The Secret Book

of
HELPFUL Rules

Name: __________________________

for School

Your name: ……………………………….. Year Level: ………

HOW TO USE “The Secret BOOK of HELPFUL Rules”

Sometimes at school you are not sure what to do and sometimes you
make a mistake and it makes you feel uncomfortable and may make you
stressed….

Sometimes when you read the rules in your school diary it can be
confusing…. in fact not many of these helpful rules are in your school
diary…the rules in this book are written just for you

The purpose of this book is to help you work out what to do. Other
kids in the school don’t know much about you and maybe you don’t know
much about them SO you can use this book to help you work out what
are the best things to do at school

To use the book so that it helps you get better at understanding the
secret rules better you need to:

1. read over the rules (at least once a week) until you have a good
knowledge of them

2. keep the book secret … maybe you could keep it at home…you can
show it to Mum or Dad

3. when you have a problem – find some secret rules that you think
will help sort the problem out AND then ask an adult (Mum, Dad or
SEU teacher or teacher aide) for their advice to make you have
chosen the most helpful rule for the problem

Why don’t you read the

secret book and find out
Hey, I’m getting what you can do…I think
into trouble in class you should read 22, 23 and
because the teacher 24..that will help…the you
says I’m always could ask Miss in private to
talking and not make sure you have chosen
doing my work the best rule ..good luck
Out of class rules
1. Ask permission before leaving your classroom during class time
(e.g. to go to the toilet)
2. Ask permission quietly –don’t call out
3. Keep your clothes tidy (buttons and shoe laces done up)
4. Do not stare at others in the toilet, playground, walkways
5. Play games by the rules
6. Be a ‘good’ winner or loser – don’t say things that make other
people in the game feel bad
7. Know what areas are out of bounds in the school
8. Use the correct Year level toilets – the year levels are written near
the door
In –Class rules
1. Get your books and pencil case out of your bag and put your
bag where the teacher has told you
2. Take your hat off and put it in your bag
3. Don’t bring white out to class –it’s against the school rules
4. Raise your hand in classes to get your teacher’s attention –
don’t call out
5. It’s OK to make a mistake –just cross it out neatly and do
again or use your eraser
6. If someone or something is bothering you in the classroom
and you feel uncomfortable if you can ask them quietly to stop
and explain to them why you are upset- if they don’t stop get
help from the SEU teacher –but do it calmly and never call out
rudely
7. Make sure you move around the classroom carefully –try not
to disturb others or touch desks or bags
8. If you have to read try to read in your mind and not out aloud
9. Always be on time to class
10. Line up with your
class and wait quietly for the teacher
11. Keep your hands
and feet to yourself while lined up
12. If you can’t write
the notes from the board- ask the SEU teacher for help
13. Don’t keep asking
questions in class about 5 each lesson is enough- it may
bother other students and the teacher if you are always
asking questions-you can use an email to your teacher if you
have a question about the class work
14. Show good
listening skills (look toward your teacher when they are
talking, don’t bump things on your desk or make a noise)
15. Listen for
instructions that tell you what will happen next like: “you have
5 minutes more to finish before moving on”
“today in class we will ………. and then in the last part of the
period we will……..”
16. Some teachers
use other ways of teaching in the classroom where the
teacher doesn’t always speak to the class. You need to know
what these mean. Sometimes a teacher might:
 stand next to the desk of a student who is not
doing their work
 they may use hand gestures (point, stop signal)
meaning “Don’t keep doing that I’m not happy
with what you are doing or “look here at this on
the board”
 they may frown meaning they are not pleased
with behaviour or output of work by the class,
 they may tap the desk or whiteboard to get
everyone’s attention
17. Don’t eat in class
or chew gum, check with your teacher it a water bottle is OK
18. Keep your very
personal information to yourself –other students don’t want to
know personal things about your mum or dad or other
members of your family
19. When the teacher
asks the class to clean up the mess on the floor or stack the
chairs – you need to help too
20.Don’t get up and go out of class as soon as you hear the
bell- this could make your teacher upset with you
21 When a teacher tells you to sit at a particular chair and desk
in the classroom- this could happen if the teacher wants you to
work in a group- stay at that desk for the whole lesson or until
the group has finished working
22.If a teacher tells someone else to stop talking in class, then it
is a good idea if you are talking to stop also
23.If someone else is getting into trouble from the teacher it is
not a good time for you to interrupt or ask questions, or try to
help the other student
24.If your teacher gives you a warning about your behaviour
and you do not stop doing the wrong thing you will get into
trouble but if you stop the bad behaviour you will not …you have
to make a good choice
25. Figure out when it is OK to tell on another student….if the
student is teasing or bullying you it is OK to tell and you should
do it but don’t tell on a student every time you see them do
something you think is wrong. It is the teacher’s job to make
other students behave not yours.
26.If other students are fighting or bullying each other it is OK to
tell the teacher (make sure you do this is private, not in front of
the class) BUT if they are fooling around and it looks to be in a
friendly (the students are not hurting each other and maybe
laughing) or having pretend fights then don’t tell the teacher (the
other students will likely think you are a “dobber” –this can make
you have big problems with other students)
27. If you are going into a staffroom, or a office of the Deputy
Principal for example, you need to knock on the door (about 3 or
4 times) not too loud (just so the person in the room can hear
your knock) and wait until you are asked to come in.
28. Also knock on the door if you are late to a classroom – you
should have a late note or a note from Mum or Dad explaining
why you are late…then go to the teacher and say “I’m sorry I’m
late, here is my note” –then go to your desk and quietly get your
book and pencil case from your bag-if your teacher or SEU
teacher does not give you the work the class is doing…put your
hand up and ask what you should be doing-be polite.
 29. When the teacher is talking to the class –you and the rest of
the class need to listen and concentrate on the topic the teacher
is talking about- you may know a lot about the topic but other
students may not, so save all your knowledge in your head and
when you have an assessment on the topic you can use all your
knowledge to get a very good mark- the teacher will not like it if
you interrupt the classroom when she is talking to the other
students
30. If your class has a guest speaker remember not to interrupt
the speaker when they are talking to the class – guest speakers
always leave time at the end of their talk for the audience to ask
questions that is when you can talk to the guest politely
31. If your assessment is going to be late get your SEU teacher
or teacher aide to help you fill out a Variation to Assessment for
your teacher- this is very important
Some social rules…..
1. Be careful what you say to other people at school…these are
things that you would not say because it is really rude if you
do...
 you have bad breathe (even if they do…don’t say it!)
 you stink or smell
 your hair is awful
 your clothes are untidy or dirty
 you farted (even if they did…don’t say it!)
 anything nasty about another student’s mum, dad, sister or
brother
 any words that are about another student’s colour of his/her
skin
 any sex words that call another student a name like ‘gay’
‘lesbo’ – you get the idea!
 talk to other students about ‘zits’ or pimples on their face –
they know the pimples are there and they are usually
embarrassed by them
 tell another person or ask a question about being fat, too
skinny, poor, too tall, too short etc
 a swear word to a teacher or other student – it might be OK
to say the words in your head if you really need BUT never
out aloud in public
  even if you know someone has said something incorrectly
don’t correct them- it will embarrass them and they will not
want to be around you
 don’t say the same thing (like a joke) to your classmates over
and over again…. they will probably laugh BUT it won’t be at
your joke they will probably be laughing at you because they
think you are a dawk for repeating the same thing too many
times….the first time it may have been funny but not the tenth
time you have said it!
 “dirty”jokes” are mainly about sex and sometimes it is best
not to repeat the joke …remember some jokes you would tell
your friends (boys) and some joke you would not tell your
teacher or other adults or girls…if you don’t know if the joke is
dirty or not, maybe tell the joke to an adult you trust (Mum or
Dad) and let them tell you if the joke is appropriate

