maru ki jaise jaise umra badhti hai insaan aur gyani hota jata hai..
Nandan Toh khush kyon ho raha hai..pandit ji insaano ki baat kar rahe hain..

17
#87
SIKKA
CAST MARU,Nandan
LOCATION Sitting spot, Lane 1, Lane 2, Main road
Prop- car

EXT. STREETS/OTHER/DAY
MARU meets Dhola.
Maru bahut ho gaya hammein intelligent banna hai.
Dhola teri bas ki nahin hai chutiye
Maru - tum hamesha tang khechte ho
Maru becomes sad. Dhola takes out a rupeyee coin and gives it to maru.
Dhola acha yeh bata.. ek rupiya se tu kaise kisi ko mar sakta hai..
Maru thinks.
Cut to
Lane 1
Maru walking on road, he imagines flinging the coin at somebody. He shakes his head.
Cut to
Lane 2
Maru wants trying to slit dhola throat with a coin.
Cut to
Main road.
Maru walks with the coin on his hand. Suddenly he stumbles on the road, his coin falls. As he stoops to
take the coin a bus on the road crosses over him.
(Maru aaarreee mar gaya optional)

18
#88
RACE
CAST- MARU, DHOLA
LOCTIONS Road to Alu Baba Ashram, Mountain background.
EXT. STREET/DAY
Maru and Dhola are loitering around.
Maru chal race lagate hain..
Dhola kahan tak..
Maru laal kaun tak....harne wala jeetne wale ko 100 rupiya dega..
Dhola haan theek hai..
They both stand alert, on the mark.
Maru dekhte hain phele kaun pahuncta hai.
Dhola par laal kaun ka rasta mujhe pata nahin hai..
Maru mere peeche peeche aa jaa..
Maru oh acha ..
We see Maru running behind Dhola.

19
#93
ANTAR
CAST MARU, DHOLA
LOCATION chill spot 3

EXT. FIELDS/DAY
Maru is sitting with Dhola.
Maru yaar girlfriend aur biwi mein kya antar hai
Dhola kamal hai, tujh itna itna bhi nahin pata..
Maru- tujhe pata hai..
Dhola- bilkul pata hai..
MAru- toh batabiwi aur girlfriend mein pharak kya hai..
Option 1- Jab dono nahin milni toh baar baar sawaal kyon karta hai??
BEAT
Option 2-
Dhola yehi kuch 50-60 kilo ka..

20
#95
SCARECROW
CAST MARU, DHOLA, Nandan/ Pehelwan
LOCATION- FIELD outside Rampur.

EXT. FIELDS/DAY
Maru and Dhola are destroying a scarecrow in a field. They take out
its hands. They cut off its head. They take its clothes of smashes it
on the ground. Suddenly they realize there is somebody at the back.
They turn and find a pehelwan staring straight at them. Maru and Dhola
freeze. Dhola points at Maru. Pehelwan looks at Maru.
Cut to
Maru stands in the field as a scarecrow. A crow comes and sits on Maru
head and shit on him.

21
#99
Chill spot 3
Maru and Dhola
Dhola- tere paas paisa ayega toh kya karega?
Maru- sab se pehle toh ek adishaan makaan banaunga..jisme 10-12 kamre,
20-25 tv, duniya bhar ka khaana, 8-10 gaadi, aur do-do swimming pool
honge..
Dhola- baki sab thik, lekin do swimming pool?
Maru- Unke liye jinko taina nahi aata

22
#101
Location- outside village shop. Dhola walks up to him

Maru meets dhola. Marus hand is bandaged.

Dhola- suna cycle se gir gaya..
Maru- haan yaar..
Dhola- zor ki lagi?
Maru- na, bilkul nahi. kharoch bhi nahi aaya..
Dhola- kya matlab?
Maru- abey mujhe nahi lagiek aadmi chal raha tha kinareuss pe gir
gayi cycle..
Dhola- toh ye patti kay ki?
Maru- wohi aadmi bazaar mein mil gaya

23
#103

Near poultry area. All seated.

Nandan and a group of friends are taking marus piss.

Dhola- oye..pata chala meenu tujhse pyar karne lagii
Friend- Mubarak ho bhai..
Maru- kya bol raha yaar?
Dhola- Sahi bol raha, (turns to friend) diyo isko..
Dhola pulls out aletter and hands it to Maru.
Dhola- dekh..love letter bheja tere liye..
Maru takes the letter and opens it. Its blank.
Dhola and friend smirk.
Maru- yeh toh khali hai..
Dhola- arey woh tere se ishaaron mein baat kar rahi hai..
Friend- uska matlab hai ki woh Khalitere se pya karti hai..

