1

00:00:00,459 --> 00:00:01,126

That's a wrap.

2
00:00:01,293 --> 00:00:05,088
Monday's call time is 9:00 AM.

3
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:07,925
Good show, Liz Lemon!

4
00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:09,843
You coming to the after-after party.

5
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:13,680
We have after-after parties?

6
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:19,561
Hey, I'm Steven!

7
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:22,189
Hi, Sven!
I'm Liz.

8
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,190
Yo, Lemon!

9
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,901
You comin' to the after-after-after party?

10
00:00:26,066 --> 00:00:28,110
Sure.

11
00:00:28,274 --> 00:00:30,030
I'm Tracy's new business manager.

12
00:00:30,194 --> 00:00:31,745
He gave me tickets to see the show.

13
00:00:31,902 --> 00:00:32,744
Oh, cool.

14
00:00:32,909 --> 00:00:33,993
Let's blow this joint!

15
00:00:34,156 --> 00:00:37,451
It's about to turn back
into a taxi dispatch center.

16
00:00:37,626 --> 00:00:40,542
You going to the
after-after-after-after party?

17
00:00:40,706 --> 00:00:41,290
Okay.

18
00:00:41,455 --> 00:00:43,792
Well, let's rock.

19
00:00:43,968 --> 00:00:46,792
2-1-2, 5-5-5--

20
00:00:47,045 --> 00:00:48,460
Don't go, Liz Lemon!

21
00:00:48,637 --> 00:00:51,421
There's still a after-after-
after-after-after-party!

22
00:00:51,596 --> 00:00:56,091
I just gotta take my kids
to soccer first.

23
00:01:20,286 --> 00:01:22,413
The inaugural vintage.

24
00:01:22,585 --> 00:01:23,790
"Donaghy Estates?"

25
00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:26,422
It's from that vineyard on the north fork
of Long Island that I bought.

26
00:01:26,588 --> 00:01:27,373
I told you about that.

27
00:01:27,548 --> 00:01:28,212
No, you didn't.

28
00:01:28,385 --> 00:01:29,500
Oh...
29
00:01:29,678 --> 00:01:31,340
Must've been Angie Harmon.

30
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:33,213
Boy, I'm really excited about this.

31
00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:39,340
After 20 years of working for big companies,
I finally have my own name on something.

32
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:39,972
I know what you mean.

33
00:01:40,147 --> 00:01:42,722
When I was eight, I had my name
on the score board at a Phillies game.

34
00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:45,390
And they spelled it "Lez"
but it was pretty cool.

35
00:01:45,565 --> 00:01:50,233
Well, this ought to prove my mother wrong,
saying that Donaghy is Gaelic for "failure."

36
00:01:50,407 --> 00:01:51,273
Huh, what the hell does she know?

37
00:01:51,447 --> 00:01:52,323
She's a Murphy.

38
00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:55,152
Bunch of mud farmers
and sheep rapists.

39
00:01:55,327 --> 00:01:56,900
Well, congratulations.

40
00:01:57,078 --> 00:01:59,322
Yes.

41
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:02,030
Umm.

42
00:02:03,548 --> 00:02:05,583
Oh, I'm gonna vomit!

43
00:02:05,757 --> 00:02:10,083
What the hell am I gonna do?
I've got 10,000 cases of this crap.

44
00:02:10,258 --> 00:02:11,253
Hey, am I interrupting?

45
00:02:11,428 --> 00:02:12,961
No.
Hey, Steven...

46
00:02:13,137 --> 00:02:14,462
How are things going with Tracy?

47
00:02:14,638 --> 00:02:16,553
I'm making progress on his IRS problems.

48
00:02:16,728 --> 00:02:17,673
You two know each other?

49
00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:20,640
Well, I referred Tracy to Steven,
who's an executive vice president

50
00:02:20,805 --> 00:02:23,643
at the investment firm of
Dewey, Cheatham, and Livingston.

51
00:02:23,815 --> 00:02:26,431
I just swung by to see
if we were still on for tonight.

52
00:02:26,608 --> 00:02:28,141
Oh, yeah, of course.

53
00:02:28,317 --> 00:02:29,942
Good.

54
00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:33,072
See you tonight.

55
00:02:34,577 --> 00:02:36,241
Well, well, well, Lemon!
56
00:02:36,408 --> 00:02:37,243
Steven's a good man.

57
00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:38,530
He's on partner track at Dewey.

58
00:02:38,707 --> 00:02:39,743
And he's a Black.

59
00:02:39,915 --> 00:02:42,122
A black?
That is offensive.

60
00:02:42,285 --> 00:02:42,703
No, no--

61
00:02:42,877 --> 00:02:46,253
That's his last name.
Steven Black.

62
00:02:46,418 --> 00:02:46,911
Good family.

63
00:02:47,085 --> 00:02:48,040
Oh, yeah, of course.

64
00:02:48,215 --> 00:02:49,542
Remarkable people, the Blacks.

65
00:02:49,715 --> 00:02:52,331
Musical, very athletic.
Not very good swimmers.

66
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:57,670
Again, I'm talking about the family.
Black is African American though.

67
00:02:57,846 --> 00:02:59,383
Well, I don't care about that.

