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The Pointless Book
THE FIVE MILE PRESS - SAMPLE PAGES

The Pointless Book_Internals_FMP.indd 1 13/10/2014 2:55 pm
The Five Mile Press Pty Ltd
1 Centre Road, Scoresby
Victoria 3179 Australia
www.fivemile.com.au
Part of the Bonnier Publishing Group

www.bonnierpublishing.com
Text copyright © Alfie Deyes, 2014

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored
in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any form or by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise,
without the prior written permission of the publisher.
First published by Blink Publishing, 2014

This edition published in 2014 by The Five Mile Press Pty Ltd
Printed in Australia at Griffin Press.

Only wood grown from sustainable regrowth forests is used in the
manufacture of paper found in this book.
Designed by www.envydesign.co.uk
All images © Shutterstock
Illustrations: Emily Rough, Blink Publishing
The author and publisher shall have no liability or responsibility to

any person or entity regarding any loss, damage or injury incurred,
or alleged to have incurred, directly or indirectly, by the activities
or information contained in this book.
Every reasonable effort has been made to trace copyright

holders of material reproduced in this book, but if any have been
inadvertently overlooked the publishers would be glad to hear
from them.

P
The Pointless book AP
WATCH
ALFIE IN sc
ACTION
an
me
Take pointlessness to anothe
r le
the Pointless Book app with exc vel with
lusive videos
from alfie and more! access
the free app from
iTunes or Google pl ay, point
your device at the
pages with the icon above, an
d th
be revealed on screen. Here yo e videos will
u
chance to watch videos of Alf will get the
ie making a cake
in a mug, pl aying hand sl aps
and taking part in
the various hil arious challen
ges and activities!
The Pointless Book app require
s an internet
connection to be downloaded
, and can be
used on iPhone, iPad or Android
devices. For
direct links to download the
app
information, visit www.blinkpub and further
lishing.co.uk.

complete this book in a
pointless order!
4 The Pointless Book

My Journal
this week Week starting
Write down one sentence to describe each
of your days this week.
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
The Pointless Book 5

stick a photo here

write down your
favourite quote and who said it
See
’s
Alfie
o t e
qu

spray your favourite
r
scent on this page fo
h e n yo u 'r e f e e l in g d own
w
ll m e
sme

Would you See
Alfie’s
rather… choices
1) Have wings or fins?
2) Have sweets for dinner every day

for a month or have a pint of
curdled milk?
3) Have no elbows or no knees?
4) Be in a cave of spiders or snakes?
5) Swim with crocodiles or sharks?
6) Drink your own urine or eat your

own vomit?
7) Fight a horse-sized duck or

100 duck-sized horses?
8) Have legs as long as your fingers or

fingers as long as your legs?
9) Be sexually attracted to fruit or have

Cheetos dust permanently stuck to
your fingers?
10) Speak any language fluently or be

able to speak to animals?

Write down your top five
celebrity crushes
see
(look at this list a month from now and
if you still agree!)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Origami time!
cut out this square and follow the
instructions on the next page
cut HERE
cut HERE
cut HERE

Origami time!
instructions:

p i c t u r e . . .
make a cle . .with the cir

Bucket List
Write down ten things you’d like to do before you get old...
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Take your pointless
Book on a date…
Where did you go?
What did you talk about?
Did you kiss?

Accents
Challenge
SCAN
Play the accents challenge with a HERE
few friends! Do your best impression
of someone talking in the following
accents and ask your friends to
guess the country:
Australian
Jamaican
American
French
Chinese
Scottish

pointless
page! when you see this page fill it in with whatever you want!

Draw the Hair!

Draw the HaT!

Draw some
make up…

spot the Differenc
e…
. .five differences to find
!

Dream journal
last night i dreamt:
i think this means:

Write a message for a friend
and swap pages with them...
TEAR HERE


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The Pointless Book

THE FIVE MILE PRESS - SAMPLE PAGES

Part of the Bonnier Publishing Group

Text copyright © Alfie Deyes, 2014

First published by Blink Publishing, 2014

Printed in Australia at Griffin Press.

The author and publisher shall have no liability or responsibility to

Every reasonable effort has been made to trace copyright

THE FIVE MILE PRESS - SAMPLE PAGES

THE FIVE MILE PRESS - SAMPLE PAGES

4 The Pointless Book

The Pointless Book 5

6 The Pointless Book

favourite quote and who said it

The Pointless Book 7

8 The Pointless Book

1) Have wings or fins?

2) Have sweets for dinner every day

3) Have no elbows or no knees?

4) Be in a cave of spiders or snakes?

5) Swim with crocodiles or sharks?

6) Drink your own urine or eat your

7) Fight a horse-sized duck or

8) Have legs as long as your fingers or

9) Be sexually attracted to fruit or have

10) Speak any language fluently or be

The Pointless Book 9

10 The Pointless Book

The Pointless Book 11

The Pointless Book 13

14 The Pointless Book

The Pointless Book 15

What did you talk about?

Did you kiss?

16 The Pointless Book

The Pointless Book 17

18 The Pointless Book

The Pointless Book 19

20 The Pointless Book

The Pointless Book 21

22 The Pointless Book

last night i dreamt:

i think this means:

24 The Pointless Book

The Pointless Book 25

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