MODULE 6: TROUBLESHOOTING – HOW TO

RECOVER WHEN THINGS HAVE GONE WRONG

If She Flakes on You
The fact is that flaking happens to all of us at one time or another. It can be frustrating and can
make you feel like throwing you hands up in disgust. Never fear. This section will show you
exactly how to handle it.

Don’t take it personally

Women will flake out on you. It’s going to happen no matter how cool you are. The trick is not to
take it personally. The fact is, until you’ve built up enough interest and comfort, you are just not
that important to her. Sad, but true. And that’s okay, because she shouldn’t be the most important
thing to you either. Didn’t you just meet her? Well there you have it.

Because women are going to flake on you it’s smart to always invite her to something you’re
already doing. That way, if she doesn’t show it’s not the end of the world.

For any girls you’ve known for a while who keep flaking, the same principles apply. You’ve got
to build her attraction to you, make a connection with her, and get her thinking of you as her best
possible choice for the night.

Be prepared, dude

I will frequently invite several girls to join me at the same time when I’m going to a party or
going out to a club, or even spending a quiet evening watching a movie. It’s the nature of texting
that people will take varying times to get back to you.

Sometimes I’ll invite four or five girls to come over and watch a movie and only one can make
it. Other times all of them will make it. I pick the one I want to hang out with the most and
reschedule the rest. Just text a little Hey something came up and I can’t make it tonight What
are you doing tomorrow (or any other night) night… Can we hang out then little hen? This is a
very good strategy for several reasons:

 If you must reschedule a girl she’s going to be a lot more likely to show up the next time
because she had just committed to you on this one.
 Remember, you always have options, and when you have options you come off as
together and non-needy, which women find very attractive.
 If a girl cancels at the last minute you can always re-invite one of the girls who was going
to come originally. She’s a lot more likely to show than if you hadn’t invited her at all.
She already had it in mind that she wanted to hang with you.
Note: this is only at the start of getting to know a girl. If you’ve seen her several times and both
have a connection, don’t use this strategy. This is only for girls who are flaky or you haven’t
connected with yet. Always respect a woman’s time if she respects yours.

What to do

How do you react when a woman flakes on you? It’s hard not to feel like she has disrespected
your time. However, it’s crucial you do not take it to heart and get tweaked. Let’s face it, if you
were out on the town with your friends having a cool time would it really matter if she didn’t
show? Not really.

That’s why you should (at the start) invite her to things you are already doing and not to
something that is dependent on her showing up, like dinner for two at Chez Swank. The best
course of action is to just ignore it. Sure, just act like you don’t care, because you really
shouldn’t care. Just invite her to something else in a few days.

It doesn’t really matter what the idea is. You can do something as plain as having coffee or
playing ping-pong, provided you word it in a fun way.

Let her ease her guilt!

Sometimes the woman will simply forget. Or she might have had something come up in her life.
Be sure to assume the positive. But if she continues to flake (or even once) she might begin to
feel guilty. At that point it might be easier for her to just stop dealing with you than to deal with
the guilt. There’s a good way to avoid this. Let her ease her guilt and make it up to you.
See how it’s not a big deal. In a fun way you’ve informed her that she owes a bottle of wine and
there’s a date planned. This shows her that your time is valuable (so she owes you some wine),
and that the whole thing is no big deal to you (you’re not needy) and you’re taking control and
setting up the next date. Pretty cool.

As an aside, having a woman bring something to a date will increase the chance that she’ll show
up. Even if you ask her to bring a bag of chips, chances are she’ll show up with them! From a
psychological standpoint she’s invested and thinks you’re counting on her. If she doesn’t show
up she’ll feel like she’s disappointing you. This also works for co-workers and friends too!

You’re not going to take it anymore

You might find yourself dealing with a woman you’re really interested in. She continues to flake
but instead of spending less time on her and more time on women who are coming through, you
keep putting forth time and energy on this one and hoping she’ll deliver.

Maybe you don’t even invite other girls who want to hang with you on the off chance she might
show up. Really? GET OVER IT!! If you find yourself in this situation make sure to
CONSTATNTLY invite other girls. ALWAYS!!
Here’s the thing. If this is a girl you’re really hot for, there’s a good chance you’ve been letting
her do stuff you wouldn’t normally allow. If you’re sure she’s attracted to you, yet she’s flaked
several times with no good reason, it’s time you put a stop to it. Thankfully you can do it in a
non-needy and jokey way.

Note: This works well with women whom you know are attracted to you and with whom you’ve
built some connection.

You need to do this right after she flakes, like the next morning, for it to have the full effect. And
make sure if she agrees to meet up again you make it a bigger deal than normal. Ok cool I’ll see
you there. I’m not going to have to send my midget ninjas after you for flaking this time am I
honey bun?

In this situation it’s always better to cut to the chase and find out if the relationship is moving
ahead or if it’s just a waste of time. Remember, your time is valuable, so spend it on people that
move you closer to your goals.

Flaking Recap
1. If a woman flakes, don’t take it personally. Until you build up strong interest you are just
not that important to her. And she shouldn’t be the most important thing in your life
either. Women are going to flake on you, so get comfortable with the idea.
2. Get a little insurance by texting several girls you like and invite them to a date (watching
a movie at your house). If more than one wants to come, pick the one you like the most
and defer the others.
3. If a woman flakes, don’t make a big deal out of it. Just let her make it up to you later, so
she can avoid feeling all that guilt. This shows her that your time is valuable, the whole
thing is no big deal to you, and you’re already taking control and moving forward with
another date.
4. Sometimes you have to call a woman who keeps flaking out (in a fun way). Text her the
next morning (don’t wait any longer) and when she agrees to see you again be sure to
make a bigger deal about her not flaking (again in a fun way).
If She Stops Responding
It’s happened to all of us. We think everything’s going just dandy with a girl and then suddenly
she stops responding. There could be a lot of reasons why: Maybe there’s an emergency going on
in her life, or she’s getting swamped with texts and yours got lost somehow, or she’s really busy
at work and forgot, or you said something that she needed to think about and forgot to get back
to you, or she lost interest, etc. Well don’t worry because all is not lost. There are some ways to
get back her attention.