68
00:02:59,558 --> 00:03:02,852
Well, I know that is the type of thing
we tell ourselves, but trust me.

69
00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:06,062
When I was dating Condoleezza,
there were genuine cultural tensions.

70
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,892
I mean, we would go to the movies,
and she would yell at the screen.

71
00:03:09,065 --> 00:03:10,730
I don't even notice those kind of things.

72
00:03:10,895 --> 00:03:13,562
You know, when I leave work at night,
I am just riding on a subway car

73
00:03:13,737 --> 00:03:17,612
full of scary, teenaged people.

74
00:03:18,785 --> 00:03:21,781
Mr. Jordan, I have a message
for you from a Mr. Ridikolus.

75
00:03:21,957 --> 00:03:23,452
Ridikolus--
the hip-hop producer?

76
00:03:23,627 --> 00:03:24,993
Isn't that the guy
that bit Suge Knight?

77
00:03:25,165 --> 00:03:25,831
Yeah, yeah--

78
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,123
He bit Suge Knight.

79
00:03:27,295 --> 00:03:30,252
Held Raven Simone over a balcony.
Made Rasheed Wallace cry.

80
00:03:30,416 --> 00:03:31,423
Dude is crazy!

81
00:03:31,585 --> 00:03:32,883
I don't want him calling me.

82
00:03:33,045 --> 00:03:34,290
Oh, he didn't call, Mr. Jordan.

83
00:03:34,467 --> 00:03:36,092
He gave me the message
after I wouldn't let him

84
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:37,340
into your party
the other night.

85
00:03:37,505 --> 00:03:38,920
What?

86
00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:39,881
I'll call you when I get it--

87
00:03:40,055 --> 00:03:41,593
I'm sorry, this is a private party.

88
00:03:41,767 --> 00:03:42,513
Hold on.

89
00:03:42,687 --> 00:03:43,841
We're with Tracy Jordan.

90
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,353
And Mr. Jordan himself said,

91
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,222
"Don't let no one in
who's not on the list

92
00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:49,310
"'Cause this mess
is gonna get raw like sushi,

93
00:03:49,475 --> 00:03:50,893
so haters to the left."

94
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:51,523
Hey!

95
00:03:51,696 --> 00:03:53,232
Whoa whoa whoa whoa.

96
00:03:53,405 --> 00:03:54,482
What's your game, man?

97
00:03:54,655 --> 00:03:57,073
Boggle.

98
00:03:57,775 --> 00:03:59,612
Come on, come on.

99
00:03:59,786 --> 00:04:00,283
But you know what?

100
00:04:00,447 --> 00:04:02,613
You tell Tracy Jordan
that Ridikolus...

101
00:04:02,787 --> 00:04:05,243
"Is gonna eat his family."

102
00:04:05,417 --> 00:04:08,663
Excuse me, won't you?

103
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,050
Oh, hey!

104
00:04:19,215 --> 00:04:20,463
Oh...

105
00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:21,091
I'm sorry--

106
00:04:21,265 --> 00:04:21,880
Who died?

107
00:04:22,058 --> 00:04:23,880
Nobody.
I have a date.

108
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:24,303
Really?

109
00:04:24,478 --> 00:04:25,511
With that guy that sent you the flowers?

110
00:04:25,687 --> 00:04:26,222
By mistake?

111
00:04:26,397 --> 00:04:27,682
No, that guy has a girlfriend.

112
00:04:27,856 --> 00:04:29,062
Technicality.

113
00:04:29,226 --> 00:04:30,852
Although, I did see flower guy recently.

114
00:04:31,026 --> 00:04:34,692
And it was pretty excellent.

115
00:04:36,027 --> 00:04:39,653
- Hey, Liz Lemon.
- Hey, workout flower guy.

116
00:04:39,827 --> 00:04:40,481
Whattaya got there?

117
00:04:40,657 --> 00:04:43,030
The old leather pumpkin?

118
00:04:43,208 --> 00:04:43,740
Oh, I'm sorry.

119
00:04:43,905 --> 00:04:44,453
What?

120
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,783
I was just saying, um...

121
00:04:46,955 --> 00:04:50,870
You got the old leather pumpkin.

122
00:04:55,715 --> 00:04:56,080
Ugh.

123
00:04:56,256 --> 00:04:57,882
But he's taken, so I'm gonna go out

124
00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,673
with this guy Steven
that I met at the after party.
125
00:04:59,847 --> 00:05:01,461
Oh, that cute black guy?

126
00:05:01,637 --> 00:05:04,090
Why am I the only person
that doesn't care that he's black?

127
00:05:04,268 --> 00:05:07,431
Race is a huge issue in this country,
according to Newsweek magazine.

128
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:12,931
Well, it's 2007 and some of us
don't have those hang-ups.

129
00:05:13,107 --> 00:05:16,850
And good morning to you, sir.

130
00:05:19,577 --> 00:05:21,941
Come on in, Lemon.

131
00:05:22,115 --> 00:05:23,820
Tracy, what seems to be the problem.

132
00:05:23,996 --> 00:05:25,321
Tracy who?

133
00:05:25,497 --> 00:05:27,281
You're lookin' at a ghost, JD.

