1

Mackensie Shaw

Mr. Haase

COMM 1010

22 July 2019

Myself as a Communicator Part 2

For my communication assessment I interviewed Jake, Nicholle, and Jamie. Jake is my

husband, Nicholle is my friend from my biology class, and Jamie is my former employer.

How am I at articulating my needs, opinions, views, or concerns?

Jake:
This was an interesting conversation, because we learned a lot about how we communicate with
each other. One thing he said about the aforementioned question was, “ I can tell that you’re a lot
more comfortable expressing your needs to me because we have a stronger emotional
relationship.” We also agreed that, when it comes to opinions, views and concerns, we are both
comfortable talking with each other and voicing our thoughts.
Compared to what I thought about myself, Jake thought I did good! I think sometimes I give
myself a hard time and think I don’t express myself well, but he thinks differently! “I’m glad
you’re open with me and I’m glad I can be the same. I think that’s healthy for our marriage.”.

Nicholle:
I laughed when Nicolle said, “I think you beat around the bush/ramble when you start talking
about needs. You’re very independent and confident and it seems like you don’t feel comfortable
letting yourself be vulnerable” Nicholle and I have different opinions on a lot of things, but
we’ve never had a problem arguing or anything. I think we just bring our opinions to the table in
an open way and discuss them without intent on bringing anyone down.
I was surprised at how easy going Nicholle thought I was because I tend to freak out, but she
doesn’t seem to think so.

Jamie:
Jamie seemed to speak my mind for me. I was hard on myself in the self assessment and Jamie
was hard on me in real life. She’s pretty blunt and isn’t one to sugar coat things. So our interview
was interesting! I realized how sensitive I can be when talking to Jamie, but then again, she tells
you straight up what she thinks about you. So, all in all, it was helpful.
Jamie said that, “You aren’t very articulate, you just talk a lot”. And I think that’s true, for the
most part. We agreed that because of the nature of our relationship (employer/employee),
 2

opinions were rarely shared. When they were, it was concerning work related things such as
performance improvement and how we could work to enhance our work.

How am I as a listener?

Jake: “I think you’re a really really great listener”. Jake told me that he feels 100% confident
coming to me with anything he wants to talk about because he knows I’ll give him my attention,
heartfelt advice, and warm kindness. That was a shocker! I don’t see myself as a good listener
and the assessment didn’t either. But as we talked, I gave myself some credit and realized that
I’m a good listener because I care about the people around me. I care about Jake a lot and he can
feel that when I listen to him.

Nicholle: When I asked Nicholle about my listening skills I was surprised about what she said.
She talked about how she could tell in class when sometimes I would get distracted and I tended
to ask her a lot of questions. However, she said she felt like I listened to her well. She said that I
remember a lot of small details she doesn’t remember telling me and that I am always willing to
listen when she is having a hard day. She said for the most part she feels like my listening skills
are pretty good. The reason I was surprised is because when I took the listening self assessment I
did not do good so I thought the people in the interview would agree with my score but I am glad
that Nicolle didn’t.

Jamie: When I asked Jamie about my listening skills she said about exactly what I thought she
would say. She basically told me I have selective hearing sometimes and I like to hear what I
want to hear. She did say I am a hard worker but sometimes I get distracted by tasks I need to
complete instead of focusing on the task that needs to be completed in the moment. She said that
she expects this from most teenagers and that’s basically who she is in charge of. I was not
surprised when Jamie told me this because my mom tells me that I have selective hearing all the
time! Sometimes I think I can be stubborn and I like to hear what I want. I hope I can improve
my listening skills because I want to be a more effective communication for my future career.

What aspects of my nonverbal behavior are effective? What can be improved?

Jake: Jake thinks I’m good at making eye contact and always knows I’m engaged in a
conversation when I do so. But, like Nicolle, Jake said I’m awkward when I talk. “When we start
talking at the same time, I always say ‘go ahead’, but you will keep insisting that I ‘go ahead’
when really you just need to go ahead. So I think I can improve on my awkwardness and be
better at “going ahead”.

Nicholle: Coley did not shy away from telling me how awkward I am..but that is okay because I
know it’s true. She told me the first time she met me she thought I would be rude because of my
facial expressions because I looked mad. When she told me this I was not surprised because a lot
of people think this about me and I often make weird facial expressions. She also told me I was
just kind of awkward when we first started talking. I was not surprised because when I am in a
new environment with people I do not know I tend to clam up and not be myself. She did say
 3

once she got to know me she realized how friendly and smiley I really am. I think the biggest
thing I can work on from Nicholle’s advice is to smile more to new people and be more
confident.

Jamie: Jamie said that I did well communicating with the patrons who came to swim at the rec
center when they needed help. But she also said I did not go enough out of my way to converse
with them. She said a lot of the guards would be very interactive with patrons and I would often
just stick to doing my job without a lot of conversation with patrons or guards, and so my
nonverbal communication came off as standoffish. When I thought back on what she said I
realized how my noverbal communication was not that good at work. I remember how I would
often go to work just to do my job and that is what I would focus on. I also was a headguard and
in charge of the lifeguards and I felt like I couldn’t really be friends with them because I was in
charge of them in a way. When I look back on it, I wish I would have taken the time to get to
know my co workers more and been more involved with talking to patrons.