24
#112
Chilling spot
Dhola- Bhai Maru, mujhe lagta hai tu bahut bad aadmi banne wala hai..
Maru smiles.
Dhola- yaar tere paas agar das- barah karod aa jaye..toh mujhe ek
crore dega?
Maru- haan yaar, kyon nahi
Dhola- Das barah gaadi ho jaye toh ek dega..
maru- haan
Dhola- Das barah ghar ho toh ek
Maru- dunga yaar..
Dhola- das barah branded shirt ho toh ek dega?
Maru- Haan bhai
Dhola- Woh toh tere paas abhi se hai..toh de de ek..
Maru just understands hes been played.

25
#115
arrange coat for maru.
Village center spot
Dhola and maru stand at the enterance of a function.
Maru- wah yaar..handsome lag raha hai
Dhola blushes.
Maru- ladkiyan toh pagal ho jayengi.
Dhola blushes even mor
Maru- baal bhi mast banaye..
Maru notices his COAT.
Maru- aur ye kot..wah..itna resham..kis cheez ka banaya?
Dhola- pitaji ke kot ka..

26
#118
chill spot 3
Dhola- Kuch nahi hota kuch condom-wondom se..Dost mar gaya mera yahi
soch kar ki condom pehen liya toh sab theek ho jayega..
Maru- hua kya? phat gaya kya karte samay..????
Dhola- Na yaar, chhamiya ke aashiq ne goli mar di.

27
#119
Village center
DHOLA- Kal CID mein DAYA to mar gaya bhai..
OLD MAN- main phaltu ke karikram nahi dekhta..
DHOLA- phir kya dekhte ho..
OLD MAN- main asli zindagi dekhta hoon..
DHOLA- kaun se channel pe aata hai?

28
#124
Next to big banyan tree.
take CU of Dhola finger with bandage.
MARU and DHOLA sit outside a clinic.
DHOLA is crying.
MARU- Kya hua?
DHOLA- blood test ke liye aaya tha yaar..
MARU- sab thik nikla?
DHOLA- haan yaar..lekin test karaate samay..doctor ne meri ungli kaat
di.
MARU holds his heaad in fright.
DHOLA- kya hua?
MARU- mujhe urine test karvaana tha..

29
#126
Enterence to Rampura OR Sunset point
A Local cricket match is in progress.
MARUs eyes are glued to the dance, DHOLA seems distracted.
MARU- kya hua, baar baar wahan kya dekh raha hai?
DHOLA- apni cycle pe nzar rakh raha hun yaar.
MARU- phikar mat kar koi nahi le jayega cyclegaon wale seedhe hain..
DHOLA- main hi yeh sochta tha, lekin jab se teri cycle gayab hui tab
se nazar rakh raha hun zara..

30
#133
Tea stall. Take suri chess board
MARU AND DHOLA sit by a chai shop with NANDAN, a CHESS BOARD lies
close by.
NANDAN(seeting up the chess pieces on the board)- khelega? .. sau
rupay ki..
MARU-abey bhai tum tohshatranj ke champion hosaara gaon jaanta hai..
NANDAN- Arey nahi yaar..khel le..
MARU- Phaltu ke 100 rupay haar jaunga..
NANDAN- Chal tere khatir baiy haath se khel lunga..
MARU( thinks for a sec)- chal thik hai phir..

31
#135
Villag
e lane
try Reverse dialogues
Maru is walks holding a gunny bag. Dhola moves up to him from behnd.
Dhola- kya le ke jaa raha hai baste mein?
Maru- Tarbooze..
Dhola- Agar main sahi sahi bata doon ki andar kitne haimujhe ek dega?
Maru- Sahi bata diya toh tu dono rakh liyo yaar..

32
#136
Chil spot 1 or 2
Maru- dhola..tu ladki mein kya dekhta hai?
Dhola- dimaag..
Maru- Aur baaki sab..
Dhola- Bhai baaki sab dekhne ke baad hi toh dimaag dekhta hoon..

33
# 138
Village center.
MARU is staring at MEENU, shes on the opposite side of the road.
Dhola- tere paas jameen -jaizat hai?
MARU- nahi.
Dhola- Gaadi..bangla?
MARU- Na..
Dhola- Degree..naukri..
Maru- na
Dhola- shakal..soorat..
Maru - nahi..
Dhola- Toh usko dekhna chhod debas ki nahi hai teri..
Maru- mere bhai..pyar wahan paida hota hai jaha sawaal hi nahi paida
hota.

