Harmony in Family

Understanding Relationship
– Trust
Harmony in the Family
1. Relationship is – between one self (I1) and the other self (I2)
2. There are feelings, or expectation of feelings, in relationship – of one
self (I1) for the other self (I2)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite (9 Feelings)
4. Their fulfillment and evaluation leads to mutual happiness
Feelings in relationship:
1- Trust fo”okl 6- Reverence J)k
2- Respect lEeku 7- Glory xkSjo
3- Affection Lusg 8- Gratitude —rKrk
4- Care eerk 9- Love izse
5- Guidance okRlY;
Are these feelings Naturally Acceptable to You?
When you live with these feelings, does it lead to your happiness?
When you express these feelings to the other, does it lead to the
happiness of the other?
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Trust (fo”okl)
Trust = to be assured (vk”oLr gksuk)
= to have the clarity that the other wants to make me
happy & prosperous
= nwljk esjs lq[k] le`f) ds vFkZ esa gS] ,slk Li’V gksuk

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Trust (fo”okl)
Verify on the basis of your natural Verify on the basis of your
acceptance competence
1a. I want to make myself happy √ 1b. I am able to make myself
always happy ?
2a. I want to make the other happy √ 2b. I am able to make the others
always happy ?
3a. The other wants to make
herself/himself happy √ 3b. The other is able to make
herself/himself always happy?
4a. The other wants to make me 4b. The other is able to make me
happy ?
always happy ??

Intention – Natural Acceptance Competence

What I really want to be What I am
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Check within yourself
How many persons do you have trust on intention
– unconditional, continuous?

If you have trust on intention of the other and if the other is lacking
competence, will you:
a) Try to improve his competence
b) Get irritated
c) Get angry
d) Have a feeling of opposition

(If you have trust on intention, you will do a; not b, c or d)

This is important. Trust on intention is the foundation of relationship

You can get an idea of the state of your understanding about
relationship from this… and make a program accordingly
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Sum Up
Trust is to have the clarity that the other wants to make me happy & prosperous

If I have trust on intention, I feel related to the other – unconditional, continuous

I make a program with the other based on right evaluation of the competence of
both
In case the other is lacking in competence:
1. I live with responsibility with the other, knowing that he may make more
mistakes than me, do reaction, have uncertain conduct
2. I facilitate understanding in the other once the other is assured in relationship
(and not before that)
If I lack competence, I become ready to take help from the other to improve my
competence

If I do not have trust on intention

 I evaluate myself on the basis of my intention and others on the basis of their
competence (seldom evaluating at my competence and others’ intention)
 I have a feeling of opposition with the other which shows up as irritation or
anger (and it further leads to fighting, struggle and war)

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Harmony in Family

Understanding Relationship
– Respect
Harmony in the Family
1. Relationship is – between the self (I) and the other self (I)
2. There are feelings, or expectation of feelings, in relationship – of one
self (I) for the other self (I)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite (9 feelings)
4. Their fulfillment and evaluation leads to mutual happiness

Feelings in relationship:
1- Trust fo”okl FOUNDATION
2- Respect lEeku VALUE
3- Affection Lusg
4- Care eerk
5- Guidance okRlY;
6- Reverence J)k
7- Glory xkSjo
8- Gratitude —rKrk
9- Love izse COMPLETE VALUE

2
Respect (lEeku)
Respect = Right Evaluation

lEeku ¾ le~ $ eku

lE;d~ ekiuk

Bhd Bhd vkWadyu djuk

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Over evaluation – to evaluate for more than what it is
vf/kewY;u vf/kd vkaadyu djuk
Under evaluation – to evaluate for less than what it is Disrespect
voewY;u de vkaadyu djuk vieku
Otherwise evaluation – to evaluate for other than what it is
vewY;u vU;Fkk vkaadyu djuk

Whenever the evaluation is not right, it is disrespect

Check for yourself in every interaction with others whether it is respect

or disrespect

If we observe, we find in our day to day relationship, we tend to do one

of the above three, which is disrespect
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Respect: Right Evaluation – on the basis of the Self (I)
1. Our purpose (y{;) is the same
 I want to be continuously happy & prosperous
 The other also wants to be continuously happy & prosperous
2. Our program ¼dk;ZØe½ is the same
 My program is to understand and to live in harmony at all 4 levels
 The program of the other is also to understand and to live in harmony at all 4
levels
3. Our potential ¼{kerk½ is the same
 Desire, Thought & Expectation ¼bPNk] fopkj] vk”kk½ is continuous in
me
 Desire, Thought & Expectation ¼bPNk] fopkj] vk”kk½ is continuous in
the other