134
00:05:27,455 --> 00:05:30,623
Dead Man Walking, The Green Mile,
Christmas With the Klumps.

135
00:05:30,785 --> 00:05:32,123
Is this about Ridikolus?

136
00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:33,951
Because I think you're overreacting.

137
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,543
Look, I am old school.

138
00:05:35,718 --> 00:05:39,333
Growing up, when you were mad at somebody,
you would just break dance at 'em.

139
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:42,380
I'm talking about break hard,
pull it back-- pop, boom, boom--

140
00:05:42,556 --> 00:05:43,803
Into gladiator--

141
00:05:43,966 --> 00:05:44,920
Bring it back down.

142
00:05:45,098 --> 00:05:47,131
Yeah, I'm familiar with break dancing.

143
00:05:47,408 --> 00:05:47,720
Okay.

144
00:05:47,894 --> 00:05:48,300
Worm it out.

145
00:05:48,474 --> 00:05:49,015
And then pop!

146
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:49,604
Boom!

147
00:05:49,769 --> 00:05:52,811
Now brothers just shoot you!

148
00:05:52,976 --> 00:05:55,681
Oh, no, no--

149
00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:58,441
Look--

150
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:02,233
Ridikolus is the biggest hip-hop producer
in New York City,

151
00:06:02,408 --> 00:06:04,530
and he was disrespected at my party!

152
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,360
This may be a great opportunity.

153
00:06:06,537 --> 00:06:07,110
For what?

154
00:06:07,287 --> 00:06:10,490
To unload some of this awful wine.

155
00:06:10,665 --> 00:06:14,162
Tracy, for years,
Cristal was the hip-hop champagne,

156
00:06:14,336 --> 00:06:19,792
until the president of Roederer
committed a fateful error.

157
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,971
Cristal has since been boycotted
in the rap community,

158
00:06:33,147 --> 00:06:37,021
creating a vacuum which could be
filled by Donaghy Estates sparkling wine.

159
00:06:37,185 --> 00:06:38,482
Which, according to this lab report,

160
00:06:38,647 --> 00:06:42,312
"contains no lead
and is not fatal if swallowed."

161
00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:43,321
Mm.

162
00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:46,402
If you get rich off of this stuff,
just take care of my family.

163
00:06:46,576 --> 00:06:48,360
I don't want my kids
to have to go to college.

164
00:06:48,536 --> 00:06:50,110
Tracy, I'm not gonna
let anything happen to you.

165
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,532
You have my word.

166
00:06:52,706 --> 00:06:55,372
To success.

167
00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:02,291
Is that a piece of corn in there?

168
00:07:02,715 --> 00:07:04,341
So, uh, you like comedy.

169
00:07:04,506 --> 00:07:04,921
Mm-hmm.

170
00:07:05,096 --> 00:07:06,173
Have you heard of Mark Russell?

171
00:07:06,348 --> 00:07:09,423
Yeah, that's the guy that plays
the ragtime songs about politics.

172
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:11,182
Yes! He's wonderful.

173
00:07:11,345 --> 00:07:12,093
He has this one--

174
00:07:12,268 --> 00:07:15,890
You better watch out.
Don't make a flap.

175
00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:18,601
'Cause Hilary's wearing a Yankees cap.

176
00:07:18,776 --> 00:07:20,391
Oh boy, are you singing?

177
00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:21,980
Yes!

178
00:07:22,156 --> 00:07:24,862
It's just so funny.

179
00:07:25,026 --> 00:07:28,242
So, how about Lost this season?

180
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:31,150
Sorry, I don't own a TV.

181
00:07:31,328 --> 00:07:32,281
Really?

182
00:07:32,458 --> 00:07:34,203
What do you sit and look at?

183
00:07:34,375 --> 00:07:35,242
I have hobbies.

184
00:07:35,415 --> 00:07:38,042
I participate in Vietnam war reenactments.

185
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,870
And I take pictures of interesting doors.

186
00:07:41,047 --> 00:07:43,710
And I spend a lot of free time
blogging about Star Wars.

187
00:07:43,885 --> 00:07:44,290
Oh, really?

188
00:07:44,468 --> 00:07:45,540
You like Star Wars?

189
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:46,423
I love it.

190
00:07:46,595 --> 00:07:50,053
I was Princess Leia, like,
four Halloweens in a row...

191
00:07:50,227 --> 00:07:51,130
Recently.

192
00:07:51,308 --> 00:07:52,182
No no no no--

193
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:55,143
Not the fantasy movie with the, uh, monsters.
194
00:07:55,305 --> 00:07:58,273
I'm talking about the Strategic
Defense Initiative.

195
00:07:58,435 --> 00:08:02,981
Yeah, we should probably go ahead and order.

196
00:08:03,158 --> 00:08:05,361
This Porterhouse for two looks good.

197
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:06,940
I'm just gonna get a salad.

198
00:08:07,116 --> 00:08:09,903
I really don't care about food.

199
00:08:10,077 --> 00:08:14,662
And yet no brand has emerged
to fill that market gap at present.

200
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,080
There is no club drink.

201
00:08:17,245 --> 00:08:19,871
That's where Donaghy Estates comes in.