34
#142
Under big tree.
Doctor in this one
Dhola- kal raat se dekh raha hoon..itna kyun pee raha hai?
Maru- majburi hai bhai..
Dhola- kya hua? papa ne nikal diya?
Maru - nahi
Dhola- mummy ne maara?
Maru- na
Dhola- koi mar gaya kya?
Maru- na
Dhola- dil ka maamla?
Maru- na
Dhola- toh kaisi majburi hai bhai?
Maru- dhakkan kho gaya hai bhai botal ka..

35
#143
Village center
Maru is singing on the streets with a harmonium. Dhola stand next to
him.
Someone chucks a shoe at him.
Maru stops singing, embarassed.
Maru- joote phek rahe hai yaar..band kar raha hoon yeh sab..
Dhola- do minat aur ga le yaar..joda ban jayega jooton ka.

36
#145

Chill spot 3

DHOLA - Ae marua...Kya soch raha hai?

MARU - Yaar dhola, tujhe yeh sochkar aashcharya nahi hota ki andon se
chhote bachche kaise nikal aate hain?
DHOLA - Abbe yeh toh kuch bhi nahi, mujhe toh iss baat ka zyada
aashcharya hai ki voh ande ke andar pehle ghuste kaise hain?
37
#146

Outside docto clinic.

Doctor in this one.

DHOLA is eating something, as MARU sees him.

MARU - Subah subah kya kha rahe ho doctor sahab?

DHOLA - Ye..akkal ki dawa hai ye..
MARU - Lao ek mujhe bhi de.
DHOLA - 20 rupaye ki hai.

MARU gives him a twenty rupee note. Takes the dawa from DHOLA and
gulps it down.

MARU - Abbe ..yeh toh kishmish hai be.

DHOLA - Aagayi na akal

38
#149
Village lane 3- one shot on Ronin

INT. MARU'S HOUSE - DAY

Maru and dhola watch cricket on a TV.

MARU - Oye dholaHumein bhi dhoni jaisa badiya captaan banna hai.
DHOLA - Abbe dhoni koi aise hee dhoni thodi bangaya. Bohot mehnat
lagti hai.
MARU - Aisa kya?
DHOLA - Aur nai toh kya! Dhoni toh captaan banne se pehle TT bhi thaa.
MARU - Toh chal kal hee se hum bhi TT banne ka form bharenge!

39
#158
5. Haath dhokar

Village center
Meenu pases by without noticing maru. He gets sad.

DHOLA - Ae Maruaa..Kya hua?

MARU - Arre hum kabse Meenu ke peeche haath dhokar pade hain. Par ee
sasuri toh bhaav hee nai deti.
DHOLA - Tabhi toh kehta hoon, kabhi muuh dhokar bhi peeche pado.

Add a brand here. Mukesh to buy a bottle each of top 3 indian face
washes.
40
#160

LOCATION - MARU'S HOUSE

Maru is sleeping on the khaat. Dhola comes and wakes him up.

DHOLA - Abbe uthh be haraami. Kitna soyega!

MARU - Arre ka hua. Achcha bhala sapna dekh rahe thee.
DHOLA - Kaisa sapna?
MARU - Arre hum dono sadak par chal rahe thee aur ekdam se tu tatti
mein gir gaya aur hum shahad mein (honey)!
DHOLA - Zaroor tu mujhe chaat raha hoga aur main tujhe!

41
#161

Village center
Meenu passes by.

Dhola - Ek baat batayenge..

MARU - Haan puchh na..
Dhola - tu neMeenu mein aisa kya dekh liya jopyaar ho gaya?
MARU - Abhi kuch dekha kahan hai..sab kuch dekhne ke liye hee toh
pyaar kiye hain!

42
#163

Village lane

Maru walks towards Dhola with excitement.

DHOLA - Abbe kya hua, aaj teri chaal mein bada uchaal hai?
MARU - Humne sochliya hai
DHOLA - Kya?
MARU - Harr koi neta bann raha hai. Ab humko bhi neta banna hai!
DHOLA - Marua..Tu pagal hai kya?
MARU - Hona itna zaroori hai kya?

43
#164
2. Roz Roz ka hagna
Near tabela.
Maru and Dhola watch TV at a shop when suddenly Maru remembers
something.

MARU - Oye dhola, chal main nikalta hoon, zaroori kaam hai.
DHOLA - Kahan jana hai?
MARU - Arre main rojana purane seth ke ghar ke bahar hagne jaata hoon.
DHOLA - Kyun?
MARU - Usne humein naukri se nikala thaa na!
DHOLA - Toh?
MARU - Toh saale ko yeh to pata chale ki main naukri ke bina bhooka
nai mar raha hoon!

