Family roles

People take on different roles or functions within the family system. These roles may be
the result of family dynamics. The way that people behave and interact in their roles
may not be a result of conscious choice. Some of the more common roles that young
people take on in a family include: 

'Peace-keeper' 
A young person may be unintentionally playing role the role of 'peace-keeper',
mediating and reducing tension between conflicting parents. Their behaviour may be in
response to their unconscious anxiety about family breakdown. This role may lead them
to stay as a child in their family rather than to move towards age-appropriate
independence. 

The problem as the 'role' 

Sometimes a young person's problems, for example drug use, may play a 'role' in the
family system distracting the family from other problems. One of the early family
systems theorists, Minuchin, identified that the negotiation of spouse stresses through
the child serves to maintain the spouse subsystem in "illusory harmony". Spouses may
reinforce deviant behaviour in a child in order to allow them to avoid addressing their
own relationship difficulties, thereby keeping the family together. 5 

'Scapegoat' 
Often, a young person with difficulties is seen as the black sheep or the bad child within
the family, while other children are seen at the good children. The young person has
become the 'scapegoat' for the family, or the visible 'symptom' of a troubled family
system. 

For example, the young person may be labeled as 'mentally ill', although they may be
behaving in a way that is actually adaptive and enables them to cope and function
within a troubled family system. If the purpose or function of their behaviour is
understood within the context of family dynamics, the young person can be supported
to cope in less detrimental ways. 
A quick overview of family dynamics
Family dynamics are the patterns and interactions we have with different members of
our family. Each family has a unique set of dynamics, which will impact our
development, ideas, and ways of behaving as well as how we interact with others.

The word family is a single word with multiple meanings. It represents many different
things, and holds within it a wide range of feelings, thoughts and ideas. Even where
there has been little contact with a family, we will have all been influenced by the
dynamics we experienced in our early lives. Our family dynamics impact on how we see
ourselves in later life, influence our relationships, how we interact with the world as well
as our well-being. However we personally define family, it is inherent that there will be
complex feelings and issues held within the relationships in our familial circle.

A brief explanation of family systems theory

Traditional individual talking therapies often focus on issues and problems within a
linear fashion, meaning that ‘event’ A caused ‘problem’ B. Talking therapies explore the
historic facts, feelings and ideas relating to an issue, so as to gain an understanding of
what caused the problem, and identify what may be needed in order for the person to
move forward and progress.

Family systems theory however views issues and problems within a circular fashion,
using what is described as a systemic perspective. Meaning that the event and the
problem exist within the context of the relationship, where both influence the other.
Family systems theory aims to assess these patterns of interactions, and look at why
things may be happening, instead of why they happened.

Family systems theory considers the nature of relationships to be bidirectional, and

moves away from seeking blame of one person for the dynamic of the relationship. The
exception to this theory is within abusive relationships, where the responsibility and
blame lay clearly with the perpetrator of the abuse.

Within family systems theory, behaviours are believed to arise due to the interrelated
nature and connectedness of various family members. For example, to seek
understanding of a young person in distress, their behaviour would be viewed through
the lens of their family’s behaviours and the family system rather than looking at the
young person in isolation.

What influences our family dynamics

 The influences of family dynamics will of course vary from family to family, and will often
include previous generations, as well as the current living generations. Socio economic
factors, class, culture and geographic location will also play key roles in how family
dynamics are established, maintained and also fractured. Below are some common
factors that may influence the development of family dynamics.

 The nature of your parent’s relationship.

 A parent who was absent for a period of your life.
 A mix of different family members, such as aunts, uncles or cousins, living under the
same roof.
 External events which affected the family such as severe illness, trauma, death,
unemployment or homelessness.
 Dynamics of previous generations.
 Whether you had a parent who was particularly soft, or strict.
 Number of children in your family.
 Personalities of the members of your family.

Roles within family dynamics

Within the dynamics of a family, we all have different roles and functions. These various
roles can come about because of how our family dynamics play out, or due to our own
individual choices, and personalities. The way we choose to interact, and the characters
we sometimes play can be a conscious choice, and can also happen unconsciously.
Some of the different roles we find ourselves playing within a family dynamic are listed
below.

Peacekeeper
This role can often unintentionally be played by young people or children. They may
often mediate, or reduce conflict between parents who are arguing or experiencing
conflict. The peacekeeper seeks to reduce tension, alleviate discourse and move the
family back into a more harmonious dynamic. The role of the peacekeeper can occur
due to unresolved and unconscious anxiety, fear or worry about a potential family
breakdown. Young people or children within this role can often find themselves
remaining as the child within their family rather than moving towards behaving
appropriately for their age.

The scapegoat
Often one family member, who experiences difficulties, is seen as the black sheep of
the family while other members are viewed as good or well behaved. This person can
become a visible symptom of the troubled family system. For example, one child being
labelled as mentally ill, even though their behaviour is adaptive and a means of survival
to deal with and live within a fractured or troubled family system. When we use family
systems theory to examine an example like the one listed above, we can see that this
member of the family could be supported by others to manage and cope in ways which
were less detrimental.

The problem as the role

A family member with a problem or issue, may play the role in drawing attention away
from much deeper issues within the family, and provide the family dynamic with
distraction. This distraction serves as a way to provide an illusion of harmony, and
parents in a family dynamic such as this, may reinforce the apparent bad behaviour of a
child so as to avoid addressing their own relationship difficulties and keep the family
together.

In closing
Our family systems are unique, fragile and fluid. Understanding our position within not
only our system but within the wider community, can provide us with a deeper and more
enriched way of looking at our interactions with others, as well as how we view and treat
ourselves.
Core Theory

Family dynamics are one part of a larger system, defined by the individual members'
relationships with each other. Families exist as their own structure made of people who share
bonds and a sense of history and endeavor to meet each other’s needs. These core qualities set
the stage for family dynamics -- without a structure, these dynamics cannot play out. Dynamics
are affected by many factors, including the number of children or a family's culture. For
example, a family with many children may have rules pertaining to which child does certain
chores.

Mapping Dynamics Through Genograms

Genograms are a handy way to discover your family's dynamics. Like a family tree, genograms
display the many generations within a family, but take it a step further by including the
relationships between family members. You may draw a dotted line to your mother to indicate
that you shared a strong bond or a jagged red line to your father to indicate a strained
relationship.
Core Theory

Family dynamics are one part of a larger system, defined by the individual members'
relationships with each other. Families exist as their own structure made of people who share
bonds and a sense of history and endeavor to meet each other’s needs. These core qualities set
the stage for family dynamics -- without a structure, these dynamics cannot play out. Dynamics
are affected by many factors, including the number of children or a family's culture. For
example, a family with many children may have rules pertaining to which child does certain
chores.

Mapping Dynamics Through Genograms

Genograms are a handy way to discover your family's dynamics. Like a family tree, genograms
display the many generations within a family, but take it a step further by including the
relationships between family members. You may draw a dotted line to your mother to indicate
that you shared a strong bond or a jagged red line to your father to indicate a strained
relationship.