My viruses ​:    

From  the  very beginning of my college life, I have been suffering from laziness 

and  loneliness.  I  was  an  introvert  since  my  childhood  but  was  curious  over 
learning  things  with  hardworking  nature.  slowly my loneliness turned me up into 
a lazy guy not interested in learning anything. 
 
The fear inside me that has been growing for a long time, that restricted 
me to talk with new people or to share something with your friends to open up 
freely. It kept limits to my imaginative power and I tried a lot to get over it 
and waited for someone, a true friend, who might help me to get over this fear. 
I kept all my secrets inside me and also feared to share my personal problems 
with anyone and suffered a lot due to lack of guidance for those problems. I 
had no idea how to face them and they ruined my childhood. I never 
understood why I felt like that, everyone around me was free, roaming with 
friends, enjoying themselves without any worries, but I was more sensitive 
even towards very small issues and so couldn't get many friends to speak 
freely. every time when I try to talk with someone or to share anything with 
someone something inside me resists very hard not to do that and due to lack 
of confidence over myself and also due to the lack of support I failed many 
times. 
 
Symptoms ​: 
loneliness  and  fear  inside  me  destroyed  my  creative  which  made  me 
always  to  think  about  myself  and  my  position  in  this  world,  every  time  I  think 
about  it  I  felt  myself  like  a  loser  without  any  talents,  not capable of anything. 
even  though  I  tried  hard  to  gather  things which made me feel better and gave 
me  confidence  but  this  fear  dominated  everything  else.  Along  with  the 
loneliness  slowly  I  was  unable  to  concentrate  on  things  and  started  neglecting 
them.  along  with  the  fear  slowly  laziness  grown  inside  me,  but  no  one  was  out 
there  to  help  me.  Even  though  in  this  process  of destruction, a major part was 
mine, but I felt like there was a scarcity of support from outside. 
 
 
 
Tools ​: 
  I was very curious to learn music because I thought it can become a way to 
build  up  my  self-confidence  and  also  I  thought  I  could  find  a  way  through  it to 
communicate  with  people  but  I  wasn’t  able  to  learn  it  in  school.  Now  I  started 
learning a musical instrument that truly helped me to make my thoughts positive 
and  enhanced  my self-confidence levels. And I started working with a group and 
helped  to  conduct  some  events  which  helped  me  a  lot  to  communicate  with 
people,  I  got  some  friends  who  can  take  care  of  me,  maybe  not  the  best  but 
they  will  surely  help  me  when  I’m  in  trouble.  It  also  helped  me  to  reduce  stage 
fear,  also  I  found  someone  with  whom  I  can  share  my  thoughts  and  I  can  get 
guidance in my life.  
 
Conclusion ​: 
The  reprogramming  is  still  under  process,  I  and  think  that  I  can  overcome 
through  these  viruses  soon.  I  started  realizing  how  things  are  working  and 
started  understanding  the  situations  and  understanding  how  to react according 
to  the  situation.  I  know  that  still,  I  can  feel  the  presence  of  those  viruses but 
I  also  know  that  the  process  of  attaining  proper  functioning  of  my  system  is 
progressing fast. 

​- P.Thriloknath, 
17EE10027.