202
00:08:20,045 --> 00:08:22,792
Now, as you may have read
in Robert Parker's wine newsletter,

203
00:08:22,968 --> 00:08:24,372
"Donaghy Estates tastes like

204
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:29,251
"the urine of Satan
after a hefty portion of asparagus."

205
00:08:29,427 --> 00:08:30,632
But this is not a question of taste.

206
00:08:30,805 --> 00:08:31,012
Sure.

207
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,090
I mean, it's about branding,
it's about perception.

208
00:08:33,265 --> 00:08:36,352
Exactly, and the ideal opportunity
to launch a new drink label

209
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,100
is right around the corner:

210
00:08:38,265 --> 00:08:40,522
The Source Awards.

211
00:08:40,685 --> 00:08:42,891
Well, I'm producing the Source Awards.

212
00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:48,770
And I would like Donaghy Estates
to be your corporate sponsor.

213
00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:51,992
You ever have more money
than you could shake a stick at?

214
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:53,241
Well, pick out a stick.

215
00:08:53,405 --> 00:08:56,372
'Cause Ridikolus is gonna be drinking
Donaghy Estates tonight.

216
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,123
Excellent.

217
00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,280
Now, I also hope this means
you'll set aside your problem

218
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,410
with my friend Tracy Jordan.

219
00:09:01,587 --> 00:09:03,372
No, I don't think
I could let that go that easy.

220
00:09:03,548 --> 00:09:04,543
What if he makes it up to you?

221
00:09:04,716 --> 00:09:06,583
Who's hosting the Source Awards?

222
00:09:06,756 --> 00:09:09,383
What about Tracy?

223
00:09:09,556 --> 00:09:11,711
Hey, Matthew, you want
some juicy office gossip?

224
00:09:11,887 --> 00:09:14,720
They're closing the C-bank
elevators for maintenance.

225
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,511
Wow, that would've been
a great way to shoot Tracy.

226
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:18,800
Well, maybe next time.

227
00:09:18,978 --> 00:09:20,970
We're you gentlemen
not given visitors' badges,

228
00:09:21,146 --> 00:09:22,980
Or did you all just
not feel like wearing them.

229
00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:24,311
Jack, what's up with your man?

230
00:09:24,488 --> 00:09:25,521
This is just our Kenneth.

231
00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,233
How's it going, Kenneth?

232
00:09:27,407 --> 00:09:28,730
He's very unstable.

233
00:09:28,906 --> 00:09:33,071
Eh, did you get that at a cane shop?
234
00:09:33,537 --> 00:09:35,403
So then Zoolander goes,

235
00:09:35,577 --> 00:09:36,410
"Mm."

236
00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:37,992
Yeah, I've seen the movie.

237
00:09:38,167 --> 00:09:40,952
Yeah, but when you see it on an airplane,
they take out all the swears and stuff,

238
00:09:41,128 --> 00:09:43,162
and it makes it so much funnier,
I think.

239
00:09:43,336 --> 00:09:45,211
Ah, gracias.

240
00:09:45,378 --> 00:09:48,922
Wow, this has been so much fun.

241
00:09:49,086 --> 00:09:50,462
We should do this again.

242
00:09:50,635 --> 00:09:53,632
Oh, yeah... sure.

243
00:09:53,847 --> 00:09:55,630
The night's young.

244
00:09:55,807 --> 00:09:59,643
We should take a carriage ride
around the financial district.

245
00:09:59,806 --> 00:10:02,012
Okay, Steven--

246
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:04,393
you're obviously
a really nice guy.

247
00:10:04,568 --> 00:10:07,140
But I just don't think
we're a good match.

248
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,850
Yeah, I know.

249
00:10:09,106 --> 00:10:10,980
I get it.

250
00:10:11,155 --> 00:10:12,232
It's because I'm black.

251
00:10:12,408 --> 00:10:12,822
What?

252
00:10:12,985 --> 00:10:14,193
I said I get it.

253
00:10:14,365 --> 00:10:18,662
You don't like me,
because I am black!

254
00:10:19,038 --> 00:10:20,282
You think I'm racist?

255
00:10:20,457 --> 00:10:22,781
That is just nasty, negative--

256
00:10:22,958 --> 00:10:24,623
What did you call me
under your breath?

257
00:10:24,795 --> 00:10:25,163
Nothing!

258
00:10:25,338 --> 00:10:26,660
I am not racist.

259
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,212
I love black men!

260
00:10:28,376 --> 00:10:29,462
I love you!

261
00:10:29,637 --> 00:10:31,080
This is fantastic.
262
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:33,250
Let's get dessert.

263
00:10:33,428 --> 00:10:35,673
Death by Chocolate.

264
00:10:35,848 --> 00:10:40,010
No, no-- not that kind of chocolate.

265
00:10:41,936 --> 00:10:43,512
Steven played the race card?

266
00:10:43,688 --> 00:10:44,642
Yes!

267
00:10:44,817 --> 00:10:45,681
What did you do?

268
00:10:45,856 --> 00:10:46,730
What could I do?

269
00:10:46,895 --> 00:10:47,980
I picked up the check
and I made out with him

270
00:10:48,146 --> 00:10:49,562
a little bit in the taxi.

