Manaye 1

Evan Manaye

Instructor Litle

ENG12100L

11 September 2020

Paper 1 Peer Review

1. Put the main point of this paper in your own words and where that is stated in the paper-If

you're not sure what the main point is, say that

.The main idea of the paper is how the ad persuades the audience in buying its product

and how the use of the rhetorical appeal persuades the audience in buying and using the

product. He mentioned on page two, last paragraph why anyone looking at the ad would

buy the product.

2. How does the conclusion function for this essay? Does it provide a powerful overview and

leave you with a sense of completion? What do you like about it? What needs improved?

It gave a brief conclusion why any audience would be attracted to the ad and how the use

of rhetorical appeal makes the ad more effective and persuasive. The summered part gave

a conclusion to why viewers should buy it which I liked about it. It is my suggestion if

the author avoids using “I think” which most of us commonly use. It shows uncertainty in

his paper. The purpose of this assignment is for students to notice visual images, it is

recommended that the paper written must not show doubtfulness instead it must be

convincing and have argumentative points.

3. Does the author attempt to catch and engage the attention of the audience in the introduction?

How? Suggest at least one specific way to improve the introduction.

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The introduction part was good. the author explained well how the brand has been

controlling the advertisement industry. The intro part was short which I suggest by

having it short, the audiences might not understand why the topic is important or why

they should continue reading. start with sentences like what Adidas is for readers who

don't have a clue what the brand is.

4. How does the author restate the main point in the conclusion without simply repeating their

thesis?

The conclusion part was written as an intro. the author states how Adidas is the best

seller. As a conclusion part, it is best to conclude by stating how the use of rhetorical

appeals has helped the world to understand visual image, remove personal judgment and

use statements like “ it is suggested, it could be concluded as” and so on. I liked how the

author summarized the use of the background, the professional player had effect on the

audiences without repeating the same sentence.

5. Review “What I’ll Be Looking for when Grading” on the assignment sheet. What issues do

you see that the writer needs to address?

The image was interpreted well in the essay. It included detailed information about focal

point, the background, size of the image and gloves. It also explained the use of rhetorical

appeal and where it was used in the image. As the focus of this paper is for us to

understand usually literacy, I believe this author understood and used this image to

interpret and learn the message behind. It was mentioned that the advertisement was

owned by the brand which shows image credit. the sentence structure somehow needs

improvement. the author must develop on using more argumentative points and

grammatically correct phrases. It should also avoid using personal language and repeating
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the same sentences. overall, the author should go over hiss paper and correct the

grammatical errors and restate some sentences with weak argumentative points.

6. What do you find most compelling (interesting) about this paper?

It was interesting to read how the author explained the use of the background and

meaning. Black color as a color of rebelliousness, power and elegance, red as energy,

passion and love. not many notice colors have meaning. when colors are chosen, they

don't just attract eyes but also evoke the emotion of the viewers.

7. What major grammar errors did you notice: spelling, use of "you," fragments, too long of

sentences, etc.

There were noticeable grammar errors and republication of the same sentence in a

paragraph. This essay needs improvement in grammar choices. When writing a paper, the

author must choose precise language and create an enthralling message. As the readers

read, they must be able to communicate with the author's view.

8. What is your general end comment? Meaning, what did the writer do well and what

immediate areas do they need to focus on for revision?

The body part of the essay was clear and fairly explained each rhetorical appeal and how

they are used to create this image.it shows he clearly understood he was able to interpret

the message. However, the grammar and choosing precise language needs correction and

check if there are any duplicated paragraphs or sentences.

9. Does the main idea relate to the writer’s chosen image/ ad? Suggest improvements for the

expression of the main idea.

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The main idea of the ad is expressed very well in this writing. clearly explained why

anyone would be attracted to the ad and what are the factors that persuade viewers to

purchase the product.

10. List, in your own words, the rhetorical modes/ terminology used to convey the primary

meaning or support the main point the writer is making about the ad.

With one glance, viewers' focus will be on the famous goalkeepers. The ad uses a

rhetorical technique called ethos; the use of credibility. this shows the celebrity uses this

product which impacts the audience resulting in purchasing the item. with facial

expressions and color choices, the ad evokes the emotion of the viewers. by displaying

the goalkeepers with their Adidas gloves on, viewers think the energy behind this is the

use of this “magical” gloves.

11. The writer needed to provide a description of the image. Is it adequate for you to visualize?

Explain how the writer can improve the description/ clarify the subject for an audience that

has not seen the image/commercial

The diction if the mage is very good. I personally was able to guess what the ad would

look like without having to look. I would say the author did a good job in describing and

would not have to attach the image in the essay because it was clear enough to visualize

what it would look like.

12. Does the writer do more than just analyze different components of the ad? What is the larger

message/ meaning/ purpose they are trying to prove? Suggest improvements for achieving

this “so what?” factor.

The author mainly relied on ethos, convincing the audience how the use of credibility

affects the audiences. Adidas controlling the advertisement industry is mentioned several
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times in the writing and focus on ethos. The argumentative point somehow needs

improvement. However, this can be easily solved by choosing more convincing words.

13. What are some areas that represent reflection on larger connections within the ad/image or to

society? In your own words, express the significance of the connections and how it relates to

the writer’s main point. If there are no connections, suggest some that the writer might make.

It really showed how easily we are influenced by products, especially the ones advertised

by influencers. We often want to buy products that are used by celebrities. it makes us

feel connected with them. The author stated, “ the ad is more eye-catching for the

spectator, the prospective goalkeepers, who want to be goalkeepers, the ad with them will

be more important for them, because they will identify themselves and will want to use

the same things that the professionals use.”

14. Does the writer include a discussion of the target audience for the ad/image? If so, what can

they do to improve? If not, where can they place it, and what should they include?

I didn't notice the discussion statement that would lead the audiences to think. I suggest

asking readers if they are easily influenced by commercials because the ad uses

credibility mainly in selling its product. I believe this give audiences to discuss and read

the writings to find out why.