44
#165
3.
chill spot

EXT. ROAD - DAY

(Replace DHOLA with Doctor)

Meenu walks by holding a bunch of books and smiles when she sees Maru.
Maru turns to Dhola.

MARU - Yaar dhola.. humaari Meenu ko padhna bohot pasand hai. Shaadi
ke baad hum usse college karvaayenge, B.A karvaayenge, M.A
karvaayenge, aur phir sarkari naukri bhi lagvaayegein.
DHOLA - Ab saare baap vaale kaam kar hee raha hai toh ek achcha sa
ladka dhoondkar shaadi bhi karva hee diyo!

45
#166
4.

Chill spot
EXT. ROAD - DAY

Maru runs towards Dhola with a wide smile on his face. He goes and
hugs Dhola.

MARU - Oye dhola..Badhaai ho. Aaj see humaare gareebi ke dinn khatam!
DHOLA - Voh kaise?
MARU - Humne ek bohot hee badiya business socha hai.
DHOLA - Business.
MARU- Business! Baraf ka Business..
(BEAT)
MARU - Hum thannd mein barff saste mein khareedenge aur garmi mein
mehengi bechenge!

46
#172

CAST MARU, DHOLA

LOCATION ROADS

EXT. ROAD DAY

Doctor at desk

MARU Oye dhola..kal hum meenu ji ko shaadi ke liye pooch rahein hain!
DHOLA Arre waah. Badiya guldasta lekar jaaio. Hume filmon mein dekha
hai.
MARU Haan haan pakka le jaayenge. Aur kya kya karna hota hai?
DHOLA Kuch nahi, bas jakar I love you boldiyo seedha.

MARU gets excited.

DHOLA Par haan, I love you bolte waqt Meenu ji ka haath pakad liyo.
Humne filmon mein dekha hai!
MARU kyun?
DHOLA taaki tere gaal par chapat na lag jaaye!

47
#174

Chill spot 4
DHOLA Ae Maruaa..Ek baat bata?
MARU Haan pooch?
DHOLA Agar tujhe sadak par ek 100 ka note aur ek 500 ka note gira
mile toh kaunsa uthaayega?
MARU Arre ismein kya poochna hai! 500 ka hee uthaaunga.
DHOLA Tu hai hi bewakoof..
Maru -Kyun?
DHOLA- Dono kyun nahi uthaa sakta?

48
#175

Chill spot 4/ Maru house/ Village center

EXT. ROAD - DAY

DHOLA Abbe ae maruaa..tu kal doctor ke clinic se bhaag kyun aaya re?
MARU Abbe nurse baatein hee kuch aisi kar rahi thi!
DHOLA Matlab?
MARU Keh rahi theeghabraiye mat, do minat ke liye hi ghusana hai..
DHOLA are sui hi toh lagani thi, itna kyon darna
MARU Are woh sui ki baat nahi kar rahi thi yaar..

49
#178

CAST MARU, DHOLA

LOCATION Jalebishop next to suri hotel

EXT. ROAD - DAY

Maru and Dhola stand eating samosas. A COW stares at them.

MARU Oye yaar dhola..yeh gaaye-bhains samosa dekhkar kya sochte hain
be?
DHOLA Wohi jo hum langoor ke muh mein gulab jamun dekh ke sochte hai

50
#179

CAST MARU, DHOLA

LOCATION Village lane 2

EXT. ROAD - DAY

Maru and Dhola walk on the road when Maru stops as he sees a pretty
girl who walks by. Maru smiles at the girl who smiles back.

MARU Oye dhola...

DHOLA Kya hua be?
MARU Dekh voh ladki mujhe dekh kar kabse muskura rahi hai!
DHOLA- Bas?
MARU- Bas matlab?
DHOLA Abbe pagle yeh toh kuch bhi nahi, jab maine teri shakal pehli
baar dekhi thee toh main toh ek hafte tak hasse the!

51
#180

CAST MARU, DHOLA

LOCATION Daily Spot

EXT. ROAD - DAY

Maru and SHOLA are lost deep in thought. NANDAN wlaks up to them.

NANDAN Ae Marua..kya soch raha hai be?

MARU Yahi ki baarish ka mausam aane vaala hai.
NANDAN Toh?
MARU - Maa kehti hai baarish se kismat khul jaati hai..
NANDAN- Uska pata nahin, lekin tere liye achcha zaroor hai
MARU- Kaise?
NANDAN 2 mahinon se jo tu ne muh nahi dhoya..woh saaf ho jayega..