The minimum content of respect is – to be able to see and accept that

The Other is Like Me

nwljk esjs tSlk gS 6
Differentiation
Differentiation

Body Physical Beliefs

Facility

Gender Age Race Physical Wealth Post Isms Sects

Strength

Differentiation = Disrespect

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Differentiation
I evaluate on the basis of body,
physical facilities or belief (pre
conditioning). I compare with
others
I am different from the other
We are competitors
I make effort to accentuate the
difference, to manipulate, exploit
the other
Respect
I evaluate on the basis of Self (I)
1. We have the same purpose
2. We have the same program
3. We have the same potential
(difference is only in competence)
The other is like me
We are complementary
if I have more understanding than
the other
1. I interact with responsibly with the
other, knowing that he/she may
react, have uncertain conduct
2. facilitate understanding in the other
once the other is assured in relationship
(and not before that)
If the other has more
understanding than me
I become ready to understand from the other
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Sum Up
Respect is Right Evaluation

Under evaluation, over evaluation or otherwise evaluation is disrespect

Differentiation is disrespect

Respect on the basis of Self(I) – The other is like me. We are complementary to
each other. The only difference is in our level of understanding (how much of
the potential has been converted to competence)

If I have more understanding than the other:

1. I interact with perseverence and responsibly with the other, knowing
that he/she may live with reaction, uncertain conduct
2. facilitate understanding in the other once the other is assured in relationship
(and not before that)

If the other has more understanding than me:

1. I become ready to understand from the other

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Justice (U;k;)
1. Relationship is – between the self (I) and the other self (I)
2. There are feelings, or expectation of feelings, in relationship – of one self (I)
for the other self (I)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite (9 feelings)
4. Their fulfillment and evaluation leads to mutual happiness
Feelings in relationship:
1- Trust fo”okl FOUNDATION 6- Reverence J)k
2- Respect lEeku VALUE 7- Glory xkSjo
3- Affection Lusg 8- Gratitude —rKrk
4- Care eerk 9- Love izse COMPLETE VALUE
5- Guidance okRlY;
Justice = Recognition, Fulfillment & Evaluation of Human-Human Relationship,
leading to Mutual Happiness

Do we want to ensure Justice – from Family to World Family or to stop

somewhere in between?
Do we ensure this Justice in Family?
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Harmony in Family

Understanding Relationship
– Justice
Harmony in the Family
1. Relationship is – between the self (I) and the other self (I)
2. There are feelings, or expectation of feelings, in relationship – of one
self (I) for the other self (I)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite (9 feelings)
4. Their fulfillment and evaluation leads to mutual happiness

Feelings in relationship:
1- Trust fo”okl 6- Reverence J)k
7- Glory xkSjo
FOUNDATION
2- Respect lEeku VALUE
3- Affection Lusg 8- Gratitude —rKrk
4- Care eerk 9- Love izse COMPLETE VALUE
5- Guidance okRlY;

2
Affection (Lusg)
The feeling of being related to the other
(acceptance of the other as one’s relative)
nwljs dks laca/kh ds :i esa Lohdkjus dk HkkoA

One naturally feels related to the other when one has the feelings of
Trust and Respect in oneself for the other

Absence of Affection = Opposition, Jelousy

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Care (eerk) Guidance (okRlY;)
Feeling of responsibility toward the Feeling of responsibility toward
body of my relative the self(I) of my relative

The responsibility & commitment The responsibility & commitment

for nurturing and protecting for ensuring Right
the Body of my relative Understanding and Right
Feeling in the self(I) of my
relative
laca/kh ds “kjhj ds iks’k.k] laca/kh dks le>nkj o ftEesnkj
laj{k.k dh Lohd`fr dk HkkoA cukus dh Lohd`fr dk HkkoA
Care & Guidance naturally follow Affection

Are you ensuring both – care as well as guidance?

Or mostly focused on care?
While taking care of the body, are you also concerned about the self? Eg. While
feeding the child
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Reverence (J)k)
The feeling of acceptance for Excellence
Js’Brk dh Lohd`fr dk HkkoA

Excellence ¼Js’Brk½
at all 4 levels
Understanding Harmony &
1. In the Self, as an Individual
Living in Harmony 2. In Family
3. In Society
4. In Nature/Existence

Excellence and competition are not similar.