271
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:52,442
Maybe if I just hang out with him
four or five more teams,

272
00:10:52,616 --> 00:10:55,280
he'll see on his own
that we are a bad match.

273
00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:56,820
Why do you do this to yourself?

274
00:10:56,996 --> 00:10:58,650
If you don't like him, end it.

275
00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,572
Who cares if he thinks
you're a racist.

276
00:11:00,746 --> 00:11:03,950
I do because I'm not!

277
00:11:04,127 --> 00:11:07,201
Ah, than Ahman-da.

278
00:11:08,217 --> 00:11:10,920
It's Amanda.

279
00:11:12,385 --> 00:11:13,842
What are you gonna do?

280
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,050
...Tom Cruise, 'cause that's how

281
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:15,802
Oprah says it.

282
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:16,713
"Tom!"

283
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,593
That's good; sounds like her.

284
00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:20,382
Tracy, good news.

285
00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:22,513
I think I solved your problem
with Ridikolus.

286
00:11:22,686 --> 00:11:23,761
For real, Jack?

287
00:11:23,938 --> 00:11:27,681
All you have to do is agree
to host the Source Awards on Saturday.

288
00:11:27,856 --> 00:11:28,523
The Source Awards?

289
00:11:28,686 --> 00:11:31,060
No no no no no!
290
00:11:31,237 --> 00:11:32,192
What's the problem?

291
00:11:32,357 --> 00:11:33,810
Death sentence number two.

292
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,571
Shooting people at
the Source Awards is a tradition.

293
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:37,613
It's like Christmas.

294
00:11:37,787 --> 00:11:39,782
Or shooting people
outside of Hot 97.

295
00:11:39,957 --> 00:11:40,781
Tracy, don't worry.

296
00:11:40,957 --> 00:11:42,611
Ridikolus and I are in business together now.

297
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:44,493
And business heals all wounds.

298
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:47,160
I mean, look at our relationship
with Germany or Japan.

299
00:11:47,337 --> 00:11:49,542
Who could even remember
what all the fuss was about?

300
00:11:49,718 --> 00:11:50,872
It's not about Ridikolus.

301
00:11:51,048 --> 00:11:52,832
Who else is gonna be at this thing?

302
00:11:53,007 --> 00:11:55,292
Well, you're gonna be
sharing the stage with Nas.

303
00:11:55,468 --> 00:11:56,883
Nope! He hates me!

304
00:11:57,057 --> 00:11:58,263
We used to date the same girl.

305
00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,342
What about Young Jeezy?

306
00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:00,220
Forget about it.

307
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:03,141
I called his pitbull a gaywad
on 106 & Park.

308
00:12:03,308 --> 00:12:03,841
That would do it.

309
00:12:04,017 --> 00:12:04,470
The Game?

310
00:12:04,648 --> 00:12:05,010
Nope.

311
00:12:05,187 --> 00:12:05,551
TI?

312
00:12:05,727 --> 00:12:06,263
Ain't nothin' happening.

313
00:12:06,437 --> 00:12:06,810
Superhead?

314
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:07,602
No can do.

315
00:12:07,766 --> 00:12:08,063
Fabolus?

316
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:08,772
Won't do.

317
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:09,351
Rindonkeykong?
318
00:12:09,525 --> 00:12:10,232
No!

319
00:12:10,395 --> 00:12:10,852
MC Scatcat?

320
00:12:11,025 --> 00:12:11,692
What?

321
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:12,350
Homunculus?

322
00:12:12,526 --> 00:12:12,982
Mm-mm.

323
00:12:13,158 --> 00:12:13,480
Raw Dog?

324
00:12:13,655 --> 00:12:15,310
Hell no!

325
00:12:15,487 --> 00:12:17,110
Me and his beef go way back.

326
00:12:17,276 --> 00:12:19,230
We were both cast members
on a Nickelodeon show

327
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:22,071
called Ray Ray's Mystery Garage.

328
00:12:22,247 --> 00:12:23,702
Brush your teeth

329
00:12:23,906 --> 00:12:25,321
Brush your teeth

330
00:12:25,497 --> 00:12:26,622
When it's time for bed

331
00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:28,791
You gotta brush your teeth

332
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:29,911
Hey, chump--

333
00:12:30,086 --> 00:12:30,911
You scuffed my sneakers!

334
00:12:31,087 --> 00:12:32,542
Dr. J wears these!

335
00:12:32,715 --> 00:12:33,963
I'm sorry, man--

336
00:12:34,126 --> 00:12:34,882
I'm pretty drunk.

337
00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:37,880
You know what?
I'm gonna eat your family!

338
00:12:38,056 --> 00:12:39,670
Tracy, if it will make you feel
any more comfortable,

339
00:12:39,848 --> 00:12:41,422
I'd be happy to loan you a handgun.

340
00:12:41,598 --> 00:12:42,171
What?

341
00:12:42,348 --> 00:12:42,933
Oh, Mother--

342
00:12:43,098 --> 00:12:43,803
I forgot you were there.

343
00:12:43,977 --> 00:12:45,512
No, he's not taking a gun.

344
00:12:45,687 --> 00:12:47,602
Tracy, just tell them
you can't go.