52
#182

Cast Maaru,
Location - Mandir steps

MARU and DHOLA are at ghats. They spot a lovely shirt lying by the
ghats.

DHOLA- wah yaar..kya shirt hai..

MARU- sochna bhi mat lene ki..
MARU points to a board kept beside the shirt..
BOARD-
ye joote ik phalwan ke hai,uthane se phale soch lien

CUT to LATER-
DHOLA meets MARU. DHOLA is wearing the same shoes we saw earlier.

MARU- abe yeh toh woh..

DHOLA nods.
MARU- Lekin..
DHOLA- hum bhi toh champion hai..

main paanch baar Ka race mein school champion huh, picha Karne se
phale soch lena

53
#183

Radio jockey

Cast Maaru, radio jockey

Location Village lane 2

We see Maaru visibly drunk dialling red fm number

Radio jockey red fm 98.3 mein aapko swagat hai.ji farmaaye?

Maaru opens bag zip

Maaru mujhe link road par ek Seema naam ki ladki Ka purse mila hai,
jis me 12000 rupyee, ek Samsung mobile ,ek ring ,aur kuch card hai !
Radio jockey Acha toh aap wapis Karna chate hai ?

Maaru ji nhi .main chata huh aap Seema ji ke liye ek dard Bhara
gaana chala de !
54
#187

Cast Maaru , dhola

Location Village lane 1- On scooter.

We see Maaru and dhola are going somewhere on a scooter. Dhola is

riding, he looks completely lost.

MAruabe hum ja kaha rhe hain?

Dholalong drive pe !
Maruabe salle phale kyun nhi bataya?
Dholamujhe bhi abhi pata chla !
Maru. Kaise..?
Dholabreak nahi lag rahe !
(keep performances in this one subtle)

55
#191

Cast- Maaru, Dhola

Location- Daily Spot 2

DHOLA- tere liye dosti zyada badi hai ki pyar?

MARU- dono
Dholayeh bata..agar tera dost aur teri girlfriend saath doob rahe hai
toh kisko bachaega?
Marukisi ko nahi.
Maaru - kyo?
Maru- saale saath kar kya rahe hai pehle toh?

56
#19

girlfriend

Cast dhola,Maaru
Location Shop in village

Friend- arre yaar..kya bataun..ladki pata toh li..lekin use sambhalne-

ghumaane mein jeb hi phat gayi..
Nandan- arre woh toh phatne hi thi..ab Marua Ko dekh lo..Bina ladki
pataye jeb phati rahti hai saale ki..
Friend- woh kaise bhai?
Nanda- Arrey jeb phata nahi rahe toh haath kaise pahunchega saala ?
57
#195
Ji

Cast dhola ,Maaru

Location village centre, Chabootra in backdrop

Dhola yaar, tujhe koi jab naam puchta hai..tab jikyu lagta hai..
Maaru ji,maaru ji !
Maaru Dekh.jab tak main Khud ki ijjat nhi krunnga toh Dusre Kase
krenge , maaru ji kitna Acha lagta hai na!

Dhola Acha Acha, ab Samj aa gaya..

Maru- kya?
Dhola-sabhi Teri itni ijjat kyu Krte hai !

58
#199
Diwali

Cast dhola,Maaru
Location village lane 3

We see Maaru passing thorugh a Galli , meenu cross him and gives a
angry look

Cut to
Nandan- kya marua ..bahut khush lag raha hai..
Maru- Meenu se milne jaa raha hun..
Nadna- achcha..kyon bhai?
Maru- subah subah ro rahi thi..manaane ja raha hoon..
MaaruBhosdi ke ladki hai woh, diwali nahi, jo itna shaukh se manaane
ja raha hai..
59
#202
gharwali

Cast dhola,Maaru
Location village centre

Maruyaar main soch rha huh ..shaadi kar lu !

Dholaabe pagal ho gaya hai kya!
Dhola abeshaadi kar rha huh..koi jua thodi Khel raha hoon! !

Dholasalle Biwi kameeni cheez hoti hai, Sab kuch bech degi tera..
Dhola - isi liye toh..
Dhola- koi seedhi-saddhi mil gayi kya?
Maaru na yaar, kuch hai hi nahi toh bechegi kya?

60
#208
MBA
Cast dhola,Maaru
Location village lane 3

Nandan bhai graduation toh ho gaya ..ab soch raha hoon MBA
karoon..Lekin pata nahi diili mein karoon ya bambai mein..
Maru- are utna door kyun jaana..yahi jila university se kar lo..
Nandan- Achi university hain..?
Maru- arey ekdum first class hai, humare tau bhi wahin se MBA kiye
hai..
Nandan- karte kya hai tumhare tau?
Maru- chowkidaari karte wahi par..