2. Be careful what you do to other people at school…these are

things you would not do because it is really rude if you do….
 argue with others because they have a different opinion and
you cannot agree with them….everyone has the right to think
about things different and many people will think differently to
how you think…you can’t change how others think or feel…so
don’t even try. It is their personal opinion and it is OK if it is
different to yours.
 never pick at your teeth or other body parts in the classroom
or playground (that is in public places)
 never scratch your bottom or private parts even if they are
itchy in the classroom or playground – try and go to the toilet
as soon as you can to fix the problem (this will be private)
 never pick at sores or scabs - really not a good idea at all!
 when other students are angry, hurt or crying do not laugh at
them this will make them feel worse – the situation is not
funny for them – if you are think you are going to laugh make
sure you are away from them and that they don’t see you

 touch other people at school like:

 - stroke/touch someone’s hair/skin, even if it looks nice to
touch
- touch someone’s private parts or let someone touch
yours
- hug someone instead of shaking hands or giving a high
five
- put your arms around someone at school (this maybe
OK at home with your family, that’s more private)
- hit other people, even if you didn’t mean it
 don’t go up to a person you don’t know or haven’t met and ask
for food, a lend of something they have
 try not to walk around the school talking out aloud or singing to
yourself, other students will not understand this and likely make
fun of you (tease you about it)
 if your parents drop you off to school, act cool, just say
goodbye don’t hug or kiss mum goodbye…most other kids
don’t and you want to be cool and fit in at school
 try not to imitate or copy other students or follow a particular
student or group of students around in recess…this will make
you unpopular with them….better to find a friend that you can
hang out with OR go to the library (maybe if you ask you could
get a job to do at lunch breaks)
 think about why and who people at school are laughing
….sometimes people laugh because something is really funny
(like in a comedy movie or cartoon or a funny joke has been
told) and that is perfectly OK BUT sometimes people laugh at
other people (making fun of them) and when this happens
these people are laughing not because they think the person is
funny but they are laughing to be hurtful and nasty to the
person being made fun of….now that’s not OK.
It is hard to tell the difference sometimes between being
genuinely really funny (something funny happens) and being the
cruel, hurtful and nasty fun some people like to have.

You need to do a little thinking and detective work in your head to sort out
if something is really just funny or something is nasty, hurtful funny.
Questions to ask yourself in your thinking:
What’s funny (like a movie, a joke or cartoon) about the situation?
You need to look very closely at the people around you and decide…
Is everyone laughing– do you think someone might be feeling
uncomfortable or saying something like “that’s not funny”?
Is someone “left out” of the joke or situation and you think you can tell
they “don’t get it” and they look upset by the situation?