In excellence, one helps to bring the other to his level
In competition, he hinders the other from reaching to his level

Worship ¼iwtk½
Effort made to achieve the excellence. Js’Brk ds fy, fd;k x;k iz;klA

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Glory ¼xkSjo½ Gratitude ¼d`rKrk½
Feeling for those who have Feeling for those who have
worked for excellence worked for my excellence

ftUgksaus Js’Brk ds fy, fd, iz;kl ftUgksaus esjh Js’Brk ds fy,

fd;k gS] muds izfr HkkoA iz;kl fd;k muds izfr HkkoA

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Excellence (Js"Brk)
The other is like me – we are
(fo'ks"krk)
complementary
Helps the other to come to his level
Operates on the basis of his Natural
Acceptance (that is definite) –
swatantra, self driven by clarity of
human purpose
Trust, respect... In relationship
Is Prosperous – Rightly Utililises,
Shares, Nurtures
Absolute (definite completion point)
To Be Special
Not other – me
I am different from the other
Stops the other to come to his level -
effort to accentuate the difference,
to dominate, manipulate, exploit
Operates on the basis of his
preconditioning (that changes) –
driven by other on the basis of
reward / fear of punishment
Conditional relationship, over-
evaluation of self & under-
evaluation of other
Is Deprived – Hoards, Accumulates,
Exploits
Relative (no definite completion point)
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Verify on the basis of your natural acceptance if you want to be related
to:
X None  The feeling of being related to none – in opposition to all
√ One The feeling of being related to one
The feeling of being related to many Affection
√ Many
√ Everyone  The feeling of being related to all Love

Affection (Lusg) – The feeling of being related to the other

(acceptance of the other as one’s relative)
nwljs dks laca/kh ds :i esa Lohdkjus dk HkkoA

Love ¼izse½ – The feeling of being related to all (Complete Value)

¾ gj ,d dks laca/kh ds :i esa Lohdkjus dk HkkoA

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Love ¼izse½
Love ¼izse½ – The feeling of being related to all (Complete Value)
¾ gj ,d dks laca/kh ds :i esa Lohdkjus dk HkkoA
¾ iw.kZrk esa jfr & iw.kZrk esa jr gksuk & gj ,d ds lkFk laca/k
esa fufgr jl Hkkoksa dh vuqHkwfr djukA

It all starts with identifying that one is related to other human being
(Affection - Lusg) and it slowly expands to the feeling of being related
to all human beings (Love - izse) and then to all, each & every unit in
nature (human being as well as other units)
,d → vusd → gj ,d dks laca/kh ds :i esa Lohdkjuk
Human being has natural acceptance for living in relationship with all.
Understanding and living accordinly leads to Undivided Society
¼v[k.M lekt½
It starts from family and slowly expands to world family; without being
obstructed at any intermediate level
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Hamrony in Family
The Family is a Laboratory
1. To understand all 9 feelings, the fundamentals of relationship
2. To develop the competence to live in relationship
3. To practice living in relationship with all 9 feelings it in terms of fulfillment,
evaluation – ensuring mutual happiness in the family

With this grounding of human-human relationship, the competence &

commitment to live in relationship with other human beings & other units of
existence is a natural outcome

Our Natural Acceptance is

To live in a mutually fulfilling relationship – with every human being
i.e. for Justice – from Family to World Family
That is the mindset of Undivided Society ¼v[k.M lekt½

To live in a mutually enriching relationship – with every unit in Existence

i.e. for Order – from Family Order to World Family Order
That is the mindset of Universal Human Order ¼lkoZHkkSe O;oLFkk½
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Check within Yourself
What is the role of physical facility in fulfillment of these feelings?
Except for Care, there is no significant role of physical facility – it is
notional

What is the role of feelings?

What is the priority of Physical Facility & Feelings in relationship?

Where is most of the effort,for Physical Facility or Feelings?

Is the effort
to get these feelings from the other or
to ensure these feelings in oneself & to express them to the other?

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Harmony in Family – From Family to World Family (Undivided Society)
1. Relationship is – between the self (I) and the other self (I)
2. There are feelings, or expectation of feelings, in relationship – of one
self (I) for the other self (I)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite (9 feelings)
4. Their fulfillment and evaluation leads to mutual happiness
Feelings in relationship:
1- Trust fo”okl 6- Reverence J)k
7- Glory xkSjo
FOUNDATION
2- Respect lEeku VALUE
3- Affection Lusg 8- Gratitude —rKrk
4- Care eerk 9- Love izse COMPLETE VALUE
5- Guidance okRlY;
Justice = Recognition, Fulfillment & Evaluation of Human-Human
Relationship, leading to Mutual Happiness
Do we want to ensure Justice – from Family to World Family or to stop
somewhere in between?
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