61
#210

shaking car

cast dhola,Maaru
Location outskirts rampura/nand village

We see Maaru and dhola going somwhere when they reach outside village
. They see a shaking car

MaaruBhai ye iske Kya Ho rha hai hai?

Dhola mohhobat Ko aanjaam Diya jaa rha hai !

62
#213
message
Cast dhola,Maaru
Location village centre/Chowk

Maaru meenu bhut gussa hai yr aaj ?

Dhola kyu ?
Maaru wo na Kal mane uske golgappo ke paise nhi diye na toh !
Dhola kyu paise nhi the pass !
Maaru paise toh the par wo ..
Dhola Acha Acha .beta mana kiya toh,paise bhi nhi..chal koi na msg
kar maan jaayegi !
Maaru nhi yaar main nhi krna !
Dhola chal koi in ..main Krta huh !

Maaru abe nhi ,nhi nhi !

Dhola kyu?
Maaru wo handwriting phachaana jaayegi toh !

(COME BACK AND FIX THIS ONE)

63
#216
bra

Cast dhola,Maaru
Location village lane 3

We see Maaru going through a Galli , suddenly a bra falls on Dholas

head. Dhola pulls it off and observes it carefully. Both if them turn
and look in the direction it came from.

Maaru. hey Bhagwan .Kya din aa gaye... Aam koi aur kha rha hai, aur
chilke hum pe fek rahe hai !

64
#218
Baap Kase banunga
Cast dhola,Maaru
Location Daily Spot 2

Maruyaar baap Kaise bannte hai ?

NandanLeni padti hai..
Maru juth. bachpan mein papa toh kehte hai ki beta aasmaan se ek pari
aayegi aur wo tumhari biwi ko bacha de de degi !
Nandan laughsand everyone present laugh. Everyone except DHOLA.
Dholamainsamjha nahi..Leni kiski haibiwi ki ya pari ki?

65
#225

Location- maaru house

Maaru (VOICE OVER)Kitne bure din aa gaye..koi milta nahi, koi yaad
nahi karta..phone toh naya le liya lekin bajta hi nahi saala..koi yaad
nahi karta, koi nahi poochhta..koi sacha dost hai hi nahi mera.
Suddenly his phone rings.

CU of Phone with Greenscreen- On it- DHOLA CALLING..

MARU (VO)- sirf ye hai mera asli dost..

He answers the phone.
Maru- Haan bhai..kya ho raha hai?
Dhola- Maru???Sorry yaar galti se lag gaya..

66
#227
Cast dhola,Maaru
Location road

We see Dhola and Maaru are going somewhere on bike. Maru is riding.
The bike comes to a sudden halt.

DholaKya hua..Rok kyu di?

Maru- Khud hi ruki hai !!
Dhola Kaise ??
Maru- lagta hai petrol khatam ho gayaab aage nahi ja payenge..

Maaru toh mod le phir, wapas ghar hi jaate hai..

67
#230

Location- rampura centre chabootra in backdrop

Dhola walks up to Maru who is standing with Nandan and a friend. Maru
is handing him some money. Nandan and his friend collect the money and
leaves..

Maaru aur yeh poore panch sau..

Nandan- ok phir, tata!
Dhola Paise kis liye?
Maaru shart lagai thi..haar gaya..
Dhola kis pe..
Maru- kal ke match pe..india jeete jeete haar gayi..
Dhola- pata hain, main bhi raat ko dekh raha tha..
Maru- Achcha?? Lekinmatch toh aaj subah ka tha yaar..
Nandansaaleykohighlight dikhe ke kaat diya

68
#232

cast-Dhola and Maaru

Location- Maaru house

Dhola and Maaru are in living room, Maaru lost in thoughts and feeling
sleepy.
Dhola- Abey mukhya ka bhateeja mar gaya..
Maaru- pata hai
Dhola-lala ki bhains ne bachhda diya..
Maaru- pata hai..
Dhola- doctor sahab ko malaria ho gayi..
Maaru- pata hai..
Dhola- Kal raat tere ghar pe bijli nahi thi..
Maaru-pata hai..
(Dhola gets irritated)
Dhola-teri behn mujhse set Ho gaya..
Maaru-Pata hai..

69
#233
cast- Maaru and dhola
Location- bus stand

Maru and dhola stand at a crowded place.