345
00:12:47,765 --> 00:12:50,433
If I don't go,
Ridikolus is gonna kill me.
346
00:12:50,607 --> 00:12:53,142
If I do go, someone else
is gonna kill me.

347
00:12:53,316 --> 00:12:55,563
See, it's a Catch 22!

348
00:12:55,738 --> 00:12:58,612
Aw, he's gonna be there too.

349
00:12:58,776 --> 00:13:00,611
God!

350
00:13:00,786 --> 00:13:02,650
Yo, my Gs,
we roll 50 deep

351
00:13:02,827 --> 00:13:04,201
In the club, VIP

352
00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:07,453
Sippin' on Donaghy

353
00:13:11,048 --> 00:13:11,792
'Cause I can get raw

354
00:13:11,955 --> 00:13:12,752
and take names

355
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,292
Just like LeBron James

356
00:13:14,466 --> 00:13:15,672
And Donaghy kind of rhymes

357
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:16,121
with party

358
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:19,091
Which is cool

359
00:13:19,928 --> 00:13:21,383
This is nasty.

360
00:13:21,558 --> 00:13:25,053
I gots to get outta here.

361
00:13:25,887 --> 00:13:27,340
I gotta take a break.

362
00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:28,432
I can't drink any more of this.

363
00:13:28,606 --> 00:13:30,720
My tummy's killin' me.

364
00:13:30,895 --> 00:13:31,433
Okay, cut!

365
00:13:31,605 --> 00:13:33,600
Everybody take five.

366
00:13:33,777 --> 00:13:37,861
Ghostface, you think you could mention
DonaghyEstates.com at any point?

367
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:38,483
Okay, Jack.

368
00:13:38,656 --> 00:13:41,732
I'll go get my rhyming dictionary.

369
00:13:41,906 --> 00:13:43,533
Tracy hasn't returned
any of my calls.

370
00:13:43,695 --> 00:13:44,650
Do we still have a deal, Jack?

371
00:13:44,826 --> 00:13:46,953
Don't worry.
He'll be there.

372
00:13:47,115 --> 00:13:48,663
What color plane
you want to buy?

373
00:13:48,826 --> 00:13:52,582
Clear...
like Wonder Woman's.
374
00:13:54,796 --> 00:13:57,291
You don't realize
how beautiful the sunset is

375
00:13:57,465 --> 00:14:01,802
till it's the last one
you'll ever see.

376
00:14:03,347 --> 00:14:05,593
Ken.

377
00:14:05,848 --> 00:14:06,882
I'll be going soon.

378
00:14:07,056 --> 00:14:09,893
But I just wanted you to know
that I've loved being your mentor.

379
00:14:10,056 --> 00:14:12,972
And it's been an honor
having you be my manatee.

380
00:14:13,147 --> 00:14:14,853
Oh.

381
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:17,273
Mr. Jordan,
I hate seeing you like this.

382
00:14:17,447 --> 00:14:18,982
What can I do to help you?

383
00:14:19,155 --> 00:14:19,941
Nothing, Ken.

384
00:14:20,116 --> 00:14:23,150
I'm just going through
the classic stages of grief.

385
00:14:23,327 --> 00:14:24,573
Fear...

386
00:14:24,747 --> 00:14:25,861
Denial...
387
00:14:26,037 --> 00:14:26,990
Horniness...

388
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,612
Wisdom, sleepiness--

389
00:14:28,787 --> 00:14:30,322
And now, depression.

390
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:31,072
What about anger?

391
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:35,753
No, I don't want to do anger!
You can't make me!

392
00:14:35,915 --> 00:14:37,580
Now, stop it, Mr. Jordan.

393
00:14:37,755 --> 00:14:40,081
You need to take
some of your own advice.

394
00:14:40,258 --> 00:14:43,880
Aren't you the man who told me
to live every week like it's Shark Week?

395
00:14:44,056 --> 00:14:47,010
And that nothing's impossible
except for dinosaurs.

396
00:14:47,175 --> 00:14:49,722
Don't give up on life, sir.

397
00:14:49,897 --> 00:14:52,012
Wow!

398
00:14:52,186 --> 00:14:56,143
The manatee has become the mento.

399
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,390
Wow!

400
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:03,731
Hey, Steven.
401
00:15:03,907 --> 00:15:04,693
Can I talk to you?

402
00:15:04,868 --> 00:15:07,320
Sure, I was just gonna call you.

403
00:15:07,497 --> 00:15:09,203
Now, I know you like food.

404
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:13,452
So I found this really neat
Canadian restaurant in Times Square.

405
00:15:13,627 --> 00:15:15,912
Look, I need you
to understand something.

406
00:15:16,085 --> 00:15:20,922
I don't want to go out with you,
and it has nothing to do with your race.

407
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,842
Okay.

408
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:25,131
Steven, listen to me, okay?

409
00:15:25,306 --> 00:15:28,052
And please believe
what I'm saying.

410
00:15:28,225 --> 00:15:32,300
I truly don't like you as a person.

411
00:15:32,645 --> 00:15:35,813
Can't one human being
not like another human being?

412
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:38,733
Can't we all just not get along?

413
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,690
Liz, I wish it could be like that.