Remind her how cool you are

Actually you need to build up some more attraction in her mind. You do this by sending a special
text that’s jokey and non-needy that involves her in some way, like requesting something crazy
from her.

Examples

In Practice
—She Didn’t Respond to My First Text—-
…8 days later…
Get her ego involved

Nothing works like bringing somebody’s ego into the picture. Let’s face it, people love to hear
about themselves. The approach is to say you just saw somebody that reminded you of her. Like
always you want to make it jokey and fun, and maybe a little crazy mixed in.

You want her to be wondering why that would remind you of her. This approach works because
people are constantly curious about what other people think of them.

Examples

In Practice

Hey babe, you don’t need to feel guilty.

Alrighty, you now have some really cool, totally irresistible texts to send to a woman when she
stops responding to you. But now, my good man, I will reveal a secret it took me a lot of years
and a few tears, and tons of lost dates to learn. There is another totally overlooked reason why a
woman might not be responding to your texts. Guilt.

A lot of times when she doesn’t get back after a couple of messages she feels guilty if you keep
texting her. For one thing, in the past when this has happened with other dudes they’d get pissed
and send offensive messages even if she didn’t mean to mess with their feelings.

But not you. Oh no, not you. Why? Because I’m going to tell you about the “You Don’t Need to
Feel Guilty” technique.

The reason this works so well is because it gives her an excuse for not getting back to you. It’s a
fun excuse that has nothing to do with you – after all, you’re one cool dude – she just got busy
with something, that’s all. No big deal.

And more often than not it will lead you into a cool little role-playing thing. And as you know,
role-playing is a great way to build up attraction.

The “You Don’t Need to Feel Guilty” technique is broken into 3 sections. Once you understand
them you can make up dozens of your own messages that will have her scratching and clawing to
get back to you.

Here’s the Structure:

a. Make up a funny excuse for her. Make up a silly reason why she hasn’t gotten back to you.
As you’ll see, it can be anything from joining a band of pirates to being abducted by Brad Pitt
look-alike aliens.

b. Her goofy activity. Then you add in some goofy reason, that’s part of the silly event, for why
she hasn’t been getting back to you. Anything funny and ridiculous will work. Like if she joined
a band of pirates, she couldn’t get back to you because she was busy pillaging, plundering and
counting her pieces of eight. Anything at all, as long as it’s silly.

c. The catch. Now you compel her to respond. How? Just tell her that when she’s done with
whatever she’s been doing, escapes, etc. to text you back. It’s a good idea to add a twist –
something that gives her a little extra reason to respond by triggering her curiosity or ego.
Something like, you have a question for her or a fun idea having to do with her. For example,
“Speaking of pirates, have you ever had a Singapore Sling at Captain Willy’s Bar?”

Here’s what it looks like in practice:

Example 1
Example 2

Example 3

Example 4

Just imagine a girl sent a text like this to you. You know you’d give it a chuckle and get off a
response.

Still not convinced? Check out my message interaction with buddy Dave below:
Pretty cool, eh? Now it’s your turn. Don’t forget to be creative and keep it fun!

It’s so urgent!

As a total last resort you can say things that create a sense of urgency. This will get her to
respond or it will drive her away. You see, people are more concerned with the fear of losing
something they have than the excitement of getting something they don’t have.
This should be your last message after you’ve tried everything else over an extended period of
time. If she responds say something like, Hey, you’re among the living after all… where have ya
been? I thought you might have run off to join a band of pirates and got caught up in the
pillaging lol. This should get the conversation moving again. Now just use the principles you’ve
learned in this system to move things forward.

Resurrecting OLD numbers

Sometimes for whatever reason we have a bunch of numbers that of girls that we’d like to see
but never met up with. Maybe one of us took a holiday right after meeting, maybe one of us got
into a relationship, or maybe we were just too busy with other girls and the number kinda got too
old for the usual first text.

Try sending a message like this:

In practice:

In this example, after this random text, this girl went on to become my girlfriend for 6 months.
Conclusion

If you’re still not able to get a girl to get back to you after using one or more of these texts she is
either really captured by pirates or somebody you should pass on and move on. Hey, with all the
techniques you’ve learned you have an crushing advantage over other guys stumbling around
trying to get her to respond to them.

Good luck to those dudes! So you’re way, way ahead of the pack – now get out there and use this
stuff. Look at it this way – she wants to meet a guy with value, not just looks. You don’t need to
be Joe Handsome if you’re consistently demonstrating high value. So go get her!

Troubleshooting Recap
1. If a woman stops responding, it’s not that big a deal. Sometimes she meant to reply but
something came up or she just forgot. Hey, it happens.
2. If she’s stopped responding, usually you need to build up some more attraction. You
accomplish this by sending her a fun text that’s silly and non-needy that concerns her
directly, either by doing something funny to her or requesting something goofy and
playful from her
3. Being charming and jokey is the key, as always. Don’t forget to say something that
engages her ego to make her take notice. Remember, we all love to hear about ourselves.
4. As a last resort create a sense of urgency. This will either bring her back or push her
away. Say something like you’re deleting numbers is hers still good. This will get her to
respond or you’ll never hear from her again. Either way, you’ll know where you stand on
this one.
5. It can be quite easy to resurrect old numbers that you thought were dead, even if
6. it’s been many, many months.