Dhola- Maru.. duniya mein sabse jayda Maari Jane walli chiz Kya hai.
?
Maaru- kya bheed mein anth-santh sawaal poochh raha hai..
Dhola- Bata na..
Maaru- kya batana..hum dono ko hi pata hai..
Dhola- kar ke bata na..
Maru- abey pagal ho gay hai kya..Log itne khade hain..
Dhola- kar de..10 rupay dunga
Maru- chal be..tu kar ke dikha..main tujhe bees rupay dunga..
Dhola pulls out his phoneafter a second.. Marus beeps.
Dhola- Le kar diyamissed call.

70
#240

cast- dhola and Maaru

Location- Daily spot 2

Maaru innocently to Dhola

Maaru-sun na
Dhola- Bol
Maaru- wo Tere Bhai ki setting thi
Dhola- haan thi
Maaru-wo usko Kya bulati thi
Dhola- jaanu
Maaru- hain....
(Maaru lost in deep thoughts)
Dhola- kya hua?
Maaru-jab koi kisi ko bander bulaaye....toh Kya wo us se pyar Kriti
hai ..
Dhola- haan Kriti hai....par wo wala nhi...jo tu soch rha hai !!

71
#243

Cast dhola,maaru
Location village centre

Maaru aaj na kuch bhi Ho jaaye

Dhola Kya kuch bhi Ho jaaye!
Maaru kuch bhi Ho jaaye hum nhi jaaynge!!
Dhola kaha nhi jaayenege ?
Maaru jaha hum se koi ijjat se na Baat kre !
Dhola toh Phir yaha Kya karne aaye ho?

72
#250) Chutiye

Cast- Maaru,dhola
Location- VIllage centre

Maaru yaar Humse har koi itni badtameezi se Baat kyu karta hai?
Dhola Kisne badtameezi se Baat ki mere Bhai se.
Maaru har koi bolta hai .
Dhola Kya bolte hain?
Maaru jo Dekho bolta renta hai..Maaru lo far hai,Maaru aawara
ghumta hai,Maaru lucha hai,Maaru kisi Kaam Ka nhi hai,Maaru ye
karta hai, aur pata nhi Kya Kya..
Dhola Mujhe pata hai..
Maru- Kya?
Dhola- chutiya bhi bhi kehte hai.

73
#251

Cast dhola,Maaru
Location- farm

We see Maaru and dhola are sitting on tube well,dhola using Facebook
on his phone and Maaru
Maaru - Mera Facebook Pe account Ban Sakta hai kya ?

Dhola -Haa Ban sakta hai..tera kya , kisi ka bhi ban sakta hai.
Maaru - Toh Main apne account mein Paisa jama kara sakt hu .. ?

Dhola Gives a Surprised Look

Maaru - Kya Hua .. ? Lagta Hai Tere ko bhi Zyada Knowledge Nahi hai
Iss baare mein.

74
# 255

Balance

Cast dhola,Maaru

Location- Village centre

Maru pulls out his new phone. Dhola stands close by looking at
the sky.
Maru- yaar balance check karna tha..samajh nahi aa raha kaise
karun..
Dhola kicks him, maru falls down
Dhola- balance toh bahut hi kharab hai bhai tera..

75
#259

Location- Daily spot 3

Maru- aaj na ..meenu ji ne inkar kar diya humein..

Dhola- toh ab..
Maru phir try karene..koi ek paper mein fail Ho jao toh Iska matlab
ye thodi ki Padhna hi chhod de.
Dhola- lekin asal mein toh tu ne yehi kiya tha
MAru- ek bolne ki baat hai sirf..

76
#262

Location- Maaru house

Maru calls customer care.

Customer care Namashkar, main hoon Tanya airtel se..
Maaru Namashkar ji..ek problem ho gayi hai..
Customer care Ji kahiye..
Maaru Humara ek doggy thajimmy.
Customer care- Ji..
Maaru- Woh bhaag gaya hai ghar se..
Customer care- Ahem..aa..ji.
Maru- poora gaon chhan maar liya lekin mila nahi..
Customer care- Dekhiye iss mamle mein main aap ka kuch nahi kar
sakti..hum ek telecom company hai..
Maru- arey doggy sim card kha ke bhaag gaya..
Customer care- toh main kya karun?
Maru- roaming band kara do!

77
#263

Location- Daily spot

Nandan- ey maruasamajh ki hum tumhe das lakh dete hai..

Maru- kya?
Nandan- arre samajh na..tere baap ka kya ja raha hai..
BEAT
Nandan- toh hum tumhe das laakh dete hai..usmein se ek lakh tum
kharcha kar do aur ek lakh hum wapas le letoh bache kitne lakh..?
Maru- humre paas?
Nandan- haan!
Maru- panch bache phir toh ..
Nandan- Hain? Panch kaise?
Maru- Arrey samajh na..tere baap ka kya ja raha hai?

