Gathering information                    

            We ask someone who is grieving to first think about someone special who feels present in
his/her life (although they are not physically present at the moment, and may be dead or gone
permanently), and then about the person they are grieving about. Then we ask them to think of the
two people simultaneously, and ask them to notice the submodality process differences between
them. The loss will typically be represented as distant and separate in some way, and with a feeling
of emotional emptiness, while the existing relationship will be represented with a sense of presence
and emotional fullness.
            There will typically be very important differences in the location of these representations in
personal space. For instance, one may be close, to the left, and larger, etc. while the other is farther,
to the right, and smaller, etc. There are  usually many other differences. One image may be brighter
than the other, or more colorful, or moving, one may be silent while the other has sounds or voices,
etc. These are all differences that are completely independent of the content of the representations.
Once these differences are known, it is a fairly simple process to transform a situation of emptiness
and grieving into one of fullness and rejoicing.
            Usually taking the image of the loss experience and moving it to the location of the
experience of presence is all that is needed to transform the loss into an experience of felt presence.
Typically the other differences in brightness, color, movement, etc., change spontaneously when the
location is  changed. If these other parameters do not change spontaneously, we simply ask the
client to change them until the loss experience is fully transformed into an experience of presence. 
            When this transformation is complete, they will recover the good feelings that they had with
the lost person.  When this occurs, the client will often cry, but these tears are very different from the
tears of loss.  These are tears of reunion with the lost feelings, and it is important to allow the client
to take time to experience them fully.