414
00:15:40,855 --> 00:15:45,113
And maybe someday, our children
or our children's children

415
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:46,942
will hate each other like that.

416
00:15:47,116 --> 00:15:49,822
But it just doesn't work
that way today.

417
00:15:49,998 --> 00:15:53,703
So what you're saying is any woman
that doesn't like you is racist.

418
00:15:53,875 --> 00:15:54,123
No--

419
00:15:54,285 --> 00:15:55,623
No no no no no...

420
00:15:55,785 --> 00:15:56,702
Some women are gay.

421
00:15:56,877 --> 00:15:57,912
Okay--

422
00:15:58,085 --> 00:15:59,041
How racist is this?

423
00:15:59,207 --> 00:16:01,833
I'm going to the Source Awards tomorrow night.

424
00:16:02,008 --> 00:16:05,093
Well, let me get on the black phone
and call the NAACP

425
00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:07,001
so they could just send you
your medal right now.

426
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:07,800
Okay, you know what?

427
00:16:07,966 --> 00:16:09,723
You're going with me as my date.
428
00:16:09,888 --> 00:16:13,430
And you will see that
we don't get along as people.

429
00:16:13,596 --> 00:16:13,841
Yeah?

430
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:14,720
Will there be a gift bag?

431
00:16:14,898 --> 00:16:15,432
Probably.

432
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:15,723
Okay.

433
00:16:15,895 --> 00:16:17,642
Well, you can have everything in it.

434
00:16:17,816 --> 00:16:21,481
Because I collect tote bags.

435
00:16:24,238 --> 00:16:26,522
Tracy, do you think I'm racist?

436
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:29,690
No--I think you like
to dress black men up as Oprah

437
00:16:29,865 --> 00:16:31,903
as part of your effort
to protect our dignity.

438
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:35,620
O, yeah, when you do that impression,
don't forget to stretch everything out.

439
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:38,542
"We've got John Travoltaaaa!"

440
00:16:38,705 --> 00:16:39,910
Tracy, buddy--

441
00:16:40,087 --> 00:16:42,460
You've got to do
this Source Awards thing.

442
00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:43,293
No, I don't.

443
00:16:43,467 --> 00:16:43,922
Why not?

444
00:16:44,088 --> 00:16:45,670
I haven't given up on life yet.

445
00:16:45,837 --> 00:16:46,540
I have a plan.

446
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:47,343
What plan?

447
00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:50,262
I'm gonna find a homeless man,
dress him up like me,

448
00:16:50,425 --> 00:16:52,343
set him on fire,
then I'm gonna start

449
00:16:52,518 --> 00:16:54,012
a brand-new life in Arizona

450
00:16:54,185 --> 00:16:57,803
under the new name
"Ron Mexico."

451
00:16:57,977 --> 00:16:59,223
We're not doing that.

452
00:16:59,395 --> 00:17:00,891
Look, I need you to do me this favor.

453
00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:01,892
I know you're nervous.

454
00:17:02,067 --> 00:17:03,482
Why don't we go down
to the pistol range,
455
00:17:03,646 --> 00:17:04,940
squeeze off a few rounds.

456
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:06,770
Let the guns do the worrying.

457
00:17:06,946 --> 00:17:08,020
Again with the guns!

458
00:17:08,197 --> 00:17:10,482
What is it
with men and guns?

459
00:17:10,657 --> 00:17:12,863
Well, I think I speak
for the both of us when I say

460
00:17:13,037 --> 00:17:14,360
because they're metal penises.

461
00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:15,821
Yeah, well, you can't
solve all your problems

462
00:17:15,995 --> 00:17:19,413
by shooting someone
or setting a stranger on fire.

463
00:17:19,585 --> 00:17:21,540
Would Oprah do that?

464
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,162
Lemon does make a good point, Tracy.

465
00:17:24,337 --> 00:17:26,383
What would Oprah do?

466
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,463
Would she run away
from her community,

467
00:17:28,635 --> 00:17:34,843
or would she face her problems head-on
and try to make a difference at the Source Awards.

468
00:17:35,015 --> 00:17:37,303
What would I do, Tracy?

469
00:17:37,477 --> 00:17:40,603
What would I doooo!

470
00:17:42,146 --> 00:17:45,480
Welcome to the 2007 Source Awards.

471
00:17:45,646 --> 00:17:46,350
That's great news.

472
00:17:46,528 --> 00:17:47,442
Thank you so much.

473
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:48,690
That was the lab.

474
00:17:48,866 --> 00:17:51,360
The monkey died of natural causes,
so we're in the clear.

475
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,032
It's great doing business with you, Jack.

476
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,152
You too, Ridikolus.

477
00:17:54,326 --> 00:17:56,150
Mm--Call me Gerald.

478
00:17:56,327 --> 00:17:58,160
Oh.

479
00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:02,620
The choice to be excellent
begins with the choice
to silence your inner critic.

480
00:18:02,795 --> 00:18:06,003
Embrace your spirit!

481
00:18:06,837 --> 00:18:07,583
What was that?

482
00:18:07,758 --> 00:18:08,830
Oprah.

483
00:18:09,007 --> 00:18:10,960
It was the only way
we could get him to come.

484
00:18:11,135 --> 00:18:12,340
You're all wonders.