78
#268

Location- Daily spot

Maaru yaar Kal meenu Ka birthday hai,samjh nhi aa rha use Kya dun?
Dhola - phool khareed ke de de..
Maaru mazzak mat kar yaar, kuch bada sa dena chahta hoon!
Dhola toh mera de de !

79
#272

Cast dhola,Maaru
Location village lane 2

We see Maaru on cycle. He bangs into Nanadan. Nandan falls.

 Nandan Abey chutiye..ghanti nhi maar Sakta Kya?
Maaru Bhai, Puri cycle maar di,ab ganti Baaki kya maarna?

80
#273
Cast dhola,Maaru
Location Daily spot 2

We see Maru and Dhola sitting with NANDAN.

Maaru yaar koi Ganda joke suna na.

Dhola ek sunder hot ladki hoti hai.
Maaru haan.
Dhola- usne short skirt aur top phana Hota hai.
Maaru haan.
Dhola wo kichad mein gir Jaati hai.
Maaru in excitement
Maaru aage?
Dhola aage Kya uske kapde gande Ho jaate hain..

(COME BACK AND FIX THIS- keep function a link between a metaphor
being mistaken as a literal anecdote)

#279

Location- Village centre

Maru Stands next to a big male buffalo. Nandan stands close by..
Maru- haan bhai nandan..ye bail maarta hai kya?
Nandan- gay ki toh maarta hai..ab pata nahi teri maarega ya nahi..

81
#280

Location- Daily Spot 2

MARU is reading a paper. DHOLA stands close by.

MARU (reading from the paper)- sattar saalon mein kal sab se badi baad
aayi jile meinkarodon ka nuksaan hua..
MARU- kaee factory aur kaarkhaane bhi band ho gaye..
Dhola- Waise Mercedes company ko 70 lakh ka jhatka pada..
Maru- 70 laakh???
Dhola nods.
Maru- baadd se?
Dhola- nahi, mere gharwalon ne dilane se inkar kar diya..

82
#282
Location-OUTDOOR SPOT

Nandan holds a red color drink.

Nandan- Wah yaar kya taste hai!!! Mazaa hi aa gaya..
Maru walks into frame.
Maru- kya pee rahe ho bhai?
Nandan- nayi cold drink nikli hai..pan masala cola!
Maru- dikhao zara hum bhi le ek ghoot..
Nandan- ek hi hai, main nahi de raha..
Maru- arrey do na bhai..
Nandan hands him the bottle.
Maru take a huge sip.
Maru- wah yaar..kya taste hai..ekdum..ekdum..
A man walks into frame.
Maru- Namaste sharma ji..kya kha rahe ho akele akele?
Sharma- paanNandan..woh bottle kaha hai jisme main thook raha tha?

83
#283

Location- Akhada

NANDAN is doing body-building excercises.

MARU walks up to him.
MARU- haan bhai NANDAN, badi mehnat ho rahi hai..
NANDAN ignores him.
MARU- yeh batao..ek baar mein kitne logo ko utha sakte ho?
NANDAN- teen ..nahi nahi ..chaar..
MARU- chhe..bas! tum se achcha toh humri gully ka kutta haisubah
bhokta hai toh poore moholle ko utha deta hai!

84
#289

Location- Village lane

Nandan is drunk, he yells out to MARU.

Nandan- abey kaha ja raha hai badsurat
Maru- Bazaar ja raha hoon sharaabi..
Nandan- Mere sharab ka nasha toh subah uth kar uttar jaega..lekin tere
chehre ka kya hoaga?
Maru- Subah tumre uthne se pehle tumri amma ko bol dunga humre chehre
pe beauty pack lagane ko

85
#290

Location- Village lane

Dhola- aa bada khush lag raha hai bhai..
Maru- haan yaar..
Dhola- kya hua?
Maru- hum Meenu ji se milne gaye the..
Dhola- aur?
Maru- Bol diya..i love you..
Dhola- aur??
Maru- usne mujhe thappad mar diya..
Dhola- toh itne khush kyon ho?
Maru- poori hatheli humare gal se chipki hui thi chalo aaj thappad ke
bahaane humko touch karne ki khwaish toh puri hui unki..

86
#301

Location- Tree in village

Dhola is sitting under a tree reading a paper. Maru sits close.

Maru- kehte hain pagalpan, hassi aur sex karne se aadmi ka dimaag
zyada tez chalta hai..
Maru- Bas sex ki kami hai warna hum bhi newton ke baap hote..