What are my communication strengths?

Jake: “Like we talked about before, you’re an extremely great listener. That isn’t coming from
just me, but others say the same thing about you. You’re also good at being yourself in a
conversation and I’ve never felt like you’re hiding things or putting on a show” Flattering! I can
agree with some of that. I try my best to be authentic and avoid acting like someone I’m not. I
don’t try to express that I’m better than I am and I’m ok with showing vulnerabilities.

Nicholle: Nicholle told me that she felt like some of my communication strengths were that I am
funny, friendly, and hardworking. She told me that the only reason she got through biology was
because of me making her laugh everyday. This made me really happy when she told me this!
She also said that I was always really nice to everyone around me, and had a positive attitude in
class. The last strength she said was that I worked hard. She said that was the best thing about
having me in biology because when we did group project she knew she could count on me to do
my part. When she told me my strengths it made me glad that a close friend can see good skills I
have that I don’t always see in myself.

Jamie: I was surprised that Jamie could even think of any communication strengths for me! She
can be very blunt, but she is good at giving constructive criticism. She told me that my biggest
strengths were that I am a hard worker, and I am friendly. She said that no one ever had
complaints about me because I was nice to everyone, and had a good attitude for the most part.
She also told me that I was always up and moving and finding work to do on every shift, and was
always proactive whenever she would come evaluate me. When she told me this I was glad that
she thought this about me, because I enjoyed my last job a lot and I really value her opinion.

What are my communication weaknesses?

 4

Jake: Jake told me that he gets bugged when he’s trying to get my attention and talk to me but
I’m on my phone, distracted by instagram or something. I definitely think that’s a weakness of
mine. I love to listen to people when they talk, but I have noticed in the past that if I am carried
away in social media or a text conversation, it’s hard to get me unfocused. The other weakness
Jake and I talked about how I tend to take things personally and yeah, I do that. I think that’s
definitely something I can work on, not taking things so personally. Although, I feel that the only
times I really take things personally is when they’re coming from people closest to me, like Jake.

Nicholle: When Nicholle thought about what my communication weaknesses are she said that I
tend to joke around too much. I have a really sarcastic personality and I sometimes take it too far.
She said that sometimes she would get offended by things I would say because she could not tell
if I was kidding or not. After she told me this, I thought back on other times in my life where this
had been a problem. For example in past friend and romantic relationships I had often gotten in
arguments about the same challenge when I tend to be passive aggressive.

Jamie: Jamie for the most part told me how she liked me as a headguard in charge of the
lifeguards because she felt like I was a pretty good leader. She did say the thing I struggled with
was discipline towards the group because she said I would kind of be a pushover sometimes
because I did not want to deal with confrontation. When Jamie said this I realized how right she
was, because oftentimes I hide from problems instead of fixing them. This weakness is
something I want to work on because I want to fix my problems instead of ignoring them. The
older I get I realize that if you just keep ignoring the problems you face the worse they get.

What is it like to have a conversation with me?

Jake: Jake said it’s fun and something he looks forward to each day after work! He loves asking
me about how my day went because I love to talk about how it went, for the most part. He also
said that he feels like I’m patient in conversation. Jake has a hard time explaining things and
most of the time, one sentence turns out to be 5 or 6. The good thing is, he recognizes this and is
grateful that I take the time to patiently hear him out. He also said I’m way easy to talk to. He
told me that was something he really really liked about me when we were dating because he
thinks he’s awkward too (and he is), so marrying a person who is easy and fun to talk to was an
absolute win in his mind.

Nicholle: Overall, Nicholle told me having a conversation with me is fun. She said I am funny,
and easy to talk to. I keep the conversation going, and she never feels like it is a one sided
conversation where she is doing all the talking. She said that she knows I am a caring person and
when she discusses problems or frustrates with me I always listen and try to help the best I can.
She says that she is glad that we became friends, and we always have fun together.

Jamie: Jamie let me know that having a conversation with me is fairly easy because I am good at
holding a conversation. She said that she feels like the dynamic of how we use to have
conversations when I was her employee is different to now because I am not anymore. When she
was my boss she felt like our conversations were about work for the most part, and we did not
 5

get into personal lives a lot. She said that now we have become close friends, and we have a
more personal relationship.

Conclusion

Overall what I learned from my self assessment and interviewing others is my personal
communication skills. The biggest take away I got from this is that I do have communication
weaknesses that I need to work on, but I also realized I have a lot more communication strengths
then I thought. I think it is human nature to be hard on ourselves instead of having a positive
outlook on growing and making our weaknesses become strengths. When I reflect on my self
assessment and interviewing people it helps me be self aware and know what areas in
communication I need to further work on to improve my skills.