485
00:18:12,506 --> 00:18:14,093
You're all my miracles.

486
00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:16,971
You're all my children of the corn.

487
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:17,591
Hi!

488
00:18:17,765 --> 00:18:18,930
Good for you!

489
00:18:19,095 --> 00:18:20,430
Good for you!

490
00:18:20,605 --> 00:18:23,182
Thank you.

491
00:18:23,648 --> 00:18:25,101
He's channeling Oprah.

492
00:18:25,278 --> 00:18:25,602
Why?

493
00:18:25,778 --> 00:18:28,233
Because he's articulate?

494
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,691
There is something about you
that I just don't like.

495
00:18:30,865 --> 00:18:31,900
Yeah!

496
00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:34,570
Hey, can you put my phone
in your purse for me?

497
00:18:34,748 --> 00:18:37,321
I don't want to drop it
when I start crumpin'.

498
00:18:37,498 --> 00:18:39,281
Why do guys always do this?

499
00:18:39,458 --> 00:18:41,662
Bring your own purse.

500
00:18:41,836 --> 00:18:44,950
I'm gonna get food.

501
00:18:47,507 --> 00:18:48,331
Here you go!

502
00:18:48,508 --> 00:18:50,082
Another case of D.E.

503
00:18:50,258 --> 00:18:51,593
I actually tried some before.

504
00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:54,803
It tasted real good,
but it make my tongue turn white.

505
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,301
Hey, do I look sweet to you?

506
00:18:56,477 --> 00:18:57,420
Do I look like sugar?

507
00:18:57,598 --> 00:18:58,473
Back away!

508
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,723
Oh, he's harmless.
Don't be ridiculous.

509
00:19:00,897 --> 00:19:02,353
I am Ridikolus.

510
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:05,020
And you better be glad
that Jack Donaghy has your back.

511
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,143
Well, I...

512
00:19:06,318 --> 00:19:08,941
Got your nose!

513
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:12,401
Jay, go get my nose back.

514
00:19:12,566 --> 00:19:16,900
Ladies and gentlemen,
your host, Mr. Tracy Jordan.

515
00:19:17,078 --> 00:19:20,243
Welcome to the 2007 Source Awards.

516
00:19:20,418 --> 00:19:23,410
Our chance to come together as a community.

517
00:19:23,586 --> 00:19:27,580
To not only look into our hearts,
but to look under our seats!

518
00:19:27,757 --> 00:19:33,001
Because everyone is getting
Vermont maple scooo-oones!

519
00:19:38,598 --> 00:19:39,171
Oh, man!

520
00:19:39,348 --> 00:19:40,762
You did not just scuff these shoes.

521
00:19:40,936 --> 00:19:42,220
P-Diddy wears these.

522
00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:44,472
Oh, will he be mad
when you give them back?

523
00:19:44,646 --> 00:19:47,850
Son, to have you,
your moms must be so stupid

524
00:19:48,025 --> 00:19:50,023
she thinks Grape Nuts is an STD.

525
00:19:50,197 --> 00:19:52,443
Well, sir, your mother
must not have raised you right,

526
00:19:52,607 --> 00:19:57,113
'cause you're not saying
very nice things.

527
00:19:58,828 --> 00:20:00,650
Girlfriend, Oprah was right!

528
00:20:00,828 --> 00:20:03,281
People just want to be together
and get free stuff!

529
00:20:03,455 --> 00:20:05,122
I didn't really have to bring this.

530
00:20:05,286 --> 00:20:05,740
Oh, my God!

531
00:20:05,917 --> 00:20:08,291
Tracy!

532
00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:13,751
How do you get the bullets
out of this thing?

533
00:20:13,928 --> 00:20:15,921
Son of a bitch!

534
00:20:16,096 --> 00:20:18,090
I was looking for the phone in your purse!

535
00:20:18,266 --> 00:20:20,802
I wasn't trying to steal
anything, you racist!

536
00:20:20,977 --> 00:20:22,723
It was an accident!
537
00:20:22,896 --> 00:20:23,430
Good God, Lemon--

538
00:20:23,595 --> 00:20:25,643
You shot a Black!

539
00:20:25,806 --> 00:20:26,433
No no no no no--

540
00:20:26,605 --> 00:20:27,683
It's cool;
that's his last name.

541
00:20:27,855 --> 00:20:29,393
You gotta be kidding me, Donaghy!

542
00:20:29,567 --> 00:20:33,063
First, Mr. Furley here disrespects me,
and then she shoots my business manager?

543
00:20:33,237 --> 00:20:34,561
I got blood on my tote!

544
00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:35,650
He's got blood on his tote.

545
00:20:35,815 --> 00:20:37,483
You're making a mockery of the Source awards.

546
00:20:37,656 --> 00:20:41,701
Wait till I tell Tupac about this.

547
00:20:43,495 --> 00:20:45,030
I didn't hear anything.

548
00:20:45,208 --> 00:20:45,661
Good.

549
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:48,953
Get him outta here!

550
00:20:51,508 --> 00:20:54,170
Oh, my bad!

551
00:20:54,177 --> 00:20:57,092
Subs by Traff and Raceman
www.forom.com

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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