If you think about these questions you can decide if you want to stay
and be part of the group or whether you should leave.

One more thing…. it could be YOU that others are making fun and if you
don’t think about the situation and ask those detective questions in your
head you could be the person others are laughing at….THEN it would
be a good time for you to leave and talk to a trusted adult about what
you think and feel ….
People who laugh at others to be nasty and hurtful are bullies and need
to be told that doing so is totally unacceptable behaviour.

3. A few tricks to talk to other people at school (or anywhere) …

talking has some special rules….
 when a friend or classmate is talking to you make sure you
show them you are interested in what they are saying by:
- trying to give eye contact (do this the very best you can)
- sometimes you might find it easier to stand not directly in
front of the person but just off to their side like this…

- listen and nod or say “uh hah”, “yeah” to let them know
you are listening
- when they finish what they are saying, you could ask a
question or talk about something you know about the
same topic

If you don’t show them that you are interested in what they
are saying they will loose interest in talking to you and
probably stop talking to you.
 When you are near others in your class make sure there is
about a nose to finger-tip space between you and them

You need to learn to

good personal
space
work out this space
without reaching out
with your arm. What you
have to do is think about

 If you can give eye contact with the person – but be careful not
to stare at them (a good trick is try and focus your eyes on their
shoulder and then look up to their face a few times during the
conversation, especially when you are showing you are
listening to what they are saying)
 Say the other person’s name when you want to get their
attention before you say something to them
 Take turns in a conversation – nobody likes a person who
seems to “know it all” and keeps talking and not listening to
what the other person has to say, interrupting or talking over
the top of the speaker. Some good tricks are to:
 wait until the other person stops and if they stop talking for
at least 10 seconds (count to about 10 but in your head)
they probably are waiting for you to talk then say what you
want to on the topic –remember to let the other person back
into the conversation when you have finished saying what
you wanted to say
 ask the other person a question
 listen very carefully to the other person, they will stop talking
and expect you to say something
 wait until the other person asks you what you think or a
question
 If you don’t agree with the other person that
is OK and you can you disagree but you need to say it without
being rude, impolite, raising your voice or getting angry…if the
topic will make you and the other person angry or mad at each
other, it might be best to change the topic to something else or
say ‘I’ve got to get going now, been nice to see you and we can
catch up later” (catch-up means that you will meet them again at
some other time, maybe you could phone them)
 What you talk about might be different for
different people. For example you could talk about pop music with
your friend but you probably would not talk too much about this
with the Principal.
 If you are really good at something don’t talk
about how good you are all the time. If you do people will say you
“brag’. If you brag other students may not want to be around you.
 Try not to ask questions that will embarrass
a person especially in public. Look at the list of things not to talk
about, that’s a good guide for things not to ask about. People
don’t like to be asked personal questions (about their family,
friends, illnesses, arguments that they have had, sex and
relationships) as these things are private.
 If someone asks you a question you think is
too personal, or you feel uncomfortable about answer it is OK to
say that it is personal and that you feel uncomfortable answering.
In some cases you have to answer questions about what you
have done or know about something (could be a crime and you
are asked by the police what you saw, or a questions asked by
your doctor about how you feel) and this is OK.
 When two or more people are standing close
together and are speaking softly it could mean that what they are
talking about is private and it is not a good idea to listen in (this is
called eavesdropping). It could also be that someone is talking on
their phone, it is not very polite to listen.
 If a person of the opposite sex is nice to you
it does not mean that he or she is your boyfriend or girlfriend.
 Don’t go to others and say she is your girlfriend or he is your
boyfriend –this maybe cause a lot of other students to tease
you or the other person and they likely won’t be nice to you
again.
 Don’t follow them around –this is what we call ‘stalking’ and
it makes them feel very uncomfortable and sometimes
scared
 Use a good tone of voice and use “Miss’ or ‘Sir” when
talking to your teacher. Speak respectfully and don’t make rude
comments such as “you’re old”, ‘you’ve got funny hair’, ‘you’ve
 got a big *****’ or ‘you look fat’ as these comments are hurtful and
inappropriate.
 When talking to an adult (teacher or Principal) don’t tell
them they need to listen better or that they don’t care about you or
other students– teachers do listen and they do care otherwise
they would not like teaching…both listening and caring are part of
their job.

These are not all the things you need to know

about how to be happy at school…. you will learn
more and more… use your Secret Book Diary pages
to write out some things you have learnt for
yourself ……..
Secret Diary Pages
Dat My New information for the Secret Book of
e Helpful Rules

Secret Diary Pages

Dat My New information for the Secret Book of
e Helpful Rules

Secret Diary Pages

Dat My New information for the Secret Book of
e Helpful Rules
 Secret Diary Pages
Dat My New information for the Secret Book of
e Helpful Rules
The Secret Book of Helpful School Rules
Written for students with Autism
Author: Pat Chalmers
2007
Kirwan State High School Townsville Australia