GUIDE TO: ACCOUNTABILITY BUDDY

Enlisting the help of an Accountability Buddy (AB) or coach will help keep you on track.
This is essential for dramatically improving your chance of adhering to your program.
This partnership will accelerate your change process and enable a wider scope of changes
to occur over time. Further, it will help you to become a better teacher, friend and advocate.
Our modern society has changed dramatically from the environment our bodies evolved to
live in and many people need help and encouragement.
Often the partner of someone with cognitive decline becomes the main carer. This guide is
designed to enlist the assistance of others who may be able to help with certain aspects of
the program so entire onus is not on the one person. For example, a friend can be a
workout/walking buddy, a sibling can be a dance partner, a son or daughter can help with
technical aspects of the program like downloading mp3s and documents, etc.

Choosing an AB:
• Your AB is someone you can or already do have a good relationship with and can
be objective.

• Your AB is someone who is not in a close relationship with you e.g. spouse,
significant other, close workmate, etc. The close relationship may lend itself to bias
and may be difficult to be impartial or unemotional.

• Your AB genuinely wants to see you succeed in your goals and will be happy for you
to achieve happiness and good health.

• Your AB is trustworthy and can be relied upon.

• These types of traits are not desirable in an Accountability Buddy:

▪ Negative – this person will spend too much time and energy telling you why it
won’t work or why you won’t succeed rather than looking for good solutions
▪ Bossy – this person is overbearing in their opinions rather than supporting yours
or offering balanced guidance
▪ Competitive – there Is a good type of competition which is motivating and then
there’s the type where a person will be trying to make it about them and “outdo”
you rather than encourage you to do your best
▪ Troubled – this person needs counselling and uses this opportunity to offload
their issues on you rather than sticking to achieving your goals. Help them get
professional help instead.
▪ Excuser – this person is not authentic and will make excuses or allow you to
make excuses rather than hold you accountable
▪ Complainer – this person will bring you down rather than look for positive
solutions

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The Role of Accountability Buddy
• Be goal oriented – your role is to help achieve goals, provide support and feedback
and help to measure and manage these goals. Part of your role may be also to help
set realistic goals
• Be encouraging and supportive – your role is to help keep motivation high. If they
are discouraged, remind them of their abilities by asking what they have succeeded
in previously or what they’ve done to get over a time when the chips were down.
Also offer support if they need you to represent them to others
• Be objective yet compassionate – do not include yourself too emotionally as this
may skew your objectivity and perspective. Also, do not be too tough where it may
be counterproductive – find a balance between toughness and kindness.
• Actively listen – listen without distractions and without thinking about what you are
going to say next. Truly listen to and understand any issues brought up before
thinking about a solution. If possible, it is better for you to lead the person to come
up with a solution, which often happens as they relay the issue and give it their full
attention.
• Stay on track – stay focused, keep things clear and keep them on their mission
• Be honest – if you think they are doing well then great, but if you think they need to
do something different to get a better result, then be honest about it. If they are
making too many excuses, you are there to pull them up on it and not let them get
away with fooling themselves. Remember to also be encouraging while being
honest.
• Be motivating & keep it fun – they should feel uplifted and ready for the challenge
after each meeting with you
• What ABs are not there for:
▪ ABs do not take responsibility for others, we are responsible for ourselves
▪ ABs are not there to offer financial support or a bail out
▪ ABs are not a crisis hotline – professional help should be sought instead
▪ ABs are not to be subject to abuse or hostility, even in times of stress or
disappointment

AB Meetings
• Set out and circulate the agenda at least 1 day before meeting
• Be punctual
• Set a time limit and adhere to it
• Keep to the agenda items. You can chat about personal items at another time
• Review progress
• Write key points in your journal. Review these before next meeting to ensure items
are raised before or during the next meeting
• Review rewards or fun anti-rewards such as buying dinner or a funny dare
• Conclude with to do points (action items), dates for completion and date for next
meeting.

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Working with your AB:
• Ensure your AB is available for regular meetings and schedule them well in
advance. Face to face is ideal, but by phone or Skype is acceptable. You should aim
for at least one face to face per month at a minimum
• Complete and sign the Accountability Buddy Agreement
• Start with a commitment for 3 months
• Identify your goal(s) e.g. brain training every day, doing strength training 1 x week
• Reciprocate the support with your AB – you should also be helping them with their
goals or specified outcome
• Adhere to the strictest confidentiality

Asking Questions
Here are some very useful questions to ask your buddy and be asked by them:

• Explain, what is your ultimate goal?

▪ How will you break this goal up into small goals?

• List, what are the first new behaviors you will change to achieve your small goals?

• What are the barriers to starting your new behaviors?

• Now ask your AB:

1) What established behaviors can you attach this new behavior to?

2) What are ways you can reduce the activation energy needed to do the behavior?

3) How will you change your environment to support the behavior?

4) Who else have you told about your changes and how will they support you?

5) How will you track and measure your results?

6) What rewards have you agreed upon and fun anti-rewards for tripping up?

• Are you recording what you are learning in this process? Explain what you are
learning.

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ACCOUNTABILITY BUDDY CONTRACT
We agree to be each other’s Accountability Buddy to help each other achieve our
objectives and goals.
We will do our best to achieve our own goals, be open and honest, listen to each other and
welcome the feedback and support from our AB.
We take this commitment seriously and will challenge each other with the best intentions to
achieve these objectives and will not become defensive or provocative.
We will aim to have weekly sessions (preferably in person, but phone or skype is
acceptable), be committed to each appointment and where possible, give 24 hours or more
notice to cancel/postpone due to unforeseen circumstances.
We will keep the information and conversations held during this relationship as confidential
and will not relay these without expressed permission from each other.
We realize we are ultimately responsible for our own decisions, choices and actions.
We agree to be Accountability Buddies for ______ months until ________________, at
which time we will decide whether or not to continue the AB relationship.

YOUR GOAL: Start Date: Achieve by Date:

MY GOAL: Start Date: Achieve by Date:

Name 1 Name 2

Phone No. Phone No.

Email Email

Skype Skype

Signature Signature

Sign Date Sign Date

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